


Lightning's Storm

by SedatedDreams



Category: Warriors - Erin Hunter
Genre: Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anxiety Disorder, Canon-Typical Violence, Coming of Age, Drama, F/M, Fate & Destiny vs Freewill, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Implied/Referenced Torture, POV First Person, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Prophecy, Romance, SkyClan (Warriors), SkyClan doesn't leave the gorge, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Supernatural Elements, Traumatic Brain Injury, Warrior Cats, longfic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-30
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:15:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 46
Words: 167,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24458059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SedatedDreams/pseuds/SedatedDreams
Summary: Lightning sears and scorches...After the events of "SkyClan's Destiny," Lightningkit is born to Leafstar, leader of SkyClan. Despite the wild's typical dangers, life is fairly peaceful as she grows into a warrior. SkyClan is thriving, and Lightning's biggest concerns are how to be the best warrior she can be, and how to navigate her growing crush on a handsome tom. However, the appearance of a group of rogues with a mysterious past turns everything upside-down. Soon, Lightning's idyllic life is shattered by a tragedy and the reveal of an ominous prophecy. Trapped in a rising storm, she is caught between duty, loyalty, and love— between what was written in the stars for her, and what her heart says is right.With a new enemy looming on the horizon, threatening the young Clan's very existence, there is one question Lightning must answer before SkyClan's time runs out: Can she set the path of her destiny or has the prophecy already sealed her fate?(This is a rewrite/reboot of my fic, formerly called "Lightning's Destiny" and originally written from 2014-2017)
Relationships: Billystorm/Leafdapple (Warriors), Cherrytail (Warriors)/Sharpclaw (SkyClan)
Comments: 66
Kudos: 31





	1. Prologue: A Prophecy

**Author's Note:**

> This is a rewrite of a completed work on fanfiction.net. It is written in the style of the older Super Editions and was originally written before the Vision of Shadows Arc, so it follows SkyClan as if they never left the gorge!
> 
> The plot of this work will largely be the same as the one on my fanfiction.net account, but the quality of it here will be better because I'm doing a lot of editing to improve the fic. I've decided to revamp it because although I still love the characters and the story, my writing skills have improved a lot in the years since I first started it. However, keep in mind this is a several year old story, so it diverges pretty dramatically from the current Warriors canon, picking up right after "SkyClan's Destiny."
> 
> I will update this as frequently as I can, however my newer, in-progress Warriors fic, "Frosted Heart" is my number one priority. So, the editing for this may be infrequent or have to occasionally go on hiatus. 
> 
> Thank you all for reading! Please leave a Kudos or a comment if you enjoy it!

I didn’t remember much.

It’s all just flashes of black and white. Dark heat and then cold light.

I was blind and weak. I barely had the strength to wiggle across the floor.

But, she’s here. Protector. Life-giver. Mother.

I knew her as fully as I knew myself. Her mew had been the first thing that I heard, back when I first gained the capacity to perceive sound. Her milky scent wreathed around me. Her warmth had always protected me. First in the dark-world and now in the light-world. With her, everything was good, everything was safe.

He’s here too. But, he’s not like her; he’s like me. He was my companion and my brother. Twins who had entered from the black world into the white one together.

He was the male to my female. The dark to my light. I knew he would always be at my side.

For a while it seemed like it was just us. As it always had been and always would be.

But, I came to realize that there were others. A Father— one who smelled like Mother, but was male. Someone called an Echosong. I hadn’t quite figured her out yet. Her smell was odd, sometimes sweet, sometimes bitter, but her touch was always gentle, and her mew always soft.

I came to realize that Mother and Father have other names too. Words Echosong used for them, and they used for each other. Leafstar and Brackenstorm they said. I tried the new words out in my mind, but they didn’t feel right.

They gave me and my brother new names too. Lightningkit and Nightkit. After musing on them for a bit, I decided that I still preferred Brother.

Everything was good, and everything was the same. A cycle of sleeping, waking, eating, feeling Mother’s, Father’s, and Brother’s gentle touch before doing it all again.

Then something strange happened.

I could see. But, I couldn’t see. I _shouldn’t_ be able to see. I was blind. I lived in a world of darkness, light, and flickering shadows. And, yet I found myself gazing across a vast landscape; a size which was unimaginable to me and my small world.

Confused and overwhelmed, I tried to take it all in. I was standing on a high place, but the ground sharply gave way in front of me. The sky above me was black and dripped liquid. It fell down on me and the rest of the world. In the gorge below me, there were other cats. More cats than I thought could even exist, but they were only shadows. Silhouettes in the darkness. Meanwhile, I could scent and hear the meows of familiar cats: Mother, Father, Brother, in the caves of the cliff below me. The shadow-cats pressed closer to the cliff, and the familiar mews turned sharp with fear. At the sound of their fear, my chest tightened in terror as well.

Were the shadow-cats bad? Where was Mother? Why weren't she and Brother here with me?

Then a jagged flash of bright white light came down from the sky, driving away the darkness and the shadow-cats. The white light struck the ground in the gorge, transforming into a new kind of light. It had become flickering tongues of red, orange, and yellow. The shadow-cats were gone and the frightened noises quieted.

I found myself calming as well. It no longer felt strange and scary. This was familiar. First darkness and then light.

But, unlike the cold light that had greeted me and my brother as we moved from the dark-world to the next, this light was warm. It heated my pelt like the touch of my mother’s fur.

My sight faded but that didn’t worry me. I hoped it would allow me to return to my family.

Then a voice spoke. Rasping, unfamiliar.

_Lightning sears and scorches._

I didn’t have enough time to feel frightened because then I was back at my mother’s side, my brother pressed up against me. I wiggled closer to Mother and fell asleep, putting the strangeness of the words and the vision behind me.

The next thing I knew, I was greeted by more unfamiliar voices. I was still at my mother’s and brother’s side, which comforted me, but the strange voices hissed all around me.

_She is the one._

_How do you know?_

_The prophecy is clear._

_It could be the other._

_We must see._

They were so loud. Why did Mother and Brother not seem to notice them? They were frightening.

I began to cry. At the sound of my mewing, the voices silenced, and Mother stirred. She pulled me closer to her, rasping her warm tongue over me and purring.

I stilled. I was safe. Mother protected me. Sleep took me again.

The next time I heard voices, I was relieved that they were familiar. But, they were also upset. Sometimes angry.

“Our Clan has already been through so much. We’ve been exiled and destroyed once, and it was only a couple of seasons ago that the rats almost killed us again,” Echosong was saying. “I don’t know what new trial awaits us now, but it was clear that StarClan was giving me a warning.”

“But, it can’t be about _her.”_

It was Father’s voice now. Loud and defiant. There was a pause before Echosong responded.

“StarClan is mysterious. I think Lightningkit must somehow be involved, but I’m not saying that the vision is implying that she will be the one who will cause the destruction.”

“Tell me the exact words of the prophecy again.”

It was Mother’s voice this time. Firm and commanding, and very different than the soft, soothing tones she normally used with me and Brother.

 _“Lightning sears and scorches,”_ Echosong murmured.

Something about those words was familiar, but I couldn’t quite place them. They nagged at the edge of my mind.

Both Mother and Father were quiet. Echosong continued.

“I know this is difficult news for the both of you. But, Leafstar, as the leader of SkyClan, I had to share our ancestors’ warning. SkyClan needs to be prepared for whatever danger is coming. We should keep a careful eye on her—“

“Our daughter would _never_ harm SkyClan,” Father hissed.

Brother stirred at my side, woken by his voice.

“I wasn’t—“ Echosong began to protest.

Brother began to cry at the loud noises, nudging me in his quest to crawl closer to Mother. I squirmed as well, searching for her side. Mother curled herself tighter around the two of us, bring a fresh wave of her comforting, milky scent. I stilled as her pelt brushed against mine.

“We’re upsetting the kits,” Mother said, her tones back to being soft and gentle. “We can continue this conversation later.”

Her voice turned a bit harder again.

“Echosong, I think you should go now.”

“Of course, Leafstar,” Echosong murmured. “Let me know if you need anything.”

Silence fell as Brother and I nestled up against Mother’s belly, and our simple cycle of sleeping, waking, eating resumed.

As more and more cycles passed, I didn’t hear those strange words, _lightning sears and scorches,_ again. Soon, they had faded to nothingness in my mind.

* * *

**Allegiances**

**SkyClan:**

**Leader:** Leafstar- a pretty cream and tabby she-cat with blue eyes (mate- Brackenstorm, kits- Nightkit and Lightningkit)

 **Deputy:** Sharpclaw- a dark ginger tom with deep green eyes

 **Medicine Cat:** Echosong- a small silver and white tabby with blue eyes

 _ **Apprentice:**_ Frecklewish- a light brown tabby she-cat with spotted legs

 **Warriors:** Patchfoot- a black and white tom (mate- Clovertail)

Clovertail- a white and brown she-cat

Petalnose- a pale grey she-cat with blue eyes

 _ **Apprentice:**_ Ravenpaw- a sleek black she-cat with dark blue eyes

Waspwhisker- a grey and white tom with a long scar (mate- Fallowfern)

Sparrowpelt- a tabby tom with amber eyes

 _ **Apprentice:**_ Lionpaw- a fluffy golden tabby tom with yellow eyes

Cherrytail- a tortoiseshell she-cat with light green eyes

Brackenstorm (formerly Billystorm)- a fluffy ginger and white tom with green eyes

Ebonyclaw (daylight warrior)- a striking black she-cat with green eyes

Harveymoon (daylight warrior)- a white tom

 ** _Apprentice:_ **Briarpaw- a spotted brown tabby she-cat with white paws and yellow eyes

Macgyver (daylight warrior)- black and white tom

Shrewtooth- a scrawny black tom

Bouncefire- a ginger tom with bright green eyes

Wolfshade- a long-furred smoke-colored tom with grey-tinted, green eyes

Tinycloud- a small white she-cat with blue eyes

Sagewhisker- a pale grey tabby tom with pale green eyes

Minttail- a grey tabby she-cat with green eyes

Egg- a fluffy cream colored tom with blue eyes

Plumwillow- a dark grey she-cat

Rabbitleap- a brown tom

Creekfeather- a grey tabby tom

Nettlesplash- a pale brown tom

 **Queens:** Leafstar- (Nightkit- a black tom with white fore-paws, white ear-tips and green eyes. Lightningkit- a ginger and brown tortoiseshell-tabby with white, she-cat with amber eyes)

Fallowfern- a pale brown she-cat with blue eyes (Creamkit- a creamy white and grey tabby she-cat with grey eyes. Seedkit- a mostly white she-cat with a few brown tabby patches and blue eyes)

 **Elders:** Tangle- a large tabby tom with rumpled fur and amber eyes

Lichenfur- a mottled grey she-cat with amber eyes

**Cats outside of the Clans:**

Whisper- a fluffy, dark tabby ginger she-cat with amber eyes and a distinctive, rasping voice

Crash- a large black and white tom

Tattered- a scarred, patchy-furred dark brown tabby tom

Shiver- a pretty, white she-cat with green eyes

Ripper- a heavily scarred, light brown tabby and white tom with orange eyes

Silk- a pure white she-cat with a long scar down her side and orange eyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, Billystorm's name has been changed to Brackenstorm in this fic. Billystorm's silly name used to really bother me when I wrote this originally many, many years ago... Now it doesn't really bother me, (I mean, I think it's still dumb, but like in an endearing way now haha.) But, it feels like too much work to edit every instance in the fic to change it back to Billystorm. You will notice changes to younger cat's names too, since I wrote this at a time when I did not know that Sagepaw's warrior name would be Sagenose, same thing with Mintpaw.
> 
> Also, the reason for no Firefern, Harrybrook, or Stormheart in this is because I started writing this fic originally before the "SkyClan and the Stranger" graphic novels came out. So, after they came out, I thought about changing Lightningkit/Nightkit to being those three, but I feel like this story and these characters is diverges so much from the canon already, that it doesn't really matter that Fire, Harry, and Storm don't exist in this fic.


	2. Lightningkit

A small paw kicked through the air to smack me on my face.

 _Nightkit!_ I thought irritably, squirming away from my brother to curl up closer to my mother’s warm side.

I nosed myself into her fur, breathing in her sweet, comforting scent and tried to drift back into the embrace of sleep. Then Nightkit's paw thwacked my head again. I mewed angrily, screwing up my nose, and my eyes squinted open.

Blinding light flooded my gaze, and I quickly shut my eyes again, inhaling sharply. I allowed myself a few moments to recover in the soothing darkness, but after a few heartbeats, I mustered my courage and tried cracking open my eyes again, and this time, the light didn't quite hurt so much.

I gasped, my eyes widening as my surroundings suddenly washed over me. The edges of my vision were blurry, but I could tell I was in a cozy, sandy den, the celling far above my head. Soft, golden light filtered in through a hole in the far wall, bringing with it new, fresh scents on the breeze that stirred my whiskers. The cave was so much larger than I could’ve imagined. I looked about, amazed at the scope of it, and caught sight of Nightkit.

My brother was sprawled out next to me, sleeping calmly now, although his face was screwed up like he was dreaming about something unpleasant. I lifted my eyes from him to gaze up at my mother. She was huge; both Nightkit and I easily fit into the curl of her body as she curved around us, her flanks rising and falling steadily as she slept. We were pressed against her creamy belly, but her cream color blended to brown tabby as it went up her side.

I studied her face, stunned by how beautiful she was.

_What do I look like?_

Overcome by curiosity at the sudden thought, I looked down at my chest. I had short legs like Nightkit, tiny white paws, a white belly, and a brown chest that was tabby just like my mother, but as my gaze traced its way up my legs to my shoulder and sides, the brown changed to a light orange tabby. Baffled, I studied the color intensely. Neither Nightkit nor Leafstar had an orange like that on them. It look like my back was stained by the orangish sand that covered the floor of the den.

"You've opened your eyes!"

I blinked in surprise at the sudden voice, but it didn't frighten me; I recognized it instantly as my mother's. I glanced up to see her peering down at me with brilliant blue eyes. She purred and rasped her tongue over my head. I stumbled over to her chest on unsteady paws to burrow into her soft fur. A purr vibrated through me in response to hers.

"What's out there in the light?" I mewed, lifting my head to peer back at the hole again.

"That's where the rest of the camp is," Leafstar meowed.

"The camp?" I echoed, tilting my head in confusion.

My brow furrowed.

"...Is that where Father is?" I asked hesitantly.

I had a vague sense that there was another cat here sometimes, a male like Nightkit.

"Yes. That's where Brackenstorm is right now. And, a lot of other cats," Leafstar replied. "They are our Clan."

"What's a clan?" I meowed, my eyes widening at the unfamiliar word.

"Stop talking! I'm trying to sleep!" Nightkit meowed suddenly, thrashing his paws about for a moment before he also opened his eyes.

"Woah!" he gasped, blinking hard and looking around.

His eyes were murky blueish, but at the rings around them, they looked green.

"It's huge!" he gasped, his jaw slack as he tilted his head back to stare up at the ceiling.

"Mom says there is an outside too! With lots of cats and something called a 'clan,'" I meowed to him, excitement prickling at me.

"What?" Nightkit gasped.

"The cats are the Clan. You are a part of the Clan. I am too. Our Clan is called SkyClan. And, we all work together to help each other. There are warriors that hunt and patrol our borders, and medicine cats that take care of the sick or injured," Leafstar meowed excitedly down at us, like she really wanted to share all of the information she could.

I titled my head at her, trying to understand.

"Can we go out there? Into the Clan?" I squeaked.

"Not yet," Leafstar said with a gentle purr. "You're only a half moon old. You won't be able to make the climb down the cliff."

I frowned.

_The cliff?_

"But, I want to be a warrior!" Nightkit meowed, his eyes widening with excitement.

"I want to hunt too!" I meowed, 'the cliff' forgotten.

"When you're older you can be warriors," Leafstar purred. "But, you have to train as apprentices first."

My brow furrowed. I was about to ask what an 'apprentice' was when another voice appeared.

"Leafstar, I brought you some fresh-kill."

I turned my head to see a large ginger and white tom stride into the den, a shrew clutched between his teeth.

"You've opened your eyes!" he gasped, dropping the food onto the ground, and rushing inside, bringing with him a wave of familiar scent.

"...Dad?" Nightkit asked, also recognizing him.

"Yes, little one," he purred, bending his head to give both me and Nightkit a lick.

"You're so big!" I exclaimed.

"You'll be just as big one day," he purred, nuzzling us then Leafstar.

Leafstar gazed up at him with shining eyes, a purr rumbling in her throat.

"Did you catch that shrew yourself?" I asked, my gaze flicking back down to the piece of prey.

"In fact, I did," Brackenstorm replied, his green eyes twinkling.

They looked just like the green that ringed Nightkit's eyes.

"Will you teach us to hunt?" Nightkit asked.

"Of course!" Brackenstorm replied, springing to his paws.

Nightkit and I followed him to our feet as quickly as we could, wobbling unsteadily.

"Brackenstorm..." Leafstar sighed.

Brackenstorm shifted smoothly into a crouch, keeping his legs all tucked carefully under his body.

"This is the hunting crouch!" he meowed.

"Don't you think they're a little young..." Leafstar said.

Nightkit and I crouched down, trying to copy him. I swayed from side to side, sticking my tiny tail out to help me balance.

"Good job!" he purred, circling us.

"Keep all the power in your back legs! Us SkyClan cats are known for our jumping abilities!" Brackenstorm meowed.

I tucked my legs in closer, squatting down. My paws still wobbled uncertainly under me. Nightkit flattened in ears in concentration as he too tried to keep his legs steady.

"Brackenstorm," Leafstar meowed again, her face concerned.

"Just like that!" Brackenstorm purred, giving both me and Nightkit a little nudge with his muzzle. "Now... Get Leafstar!"

"Hey!" Leafstar meowed indignantly.

Nightkit and I pounced on our mother with yowls of excitement. Brackenstorm purred loudly as Leafstar fended us off, batting me and Nightkit off of her flanks with gentle paws. Leafstar shot Brackenstorm a sharp look as he padded over to her.

He licked her head, still loudly purring. Leafstar rolled her eyes and flicked her tail over his nose, but then she started to purr too. Brackenstorm sat down and curled himself up at Leafstar's side.

"Look the little kits are awake!" a different voice called from behind us.

A golden tom came barreling into the den. He was nowhere near Leafstar's size, but he was still much bigger than me and my brother. He was followed by a brown, dappled tabby she-cat and a sleek black she-cat, and finally, a larger light brown and white she-cat.

"Look Clovertail!" the dappled she-cat squeaked, trotting over to us.

The unfamiliar cats crowded closer. I felt a flash of worry, drawing back and pressing into Leafstar's fur for comfort. She nuzzled me soothingly.

"Who are you?" Nightkit asked, facing them bravely, but still staying close to our mother's side.

"I'm Lionkit!" the golden tom mewed, giving his bushy fur a shake.

"And I'm Briarkit! And that's Ravenkit!" the brown kit mewed, flicking her tail at her silent, dark sister.

"And, I'm their mother, Clovertail," the big she-cat purred.

"I'm Lightningkit," I managed to pipe up, pulling slightly away from Leafstar.

"I'm Nightkit!" Nightkit proclaimed.

"It's nice to meet you little ones," Clovertail purred.

"Are you a warrior? Leafstar was telling us about our Clan. SkyClan," I meowed.

"Yes. I am-" Clovertail began.

"I'm going to be a warrior too!" Lionkit cut her off, puffing out his chest to spring around the den.

"Me too!" Briarkit exclaimed.

"Me three!" Ravenkit spoke finally.

"But, I'll be the strongest of all!" Lionkit crowed, then with a growl, sprung at his sisters.

The three started to scuffle, purring and batting at each other.

I noticed a gleam in Nightkit's eyes. Then he stumbled forward, right into the fray.

"Oh, Nightkit! Be careful!" Leafstar meowed, half-rising to her paws.

"Wait for me!" I meowed to Nightkit, hurrying after him as quickly as my legs, still unused to walking, could take me.

I bumped into Ravenkit's back and gave her ear a nip. The older kit bucked under me, her sleek black pelt twisting.

"It's alright Leafstar, let kits be kits," I heard Clovertail mew to Leafstar.

"Yeah. They're much hardier than they look," Brackenstorm meowed, his voice warm.

I was too busy fending back Ravenkit's attack to hear my mother's reply. Nightkit batted at Briarkit while she tried to hold back him and Lionkit. Then Lionkit decided to turn on me, and Nightkit was forced to come to my defense before he decided to bat at me himself.

I stumbled about, trying to avoid my brother's attacks when Briarkit tackled him from behind. Purring, I helped her hold him down. After a while, the five of us came to a panting truce. Moss and sand had been flung all around the den. I sat down among my new friends with a heavy sigh. My paws were tired and my eyelids felt as heavy as boulders as exhaustion suddenly rushed over me. I settled down and leaned over. My head found Lionkit's soft, fluffy side and I let my eyes drift shut.


	3. The Camp

"Woah," I gasped.

My eyes went wide as moons as I stared out into the camp from the entrance to the nursery. The sun was high in the sky, and it shone warmly down into the gorge. A winding stream cut through the center of it, and there were huge, rocky cliffs on either side, and a sandy camp floor. And, cats. Cats swarmed everywhere. They were coming in and going out, carrying prey, going on patrols. There were _so_ many of them.

"How will I ever know all their names?" I meowed, my head swimming.

"Once you get to know them, their names will come easily," Leafstar meowed reassuringly.

"Do _you_ know all their names?" Nightkit asked.

Leafstar purred in laughter.

"Of course!" she said. "I'm SkyClan's leader. I have to."

"You lead all these cats!" I gasped, still staring out into the sea of pelts.

My brow furrowed.

_How could she be the leader of **all** of them? It just doesn't seem possible._

I turned to look back up my mother, a new feeling of awe filling me.

"Well, go on," she purred. "But, be careful on the trail down."

Nightkit took the lead. He bounded forward, but slowed when he reached the edge of the cliff, scrabbling carefully down the path. I followed him, carefully placing my paws in the same places where he stepped. Leafstar watched over us a bit worriedly, staying right at our heels to make sure we didn't fall. When we made it to the ground successfully, Nightkit let out a yowl of triumph and bounded forward, into camp.

"Stay in camp, alright? And, stay out of trouble," Leafstar meowed to our backs.

"Guys over here!" Briarkit called out, waving her tail to summon us to her.

I let out a sigh of relief at the sight of her familiar pelt. My brother and I bounded over to her, where she was sitting with Lionkit and Ravenkit. Meanwhile, Leafstar padded off to talk to a huge, dark ginger tom. I studied the large cat with wide eyes.

"Woah, who's that?" I meowed to Lionkit.

"That's Sharpclaw! He's the deputy. And, also the scariest warrior there is," Lionkit said with a shudder.

I blinked at Lionkit, my pelt prickling nervously.

"Really?" I squeaked.

"Don't let Dad hear you saying that about Sharpclaw," Briarkit teased her brother. "Or, he'll be mad."

"Dad? Patchfoot isn't scary at all!" Lionkit exclaimed, looking at her with wide eyes.

"Who's Patchfoot?" Nightkit meowed, tilting his head.

Ravenkit flicked her tail to indicate a black and white tom across the camp. I had to agree with Lionkit. Compared to Sharpclaw, he seemed positively scrawny.

Briarkit shook her head amusedly as Nightkit and I scrutinized Patchfoot from a distance.

"Yep, that's him," Briarkit purred, before rising to her paws and bounding off. "Now, come on! We'll show you around the camp!"

I turned, and with my brother and her litter-mates, padded after her, looking all around with wide eyes as I trotted along.

"Those are the dens," Briarkit meowed, waving her tail to indicate the caves in the cliff face. "The biggest one is the warriors'. The one there is the nursery of course. And, that's the elders' and that's the apprentices'!"

Briarkit pointed each cave out with her tail. I gazed at each of them, trying to take it all in, but before I could, Briarkit was running off again.

"Follow me!" she meowed, waving her tail.

"Does your sister ever walk anywhere?" Nightkit huffed to Lionkit as we took off again.

We came to a skidding stop at a cave at the bottom of the cliff.

"This is the medicine cats' den," Briarkit meowed.

Ferns shadowed the entrance to the cave. Curious to see the inside, I crept forward behind Briarkit to peer between the leaves and into the cave.

"Hello, kits," a soft voice purred.

The voice startled Briarkit, and she stumbled back into my nose as we backed away from the cave. I was rubbing my stinging muzzle when a grey tabby she-cat emerged from the shadows with a spotted tabby right behind her.

"You all better not be here to mess up our herb piles again," the spotted tabby said, her tail flicking teasingly.

"That only happened once, Frecklewish!" Briarkit huffed, shaking out her pelt. "And, it was only because I saw a mouse run into the cave, I swear it!"

Both Frecklewish and the grey tabby purred. The grey tabby swept her blue gaze over us, but she stopped in her tracks when she saw me.

"Hello, Lightningkit," she meowed.

I titled my head at her.

"Do I know you?" I squeaked, feeling a flash of confusion in my chest.

"No, but I was there when you and your brother were born. My name is Echosong. I'm one of the medicine cats," she meowed.

Her eyes were fixated on my own, unmoving. My pelt started to prickle with unease, and I shifted from paw to paw.

_Why is she staring at me like that?_

"Um..." Nightkit said, taking a protective step closer to my side, his confused gaze flickering from Echosong and back to me.

"Kits! I told you to stay out of trouble," Leafstar meowed, walking over to us.

Echosong jerked and the connection of our gazes broke. Instead, she looked at my mother. Leafstar sent her a burning look in reply. My brow furrowed in confusion and I crouched down slightly.

"Did I do something wrong?" I asked, my voice a whisper.

"No. No," Leafstar said, gaze flickering down to me. "I just need to speak with Echosong."

"Is everything alright?" Brackenstorm said, coming bounding over from the corner of camp.

"Yes. Just, please take the kits," Leafstar meowed.

The two of them exchanged a look. Brackenstorm shot a cold glance at Echosong, before herding the five of us away. I turned my head to see Leafstar and Echosong disappear into the medicine cats' cave.

"What was that about? Echosong is so nice normally," Ravenkit whispered to us.

I shrugged, utterly baffled.

"Why don't I show you two the fresh-kill pile? And Rockpile. That's where Leafstar addresses the Clan," Brackenstorm said, not hearing Ravenkit.

I shook my head, putting Echosong's strange behavior out of my mind. There were cats crowded around the fresh-kill pile, eating and talking.

"Bouncefire!" Lionkit meowed excitedly, bounding forward to greet a ginger tom who was devouring a thrush next to a smaller dark grey she-cat.

Ravenkit followed right after him.

"That's our half-brother," Briarkit meowed to me and Nightkit before running over to Bouncefire herself.

Bouncefire purred a greeting to his siblings.

"Who's Bouncefire?" I whispered to Brackenstorm as we approached the ginger tom.

"He's a young warrior. Bouncefire, his brother Wolfshade, and sister Tinycloud got their names not too long ago," Brackenstorm replied.

Brackenstorm flicked his ginger and white tail to indicate Tinycloud, a small white she-cat sitting in a patch of sun, and Wolfshade, a long-furred deep grey tom who was grooming himself by Rockpile.

"And, who's the grey she-cat by Bouncefire?" Nightkit meowed. "She looks younger than him."

"That's Plumpaw," Brackenstorm meowed. "She's Patchfoot's apprentice."

"Hello," Bouncefire purred to us as we padded up to him. "My siblings were telling me that you're their new friends."

"Yeah. I'm Nightkit," my brother said, puffing out his chest.

"And, my name is Lightningkit," I meowed.

"It's a pleasure to meet you," Bouncefire replied in a friendly voice.

Plumpaw echoed his greeting with a purr. I shot a shy glance at the grey she-cat.

Bouncefire nodded down at the thrush at his paws.

"I don't suppose you've had thrush before? Would you two like to try a bite?" he purred.

Its smell made my mouth water. I bent down and took a bite of the tender meat, and a jolt of delight ran through me at the wonderful taste.

"That's delicious!" I purred, swiping my tongue over my lips.

Nightkit took a bite as well and purred his agreement through his full mouth. While we were distracted with the bird, another warrior came padding up to us.

"How are you doing today, Brackenstorm?" a sleek black cat meowed, walking over to my father.

"I'm good," he replied. "Showing my kits around camp."

He raised his chin in pride as he swept his tail over me and Nightkit.

"Oh! I've heard a lot about you two. Lightningkit and Nightkit, right?" the black cat purred. "My name's Ebonyclaw. Your father and I go way back."

A flash of color in Ebonyclaw's fur caught my eye. A harsh, bright blue piece of fabric was wrapped all the way around her neck. I stared at the color in fascination as Ebonyclaw spoke to Brackenstorm about her successful hunting patrol for a moment longer before padding away.

"What was on Ebonyclaw's neck?" I blurted out as soon as she was out of ear-shot.

"It's called a collar. Cats that live with two-legs wear them," Brackenstorm meowed.

My brow furrowed. I had heard about two-legs, but not about cats living with them.

"Cats live with two-legs? What? Why?" Nightkit said, putting my thoughts to words as his green eyes went wide with surprise.

"They are called 'kitty-pets,'" Bouncefire said, and Plumpaw nodded along with him.

"Except for cats like Ebonyclaw, who live with their two-legs during the night. Those cats are called daylight warriors," Brackenstorm corrected, shooting Bouncefire a look.

Bouncefire's ears flicked a bit in embarrassment, but he nodded in agreement.

"Besides, not all two-legs are bad. Some are really nice. There are a lot of warriors in SkyClan that live with two-legs some of the time. Before you two were born, I used to be one of them," Brackenstorm continued.

I blinked.

"What?" I mewed, my face wrinkling up in confusion.

"My name was Billystorm then. My house-folk called me Billy. But, I took a full warriors name when I decided to join the Clan full time," Brackenstorm explained.

I stared at him, the words still not making sense.

"But, why did you want to live with them!" I meowed in a surprised voice. "You didn't want to live here with Mom? Or, with us?!"

My father furrowed his brow down at me.

"They loved me and took care of me. And, I cared about them like I do our clan-mates," he said. "I didn't want to leave them, but I chose to when I learned Leafstar and I were going to have you two. You two are the most important things in the world to me."

I nodded, the worry in my belly settling down. He wanted to be here. He wasn't going to leave us. However, Nightkit was still staring at him, seemingly not satisfied.

"But, could you hunt? Didn't they keep you locked inside?" Nightkit meowed.

"They let me out most of the time," Brackenstorm said.

"But-" Nightkit said in protest.

"Hush, that's enough," Brackenstorm meowed suddenly, rising to his paws.

I noticed that our conversation and drawn a few cats' glances. Brackenstorm loudly cleared his throat, and they looked away.

"Come on. I think this is enough exploring for one day," Brackenstorm said.

Nightkit and I meowed goodbyes to Briarkit, Lionkit, and Ravenkit as we padded away, heading back towards the nursery through the crowded camp.

 _"Kitty-pets kits!"_ a voice hissed from behind.

I whipped my head around, but I couldn't tell who spoke.

"Come on, Lightningkit," Brackenstorm called from over his shoulder.

His face was calm and his voice sounded steady and normal, but I noticed the fur on his back bristled in anger. I turned and followed my father away.


	4. Apprentices

"...SkyClan grows stronger with each passing moon. I am so proud to be your leader, and to watch this Clan grow and work together harmoniously," Leafstar meowed before bounding off Rockpile.

"I can't believe that Briarpaw, Lionpaw, and Ravenpaw get to be apprentices already," I complained with a heavy sigh to Nightkit as I watched my friends leave camp for the first time with their new mentors.

Briarpaw was practically skipping with happiness as she trailed after Harveymoon. Lionpaw had puffed his chest up to mirror Sparrowpelt's broad chested and broad shouldered figure. And, Ravenpaw was looking over at Petalnose intently.

As they padded away, my clan-mates began to disperse, but Nightkit and I lingered in the center of camp. I didn't want the excitement of the ceremony to be over yet.

"I know... And, we can't even leave camp yet," Nightkit meowed, his dark face crinkling in displeasure.

"Three more moons," I sighed.

"That's forever..." Nightkit complained, rolling his eyes.

I stood and stretched, digging my claws into the ground and yawning. I gave my pelt a shake and prodded Nightkit with my paw.

"Well no point in just sitting around and whining about it. The least we can do now is play rat-attack on Rockpile," I meowed.

Nightkit wrinkled his face again.

"No. I don't want to," he meowed, turning his face away.

"What? Why not?" I asked, my brow furrowed.

"It won't be fun anymore, without them," he huffed. "Lionpaw made the best rat-leader."

"I could be rat-leader, and you could be Firestar," I meowed temptingly.

"Then who's Leafstar? The game is dumb now," Nightkit said, rising to his paws.

"No, it's not," I argued.

"Play with Fallowfern's kits then," he meowed over his shoulder, trotting away.

"Seedkit and Creamkit haven't even left the nursery yet!" I yowled after him.

Nightkit didn't reply and bounded off across camp by himself.

I lashed my tail, watching my brother go.

_Fine. I'll play without him. I don't need Nightkit to have fun._

I turned and bounded towards Rockpile. I leapt up some of the boulders, stopping about halfway up the pile. My pelt prickled with excitement from the height as I turned to survey the camp.

_This is what it must be like for Leafstar to address the Clan._

I puffed out my chest and closed my eyes for a moment, imagining now that I was leader.

"Hey! Be careful up there!" a cat yowled.

My eyes flickered open and I saw one of the younger warriors, Sagewhisker, looking up at me, his face a bit concerned.

"I'm fine!" I yowled back, waving my tail at him.

I sprung straight to the ground, landing easily from the jump right in front of him.

"See?" I meowed smugly.

"Alright," he mewed, green eyes shimmering with amusement.

Sagewhisker trotted off and I watched him join a patrol with Egg, Minttail, and Patchfoot. They headed out, brushing through the undergrowth at the edge of camp.

I watched them go, curiosity swirling in my belly. My paws itched to follow them, to see what it was like beyond the gorge.

After a few heartbeats passed, I padded over to where they left, and I hesitated there, standing at the very edge of camp. I stared out at the gorge as it stretched on in front of me. Beyond the little patches of undergrowth at the edge of camp, the gorge continued, sandy cliffs on one side, the creek on the other, with a spattering of boulders and undergrowth in between. In the distance, where the patrol was now, the gorge and the stream made a sharp turn. I watched my clan-mates follow it and vanish out of sight. I held my breath slightly, my heart pounding in excitement. I cast a few glances left, and then a few glances right.

There were no cats in sight.

I lifted my paw to take a step.

_I shouldn't. I'm not supposed to leave camp._

I pulled back, but then my stomach suddenly swirled in determination.

_It'll only be for a moment... And, it'll sure show Nightkit!_

I lashed my tail as my jaw set stubbornly.

_He thinks it's not fun to play just with me?! Well I'll show him. I'll show him what he's missing out on._

I looked around again and this time, I gave into the urge and cautiously crept out of camp. I padded forward through the sandy gorge, the stream babbling cheerfully at my side. My eyes were wide as I took everything in as the clear order of the camp faded to be replaced by crumbling boulders and unruly undergrowth. My paws moving quickly, I turned the corner and breathed a sigh of relief when I was now safely out of sight of anyone in camp.

As I continued to walk down the gorge, the cliff walls got smaller as trees started to pop up around me, and soon I found myself in the edge of a forest. My jaw fell open in shock at how large the trees were. Some towered far higher than the cliffs of the gorge in camp. I craned my head back, trying to see the ends of them. It felt like their tallest branches must scrape the sky.

I breathed in deeply, the sweet scent of the forest and the scents of prey wreathing around me. Sunlight flickered down through the leaves and branches, warming my pelt.

_It's beautiful._

I wandered around, but I stayed close to the edge of the forest, not wanting to get lost in the unfamiliar trees. A fallen leaf got caught in the breeze, and it tumbled across the ground. I sprung at it, pinning it under my paws. Purring, I lifted my paws, and it blew away again. I chased after it, batting it repeatedly.

_I'm not letting this prey get away!_

After a while, the breeze died down, and the leaf stilled. I straightened, gazing around to see where the leaf had taken me. There was fallen log to my right, leaning against another tree at a low angle. It almost looked like it could be a perch where a leader sat to speak to their Clan. I padded over to it, scoring my claws down its side before springing up on to it and sitting down. I raised my chin, imagining this was my camp.

_I am Lightningstar, leader of ForestClan! Let all my warriors gather to hear my words!_

Then, a flash of movement caught my eye. I sprung back to my paws, my stomach clenching. A grey and white cat padded out of the bushes. He glanced up, and seeing me, walked over. I scanned his face with my gaze. I couldn't remember his name, but his board face seemed vaguely familiar, and he smelled of SkyClan. When I saw that his blue eyes were kind, I relaxed, settling back down, even though my tail twitched guilty that I had been caught sneaking out.

"Aren't you a little far from camp, little one?" the grey and white cat asked, springing up to sit next to me on the log.

I bowed my head, my ears hot with embarrassment.

"I'm sorry. I just wanted to explore a bit," I meowed, shooting him an imploring glance. "Please don't tell Leafstar!"

"It's dangerous out here," he warned, his brow furrowing slightly.

I scuffled my paws, sighing. I stared down at my feet, waiting for the incoming lecture.

"But... having a brave and curious soul isn't a bad thing," he continued, a soft purr entering his voice.

My ears pricked eagerly, and I glanced back up at him. Maybe I wasn't in trouble after all!

But, then my head jerked to the side as some bushes suddenly rustled nearby. Was it another clan-mate? Or prey?

While I was distracted by the noise, the grey and white cat's ears twitched, and he rose to his paws. Turning, he leapt off the log and padded back off into the undergrowth, vanishing into the forest as quickly as he had appeared. My brow furrowed as I studied the bushes where he'd disappeared.

"Where are you going?" I meowed curiously, springing off the fallen tree to follow him.

"Hey!" another voice called out from behind me, and I froze.

Shrewtooth came padding forward through the woods, a squirrel in his mouth.

"What are you doing out here?" he demanded.

"I'm sorry," I meowed, flattening my ears. "I know I shouldn't be out of camp."

"Of course you shouldn't," he grumbled.

Shrewtooth looked left and right like he was searching for something.

"Where's your brother? I have enough things to worry about and enough hunting to do without having to put looking for kitty-pet kits in the mix!" he said.

I bushed my fur out.

"I'm SkyClan's leader's kit! And Brackenstorm's! Not a kitty-pet!" I squeaked, anger swirling in my belly.

The scrawny black cat just glared at me in reply.

"And, Nightkit is still in camp," I meowed.

Without waiting for Shrewtooth to reply, I took off, running away from him and back towards the camp. I tore through the woods and down the gorge next to the stream, my heart racing and feet flying. Then, I burst through the ferns at the edge of the camp and came to a panting stop in the sand-covered center.

"Lightningkit!"

I flinched as I recognized my mother's voice.

"Where have you been?" Leafstar called, bounding over to me from the cliff, her blue eyes wide with worry.

"I left camp. I'm sorry. I know I wasn't supposed to," I meowed with a sigh, staring down at the ground instead of meeting her eyes.

Leafstar's brow furrowed.

"You could have gotten hurt!" she scolded. "Predators live in the forest! Foxes, badgers, even an eagle could easily snatch up a kit of your size!"

My stomach twisted, and I kicked some sand with my paws.

"I know. But, I'm okay! Shrewtooth found me and sent me back after I talked with..." My voice trailed off, and I furrowed my brow, thinking of the grey and white cat.

I still didn't know his name.

"Who?" my mother prompted.

"I forgot his name," I meowed sheepishly, glancing up at her.

Leafstar was still glaring down at me with a look of annoyance and concern, but at that she shook her head, giving a soft snort of amusement. My ears pricked I saw Shrewtooth slink into camp and drop his squirrel off at the fresh-kill pile, and my pelt prickled. I felt the same righteous indignation from earlier come back to nip at my paws.

_Should I tell her what Shrewtooth called me?_

"Shrewtooth—" I began.

Then, I remembered the tension in my father's bristling fur when someone else had used the word 'kitty-pet'... I didn't want to upset my mother like that.

"Yes?" Leafstar asked.

"Never mind," I muttered, looking away.

Then my eyes widened in fear as I was struck by another sudden thought.

"Will you delay my apprenticeship for this?" I gasped.

I gazed up at her, dread clenching at my stomach.

"...No," Leafstar said with a soft purr.

Relief washed over me like rain, and I relaxed, letting out a sigh of relief.

"Not for this one thing. But, you can't disobey me again, or you will have to be punished. Kits can't leave camp unsupervised," Leafstar meowed, her voice becoming stern. "The forest can be dangerous."

"Okay. I understand," I meowed, nodding vigorously.

"Good," she purred, softening again and giving me a nudge. "Now head up to the nursery. Nightkit is there waiting for you. He was wondering where you went."

Excitement rushed through me, and I bounded off towards the cliff with an eager purr. I had a lot of bragging to do to my brother!


	5. Harsh Lessons

My eyes flickered open, and my gaze was greeted with the sight of weak leaf-fall sunlight streaming into the den. I let my eyelids drift shut again, but only for a heartbeat before they snapped back open when I remembered what day it was.

_It's our apprentice ceremony!_

I sprung to my paws, an excited purr bursting from my throat. Nightkit shifted at my side, giving an unhappy grumble at my bump. Leafstar wasn't in the den, but she often left early to attend to her leadership duties. Fallowfern was here however, curled up against Creamkit and Seedkit a little ways away.

"Get up!" I mewed to Nightkit, unable to contain my excitement.

He groaned and didn't open his eyes.

"Leave me alone. Too early," he mumbled.

"Come on! Don't you want to be apprentices!?" I said, my tail waving in the air.

His eyes flew open.

"I almost forgot!" he gasped, shooting to his feet.

I purred with excitement, jumping around the den, kicking up moss. Creamkit stirred in her nest.

"What's going on?" the small cream and grey kit squeaked, peering up from over Fallowfern's flank.

Just then, Brackenstorm's head stuck into the den.

"Are you two ready?" our father purred, his green eyes shining.

I felt a sudden jolt of nervousness, and I quickly stopped my bouncing to rasp my tongue over my coat.

"Hold on! Do I look okay?" I meowed, peering up at Brackenstorm in concern.

"You're beautiful," my father purred in reply, bending his head down to nose me towards the entrance.

Nightkit shoved past me, cutting me off to run out of the den first.

"Hey!" I protested as his tail flicked my nose.

I shot after him as he bounded outside. We sprung down the cliff, paws flying easily down the cliff-side trail that we had ran so many times now while Brackenstorm followed more slowly. I sprung the final fox-length straight to the ground, landing with a soft _oomph._ Even though it was only morning, the camp was already busy and many cats bustled past us.

"Lightningkit!" a voice meowed behind me.

I turned to see Briarpaw come trotting over. I purred a greeting to her, which she returned.

"Today's the day, huh?" my friend said, her eyes lighting up.

"Yep!" I mewed excitedly, digging my claws into the ground. "I can't wait!"

"It'll be nice to have you back in the den," she meowed with a wink. "Ravenpaw and Lionpaw can be such bores."

"Hey!"

I purred as Lionpaw came indignantly bounding over, Ravenpaw close on his paws.

"We aren't boring!" he meowed, glaring at his sister.

"Oh please," Briarpaw rolled her eyes.

Ravenpaw crouched down, and giving a growl, she sprung at Briarpaw. Nightkit leapt back as the two of them tumbled his way.

"Help me, Lightningkit!" Briarpaw called as her sister crawled onto her back, giving her scruff a sharp nip.

I shot past Nightkit and barreled the two of them over with a purr. The three of us scuffled on the ground just like when we were all in the nursery together, kicking up dust. Nightkit padded over to Lionpaw.

"She-cats," Lionpaw huffed.

Nightkit nodded in agreement. The two began to chat about Lionpaw's training as I rolled my friends off and got up to quickly clean the sand off my pelt.

_Mouse-dung! I should've been more careful. Now I just have to groom myself again-_

"Practicing for battle training already?" Leafstar said with a purr of amusement as she came over, Brackenstorm at her side.

"Leafstar!" Nightkit meowed excitedly, bounding up to our mother.

"Are you ready?" she asked us.

I shook the last of the dust out my pelt.

"Of course!" I replied, springing back to my feet and padding over to stand in front of her.

"I'm so proud of you two," Leafstar said with shining eyes.

She bent her head to nuzzle us one more time.

"Come on, Mom," Nightkit complained, pulling back from her as she rasped her tongue over us.

"I just can't believe you're going to be apprentices already," Leafstar meowed, blinking hard. "You were so tiny only a few moons ago."

I pressed myself against her chest. She licked the top of my head again as Brackenstorm pressed against Leafstar's side. Then Leafstar shook her head with a soft purr.

"Alright then, let's go," she murmured.

Nightkit and I padded into the center of the camp as Leafstar bounded up Rockpile.

"Let all cats old enough to catch their own prey, gather beneath Rockpile for a Clan meeting!" Leafstar yowled.

The few cats that were left in the den trickled down from the cliffs at her call, while others quickly gulped down their last few bites of fresh-kill, before gathering together to sit in a semi-circle around me and Nightkit.

"Good luck," Brackenstorm purred down to us before he walked away to join our clan-mates, leaving just me and Nightkit alone in the circle of cats.

My tail quivered at the thought of so many eyes on me, but I kept my gaze fixed on Leafstar. She waited for the Clan to settle before speaking.

"Today we will preform the important ceremony of making new apprentices," Leafstar announced.

_"But, why can't we be apprentices now?"_

My ear twitched back as I heard Seedkit whine from behind me. Her mother shushed her. My heart hammering with excitement, I focused my attention back on Leafstar.

"Nightkit, Lightningkit," Leafstar continued, gazing down at us with shining eyes. "You have reached the age of six moons, and it is time for you to be apprenticed. From this day on, until you receive your warrior names, you two will be known as Nightpaw and Lightningpaw."

I felt a shiver run down my spine, and I lifted my chin. Leafstar turned to look at my brother.

"Nightpaw, your mentor will be Sharpclaw. I hope Sharpclaw will pass down all he knows on to you," Leafstar meowed.

_Sharpclaw!_

My eyes widened, and I turned to look at Nightpaw. He held his chin high, seemingly unfazed with being giving the intimidating deputy as his mentor. Sharpclaw stood from his spot at the foot of Rockpile and padded over to stand in front of Nightpaw. The huge tom towered over us.

"Sharpclaw," Leafstar continued. "You are ready to take on a new apprentice. You trained Cherrytail and Egg well, and you have shown yourself to be a brave and loyal deputy. You will be the mentor of Nightpaw, and I expect you to pass on all you know to him."

Leafstar paused to take a breath.

"Lightningpaw," Leafstar meowed, turning to look at me.

I gulped, my paws trembling with excitement as I awaited my new mentor.

"Your mentor will be Cherrytail. I hope Cherrytail will pass down all she knows on to you," Leafstar said.

The tortoiseshell and white she-cat padded over from the crowd to stand in front of me.

"Cherrytail, you are ready to take on a new apprentice. You had received excellent training from Sharpclaw, and you have shown yourself to be courageous and intelligent. You will be the mentor of Lightningpaw, and I expect you to pass on all you know to her," Leafstar meowed.

The ceremony concluded, Nightpaw and I leaned forward to touch our noses to our mentors.

"I'm going to try my hardest at everything," I whispered to Cherrytail, meeting her eyes intently.

"I'm sure you'll be great," she purred as she pulled her head back, and I felt a thrill of excitement in my chest.

Our clan-mates started to shout our new apprentice names.

"Nightpaw! Lightningpaw!"

I purred, my heart swelling with pride at the sound of my new name. Leafstar sat on Rockpile for a moment longer as the Clan chanted, the sun shining down on her tabby fur, and her face full of joy for us. Then she stood and nimbly bounded down Rockpile, indicating that the meeting was over. Briarpaw, Lionpaw, and Ravenpaw padded over to us to give their congratulations as our clan-mates started to scatter, heading off to perform their duties for the day. Cherrytail turned to me.

"How would you like a patrol of the territory as your first apprentice duty?" Cherrytail meowed, her bright green eyes kind.

"That would be great," I purred a bit shyly.

"Take Egg and Wolfshade with you. I'll be taking Nightpaw for hunting training," Sharpclaw added with a rumble.

I shot an excited glance at my brother. Nightpaw sat with his tail neatly wrapped over his white paws, but I could tell he was excited too by the tightness of his shoulders and the pricking of his fur.

"Egg! Wolfshade! Get your lazy tails over here!" Cherrytail yowled.

The two toms came trotting over from where they were talking on the other side of camp.

"Alright, we're coming!" Egg said as they padded up.

"There's no need to be rude," Wolfshade rumbled in a deep voice to Cherrytail, his tail-tip twitching. "You know, you can't boss me around. I'm not your apprentice anymore; Lightningpaw is."

"You may not be my apprentice now, but I can always boss you around," Cherrytail said with a good-natured purr, giving Wolfshade a shove.

The big tom screwed up his face in a serious scowl, but rumbled a quiet purr in reply.

"Alright, let's go!" Cherrytail meowed, leaping to her paws and bounding out of camp.

My eyes widened in surprise at how quickly Egg and Wolfshade shot after her. I took off, as close behind them as I could be. I had to move my paws faster than I'd ever had before to keep up with their long, loping strides. We tore through the sandy gorge, entering into the forest, where Cherrytail slowed us to a trot. I fell to the back of the patrol, trying to mask how heavily I was already panting, just from that one sprint!

"Can you scent any prey, Lightningpaw?" Cherrytail asked over her shoulder.

I opened my mouth and sucked in a deep breath of the sweet, cool forest air. The nutty scent of squirrel hit the back of my throat.

"There's a squirrel nearby," I answered.

"Good job," Cherrytail purred. "But, this isn't a hunting patrol, so we'll let that squirrel live another sunrise."

I was thankful for the slower pace as we padded on, and Egg and Wolfshade started to chat with each other. I was quiet, half-listening to their conversation about rats, while also gazing about and taking in the beauty of the forest. I hadn't been out here in moons, since the one time I snuck out. As I tilted my head back to peer up at the distant, high branches, a faint, but potent, scent drifted into my nose, making my lip curl at the strong, unpleasant edge.

"There's been a dog here," Egg said suddenly, raising his muzzle to draw in the air better.

_Oh. It's dog scent._

At the back of the patrol, I nodded in agreement at Egg's words. Cherrytail stopped us so she could scent the air better.

Wolfshade's whiskers twitched as he breathed in too.

"It's like a few sunrises old, though. Nothing to worry about," Wolfshade shrugged in reply.

"A few days? One day at the most," Egg scoffed, inhaling deeply again.

"What are you smelling? Do you have rabbit fur stuck in your nose?" Wolfshade meowed, straight-faced but with laughter in his eyes.

"I think you're the one with rabbit fur, because that scent is not that old!" Egg replied.

As Cherrytail moved the patrol forward again, the toms bantered on, arguing, and shoving each other when they disagreed. It was obvious the two knew each other well and were close friends. I turned my head to the side, ears pricking, as I faintly picked up the sound of some sort of prey scuttling under a leaf.

"What do you think, Lightningpaw?"

My head whipped back around in surprise. Wolfshade had turned the full force of his attention onto me and was looking at me with very intense green eyes. Egg peered down at me too, from over Wolfshade's shoulder, but I found his gaze much less intimidating.

"Um."

I swallowed, trying to gather my thoughts which had suddenly scrambled and scattered like a rabbit. I was surprised that the warriors had chosen to invite me into their conversation. I thought they had forgotten that I was there. I blinked, forcing myself to break my gaze from Wolfshade's gaze for a heartbeat so I could reply.

"The scent seems a few days old to me," I meowed, my eyes meeting with Wolfshade's again.

"See! Lightningpaw knows how to track," Wolfshade meowed triumphantly, turning on Egg.

"I think you both have rabbit fur in your nose," Egg grumbled.

"I think you're talking so much Egg, that all of the hunting patrols will come back bare-pawed because you scared all of the prey out of the territory," Cherrytail quipped from over her shoulder.

Wolfshade and I purred, while Egg fluffed his fur in embarrassment at being called out by the older warrior.

"Here's the edge of our territory. We've reached our first scent marker," Cherrytail meowed.

SkyClan's scent was like clear flowing rivers and musky oak trees, and it was strong here, marking the border. I took a seat, curling my fluffy tail over my paws and surveying the unfamiliar forest ahead.

"Why isn't that our territory?" I meowed. "Do other cats live there?"

"Not that I know of," Cherrytail replied, following my gaze out into the forest beyond the border. "But, we have plenty of prey and space in the territory we already have. There is no need to patrol and worry about something we don't need."

I nodded, understanding the wisdom in her words.

"Let's get going. There's a lot more territory that we have to patrol if we want to be back in camp before sundown," Cherrytail meowed.

_Sundown?! That's so long from now._

I looked up. The sun was clear and bright, right in the center of the sky.

Cherrytail, Egg, and Wolfshade turned away from me, walking away along the border.

I looked at Wolfshade's board, grey back. Determination surged over me and I clenched my jaw.

_I can't let them know I'm tired._

With a muffled sigh, I rose to my paws and bounded after them.

* * *

"Get something to eat before you head to bed," Cherrytail meowed to me as we trotted back into camp.

I nodded, my paws aching with exhaustion as I watched her head off to the warrior's den.

"You did a good job with keeping up with us today. I know the first day can be hard. Why don't the three of us share a mouse or two?" Egg meowed to me and Wolfshade.

My mouth watered in anticipation.

"That sounds great. But, can we make one a thrush instead?" I meowed, slowly following them over to the fresh-kill pile.

"I second that. Lightningpaw has better taste than you," Wolfshade said to Egg.

"Oh, put a mouse in it. Literally," Egg meowed, hooking a mouse off of the pile with his claw and tossing it at Wolfshade.

Wolfshade crinkled his nose in disappointment, looking down at the mouse Egg gave him as Egg passed me a thrush off the pile and chose another mouse for himself. I gazed over at the grey tom.

"You can have half my thrush if you want. As long as I get half your mouse in return," I meowed shyly to Wolfshade.

His green eyes lit up.

"Thanks. Hey, she's nicer than you too, Egg!" Wolfshade meowed.

Egg muttered something unintelligible through a mouthful of mouse. Wolfshade motioned for me to have the first bites, so I settled down next to the warriors and eagerly devoured my food.

The next morning, I padded out of camp behind Cherrytail as the sun rose on the gorge behind us. I yawned, fighting back the warm grasp of sleep. I gave myself a shake, and hopped up and down on my toes, trying to get the brisk leaf-fall air to wake me up. I had been exhausted after our patrol yesterday and collapsed right in my new nest in the apprentice den once we got back, but my dreams last night were tumultuous, plagued with storms and thunder, making my sleep restless. Then Cherrytail nosed me out of my nest before sunrise, and I was forced to leave the cozy den where Nightpaw, Briarpaw, Lionpaw, and Ravenpaw were still curled up and sound asleep inside.

"Today will be your first hunting lesson," Cherrytail mewed to me once we reached a clearing outside of camp. "Show me your hunter's crouch."

My fur bristled with excitement at the thought of my first hunt, and I suddenly felt wide awake. But, I repressed the excitement for now and slipped into the crouch. I'd spent many days practicing it with Brackenstorm during my kit-hood and the position came easily to me.

"Good," Cherrytail mewed, circling me. "But keep your tail still."

Cherrytail pinned my twitching tail with her paw.

"The movement will stir the leaves, alerting the prey of your presence. You have to hold your tail slightly off of the ground," she meowed.

"Like this?" I mewed.

I felt a little silly sticking my tail straight out behind me like a twig.

"Yes! Good," Cherrytail purred.

"Now stalk forward," she said.

I crept forward a few tail lengths.

"You're too stiff," Cherrytail meowed. "It's because you're trying to precisely hold yourself in the hunter's crouch while moving at the same time. You're trying to keep your form _too_ perfect."

She purred with amusement at the thought.

"It makes your movements stiff and jerky. Prey will hear that and know you're coming. Relax," she meowed, giving my side a nudge.

I tried to loosen my muscles, but my shoulders still felt too tight.

"Listen to the wind in the trees. Feel the dirt under your paws," Cherrytail advised, flexing her claws into the ground.

I copied her, digging my claws into the dirt, then sheathing them. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I felt the tension drain from my shoulders.

"Try again," Cherrytail prompted.

I crouched down and glided forward. My muscles were taunt but not tight, and every paw-step was easy.

"Well done! As smooth as a river," Cherrytail purred.

I straightened, pelt flushing with pride.

"Let's try it out on real prey now," Cherrytail meowed. "What can you scent?"

I lifted my muzzle, breathing in the cool air. I filtered through the scents of plants and cats, and a faint hint of owl, left over from the night, and then I found the scent of mouse.

"There's a mouse," I reported.

"Well, go find it," Cherrytail meowed.

I scented the air again, trying to pinpoint its source. It seemed to be strongest to my left. I crouched down and crept forward through the undergrowth, every sense alert for any sign of it. My ears pricked at the sound of faint scuffling. A little brown mouse poked its head out from under a leaf near the roots of an oak, and I froze, crouched under the shadow of a fern. The mouse scurried a tail-length, pausing to nose at the dirt, looking for food. I started to creep forward again, placing my paws down as lightly as the wind. The mouse continued to forge, oblivious to me creeping up on it from behind. I gathered my haunches under me, leg muscles tightening. I held my breath and remembered to keep my tail still just in time as I unsheathed my claws and leaped.

My paws smacked the tiny mouse body as I landed right on top of it. The mouse let out one faint squeak that was cut short when I gave it a quick nip. I raised my head, the prey dangling from my jaws, and a rush of pride filling my chest.

_My first catch!_

"Great job!" Cherrytail purred, appearing out of the bushes to pad over to me.

I raised my tail happily, a purr in my throat.

"Now, scrape some dirt over it so we can pick it up later, and then we'll see if we can find some more prey," Cherrytail mewed.

I dropped the mouse and was starting to bury it when a shrill shriek suddenly pierced through the morning air, reverberating through the forest. I jerked my head up, icy fear prickling down my spine at the sound of a cat in distress.

"Someone's in trouble," Cherrytail gasped, her shoulders tensing. "Let's go!"

My paws were already taking me forward, towards the source of the scream. Cherrytail was hot on my tail, and she soon passed me, her more muscular legs easily eating up the ground. We burst through the forest and found ourselves at the bank of the stream.

"There!" I gasped, worry flooding me.

A little ways upstream, Frecklewish was crouched right at the edge of the water. She had one leg drawn up close to her chest and a pile of herbs at her light tabby paws. Her eyes were wide as she stared at something in front of her. I saw what I thought was a branch, shift, then coil only a tail length away from her.

"Snake!" Cherrytail hissed, her lip curling up.

Icy fear stabbed at me at the word, but Cherrytail was already bounding towards Frecklewish, and I followed right behind her. Frecklewish's gaze flashed towards us.

"Don't come any closer!" Frecklewish said, her voice shrill as the snake drew even nearer to her.

Cherrytail and I froze, still a long ways away. The snake was huge: at least two fox-lengths long, and thicker than my legs, with bright orange eyes. I swallowed hard, my mouth suddenly dry.

"Get into the river, Frecklewish!" Cherrytail shouted. "It'll carry you downstream to us!"

"The snake's too fast! I can't!" she cried in reply, eyes fixated on the snake.

It hissed at her, a long forked tongue flickering. My heart hammered. I looked around frantically, trying to figure out a way we could help Frecklewish. My gaze rested on the stony stream bed under my paws.

"Cherrytail!" I hissed urgently. "Let's distract the snake so she can get away!"

I pawed a small stone loose from the bank of the stream and smacked it with my paw, sending it flying towards the snake. My aim was true from the many days I had played moss-ball with my brother, and the pebble hit the snake's scaly back. The strange creature whipped its head around to look at me. Cherrytail joined in, hitting a rock towards the snake herself. I picked up another stone, in my mouth this time, and tossed it towards the reptile, making contact with its side. It was hard to tell with its odd reptilian face, but I thought I saw anger spark in the snake's eyes.

"Come and get us!" I spat at the snake, arching my back at it and sending another rock flying its way.

The snake hissed again, this time at me, opening its mouth to show two long fangs.

"Frecklewish, now!" Cherrytail shouted.

Frecklewish hesitated, but only for a heartbeat, before she leapt into the stream while the snake wasn't looking. Her head disappeared under the surface for a moment, before reappearing, bobbing in the water. Her paws splashed frantically as she struggled to swim, and the whites of her eyes shown in fear. Cherrytail leapt into the water, preparing to intercept Frecklewish as she was swept towards us by the current. The snake's head turned, and, noticing that its prey was escaping, it began to slither toward the water.

My heart lurched.

"No you don't!" I yowled, dashing after it without thinking.

 _"Lightningpaw!"_ Cherrytail shouted.

Ignoring her warning, I leapt towards the back of the snake, getting just close enough to give the snake's tail a sharp nip before springing backwards and dashing far out of its reach. The snake whirled on me, giving up on its pursuit of Frecklewish to face me instead. I bent over to snatch up another stone in my jaws. This one was big, almost the size of my head, and it was heavier than I expected. My jaw started aching as soon as I fastened my teeth around it.

_It's too heavy for me to throw._

The realization brought with it a wave of icy fear that froze me to my core, also freezing my paws to the ground. Before I could decide what to do with the rock, the snake was slithering towards me, taking advantage of my distraction.

_Run!_

My legs jerked back into action. Heart pounding, I sprinted away, shooting towards the nearest tree, the stone still clamped in my jaws. I clawed up the trunk, but I only made it three or so fox-lengths when the weight of the stone became too heavy to bear. Panting around the rock in my mouth, I twisted my head to look down. The snake made it to the roots of the tree, and began to stretch its long body up the trunk after me. A shiver raced down my spine as its unblinking orange eyes stared deeply into my own.

My stomach lurched, cold running through my body as I weighed my options. I didn't know snakes could climb! I was about to become a meal unless I could get higher in the tree— No! Then the snake could just keep climbing and trap me there. I had to somehow sneak around it and get back to the ground—

I blinked, a new idea striking me.

I could drop the stone on the snake.

Fight instead of fleeing.

My paw pads were clammy. It was growing closer. No time left to think. I lined my head up with its head and opened my jaws.

The rock dropped straight down, crashing into the snake's skull. The snake fell to the ground, writhed once, then was still.

I didn't waste time investigating to see if the snake was actually dead or just stunned. My neck still aching and paws trembling in fear, I scrambled part-way down the tree, then sprung clearly over the reptile. As soon as my paws hit the ground, I sprinted as fast as I could, casting a quick glance over my shoulder to make sure the snake wasn't after me again.

"Lightningpaw!" Cherrytail called, her voice fearful.

"I'm okay!" I yowled through my pants, bursting through the undergrowth and dashing over to her.

She and Frecklewish were limping out of the stream, shivering and soaked. Frecklewish was leaning heavily against Cherrytail's shoulder, one foreleg still drawn up to her chest. Frecklewish's eyelids fluttered as she shifted position, pulling her foreleg slightly off of her chest, and revealing that it was severely swollen.

Cherrytail noticed it as soon as I did.

"Frecklewish!" Cherrytail gasped, gazing at her with fright.

"The snake bit me before you showed up," Frecklewish whispered.

Leaning on Cherrytail, she staggered a few more steps down the bank before she collapsed on to the ground, eyes half-lidded. I froze, my stomach twisting in terror and panic as she began to shake, foam gathering at the edge of her mouth. Her frightened eyes glazed over.

"Frecklewish!" I cried, nosing at her convulsing, tabby side.

"Get Echosong!" Cherrytail yowled to me.

I backed away, gazing with horror at Frecklewish for a heartbeat longer, before I forced my paws into motion. I turned tail and ran back to camp as fast as I could.

But, by the time I made it back to the stream with Echosong in tow, Frecklewish was already lying much too still. Cherrytail was hunched over her, legs stiff and eyes screwed shut. Echosong let out a cry and bounded forward, nosing at her apprentice's already cooling body. Frecklewish's eyes were still open, but they were empty, gazing out at nothing. I felt ill to my stomach as I clenched my jaw, grief squeezing my chest in an iron grip. Sinking my claws deep into the ground, I turned my head aside.


	6. The First Steps

Our camp was deeply subdued in the sunrises following the death of Frecklewish. It was like a dark fog hung over the heads of my clan-mates, slowing their paw-steps and muffling their voices. Echosong was the one that her death hit hardest. The poor white and silver tabby padded around with her head down, going through the motions of her medicine cat duties without her usual enthusiasm. My heart twisted in pity for her, even if she had always been a bit distant with me.

I was grooming myself in the weak leaf-fall sunlight next to Lionpaw when I heard Macgyver mention Frecklewish's name. My ears pricked up.

"...I heard Frecklewish's house-folk calling for her again today," he meowed to Ebonyclaw. "Those poor two-legs. They don't know what happened to her."

Ebonyclaw shook her head, heaving a sad sigh.

"Who cares what the two-legs think," Waspwhisker cut in. "We lost a medicine cat. All they lost was a kitty-pet."

Ebonyclaw's eyes blazed with sudden anger.

"Frecklewish was more than a kitty-pet!" Ebonyclaw hissed, leaping to her paws.

"Hey hold on—" Waspwhisker began.

"Frecklewish was just a much a part of this Clan as you are!" Ebonyclaw meowed.

Waspwhisker fluffed his fur out defensively.

"Of course I didn't mean it like that!" he meowed.

"After all we've done for you, you all still think that you're better than us daylight-warriors. You've always had," Ebonyclaw hissed, unsheathing her claws.

The cats around the clearing started to cast nervous glances at each other. Lionpaw tensed beside me. I noticed Shrewtooth curling his lip back, revealing long, gleaming fangs. The fur on Macgyver's and Harveymoon's backs were bristling as they sized up Waspwhisker from Ebonyclaw's side. Nettlesplash was growling softly, looking that he might come rushing to his father's, Waspwhisker's, defense.

"That's enough!" A stern voice cried out, and Sharpclaw came bounding between Ebonyclaw and Waspwhisker.

"Are you warriors or are you squabbling kits?" he rumbled.

He raked a stinging green gaze over the two cats, and they reluctantly sheathed their claws, casting their gazes down.

"What in StarClan's name is happening here?" Leafstar meowed, her voice icy as she appeared in the mouth of her den.

A tense hush fell over the Clan as she came bounding down the cliff with Brackenstorm at her tail. Her blue eyes fumed as she gazed about at my clan-mates, and I felt my own pelt prickle from the heat in her eyes. Then, turning, she bounded up Rockpile. Cats silently gathered around without her having to summon them. I padded closer, taking a seat between Sparrowpelt and Nightpaw, while Sharpclaw pointedly kept himself between Ebonyclaw and Waspwhisker.

Leafstar loudly cleared her throat.

"I know we are all still upset about Frecklewish's death," she meowed. "It was a terrible loss and an unexpected tragedy, but we all know the risks that come with Clan life."

Leafstar turned to look straight at Ebonyclaw.

"And, I understand that it hit you especially hard, Ebonyclaw, considering that you were Frecklewish's mentor when she was training to be a warrior," Leafstar meowed.

Ebonyclaw bowed her head, not meeting Leafstar's gaze.

"But, that is no excuse for this infighting," Leafstar continued, her voice lowering with anger. "How can we protect ourselves from the dangers outside of the Clan, when we are fighting among ourselves? We are supposed to be a team."

Around the camp, I saw cats' heads bow with embarrassment and shame.

"No one here is a kitty-pet," Leafstar continued, her commanding voice loud as she swept her gaze over all of us. "We are all SkyClan cats. I will not tolerate this arguing anymore. If someone feels like another cat is not performing their duties adequately for some reason, they will report to me or Sharpclaw. No more name calling. And, as for you two..."

Ebonyclaw and Waspwhisker scuffled their paws in the sand as Leafstar turned her full attention on to them. Leafstar's eyes flashed as she gazed at them, and she stiffened.

"You two are acting like kits. So, until you can remember how to be warriors that respect and cooperate with their clan-mates, you will be treated as apprentices. You can start by changing the elder's bedding."

Waspwhisker's jaw fell open.

"What?" he said, his voice screechy with indignation.

"In addition," Leafstar said, continuing as if he hadn't spoken. "I want everyone to be on the alert for snakes, at least until it becomes colder, and they go away for leaf-bare. The snake that killed Frecklewish is dead thanks to Lightningpaw's and Cherrytail's quick thinking, but we can never be too careful."

Then she bounded down from Rockpile, signaling that the meeting was over.

"I can't be an apprentice again!" Waspwhisker whined to Fallowfern, who had padded up to his side.

Fallowfern was meowing something to her mate, as their younger kits Creamkit and Seedkit bounced around their paws.

"Don't worry, Waspwhisker, Seedkit and I can help with the elder's bedding!" Creamkit squeaked.

Sharpclaw padded over to Waspwhisker to meow something at him. Waspwhisker didn't seem happy, but he slowly got up and climbed to the elder's den. I watched as Ebonyclaw reluctantly followed.

"Don't you think Leafstar is being a bit harsh on them?" Sparrowpelt meowed to Cherrytail as she padded over to where I was sitting with him and Nightpaw.

"No," Cherrytail snorted. "She needed to make an example out of them if she wants the other mouse-brains calling each other kitty-pets to fall in line. And, she's right. They are acting idiotic."

"I suppose you have a point," Sparrowpelt meowed, tilting his head to the side.

Then he turned to me.

"I didn't know you killed that snake," Sparrowpelt said, blinking kindly. "Well done."

I scuffled my paws at the praise while my ears warmed with embarrassment from his attention. 

"Thank you, but Cherrytail helped," I said.

"Don't let her fool you," Cherrytail said. "She's the one that dropped a huge rock on it."

Sparrowpelt rumbled a brief purr while my mentor's eyes gleamed with pride. My pelt flushed even warmer, and I mumbled something in a voice too soft to be intelligible.

"It was brave," Wolfshade added, his deep voice rumbling in his chest as he padded over to us.

I ducked my head as my stomach flipped. I almost wished Leafstar hadn't said anything about it, so I didn't have to deal with all of this attention from the warriors!

"No, not really," I mumbled, shaking my head. "My clan-mate was in danger. I was just doing what any cat here would have done. And, I didn't feel brave. I felt terrified."

Wolfshade just blinked his green eyes at me in reply. I felt my embarrassment fade to be replaced by a stab of pain and regret as an image of Frecklewish's stiff body and glazed eyes flashed in my mind. I sighed, looking away from Wolfshade.

"I just wish Cherrytail and I were a bit faster. Maybe then Frecklewish would have been okay," I muttered, bitterness creeping into my voice.

"We did all we could, Lightningpaw," Cherrytail meowed, her eyes softening as she looked at me.

Nightpaw gave my side a gentle shove. I looked up at him. Nightpaw murmured a soft purr before standing and padding away. I blinked at him as I watched him go, grateful for his comfort even if he couldn't make himself express it in words.

"Well there is no sense in sitting around and moping all day," Cherrytail meowed briskly, shaking her pelt like she was trying to snap herself out of the gloomy fog.

She turned to me.

"How about we do some battle training?" she asked.

I nodded and stood.

"Good idea," Sharpclaw said, padding over.

He touched noses with Cherrytail, and I blinked in surprise at the display of affection.

"Also, take Harveymoon, and his apprentice, Briarpaw. And, Ravenpaw and Petalnose," Sharpclaw said, scanning the warriors around camp.

"And, Wolfshade," he said, nodding to the nearby dark grey warrior.

Wolfshade dipped his head in acknowledgement.

"And, Minttail. And, Rabbitleap," he finished.

"Maybe tiring the young warriors out with training will keep them from being at each other's throats," Sharpclaw growled cynically.

"I'll make sure they're good and tired alright," Cherrytail said, some of her normal fire returning to sparkle in her green eyes.

"Good. Because you're in charge," Sharpclaw purred, standing and walking away.

We rounded up the cats Sharpclaw named, and our large patrol headed out of camp and towards the mossy training hollow. I padded with Briarpaw on one side and Ravenpaw on the other. I didn't feel as excited at the prospect of the training as I would've a different day. My paws dragged on the ground, and my tail hung limp behind me.

"Have you done any battle training yet?" Briarpaw meowed to me as we padded through the forest.

"A little. I did some training a few sunrises ago after my first hunting trip. And, after Frecklewish... you know."

My voice trailed off. Briarpaw was silent, only letting out a quiet sigh and shaking her head.

"Well don't worry. We'll go easy on you," Minttail suddenly meowed from over her shoulder. "It's really a miracle that you made it out unscathed from that fight with the snake. I would've thought that as snake as big as that would have just eaten you right up."

My brow furrowed at her snooty tone, and I fluffed my fur out a bit.

_And, how many snakes have **you** fought, Minttail?_

"Pay no attention to her. Just because she's a warrior, Minttail thinks she knows everything," Briarpaw whispered into my ear, her whiskers brushing my cheek as she leaned in close so the grey tabby she-cat couldn't overhear.

"I don't know what Wolfshade sees in her," Ravenpaw snorted from my other side, her voice low as well.

_Wolfshade?_

I glanced up to see that the two grey warriors were walking rather closely together. I couldn't help but feel a small flash of annoyance at the sight. A shame; I was starting to rather like Wolfshade.

"Well, Minttail's nice sometimes..." Briarpaw muttered to Ravenpaw in a weak defense.

Ravenpaw just arched a brow at her sister.

We finally made it to the mossy hollow, where Cherrytail divided us into groups, one for warriors and one for apprentices. Wolfshade, Rabbitleap, Minttail, and Harveymoon would pair off and practice together, while Ravenpaw, Briarpaw, and I practiced. Cherrytail and Petalnose would supervise us first, but switch out with Harveymoon after a while so that they could have some battle training themselves.

"We'll begin with some unstructured sparring to get a sense for your strengths and weaknesses before we practice any specific techniques," Cherrytail meowed to us.

I nodded, and I could sense my den-mates straightening next to me as they prepared themselves.

"Lightningpaw, since you are less experienced, it'll be you and Ravenpaw against Briarpaw," Cherrytail continued, giving a nod to me. "Claws sheathed of course. If a cat is pinned for more than five heartbeats, then the battle is over, and the other cat wins."

She paused to look at us to make sure we understood.

"Ready?" she asked.

I crouched down, my paws a bit sweaty from nerves. For a heartbeat, anxiety swirled in my belly when my thoughts drifted to all of the other cats here in the mossy hollow, and how they could be watching me.

"Begin!"

Then there was no more time to worry when Briarpaw pounced at me right away, logically seeing me as the weaker target. But, I was quick on my paws, and I dodged out of the way in time. Briarpaw's paws struck empty dirt, and Ravenpaw was able to spring and get a few swipes at her sister's face as she recovered from her miss. As Briarpaw turned to Ravenpaw, I came at her exposed other side, landing a few blows myself.

Briarpaw let out a huff of frustration and whirled on me. I recoiled in surprise at her speed. She was a lot faster now than when we were kits. She landed a sharp blow on my head with her paw, then another, and another. I crouched under the barrage, my ears stinging, unsure of where to turn.

"Use your speed!" Cherrytail yowled to me.

Finally, I sprung backwards quickly, breaking free from her attacks. As Briarpaw lunged after me, Ravenpaw leapt into the air, twisted and landed on Briarpaw's back, latching on to her fur. Briarpaw nipped at her, but she was stuck firmly; Ravenpaw had her paws tangled deep in Briarpaw's thick brown pelt. While Ravenpaw clung to Briarpaw, throwing Briarpaw off balance, I leapt, barreling right into Briarpaw's side. She tumbled over and Ravenpaw quickly scrambled on top of her shoulders to pin her down, while I moved to hold down her flanks.

"Well done! Ravenpaw and Lightningpaw are the winners," Cherrytail meowed, her voice cheerful.

But, my stomach just twisted in disappointment as Ravenpaw and I got off of Briarpaw's flanks, letting her up. As my den-mate shook the dust off her pelt, I padded over to my mentor, dragging my paws on the moss.

"What's wrong?" Cherrytail asked, seeing my crestfallen face.

I sighed, taking a heavy seat in the dirt next to her.

"I did bad," I muttered, my tail twitching. "Ravenpaw did all the work. I had no idea how to fight Briarpaw."

Cherrytail swept her tail over my back in a comforting gesture.

"They've had three more moons of training than you have. You'll learn. Here, let me show you the first steps to the move Ravenpaw used to leap on to Briarpaw. That's a good one to use on enemies larger than you," Cherrytail meowed.

She got up to pad over to the corner of the mossy hollow, flicking her tail at me to indicate for me to follow. As I watched her go, I felt some of my disappointment fade to be replaced with a feeling of frustration and grief.

It wasn't fair that Frecklewish had died so young. But, she had been helpless in the face of the snake's attacks, just like how I was clueless about how to fight Briarpaw.

I sunk my claws into the ground, a burning determination filling me.

_I will become the best fighter I can be._

Frecklewish's tabby face flashed into my mind.

_So I can protect my clan-mates. So that no other cat I care about will die._

I rose to my paws, shaking my pelt as if I could shake off my sadness. Then I clenched my jaw in determination, and I bounded after my mentor, ready to learn.


	7. The Gathering

I could see the full moon hanging brightly in the lower part of the sky from my perch in the mouth of the apprentice den. Below me, cats were mingling around camp, waiting for Leafstar's call for the Gathering. My paws trembled with excitement as I kneaded my claws into the sand. This would be my first Gathering ever, and my heart quickened at the thought of finally being able to participate in the sacred tradition. 

It had been almost a moon since Frecklewish's death, and slowly things were starting to go back to normal as cats began to push their grief aside. Waspwhisker and Ebonyclaw had been on apprentice duties for a while, but they were allowed to return back to warrior's duties some paw-ful of sunrises ago. It was clear that the two were still plenty prickly towards each other, but as far as I could tell, there had been no more arguments about kitty-pets, by them or anyone. I could see their pelts both down in camp right now. There was some distance between the two of them, but they were calmly tolerating one another.

My ears pricked as I heard paw-steps behind me, and Nightpaw emerged from the apprentices' den. I followed him down the trail into camp, my paws scrambling on the small loose pebbles. I held my tail high with eagerness.

"Are you ready for our first Gathering?" I meowed excitedly to his back once our feet reached the gorge floor.

Nightpaw cast me a glance from over his shoulder and wrinkled his nose.

"So, we get to sit on Skyrock and freeze our tails off for a while. What's the big deal?" Nightpaw meowed, giving a shrug.

I blinked at him in surprise.

"It's a sacred ceremony that the Clans have done for generations," I said, taken aback.

Nightpaw shrugged again, arching a brow.

"And, I bet it's _a lot_ more interesting back in the forest, where you actually get to see and talk to the cats from the other Clans," Nightpaw meowed. "We just get to sit around and see everyone, who we see everyday anyways."

"It'll still be fun!" I insisted.

Nightpaw just twitched his ears and padded away from me to sit next to Sharpclaw. I gave a soft, discontented growl.

"When did you become no fun?" I muttered to Nightpaw's back, my tail twitching.

"That's what happens to siblings sometimes," Sagewhisker's voice suddenly cut in as he padded up to me.

I jumped in surprise at his appearance, and my fur flushed with embarrassment.

"Sorry. I didn't mean for anyone to hear that," I muttered, shuffling my paws.

Sagewhisker purred, his pale green eyes kind.

"It's alright. Don't worry, I won't tell Nightpaw," he said in a hushed voice, leaning in confidentially.

I purred in amusement.

"Thanks," I meowed.

I gave him a tail-wave of goodbye as I padded away to greet Lionpaw and Briarpaw, who were waiting near Rockpile. They greeted me with purrs, but we had only a few moments to chat before my mother rose to her paws.

"It's time," Leafstar meowed, holding her chin high.

She walked over to the cliff to follow the path that led up to Skyrock. I rose to my paws, my tail waving eagerly as I fit myself into the group of cats that were gathering behind her. Almost everyone in the Clan followed her up the narrow trail; the only cats left behind were Fallowfern, her kits, and Lichenfur, who complained that her bones were feeling too achy to make the climb up to Skyrock tonight.

The stone felt cool beneath my paws as we padded up the steep path. There was the sheer cliff on one side of me and a sharp edge on the other. Loose dirt crumbled under my claws as we climbed, and for a little while the path became so narrow that we had to walk single file.

I peered down over the steep edge as we climbed higher. The river rushed below us like a black snake, and it was framed with large, pointed fang-like rocks.

 _No wonder kits aren't allowed to go to the Gathering_ , I thought with a shiver, gazing at the jagged rocks stretching hungrily up from the ground far below.

I turned my gaze back forward. Wolfshade's broad grey back was in front of me, and he turned his head to look back at me as we approached Skyrock.

"There is a big jump to get onto Skyrock," Wolfshade rumbled, his eyes flashing with the warning.

I raised my chin.

"I can handle it," I meowed, my muscles already tensing in anticipation.

He gave one nod and turned his head back forward. I stretched onto my toes to look over his tall form. Leafstar had reached the area where the cliff fell away. I held my breath as I watched my mother crouch down, then leap, sailing over the gap of nothingness effortlessly, and landing safety on Skyrock on the other side. I breathed out, awe prickling me at the ease that she cleared it with.

One by one, my clan-mates followed her, until finally it was Wolfshade's turn, and then mine. I kept back to give him plenty of room. The dark tom crouched, fluffing his thick fur up. Then he took a few quick steps and leaped. For a heartbeat, it almost looked like he was flying. His fur was slicked back by the wind like a diving bird's feathers as the breeze seemed to carry him across the gap. Then Wolfshade was back on the earth, his paws on Skyrock with tail-lengths to spare from the edge. He shook out his ruffled coat and looked back to blink at me from the other side.

"Good luck," I heard Sagewhisker meow from behind me.

I twitched an ear back to let him know that I heard.

I crouched down, just like Wolfshade had.

_Don't think about how far down the ground is. I've jumped plenty of gaps this big before._

I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath as I tried to quell the bit of nervousness that twitched in my chest.

Then I snapped my eyes back open.

I bounded forward for a few steps before leaping out into the air and sailing over the edge of the cliff.

Wind whipped through my fur. My heart hammered in my chest, and for a moment, it felt like I hung suspended in the air like the moon. I wasn't sure if I would continue forward, or just pummel straight down, impaled by the rocks' fangs—swallowed by the maw of the earth.

Then my paws hit the other side, and I stumbled onto Skyrock, a safe several tail-lengths from the edge.

Panting slightly, I lifted my head, and my eyes met with Wolfshade's. He gave a single nod of approval, green eyes glinting in the starlight. I raised my head and tail, my eyes shining.

"Well done!" a cat purred from behind me.

I turned away from Wolfshade to see that Sagewhisker had successfully made the jump after me.

"There must be plenty of Old SkyClan blood in you, with a jump as big as that!" he said.

"Thank you!" I meowed, pelt fluffing with pride at the compliment.

"Not in me, though," he added, his ears twisting back a tad regretfully.

"You made the jump just fine too," I protested, tilting my head to the side in confusion.

Sagewhisker gave a small sigh.

"Yeah, but I still know I don't have it," he said. "I tried to prove that I did as an apprentice by jumping from ledge to ledge on the cliff. I ended up falling and breaking my leg."

I winced in sympathy.

"Oh... I'm so sorry," I meowed.

Sagewhisker waved off my concern with a flick of his tail.

"Don't worry about it," he said. "My leg is as good as new now, thanks to Echosong. And, I've learned to accept that I'll never jump as well as some of our other clan-mates."

My brow furrowed as I thought about our many other clan-mates who didn't have the stereotypical SkyClan form of board-shoulders and powerful hind-legs. It shouldn't matter that they couldn't jump as well as the ones who did! They were still valuable to SkyClan.

"That doesn't really matter though. I'm sure you can do other things better than them," I said. "I bet you're faster. Oh! Or, you can climb trees higher than them! Could you imagine a cat of Sharpclaw's size trying to balance on a tiny, narrow branch?"

Sagewhisker purred, blinking at me kindly.

"I hadn't really thought about it like that before," he meowed. "Thanks, Lightningpaw."

I nodded, before turning away from Sagewhisker to watch as Nightpaw now approached the gap.

My brother's eyes narrowed in concentration as he crouched, then sprung. Nightpaw cleared the jump as easily as I did, and I felt a rush of relief and pride.

"Good job," I purred to my brother as he trotted over to me.

His eyes gleamed with pleasure.

"Thanks," he meowed, slicking his whiskers back with a flash of his paw.

I waved my tail in goodbye to Sagewhisker, and I walked with Nightpaw over to Ravenpaw, Briarpaw, and Lionpaw. We took a seat together, waiting for the gathering to start.

"So how does this work?" I meowed to Briarpaw, glancing around curiously at my clan-mates, who sat in loose groups that formed a ring on Skyrock.

"Leafstar will start and speak first," she meowed. "Then, Echosong usually says something, and then maybe Sharpclaw, but then the rest of us can say anything that we want the whole Clan to know."

I nodded, feeling a jolt of relief. I had been worried that everyone would have to participate, and the thought of talking in front of nearly all of my clan-mates was more than a tad terrifying.

Leafstar took a seat. Her light brown pelt seemed to glow in the moonlight, and the stone beneath her had turned to silver under the stars.

"Let the Gathering begin," Leafstar meowed.

My clan-mates quieted and settled down, everyone turning to look at her.

"This moon brought SkyClan tragedy with the death of Frecklewish, but I know she is looking down at us from StarClan. And, I am grateful to StarClan that the rest of this moon was spent in peace," Leafstar said, raising her gaze up to Silverpelt for a moment.

She looked back down, turning her glowing gaze now on my clan-mates.

"I'd like to thank all of you for getting along, and how well you've cooperated towards the end of this moon," she said, flashing a glance at Waspwhisker and Ebonyclaw.

The two of them bent their heads rather sheepishly.

"Echosong, do you have anything to say?" Leafstar asked, inclining her head at the medicine cat.

The dainty grey and white tabby stepped forward.

"I miss Frecklewish with every passing day, but I know she is watching us in StarClan," Echosong meowed, casting her gaze upwards to search Silverpelt.

Then she lowered her head and cleared her throat.

"There have been no sicknesses this moon, but I want to remind everyone that with leaf-bare approaching, to keep on the look out for coughs," she meowed before sitting, signally that she was done.

Sharpclaw stood as soon as Echosong sat back down, not waiting for Leafstar to motion to him.

"Echosong is right. Leaf-bare is approaching. We need to start stocking up on prey while we still can so we have our strength when the cold hits," Sharpclaw meowed.

Leafstar nodded in agreement with her deputy as he sat again.

"Now does any other cat have anything to say?" Leafstar asked.

Cherrytail stood.

"I would like to commend my apprentice, Lightningpaw. She showed great bravery and quick thinking when she fought the snake," Cherrytail meowed.

My heart jolted when Cherrytail said my name, and I felt my fur flush as every cat turned to look at me.

"That's amazing."

"So young too."

"She'll be a warrior as fine as her mother."

My clan-mates purred praise at me, and I ducked my head, feeling my pelt prickle uncomfortably from all of their attention. Among the voices, I head Brackenstorm's. I turned to see him purring happily at me, his gaze bright. Lionpaw gave me a friendly nudge.

"You're such a show-off," Lionpaw teased under her breath. "You're making the rest of us apprentices look bad!"

"Oh, shut up," I purred, shoving him back. "I didn't ask for this!"

Leafstar's eyes gleamed with pride as my clan-mates complimented me.

"Anyone else want to report anything?" she asked.

Not one to be out-done, Sharpclaw got back onto his feet.

"I would also like to congratulate Nightpaw. On a recent hunt, he caught the biggest rabbit I've ever seen," Sharpclaw boasted. "It was about as big as him!"

"Well done, Nightpaw."

"Woah!"

"Really?"

My clan-mates now turned to my brother. He fluffed his coat out and sat up straighter, his green eyes pleased.

Cherrytail's eyes gleamed, catching the scent of competition in the air.

"Oh, yeah? Well, Lightningpaw caught _three_ mice the other—"

"That's enough you two," Leafstar meowed to Cherrytail and Sharpclaw, waving her tail for them to stop.

But, there was amusement in her voice, and I could see her gaze shimmering with pride for me and my brother.

"Does _someone else_ have something to say?" Leafstar asked, arching a brow.

"The patrol I led chased two rogues out of our territory at our southern border a little while ago," Sparrowpelt meowed, rising to his paws, his tone markedly more serious than his sister's was. "They were hostile and stealing prey. Then I picked up their scent again yesterday. Keep a look out for those two. It was a ginger female and a black-and-white male."

Leafstar nodded.

"Thank you Sparrowpelt. Everyone should stay on the alert for unfamiliar scents, and report to me or Sharpclaw if these rogues are seen again," she said.

"Oh, there was also some fox scent near our border at two-leg place," Clovertail meowed, lifting her tail. "The daylight warriors might want to be careful when leaving or entering our territory there."

"Good point. Thank you Clovertail," Leafstar meowed with a dip of her head to Clovertail.

The tabby queen nodded, and silence fell over the group again.

"Does any other cat have anything to report?" Leafstar asked, looking around.

The Clan remained silent.

"Alright. Then this Gathering is over," Leafstar meowed. "Thank you everyone for your news, and let us give thanks to our ancestors for their guidance for this past moon."

She took a moment to cast a final glance upwards towards the stars, before rising to her paws, padding to the edge of the ledge and leaping off of Skyrock. Cats began to trickle after her, but I remained sitting. I wanted to linger on Skyrock for a while longer. My ears twitched I watched my clan-mates following Leafstar, springing off Skyrock and heading back down the narrow trail to camp.

"Aren't you coming?" Nightpaw asked, hesitating at the edge of Skyrock when he noticed I wasn't behind him.

"In just a moment," I meowed. "I wanted to appreciate the view for a little bit longer."

Nightpaw nodded. He turned and sprung off Skyrock, following the rest of our clan-mates back to camp.

I rose to my paws finally, but rather than heading to the edge of Skyrock where the trail was, I padded over to an adjacent side to peer down at the ground of the gorge, far below. 

_We are so high._

I closed my eyes, breathing in the cool night air. As my clan-mates drew further away, a hush fell over Skyrock. I could hear the dripping of water down the cliff to the river, and the sighing of the wind across the stone. I flickered my eyes open again to sweep my gaze over the gorge. The sandy cliffs, reddish rocks, and black river were below me. And, on the other side of the gorge, on top of the cliffs, a dark forest rose, framed by an indigo sky filled with twinkling stars. I turned my head to look at the grasslands behind me and the dark two-leg place in the distance, and I was startled to see the silhouette of another cat on Skyrock. I jumped up, my pelt prickling.

"I'm sorry," I meowed. "I didn't realize anyone else was still here."

The cat padded towards me, and, as he came closer, I realized it was Wolfshade.

"I didn't want to disturb you. I'm on guard duty for the night," he explained.

"You really can see the whole territory from here, can't you?" I said, my mew tinged with awe as I looked out over the gorge again.

Wolfshade nodded, coming over to stand at my shoulder.

"It's beautiful," I whispered, my gaze searching the landscape.

"It is," he agreed in a rumbling voice.

I glanced over at him. He was silently gazing out over SkyClan's territory, the purples and blues of the night reflecting back in his dark eyes.

"Well... I should probably get going before Nightpaw begins to wonder where I am," I said.

I gave Wolfshade a nod of farewell and took a few steps back towards the trail. But then, behind Wolfshade, my gaze caught a flicker of movement, and I saw a silhouette of another cat, standing at the far end of Skyrock. Their eyes reflected the light of the full moon, glowing softly as they watched me. My brow furrowed. I looked back at Wolfshade.

"Is he on guard duty too?" I asked.

Wolfshade twisted his head to look over his shoulder. His ears flattened in confusion.

"Who?" he meowed.

I turned and looked again. I swept my gaze over the entire rock, but there was no silhouette. Skyrock was empty except for me and Wolfshade. My brow furrowed in puzzlement, and my stomach flipped.

"I-I—"

I blinked hard.

"I swear I saw someone else... But, the shadows must be playing tricks on my eyes," I meowed, giving my head a shake.

I forced a purr.

"I must be more tired than I think I am," I meowed.

Wolfshade nodded, but my pelt prickled as I felt the heat of his gaze on me, watching me curiously.

I tried to keep my body language relaxed as I padded to the edge of Skyrock, doing my best to hide the fact that my eyes were still scanning the large, flat area around us and that my muscles were all tight with unease. But, there was still no-one else here.

_Was it a rogue? Or, a clan-mate? But, how would they have gotten on Skyrock without me or Wolfshade noticing? It's impossible..._

I shook my head again.

_...It must have been nothing. A trick of the moonlight._

I forced it out of my mind.

"Goodnight Wolfshade," I meowed from over my shoulder.

He gave me another nod.

I turned and sprung across the gap. I landed safely on the trail on the other side and padded away, leaving Wolfshade alone with the night.


	8. Fighting Practice

I followed my brother out of camp and towards the mossy hollow. Nightpaw's eyes gleamed as he strode forward. I matched his pace, step for step, and I noticed his shoulders were a bit higher than my own now. I frowned, disconcerted at this new development, and stretched up onto my toes slightly so our heights were equal again.

"Are you two ready for some battle practice?" Cherrytail meowed as she walked ahead of us, Sharpclaw at her side.

"Yes," Nightpaw meowed, his eyes flashing with anticipation again.

"You better watch out," I meowed to him teasingly. "It's not going to be as easy for you as it was when we were kits. I've gotten really good."

"I'll still win," he said with a confident purr, arching a brow at me.

"You wish, mouse-brain!" I exclaimed, bounding ahead so I could race in front of the mentors and be the first to enter the mossy training hollow.

The sound of Nightpaw's steps were close behind me.

I whipped around to face my brother with an eager snarl as he came bounding in after me. He sprung, knocking me over, and the two of us went tumbling across the mossy hollow. I growled playfully, scrabbled my paws at his side, nipping at his tail while he tried shoving my face into the ground.

"That's enough you two!" Cherrytail chided as she and Sharpclaw entered the hollow.

"We're doing real battle training. Stop acting like kits!" Sharpclaw said with a deep meow, his tail twitching.

At the sound of Sharpclaw's voice, Nightpaw quickly scrambled off of me and shot me a glance, like it was all _my_ fault that we got scolded by our mentors. I let out an exasperated huff and lolled my tongue out at him. Nightpaw's gaze narrowed, and he looked like he was only a heartbeat away from leaping at me again.

"Show me your upright lock move," Sharpclaw meowed, pulling our attention back to him as he sat and wrapped his tail around his paws.

My brow furrowed as I played through the motions of the upright lock in my mind. It was a difficult move.

_Sharpclaw's probably trying to punish us for playing around!_

I twitched my tail in concentration. Then I crouched, before rearing back on my hind legs. I balanced like that for a heartbeat before I brought my forepaws slamming down on an imaginary opponent. Hardly a moment later, I heard Nightpaw's paws slam the ground the same way mine did.

"Good," Sharpclaw meowed, narrowing his eyes at us. "Again."

Sharpclaw had us running drills all afternoon until my paws ached. We did the upright lock more times than I bothered to count with each time, Sharpclaw telling us to be faster, or hit harder. Then we moved to different slashes and different dodging techniques. _Then_ the deputy had us string moves together in increasing complicated combinations that left me panting.

"Good," Sharpclaw meowed finally, after Nightpaw and I finished demonstrating a difficult spring, upright lock, dodge, slash combo.

I was panting, my tail flagging in exhaustion from the incessant training as evening began to set in. Nightpaw looked just as worn out as I felt, his whiskers drooping.

"Now we can head back to camp," Sharpclaw meowed, and my ears perked up. "... As soon as you two demonstrate that you remember what we've taught you today. Against a real opponent."

I bit back a sigh. Cherrytail nodded at me and Nightpaw.

"You will fight each other. We will announce that the practice is over when we are satisfied," Cherrytail meowed.

I turned to face Nightpaw. His tired eyes met mine, but he squared his shoulders in determination. I lashed my tail, raising my chin as I too tried to summon some energy.

"Got it?" Sharpclaw meowed.

Nightpaw and I both gave a curt nod.

"You may begin," Sharpclaw said.

At first, neither of us attacked. Instead, we just slowly circled each other. I narrowed my eyes at my brother, watching each of his movements carefully. His muscles rippled under his short black pelt. I knew he was stronger than me. I would have to rely on my speed in order to win. Which would be difficult considering how tired I was.

But, I summoned my strength, and without warning, I flashed forward with a downward strike from my forepaw. Nightpaw pulled backward, but he wasn't quick enough to dodge the strike entirely— my paw still batted off the top of his muzzle. Now, he sprung forward, forepaw flashing in a blow. I ducked it, pivoting around him. Then I sprung into the air, twisting and landing on his shoulders, my jaws snapping as I bit down on his scruff.

Nightpaw shook his pelt, trying to knock me off, but I dug my paws into his fur stubbornly. He dropped to his knees, and I realized what was happening just in time to leap off, before he rolled. I landed heavily on the ground, a sharp breath jolting out of me, but I managed to whirl back around in time to see how I would have been crushed under him. Nightpaw got back on his feet with lightning speed, turning to rear up over me in the beginning of the upright lock.

Quickly, I rose onto my hind legs to face him. I sent another swipe across his face, but he grabbed my shoulders with his white paws and sent us tumbling over with a snarl. I gasped as my shoulders slammed into the earth and Nightpaw pinned me to the ground, his green eyes shining with triumph. I wiggled under him, but he kept my back solidly against the mossy ground. My thoughts whirled frantically, as I helplessly batted his forelegs with my paws.

I let him catch me! That was one thing that the smaller cat can't afford to do in a fight against a larger and stronger opponent.

_He won._

_No!_ I thought angrily back at myself.

That's when I noticed his belly was exposed, right above my hind legs. I pulled my hind legs up against me, gathering all of my power into then like I would before taking the huge jump onto Skyrock.

Then I slammed my hind paws against Nightpaw's belly.

"Oomph!" Nightpaw gasped, as the air was forced from his mouth.

A bit of my shoulder fur was torn out as my kick sent Nightpaw tumbling off of me and stumbling back a few tail lengths. I scrambled to my paws, ready to face him again.

"We've seen enough," Cherrytail meowed, ending the fight.

I relaxed, flattening my bristling fur. Nightpaw was still gasping for breath.

"Now you can see the danger of the upright lock; it leaves your belly exposed," Sharpclaw meowed. "This means your opponent can use a belly rake against you, which is quite a debilitating move."

Nightpaw bowed his head once he caught his breath. Sharpclaw turned to me.

"You shouldn't have allowed yourself to be caught by Nightpaw," Sharpclaw meowed. "The battle could have easily been over for you then."

I dipped my head in acknowledgment as he paused.

"…But, that kick was clever thinking," he said.

"I figured that I had to get him off somehow. I bet if it was a real fight, and I had my claws out, I could do a lot of damage," I meowed, my eyes lighting up at the praise.

"A smaller cat would have gone flying from it," Cherrytail meowed.

I fluffed up happily at her words. Nightpaw looked less amused, his tail-tip twitching.

"Next training season you two will learn how SkyClan cats use our skills of climbing and jumping to attack from the trees," Sharpclaw meowed.

He gave me an approving nod.

"Lightningpaw is already learning how to use her powerful hind legs."

Nightpaw brushed by me with an annoyed sniff to follow Sharpclaw out of the clearing.

"Come on, Lightningpaw," Cherrytail meowed from the edge of the mossy hollow.

I got to my paws with a final look at Nightpaw's retreating back, and I followed Cherrytail back to camp.


	9. Night Hunting

The moon was shining brightly into the den, and its silverly rays fell right across my closed eyes. I yawned, squinting into the clear moonlight. With a bleary blink, I raised my head, looking at the pelts of my sleeping friends around me.

The second moon of my apprenticeship seemed to be filled with never ending chores and moss duty. I winced, flexing my sore paws as I recalled how I had spent all day today hauling bedding around with Nightpaw.

We had at least gotten some interesting stories about the rat battles from Tangle and Lichenfur out of it. They told us the ones about Rainfur's death, and Leafstar and Firestar finally defeating the rat leader. Still, my whole body was left aching from the nonstop climbing up and down the cliffs, and ripping moss off of the trunks of trees far out in the forest, and bringing it back to the gorge...

I rested my chin back down on my paws, willing sleep to come curl its dark pelt back over me. But, despite my aching muscles, my mind was buzzing with thoughts, and I could feel the night calling to me from the den's entrance, making me restless in my nest like there were ants crawling over my pelt.

I fidgeted around for a few moments longer before giving up and rising to my paws. As I stepped out of my nest, I was careful not to disturb Nightpaw, who was curled up in his nest pressed right beside mine. I gave my pelt a quick shake to flatten the parts that stuck up from sleep and crept out of the den.

The gorge was lit up with moonlight, turning the red rocks silver. I paused for a moment at the mouth of the apprentices' den just to take in the striking sight before I climbed down the trail and padded into the center of camp, fluffing my fur out.

The night was cold.

I shivered, beginning to regret my decision to leave my warm, cozy nest. While I bounced up and down on my paws to get my blood flowing, I walked down to the stream to lap at some water. It stung my tongue with an ice cold bite, but the burn felt pleasant.

I sat up, swiping my tongue over my lips and looking out across the stream. The bright moonlight clearly marked the the trail that led to the Whispering Cave. I titled my head as I looked at it, curiosity thrumming in me. Apprentices weren't allowed there without supervision because the slippery path was so treacherous. And, only the medicine cats were allowed to enter the cave alone, to commune with our ancestors. I gazed at the path intently.

_Are StarClan's whisperings really so secretive that a normal warrior cannot handle what they say?_

I shook my head, putting the thought out of my mind.

StarClan guided and protected us. I was not one to question their ways. I was just a warrior apprentice... I could never dream to have the connection to StarClan that Echosong did.

I cast a final glance at the path before getting back to my paws.

My belly suddenly rumbled in hunger, and my whiskers drooped. I could not take even a mouse from the pile... at least, not before fresh food was caught for the elders and queens in the morning. I sighed in disappointment, but my gaze was slowly drawn down the gorge and to the trees in the distance. My tail started to twitch as an idea formed in my mind.

_I could hunt. If I caught new prey to put on the pile, then I could eat something that's still there from yesterday._

My stomach clenched in excitement.

_But, apprentices aren't allowed to leave the camp alone at night._

Dismay crashed over me as I remembered. I huffed an annoyed sigh, my tail-tip twitching. Despite the hunger that had gripped me moments earlier, now just the thought of simply running through the woods with the stars above me seemed very appealing. Maybe even _more_ appealing than grabbing a snack. My body itched to move, to run, to hunt.

I blinked and realized that my paws had brought me to the edge of the camp, as if they had somehow done so without my consent. I gazed out at the length of the gorge, opening my jaws and seeking out the musky scent of the woods on the breeze. I found it, and I let it run across my tongue as I breathed in eagerly. 

That convinced me. A quick hunt wouldn't hurt.

_I'll be back before anyone knows I was gone._

I crouched down, preparing to stalk out through the shadows cast by a large rock.

"Where are you going?"

I jumped in a way that I knew looked _very_ guilty as a gravelly voice from the darkness stopped me in my tracks.

I turned to see a familiar dark pelt detach itself from the shadows of the cliff and pad over to me.

It was Wolfshade. He caught me red-pawed.

I swallowed.

"I was going for a hunt," I confessed, seeing there was no point in lying to him.

He tilted his head at me.

"Apprentices aren't allowed outside of camp at night without their mentors," he meowed.

The shadows covered his face, disguising his features and making his expression unreadable.

_Not that Wolfshade's face ever reveals much of his thoughts._

"I know," I meowed in reply, lifting my chin in a surge of boldness. "I was going to go anyway."

Our gazes met. His eyes glowed silver, reflecting the moonlight. Silence stretched between us as we just gazed at each other.

"I won't tell," he meowed finally.

I sighed, the tension draining from my shoulders and my tail lifting.

"Thanks, Wolfshade," I meowed. "I owe you one."

I turned away and started to pad around the boulder.

"Although... I could come with you. If you want. You might get in less trouble that way if you're caught," Wolfshade meowed from behind me.

I stopped, turning to stare at the dark tom uncertainly, trying to read his motives.

"You don't have to," I meowed, my tail twitching slightly. "I don't want to drag you into trouble with me."

"Well I don't feel comfortable letting an apprentice go out night hunting alone," he meowed stiffly.

My pelt bristled.

"I can take care of myself," I said hotly.

"I'm sure that's what every young apprentice thinks that goes night hunting alone and ends up eaten by a fox," Wolfshade meowed.

His face was serious, but I could hear an edge of humor to his words.

I huffed, my ears angled back and tail-tip flicking. Wolfshade seemed to take this as a concession, and he padded over to me, his face finally becoming clear as it was bathed in silver moonlight. He angled his ears towards the woods.

"Shall we?" he meowed, a smug sort of amusement in his voice.

I just huffed again and brushed by him, bounding through the sandy gorge and out into the dark trees.

I could barely hear Wolfshade behind me, but every time I turned my head to look, there he was, right at my tail like I had a large, fluffy shadow. His huge paws made no noise as they hit the frozen ground. White steam puffed from his open mouth as he breathed, and I noticed my breath was foggy too. The steam from our mouths rose above us and mingled together as it drifted towards the stars.

We bounded silently through the forest until the scent of mouse drifted into my mouth, and I stopped. I twitched my tail at Wolfshade to signal that I caught a scent. He nodded at me to go ahead. I slunk through the bushes, my ears pricked to pick up any little sound, and my eyes straining to search for any sign of motion. A twitching leaf at the base of a tree caught my gaze, and I froze.

I jerked as I suddenly felt a pelt brush mine. I'd been so focused on the mouse, I hadn't noticed that Wolfshade had crept up to my side. I shot a glance at him from the corner of my eye. We were so close that his scent drifted strongly into my nose; it was like cool pine and mint. Wolfshade cast me a sidewise glance with his green eyes. I twitched my ears at him, then the mouse. The awkward location of the prey at the base of the tree would make it hard for just one cat to catch. Without having to speak, Wolfshade nodded in understanding and slunk off. I waited for a few heartbeats as Wolfshade got into position, then I stalked towards the twitching leaf and sprung, trying to snag the mouse through the knobby tangle of roots. The mouse got away from me, dashing around the tree, only to run right into Wolfshade's claws when he leapt out of his hiding spot behind the trunk.

"Nice," I meowed with a nod to him.

Wolfshade nodded in response and scraped dirt over the mouse before padding to my side, and we headed off again. As we walked, I found myself relaxing, enjoying Wolfshade's silent presence at my shoulder. There was something nice about being with a cat that didn't feel the need to constantly fill the space between us with talk— to be comfortable to just coexist.

I shot a glance at Wolfshade. He was staring intently forward, scanning the forest ahead. But, then his ear twitched, like he felt my gaze on him, and his eyes flickered to mine. Our eyes met, and our gazes held. I found my breathing picking up, and my pelt prickled.

I was suddenly stuck by how beautiful his eyes were. They were like twin, shimmering, green pools reflecting the starlight.

I broke our gazes and took a deep breath of the cool night air to clear the sudden fuzziness in my head. But, I was having some trouble getting my rapid heartbeat under control. I gave my head a small shake like I was trying to shake off a clinging cobweb.

_What's wrong with me? Knock it off._

The scent of a nightingale drifted into my nose, and I quickly latched on to it, eager for the distraction. I followed the scent, being careful not to look Wolfshade in the eye again.

As we padded through the forest, the nightingale started to sing. My ears pricked, and I eagerly tracked the song, slinking through the undergrowth. But, then I blinked and realized Wolfshade was no longer at my shoulder. My brow furrowed and I stopped, turning to look back at him.

He stood still a few tail-lengths back, his pelt dappled silver in the moonlight that streamed down through the tree branches. His ears were pricked, but his eyes were unfocused, staring emptily out into the forest. He gave a quiet sigh, and he closed his eyes, standing and just listening to the bird's song. Our _prey's_ song. My brow furrowed in confusion, and I tilted my head, studying this strange cat.

_What in StarClan's name is going on in his head?_

I gave my ears a shake, but I decided to wait for him. I sat and wrapped my tail around my paws. But, as the moments stretched by, I found myself unconsciously being drawn into the song of the nightingale. I listened to it cheep and warble, its song rising and falling in a one-bird symphony. It trilled and chirped, calling out into the empty darkness around it.

As the song continued on, I oddly found myself wishing that there would be a response. That the bird wouldn't just cry out alone, that it had companions— someone to sing back to it. But, there was none. Instead, the single bird's song just climbed sharply, and my breath caught in my throat, but then just as quickly as it rose, it fell back down into a series of softer chirping. And, finally that too went silent as the nightingale concluded its song.

At its completion, a surge of sadness washed over me, and following that, was a jolt of confusion about the empathy I was suddenly feeling towards my prey.

I wasn't supposed to worry about birds being sad. I _should_ worry about feeding my Clan. 

I crouched lower, curling my tail tightly around myself. All of a sudden, I felt as alone as the nightingale.

Wolfshade's eyes opened then, and they met mine. He let out a soft purr which made my ears prick in surprise. I purred hesitantly back in reply.

"Are you okay?" he meowed, padding over to me.

"Yeah. I…" I began, but then stopped.

I mutely shook my head.

_How can I explain that a bird made me feel sad? He'll think that I'm mouse-brained._

But, Wolfshade just looked at me with understanding in his eyes... and I got the sense that he wouldn't actually think I was stupid.

"It's strange isn't it? That something we eat can make something so beautiful," he said softly, gazing out into the dark forest.

I nodded.

"Beautiful and sad," I murmured.

There was a glimmer of warmth in Wolfshade's eyes as he glanced at me.

"The songs are different every time, if you listen to them. They're not always sad," he meowed.

I blinked slowly. I don't think I'd ever really listened to a bird's song before, besides using its voice to track it. I studied Wolfshade.

He saw things differently than me. When he heard a birdsong, he thought about beauty, not just about food.

_What else am I missing out on?_

"I've got this one," Wolfshade meowed, bushing past me.

He padded into the woods, and I waited where I had sat. I tilted my head back to study the stars that shone down between the branches of the trees. Wolfshade came pushing back through the undergrowth, the bird in his mouth. This nightingale would never sing again.

"We can go back to camp now," I meowed, my chin still angled up.

"Alright," Wolfshade meowed.

But, he took a seat next to me, and we stayed like that for a while— silently staring up at the stars.


	10. Rogues on the Border

I waited impatiently down in the center of camp for Cherrytail to appear. We were going on the sun-high patrol today, and I was eager to get out of camp and stretch my legs after spending the morning helping Fallowfern clean the nursery.

I bounced up and down on my toes. I was proud of the fact that I didn't ever get tired on patrols anymore. My legs had grown both longer and stronger since the start of my training.

I saw Cherrytail's tortoiseshell pelt appear from the mouth of the warrior's den. She bounded down the cliff and padded over to me.

"Ready?" she asked.

"I've been waiting all day!" I purred in reply.

"You two on sun-high patrol?" Waspwhisker asked, padding over to us.

"Yeah," Cherrytail replied.

"Good." Waspwhisker nodded. "Sharpclaw asked me to lead it."

"Now we just need…" Waspwhisker meowed, looking around. "Ah, there's one of them."

I glanced up to see Wolfshade padding across camp. Waspwhisker waved his tail at him, and he came bounding over to us.

"Sorry I'm a bit late," Wolfshade mewed.

"No you aren't. You're just on time," Waspwhisker replied amicably.

Despite the argument he got into with Ebonyclaw a moon or so ago, Waspwhisker was quite a considerate cat most of the time, all things considered.

_But, I wonder if he's gotten over his feud with Ebonyclaw yet..._

Wolfshade glanced over at me.

"Hey," he meowed, with a nod.

"Hey," I purred in reply.

A small flash of warmth flickered through me as I remembered the night hunt we shared together. It felt like we were bonded by it now. The morning after the hunt, I had been a bit sluggish during my training with Cherrytail, my paws a tad slower than normal, but she never suspected a thing. And, as far as I could tell, no other cat knew anything either. Wolfshade didn't tell anyone a word about it, just like he promised.

"I'm here too!"

Minttail came bounding over to us, tail sticking up excitedly. She briefly touched her muzzle to Wolfshade's in greeting, and he blinked kindly at her.

"Alright that's everyone, let's go," Waspwhisker meowed, getting to his paws and leading us out of camp.

We followed the stream that snaked through the gorge into the woods. We were heading straight through our territory until we reached the border. I walked at the rear of the patrol with Wolfshade at my side. A deep breath filled my lungs with the crisp, cool air, and I listened to the breeze rattling the branches above, enjoying Wolfshade's familiar, silent company at my shoulder. That was, until, Minttail dropped back to walk on Wolfshade's other side.

"Did you know Fallowfern's kits will be apprentices soon?" Minttail meowed excitedly to him.

"Huh? Oh, yeah, I forgot about that," Wolfshade meowed, his gaze flitting through the trees distractedly.

"I hope Leafstar makes one of them my apprentice," Minttail said with a little hop.

"There are a lot of older warriors without apprentices right now though," I pointed out. "Waspwhisker, Clovertail, Patchfoot..."

"I would make a great mentor," Minttail continued as if I hadn't spoken.

My ears flattened. I looked away from her to roll my eyes and resisted the urge to snort at that comment.

_I think I would go crazy if Minttail was my mentor, and she spent the whole time treating me like I'm a little kit..._

"What can you scent, Lightningpaw?" Minttail asked me, as if on cue.

She shot a look at Wolfshade, as if she was trying to prove how good of a mentor she would be to him, but Wolfshade still looked distracted by the scenery.

My jaw clenched, and for a heartbeat, I thought about refusing her. Minttail wasn't my mentor; she couldn't ask me to preform tricks for her amusement. But, after a long moment of consideration, I decided it wouldn't be worth it. It would just start an argument, which would be much more work than just scenting the air.

I took a deep breath, running the air over my tongue, and beneath the layers of cold water and musky trees, the scents of unfamiliar cats washed over me. The fur on my shoulders rose as danger prickled through me.

"There's strange cat scent here!" I meowed the warning loud enough for the whole patrol to hear, my gaze flicking around the undergrowth furtively.

"No, there's not," Minttail meowed, scowling in annoyance.

She cast me a sharp glance as if I was purposely causing trouble, and I felt a stab of anger at her denial. I opened my mouth to defend myself, but before I could, I saw Cherrytail's ears flatten. She opened her jaws to taste the air.

"She's right," my mentor confirmed with a furrowed brow.

I lifted my tail, delicious vindication prickling at my pelt.

"Well done picking that up, Lightningpaw," Cherrytail meowed.

"She's got a good nose," Wolfshade added, glancing over at me.

Minttail's pelt flushed with embarrassment. She sniffed and refused to look at me, instead turning her gaze out towards the forest.

My fur fluffed happily at Cherrytail's and Wolfshade's praise. I glanced over at Wolfshade, but he had focused his gaze straight ahead, mouth opened slightly as he breathed in the scents.

"I bet they're the rogues that Sparrowpelt mentioned at the gathering a moon or two ago," Waspwhisker growled. "We'll chase them out if we see them trespassing."

"That's all well and good if they're aggressive. But, remember, Leafstar says that SkyClan cannot live in isolation, and that we have to be open to visitors," Cherrytail pointed out.

"These are prey stealing rogues on our territory! Not harmless loners who are curious to learn about the Clans!" Waspwhisker meowed over his shoulder as we continued forward on the patrol, at a more cautious pace this time.

"Maybe they don't know it's our territory," I piped up. "Maybe if we told them and told them about our Clan, then they'd want to join."

"No way," Minttail snorted. "Waspwhisker's right, they're just flea-bitten, no-good thieving rogues. Don't be ridiculous. They'd never change."

My ears flattened at her harsh rebuttal.

_She's probably just still embarrassed that she didn't pick up the scent first._

But, still I lowered my head and slowed my pace to fall back a bit.

"But, how many of our clan-mates were 'no-good thieving rogues' before SkyClan was formed?" Wolfshade posited.

It felt like he was coming to my defense. I shot him a grateful look.

"I certainly was," Waspwhisker meowed with some amusement in his voice.

"So was Sharpclaw," Cherrytail purred. "When Sparrowpelt and I were kits, we were terrified of the rogues that lived around here in the gorge! We thought they were vicious."

"Clan-life changes us," Waspwhisker murmured, half to himself.

There was a moment of thoughtful silence before Waspwhisker spoke up again.

"Well, it sounds like it's decided then," he meowed. "We'll try to talk to the rogues then, if we can."

We padded through the trees, following the rogues' scents. It grew steadily stronger as we drew closer to the Southern border. A flash of white fur through the bushes caught my eye.

"There they are!" Wolfshade meowed.

We bounded forward, pushing through the undergrowth. A dark red tabby and a black and white cat were streaking ahead of us. A squirrel was clutched in the black and white cat's jaws. Waspwhisker raised his tail, halting our patrol.

"Wait! We just want to talk with you!" Waspwhisker called.

The cats kept running, but the fluffy dark ginger cat slowed, turning to look at us over her shoulder. When she saw we were no longer pursing her, she slowly came to a stop.

"Whisper, what on Earth are you doing!?" The black and white tom hissed around the squirrel in his mouth.

Whisper, the ginger she-cat, did not reply. She just turned to us, raising her chin with confidence.

"Um. Hello," Waspwhisker began hesitantly.

The black and white tom grudgingly crept back to his ginger companion with the squirrel still held tightly in his mouth.

"My name is Cherrytail," Cherrytail, meowed, stepping forward to take the lead. "And, me and my friends here," Cherrytail gestured with her tail to indicate our patrol, "belong to a Clan known as SkyClan. You two are hunting on our lands."

The rogues started to look nervous again.

"But, it's okay," Cherrytail continued quickly, not wanting them to run off. "You probably weren't aware that it's our territory. And, besides SkyClan welcomes visitors. We welcome new cats who have good hearts, and even let them join our ranks, if they wish."

"No thank you," the black-and-white tom growled, dropping his squirrel at his feet. "We know what large groups of cats are like. I don't care what 'clan' or nonsense you call yourselves. We want nothing to do with it."

"Aren't you the same cats that have been chasing out of this forest?" Whisper rasped.

Her voice startled me. I blinked, but tried to not let the shock show on my face.

She was a dainty ginger cat, but her voice was harsh and grating, like wind hissing over sharp stone. Some of her words were so soft or mangled that they were difficult to make out.

"Yes," Cherrytail admitted, looking unfazed by Whisper's strange voice. "We live by a code that says we must protect and defend our territory. The prey here belong to us. We can't have strange cats stealing it whenever they wish, but we won't hurt you unless you try to hurt us. And, if you were to come back to our Clan with us and become our visitors, we would be happy to share our prey. As long as we have enough to feed our queens and kits and elders, and you join us with helping care for the Clan. That's all a part of the Warrior Code. You could come back to our camp, and we could talk about it some more over a mouse, if you'd like."

"No," the black-and-white tom growled.

"We'll think about it," Whisper said.

The black-and-white tom shot her an angry look before lowering his head to snatch the squirrel back up. He and Whisper whirled around and disappeared into the woods.

"Well, that went well," Minttail meowed scathingly.

"It went about as well as could have been expected," Waspwhisker pointed out. "They're right; we have been chasing them around for a couple of moons now. I'm not surprised that they don't immediately trust us."

"Yeah, you'd think they would have gotten the message that they're not welcome by now," Minttail muttered.

"The ginger, what's her name, Whisper, seemed a bit receptive at least," Cherrytail meowed. "The black-and-white tom, though… less so."

"We'll see if they come around," Waspwhisker meowed with a shrug.

"They better since we let them get away with that fat squirrel," Wolfshade grumbled, his tail twitching slightly.

"Let's remark the borders here, then continue around," Waspwhisker said.

With a final glance to where the rogues disappeared into the bushes, I followed our patrol back into the trees.


	11. Insomnia

"I'm telling you, Cherrytail was not that nice when I was her apprentice," Wolfshade said with a soft purr as we padded into camp, his grey-green eyes sparkling.

"You better keep your voice down, or she'll hear you!" I warned in an exaggerated whisper.

I shot Wolfshade a glance from narrowed eyes.

"And, Cherrytail is great. Are you sure that she wasn't a mean mentor, but instead you were just a difficult apprentice?" I teased.

"What are you implying?" Wolfshade's voice was deep and mockingly serious.

I just purred instead of replying, while he continued to look offended. We brushed through the ferns at the edge of the gorge, our patrol of Cherrytail, Tinycloud, and Ebonyclaw ahead of us. With a mischievous expression, Wolfshade opened his mouth to say what seemed to be a clever retort.

"Wolfshade!" Minttail interrupted, calling from across the clearing and beckoning with her tail for him to come over to her.

Wolfshade kept his gaze trained on me, but flicked his ears to let her know he heard her, and, to my disappointment, his mouth shut.

"See you later, Lightningpaw," he purred to me, green eyes warm.

"See you," I purred back, and watched him turn and bound away.

He reached Minttail and the two touched noses in a friendly manner before she began excitedly meowing something to him.

My paws suddenly felt heavy and tired from the long trek around our borders. I gave my pelt a shake, and the cold leaf-bare air stung at my ears and my nose.

There had been no scent of the ginger cat, Whisper, or the black-and-white cat when we went past the Southern border. I was hoping to bump into them again, and that they would be interested in coming back to camp with us this time. Their lack of scent was a bit worrying. Prey was very scarce now that leaf-bare was here in full force.

_I hope they're doing okay. And, not starving to death._

I shivered as an icy breeze whipped around me, worming its way through my thick pelt to nip at my sensitive skin beneath.

_Or, freezing to death._

I fluffed out my fur, trying to fight back the chill as I wondered how in StarClan's name cats were able to survive out there all alone without a Clan. I turned aside and headed over to the fresh-kill pile.

_My mother, Leafstar, did it._

I imagined her stalking through the forest alone, returning to her den where she laid down with no other warm pelts around her.

_It seems so sad. I don't know what I would do without my friends._

I picked up a small mouse from the pile and when I lifted my head I heard someone meow my name.

Briarpaw angled her ears at me, her delicate white paws resting on a half eaten starling. With a purr, I walked over to my friend and took a seat beside her to eat my mouse.

"You must be frozen to the bone after that long patrol!" she said.

Briarpaw pressed her pelt into my side, and I let out a grateful purr as her warmth spread to my skin. I curled myself closer to her, and I let her warm touch thaw any of my cold thoughts and worries about the rogues and life without a Clan and friends away. I mindlessly munched on my mouse, my gaze unfocused.

"You and Wolfshade look close," Briarpaw commented as I swallowed my first bite.

"Wolfshade?" I mewed in surprise, snapping back to attention.

I realized that while I had been zoned out, my eyes had been unintentionally staring at the dark tom from across the camp.

I quickly looked away from him and to Briarpaw.

"Yeah, he's my friend," I said, licking my soft brown chest to cover the gazing.

"Sure..." Briarpaw purred, not missing a heartbeat of my embarrassment, her yellow eyes gleaming.

My brow furrowed.

"He is my friend. I don't know what you mean by 'sure,'" I meowed, twitching my ears in annoyance at her teasing.

What she was implying was totally ridiculous.

"It's okay that you like him, you know," Briarpaw meowed.

My fur flushed with heat. I quickly shook my head, denying it.

_We are just friends._

"He's a warrior," I meowed pointedly.

"So? You won't be an apprentice forever," Briarpaw meowed, picking at the feathers of the starling in front of her.

My tail twitched uncertainly.

 _Minttail_ was Wolfshade's mate. I could see them sharing tongues from here as clearly as any other cat in the camp. Or, if Minttail and Wolfshade weren't officially mates yet... then everyone could tell they would be one day.

_Ugh Minttail._

I felt a tightness in my chest at the thought of her and Wolfshade together. I gave my head a shake to clear it. It was all weird and confusing. I didn't want to talk about it.

"How's your training going? It can't be much longer before you and your litter-mates are made warriors," I asked, deliberately changing the subject.

Briarpaw's eyes flashed. She knew exactly what I was doing.

"We take our final test in a few sunrises! So we'll be warriors not long after that," Briarpaw purred, happily going along with my abrupt change in topic, but sending me another glance to let me know that this conversation wasn't over.

I ignored her look.

"Really! That's great news!" I replied with a purr, my fur bristling with excitement for my friend.

I couldn't wait to be a warrior. After Briarpaw and her siblings' ceremony, mine and Nightpaw's would be next. I allowed myself for a moment to imagine that I was made a warrior earlier than normal. As a warrior, Nightpaw and I wouldn't have to clean out the elders' den, I would be able to go hunting alone without getting in trouble, and I would be able to sleep in the warriors' den…

An image flashed in my mind of me curled up with my back pressed against Wolfshade's.

I blinked hard, my thoughts wheeling as I pushed that image out of my mind.

I glanced up to see Wolfshade purring loudly with Minttail. She leaned forward to playfully flick his one nicked ear with her tail.

"I'm so excited to be a warrior!" Briarpaw meowed, pulling me out of my thoughts.

"Yeah, me too," I replied, trying to muster back up my excitement.

But my stomach felt heavy, like I had swallowed a rock. Slowly, I lowered my head and took another bite of the mouse.

* * *

Sure enough, just like Briarpaw said, a quarter moon after my conversation with her, I found myself down in the center of the camp with all of my clan-mates.

"Creampaw! Seedpaw!"

I raised my voice along with the rest of the Clan as we chanted the names of the newest apprentices. They shyly stood with their mentors Bouncefire and Patchpelt. Bouncefire looked about as excited at having an apprentice as Creampaw looked at being an apprentice. I turned my head to look for Minttail, wondering if she was disappointed at not being given an apprentice like she wanted. But, she seemed pleased enough; her pale green eyes were bright and she gazed around happily.

"We have one more ceremony to preform," Leafstar meowed from Rockpile, drawing my gaze back to her.

Leafstar looked down, her eyes gleaming.

The Clan began to quiet back down as Briarpaw, Lionpaw, and Ravenpaw walked into the center of the group of cats. My heart pounded in excitement for them.

Leafstar pointed her gaze upwards towards the sky.

"I, Leafstar, leader of SkyClan, call upon my warrior ancestors to look down on these apprentices. They have trained hard to understand the ways of your noble code, and I commend them to you as a warriors in their turn."

Leafstar looked back down at the three siblings.

"Briarpaw, Lionpaw, Ravenpaw, do you promise to uphold the warrior code and to protect and defend your Clan, even at the cost of your lives?" she asked.

"I do!"

Their voices rang out together in chorus. Lionpaw's eyes blazed. Ravenpaw's fur bristled. And, Briarpaw's tail stuck straight up. I lifted my chin, pride for my friends running through my pelt.

Leafstar bounded nimbly down Rockpile.

"Then by the powers of StarClan, I give you your warrior names," Leafstar meowed.

"Briarpaw, from this moment you will be known as Briarspot. StarClan honors your bravery and your cleverness."

Leafstar turned to Lionpaw.

"Lionpaw, from this moment you will be known as Lionclaw. StarClan honors your strength and your loyalty."

Finally Leafstar turned to Ravenpaw.

"Ravenpaw, from this moment you will be known as Ravenfur. StarClan honors your dedication and your compassion."

Leafstar turned to gaze at all three of them.

"And, we welcome you as a full warriors of SkyClan!"

Leafstar rested her nose on each of their foreheads, and they licked Leafstar's shoulder before stepping back.

"Briarspot! Lionclaw! Ravenfur!" the whole Clan shouted.

"Briarspot! Lionclaw! Ravenfur!" I yowled along with them in the loudest voice I could manage, leaping to my paws.

The three new warriors stood proudly in the center of the camp, their heads and tails raised. The chanting dissolved as the Clan divulged on the cats, purring and congratulating the young warriors.

I slipped my way through the crowd to Briarspot. She was purring excitedly with her father, Patchfoot, when I trotted up.

"Congratulations!" I purred, giving her shoulder a nudge with my muzzle.

"Thank you!" Briarspot exclaimed, eyes shining with pride. "Won't be much longer for you now!"

I purred back in reply and then waved my tail in farewell, moving out of the way for other cats and so I could head towards her siblings.

"Congratulations! Congratulations!" I meowed to Lionclaw and Ravenfur.

Lionclaw purred a thanks, affectionately head-butting my shoulder with his large, golden head, and Ravenfur blinked her huge deep blue eyes at me, every whisker quivering with happiness.

"Have fun staying up all night. I'm going to have _so_ much room in the cozy, warm den all to myself," I teased as I backed away, making room for other cats.

Ravenfur and Lionclaw purred in reply, their eyes shining with what must have been a clever response that they had to bite back as the other cats approached them, cutting me from their line of sight.

Purring to myself, I padded away from the crowd. The sun was starting to set, and the siblings would take their place on Skyrock as soon as the rest of the cats headed off to bed. I turned to look back at them. They stood among the crowd, looking so proud and excited and confident. Even if they didn't have to hold a vigil, it was clear there was no way that the three of them would have been able to sleep tonight.

Another flash of fur caught my eye as I spotted the dark pelt of Wolfshade through the sea of cats. He twined around his younger half-siblings, looking like any proud older brother would. There was a strange pang in my chest as I looked at him. I hadn't talked to him in a while, since that last patrol we went on a quarter moon ago, and I missed his company. The most interaction we'd had was a greeting as we brushed by each other in camp. I wondered if he was mad with me or avoiding me for some reason.

 _Has Briarspot talked to him?_ I thought, pelt suddenly flashing with heat.

Then I shook my head. She wouldn't do that to me. Wolfshade was a warrior; he's busy. He's not avoiding me. It must just be bad luck that we hadn't been on the same patrols recently.

Reassured, I stretched, deciding to have a quick mouse, then head up to the den and call it a day.

After my meal, I climbed up to the apprentice den and settled into my nest, closing my eyes, but sleep did not come easily for me.

I spent all night tossing and turning in my nest like I was the one that needed to be up keeping vigil. I just couldn't get used to the quietness of the den. Creampaw and Seedpaw were here, but they were curled up very closely to each other in the back of the cave. And, Nightpaw was here too, of course. He was snoring quietly about a tail length away. As soon as Lionclaw, Ravenfur, and Briarspot left, he was quick to move his nest farther away from mine to give himself more space. I tried not to feel too offended by the move— he'd become a big cat. He was already larger than some warriors, so he needed space to stretch out. But, still, I missed the warmth and pressure of my brother's fur at my side.

I looked at Creampaw and Seedpaw at the far end of the den. They seemed so young and inexperienced, even though I knew they were six moons old.

_Was I really like that when I first became an apprentice?_

I blinked, thinking back to the start of my apprenticeship. It was only three moons ago, but it felt like seasons upon seasons; how much everything has changed now. Not only how much I'd learned in training, but how I'd changed. I felt so much older, like I understood so much more about the world, the Clan, life...

 _And, death,_ I reminded myself, an image of Frecklewish forming in my mind.

I rolled over with a sigh, trying to quiet my thoughts, waiting for the dark, soft pelt of sleep to curl around me and lull me off. But, sleep avoided me like an elusive mouse. Every time I started to doze, I was jolted back awake by the same dream— a vision of rolling storm clouds and the sound of thunder. It wasn't until the sky started to lighten did my eyes finally drifted shut.


	12. The Assessment

The next day, I was woken up by a heavy paw shaking my shoulder. My eyes flickered open to see Nightpaw's annoyed green eyes peering down at me.

"What are you, a dormouse? The sun's almost above the trees, and we have training!" he snapped.

I blinked, shrugging his big white paw off and stumbling to my feet, still deep in the clutches of sleep.

"Great StarClan, I'm up," I grumbled, then gave a huge yawn that shook my whole body.

The tip of Nightpaw's tail twitched slightly.

"You better be down in the camp in two heartbeats," he warned, then bounded out of the den.

"What? Do you think you're my mentor?" I muttered grouchily to myself, bending my head to give myself a quick grooming before following him out of the den.

Outside, I was greeted by a blast of freezing rain. The cold droplets splattered on my nose and my back, the icy water trailing its way through my fur.

_StarClan... what a way to start the day._

I shivered, carefully picking my way down the slippery path. Cherrytail, Sharpclaw and Nightpaw stood in a miserable, wet huddle at the edge of camp, fruitlessly trying to stay out of the rain in the shade of Rockpile.

I bounded over to them, expecting a scolding from Cherrytail, but to my surprise, she seemed unusually subdued and looked as tired as I felt.

Sharpclaw flicked his ears, sending water droplets flying and drawing my attention away from my mentor.

"Good. We're all here. You two have been apprentices for three moons. Which means your training is about halfway complete. Today Cherrytail and I will be assessing your hunting skills to check your progress," he meowed.

 _In this miserable weather!_ I thought, blinking in dismay.

Nightpaw, who normally loved a good competition, didn't look particularly excited either.

"The water will make scenting more difficult, so this hunt should be a bit of a challenge, even for experienced apprentices like you," Cherrytail chimed in.

_Forget about scenting. We won't catch anything at all! All of the prey will be cuddled up warm and dry in their dens, while we wander around in the freezing rain like complete mouse-brains!_

Sharpclaw shook his pelt, pulling me out of my grim thoughts.

"We'll head downstream towards the southern part of the territory. The forest is thick there; it should shield us from some of the worst of the storm," he announced.

Sharpclaw bounded off without another word, and the three of us followed, hot on his paws even though my legs dragged with reluctance.

The rain pelted me in the face as we raced past the stream, mud splashing on our paws and up our legs. I winced at the mud's cold, slimy touch. Hopefully, once we got into the woods, Sharpclaw would be right, and the trees would give some protection from the weather. As we ran, I glanced over at Cherrytail, trying to see if she was as miserable about this weather as I felt. But, I noticed instead her eyes looked bleary and tired.

_Is she sick?_

My brow furrowed in concern, and I matched my stride to hers. She seemed distracted, her gaze flitting aimlessly around the trees ahead of us.

"Are you alright?" I asked my mentor in a low voice so Sharpclaw and Nightpaw couldn't hear.

She blinked, then widened her pale green eyes at me in surprise.

"What? Yeah, fine," she meowed.

"Oh," I said with a blink. "You just seemed tired."

"I am tired," she said. "But, I'm fine. Great even."

"Ok, good," I purred. "I was worried you were getting sick or something. Who would put up with my tardiness then?"

Cherrytail purred back but didn't reply.

After a bit, Sharpclaw turned away from the stream and led us deeper into the forest, to a place were the trunks were very densely packed together. I sighed in relief as the incessant pounding of cold rain on my back became only a drizzle as the branches above our heads protected us from the worst of the storm. We slowed our pace to a walk.

"Your assessment will test your group hunting skills," Sharpclaw informed us from over his shoulder.

"So, I'll be hunting with Nightpaw?" I asked, trotting up closer behind him.

"No. You will have warrior partners, so you can be assessed individually," Sharpclaw meowed.

We rounded a large bramble bush, and ahead of our patrol, by a huge, twisted oak tree there were two cats waiting for us.

Sharpclaw signaled them over with a twitch of the tail, before turning back to us. I tilted my head, but I couldn't identify the cats around Sharpclaw's wide tabby shoulders.

"Remember, it's your assessment, not their's. So, it's your responsibility to make the decisions on the hunt," Sharpclaw said.

"We get to tell the warriors what to do?" Nightpaw meowed, his eyes gleaming.

"Don't get used to it," Sharpclaw replied with a gruff purr of amusement.

"And remember, Sharpclaw and I will be watching you the whole time," Cherrytail added.

The two other warriors padded over to us and took a seat behind Sharpclaw as he finished explaining the rules.

My heart started to pound faster, and I suddenly felt light on my paws, the remnants of my sleepiness evaporating like fog on a sunny day. I recognized one of the cats as Ebonyclaw and the other as Wolfshade. His long fur was unevenly wet, flattening and darkening it in some places, while causing it in others to stand up in fluffy spikes. He twitched his wet whiskers at me in a silent greeting, his eyes bright.

I stifled a purr in reply as Sharpclaw rose to his feet.

"Nightpaw, you'll hunt with Ebonyclaw. And, Lightningpaw, you hunt with Wolfshade," Sharpclaw meowed.

_Yes!_

Despite the rain, my pelt warmed from a rush of irrational happiness that I had been chosen to hunt with Wolfshade. But, for a split second, I wondered if Nightpaw was upset he got partnered with a daylight warrior. However, my brother calmly walked over to Ebonyclaw and immediately began discussing hunting techniques with her.

_He'll be fine._

I padded over to Wolfshade and we touched noses in greeting. He pressed his muzzle onto mine, his deep green eyes peering into my amber ones. A purr rumbled in my throat.

"You can begin," Sharpclaw announced, then he and Cherrytail vanished into the trees.

Ebonyclaw and Nightpaw took off immediately, as if they already had agreed on where to go, their matching black pelts quickly disappearing into the trees.

Wolfshade turned to me.

"What do you want to do?" he meowed, tilting his head.

For a heartbeat, I almost purred 'whatever you want,' but then with a hard blink, I remembered this was not some fun romp in the woods, but an actual test, and I had to make the decisions. My fur flushed hot with embarrassment at the close call.

I cleared by throat and picked an arbitrary direction, hoping Wolfshade didn't notice the heat radiating from my pelt.

"Uh, let's go this way," I said, flicking my ears to the left, opposite of the way Nightpaw went.

"Alright," he mewed, twitching water off his whiskers and following me into the undergrowth.

We padded quietly through the forest, and I tried to focus my mind on the hunt. I kept my nose up and mouth slightly open, tasting the air for any scent of prey, but all I could smell was water and damp earth. I let out a huff of frustration, but we continued to press forward.

_I **need** to find prey. If I don't find anything to catch, how can I pass the assessment?! Plus, Wolfshade will surely think I'm a lousy hunter then..._

We walked for a while longer, and then, just the lightest scent of warm prey drifted into my mouth. I froze, carefully trying to pinpoint the direction the faint prey scent was coming from.

_I think it's a little to the left._

"Can you smell that?" I mewed quietly to Wolfshade.

He scented the air, then shook his head 'no,' his brow furrowed.

"It's very faint, but I think it's squirrel," I meowed, stalking over in the direction of the scent.

"This way," I murmured.

We had to walk for a while, but the nutty scent grew steadily stronger, confirming my suspicion. After a few moments, I saw Wolfshade's eyes light up as he caught the squirrel's scent too. I led the way as we crept up to a big pine tree. For a moment, I lost the scent of the squirrel as I became distracted by the sharp, clear scent of pine, penetrating through the damp rain smell.

It reminded me of Wolfshade's scent.

_Focus!_

I blinked hard.

The squirrel scent was drifting down from above. I scanned the branches of the trees. Then I spotted it ****— a flash of grey fur perched on the end of a branch on a tree next to the big pine. I studied the position of the squirrel and the trees, a plan forming in my mind. I leaned over to Wolfshade, putting my mouth close to his ear to whisper to him, and fiercely telling myself to ignore how good he smelled.

"You climb the pine to that branch," I murmured, gesturing to the indicated branch with my tail.

I noticed my whiskers brushed his cheek fur, but I pretended like I didn't. He didn't pull away from the touch.

"Hide by the trunk. I'm going to climb the tree with the squirrel in it and chase it right into your paws."

Wolfshade eyed the trees, analyzing the squirrel's potential escape routes as I had done.

"Are you sure?" he whispered. "I don't think we can get this one, it's just too high."

I tilted my head at him.

"But, it's the middle of leaf-bare. We desperately need all the prey we can find," I replied.

"How do you know it'll run to me?" he asked.

I blinked, wondering if he was testing me for the assessment or simply doubting my hunting judgement.

"Where else would it flee to? Do you trust me?" I asked in reply, searching his eyes.

He gazed at me with his unreadable green eyes.

"Yes," he answered finally.

Without another word, we split up, slinking to our respective trees. Carefully staying on the opposite side of the trunk from the squirrel, I sunk my fore-claws into the slick, wet bark and pushed upwards with my powerful hind-legs, climbing up the tree in smooth, silent bounds. As I approached our prey, I slowed, not wanted it to notice me until it was too late. I waited a few moments, making sure Wolfshade had ample time to get in position. Then I slipped around the trunk as smooth as a snake. I silently bounded down the branch after the squirrel, but once I was out of the cover of the trunk, the squirrel noticed me almost immediately and fled down the end of the branch.

I felt a thrill of excitement in my chest as it followed the path that I had predicted— the squirrel took a flying leap off of this branch and towards the branch of the pine. The squirrel landed on the branch, which swayed beneath it as bounded towards the pine's trunk, chatting angrily at me from over its shoulder. That's when I saw a dark shadow detached itself from the trunk and spring at the squirrel, capturing it in its claws and killing it with a swift bite to the neck. Panting, I came to a halt at the swaying end of the branch of my tree, clinging to it tightly with my claws so I didn't lose my grip on the slippery bark.

"Great catch!" I yowled excitedly over to Wolfshade.

Wolfshade looked up at me, green eyes shining, but he was unable to respond with his jaws full of squirrel. I turned, eagerly returning to the trunk so I could climb down the tree. By the time my paws had hit the ground, Wolfshade, carrying our catch, made it down as well, and we met in the middle between the trees. Wolfshade trotted over with the squirrel in his mouth and his eyes bright. Even with its wet fur slicked to its body, the squirrel looked healthy and large; its tail dragging on the ground it dangled from Wolfshade's jaws. Wolfshade dropped the prey.

"That was brilliant!" he said, his eyes bright.

"You were brilliant!" I purred, my pelt prickling in excitement. "The way you snatched it right off the branch when it wasn't even looking! I only chased it."

"No it was you," he argued back. "You tracked it down and came up with the plan to catch it. I just sat there and killed it. That doesn't require much talent."

My fur flushed at his praise. I looked away and scuffled my paws on the ground.

"Thanks," I mumbled, then changed the subject. "Let's bury it and keep hunting."

Wolfshade simply purred. I flicked my gaze back up to see him gazing at me for a moment longer, but then he turned and obediently picked up the squirrel and took it to a bush to scrape some dirt over it. My gaze drifted over him. With his normally fluffy fur wet and pressed against his skin, I could see his sleek muscles flex and move smoothly as he dug. I blinked and made myself look away.

While Wolfshade was burying the squirrel, I scented the air in an effort to both find more prey and to distract myself from him.

Despite my bad luck with finding prey earlier, I now easily caught the scent of mouse. Wolfshade trotted over to me, paws muddy.

"There's a mouse nearby," I whispered to Wolfshade.

He nodded, and I took the lead as we stalked towards the scent, sifting through the undergrowth. I was able to pinpoint it to a small pile of fallen leaves at the foot of a fallen tree. My ears pricked as I noticed one leaf almost imperceptibly twitch.

I flicked my tail to Wolfshade to let him know this catch was mine. I slipped into the hunter's crouch and on silent paws, I glided up to the pile and sprung.

My paws smacked down on the twitching leaf, and I felt a mouse under the leaf die instantly as I snapped its neck with my claws. But, another mouse shot out of the pile, scampering away from me. I blinked in surprise at its appearance, but I still managed to leap after it without pausing. After two bounds, I caught and swiftly killed the second mouse before it could escape beneath a bramble bush. My tail twitched irritably as I lifted my head, clutching the warm prey in my jaws.

_I should've noticed that there was two mouse scents, not just one!_

I walked back to the leaf pile and uncovered the first mouse, picking that one up as well, my mood still grouchy.

"Two for one, well done," Wolfshade said, padding over to me.

I twitched my ears.

"I didn't pick up the second mouse scent," I complained around the prey dangling in my jaws. "It almost got away from me."

"It's wet out, and they were under a big, smelly, damp pile of leaves," Wolfshade said with a shrug. "I could only smell one too."

"And you caught them both, which is what really matters," a voice suddenly came from behind me.

I turned to see Cherrytail walk out of the shadows.

"I've seen enough. You've done very well, Lightningpaw," Cherrytail meowed.

A rush of warm happiness chased away the cold of my damp pelt as my tail curled upwards in delight.

"Thank you," I purred, dipping my head.

"Wolfshade, could you take the mice, fetch the squirrel and then head back to camp? But, Lightningpaw, stay here for a moment please, there is something I have to tell you," Cherrytail meowed softly, a strange note in her voice.

My paws prickled. My chest tightened uncomfortably as my happiness faded, a flash of anxiety gripping me instead. Wolfshade cast a confused glance between me and Cherrytail at Cherrytail's odd tone, but he dipped his head to the senior warrior and with an ear twitch of farewell, took the mice and headed off. I turned to Cherrytail.

"Did I do something wrong? Did I mess up on the assessment?" I blurted out quickly, my eyes wide with worry.

Cherrytail blinked at me.

"No. No. You've done nothing wrong. You've passed the assessment beautifully," she said, a faint hint of amusement in her meow. "It's not about you. This is about me…"

Cherrytail took a deep breath like she was readying herself for something big.

"I'm expecting kits," she announced.

Cherrytail gazed at me earnestly, waiting for my response. I blinked hard, and after a moment of shock, a purr burst from my chest and I leapt to my feet, bounding over to my mentor to press my nose into her shoulder.

"Cherrytail! That's wonderful news!" I purred.

Cherrytail blinked happily at me, a purr rumbling in her own chest.

"Is Sharpclaw the father?" I guessed, knowing how much time the two of them spent together.

"Yes," she purred, eyes shining with love and pride.

"I'm so happy for both of you. You'll make great parents," I said, meaning every word.

Cherrytail nodded, but I saw a tinge of sadness in her eyes.

"I'm in the early stages of my pregnancy now, but eventually I will have to move into the nursery..." Cherrytail's voice trailed off.

The happiness in my chest dimmed somewhat as I realized the meaning behind her words.

"And someone else will have to keep training me," I mewed softly.

"Yes," Cherrytail blinked.

I could see disappointment and anguish in her light green eyes as she gazed at me. She thought she failed me.

I pressed my muzzle to her shoulder again, this time to comfort her.

"It's alright. You're going to be a brilliant mother. And, I couldn't have asked for a better mentor," I murmured.

Cherrytail purred and gave me a brisk lick on the head.

"Nor, I, an apprentice," she meowed.

Then, she hauled herself to her feet. The rain, I noticed, was just starting to slow down.

"Let's get back to camp," she purred. "And, after the queens and elders are fed, maybe you and I can share one of those mice you caught."


	13. A Bitterly Cold Night

Snow softly drifted down as I padded through the forest with Nightpaw. The bare trees around us were coated in a thin layer of ice that twinkled in the leaf-bare sun. My brother's paws crunched through the top layer of snow and into the powder beneath as we padded through the trees, and I trotted happily along behind him. I was enjoying the hunting patrol with Nightpaw. Our territory was a beautiful forest of white, and I was getting to spend time with my brother. As we entered into the latter half of our apprenticeship, I didn't do as much training with him anymore. 

"Hey, I never asked you how your hunting assessment went," I meowed to him as my mind flashed back to that rainy day about a half-moon ago.

"Good," Nightpaw replied curtly.

"Well that's good," I said, bounding ahead to sniff a strange looking leaf.

It was completely coated in ice, making it look spiky.

"Want to elaborate on that at all?" I meowed, looking back at Nightpaw.

Nightpaw shrugged.

"No," he meowed.

I rolled my eyes. My brother seemed to be one of his sulky moods for some reason.

"Wolfshade and I caught a squirrel _in_ a tree," I boasted.

My nose twitched as a cold snowflake landed on it. 

"Ebonyclaw's collar jingled and frightened away a shrew, but I caught a rabbit later on the hunt," Nightpaw meowed.

"Oh, I'm sorry you lost the shrew," I said, pawing the snow off my stinging nose and glancing over at him.

Nightpaw shrugged again.

"Sharpclaw saw it was her fault, so I wasn't penalized for it. But, I mean it's to be expected. She's just a kittypet-warrior after all," he meowed.

I tensed at the word _kittypet._

"Hey! Don't call her that," I protested, bounding in front of him, and cutting him off, so he was forced to stop and look at me.

I turned my head to see if our mentors heard what Nightpaw just said, but they were far ahead of us. I just saw a flash of Sharpclaw's dark ginger pelt through the trees.

"We are half daylight warrior," I reminded Nightpaw.

Nightpaw frowned.

"But, Brackenstorm made the right choice. No one can fault him for where he was born because he can't help that. But, he chose us. He chose SkyClan. That's what's important. But, these daylight warriors with a paw in two worlds are weak because they haven't made a choice. They're not committed to anything. They don't have enough loyalty to SkyClan," Nightpaw complained.

My brow furrowed, and I opened my mouth to protest.

"Think about it like this," Nightpaw meowed before I could say anything. "What if you had to kill a snake while battling a badger?"

"...That would be really hard, almost impossible," I meowed. "If I turned my back on the snake, I'd get bitten. And, if I tried to fight the snake, I'd be crushed by a badger."

"Exactly," Nightpaw meowed, moving around me to continue forward. "You can't fight two battles at the same time. If you try, you'll lose. Even if you tried to fight them both at the same time, you won't be able to beat them both."

"But, that's what a daylight warrior is doing. When they're with us, they're distracted by the thought of their two-legs. Or, they aren't even with us because they're at their dens with their two-legs! And, I'm certain that when they're with the two-legs they are thinking of us instead of completely enjoying their time there. So they need to choose. Pick to fight the snake. Or, pick to fight the badger. And, if they don't choose, then they'll end up exhausted and weak. And, our Clan will be weaker because of it," Nightpaw meowed over his shoulder.

I padded after him silently, thoughts whirling. I could see his point, but to me, the daylight warriors seemed to manage just fine. They hunted and patrolled just as much as any other warrior in SkyClan.

My tail-twitched uneasily.

_How could Nightpaw be so dismissive of them? It's like he doesn't care where we're from. That Brackenstorm was a daylight warrior. Or, that every member of our Clan was once a kittypet or a loner or a rogue!_

But, I knew arguing with Nightpaw was useless. He was too stubborn. Even if I managed to change his mind, he wouldn't admit it to me.

I scented the air, deciding to just concentrate on catching prey for now and to stop worrying about him. But, the snow muted all of the smells around me— I could taste no prey-scent, just the icy bite of the wind. The wind howled, whipping snow from the air and the ground. While we had been talking the snow had picked up, and it was coming down a lot harder now. I shivered as the gusts cut through my pelt, the snow dancing in the air.

"Can you scent anything?" I meowed to Nightpaw.

Nightpaw shook his head, then shook his pelt, dislodging clumps of snow from his dark fur.

"I don't even know where Sharpclaw and Cherrytail went," Nightpaw meowed.

I squinted ahead. I could barely see more than a few fox-lengths ahead of us, so there was definitely no sign of our mentors' pelts. I breathed in the cold air and felt a small jolt of fear when I couldn't even find a hint of their scent anywhere. I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself.

"We don't need them to hunt and to get back to camp," I meowed. "Let's just try to get some prey and get out of here before we freeze our tails off."

Nightpaw nodded, squinting into the wind. We padded on, stopping every few minutes in order to scent the air.

"We're getting nowhere with this," I meowed to Nightpaw, having to raise my voice to speak over the wind.

I gestured with my tail towards a tree.

"I'm going to dig at the roots. Maybe we can stir up a mouse sheltering there," I meowed.

Nightpaw nodded in agreement. I headed over to one large oak, and Nightpaw went to another. I dug my paws into the wet snow, throwing it up behind me. I scraped through a layer of ice, pads stinging and snow clumping in my leg fur. Finally, I broke through the snow and my paws met wet leaves. I stuck my head in the hole, breathing in the refreshing earthy scents. The musky smell was an oasis in a desert of ice. I burrowed down, creeping under the snow and wiggling by the roots of the tree. The howling wind was instantly muted as soon as my head went under the top layer of snow. I crawled around in the small natural cave the snow formed around the lumpy tree roots. I sighed, taking a heartbeat to enjoy the reprieve from the harsh wind and the relative warmth of the snow cave. Then I scented the air again, searching for prey scent. I wiggled around and found mouse droppings hidden under some leaves, but they were several sunrises old and there was no sight or scent of prey.

I pushed upwards with my shoulders, breaking up through the snow cave above me. My head burst through the top of the snow, and the wind immediately started howling in my ears again. I shook my head, sending the snow that was on me flying.

I scanned the forest around me, but I saw no sight of Nightpaw's dark pelt. I opened my mouth to call for him, but then I snapped my jaws back shut, thinking better of it. If he was stalking prey, I didn't want to scare it way.

I turned back to the tree beside me. Digging my claws into the bark, I started to scale it, grunting with effort as my stiff, cold muscles were forced to pull my body up the trunk. Then the wind picked up, and my heart pounded as I suddenly found myself swaying in the powerful breeze. I paused, screwing my eyes shut in fear and digging my claws as deeply into trunk as I could manage. I let out a sigh of relief as the wind settled back down a few long moments later, and I began to climb again. I muttered a prayer of gratitude to StarClan as I finally made it to a large branch, and I hauled myself onto it.

My gaze flickered over to my target— a large squirrel's nest nestled in a fork of the branch. I padded down the tree-limb, hunched over and claws clinging to the bark to limit the pull of the wind on my fur. I did _not_ want a strong gust of wind to almost send me flying off of the tree again. My mouth watered in anticipation at the strong squirrel scent that radiated from the nest as I finally made it over to it. I waited a few moments, getting ready before I sprung forward and poked my head inside, teeth bared in preparation to snatch a squirrel... But, the nest was empty.

I pulled my head back, disappointment as well as hunger dragging at my belly.

My paws dragged as I padded back toward the trunk. I looked higher up the tree, spotting a small hollow farther up the trunk. I set my jaw stubbornly.

_I can't leave this stupidly cold forest without finding **some** kind of prey!_

Deciding to check out the hollow, I began my climb higher, slowing as I approached it. To my delight, a scent of bird sifted down to me, making my tail twitch with excitement. I gave my head a small shake, readying myself. Then I bounded the last few tail lengths up the trunk to the hollow and shoved my head in it, completely filling the hole with my body. There was a starling in a nest that let out a sharp alarm call at the sight of my face. Quickly, I snapped at it. It panicked, flapping around the hollow. It's wings buffeted my head, feathers stinging my eyes until I finally managed it get its neck into my jaws. I pulled my head back out of the hollow with the prey in my mouth, glad that there was no one else here to see my clumsy kill.

I slowly picked my way back down the tree, the prey clutched tightly in my mouth. I scanned the forest around me for my brother.

"Nightpaw?" I meowed around the starling in my mouth.

I padded to the tree that he had been investigating earlier, but besides some scraped up snow, there was no sign of him.

_He must have wandered off to hunt._

I put the starling down and scraped some snow over it.

_I should look for more prey too._

I padded back off into the trees, shoulders hunched against the wind.

* * *

Despite combing the forest for hours, scaling trees, and looking by roots, I had no more luck with prey. Finally, I was forced to return to my one little starling and retreat to camp.

I padded into our snowy camp and dropped my starling on our pitiful fresh-kill pile. Besides my bird, there was only a squirrel and three mice.

My stomach rumbled, but I didn't dare take anything before making sure that the elders and Cherrytail had eaten. I spotted Cherrytail from across the clearing, and I went over to her.

"Oh there you are! How was your hunt?" she meowed.

"Disappointing," I replied, my tail drooping. "Only got one starling."

"Well, that's leaf-bare for you." Cherrytail's voice was glum as her gaze flickered over my shoulder, looking into camp. "Where's Nightpaw?"

My ears twisted back.

"He's not back yet?" I asked with a blink.

"No," Cherrytail replied.

"He must still be hunting then," I meowed. "We got separated by the snow in the woods."

The snowy wind howled through camp like I summoned it with my words, ruffling my fur. I shivered.

"Have the elders been fed yet?" I asked, my stomach clenched at the thought of food.

"No," Cherrytail replied. "You can take the squirrel up for them to share. Have you eaten anything today yet?"

I shook my head. "No."

Cherrytail nodded.

"Me neither," she meowed. "We need to conserve food, so when you get back we'll split a mouse."

Even the thought of having a meager bit of mouse made my stomach flip in excitement.

"Thank you," I gasped, dipping my head to Cherrytail before rushing off to grab the squirrel and take it to the elder's den.

When I climbed back down the cliff after giving the squirrel to a grateful Lichenfur and a grouchy Tangle, I found, to my surprise, a large group of my clan-mates out in the storm and clustered around the fresh-kill pile. Mcgyver was facing Bouncefire, who was standing over the fresh-kill pile. I padded over to join Cherrytail where she stood with our mouse at her paws.

"It's not fair for you to take prey," Bouncefire was meowing to Mcgyver.

His voice was steady and calm, but there was a slight bristling to his fur.

"There is so little of it right now, and you have all the food you want at your two-leg den," Bouncefire said.

"I've gone on patrol today. The elders and queens have been fed. All my warrior duties have been fulfilled. You can't stop me from taking prey," Mcgyver argued.

I turned to see Leafstar padding over to the group, having returned from border patrol. She gave her head a shake, shaking snow from her whiskers.

"Leafstar, I—" Bouncefire began.

"I heard what's going on," Leafstar meowed. "Bouncefire, the daylight warriors do as much hunting and patrolling as we do. So, they have as much right to the prey as we do. We have no right to tell them that they can't have any."

Bouncefire reluctantly stepped away from the pile at Leafstar's rebuke, his ears flattening.

"No, Leafstar, Bouncefire has a point," Ebonyclaw meowed, stepping forward. "Regardless of the duties we've done for the Clan, that doesn't change the fact that we have food to eat whenever we want it, while you don't."

"I'd offer to bring you all some of the food," Ebonyclaw continued, looking over at the gathered cats. "But, the food is small and pebble-like, so it would be next to impossible to carry it here for you all. So, what makes the most sense is for us to stop eating the prey here at camp."

"But—" Mcgyver protested.

"I know our two-leg food isn't as good as the prey, but it's for the good of the Clan," Ebonyclaw meowed, turning to him.

"I can't ask you to do that, Ebonyclaw," Leafstar meowed.

"I know. That's why you don't have to ask. We will do it ourselves. Haveymoon?" Ebonyclaw meowed, turning to the white tom.

He dipped his head in agreement.

"Mcgyver?" Ebonyclaw asked.

"Fine," Mcgyver grumbled, stepping away from the fresh kill.

"I'm very proud of you three," Leafstar meowed, her blue eyes glowing softly. "You do so much for the Clan."

They dipped their heads to Leafstar, and even Mcgyver perked up, now looking pleased rather than irritated. The group of cats dispersed with everyone looking more relaxed. I studied the daylight warriors as they walked away. Their bodies did seem to be more filled out than the rest of the clan; everyone else had a bit of leaf-bare skinniness to them.

_It's good that they decided not to eat the prey in camp. At least for right now._

I settled next to Cherrytail to share the mouse. As I ripped into the sweet flesh, the painful ache in my belly eased.

I sighed in relief as I lifted my head after finishing my share of the mouse.

"Have you seen Nightpaw?" Sharpclaw meowed, padding over to me.

"No," I replied, pelt starting to prickle in worry. "He still isn't back yet?"

My gaze flickered around camp to make sure that I hadn't somehow missed his dark pelt in the crowd.

"He should be here by now," Sharpclaw said, turning to look out of camp and towards the forest.

"What if something happened to him? Should we go to look?" I meowed, getting to my paws.

The cold wind twined around me as if to taunt us.

"I was going to," Sharpclaw meowed. "But, you don't have to come."

"No, we'll help," Cherrytail said, standing up. "More eyes are better than less. Besides, Lightningpaw can show us where she saw him last."

I nodded.

"Yeah. We were hunting in the eastern woods," I meowed.

Sharpclaw nodded.

"Let's go then," Sharpclaw meowed, padding off with a quick swish of his tail.

"Shouldn't we tell Leafstar?" I meowed, bounding after him.

"There is no need to worry Leafstar unnecessarily. He may just have lost track of time," Sharpclaw meowed.

But, I saw him shoot a worried glance at the sinking sun. Cherrytail brushed against Sharpclaw's side briefly. He pressed his muzzle to her ear in reply before taking off. The three of us bounded out of camp with Sharpclaw in the lead. As we ran through the trees and approached the eastern woods, Sharpclaw turned his head to look back at me.

"You've got a good nose, Lightningpaw, any scent of him?" Sharpclaw asked.

The cold air stung my lungs as I breathed it in, but I shook my head. There was no trace of Nightpaw in the breeze. Calling Nightpaw's name, we padded all though the woods as the sun set and the sky went dark grey, the snow still falling. I was shivering incessantly now, my pelt soaked through by the snow when Sharpclaw finally turned back to me and Cherrytail.

"We'll head back to camp. We may have missed Nightpaw. He could have gone back, while we've been out here looking for him," Sharpclaw meowed.

I nodded, but it didn't escape my notice that he neglected to tell us what we would do if Nightpaw wasn't there... My belly swirled with worry, but I pushed the feeling away.

_He'll be there. He'll be fine._

When we made it back to camp, it was fully dark out. I ran up to Briarspot, who was sheltering from the weather by Rockpile with Ravenfur as they shared a meager shrew.

"Have either of you seen Nightpaw?" I panted.

"No, I don't think I have," Ravenfur meowed.

"But, check the apprentice den," Briarspot added. "We might've just not noticed him come by."

"Is he missing?" Ravenfur meowed, seeing the worry on my face.

"I don't think he's come back from hunting way earlier today," I meowed, already backing away as turning to the dens.

I dashed over to the cliff to look in the apprentice den. But, when I poked my head inside, I only saw Creampaw curled up, napping in her nest. I whirled around and dashed back out, then came to a skidding stop as I almost ran smack into Wolfshade; he and his brother, Bouncefire, had been walking to the apprentice den.

"Is something wrong, Lightningpaw?" Wolfshade said, blinking down at me as I awkwardly backed away from him, fur fluffed with worry and embarrassment.

"Nightpaw isn't here. I haven't seen him since we were hunting around sun-high. Cherrytail, Sharpclaw and I were out in the woods looking for him, but there's no sign of him there either," I meowed quickly, some panic starting to creep into my voice.

I spotted Sharpclaw speaking with Leafstar and a group of warriors around Wolfshade's dark grey shoulder's.

I dodged around Wolfshade and Bouncefire, bounding over to them.

"Sorry Bouncefire, you'll have to find someone else to take Creampaw night-hunting with," I heard Wolfshade mutter to Bouncefire behind me.

As I padded up to the group, Wolfshade shadowed me, taking his place at my shoulder.

"We will send out two patrols for him. Sharpclaw has already searched once. It's is very snowy and dangerously cold. You'll have to spread out to comb the forest, but stay within ear shot of your patrol the whole time. Nightpaw _will_ be found tonight," Leafstar was meowing to the group, the wind blowing at her back and making her short fur bristle.

"I will lead a patrol with Sharpclaw, Plumwillow, Lionclaw, and Wolfshade," Leafstar said, sweeping her gaze over the assembled cats.

"Patchfoot, you will lead one with Brackenstorm, Sagewhisker, Clovertail, and Rabbitleap," Leafstar meowed.

"Should I take Seedpaw with me?" Patchfoot asked, squinting through the wind.

"No, I don't want any more apprentices out in this weather," Leafstar replied.

Bouncefire had joined the ring of cats. He bent his head to murmur something to Creampaw. She looked disappointed.

"I want to come," I meowed, the words bursting out of my mouth as I slipped into the ring of warriors.

All of the warriors in the circle turned to look at me. My fur bristled with discomfort under their gazes, but I kept my head high, standing firmly in front of Leafstar.

"Lightningpaw, I just said I don't want any more apprentices out in this weather. I don't want you getting lost too. Besides, you must be tired; you've already gone hunting, then searched for him once today," Leafstar meowed, lowering her voice and turning to face me. "And, look at you! You must be freezing. Your pelt is entirely soaked through."

She bent her head to try to lick some water off of my pelt and warm me up, but I stepped away from her, lashing my tail. Truthfully, my paws were numb, and I wanted nothing more than to curl up someplace warm and dry. But, I wasn't going to tell Leafstar that. Besides, how could I let myself be warm and dry when I knew Nightpaw was out there somewhere, maybe injured, and certainly wet and freezing?

"He's my brother. I want to help," I meowed, meeting my mother's blue eyes stubbornly.

Determination along with concern for Nightpaw clenched at my stomach. Leafstar glanced to me, then back to the rest of the warriors, thinking. She let out a sharp sigh.

"Fine. But, Seedpaw and Creampaw are to remain in camp, and you'll be joining my patrol, so I can keep an eye on you," Leafstar meowed. "And, if I tell you to go back to camp, you will. No questions asked and no complaining alright?"

I bristled slightly at the thought of being treated like a kit, but I just ground my teeth and dipped my head to my mother. She was already letting me come on the patrol; I shouldn't push my luck.

"Thank you, Leafstar," I said.

"Now, let's not waste anymore time," Leafstar meowed.

I noticed that ice was crusting to her face fur, while the snow continued to whip around us. Leafstar turned, waving her tail.

"Let's head out."

* * *

I bounded out of camp after Leafstar. My legs trembled with exhaustion, my muscles ached, and my skin was cold from trekking through the snow all day. But, I couldn't let my mother know, or else she'd send me right back to camp. And, I had to go out. I steeled myself and followed her into the forest.

The night was terribly cold. The wind raised the fur on my shoulders as it howled through the trees. The two patrols travelled together for a while into the woods, until Leafstar stopped all of us, raising her tail for attention.

"My patrol will take the northern part of the forest," Leafstar meowed over the wind. "Patchfoot's will take the southern."

"Patchfoot," Leafstar said, turning to the white and black tom. "Have your patrol fan out, but everyone is to stay within earshot of each other the whole time."

All the cats nodded in agreement, and then the two patrols split off in opposite directions.

As we walked through the dark forest, my breath fogged in the air in front of me, obscuring my vision even more than the snow already was.

"Alright, now spread out in the fan formation, but stay within earshot of the cats to your side. Yell if you find anything," Leafstar meowed.

Wolfshade came to my side, giving me a nod. Leafstar took the center of the group, so she could best hear cats from both sides. I ended up at the end of the line, with only Wolfshade to my left. Then we split off, each of us heading in slightly different directions in the undergrowth.

I lost sight of my clan-mates very quickly in the trees and the snow, but I heard my mother's voice drift over to me on the wind.

"Sound off!"

"Here! Here! Here!" I heard my clan-mates call.

"Here!" Wolfshade shouted, his voice louder than the rest.

"Here!" I cried.

Then the forest fell silent again, and I continued forward. It went on like that for a while. I walked onward, occasionally breaking through the top of the snow and having to struggle forward before I got to a place where the snow was more compact, and I could walk across the top again. I searched the snowy trees around me with my gaze, scenting the air, shouting for Nightpaw, and occasionally sounding off to Leafstar.

I shivered as an especially cold gust of wind lifted my coat. My paws and legs ached as I hiked on. I turned, scanning the trees, and I froze suddenly as I saw a silhouette of a cat through the undergrowth— a grey figure against a white landscape and a black sky.

"Nightpaw?" I called, squinting at the figure.

I turned my head to look over my shoulder, towards where I knew the rest of my patrol was.

_Leafstar ordered us to stay in fan formation._

I hesitated, torn for a moment.

_But, what if it's Nightpaw? I have to check._

Determination and growing fear for my brother pounded in my chest. So, pushing aside my guilt, I turned and sloughed forward, head bent against the wind.

The outline of the cat stood frozen, still facing me.

"Nightpaw!" I yowled again, blinking ice crystals out of my eyes as I pushed through the snow.

I stumbled through a bramble bush, my fur getting caught in the thorns and pulled off of my shoulders. By the time I made it through that patch of undergrowth, the cat was gone. I whirled around, eyes frantically scouring the snow covered forest around me.

"Nightpaw!" I shouted in anguish, frustratedly swiping a paw across the snow in front of me.

My pads were cracked and bleeding from the cold, and they left a smear of crimson across the white. Then the bramble bush caught my eye. Next to my ginger fur, there was a small tuft of black fur caught in the thorns. I gasped, springing over to it. I shoved my face into the bush, almost poking my own eye in my haste to put my nose into the fur.

I breathed deeply and a shudder of relief shook my body as Nightpaw's familiar scent rushed over me.

 _"Lightningpaw?"_ a voice echoed from a distance, just a faint cry entwined with the howling winds.

I whipped my head towards the call with a gasp, and I took off. It wasn't until I was tearing through the forest that I realized I was much too far from the patrol to be within earshot of them. I pushed that problem aside for now.

"Nightpaw?" I shouted as I ran through the trees.

"Over here!"

My heart leapt. His voice was muffled, but it was him!

I turned to the sound of his cry and bounded through the deep snow, clawing my way up a snow bank. Then I saw a dark head with snow covered ears barely peeking out from over another snow drift.

"Nightpaw!" I gasped in relief, struggling through the snow and over to him.

"It's about time," Nightpaw meowed.

His tone sounded like he was trying to be amused, but his teeth were chattering with cold as he shivered uncontrollably.

"What wrong? Why are you—"

My voice trailed off as I saw the large hole in the snow at the base of a big tree that Nightpaw was in. Standing in the hole with more and more snow pilling on and around him, Nightpaw even with his dark coat was near invisible. My gaze drifted lower as I realized the problem that kept him trapped here. One of his white forepaws was wedged in a gap between the roots of the tree, stuck fast. His other white forepaw was stained brown and red— muddied and bloodied with broken, cracked, and bleeding claws from ripping at the roots and clawing at the frozen ground in his attempts to free himself. His trapped paw was missing fur and bleeding slightly around his ankle, rubbed raw from his attempts to pull it out of the small gap in the roots. Nightpaw shivered up at me from his hole in the snow. My eyes widened as I noticed his nose had a worryingly blue tint to it.

"There was a mouse in the roots," he meowed in explanation.

"Oh no. Nightpaw!" I meowed in concern, leaping down into the small hole next to him.

"Watch it," he hissed in irritation as I brought some more snow tumbling down with me.

I pressed my fur against Nightpaw's side to try to warm him. His body trembled with shivers as he leaned into the touch, pressing his shorter pelt against mine and shaking his head to flick snow off his ears.

"I got the mouse, though," he meowed through his chattering teeth.

I noticed the prey at his paws, the mouse's brown fur had frozen into spikes, but it was uneaten and untouched by Nightpaw.

"We have to get you out of here," I meowed.

"Yeah, I've been trying to do that," Nightpaw said, sarcasm in his voice.

I poked my head out of the hole, looking around for our clan-mates for help, but I knew that they were much too far away to stumble past here.

"Have you seen any cats around here?" I meowed. "I saw one not far from here. I thought it was you at first, actually, but when I came closer, he was gone."

Nightpaw shook his head.

"The last cat I saw was you when we were hunting together," Nightpaw meowed.

"But, that doesn't make sense," I argued. "I swear, he headed right this way."

"Look, I didn't see anyone. I've been here alone, freezing my tail off all day. If I had seen someone, I'd be out of here by now," Nightpaw snapped, his pelt prickling. "Now are you going to help me or not?"

I twitched my ears in annoyance, but he was right so I dropped it. Instead, I bent down to claw at the frozen ground beneath Nightpaw's foot.

"That's useless," Nightpaw grunted as he watched me tear up my pads and claws against the hard dirt.

"It feels like I'm scratching against rock," I gasped, wincing in pain at the two claws I had broken on one of my paws in just a few heartbeats.

Nightpaw nodded as I bent my head, lapping at the blood dripping from my torn claws.

"The ground's frozen solid. I'm pretty stuck," he agreed. "You need to get help. Just the two of us won't be able to dig enough to free my paw."

I gazed at my brother. He was shivering, obviously so cold and miserable, but he squared his jaw, putting on a brave face.

"I don't want to leave you alone," I meowed, my heart lurching.

"I'll be fine," he snapped, his ears flattening. "Just come back fast."

I hesitated for a moment, before giving a brisk nod and climbing back out of the snowy hole. Nightpaw was right, of course. I had to get help.

The wind was still whipping around, masking the forest in a snowy blanket and disguising familiar landmarks in the white. I turned back to the tree that Nightpaw was trapped at the base of and scrambled a little ways up the side, so I could score my claws down the trunk, marking it to make it easier to recognize from a distance.

"I'll be right back," I promised Nightpaw.

He nodded, and I turned, venturing back off into the forest. I ran back in what I hoped was the the way I came, bounding over the snow.

"Wolfshade?" I yowled, my lungs aching as I shouted as loud as I could. "Leafstar!"

"Lightningpaw!"

I whirled around as Wolfshade came barreling out of some nearby undergrowth, his long fur frozen into spikes and sparkling in the weak light.

"Where is StarClan's name were you?" he snapped, his green eyes flashing in anger. "We sounded off and you didn't answer!"

I ignored the accusation in his voice.

"I found Nightpaw!" I gasped. "He's stuck. We need to get the rest of the patrol to help."

"You shouldn't have wandered off alone! Now, we've been having to look for you _and_ Nightpaw!" Wolfshade hissed, his tail twitching.

My brow furrowed as a sudden rush of anger swept through me as the stress of the day, the miserable cold, and the aching of my paws finally piled up and reached a breaking point. My pelt prickled with heat, chasing away some of the snow's chill.

"Nightpaw needed me! If I hadn't wandered off, we wouldn't have found him!" I snapped, fur bristling as I turned on the warrior. "Now, are you going to help me or not?"

Wolfshade blinked at me, looking like he wanted to say more. But, he just clenched his jaw instead before turning his head to yowl over his shoulder.

"Lightningpaw's here! She's found Nightpaw! We need help!" Wolfshade shouted.

I heard faint answers call back. We waited a few heartbeats, and the rest of our patrol began to appear out of the woods.

"I told you not to go out of earshot," Leafstar hissed as she appeared from the trees, her blue gaze burning with anger and worry.

I lashed my tail.

"Punish me later. We have to get Nightpaw right now," I snapped, meeting her eyes unblinkingly.

Lionclaw hissed in a sharp intake of breath at my impertinence, and I got a pointed side-eye from Wolfshade. But, I ignored them, turning back into the forest instead.

"This way!" I called.

As the rest of the patrol trailed after me, I tried to retrace the paw-steps that I had left in the snow when I had left Nightpaw, but they had become obscured by the wind and snow still coming down from the dark clouds. Worry twinged in my chest, and I glanced around, searching for landmarks in the scenery. The snowy trees around us all looked identical. I blinked hard, pushing down a surge of panic.

The longer we walked through the woods though, the more doubt began to gnaw at my defenses, allowing more and more panic to seep through. I looked from side to side, my tail swishing with uncertainty.

_Am I going the wrong way?_

Anxiety clawed at my insides. My tail lowered and my pace slowed as I looked around more frantically, searching desperately for a hint of Nightpaw's dark pelt. Cold and panic bit at my fur.

_Oh StarClan, help me find him!_

Then I spotted it. The tree with the bark I scoured off the sides appeared from behind another tree, the stark white wounds on the side of the trunk shining in the night like a beacon. I jolted, springing forward with a renewed vigor.

"He's there!" I meowed, bounding towards the tree.

The rest of the patrol surged forward behind me. We made it to the hole, greeting a groggy and shivering, but happy Nightpaw.

With the combined force of the cats in the patrol, we were able to free Nightpaw's foot, granted, after a lot of digging and a lot of broken claws and scraped pads.

"Don't forgot the mouse," Nightpaw meowed as he cautiously lowered his weight onto his now freed, but injured paw.

Lionclaw picked it up, and Nightpaw clawed his way out of the hole in the snow on shaky legs. He was only able to take a couple of steps before collapsing, shivering too uncontrollably to go any further. I pressed my nose to Nightpaw's shoulder as he panted and shivered on the snow, trying to gather his legs under him again. Leafstar circled around him, licking his head soothingly, but every fur on her back bristled, betraying her anxiety. I shot my mother a fearful glance, feeling equally as worried. I swallowed around a lump in my throat, pressing my muzzle harder to Nightpaw's side. Sharpclaw brushed past Leafstar and I, giving Nightpaw a nudge. Nightpaw glanced up at his mentor.

"I can't walk right now. Sorry," he whispered.

Sharpclaw gave his head a shake to silence him, then he nudged his way under Nightpaw. Hoisting Nightpaw up on his broad shoulders, Sharpclaw led the way back to camp.


	14. Dawn Patrol

Thankfully, it didn't take Nightpaw long to recover after being stranded out in the cold. Once he was warmed up, his only real injuries were his ankle, which was bruised and missing fur, but not seriously injured, his exhaustion, broken claws, and the loss of the very tip of his left ear from frostbite. Once the storm had ended and a few sunrises passed, the Clan settled back into a routine of normality, and we left the panic of that snowy night behind us.

I was sharing a mouse with Creampaw down in camp in the evening when Cherrytail stopped by to tell me I would be on dawn patrol tomorrow. So, after swallowing my last mouthful, I meowed goodnight to Creampaw and headed up to bed early. Or at least, I tried to go to bed.

My thoughts were too restless for me to fall into sleep easily. My mind circled around Nightpaw continuously. Tonight he had been allowed to return to the apprentices' den from the medicine cat's, and he was back to sleeping in his nest next to me.

The memory of him shivering and weak formed in my mind.

_What would I have done if I had lost him in the snow?_

I shuddered, a deep gulf forming in my chest at the horrid thought. I gave Nightpaw a glance out of the corner of my eyes, watching his dark flanks rise and fall as he slept peacefully.

The longer I watched him, the more my anxiety slipped away as I reassured myself that he was safe. My gaze swept over his face, and I snorted softly in amusement.

Even though there wasn't much missing, I still hadn't quite gotten used to looking at his lopsided ears yet.

I rolled over, curling myself into a tight ball, and I shut my eyes again, willing sleep to come. The moments stretched on as I stayed like that, twitching slightly in my nest.

The sound of the wind blowing across the mouth of the den whistled in my ears as I felt myself drift closer to sleep. But, I stiffened as I realized the wind almost sounded like whispering. I had this odd feeling that if I just listened a little closer, I could make out words in the noise. Talking to me.

I shook my pelt, my eyes snapping open as a jolt of fear ran through me at that thought. I didn't want to hear voices in meaningless murmurs of wind.

I was restless for the rest of the night, on edge, afraid of trying to sleep, because if I did, I might hear voices in the wind again. I finally gave up on sleep when dawn wasn't too far off, and I padded out of the den and down to Rockpile, hoping that there was something small still left on the fresh-kill pile from yesterday, and I could eat it before the patrol.

The camp was eerily silent. All of the night creatures had returned to their nests, but the animals that walked in the sun had yet to wake up. The only noise in the gorge was the stirring of the wind through the trees, and the only sight was the very slowly lightening sky.

I stumbled blearily towards the fresh-kill pile. My thoughts felt like mush, as if they were a piece a prey that'd been left out too long and was starting to become crowfood. I stopped at the edge of Rockpile when I noticed there was only one small mouse left on the prey pile. I sighed and turned away. I couldn't take the last piece of prey. Even though more hunting patrols would head out today, I didn't want to leave any elders hungry. I padded over to sit next to the Rockpile, wrapping my tail tightly around myself and shivering in the cold morning air. I yawned and watched my foggy breath drift towards the slowly lightening sky when I saw a solitary cat slip into camp, carrying some prey in his mouth. He dropped the prey off and padded over to me. It took my sleepy brain several long moments to finally recognize the thick pelt and board shoulders as Wolfshade.

"What are you doing up?" I asked him, keeping my voice friendly but cautious.

I hadn't spoken to him since a few days ago, during the search for Nightpaw, and I hadn't forgotten how he had reprimanded me for wandering off. Leafstar hadn't punished me for it besides a scolding once we got back to camp. I think she was so grateful to have both her kits back and safe that she couldn't bring herself to really discipline me for disobeying her.

He flicked his tail towards the fresh-kill pile.

"I went for a night hunt," he meowed.

"How was it?" I meowed.

He glanced at me from the corner of his eye.

"Less muddy than our day hunt during your assessment, but also less fun," he meowed. "I think I was colder today than I was then. Even without the freezing rain."

I purred in reply, some warmth returning to my chest. I blinked up at him. He gazed at me for a while longer, before clearing his throat and breaking eye contact.

"So, what are _you_ doing up?" Wolfshade asked, settling down beside me. "I thought all apprentices loved to sleep 'till sunhigh."

"Ah, well not all of them," I meowed lightly. "I was just getting an early start on dawn patrol."

"Such an overachiever," Wolfshade said drily, his mew uncharacteristically playful.

He relaxed, reclining next to me. He seemed cheerful this morning, and I felt a purr building in my throat, happy that he was happy.

"What can I say? You know me," I said, shrugging with mock modesty.

"I expect nothing less from our fearless leader's daughter," Wolfshade purred.

We fell into silence as we watched the sky turn from indigo to blue. One by one, each star in Silverpelt faded and winked out of existence, gone until evening when the sun again would dip beneath the earth. I glanced over at Wolfshade, feeling a bit surprised that he had chosen to linger out in camp with me.

_I thought he'd have wanted to head up to his nest by now._

At the thought of a nest, my jaws opened in a huge yawn that wracked my body from nose to tail tip.

"Tired?" Wolfshade mewed sympathetically.

My eyes stung from lack of sleep, and I pawed at them.

"Yeah. I didn't get much sleep last night," I admitted.

My tail twitched bitterly. This constant tiredness, and yet inability to sleep, was starting to become an annoyingly regular thing.

"If you want, you can close your eyes for a little bit," Wolfshade offered. "I'll wake you when the dawn patrol forms."

"Really?" I meowed, blinking in surprise.

He nodded.

"Thanks, Wolfshade," I meowed through another yawn.

I lowered my head to my paws, and despite the chilly air, almost as soon as I shut my eyes, I was asleep.

It felt like my eyes had been closed for a mere heartbeat when a muzzle was nudging my shoulder. My eyes flickered open, and I sat up, groggy.

"Huh- wha?" I meowed, blinking hard.

"The dawn patrol is ready, and I'm heading up to my nest," Wolfshade meowed briskly, getting to his paws.

"Oh… Ok. Bye..." I said.

I rubbed my eyes with a paw. I was trying to get my thoughts in order, but my mind was hazy and disoriented from being suddenly ripped from sleep. I wanted to say something else to Wolfshade, but he had already bounded off before the another word could even pass my lips.

 _So much for being warmer than usual,_ I thought with an ear twitch.

I bent my head to give myself a quick grooming and noticed that my left side suddenly felt cold. I pressed my muzzle into the fur of my side and the faint remains of Wolfshade's pine scent drifted into my nose. Suddenly, an image flashed into my mind of me sleeping peacefully, and Wolfshade scooting over to me, pressing himself to my side to warm me from the cold morning air. My fur blazed hot at the thought, but I quickly pushed it away.

 _Why would he do that?_ I chided myself.

I must have just imagined the coolness and the scent on my fur.

I gave my head a shake to clear my mind before I sprung to my paws and dashed over to join the patrol, doing my best to push thoughts of sleep, or Wolfshade, away.

* * *

Dawn patrol, for being _dawn_ patrol was rather pleasant. It was just me, Cherrytail, Sagewhisker, and Harveymoon. I spent most of the time chatting with Sagewhisker. He was a pleasant cat, friendly, easy to talk to, and laid back. It was hard to believe Minttail was his sister.

"More rogue scent on the Southern border," Cherrytail meowed as we padded through the woods.

I opened my mouth to scent the air, and sure enough, the now familiar scents of the black-and-white rogue and Whisper drifted into my mouth. But, there were other scents now too. More cats, with the same sharp edge to their scent as Whisper and the other rogue.

"It's more than just two cat scents now," Sagewhisker said with an edge of worry in his mew.

I nodded in confirmation.

Cherrytail's tail tip twitched.

"Because they haven't taken us up on our offer to come to camp yet that makes me think that they aren't interested in joining SkyClan at all," Cherrytail meowed. "I'll talk to Leafstar when we get back because we need to make sure that this hunting in our territory doesn't become permanent. But, in the meanwhile, mark the borders twice."

As Harveymoon and Sagewhisker padded over to remark the borders, Cherrytail looked out into the trees to where the rogue scent drifted in from, her gaze thoughtful.

"What are you thinking about?" I meowed to Cherrytail as the toms returned and we continued down the border.

My stomach growled as I was asking the question. Cherrytail purred loudly as my fur prickled with embarrassment.

"That's what I'm thinking about. Leaf-bare is here and in full strength. We can't afford to lose prey to rogues. Have you seen how thin Lichenfur is getting?" Cherrytail meowed, an edge of concern in her voice for the elder.

As she spoke, her tail moved forward to curve protectively around her belly.

"You've been getting enough to eat right?" I meowed with a gasp, my fur bristling as I noticed the movement.

Her tail dropped back down.

"Oh, yes. I'm fine, Lightningpaw. You don't have to worry about me," Cherrytail said, turning to blink at me reassuringly.

"Oh… well, good. I was worried for a moment there that I might have to go track down those rogues and steal our prey back for you," I replied, a hint of amusement drifting into my voice.

Cherrytail laughed, and I relaxed after giving her another glance to make sure that she didn't look like she was lying about getting enough to eat.

As we padded along the border I lifted my nose to scent the air, trying my very hardest to search for prey scent on the cold breeze. The pain in my grumbling stomach gave my nose a sharper edge, heightening the sense so I could hunt and satisfy my hunger. A hint of rabbit drifted in on the breeze.

"I've caught a scent of rabbit!" I meowed, my muscles already clenching in excitement at the thought of such a large piece of prey.

"This isn't a hunting patrol," Harveymoon meowed.

"But, we need every bit of prey we can get," Cherrytail meowed, turning to nod at me. "Go on."

"I'll come too," Sagewhisker meowed, taking a step towards me. "In case you need back up. Rabbits can be tricky."

I nodded gratefully at Sagewhisker, then I turned, slinking into the undergrowth with Sagewhisker close at my tail.

Sagewhisker and I glided over fallen leaves with barely a whisper as I followed the prey-scent. It led us through the trees and to a holly bush. I froze when I spotted the rabbit rooting beneath the bush, trying to find shoots that survived the snow in the shelter of the dense branches. The rabbit was full sized and looked healthy, and I had to clench my stomach to stop it from growling at the sight, and possibly giving our positions away to our prey. I blinked hard a few times to sharpen my focus on the hunt. The bush the rabbit was under was too low to the ground to get a good pounce at the prey. It'd see us coming before we could get close enough to kill it, and then take off running. My ears twitched.

_So we'll use its flight to our advantage._

"I'll go around to the other side of the bush and spook it," I breathed to Sagewhisker. "Hopefully, that'll send it running straight to you."

Sagewhisker nodded, green eyes bright, and he hunkered down behind a patch of bracken in preparation. I slunk around the holly bush, giving it a wide breadth so the rabbit didn't catch sight of me or catch a whiff of my scent. Once I was opposite of Sagewhisker, I crouched, wiggled my haunches, then sprung towards the rabbit. I bounded toward the bush, reaching under the prickly branches to swipe at the rabbit with my paw. But, as I expected, the rabbit was out of reach. My attack sent the rabbit rocketing away from me, and straight into Sagewhisker. In a grey flash, he had sprung out of his hiding place and pounced on the rabbit, snapping its neck. Sagewhisker looked up at me in triumph, the rabbit hanging from his jaws.

My tail stuck up and I purred, delighted with our victory.

I bounced over to him, about to congratulate him on the catch when I saw a large shadow detach itself from the brambles behind Sagewhisker to loom over him. A sharp, rancid scent like crow-food drifted into my mouth, and the fur on my shoulders rose in fear.

"B—Behind you!" I meowed the strangled warning, tongue tripping over my words.

Sagewhisker whipped around, eyes widening as a huge dog fox stalked towards him from the shadows. Its red pelt was dull and patchy, ribs jutting from its sides, yellow eyes staring and savage from its sunken skull. The fox snarled, salvia dripping from its fangs and jowls, and it sprung at Sagewhisker with surprising speed for its starved appearance. I leapt forward with a yowl, coming to Sagewhisker's defense as he dodged the fox's snapping jaws. I slashed my claws across its shoulder, and the fox whirled on me. Sagewhisker dropped the rabbit to unburden himself, freeing his fangs. He leapt to my defense with a hiss. Sagewhisker's claws flashed across the fox's nose, causing it to growl in anger. The fox lunged forward, and Sagewhisker and I both sprung back out of its reach. But, the fox wasn't lunging for us. The fox fixed its fangs around the juicy rabbit, then reared its head back, the big piece of prey hanging from its jaws.

"Hey! That's ours!" Sagewhisker snarled, springing at the fox again.

The fox swatted at Sagewhisker with a paw, sending him sprawling from the unexpected blow. Sagewhisker stumbled back to his paws, and I advanced on the fox with a snarl, my belly rolling. The fox dropped the rabbit for a moment to snap at me with lightning speed. I leapt back, but let out a hiss of pain as I lost a huge clump of fur from my shoulder and the fox's teeth grazed my skin. I growled as I felt blood starting to well in the shallow wounds. The fox snatched the rabbit back up. Sagewhisker was readying for another attack, the fur on his slashed side darkening with blood.

"Leave it!" Cherrytail yowled, her and Haveymoon bursting through the bushes, attracted by the commotion.

She and Harveymoon turned on the fox with bristling pelts.

"But—" Sagewhisker protested, turning to look at Cherrytail.

As soon as we stopped attacking it, the fox wasted no time in whirling around and vanishing back into the forest with its prize clutched in it mouth.

"We lost our prey!" Sagewhisker snarled in frustration.

He stared at the shaking undergrowth that the fox had fled through despondently, his fur still bristling.

"One rabbit isn't worth losing your ears and tail!" Cherrytail snapped.

Sagewhisker glared at her, looking like he might want to protest again, but then he bowed his head in agreement.

"You're right," he muttered.

"Are you alright?" Cherrytail meowed to me.

I nodded, but I felt my shoulder stinging.

"It's shallow. Just a scratch," I meowed.

I turned my head to rasp my tongue over the cuts to clean them, wincing as the raw wounds ached.

"And you?" Cherrytail asked Sagewhisker.

Sagewhisker gave a nod in reply, but I glanced at him worriedly. The fur on his side was clumping with blood. I shivered, hearing the snap of the fox's jaws again in my mind, and the sight of its wild eyes and the sharpness of the its skeleton under its fur.

"That fox was starving," I muttered.

"It was," Cherrytail agreed, her voice low. "And, starvation makes creatures desperate and dangerous. We need to head back and report it to Leafstar. Our clan-mates need to be aware of the danger, and this fox needs to be be tracked down and chased out of our territory before it steals more prey."

"If it came across a lone cat, that fox would have done a lot worst than just steal prey," Harveymoon muttered darkly. "We'd be its meal."

Sagewhisker and I exchanged a wide-eyed glance. Cherrytail nodded in agreement with Harveymoon, her tail unconsciously curling forward over her belly again.

I shuddered, turning to look the ground at my feet, and I watched as the crimson droplets that had beaded in my shoulder wound dripped down to mingle with the blood of the rabbit.


	15. The Fox

Leafstar lifted her tail in the center of camp to summon our Clan to her, turning towards the path that lead to Skyrock. I stretched and rose to my paws. It was a night of the full moon again; time for another Gathering. I tried to shake the cold off of my fur as I padded alongside my clan-mates, following my mother.

The Clan climbed the trail to Skyrock, leaping onto its huge, flat surface one by one. After four moons of gatherings, I no longer felt nervous about the jump. When I was my turn, I took a running start before springing. On the other side, I landed safely several tail lengths away from the edge, but I hissed softly in pain, flexing my shoulder and feeling the newly sealed skin from the cut the fox bite left stretch uncomfortably.

As I turned my head to rasp my tongue down the sealing wound a few times, I saw Wolfshade already seated on Skyrock. He turned, meeting my gaze with his own.

I stopped my grooming, my ears pricking.

A part of me wanted to go over to him, and my stomach flipped with nervousness at that urge. I enjoyed his company when we were assigned on patrols together, but I didn't see him outside of that very much. In my little bit of free time outside of training, chores, and patrolling, I mostly stuck to hanging out with the other apprentices, or with Lionclaw, Briarspot, and Ravenfur. I wasn't bold enough to approach Wolfshade in camp to chat uninvited.

I broke eye contact with him to rasp my tongue self-consciously down my chest a few times.

What would we even talk about if I did?

I glanced back over at him to see that he was still watching me. I held my breath and took a step in his direction.

"Lightningpaw, come sit next to us," Sagewhisker called from the center of Skyrock with Lionclaw at his side.

I stopped mid-step, my ears rotating towards Sagewhisker's voice. I cast a final glance at Wolfshade. His gaze flickered away from me as Minttail padded over to him to sit at his side. He turned his head so that she could whisper something into his ear. I swallowed and turned aside, walking over to Sagewhisker. I took a seat next to the grey tabby warrior, shaking off a stupid sting of rejection that sparked on my pelt.

 _Stop it._ I scolded myself. _It's not like I couldn't've sat next to Wolfshade if I wanted. I just chose to go to Sagewhisker and Lionclaw instead._

I tried to focus on the conversation Sagewhisker and Lionclaw were having. Lionclaw was chatting happily to us about a good hunting spot he'd found when Leafstar strode onto the center of Skyrock and raised her tail for silence.

"It is another full moon, and so we begin our Gathering," Leafstar meowed. "We're going through a difficult leaf-bare. Prey is scarce. There was a terrible snowfall, and Nightpaw got caught in it, but thanks to the combined efforts of our clan mates, he was rescued and is now safe and sound."

Leafstar gave the Clan an approving nod and there were mutters of appreciation as cats looked around at each other. I gazed around at my clan-mates as well, but I paused my scanning of the crowd as I spotted an unfamiliar silhouette seated at the very edge of Skyrock. I felt the fur on my shoulders rise as uncomfortable sensation of deja vu settled over me.

"Who's that?" I whispered to Sagewhisker, nodding towards the cat.

"Who?" Sagewhisker meowed, brow furrowing.

"There—" I meowed.

"Shh," Lionclaw hissed, cutting me off.

My brow furrowed deeply.

"…There is still rogue scent on our borders," Leafstar was meowing.

I cast a glance at Lionclaw before turning to look at the silhouette again, but it was gone. My stomach clenched.

I scanned my seated clan-mates, but whoever the stranger was, he had vanished. I turned back around, letting out a soft hiss of frustration.

 _Why didn't Sagewhisker see him? And, where did he go?_ _How had that cat even gotten up here? He must have taken the trail, right? That's the only way…_

I blinked, narrowing my eyes.

_Or, perhaps I only imagined him. Or, it was only one of my clan-mates that I didn't recognize for some reason._

I shook my head, trying to silence my thoughts, but my belly still rolled with unease as began listening to my mother again.

"…And, as you all know, we are still being threatened by a fox. It is large and dangerous, do not engage it alone. No apprentices are allowed out of camp without a warrior with them while the fox is still in our territory," Leafstar finished.

The Clan around me nodded in agreement.

"It's a good thing that the nursery is empty right now, with that fox hanging around. Who knows what it would do to kits," Clovertail meowed with a shudder.

Leafstar nodded to her.

"Quite right, Clovertail. Does anyone else have any announcements to make?" Leafstar meowed.

"…Well, the nursery might be empty for now, but it won't stay like that very long," Cherrytail meowed, looking uncharacteristically shy as she rose to her paws. "Sharpclaw and I are expecting kits!"

Sharpclaw was sitting at Cherrytail's side, and at her announcement he raised his chin, pride and happiness shining in his green eyes. He swept his ginger tail over Cherrytail's flank, pressing himself closer to her.

The Clan exclaimed their congratulations, leaving Cherrytail purring happily, delight plain on her face.

"That's great news, Cherrytail," Leafstar purred. "Despite leaf-bare, SkyClan will continue to grow in strength with the addition of new kits."

"And, I'm sure the fox will be taken care of before your kits arrive," Clovertail meowed, looking like she felt bad for her earlier comment about the empty nursery.

We stayed on Skyrock for a while longer as my clan-mates shared rather mundane pieces of news about good hunting spots or where they found some soft moss. When the moon began to lower some in the sky, Leafstar announced that the Gathering was over, and we returned to camp to head to our nests.

After I padded into the apprentice den behind Nightpaw, I curled up in my nest, my eyes quickly drifting shut. In a rare turn of events, sleep washed over me easily. I dropped into the comforting darkness, where I was immediately swept into a dream.

I was padding through camp. The night sky was starless, covered by rolling black storm clouds. I shivered despite the warm and humid air, a sense of unease running up my spine. Whispers began to hiss in my ears. I whipped around, trying to figure out where they were coming from, and I tensed as ominous shadows crept around me, coming in from the corners of my vision.

"Who's there?" I hissed, baring my teeth threateningly but my heartbeat pounded in fear. "Show yourself!"

I whirled around again, trying to make sense of the shapes in the darkness, but I could never catch a good look. The shadows stuck to the edge of my vision no matter where I glanced, but the shadows grew bigger and bigger as the whispers grew louder and louder. My chest heaved in terror as the whispers suddenly turned into hisses and yowls and the darkness surged up, blotting out all of my vision.

I woke with a gasp, my eyes snapping open. I was twitching in my nest, my heart racing beneath my ribs. I let out a sharp sight of relief that I was safe in my den, but, to my surprise, the whispering hadn't stopped. I caught a flicker of movement in the corner of my vision, and I saw Creampaw and Seedpaw creeping out of the den, whispering together. They hadn't noticed me wake. My brow furrowed as I looked at them.

_Where are they going?_

Seedpaw cast a nervous glance over her shoulder, and I quickly narrowed my eyes to tiny slits so I appeared asleep.

_Maybe to the dirt-place?_

I watched the young apprentices vanish out of the mouth of the den.

_But why would they go to the dirt-place in the middle of the night, whispering together like a pair of fugitives?_

I sighed to myself. Honestly, a part of me wanted to curl up in my nest, go back to sleep, and pretend like I hadn't seen anything. But, I remembered the snap of the fox's fangs too clearly to allow Creampaw and Seedpaw to just wander off in the middle of the night alone, and do… whatever it was that they were doing.

Grumbling quietly to myself, I rose from my nest and padded to the mouth of the den without disturbing Nightpaw.

I poked my head out of the cozy cave and was greeted by a gust of cold night air over my whiskers. I squinted into the breeze as I scanned the area for the apprentices. A flicker of movement at the edge of the camp caught my attention. They were there, slinking through the shadows and around the corner of the gorge, heading towards the undergrowth of the forest. My tail-twitching, I twisted my head to look over the warrior on watch on Skyrock at the other end of the camp. The dark silhouette hadn't seemed to notice the escaping apprentices.

I heaved a sigh and reluctantly stepped out into the cold night, heading down the cliff after Seedpaw and Creampaw.

I slunk out of camp the same way they took, their scents fresh in my nose.

_If I move quickly, I should be able to catch them and bring them back to camp before anyone notices we're gone._

I furrowed my brow determinedly and picked up my pace.

I followed their scent trail at a brisk jog, weaving through the forest undergrowth, ears pricked and wary for the sounds of approaching predators. Their scent went deep into the forest, meandering without direction from here to there. I increased my stride to gain ground on them. Irritation at the fact that I was running through the forest in the middle of the night to save these mouse-brains stung at my paws, fueling my speed as I galloped through the undergrowth. Their scent grew stronger, and my ears swiveled, picking up the sound of crunching leaves under paws ahead.

Then two screams tore through the still night air, raising the fur on my shoulders and filling my stomach with icy fear and worry. I doubled down into a sprint, my paws flying as I tore through the night.

"Creampaw! Seedpaw!" I yowled as the shrieks continued.

I gritted my teeth, muscles burning as I sprinted towards their cries as fast as I could. I burst through the undergrowth, the familiar rotting scent of crowfood rushing over me, bristling the fur on my shoulders.

_The fox._

I took the scene in without slowing my run. The fox stood in the middle of a clearing, moonlight turning its patchy fur silver colored. Its eyes were as sunken and empty as I remembered them, but it still had some strength left in its wiry muscles, and it had Seedpaw's hind leg in its jaws. Seedpaw twisted in the fox's grip, scratching at its muzzle, while Creampaw clung to its shoulder, shrieking, and batting at its head with her paws in a futile attempt to free her sister.

I opened my jaws, a battle cry bursting from my throat as I launched myself at the fox without breaking stride. I slammed into the side of the fox's face hard, the force of my leap violently snapping its head to the side. Its jaws opened and Seedpaw sprung free, scrambling out of reach, bleeding from her leg, but not fatally. Creampaw took the opportunity from my attack to leap off of the fox and dash to check on her sister. I landed on the ground, pivoting so I could face the fox, a hiss on my lips. The fox glared at me, fury burning in its eyes.

I could tell it was mad I had freed its food from its grip.

 _"Get out of here!"_ I spat at it, arching my back, baring my teeth and hissing as menacingly as I could manage.

The fox sprung at me with unexpected speed.

I screeched in surprise, leaping away as the fox's jaws snapped shut only a whisker-length away from the tip of my tail. I whirled to face the fox again, fur bristling in fear.

_It almost ate a part of my **tail!**_

The fox lunged again, but this time I was more prepared. I shoved aside my fear, and remembering my battle training, I leapt straight into the air and twisted so I could land on the fox's back. I sunk my claws into its skin under its thin pelt. I bit at its neck and back, clawing and damaging it as much as I could. The fox growled, giving its pelt a sharp shake. I wobbled, losing my balance for a moment. I was almost dislodged, but then I braced myself, sinking my claws deeper into its flesh. I sunk my fangs deep into the fox's neck, feeling a vicious jolt of satisfaction when my mouth flooded with the salty tang of blood.

A flash of motion caught my eye, and I noticed too late that I had carelessly let one of my forepaw slip too far down the fox's shoulder and into its reach.

The fox whipped its head to the side, managing to grip my foreleg in its jaws. I shrieked as it yanked its head back around, pulling me off of its back. It released its jaws, throwing me across the clearing. I landed with a thud, bruising my side. My bitten leg ached, but not so badly that I was beaten.

 _Ignore the pain,_ I fiercely thought to myself, heaving myself back to my feet.

"Lightningpaw! Are you alright?" Seedpaw shouted from the other side of the clearing.

She and Creampaw stood with their claws out and fur bristling, but they looked unsure of what to do.

I cautiously put weight back on my hurt leg as the fox rounded on me, stalking closer. My ankle throbbed, making my eyes water in pain, but it held.

"I'm fine," I meowed back, not taking my eyes off of the fox. "We just need to—"

I flinched as the fox lunged, its yellow eyes burning and its red-stained jaws opening wide.

A fluffy shadow shot out of the bushes, leaping in front of me and onto the fox's face and clawing at its eyes.

"Run!" the strange cat hissed as it sprung back off of the fox's face.

I recognized the distinctive rasp of Whisper, the rogue.

The fox shook its head, bright red blood flying like scarlet rain. It turned away from me and towards Whisper, its growl deep and furious. Creampaw and Seedpaw shot me a look, but wasted no time in obeying Whisper. They took off into the forest, heading back towards camp.

I hesitated.

The fox had rounded on Whisper. Whisper hissed, a terrible grating sound, and slowly backed up, luring the fox away from the direction that Creampaw and Seedpaw ran in. The fox opened its jaws at Whisper, revealing yellowed teeth, wet with salvia that glistened sickeningly in the moonlight, and I could smell the stinking reek of its hot breath from tail-lengths away.

A growl rumbled in my chest. I wasn't going to abandoned the cat that saved me and let her become fox-food. My muscles tensing, I stepped towards the fox, intent on helping Whisper.

"Go!" a voice hissed from the shadows of a nearby bush.

I jerked in surprise, turning to see an unfamiliar white rogue glaring at me with bright green eyes.

"There may be more foxes. Help your friends. We can handle this," the white rogue said.

I paused blinking hard. I still wanted to help Whisper, but she had back-up, while Creampaw and Seedpaw were injured, alone, and inexperienced. The white she-cat was right; those two could still be in danger. The decision made, I gave the rogue a brisk nod.

I turned and ran. I looked back over my shoulder and watched the white rogue launch herself out of the bushes to hit the fox, clawing at its shoulders. Then the white rogue sprung back off and she and Whisper vanished into the shadows with the fox in hot pursuit of them.

I turned my gaze back forward and concentrated on following Creampaw and Seedpaw's scents. They had made a clear trail back to camp.

My injured leg was thoroughly aching by the time I rounded the corner of the gorge.

"There she is!" I heard Seedpaw gasp.

I felt a twinge of gratitude when I saw that she and her sister had made it back alright. Our camp was no longer empty. Many warriors had gathered around Seedpaw and Creampaw, Leafstar and Sharpclaw among them. Other cats poked their heads out of dens and Echosong was running from the medicine cat's den to Seedpaw with herb and cobwebs to bandage her bitten hind leg.

Panting, I limped over to the group of cats, my body sagging with exhaustion.

"What is StarClan's name happened here?" Leafstar hissed to me, her eyes flashing in the moonlight.

My stomach flipped, and I swallowed hard. I'd never seen my mother look so furious.

"I saw Creampaw and Seedpaw sneaking out of the den. I was worried about them being alone with the fox in the forest, so I followed them to bring them back," I meowed, forcing myself to raise my chin under the heat of my mother's gaze.

Leafstar turned to look at the younger apprentices.

"And, why were you two leaving camp?" she asked.

Creampaw and Seedpaw exchanged an ashamed glance.

"We thought we could find the fox and chase it out of the territory, so it wouldn't steal our prey or hurt anyone else," Creampaw muttered, scuffling her paws on the sandy ground.

Leafstar shook her head, looking like she was precariously clinging by a single claw to her composure. She inhaled a deep breath.

"You disobeyed my _direct_ _orders_ by leaving camp without a warrior. You could've been killed." Her voice vibrated with barely concealed fury.

She turned her gaze back on me.

 _"All_ of you," she rumbled.

My pelt prickled with indignation.

"I only went after them to stop them!" I protested.

"Then you should have gotten a warrior to go with you!" Leafstar snapped, her eyes flashing as her calm facade finally slipped away.

My ears flattened against my head.

"If I had waited Creampaw and Seedpaw might've died," I said, planting my paws stubbornly.

 _"Don't try to argue with me, Lightningpaw!"_ Leafstar yowled.

The warriors around us watched our exchange in silence. I glanced around, searching for support in the crowd, and caught a glimpse of Cherrytail from behind my mother. My heart sank to see the disappointed look on her face. I bowed my head to my mother, clenching my jaw.

"Lightningpaw did save me when the fox had me by my leg," Seedpaw interrupted softly.

"And, she fought the fox all by herself until the rogues showed up," Creampaw added.

"The rogues?" Leafstar echoed, her anger broken by a flash of surprise.

Her eyes flickered from me to Creampaw, then back.

"The red rogue named Whisper came to help fight the fox. There was a white she-cat with her too that I haven't seen before," I muttered. "They rescued us. They distracted the fox and told us to run while they lured it away."

Leafstar turned to her deputy.

"Sharpclaw, take a patrol and follow their scent trail. Make sure the rogues don't need help getting away from the fox," Leafstar meowed. "We owe them that at least for saving three of our apprentices' lives."

Sharpclaw gave a brisk nod. He gathered up a large patrol of cats from the warriors around him with a wave of his tail, and they bounded out of camp.

"As for you three…" Leafstar meowed, turning back to us, her eyes narrowing.

Echosong, finished with Seedpaw, sent the younger apprentice to the medicine cat's den for the night before padding over to me and beginning to apply herbs to my bitten leg to ward off infection. I winced as the herb juices stung the already painfu bite.

"I will leave it up to your mentors to decide your punishments," Leafstar finished, giving her tail a sharp lash.

I opened my jaws to protest before snapping them back shut when Leafstar shot me a challenging look, daring me to argue more. I gave her a stiff, formal nod, and my mother whirled around.

"Back to your nests, everyone," she ordered.

Cats began to disperse, slowly returning to their dens. I watched Brackenstorm bound up to Leafstar as she padded over to the cliff trail. He bent his head to murmur something in her ear, and her tense shoulders relaxed a bit as they headed back up to their den.

"You're good," Echosong meowed to me, finishing with the herbs on my leg. "You can sleep in your den tonight. But, be sure to check with me about the bite for the next few days, so I can make sure it doesn't get infected."

I gave her a nod and turned towards the apprentice den, every hair on my pelt aching to be back in my nest.

"You shouldn't have gone after Creampaw and Seedpaw like that."

My ears prickled in surprise and swiveled towards the sound of Wolfshade's voice. He was one of the last warriors still left in camp. I turned to him as he padded up to me, his grey fur glinting silver in the moonlight.

"You could have died," he meowed.

My tail twitched as hot irritation swirled in me.

"Yeah, Leafstar just pointed that out," I muttered. "But, I didn't."

I tried not to let my annoyance show in my voice, but I failed. I couldn't help it. My patience had worn thin. I was exhausted, and fed up with being scolding for trying to save my clan-mates' lives. Irritation was bubbling awfully close to the surface.

"You could have gotten me to go with you," Wolfshade pointed out, shooting me a glance out of narrowed eyes.

I think I could detect an edge of irritation in his mew too.

"Or, literally any other warrior," he added.

"Look, could you save it?" I snapped, my pelt bristling. "I just heard all this from my mother."

"That's because it's important!" he said, green eyes flashing in the low light.

"You have no right to reprimand me," I shot back hotly. "You're not my mentor. I don't need you telling me what to just because you're a warrior."

"I know! I just want you to be safe—" he stopped himself suddenly, brow furrowing.

I waited for him to finish, my tail-tip twitching.

"…Look, just don't get yourself killed, alright?" Wolfshade finally muttered, turning away from me.

"Yeah, fine. Deal," I said, my irritation waning somewhat as I saw his shadowed face.

He didn't say anything else. I almost wanted him to, but instead I just gave my head a small shake, brushing by him to pad up to my den.


	16. New Mentor

"Watch it!" Lichenfur snapped, recoiling from the mouse-bile soaked moss that hung precariously from the stick in my mouth.

Her tail lashed.

"If you get that on my fur, the scent won't come out for a moon!" she meowed.

"Sorry," I muttered around the stick, my nose wrinkling at the horrid smell that wafted up from the mouse-bile.

I bent to dab the mouse-bile on the tick at the base of Lichenfur's neck, a bit more carefully this time.

_How do the elders even manage to get all these ticks? It's not like they ever leave the camp!_

Lichenfur muttered something about clumsy apprentices, and I tried to keep my tail tip from twitching.

Cherrytail had put me care of the elders as a punishment for the fox incident. I've barely been out of camp since then, even though there'd been no sign of the fox since. The patrol sent after the rogues that night came back with no news. The fox had vanished along with Whisper and the white she-cat.

 _Maybe that's a good thing,_ I mused. _If the fox had got them we would've found a body, right?_

My stomach lurched as an image appeared in my head of the fox devouring them.

_Or, a lot of blood at least..._

The tick finally dropped off the neck of the elder, wiggling weakly on the floor of the den. Lichenfur speared it with her claw, giving a satisfied purr as the parasite died.

"Is that the last of them?" I mumbled around the twig in my mouth.

"Yes it is," Lichenfur meowed with a pleased shake of her head.

I padded over to Tangled, the mouse-bile still in my jaws.

"Woah," Tangled growled, pulling away from me. "I don't need you drippin' that all over my pelt like you did to Lichenfur, thank you very much. I've lived on my own far longer than you've even been alive! Longer than even your mother, Leafstar, has been alive, for that matter. I can handle my own ticks, don't need no uppity young daughter of a kittypet doin' it for me."

My eyes flashed as I clenched my jaw around the stick in my mouth in annoyance.

"If you want to have your blood eaten by bugs, that's fine with me. Just don't call me a kittypet. I've never put one whisker in a two-leg's den. I'm no more kittypet than you are," I meowed, glaring at the old cat.

He just gave a snort and shook his patchy pelt in reply.

"I'll bring some prey up for you," I muttered, turning towards the den entrance.

 _Elders!_ I thought in exasperation.

I padded down the side of the cliff, making a stop at the medicine cat's den to return the mouse-bile to Echosong. Then I turned towards the fresh-kill pile. I saw two good looking mice on top that looked fresh enough to placate even Lichenfur's complaining about the quality of her prey.

As I bent my head to pick up the mice, my ears pricked as I noticed a patrol consisting of Shrewtooth, Sagewhisker, Brackenstorm, Nettlesplash, and Briarspot padding out of camp.

I watched them go with envy and longing, flexing my claws into the ground and wishing that I could be leaving with them.

As the border patrol padded out, they brushed past a returning hunting patrol. At its head was Ebonyclaw, followed by Egg, Wolfshade, Fallowfern, and Waspwhisker. The large hunting patrol came back with only two sparrows, a mouse, and a squirrel. Waspwhisker was empty pawed and looked disappointed for it.

My stomach clenched in stress and in hunger at the sight. Although the weather has becoming a bit milder, we were not out of the claws of leaf-bare yet.

"For the elders?" Ebonyclaw meowed to me with a nod at the mice in my mouth.

I nodded as she dropped her sparrow onto the pile.

"Good," she meowed, casting a glance at the small pile with a sigh.

I heard her belly rumble, but she stepped away from the prey.

_Is she going to only eat the kittypet food at her two-leg den again?_

I watched the black she-cat pad away, a bit of admiration for her dedication to the Clan prickling at my pelt.

As I turned aside, I almost bumped into Wolfshade, who was heading over to drop the squirrel on the pile.

"Oh, sorry," I muttered, side-stepping.

"No problem," he meowed, moving around me and accidentally brushing his pelt against mine.

My stomach flipped at the touch.

 _Stop that!_ I scolded myself and forced my paws to bound away.

Wolfshade and I hadn't really spoken since the fox attack, although I'd accidentally caught myself more that once gazing after him and missing his company.

I shook my head, doing my best to shake the image of the dark tom out of my head as I scaled the cliff at a sprint. Thankfully, the weird nervous energy in my belly had dissipated by the time I entered the elders' den.

I dropped the mice off for them and slipped back outside, trying to convince myself that I wasn't secretly hoping Wolfshade was still hanging around by the fresh-kill pile.

I gave the camp a quick scan, but he was gone again. My tail-tip drooped in disappointment for a heartbeat, before I forced it straight again.

 _Why am I disappointed? It's not like I actually wanted to see him, remember?_ I chided myself.

 _Stop deluding yourself, mouse-brain._ Another thought whispered in my mind.

I padded back down into camp, giving my head a shake. I was again trying to push all of the confusing feelings out of my mind when I spotted Cherrytail padding over to me. I perked up at the sight of my mentor. We hadn't spoken often for the past few days, as she expected me to just go about my punishment without needing her supervision.

"Well?" she meowed, coming over to me.

"…Yes?" I asked hesitantly, uncertain if she was still angry at me for getting in trouble.

I could not read her feelings on her face.

"Have you learned your lesson?" Cherrytail asked.

I hesitated a moment.

"…Let the younger apprentices run off in the middle of the night and be eaten by foxes without interfering?" I replied cheekily, deciding to gamble on her being in a good mood.

My risk paid off.

Cherrytail burst into laughter, her sides shaking with purrs.

"Yes. That's exactly what I meant," she meowed, warmth in her green eyes.

I purred in reply, relief blossoming in my chest to see that she had forgiven me for the fox.

"I won't leave camp without alerting a warrior and try to take on a fox again," I meowed, growing more serious.

Cherrytail's purrs slowly quieted down.

"Good," she said with a nod to me, her bright eyes flashing.

Cherrytail turned aside to pad away.

"Your training will resume tomorrow," she meowed over her shoulder.

* * *

As the days passed, training went on as usual, despite the persistent insomnia that still plagued many of my nights, leaving me tired and groggy in the morning. But, I enjoyed every day that I spent going out on border patrols or hunting. After being stuck in camp caring for the elders for so long, I wouldn't take hunting or patrolling for granted again.

I noticed some changes with Cherrytail as the days went on. She got tired more easily, slowed down some, and her belly became more plump. Sharpclaw was very protective of her too. If he could, he would spend every second at her side, but Cherrytail would not retire to the nursery until she was good and ready. And, I could tell Sharpclaw's persistent presence at her shoulder was starting to grate on the independent she-cat.

"I'm expecting kits, not dying," she hissed to him one day after a bought of fighting practice, in which he wanted her to not participate.

Sharpclaw looked taken aback, but didn't reply and instead padded over to the side of the clearing to join Nightpaw.

I noticed with a jolt how grown-up my brother looked. He had always been a tall cat, but seeing him standing next to Sharpclaw, his shoulders board, and his body well-muscled under his short black pelt, I realized that he had become one of the biggest cats in the Clan, rivaling Sharpclaw, Sparrowpelt, Wolfshade, and Lionclaw in size. I looked over to Cherrytail, who was lashing her tail irritably while standing at my side. But, I noticed for the first time, my shoulders were taller than hers, and my legs corded with harden muscles from moons of training. I must only have less than a moon of training left... maybe Cherrytail's stubbornness to remain my mentor would pay off, and she would be able to see me through to my warrior's ceremony after all.

As the sun set, Cherrytail and I walked back to camp from the training clearing notably _without_ Sharpclaw and Nightpaw.

_I suppose Cherrytail is still mad at her mate for trying to convince her to take it easy._

We were about halfway back to the gorge when Cherrytail sighed abruptly.

"I'm moving to the nursery tomorrow. I've asked Leafstar to find you another mentor," she announced, her tail-tip twitching.

My ears pricked in surprise.

"What? Are you sure?" I asked, turning to her.

Honestly, I had began to think that Cherrytail wasn't going to the nursery until the day of her kitting.

"Yes, it's time," she said with a sigh, her voice heavy with disappointment.

My brow furrowed in concern at her tone. I cut in front of her suddenly to halt her in her tracks.

"Listen to me," I meowed seriously, gazing deeply into her eyes. "You've been a great mentor to me, and I've loved every heartbeat I've spent with you. But, you're heading down a new, exciting path now. Don't be sad because of it. I know you're going to be a wonderful mother."

Cherrytail blinked at me, silent. Then, slowly, she walked over to bury her muzzle in my shoulder.

"When did you become so wise, my little apprentice," she meowed into my shoulder fur.

I purred, but a sudden spark of sadness kindled in me.

_I'll miss training with you. You're my mentor and my friend._

"I've learned from the best," I joked around the lump in my throat, rasping my tongue down her shoulder. "And, besides, I can always stop by the nursery and visit you if I'm in need of any more of your wise advice."

Cherrytail looked up at me.

"One day, you will a great warrior, Lightningpaw," she meowed solemnly.

I blinked in silence, a bit taken aback by the compliment.

"T—thank you," I managed to reply.

Cherrytail simply purred, and we continued back to camp

Once we padding into the gorge and headed into the center of the camp, Leafstar bounded up to us.

"Hello," I purred, greeting my mother warmly.

"Lightningpaw," Leafstar purred in reply. "Has Cherrytail told you the news?"

"Yes," Cherrytail replied for me.

"Have you found me a new mentor?" I asked my mother, curiosity swirling in me about who it would be.

I quickly shifted through the likely possibilities.

_Sparrowpelt doesn't have an apprentice anymore since Lionclaw is a warrior. He might be a good match. Although Petalnose might be one as well. There's also a lot of younger warriors who are available. Oh no... I won't get Minttail for a mentor will I?! No, Leafstar wouldn't do that to me..._

"Yes," Leafstar replied, snapping me out of my thoughts. "Although, you won't need one for long. In less than a moon you and your brother will take your final assessments."

I purred with delight, my tail curling up. My mother looked at me, eyes shining with pride.

"But, for now, Wolfshade will be your mentor," Leafstar continued.

I froze, then blinked, not sure if I heard her correctly. I tilted my head at Leafstar.

_Wolfshade?_

I opened my mouth, and then closed it again, feeling anxiety twist at my stomach.

Out of all the cats in the Clan, why him?

I mean, if I was being honest... there was a part of me that was delighted to spend more time with him... But, this was not the way I wanted that time to be spent! I didn't want it to be the structured, proper relationship between a mentor and an apprentice.

The conversations Wolfshade and I have had together have mostly been fun and light-hearted. But, the fur down my back prickled as I imagined him now bossing me around, telling me to change the nursery bedding or bring the elders food.

I already felt like keeling over.

Leafstar must have noticed my conflicted expression, but she misread the thoughts that whirled in my head.

"Do you not think he's a good fit? Wolfshade might be a bit reserved, but he's a fine young warrior, highly skilled in combat too," she meowed. "You've seemed to get along with him in the past. This is also a good chance for me to evaluate him. He's been a bit hard for me to get a read on about if he'd do well with an apprentice or not, and since you won't be needing a mentor for much longer, it seemed the perfect opportunity to see how he does before I assign him an apprentice for many moons."

I blinked hard a few times, no words coming to me.

"Is that alright with you?" Leafstar prompted, still looking for a response.

"Uh, yes. Fine," I said, giving my head a shake to snap myself out of it.

I stiffly padded after Leafstar, deeper into camp. I spotted Wolfshade by the base of the Rockpile, and he came bounding over to us when Leafstar gave him a nod.

I came to an awkward stop when I halted my gait too quickly. I shifted my stance, legs uncomfortable. I was suddenly uncertain about what to do with my paws.

_Do what you always do with your paws, mouse-brain._

My ears warmed in embarrassment. All of a sudden, I felt like I just didn't know how to act in front of Wolfshade. As he padded up to me, Leafstar, and Cherrytail, I studied him, trying to remember the last time I had a conversation with him.

It was a several sunrise ago. We were on a hunting patrol together and he was trying to convince me that rabbit was the best tasting prey, better than even a thrush, which is my favorite. I was having none of it. Rabbit is really great, but thrush wins every time.

"Hey," I meowed to Wolfshade, giving him a nod.

"Hello," he replied.

_Has he's noticed my behavior? Does he know I'm acting weird?_

My pelt prickled self-consciously.

"Cherrytail will be moving to the nursery tonight, so you'll be taking on mentoring Lightningpaw from now on," Leafstar meowed.

"I'd be happy to," Wolfshade meowed in reply, sounding very formal.

He glanced at me, and I immediately looked away.

_Well if he didn't think you were acting weird before, he must sure think it now. Nice going._

I wasn't sure how it was possible, but my ears felt even warmer than before. I saw him turn away from me to look at Leafstar.

"I've been looking forward to having an apprentice." It felt like Wolfshade was speaking about me in a strangely detached way.

I clenched my jaw, silent frustration suddenly bubbling in me.

 _Well,_ **_he's_ **_the weird one, not me. He'll playfully argue with me about what the best prey is, then act like this. Like he barely knows me, like I'm only some apprentice._

I closed my eyes briefly, a heavy realization settling over me.

_I don't want to just be some apprentice to him._

I opened my eyes again, and I forced my eyes up to Wolfshade's when I felt his gaze on my pelt.

"I look forward to training with you," he meowed very formally.

I dipped my head.

"Likewise," I said cooly.


	17. Tension

A hint of new-leaf gave the air a sweet tinge as Wolfshade and I padded side by side through the trees. We were walking in silence, but it wasn't the comfortable silence that once hung between us and made me feel at ease with his presence. This one was tense and heavy, charged with unspoken words, misunderstanding, and misdirected frustration. And, admittedly... most of those feelings were on my part.

I sighed quietly to myself.

It had been several sunrises since Wolfshade was assigned to be my new mentor, and things hadn't gotten any easier for me since then. I could hardly bring myself to speak to him on patrol, while we used to chat so often together before. Now I only replied to him when he asked me a direct question. And, when he suggested that I do something, I just silently and sullenly went about it, glaring at the ground all the while.

I knew Wolfshade noticed my change in behavior. I could feel him watching me intently, his tail-tip twitching with what seemed to be irritation, but he wouldn't say anything about it.

While I was well aware that I was being withdrawn myself, I was equally aware that he too had put a distance between us that hadn't been there before. He didn't bring up any sort of casual conversation topics that we used to happily chat about before, instead everything he spoke about was entirely focused on training.

My tail twitched mutinously.

_It feels like he's ignoring me on purpose. I'm just an apprentice to him now._

I couldn't help but comparing him to Cherrytail. She and I had plenty of fun conversations outside of training. Even back when I was a very young apprentice and training was more intense! But, Wolfshade seemed like he could no longer be bothered to talk to me at all.

I jutted my chin out stubbornly.

_Well if he's not going to reach out to me, then why should I to him?_

Today we were on an early morning hunt. Ravenfur and Clovertail were also a part of our patrol, but we had split off from them a little while back to cover more ground, leaving just Wolfshade and I alone in the forest. The air between us was heavy with tension and awkwardness, feeling as thick as the air before a thunderstorm in green-leaf. I sighed softly to myself again, wishing dearly that our companions hadn't left us. If they had still been around, I would be able to talk to them. And, I would be able to better ignore _him._

"You're acting weird," Wolfshade meowed suddenly, breaking the silence between us, but not defusing any of the tension in the air.

My ears jerked up in surprise.

"I'm not," I replied almost immediately.

It was a blatant lie of course, but I had been caught off guard so the reaction was instinctual.

_So, he does want to talk about it... But, why is he just bringing it up now?_

My ears flattened. I also felt like I didn't owe Wolfshade an explanation of my weird behavior when he was doing the same thing to me.

_I wouldn't even be acting this way if he wasn't acting **that** way._

"Really? You've hardly said two words to me in days," he said in his deep mew, eyeing me out of the corner of his eyes.

"Well, you haven't been that talkative yourself," I pointed out hotly, meeting his gaze for a moment before stubbornly turning my eyes forward again.

Wolfshade opened his mouth like he wanted to say something in reply to that, but then he just closed it again, brow furrowing. We continued to walk along, silence falling over us again. My jaws stretched wide in a yawn that wracked my body.

"Tired?" Wolfshade commented.

My ear twitched in his direction, but I didn't waste the effort to turn my head to look at him.

"I don't sleep very well most of the time," I muttered. "I have weird dreams."

"Oh… I'm sorry," Wolfshade meowed.

For a moment I felt a spark of warmth towards him unfurl in my chest at the empathy, but I bottled it up and pushed it aside, clenching my jaw stubbornly against the feeling.

_Why is he acting like he wants to be friends again, when he's been so frosty for the past quarter moon?_

I took a breath, pulling the air into my mouth, hoping to take my thoughts off of the matter with the hunt.

The scents of the forest soothed my troubled mind with their familiar smells, and also provided a welcome distraction from Wolfshade. The faint scent of finch drifted into my mouth. I turned my face towards the scent, pricking my ears as I tried to decipher where it was coming from exactly. Wolfshade recognized the look of quiet concentration on my face. He scented the air, but seemed to not catch the scent of prey, since he just turned to gaze at me, waiting.

 _I'm good at tracking scents,_ I thought smugly. _Better than him._

I felt a small surge of bitter happiness at the thought, quickly followed by a rush of guilt.

 _You shouldn't make yourself feel better by feeling superior to your clan-mates!_ I scolded myself.

Having better located the direction the scent was coming from, I pushed those thoughts away.

Without a word, I turned aside from Wolfshade and padded into the trees after the scent of finch. Wolfshade followed me for a short while, but then he trotted forward to my side, mouth half open, and I knew he caught the scent too. As we grew closer, I bent down to creep through the undergrowth. I spotted the bird, only a few tail-lengths away, pecking at ground by a patch of bracken.

I tensed my muscles, preparing to prowl forward, but before I could, Wolfshade nodded towards the finch.

"Remember to check the direction of the wind before getting closer," he said, his voice a soft breath in my ear.

The fur on the back of my neck bristled defensively.

"I know how to hunt birds," I spat back, but I kept my voice below a whisper. "I'm like a half a moon away from being a warrior, not a kit fresh out of the nursery!"

Wolfshade blinked hard, looking taken aback.

A part of me whispered that I was being too harsh on him, and that I was letting my annoyance about his weird behavior and my feelings about how he'd been deliberately ignoring me get the better of me. But, the heat of my emotions made it easy to ignore that cool voice of reason.

"I was just—" he began, curling his lip back slightly in the face of the hostility of my reaction.

"Being a condescending mouse-brain?" I suggested hotly.

My voice got a bit too loud, and out of the corner of my eyes, I saw the finch's head jerk upwards in alarm.

"Mouse-dung!" I cursed, bounding away from Wolfshade, shooting towards the finch.

_No way I'm losing this bird now, in front of Wolfshade!_

The finch batted its wings, rising into the air with a sharp alarm call. It was already several tail-lengths above the ground, but I bunched my hind-legs under me, taking a wild leap into the air, claws flashing towards the finch. The bird dipped and dodged. Time seemed to slow. My heart-pounding, I whipped my tail around, twisting my position dramatically to reorient myself towards it. My paws reached out to make contact, just barely battering the feathers on the edges of its wings. The weak hit was enough for the bird to lose its acceleration upwards, falling alongside with me back towards the earth.

_Move quickly!_

My paws were already slashing towards the bird again, before it would have time to recover. I managed to hook my claws into its feathers, snagging it towards me.

"Oomph!" I hissed.

I had been able to get my paws back under me in time, but I landed a bit hard, the bird twitching weakly under my paws from the impact. Still, wasting no more time, I bent down and snapped the stunned finch's neck. I raised my head, some loose feathers I had dislodged still drifting to the earth around me, the bird at my paws. Wolfshade brushed through the bushes towards me, his body stiff.

"Not the neatest kill," he commented, his eyes glittering with annoyance. "But, you don't need me to telling you why it was alerted to you, huh?"

My pelt bristled again, but this time I tried to control my frustration. Although... it was challenging.

"Sorry I shouted at you," I said, keeping my voice even with difficulty. "It's just, I'm almost done with my training. Cherrytail already taught me practically all of the hunting techniques anyone could know. I mastered hunting birds like _a moon_ into training."

Wolfshade's eyes narrowed slightly.

"Well, how am I supposed to know what you know and what you don't know? Leafstar assigned me to be your mentor, so that's what I'm trying to do," he said.

My tail fur fluffed up as I felt a surge of defensiveness.

"What do you mean you don't know what I know? You've seen me hunt! You've seen the prey I take back to camp." A hint of a growl had crept into my voice.

"But, you won't let me assess you, and you won't let me give you advice! I don't know why you seem to insist on trying to make my job as difficult as possible, Lightningpaw!" Wolfshade snarled.

"That's because I don't want your advice," I spat, my voice a low rumble in my chest and my tail lashing. "I don't need you treating me like a kit on her first day out in camp. I wish Cherrytail was still my mentor."

I snatched up the finch in my mouth and walked away to drop it by a holly bush where I scraped some dirt over the prey. Wolfshade was silent behind me, and when I cast a glance over my shoulder, I saw there was a glimmer of hurt swirling in his green eyes. Guilt suddenly raked sharp claws down my pelt, and I wished I could snatch the last words I said back. I bowed my head.

"Wolfshade, I..." I began, my voice regretful.

"You know that I haven't had an apprentice before right? I don't really know what I'm doing, and I'm sorry that I'm not as good at it as Cherrytail," he said, his voice rough.

"Look, that was a mean thing for me to say. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it," I said, turning to meet his gaze, my eyes round. "I just... uh..."

My voice trailed off as I swallowed hard around the lump that suddenly appeared in my throat, and I looked away from Wolfshade. My heart was suddenly hammering hard in my chest, and my ears were burning with heat.

 _How can I tell him that I... I like him? But, I feel like he's been ignoring me, and treating me like just some dumb apprentice... So,_ _I don't want him to be my mentor. I want us to be something more._

I flattened my ears against my head.

_But, w_ _hy would he like me too? He already has Minttail. He'd just think I'm mouse-brained. How would I get through the rest of my training then?! Oh StarClan, I'd die of awkwardness._

My whiskers drooped.

"What?" Wolfshade prompted.

I scuffled my paws on the ground, my stomach flipping with nerves.

"Nothing. Forget it," I muttered, turning away from him.

Wolfshade looked equal parts confused and annoyed as I stared hard down at the ground, doing my best to ignore him and praying to StarClan that he didn't notice my burning ears.

"Fine. Whatever," he grumbled to himself.

My tail drooped, brushing the ground as I padded away.

"Come on, the prey around here will have heard the bird's alarm call and be long gone," I muttered to Wolfshade over my shoulder.

I heard Wolfshade's soft footsteps as he padded after me, but I didn't look back at him. 

* * *

We had a good haul of prey when we padded back into camp, since prey was finally running well again as the weather warmed. I was pleased that all of my other catches beside the finch had gone smoothly so Wolfshade could see that I was proficient at it.

Even though I'd been annoyed about him trying to assess my abilities, I was still desperate that he knew I was a talented hunter...

I shook my head to myself. Sometimes _I_ hardly understood my conflicting emotions. No wonder Wolfshade seemed so confused and annoyed by it.

I walked over to the fresh-kill pile where I dropped my prey. Wolfshade silently followed me there, and he placed his prey next to mine.

"Are we doing any other training today?" I meowed suddenly.

Wolfshade glanced up at me. He was probably caught off-guard since we hadn't spoken for the rest of our hunt.

"No. We're done for now," he meowed, looking away from me.

I dipped my head to him briskly before turning and padding away, leaving him by the fresh-kill pile. I was weaving around a sandy-red boulder, heading for a secluded corner of camp to take a nap, or just to do _anything_ but think about Wolfshade, when my stomach suddenly growled. I sighed, taking a moment to debate between sleep and food. Hunger won out and I turned around to return to the fresh-kill pile. As I was rounding the edge of the boulder, my ears pricked when I heard my name.

"How's your training with Lightningpaw going?"

It was Egg's voice.

 _Eavesdropping is rude._ I reminded myself.

But, I was too curious to not listen in. I slowly edged forward to peer around the boulder. Wolfshade was still by the fresh-kill pile, and Egg had come over to talk with him. I felt a prickle of guilt for spying on them, but it was not enough to make me move away. I saw Wolfshade hesitate at the question as Egg pawed a mouse out for himself from the fresh-kill. For I heartbeat, I thought Wolfshade might not bother to reply to his friend.

"…Well?" the cream colored tom meowed as the silence stretched on.

"…Lightningpaw has been a difficult apprentice," Wolfshade admitted.

I fluffed my fur out at his comment, a part of me wanting to charge over there and defend myself.

"What do you mean?" Egg meowed, tilting his head at Wolfshade. "I thought you two were friends. And, she's quick-witted, smart, and a great tracker. Training her should be a breeze."

_Thank you for having some sense, Egg._

I lifted my chin, pleased at Egg's assessment of me. I hoped that Wolfshade would agree with him, but my luck wasn't that good.

"Maybe training her would be if she would _let me_ train her," Wolfshade said with a huff. "But, every time I open my mouth, she makes a face at me like I just stepped on her tail."

Wolfshade bent his head down, his tail tip twitching.

"And, today she told me that she wished Cherrytail was still her mentor," Wolfshade added, hurt plain in his voice.

Guilt twisted at my belly, and my ears flattened.

Egg lay his tail supportively on Wolfshade's shoulders, but I could see some amusement sparking in his eyes.

"Oh, Wolfshade, you big mouse-brain" he meowed. "Can't you see what's going on?"

"What do you mean?" Wolfshade meowed, his dark fur prickling.

"She doesn't like you bossing her around," Egg meowed.

"I'm not bossy," Wolfshade rumbled, shrugging off Egg's tail and furrowing his brow.

"I didn't say that," Egg pointed out.

"Then what are you meowing on about?" Wolfshade asked, sounding slightly exasperated.

"Can you really not tell?" Egg meowed, widening his eyes at Wolfshade.

Wolfshade shook his head.

"Then, you're an even bigger mouse-brain than I thought," Egg teased.

 _"What are you saying?"_ Wolfshade rumbled, starting to really look annoyed.

"She's your friend. You should be asking her what's wrong, not someone totally outside of the situation like me," Egg meowed, growing more serious.

"I've tried," Wolfshade replied with a tired huff. "She won't tell me anything."

"Give it more time," Egg meowed, amusement returning to his blue eyes. "Or get your head out of the ground, so you can see it for yourself."

My fur prickled at Egg's words as nerves fluttered in my stomach.

Egg padded away with his mouse to eat next to Sagewhisker. Wolfshade hesitated by the fresh-kill pile for a moment before turning towards the warrior's den. I waited until his dark form disappeared into the cave before heading to the pile to grab some prey for myself, thoughts about their conversation quietly whirling in my head.


	18. Confessions

My paws dragged as I followed Wolfshade out of camp for battle training. Today would be the first time I'd ever done any battle training with him, but I felt no anxiety to impress him. Only annoyance.

I twitched my tail as I gazed at his broad grey back, irritation biting at me like a nagging fly. Wolfshade seemed to have taken Egg's advice to heart and had become very persistent about finding out why I'd been behaving so strangely around him.

I sighed to myself.

I wished that this would've solved the problem of him ignoring me, but if anything, it had just made the situation between us worse. Sure, it was true that he was back to talking to me more now. But, it still wasn't the easy, fun conversations from before. Now, he only spoke to me to ask me about what my problem was with him.

Sometimes he would take to being very distant, hardly talking to me or looking at me for ages, just brooding in sullen silence instead. But, then he would abruptly turn to me and ask a prodding question.

He kept trying to get at the problem, but I'd already decided that I wasn't able to tell him about my feelings...

I couldn't.

But, this meant my answers to his questions were half-truths at best, and, I could tell by the look on his face, always unsatisfactory. He clearly sensed I was holding back. So, he would fall back into distant silence, and then the process repeated itself again. It had been going on for days and days now.

I exhaled a sharp breath out through my nose.

I knew I could try harder to be more friendly to him again, especially now that it seemed like he at least _cared_ about my feelings, although he was going about trying to figure out what was wrong in a really mouse-brained way.

But, for some reason I couldn't make myself open back up to him. I wasn't sure if it was his persistent pushing that made me want to pull away. Or, if it was the fear of rejection from him that circled closer and closer in my mind like a vulture. Or, if it was that I blamed him for the situation we were in, even though I knew rationally it wasn't his fault.

Well, whatever it was, I couldn't seem to get over it.

I sighed to myself, wishing things could just go back to the way they were before, when we were able to laugh and talk together, and I left every encounter with him feeling like I was walking on air... because now whenever I saw him, my tail just twitched in frustration.

It wasn't that I stopped liking him; in fact the opposite was the problem, I liked him entirely _too_ much. It was awful being stuck with him, and desperately wanting that closeness I felt with him before, but then having to deal with him treating me like an _inferior_ , just because I was his apprentice now.

I knew that I would be getting my warrior name soon, so it wasn't a problem that would last for much longer. And, also talking about how I felt may help clear up the misunderstandings... but, his constant nagging and pushing me wasn't helping me to get over that block. I needed time to come around to my own feelings and process everything without him constantly stepping on my tail about it.

"Are you mad at me for some reason?" Wolfshade asked, as if on cue, glancing at me over his shoulder as we padded through the trees.

"No," I lied automatically.

It was the same thing I'd been saying for sunrises.

Wolfshade glared at me, unamused with my stubbornness and this pointless, circular game that we were stuck in, but he said nothing. I saw his shoulders tense in annoyance as he turned his head back around.

I lashed my tail to myself, wishing that he could just _understand_ without needing me to tell him.

We finished the rest of the walk to the mossy training clearing in silence.

"Alright. Let's see what you've learned," he meowed briskly, turning to me, tail swishing.

"Ready?" I snapped curtly, trying to stop my pelt from prickling.

I tensed my legs and half crouched. Wolfshade's nose wrinkled up.

"Of course," he meowed, narrowing his eyes.

Immediately, I launched myself at him like the strike of a coiled snake.

He ducked my attack, but as I landed, I pivoted on my toes, managing to land a sheathed swipe across his ears. He lunged forward, and I danced back. Quickly realizing that I was faster than him, I switched tactics, barraging his sides by lightly battering him with my paws. I wasn't even using real battle moves, just toying with him, prickling at his fur and springing back before he could stop me. Frustration grew in his eyes.

"Knock it off," he growled, leaping to try to grab me.

I dodged and took the opportunity of his unfocused lunge to bring my paw slamming down on his head for a harder blow. I did my best to dodge backwards quickly, but I gotten too confident and moved in too close. He flashed out a paw, grabbed my shoulder fur, and forced me to the ground.

"What's going on? Why are you being like this? What did I do?" he hissed down at me, heavy paws shoving my side into the ground as I writhed under him.

"Nothing!" I spat up at him, pinning my ears flat to my head.

Wolfshade let out a growl of frustration.

Then, I violently twisted, exposing my soft belly for a moment in a risky move but it allowed me to slam my hind paws into his belly with all of the force my powerful hind-legs could muster. It was the same move I had used all those moons ago on Nightpaw, and it was just as effective on Wolfshade. His grip loosened as his breath was forced from his lungs from my strike, and, wasting no time, I wiggled out of his paws. Wheezing for breath, Wolfshade stumbled a step back, watching me warily. My pelt prickled with satisfaction.

"Is that all you've got?" I snarled, raising my chin confidently.

He narrowed his eyes at me at the challenge. Then, heaving in a huge breath, he sprung forward with renewed ferocity. His large, fluffy paws swiped at my head in unforgiving cuffs. Panting, I ducked and dodged, but I could barely stay ahead of his strikes. I lost my balance as my feet stubbed against the ground, and I tripped over my own paws. He swung at my head while I stumbled.

My heart pounded as I watched the paw fall out of the corner of my vision. I closed my eyes against the impact. The hard strike knocked me off of my feet and sent me crashing to the ground head first. I hissed in pain as my head slammed into something hard on the ground.

Ears ringing, I blinked as my vision danced in and out of focus. My head pulsed and throbbed with sharp pain that made me whimper as I curled limply on the ground. A distraught face with agitated, wide grey-green eyes drifted into focus through my squinted gaze.

"Lightningpaw! Lightningpaw!" I heard my name being frantically called and felt a soft muzzle nudging my face.

I moaned in pain, cracking my eyes open wider.

"Thank StarClan," Wolfshade gasped as his gaze met mine, relief making his voice raw.

His rough tongue rasped over my face. I couldn't tell if it was just because of my somewhat stunned state, but my anger towards him was totally gone. I rumbled a shaky purr at the sudden display of affection, feeling a rush of unsteady energy at the touch. Despite the pain, I felt strangely drained and hollow at the lack of bubbling frustration inside me. Gathering my paws under me, I pushed myself to my feet, blinking hard against the stabbing pain in my head. I swayed on my paws for a moment before a steadying shoulder pressed to my side. I leaned gratefully against Wolfshade as his muzzle pressed into my cheek. Closing my eyes, I managed to enjoy the press of his face against mine despite the pain.

"I think there was a rock," I meowed with my eyes still shut.

I flickered my eyes open, blinking hard as Wolfshade moved away from me, and I watched him viciously kick the rock I hit my head on out of the mossy clearing.

"I'm so sorry Lightningpaw. Are you okay?" Wolfshade breathed, turning back to me, his eyes wide with concern. "I didn't mean it. Fox-dung!"

"It's okay. I just need a moment," I muttered, sitting down heavily on my haunches as I tried to fight through the throbbing in my skull.

"Are you sure? Let me take you back to camp," he murmured, coming back to my side.

I nodded slowly as to not aggravate my aching head, deciding that would probably be best.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered again, sounding despondent as he pressed himself closer to me.

On unsteady paws, I let him guide me out of the clearing. It was slow going. Despite not being too far out into SkyClan territory, the journey back to camp seemed to take me moons; putting one paw in front of the other was extremely difficult when the world wouldn't stop spinning around me. I had to stop once to retch when I got so dizzy from it.

But, eventually, we stumbled into camp. By then, my vision had mostly settled, but my legs still felt shaky and my head pounded like there was a monster roaring behind my eyes.

Leafstar spotted me in my sorry state quickly from across the camp. She stopped her conversation with Sharpclaw and shot over to me immediately like she had when I was a kit and had taken a small tumble off of Rockpile.

"Lightningpaw!" Leafstar meowed, pressing herself to my free side.

I purred softly at my mother's reassuring touch.

"What happened? Are you okay?" she demanded.

"I'm fine," I said, blinking hard. "I've only hit my head."

"I'm taking her to Echosong," Wolfshade muttered.

I flicked my gaze over to him. He couldn't meet my mother's eyes, and his pelt prickled with guilt. But Leafstar seemed too focused on me to notice. She nodded and helped him guide me to the medicine cat's den.

I sighed as we finally brushed through the ferns surrounding the entrance to the dim cave. I sat just inside the mouth of the cave, feeling too exhausted to move any further.

"Echosong!" Leafstar called.

A small, grey tabby head peaked out from the back of the den.

"Leafstar? Lightningpaw? What happened?" she asked, bounding over to me to give me a thorough sniff.

"It's her head," Leafstar meowed.

My gaze was glazed as Echosong helped me back to my feet.

"Sit here," Echosong ordered me gently, guiding me to a nest.

I sunk gratefully down in the moss, lying down as Echosong began to more closely examine my head.

"Keep your eyes open," she said, flicking her tail lightly across my nose as my eyes started to drift shut.

I jerked awake.

"You can't sleep when you have a head wound," she warned.

Her paw lightly brushed a tender bump on my head. I winced at even the light touch.

"Is this where it hurts?" she mewed.

"Yes," I said.

"What happened?" Echosong prompted.

Wolfshade's tail lashed, his face furrowed with anguish.

"We were training—" he began, his voice heavy with guilt.

"When I tripped and fell, hitting my head on a rock hidden under the moss at the edge of the practice clearing," I said quickly, interrupting him.

Wolfshade's eyes stretched wide when he realized that I omitted the part with him hitting me to the ground.

"My poor kit," Leafstar murmured, licking my shoulder comfortingly.

"But, I'm okay," I insisted, with a glance up at Leafstar. "My head just hurts some. And, Wolfshade already got rid of the rock so no other cat would hit their head."

"Good," Leafstar purred, with an approving glance at Wolfshade.

Stiff and awkward, Wolfshade bowed his head, casting me a swift look.

"But, I'll have the clearing checked for more anyway so nothing like this happens again," Leafstar continued.

Leafstar licked my shoulder one more time, then with a dip her head to Echosong, left the den. Echosong continued to closely examine my head, while Wolfshade stayed in the den, hovering awkwardly in the corner. Echosong had me follow her tail tip with my eyes, and she checked my reflexes, having me reach out with my forepaws and tap them on her paws as quickly as I could. And, finally she peered intently into my eyes to check the size of my pupils, which I found bizarre, but I didn't question it.

"How old are you?" she asked.

I blinked in surprise at the random question.

"Er… like twelve moons?" I answered.

"Good," she said, pleased for whatever reason at my answer.

Then Echosong turned to Wolfshade.

"Are you just going to stand there all day, or is there something that you want?" Echosong asked him, her mew teasing.

Wolfshade's fur fluffed with embarrassment.

"No..." he mumbled, casting me a burning glance filled with unspoken questions and backing out of the den.

I twitched my whiskers, half amused at his torment and half apologetic that I was the one that is causing it.

Echosong looked back down at me.

"You seem fine. No memory loss, good reflexes, just a big bump on the head," she meowed. "But, I'd like to keep you here for the rest of the day, so I can make sure no new symptoms develop. I'd give you a poppy seed for the pain, but it would make you tired and I can't have you sleeping yet."

She blinked apologetically.

I gazed up at the medicine cat, realizing that this was probably the longest conversation I'd had with her. It seemed to me that she tended to avoid me when I was younger, so I never got to know her very well, and I'd been lucky enough to avoid sickness or injuries bad enough to send me to her den.

_I wonder if she blamed me for Frecklewish's death, and that's why we've never really spoken..._

I pushed that thought aside, forcing myself to be friendly.

"Alright. I'll skip my boring training and lie here all day if I must," I meowed drily, giving an overly exaggerated sigh.

Echosong purred, flicking her tail slightly in amusement.

"Here," she said, grabbing some herbs that I didn't recognize from a crack in the cave wall and pushing it towards my muzzle.

"It'll help reduce the swelling on your head," she mewed.

I lapped it up obediently, curling my lip at its bitter taste.

"Yuck," I muttered to myself.

"I'll just be checking the herb storage in the back. Yowl if you need me, or if you start feeling worse or strange," Echosong said, before rising to her paws and padding deeper into the cave.

I curled my paws under my chest and settled down deeper in the soft nest. Not to sleep of course, since I was under strict instructions not too, but just to get more comfortable. My head pounded in almost a rhythmic fashion like it was synchronizing with my heartbeat, but the pain was already less than before, and it wasn't unbearable.

A shadow suddenly fell across me as a cat stood in the entrance to the den. I looked up to see Wolfshade standing there, a thrush in his mouth. After glancing towards the back of the cave to make sure Echosong wasn't watching, he padded in, dropping the bird in front of me.

"Here," he muttered. "I know you haven't eaten all day."

"Thank you," I mewed softly, looking down at the bird and wondering if Wolfshade remembered that it was my favorite, or if him bringing this kind of prey was completely unintentional.

He crouched down next to me and cleared his throat lightly.

"It wasn't just a trip. Why did you lie to them?" he murmured in a low voice, so Echosong couldn't hear him. "I hit you and knocked you to the ground. It was my fault."

I scuffled my paws, gazing down at them to avoid his eyes.

"No it wasn't. It was just an accident, but still I didn't want Leafstar to be mad with you," I whispered. "Just in case."

I glanced back up at him, and I saw him twitch his tail, flattening his ears and casting his gaze away.

"Why? You don't want me to be your mentor anyway," he muttered, his voice rough with bitterness.

A rush of emotion swirled in my belly. I flattened my ears, feeling hot shame and regret nip at my pelt.

I should have never said that I wished Cherrytail was still my mentor to him.

I brushed my tail over Wolfshade's side, making him look over at me, and our gazes met.

"That's not true. And, I'm sorry, Wolfshade," I whispered. "This has been all my fault, not yours. I've been being _so_ mean, and you don't deserve any of it. Like, me saying that about Cherrytail and just being surly to you in general... I'm sorry. I should've never done those things."

I sighed and looked down at the ground, feeling my ears warm with shame and embarrassment.

"You had no choice in becoming my mentor, but I've still been acting like a mouse-brain about it," I murmured. "You're right; I have been angry with you."

"That doesn't change the fact that I hit you so hard," he growled, lashing his dark grey tail, his green eyes flashing with anguish. "What if I really hurt you? What if that rock hit your eye instead of the back of your head and you became half-blinded?"

I slowly reached one of my white-furred paws out to rest it on his dark grey one. He didn't move away. My heart hammered like thunder in my ears as the touch sent shivers of wildfire up my leg.

"But, that didn't happen," I murmured, doing my best to ignore the sensation, because if I didn't, I doubt I'd be able to speak. "We were practice _fighting_ , for StarClan's sake, sometimes cats will get a bit hurt and sore. But, I know you would never actually _want_ to hurt me. And, you didn't know about the rock!"

He sighed quietly, dropping his head and flattening his ears.

"I don't know. Maybe I should still tell Leafstar that I'm not cut out to be a mentor," he muttered.

"No, don't!" I protested.

The thought of not getting to spend everyday with him suddenly seemed unbearable.

He glanced up, a puzzled expression on his face.

"But, why not? We used to be friends, and now you haven't been able to look me in the eye in days, ever since I became your mentor," he meowed angrily. "What's the point if you're just going to hate it?"

His gaze flickered away.

"And, also I hurt you…" he meowed softly.

"The _rock_ hurt me," I pointed out, jutting my chin out stubbornly.

His eyes met mine again.

"That doesn't change the fact that I feel horrible about it," he growled firmly. "And, that you've been angry because I'm your mentor."

My tail twitched as I felt my skin warming even hotter beneath my pelt. I glanced down at our still touching paws because I was unable to meet his eyes, so I focused on them instead.

"I wasn't angry with you because I thought you would be a bad mentor," I muttered quietly.

I was breathing so quickly now that I knew there was no way he hadn't noticed my nervousness.

"You're fantastic at hunting and fighting and any cat would be completely mouse-brained to _not_ want you to teach them..." My voice trailed off, and Wolfshade waited in silence for me to continue.

The rapid thumping of my heartbeat was so loud in my ears, it almost blocked out all other sounds. My stomach clenched and fluttered like I had eaten moths.

"And, I'm happy we get to spend more time together. Because you _are_ still my friend, although I know I haven't been acting like it," I said, almost having to force the words out. "It's just that…"

I hesitated, shifting uncomfortably in the nest. I swallowed hard. My mouth had suddenly gone dry. Next to me Wolfshade was still silent as I continued to stare intently down at our feet instead of meeting his eyes.

I screwed my eyes shut for a heartbeat.

I had come too far to turn back now.

_Oh StarClan, I have to say it._

"I've been having trouble adjusting to having you as my mentor," I muttered, hardly knowing how I was still managing to speak. "I didn't want you to be my mentor because I don't want to _see_ you as my mentor. I want to... I..."

My voice trailed off as the words that I really wanted to confess got stuck in my throat. And, this time, as much as I tried, I couldn't make my mouth speak them.

_...I like you. I have feelings for you._

I felt my paw on Wolfshade's trembling slightly, and I hated it, wishing I could steady it. I knew too that my ears at this point must be scarlet red, which made me want to curl up into an embarrassed ball and have the earth swallow me up, but I forced my gaze up to drift back up to Wolfshade. My heart pounded in my chest from nerves, but I _had_ to look at his face to try to see what he was thinking— if he thought I was a mouse-brain. My belly was tight, and I felt equal parts hopeful and terrified.

"Do you understand?" I rasped, my gaze finally meeting his.

He blinked. I could see the reflection of my amber gaze in his green one, but besides that, I could read no thoughts there. He kept his emotions carefully guarded behind his eyes. I blinked, hoping that my gaze didn't seem too desperate to him.

"I think so," he replied softly in his deep voice, but said nothing else.

For one heartbeat that felt like an eternity, we just gazed at each other. Not moving closer, but neither pulling away.

"Lightningpaw…" Wolfshade began slowly, his eyes flicking away.

He lay his second paw over my own, trapping mine between both of his, and my heart skipped a beat. It was very hard to focus on anything he said afterwards.

"I know this wasn't all you," he muttered. "After I became your mentor, I know I've been distant too. It's um... been hard for me too. To adjust. I think I've been aloof because of it. I guess it's like you said about seeing me as a mentor... I also sort of felt like I had to be a certain way because I'm your mentor now. But, I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings by doing that."

I swallowed against my dry throat.

"And, I'm sorry for being a pain in the tail," I added, my voice becoming slightly teasing as I gained confidence from his response. "Maybe... we can try to go back to normal?"

His gaze flickered back up to mine, and his green eyes softened.

"Yeah," he murmured. "I'd like that-"

"You're back again!" Echosong's teasing voice echoed through the cave, interrupting Wolfshade as she walked over from the back of the den and over to us.

Quickly, I pulled my paw from Wolfshade's, my ears burning again. I rasped my tongue down my chest a few times self-consciously.

"I was just bringing her some prey," Wolfshade muttered, tucking his paws under his chest and dipping his head to the medicine cat.

Echosong gazed at us with a look that I couldn't quite read in her blue eyes.

"Well, since it seems like you're tied at the tail to your apprentice, you might as well make yourself useful and make sure Lightningpaw doesn't fall asleep," she mewed, her tone still slightly playful. "Can I trust you to do that?"

"Of course," Wolfshade muttered.

I could feel heat radiating off of Wolfshade's pelt as well as my own at Echosong's teasing, but we dipped our heads to her again as she padded back away. I silently moved over in the large nest, making room for Wolfshade in it so he didn't have to crouch on the stone floor of the den. He accepted my wordless invitation and settled on the nest next to me, but tension still crackled between us like a storm in green-leaf.

"You know, now that I'm not supposed to sleep, I can barely keep my eyes open," I joked lightly, trying to break the heavy, awkward silence that hung over us.

"I guess we've found the cure to your insomnia. Someone just has to tell you not to sleep," Wolfshade responded quickly, seemingly eager to take up my attempt to break the tension.

We both purred, and some of the awkwardness melted like fog dissipating on a warm day.

"Are you going to eat the fresh-kill?" he asked, angling his ears at the prey he brought me. "I thought thrush was your favorite. Right?"

"It is, and I will. I would never pass one up," I said, bending my nose to sniff it before glancing up at him. "Have you eaten yet? Do you want to share?"

He looked uncertain.

"I don't want to eat your prey..." he said hesitantly.

Rolling my eyes to myself, I bent my head, took a bite, then shoved the fresh-kill towards him.

"Take a bite," I said, meeting his gaze unwaveringly. "You're clearly hungry."

He cast me an amused glance from narrowed eyes, well aware of my stubbornness. But, he obediently took a bite of the bird, before lifting his head and looking at me expectantly. I leaned over and tucked into the prey; hunger suddenly triggered from the first bite of food. He bent his head by mine, and we shared the last of the prey, whiskers brushing. Swiping my tongue over my lips, I reclined back. With my stomach contentedly full, I wanted nothing more than to curl up in the soft nest, close my eyes and escape the pounding of my head in blissful sleep.

"You better talk to me or I'll be napping in two heartbeats," I warned, stifling a yawn.

"Well, what do you want to talk about?" he said with a purr.

"I don't know..." I meowed, but then suddenly my eyes narrowed as I had a thought. "Tell me something about you."

"Like what?" Wolfshade asked hesitantly, eyes flashing a bit warily.

I twitched my ears, somewhat amused by his guarded response.

"What was it like growing up with Bouncefire and Tinycloud? How did you get that nick in your left ear? At what age exactly did you become so secretive and prickly?" I purred.

"Hey, who are you calling prickly?" he growled playfully, the guarded look in his green eyes vanishing to be replaced by shimmering warmth.

"Oh please," I huffed. "You're so prickly it's a miracle that Leafstar didn't name you Wolfspike."

I poked the spiky fur on his flank with one of my paws for emphasis. Wolfshade purred.

"Put a mouse in it" he grumbled good-naturedly, swatting a piece of moss at my nose.

I flicked the moss off of my muzzle and, in retaliation, bent my head to pick up a large mouthful of moss which I tossed at him. Wolfshade sprung to his paws, shaking bits of the nest from his shoulder fur, his eyes alight with excitement.

I followed him to my feet, but I was quickly reminded why I was in the medicine cat's den, which I had, rather foolishly, in my excitement forgotten.

My head injury made itself know through a spike of pain and a bought of dizziness, causing me to stumble back on my haunches. Immediately, Wolfshade was at my side, lowering me back down to the now disheveled nest.

"Sorry. I forgot," I meowed, feeling a rush of embarrassment at my foolishness.

I blinked hard as my spinning vision settled back down.

"My StarClan, I can't believe you two! Jumping around like a pair of kits!" Echosong snapped.

She cast us both annoyed glares as she came back over to check on me. I blinked guiltily at the medicine cat while Wolfshade cast his gaze down in embarrassment.

Echosong's gaze softened.

"She can't leap around like this," Echosong meowed to Wolfshade. "If Lightningpaw is capable of sitting still with you here, then you can stay. Otherwise, Lightningpaw needs to rest."

"I'm sorry," I meowed again.

"No, I started it," Wolfshade muttered. "I can go."

My ears flattened. I wanted to protest, the word _stay_ hovering on the tip of my tongue. But, Wolfshade just cast me a glance and padded out.


	19. Beginnings

Even though new-leaf was here, leaf-bare refused to give up its grasp of the forest so easily. New-leaf showed its hesitant face in the form of longer days, warmer sun-highs, and more prey, but it was continuously battled back by leaf-bare in the form of cold nights and chilly mornings.

After I spent a day in the medicine cat's den recovering from the head injury, I returned to my training. As a few sunrises passed, Wolfshade and I began to piece our friendship back together. The progress was a bit slow and awkward at times, but it was good to have him back as my friend. Still though, I could tell there was something different between us now. A certain amount of tension still lingered. Something had changed.

We had not talked about the words that were said, or not said, that day in the medicine cat's den. But, they still charged the air between us like a thunderstorm in green-leaf. I could feel the words when our pelts accidentally brushed, and my fur flushed with heat at the touch. Or, when I turned and caught him looking at me with his intense green eyes from across the camp, and I felt like fire was racing through my blood.

I was curled up in the apprentices den in a light, dreamless sleep when I felt a soft paw on my shoulder, gently shaking me awake. My eyes flickered open, and I glanced up to see Wolfshade blinking down at me. I felt a small jolt of surprise and happiness.

"Hey," I meowed through a yawn.

I stretched my forepaws out in front of me before arching my back languidly and stretching each hind-leg behind me in turn before straightening. I shook out my pelt.

"Is it time for training already?" I meowed, peering over his shoulder to look out at the sky.

The sky was barely lightening; it looked like it was a little before dawn.

"No," Wolfshade replied with a purr.

His eyes were shimmering. I tilted my head at him inquisitively, intrigued by his unusually good mood.

"Then what's going on?" I meowed.

Nightpaw let out a loud, pointed sigh in his nest near by mine, and curled up tighter, tucking his nose under his tail.

"Sorry," I meowed to Nightpaw, lowering my voice.

Wolfshade gestured with his tail to the entrance, and we padded away from my sleeping den-mates and to the mouth of the cave.

"It's Cherrytail. She had her kits last night, and she was asking for you to come see them before we started training today," Wolfshade said with a soft purr.

I gasped.

"Well, why didn't you say so?!" I meowed, my voice still hushed but vibrating with excitement as I brushed past Wolfshade, leaping out of the den and rushing up the cliff-face.

The paths on the sides of the sandy cliffs were still wreathed in shadows, but my paws were certain on the trails as I quickly scaled the cliff towards the nursery. Wolfshade was close behind me as I approached the entrance to the nursery, where I hesitated for a heartbeat.

What if Cherrytail or the kits were resting? Was I allowed to just go inside?

"I can smell you hanging around out there, Lightningpaw. Come on in," Cherrytail's teasing voice called out from inside the dark nursery.

I gave a soft purr to myself at my former mentor's playful tone, and I padded inside the den, leaving Wolfshade waiting outside.

I blinked as my eyes adjusted to the low light of the den. I slowly made my way towards the back of the nursery, where Cherrytail was lying with Sharpclaw curled around her. Sharpclaw's massive ginger form looked dramatically out of place in the cozy milk-scented nursery to me, but when he saw me approach, he looked up with fierce pride and love in his clear green eyes.

I purred warmly. Maybe he wasn't out of place after all.

"Hello, Lightningpaw. Have you come to see our kits?" Sharpclaw meowed, his chest puffing in pride as he looked back down at his mate and children.

"Yes. How are they?" I asked as I padded closer, a bit of concern creeping into my voice as I remembered how difficult birthing can be for both queens and their kits. "How are you, Cherrytail? Did everything go okay? How many— Oh!"

My anxious rambling was cut off as Cherrytail moved her tail, revealing three beautiful kits at her white belly.

"Wow! They're perfect!" I said with a loud purr, blinking down at the very cute tiny kittens.

Sharpclaw purred, and Cherrytail blinked happily up at me at my words. There were three little fuzzy bundles, each with bright pink tipped noses and tiny ears folded against their heads.

"What are their names?" I asked.

"This one is Adderkit," Cherrytail meowed softly, stroking her tail over her largest kit, a dappled, dark ginger male kit.

She touched her second kit, a grey tabby with one white forepaw.

"And, he's Ripplekit," Cherrytail purred.

Ripplekit wiggled with a soft squeak when his mother brushed her tail over him, revealing a flare of white on his chest.

I purred at the little kit-noise.

Cherrytail brushed her tail over her last kit— a white she-cat with two dark ginger patches on her back and fluffy, downy fur.

"And, she's Owlkit," Cherrytail meowed.

"The patches on her back kind of look like wings!" I purred.

Cherrytail purred back at me in reply, tearing her gaze away from her kits for a moment to blink up at me.

"You two chose lovely names," I said, a purr still rumbling in my chest. "And, the kits look so strong and healthy too."

"We got very lucky with that, considering that we had such a long and hard leaf-bare this season," a voice meowed from behind me.

I turned to see Echosong enter the den, carrying a bundle of herbs in her mouth.

"So, we have to be careful to make sure that the kits and their mother stay that way," she meowed, dropping the herbs in front of Cherrytail. "Which means that you need to eat these."

Cherrytail's tail flicked back and forth.

"Even though they taste like rancid crow-food tinged with fox-dung?" Cherrytail quipped, bending her head to give the leaves a hesitant sniff.

"Oh my, your kits are less than a day old, and you're already teaching them such foul language!" Echosong said, her soft voice teasing.

"You think I'm bad, just wait until they spend anytime around Sharpclaw!" Cherrytail said, her eyes sparking mischievously.

Cherrytail flicked her tail against Sharpclaw, who accepted the flick and the gibe with a grumble and a resigned sigh. I purred at her needling, knowing that Cherrytail was the only cat alive that could get away with teasing Sharpclaw without losing her whiskers.

After Cherrytail had enough of taunting her mate though, she bent her head and lapped the herbs up without protest, although she wrinkled her nose as she swallowed.

"Cherrytail should rest," Echosong meowed, turning to me. "But you can come visit her again later today."

I dipped my head to the medicine cat.

"I understand. I promise to visit later, Cherrytail!" I meowed as I turned padded towards the exit of the cave.

"Make sure you make Wolfshade come too! I scented him come up there with you, but that fox-heart hasn't stopped by yet!" Cherrytail meowed as I left.

"I promise," I said with a purr, waving my tail in goodbye.

I padded out of the den and hesitated for a moment on the cliff-face over looking the camp. The gorge now glowed in the rosy pink light of dawn as the sun peeked its golden head up in the eastern sky. Mist rose up from the stream, twining its way around Rockpile and into the almost empty camp.

The mist reflected milky white in the sunlight, and it swirled over the orange-red sand in a beautiful, but dream-like sort of way. I spotted Wolfshade seated by the Rockpile, looking out over the foggy stream. His dark form starkly cut through the white mist like the shadow of a bird's wing under the sun.

I bounded down the cliff and padded over to him, brushing through the swirling mist like it was tall, ghostly strands of white grass.

Wolfshade turned to look at me as I approached him, his sharp green eyes cutting cleanly through the fog as he gave me a soft purr of greeting.

"Why haven't you seen the kits yet?" I asked Wolfshade as I sat down next to him. "Cherrytail is resting now, but she asked for you to stop by as I left."

I started to groom my pelt which was still ruffled from sleep, but I didn't miss the fact that Wolfshade's gaze flickered away from me as if my question had embarrassed him. He shifted a bit uncomfortably on the sand.

"I guess it's just that I never know what to do around kits. They're so tiny. I'm always afraid that I'm going to step on them or something," he admitted, looking down at his big paws.

I let out a soft purr of affection at the concern that furrowed his brow.

"Well you know these kits can barely move yet, right? I don't think you'll accidentally step on them," I said, my voice light and gently teasing. "And, with Sharpclaw in the nursery, I'm sure he'll happily tackle you if it looks like your paws are getting too close to them."

Wolfshade glanced up at me with a small jolt, and then he fluffed his fur out in embarrassment. He rasped his tongue down his chest self-consciously. He looked like he maybe wished that he could take his words back.

"Well... yeah. I guess you're right. Er—Never mind that," Wolfshade meowed as he leapt to his paws quickly as if that would allow him to leave his embarrassment behind. "We've got training to do."

And, with that, he turned tail and dashed through the fog, his figure quickly vanishing from my sight in the thick mist, but I could still smell his scent lingering in a clear path out of camp. Still purring to myself, I rose to my paws and sprinted after him.

My paws pounded on the damp earth as I ran out of camp and into the trees. I sighed, breathing in the sweet scents of the forest eagerly as I felt the soft dirt move beneath my feet with each stride. I caught up to Wolfshade, who was now only a few fox-lengths head of me, and we went tearing through SkyClan territory. We turned left, away from the river after leaving camp and were now moving straight through the thickest part of the forest.

As the sun rose higher in the sky, the fog began to burn off, and the forest around me grew brighter and warmer. My gaze flickered around at the bare trees above me as I ran, enjoying the flexing and stretching of my firm muscles under my pelt. I was delighted to see that soft green buds were beginning to form at the ends of branches, heralding the appearance of new-leaf. Wolfshade turned us more to the left as we ran, and now we were doubling back in the same direction were we came. But, we had moved deep enough into the forest that instead of ending up back in the gorge, we were running up the gentle slope of a hill, heading up to the meadow that stretched on the top of the cliffs above the camp. Wolfshade slowed as the tree-line ended and we reached the meadow, slipping easily through yellow grass fronds that brushed his shoulders like a fish moving through the river shallows, and I was reminded of brushing through the thick fog in camp this morning.

He came to a stop there, turning back to face me, his face framed by the tall yellow grass.

"You'll be taking your final assessment today," he meowed. "If everything goes well, I expect Leafstar will make you a warrior in a couple of sunrises at most."

I purred, my tail curling up in delight.

_My warrior assessment! Finally!_

For a brief moment, I felt a flash of nervousness in my belly, but I easily pushed it aside. I'd been training for this for moons and moons! I would be able to handle whatever I had to do. I lifted my chin confidently, waiting for him to continue.

"The assessment is a solo hunt," he said. "I expect you will use the hunting techniques you've learned throughout your training. And, remember, I'll be watching your progress the whole time, even if you aren't able to tell I'm there."

"Is that a challenge?" I purred, the excitement I felt at the prospect of taking my final assessment making me playful. "Do I get bonus points if I'm able to catch your scent when you're 'hiding?'"

Wolfshade's eyes narrowed slightly at the teasing in my voice, but the look didn't stop my tail from flicking back and forth behind me eagerly.

"What if I manage to sneak up behind you and pounce on you?" I continued, digging my claws into the ground in excitement. "Do I get _extra_ bonus points then?"

"Since this is a hunting assignment and not a tracking-and-pouncing-on-your-mentor assignment, I'd advise you to focus on the prey," Wolfshade said stiffly, but I detected dry amusement in his voice. "If you _do_ pounce on me from behind, all you'll get for startling me is cuffed ears. No bonus points."

My paws twitched, and I felt a powerful urge to crouch down and pounce on him right then and there to see if his threat held any real weight, but I squashed the urge. It was my final assessment after all, as much as I wanted to play with Wolfshade, I couldn't risk doing anything to not pass this test.

I raised my tail confidently.

"Don't worry," I said, lightly flicking my tail on his shoulder. "I'll be sure to impress you."

"I'm sure you will," Wolfshade said, his green eyes glinting.

I felt a thrill run through my pelt from that look, and, with that, I turned around and dashed back into the trees.

Excitement pounded so eagerly in my chest that I was unable to move at any pace slower than a run, and I found myself tearing up the ground with long loping strides. After I had blown off some of that excess enthusiasm, I forced myself to slow to a trot to conserve energy as I made my way farther into the forest, breathing deeply in the sweet tinge of new-leaf in the air. My ears were pricked, alert for the sounds of prey, but it was my nose that caught whiff of its presence first. Squirrel scent drifted in faintly on the breeze. I turned towards the scent, falling into my hunter's crouch with ease that came from moons of practice. I crept forward, my paws gliding soundless over the damp forest floor, my ears jutted forward. Scuffling noises caught my attention, and my ears swiveled towards the sound. Slipping around a dense patch of ferns, I saw the squirrel rustling in the fallen leaves under a sycamore tree, and I froze, hidden in the shadows of the ferns.

_Is Wolfshade watching?_

I scented the air again but I was unable to catch his scent.

_Where is he? Shouldn't he be close?_

I felt my thoughts starting to drift towards the dark grey and silver tom, an image of him forming in my mind's eye instead of the prey in front of me.

 _Focus on the hunt,_ I reminded myself, giving my head a small shake.

I locked my gaze on the still-oblivious squirrel, excitement jolting through me as I started a quick flash forward, my paws flying swiftly and silently across the ground. The squirrel's ears twitched towards me when I was a few tail-lengths away, but before it could even turn to look, I had sprung, locking my jaws on the squirrel's neck. I clamped my teeth shut, severing its spine in a quick killing bite. The sweet and salty taste of prey blood filled my mouth, and the squirrel went limp in my jaws, dead without even knowing what killed it.

_Thank you StarClan for this prey. And, for such a clean kill._

With the squirrel still in my mouth, I gave the breeze another sniff, hoping again to catch Wolfshade's mint-pine scent, but I couldn't scent much past the squirrel fur and blood. I padded over to a nearby bramble bush, placing my fresh-kill down there to scrape some dirt over it before heading off in search of more prey. I slowly padded through the trees, all senses alert for prey. But, besides the calling of a few song birds in the highest branches of trees, far out of reach, there was no sign of more prey.

_I remember that there was some prey-scent back in the meadow, where I left Wolfshade._

Having no luck under the trees, I turned away from the fringes of our borders, padding back toward the center of SkyClan territory. I tasted the air as I crept forward, recognizing the musty scent of rabbit.

I hesitated at the border of the trees, the meadow stretching out in front of me. I crouched in the shadows of the bushes, seeing a flicker of brown fur in the swaying golden grass. The rabbit hopped along slowly in the meadow, grazing as it moved. My eyes swept the field, searching for cover to begin my approach. It looked difficult, close to impossible, to sneak up on it without it seeing me coming through the grass. I eyed the grazing rabbit, looking at its long legs. I was no WindClan cat that the elders talked about, either. I knew I wasn't fast enough to out-sprint it if I just tried to dash at it and tossed out the option of stalking entirely.

My gaze flickered up. A large, twisted oak tree at the border of the meadow had a branch that snaked out over the open grass. I traced its path with my eyes, seeing it reach out towards the rabbit.

_Perfect._

I faded back into the shade of the forest, keeping a half of an eye on the rabbit as I crept quietly towards the oak. When I reached its base, I could see the rabbit still grazing peacefully in the field. I sunk my claws into the tree's bark, and I climbed up on the backside of the trunk, out of the rabbit's line of sight. Slinking on to the low branch, I peeked back down at the rabbit. My heart pounded as I caught no sign of movement in the golden grass.

_Mouse-dung! Is it gone?_

But then, there was a flash of fur farther out in the grass. I relaxed, my prey focused in my gaze again. I crept along the branch silently, moving out over the meadow. The rabbit continued its grazing, completely obviously as I moved myself into position, so I was crouched almost directly above it. Then, wasting no time so the rabbit didn't catch a whiff of my scent, I gathered my legs under me and sprung.

It was a large leap down. My heart pounded in my chest as I stretched my paws out in front of me and towards the rabbit. But, my fall was silent, and the rabbit didn't look up until I was almost on top of it. The rabbit's round eye went huge, and it jerked forward. But, then my forepaws slammed into its back. My hind legs flexed as I hit the ground securely on my feet. The rabbit twitched violently and let out a scream as the force of the impact of my paws broke its spine. I quickly stretched my head forward and broke its neck, cutting the scream short and ending its pain. I raised my head with the rabbit hanging from my jaws.

_Too bad I didn't kill it with the first hit, now any prey around here heard the scream and scattered._

I looked down at the rabbit, nevertheless feeling a flash of pride at the size of it and my ingenuity in managing the kill. I dragged the rabbit to the oak tree and, taking a deep breath to ready myself, scaled it, hauling the prey up the tree with my neck bent awkwardly to the side as the large, heavy rabbit dangled in my jaws. I stashed the prey in a nook between a branch and the trunk. I leapt nimbly back down the tree and padded back into the forest, heading towards the border of our territory again, hoping the prey over there had come out during the time I spent hunting in the meadow.

As I walked over the leaf-littered ground, through the towering trunks, I scented the breeze, keeping alert. But, it was not prey scent that drifted into my mouth, instead it was the scent of unfamiliar cats. I tensed, turning towards the scent, the fur on my shoulders half bristling and my muscles tensing as my body readied itself for a possible fight.

"Who's there?" I challenged, my voice loud but calm, as my gaze swept the undergrowth in front of me.

A bramble bush rustled, and I locked my gaze on it.

A ginger cat and a black-and-white cat hesitantly crept out of the bramble bush, both pairs of eyes downcast. Their ribs jutted out gauntly from under their ragged pelts. Their tails dragged on the ground, and their gazes were weary when they met mine.

I felt a flash of surprise as I recognized the rogues, but they were in much worse shape than when I saw them last. Seeing that they were no threat, I relaxed my bristling fur.

"I remember you both," I meowed to the ginger rogue. "Whisper, right? And, you are…?"

"Crash," the black-and-white tom muttered.

"Crash," I repeated, inclining my head towards him in greeting.

"I remember you too," Whisper meowed, her voice just as rasping and jarring as the first time I heard it. "You were on the patrol that talked to us moons ago, although, you've gotten bigger since then."

I nodded.

"That's right," I meowed. "You also helped me fight a fox not that long ago."

I dipped my head at Whisper in gratitude.

"I never got to thank you for that," I meowed. "You saved my pelt."

Whisper shrugged.

"Of course. It's a shame for any cat to become fox-food," Whisper rasped.

There was a pause in the conversation, a moment of silence stretching between us. My gaze flickered from Whisper to Crash and back.

"Well... what do you want?" I meowed finally.

Crash and Whisper exchanged an uncertain look. I saw Crash's tail twitching anxiously behind him.

"Does your offer for prey and shelter still stand?" Whisper meowed hesitantly, her gaze flicking back to the ground. "Leaf-bare… leaf-bare was hard on us, and we need help."

Crash glowered at me, a soft growl in his throat. I could tell it was difficult for him to admit that. I paused for a moment, my brow furrowing.

Did I have the right to extend an invitation of welcome on the behalf of my Clan to these cats?

"I doubt some of my clan-mates will be pleased having you in camp after you spent all of leaf-bare stealing our precious prey from us..." I meowed slowly.

I saw Crash and Whisper exchange concerned looks. I saw Crash's muscles tense under his short pelt like he was going to make a run for it.

"But," I continued quickly. "I have not forgotten that you, Whisper, saved my life. I would be happy to escort you two to my camp. SkyClan welcomes-"

I was interrupted by the bramble bush rustling again. Two more cats crept out of hiding, coming to stand behind Crash and Whisper. There was a skinny white she-cat with green eyes and a tabby tom with a patchy pelt. The white she-cat leaned heavily on the tabby's shoulder as they padded closer towards me.

"These are our friends," Whisper said.

"I'm Shiver," the white she-cat meowed.

"And, I'm Tattered," the tom meowed.

"I'm Lightningpaw," I said to introduce myself before turning to the white she-cat, recognizing the pretty she-cat underneath the grimy pelt. "You were there with Whisper when the fox attacked me and two other apprentices! Thank you."

"Unfortunately, that wasn't the only time the fox attacked," Shiver grunted, shifting her stance to reveal a long, jagged wound on her shoulder.

The cut looked several sunrises old at least, and it was an unhealthy harsh red color that oozed yellow pus. I curled my lip, the scent of infection and crow-food hitting me from a fox-length away.

"Please, can you help her?" Whisper meowed, her rasping voice pleading. "She can't go on much longer without prey and a soft nest to rest in and heal."

"Whisper!" Crash growled. "Are you planning on giving away all of our weaknesses to these cats?"

"Do you want Shiver to die?" Whisper hissed, whirling on him. "Do you want us all to die?"

Crash didn't reply, but I thought I saw a flash of guilt flicker across his face. He clamped his mouth shut, angrily casting his gaze to the ground. Shiver was panting slightly as she leaned on Tattered's shoulder, looking like this argument was taking the last of her strength out of her.

"Please," Whisper meowed again, turning back to me. "You've gotta help Shiver."

If I wasn't convinced earlier by Whisper's plea to take them to the camp, I was now by the sorry state Shiver was in. I couldn't let one of the she-cats that saved my life die when there was something I could do about it. I owed that much to them at least.

"We have a medicine cat," I meowed.

I looked at the weak white she-cat with pity.

"She has knowledge of techniques and herbs that can help heal you," I meowed to her.

"Thank you," Shiver muttered.

"Follow me," I continued, raising my tail and turning in the direction of the gorge. "I'll take you to our camp."


	20. New Clan-mates

As I padded away, the rogues slowly followed, even Crash, although he hesitated at first, and I thought he still looked mutinous about it. The rogues seemed tense and uncomfortable walking out in the open under the trees instead of creeping around in the shade of the undergrowth. Their ears twitched warily, and they kept casting nervous glances from side to side like they expected at any moment my clan-mates would leap out from behind a bush or a tree, claws out and teeth bared. Despite the pity I felt for the starving rogues, I couldn't stop my whiskers from twitching in a small flash of amusement at the thought of the fright it would give them.

Although tension radiated from the cats behind me, I felt completely at ease with the towering oak trees surrounding us, the swaying branches above me, and my paws safe and certain in the dirt of SkyClan territory, as I guided them through the path-less maze of ferns and undergrowth.

My gaze snapped to a flicker of movement. In front of me, a shadow detached itself from under a patch of bracken and rose to its paws, padding over to us. Wolfshade appeared from the shadows of the undergrowth, blinking as he stepped into the light.

I let out a loud purr of laughter at the sight of him. His pelt was completely plastered with mud, dirtying his handsome blends of greys and black with brown and clumping his fur into uncomfortable looking spikes.

"So, _that's_ why I couldn't catch your scent earlier," I meowed through my purrs, trotting over to circle around him to take in the full effect.

I sniffed, the musty scent of mud rushing into my nose.

"That'll be a pain to take off," I added, my eyes still shining with amusement.

Wolfshade cast me a look, the tiniest bit of humor flashing across his face as his whiskers twitched.

The rogues were not nearly as amused at the sight of Wolfshade as I was.

"Is this an ambush?" Crash hissed, fur bristling.

Wolfshade's eyes flickered to them, and I saw the humor vanish from his face, his expression becoming stern.

"No," Wolfshade meowed, stepping forward towards the rogues. "You interrupted Lightningpaw's hunting assessment."

His eyes flickered back to mine.

"Which was going well, by the way. Great rabbit catch," Wolfshade added in a softer voice, giving me a small nod.

I raised my head, feeling my fur flush with heat and my stomach flutter at the praise.

_So, he has been watching me the whole time!_

"I'll be joining her in escorting you to our camp," Wolfshade meowed, turning his attention back to the rogues.

He turned around and padded over to the bracken patch were he picked up a squirrel, the same one that I caught earlier, and led the way back to camp. Whisper, Shiver, Tattered, and, after a moment of hesitation again, Crash too, began to follow. I dashed forward to catch up to Wolfshade, matching my pace with his as I walked by his side.

"Was I wrong to invite the rogues back to camp?" I whispered.

"No. I think you handled the interaction well," Wolfshade meowed back quietly, casting a glance over his shoulder at the mangy line of rogues behind us. "They're obviously not in good shape. I don't think they'll be a threat."

"What about my assessment? Will I have to do it again?" I meowed, a quiet note of worry creeping into my voice.

"Lightningpaw, I'm sure all of SkyClan knows how good of a hunter you are. You passed," Wolfshade purred softly, shooting me a look out of the corner of his eye.

I purred in delight, tail curling up.

"Thank you Wolfshade!" I meowed, leaning over to give his shoulder a swift lick.

Wolfshade's eyes widened almost imperceptibly as his gaze flickered away, and my ears burnt with sudden heat as my brain caught up with my actions. We had just reached the meadow, and I took this as an opportunity to dash ahead to the oak tree, scaling it quickly to grab my rabbit.

_Calm down. Act cool. Nothing happened. Not a big deal. Just a friendly lick._

I gave my head a shake as I fastened my jaws on the rabbit. I took a deep breath in through my nose to steady myself.

_Alright, you good?_

I forced myself to climb back down the tree calmly with the rabbit in my mouth. I trotted back over to Wolfshade and the rogues, doing my best to look relaxed.

"They have so much prey that it grows on trees here," Tattered meowed dryly in a deep voice.

"Let's keep going," Wolfshade meowed, ignoring him and nodding back towards the trees.

We didn't speak the rest of the way back to camp. As we padded down the gently sloping hill, heading towards the river, I could sense the tension growing in the rogues as they clustered tighter together the deeper in our territory we traveled. I breathed in, catching the sour scent of their anxiety in the air around the scent of the rabbit in my mouth.

We reached the river and turned right. It wasn't long until the trees started to thin and the ground turned sandy underneath my paws as we padded into the gorge. As Wolfshade and I reached the bend in the river, and rounded the corner of the cliffs, entering camp, we attracted glances from our clan-mates almost immediately. The rogues behind us gathered together in a tight bundle with Shiver sheltered in the middle, gazes flickering and pelts prickling.

"Take this to the fresh-kill," Wolfshade meowed, dropping my squirrel at my paws. "I'm going to get Leafstar."

He dashed off, stopping for a moment to meow something to Patchfoot. Patchfoot replied and Wolfshade turned, bounding up the cliff and entering Leafstar's den.

I carried the squirrel and the rabbit to the fresh-kill pile, dropping them there before walking back to the rogues. My clan-mates had grown curious at their presence and had crept closer. The rogues looked completely on edge, fur bristling, eyes wide, looking like any moment they might make a run for it back into the trees.

"It's alright," I meowed, walking up to them. "We won't hurt you. I promise."

Whisper's gaze met mine, and she gave me a single nod.

Wolfshade appeared in the mouth of the leader's den with Leafstar at his side. Leafstar hesitated for a moment to survey the camp before bounding down the cliff with Wolfshade following. Leafstar made her way through the small group of my gathered clan-mates, coming to stand next to me.

"Greetings," Leafstar meowed, dipping her head to the rogues. "My name is Leafstar, leader of SkyClan."

"I am Whisper," Whisper meowed.

"Name's Tattered," Tattered rumbled with a nod.

"I'm Shiver," Shiver said, taking a shaky seat on the sandy ground.

"…Crash," Crash growled after a pause.

"Wolfshade tells me that he and Lightningpaw found you on our territory and that you seek prey and shelter from SkyClan?" Leafstar meowed.

They nodded hesitantly, their eyes as wide as owls'.

"And, you need aid for your wound?" Leafstar asked, nodding towards Shiver.

"Yes," Whisper meowed, responding for her.

Whisper cast a glance at her companions before turning to Leafstar again. She swallowed hard, but seemed to draw strength from her companions' faces.

"But, that's not all we want. We want to join your Clan," Whisper meowed, glancing back at Leafstar.

I felt a jolt of surprise. I glanced at my mother, and I saw the same shock I felt reflected on Leafstar's face.

"Really?" she meowed.

"We've seen how you work together. We've been in your territory for some time now," Whisper confessed. "We think it would be nice to be a part of this group."

A soft murmur rose from my gathered clan-mates, but Leafstar waved her tail, and they soon fell silent. I flicked my gaze across the group of cats around us, trying to gauge my clan-mate's thoughts. Some expressions looked mild and curious, but I saw Shrewtooth's face screwed up in anger, and Fallowfern's tail was twitching uncertainly. I glanced over at my brother, seeing Nightpaw's brow furrowed and jaw set.

I took a step closer to my mother, feeling a surge of nervousness at all the eyes turning on me, but I felt obligated to speak up. I lowered my voice so only Leafstar could hear.

"Whisper and Shiver were the cats that saved me, Seedpaw and Creampaw from that fox some moons ago," I murmured. "They wouldn't have done that if they weren't good cats. Maybe we should consider their request."

Leafstar nodded, her face thoughtful.

"You may stay with us. Your friend needs help, and our medicine cat, Echosong, will heal her. But, right now you know nothing of our ways besides what you've seen of how we hunt and patrol the forest," Leafstar said before hesitating, sweeping her gaze over the rogues. "...But, if joining SkyClan is what you truly want, then we can teach you. You will hunt with us, and you will train with us. And, when you learn the Warrior Code, the code upon which we build our lives, then you may join us, if that is still what you wish."

"Thank you Leafstar," Whisper meowed, bowing her head to my mother.

"Tinycloud, show Shiver to Echosong's den," Leafstar meowed, nodding at the nearby Tinycloud.

As Tinycloud helped Shiver away, Leafstar turned and bounded up Rockpile.

"Let all cats old enough to catch their own prey gather under Rockpile for a Clan meeting," she yowled.

Any cats that still were in the dens came trickling down the cliffs and onto the sandy ground. I saw Sharpclaw appear from the nursery and come bounding down to sit close to the Rockpile, casting a confused glance at the rogues. Tattered, Whisper, and Crash remained grouped closely together towards the edge of camp, while Wolfshade padded over to take a seat next to me.

"These cats are Whisper, Tattered, and Crash," Leafstar meowed to the Clan. "And, their friend Shiver is currently being tend to by Echosong in the medicine cat's den, with a shoulder wound. They will be staying with us and participating in hunting and training. And, once that is complete, they will be allowed to join SkyClan, if they wish."

"But, these are the cats that have been hunting in our territory for moons! Stealing our prey!" Nettlesplash piped up, gesturing his tail angrily at the rogues.

"I know that," Leafstar meowed, her voice steady.

"...And you're just letting them in?" Nettlesplash said in confusion.

"With all due respect, Leafstar, Nettlesplash has a point," Sharpclaw meowed, rising to his paws. "We know nothing about these cats, and you are welcoming them into the camp. There are kits here."

The deputy's green gaze flickered to the nursery where his mate and kits were for a heartbeat before coming back to rest on Leafstar.

"Your concerns are justified," Leafstar meowed, dipping her head to Sharpclaw. "But, these cats have never attacked us. In fact, Whisper and Shiver saved Creampaw, Seedpaw and Lightningpaw from the fox a few moons back. I believe that more than proves that they are not a threat to our Clan. So, we will welcome them, as SkyClan welcomes all peaceful visitors and travelers. As long as they perform their hunting duties for SkyClan."

There were a few uncertain mumbles from the crowd.

"But, how do we know that we can trust them?" Nightpaw meowed under his breath from a few tail lengths away from me.

"Weren't you listening? Because Whisper and Shiver saved me, mouse-brain," I meowed under my breath back at him. "They could have let the fox eat me, Creampaw, and Seedpaw, but they didn't."

"Alright, so that means they won't slit all our throats in our sleep," Nightpaw meowed, rolling his eyes. "But, they did steal prey from us, unchecked, for moons. How do you know that they won't clean out our fresh-kill pile? Or steal all our herbs? Or run away during in the middle of a battle?"

My tail swished uncertainly behind me.

_I wish he didn't have a point._

I opened my mouth to argue back, but I was cut off when Leafstar continued to speak.

"Tattered, Whisper and Crash will be assigned mentors to oversee their training, and Shiver will receive one as well, once her injury has healed. Petalnose you will train Whisper. Ebonyclaw, you are with Tattered. And, Brackenstorm with Crash."

My brow furrowed as I noticed the calculation behind her assignments.

_Leafstar picked only warriors that have experience living with two-legs and joined the clan after the initial reformation of SkyClan. Cats that more open to strangers joining._

I looked around at my clan-mates, wondering if anyone else noticed the pattern. Not everyone looked particularly happy, but no one was disagreeing with Leafstar, at least out loud. I turned my head to look at Wolfshade, trying to see his thoughts, but the dark grey tom's face was carefully unreadable.

"Alright, everyone. Return to your duties," Leafstar meowed and bounded off of the Rockpile.


	21. A Chilling Dawn

Morning sunlight streamed in through the mouth of the apprentice’s den, falling across my closed eyes. I blinked my eyelids open and yawned, arching my back and stretching my paws far out in front of me, digging my claws into the moss of my nest.

Shaking my pelt, I stepped out of my nest carefully as to not to rouse Nightpaw. He had moved his nest again, and it was now back to being pressed up tightly against mine. Whisper, Tattered, and Crash were also sleeping in the apprentice den, since they were receiving training like apprentices. Shiver was still in the medicine cats den, but I had heard her cut was already getting better under the care of Echosong. The rogues' nests were against the far wall, so Nightpaw had moved his nest to be as far from theirs as possible.

My ears twitched as I glanced at the three of them. The rogues had only been here a few sunrises, and so some of my clan-mates, including Nightpaw, were still understandable wary.

_But, I'm sure he will get over them being here soon. When he sees that they are good cats, and Leafstar was right to let them join._

I padded out of the den, bounding down into the camp. I quickly found Wolfshade’s pelt in the crowd, and we headed out on a hunt.

* * *

With new-leaf only beginning, we spent some time searching the territory for prey. We managed to find two birds and two squirrels; a respectable haul for the time of year. Still though, I hoped to least grab another mouse before we returned to camp. I was sniffing the air for prey-trails when a rancid scent drifted into my mouth around the sweet scent of the sparrow I held in my jaws.

My shoulder fur bristled.

"Do you smell that?" I meowed to Wolfshade.

He sniffed the air.

"It smells like really strong crow-food," he replied, wrinkling his nose up in disgust.

My stomach flipped, both from the sickening, rotting scent and from unease. I couldn't shake a creeping, unpleasant feeling that something was very wrong.

_We need to investigate this._

I glanced at Wolfshade and saw that his eyes were in agreement with mine. I turned and strode in the direction of the scent. As I was bounding through the undergrowth, following the trail, I almost stumbled over a damp patch of fur in the tall grass near the stream. I recoiled, the scent of crow-food rushing over me like a wave. My throat spasmed as I dry-heaved from it.

In the patch of dewy grass in front of me lay the fox, dead, its body half hidden by the green fronds. Its eyes were open, but empty and glassy, staring out at nothing. Its tongue was bloated and purple, hanging out between broken yellow teeth and lolling in the dirt. Its patchy red pelt looked bleached from the sun on its skeletal frame, and I saw its fur shift as worms wiggled through its skin. I shuddered, taking a step back, my eyes wide with horror. I dropped the bird I was carrying at my paws, trying hard not to retch at the sight and smell of the rotting thing.

"Good riddance," Wolfshade growled, padding forward and peering down at it.

"...It seems strange though doesn't it?" I whispered, still staring down at the fox.

"What does?" Wolfshade meowed, turning back to me.

My gaze was locked on the fox's eyes. I seemed unable to move mine from its glassy, lifeless ones. The fox's slitted yellow eyes looked eerily a lot like a cat's.

"...It's new-leaf. It made it all the way through leaf-bare. Now there should be more prey for it to eat and survive. But, it's dead anyway," I meowed, still staring down into its eyes as a feeling of horror grew in the back for my throat.

"Yeah, but maybe it was sick. Or too weak to hunt," Wolfshade pointed out. "But, either way, it's good news since we don't have to worry about it anymore. We should tell Leafstar when we get back to camp."

"Right," I meowed softly, taking another step back and finally forcing my gaze away.

"Let's get out of here," I meowed, snatching up the birds from by my feet and turning to race through the forest.

* * *

The sun was setting by the time we got back to the gorge, we ended up spending all day in the forest hunting. Wolfshade led the way to the fresh kill pile, where we dropped our prey onto it. I had been quiet the rest of the way back, my thoughts still on the fox.

"Want to share a rabbit?" Wolfshade asked, pawing it out from under the prey we dropped.

I gave my head a small shake, trying to pull myself out of my thoughts.

"Yeah I do. But, are the elders and queens fed?" I asked, making my gaze focus on Wolfshade instead of the image of the fox in my mind.

"Creampaw and Seedpaw should have taken care of that while we were out hunting," Wolfshade meowed, before casting me a look of amusement. "But, shouldn't I be the one asking you that?”

I purred and tried to force myself to be cheerful, despite the fox looming over my thoughts like a dark cloud.

"Come on, we both know who the _actual_ responsible one is here," I teased, flicking his ear with my tail.

Wolfshade just purred in response. He pulled the rabbit out, and we ate in silence. I couldn’t muster up the strength for conversation right now, with my thoughts preoccupied. Instead, my gaze just scanned over the camp, searching for Leafstar’s pelt. I spotted her climbing down from her den and felt a flicker of relief. She would know what to do about the fox.

I swallowed my final bite of prey and rose to my paws.

"We should tell her about the dead fox," I meowed to Wolfshade.

He nodded in agreement. He quickly scraped some dirt over the remains of the prey, and we strode over to her.

"Leafstar," I called.

My mother stopped and waited as Wolfshade and I came up to her.

"I'm glad you're here. There is something I need to talk to you about," Leafstar meowed.

"We have to talk to you too," I said, tail twitching as the unsettling image of the fox invaded my thoughts again.

"While we were hunting earlier, we came across the fox. It's dead. In the southern part of the woods," Wolfshade meowed.

"That's good," Leafstar meowed, giving a pleased nod. "I'm sure the Clan will be relieved to hear that that threat is now gone."

I worriedly chewed on the inside of my cheek as I looked at Leafstar. Should I tell her about the terrible feeling the fox gave me? Or, would she think I was just being mouse-brained?

I gave my head a small shake. Maybe I _was_ being mouse-brained. Of course the fox gave me a bad feeling— it smelt so terrible, and looked horrifying, and I almost tread on it! But, that didn't mean that it was something I had to worry about. I should just be happy it's gone, like Wolfshade and Leafstar were.

“What was it that you wanted to talk to me about?” I asked, trying to push thoughts about the fox away.

Leafstar gazed at me, her eyes shining brightly.

“I think it’s about time we hold you and Nightpaw’s warriors ceremony,” she purred. “I’m so proud of you both, and I know you two will be warriors that will make SkyClan proud too.”

All my worry about the fox evaporated at once as my heart suddenly somersaulted with excitement and anticipation.

My warriors ceremony?! Now?! Today!

_I've waited for this for so long! I'm finally going to be a warrior!_

I dug my paws into the ground as my muscles shook with tension.

"Thank you Leafstar!” I gasped. “I won't let you down!”

Leafstar purred louder and pressed her muzzle against my cheek. I rumbled a purr in response, breathing in my mother's familiar scent. Then, with the setting sun turned the sky blazing red and orange behind her, Leafstar spun and dashed away from Wolfshade and I, bounding up the Rockpile.

"Let all cats old enough to catch their own prey, gather under Rockpile for a Clan meeting!" Leafstar called.

My stomach flipped with sudden nerves as I watched all of my clan-mates appear, some coming out of dens, running down sides the cliff like flowing water, and bounding over from the edges of the camp to gather around where we were. Wolfshade turned to me, his green eyes shimmering happily and a purr in his throat.

"Today, I will preform one of the most important ceremonies in Clan life— the making of new warriors. Nightpaw and Lightningpaw, please step forward," Leafstar said, her eyes shining.

My eyes met with my brother's from across the camp. His face mirrored my delight. Heart pounding, paws slightly shaking, I strode forward, into the center of the semicircle of cats. For a heartbeat, I worried that my fur was dirty and matted with leaf-litter after spending all day walking around the forest.

_I didn't even have time to give myself a quick grooming!_

I tried to quickly shake out my pelt. Nightpaw padded to my side, his dark fur sleek except for a small splatter of mud on his hind legs. But, our mother didn't wait for us to prepare. She bounded down Rockpile, her blue eyes shining with pride and love for us. I raised my head and tail, straightened my shoulders and did my best to meet her blue gaze levelly.

"I, Leafstar, leader of SkyClan, call upon my warrior ancestors to look down on these apprentices. They have trained hard to understand the ways of your noble code, and I commend them to you as warriors in their turn," Leafstar meowed, eyes turning upwards, gazing at the rapidly darkening sky.

I followed her gaze. The first stars of Silverpelt were beginning to twinkle. Then Leafstar's eyes flickered back down to us.

"Nightpaw, Lightningpaw, do you promise to uphold the warrior code and to protect and defend your Clan, even at the cost of your lives?" Leafstar asked.

I felt a boulder of weight settle down on my shoulders at the seriousness of her words. I had heard them may times before, but this time, when she was asking it of me, they seemed all the more heavy. I straightened my posture, preparing to take the weight of the promise on.

"I do," Nightpaw replied first, his voice deep and solemn.

"I do," I echoed, my mew steady and certain despite my pounding heart and the nervousness that swirled in my belly.

"Then by the powers of StarClan, I give you your warrior names," Leafstar announced.

My heart pounded hard in my chest in excitement and nervousness as I stood before my leader, nameless, my old identity stripped away in preparation for my new one.

Leafstar turned to my brother.

"Nightpaw, from this moment you will be known as Nightstorm. StarClan honors your bravery and loyalty, and we welcome you as a full member of SkyClan," Leafstar said.

Nightstorm dipped his head. Leafstar tilted her head up to rest her muzzle on his board forehead, and he licked her shoulder. They murmured something to each other, before Nightstorm took a step back, leaving me the center of everyone's attention. My mother turned to me.

"Lightningpaw, from this moment you will be known as Lightningfire. StarClan honors your intelligence and determination, and we welcome you as a full member of SkyClan," Leafstar meowed.

I felt a rush at the words. She rested her muzzle on my head, and I rasped my tongue across her tabby shoulder.

"I love you," my mother purred.

"I love you too," I whispered back, before stepping backwards, beside Nightstorm.

"Lightningfire! Nightstorm! Lightningfire! Nightstorm!" The entire Clan raised their voices in a loud, joyful cry.

I raised my head and tail high, blinding happiness ripping through me at the sound of our new names.

_We did it! I am a SkyClan warrior!_

The chanting dissolved as the Clan surged towards us. Pelts pressed against me from every side, congratulations were shouted, and cats affectionately nuzzled me.

"I'm so proud of you," Brackenstorm purred, pressing himself against me briefly.

"Thank you, Dad," I purred back.

His eyes shone with love for a moment, before he slipped away, making room for another cat.

"Lightningfire. That's a great name,” I heard Wolfshade’s voice murmur from behind me.

I whipped around, inadvertently hitting Sagewhisker's ear with my tail while I turned.

"Sorry, Sagewhisker!" I said.

He just blinked good-naturedly.

"Congratulations!" he purred, before padding away between the other cats.

My gaze found Wolfshade in the crowd. He was still several tail-lengths away from me, blocked by a ring of other cats who had come to congratulate me and my brother. Still though, he was gazing at me with shining eyes, and I felt my chest warming in response. I stared back at him, a purr building in my throat, and Wolfshade dipped his head to me.

My attention was pulled away from him at the sound of Cherrytail’s mew.

I glanced over to see her making her way over to me. I purred, heart warming at the sight of my old mentor.

"Congratulations. I know you will be as great a warrior as you were an apprentice," Cherrytail purred.

"Thank you, Cherrytail," I said, dipping my head to her. "How are the kits doing?"

"Their eyes have opened, and now they ask me nonstop questions about the camp while they stumble around the den," she purred, her eyes shining. "I left them in Fallowfern's care for a few moments. I definitely wouldn't trust them to be alone for even a heartbeat!"

I purred loudly.

"I'll have to visit them again soon," I meowed.

"Please do," Cherrytail purred, stepping forward to affectionately swipe her tongue over my cheek before she padded back towards the nursery.

Two bouncing apprentices bounded forward to take her place.

"Congratulations! Congratulations!" Creampaw and Seedpaw yowled to me.

“Thank you,” I purred. ”It will be your warriors ceremony next.”

The apprentices' fur fluffed out excitedly, and they dashed off, meowing their goodbyes over their shoulders. Briarspot padded over to replace them, along with Lionclaw and Ravenfur.

They all gave their congratulations, with Briarspot gently bumping her forehead against mine, while Lionclaw gave my shoulder a friendly nudge, and Ravenfur happily twined herself around me.

"Lightningfire," a rasping voice said.

I turned towards the voice to see Whisper. I blinked, unable to hide my surprise that she had come to congratulate me.

"Thank you for bringing me and my friends to SkyClan," Whisper meowed, dipping her head to me.

"You saved my life because of it," Shiver added, limping through the crowd and over to me.

This was the first time I'd seen the white cat since she came to camp several sunrises ago. Echosong must have finally allowed her out of the medicine cat's den. The cut on Shiver's shoulder was padded with herbs, but the swelling looked like it had completely disappeared, and I could no longer detect the sour scent of infection in the air. Her eyes were bright and her pelt looked sleeker.

"You're welcome. I was just doing what anyone here would have done," I meowed, dipping my head to them. "But, I'm glad I was able to help."

Whisper and Shiver blinked gratefully at me.

"Also, you'll be glad to know that the fox is dead," I added to them. "I found its corpse rotting in the woods earlier today."

Whisper blinked happily, and she gave a purr— a harsh grating sound.

"Serves it right for doing this to me," Shiver sniffed, nodding at her herb-plastered wound, but she also gave a satisfied purr.

I blinked fondly back at them. Cats were still mingling around camp, but Leafstar stepped forward.

"The sun has set. Now Nightstorm and Lightningfire must hold silent vigil until sunrise," Leafstar announced.

I clamped my jaws shut and nodded goodbye to Whisper and Shiver, hoping that they understood that I could no longer speak. I turned and my gaze found Wolfshade, who had stayed close even as the crowd had dispersed.

“Goodnight,” he said in his low voice. “We can all sleep well knowing you and Nightstorm are on the watch.”

I purred back softly before reluctantly turning away from him and padded out of the crowd, following Nightstorm up the path to Skyrock. Once we reached the high vantage point, I settled on the cool stone, watching as most cats headed to the dens to sleep. I spotted Wolfshade's dark pelt lingering down in camp for a while before he too bounded up the cliff and disappeared into the shadowy cave.

As Nightstorm and I silently sat on Skyrock, the air began to chill, showing that the long claws of leaf-bare still had some grip in our territory. Our breaths turned to fog under the starry sky. I held my chin high, fur fluffed against the cold; the sound of my clan-mates' cheers still echoing in my ears.

_Lightningfire. Lightningfire._

I tried my name out, mouthing it silently, as to not break the silence of our vigil. I liked the way it flowed on my tongue. It was a good name, I decided, suppressing a purr.

_And, Leafstar named me after Firestar, the cat that saved SkyClan._

My pelt warmed with happiness at the thought.

 _Of course, with Sandstorm's help,_ I amended, shooting a sidewise glance at my brother.

 _We both have great warrior names, f_ _itting for such great warriors!_

Pride and pure joy ripped through me, keeping me fully awake as the long night wore on. I was a warrior in the greatest Clan in the world, and I had my family and my friends. I had everything I've ever wanted.

I turned my eyes up to Silverpelt.

_Thank you._

Our warrior ancestors twinkled down at us, as silent as always.

* * *

The land was utterly silent as I sat under the light of the almost-half moon, which turned the gorge below me silver. Nightstorm sat on the far side of Skyrock, opposite of me, watching over the other half of our territory. I glanced over at him, watching his dark flanks rise and fall as he breathed quietly. He seemed to be the only creature besides myself in this whole forest that was still awake. I took a deep breath of the crisp air, my eyes sweeping over the silver stones in the camp below. The sky in the east was oh-so faintly lightening, indicating that dawn was not too far off.

I flexed my claws eagerly, excited to finish my vigil and start my first day as a warrior.

_"… I went out in the forest and saw it for myself."_

My ears pricked as, very faintly, a voice drifted into my ears. It was so quiet that I could've maybe imagined it, but I felt like that didn't seem likely.

I blinked, straining my ears to listen to see if I could catch any more words. I glanced at Nightstorm, but he was blankly staring out at the forest in the distance, looking like he had not heard a thing.

_Maybe I did imagine it?_

"Why would you do that Echosong?"

My ears pricked again, and this time, I distinctly recognized this voice as Leafstar's. I definitely wasn't imagining it. It was just very faint because it was echoing up the cliffs from the silent camp. Excitement prickled at me again. Perhaps Leafstar was coming to dismiss me and Nightstorm from our vigil?

"I had a bad feeling and seeing the fox just confirmed my fears," Echosong meowed, her voice clearer now, but still only a whisper in volume.

My brow furrowed, my excitement waning.

No, this wasn't about our vigil. The tone of Echosong's voice was concerning. Her words seemed to contain an insidious undercurrent.

"What do you mean?" Leafstar meowed softly.

My eyes swept the camp, but I could not see where Leafstar and Echosong were conferring.

"It was an omen." Echosong's voice was grave.

I felt my blood go cold at the dread in her tone. My stomach clenched, and my claws unsheathed to scrape the stone beneath me.

"The fox survived the harshest parts of leaf-bare only to die now, in new-leaf, a season which should be a time of revival and rebirth," Echosong continued.

Heart pounding, I strained my ears, searching the breeze vainly for my mother's reply.

"…What are you saying, Echosong?" Leafstar meowed finally.

"We cannot lower our guard. Storm clouds still gather on the horizon. The worst for our Clan has yet to come," Echosong said.

The camp went silent again as their voices faded from my ears. Instead, birds started to sing, their chirping filling the air. My muscles were tense, and my heart still pounded in my chest. I straightened, starting blankly out into the horizon. I watched as the sun rose in the east, its yellow rays pouring over the tops of the trees. It reached all the way out to Skyrock to shine light on me, enveloping me in its warm, golden fur... But, in my bones all I felt was cold.


	22. New-Leaf; New Life

I twitched awake, a gasp flying from my mouth at the image of the fox’s unseeing eyes boring into my mind. I shuddered, shaking my ears as if I could shake off the nightmare like cold water.

My gaze flickered around the warriors’ den, scanning over the pelts of my peacefully sleeping clan-mates. Too unsettled to go back to sleep, I straightened to better look around the huge cave, still not used to the massive size of the warriors' den.

My nest was next to Nightstorm's, and ours were two of the nests closest to the mouth of the den. These nest were the brighter and draftier spots since we were some of the youngest warriors. The senior warriors got the darkest, coziest nests in the back of the cave. Although I knew I would definitely prefer it if I wasn't woken up at the crack of dawn by the sunlight falling across my closed eyelids, our nests were still good. The cave was large enough for the whole Clan to shelter in if need be, so we were still nestled in fairly deep in the cave. I wasn't going to complain about my sleeping spot being a bit closer to the entrance than Sharpclaw’s!

I yawned, tiredness dragging at me. It was my first night in the warriors’ den after my vigil last night. I had managed to nap a bit during the day, but I still wasn’t caught up on sleep. I knew I should try to curl up and go back to bed, but worry about the fox omen nagged at me.

I replayed what I’d overheard from Leafstar and Echosong at the end of my vigil in my mind. I shuddered, digging my claws into the moss of my nest.

_Oh StarClan, what horrible things are coming for my Clan? And, more importantly, how can I stop it?_

My tail twitched. So far, my mother had not said anything to the Clan about Echosong's omen, and I hadn't spoken to anyone about it either… but that was because I knew it wasn't a conversation I had been supposed to hear in the first place.

My stomach tightened with unease.

_Maybe Leafstar doesn't want to cause a panic? I'm sure she and Echosong are working hard on figuring out what it means._

I kneaded my claws anxiously into the mossy nest under me. I had gotten the same sense from the dead fox as Echosong. I _knew_ that dead fox was bad news. But, if only I knew with equal certainty what news it was foreboding…

_What's the use of getting an omen warning about something bad, if you have no clue what the bad thing is? How can we be prepared?_

In my head I saw images of my clan-mates dying, and I shuddered again.

_...What would I do if I lost my friends and family?_

I shook my ears again, trying to dislodge the dark thoughts. I briskly rose to my paws.

_Maybe I should go down and get a drink of water. It might help clear my mind._

Being careful not to wake any of my clan-mates, I turned and padded out of the den.

The moonlight fell upon the empty camp, lighting the cliffs up in silver. Although muted, the darkness was still full of life; I could hear the rustling of the plants in the breeze and the occasional call of a night creature, and, if I listened close enough, the slow breaths of my sleeping clan mates coming from the dens. I fluffed up my fur against the slight chill of the wind and padded down the cliff to the stream, where I lapped up some of the cool water. Swiping my tongue around my mouth, I straightened, watching the silver stream gleam in the moonlight for a moment. I took a deep breath of the clear air, some of my worry about the fox fading.

I turned my eyes up to Silverpelt.

_SkyClan can face whatever it is that’s coming… can’t we?_

The stars twinkled down at me, equal parts warm and distant.

A prayer to StarClan started to form in my mind, but I couldn't find the words. I supposed that was because I didn't know what exactly I was praying for. I sighed and bowed my head, just as the feeling of being watched washed over me, raising the fur on the back of my neck.

I turned and looked behind me to see the outline of a cat perched on Skyrock. I relaxed as I realized it was only the night guard. I watched the cat watching me, a sense of familiarity slowly growing as I recognized the shape of the dark silhouette.

I rose to my paws and walked over to the cliff, easily climbing the steep path that led to Skyrock. When I reached the gap in the cliff that separated Skyrock from the rest of the camp, I cleared it in one large, powerful bound, landing nimbly right next to the guard.

"Hello, Wolfshade," I greeted him with a nod.

"Lightningfire," he said, a hint of a purr in his deep voice. "Can't sleep?"

"Yeah," I meowed with a sigh, giving my head a small shake. "Can I join you? There's not much else for me to do right now."

"Of course," he said with a blink.

I sat down next to him, our fur barely brushing. The faint touch of his pelt was soothing.

"Why can't you sleep?" he asked, blinking at me curiously. “I must admit that I’m surprised. I thought you’d still be tired from your vigil.”

“I am,” I said. “You know that I just have trouble sleeping sometimes. That's all.”

I glanced away from him and scuffled my paws on the loose pebbles on top of the smooth stone under me, my fur prickling. I knew I shouldn’t tell him about Echosong’s omen, but maybe I could still share some of my worries about the fox with him.

“Right now it’s because of the dead fox,” I admitted. “Something about it… unsettles me.”

I stared out into the empty air and the tree-line beyond the gorge.

“I had a dream about it… or, a nightmare, really,” I said, the fur on my back rising slightly. “It woke me up.”

I bent my head to give my chest fur an embarrassed lick.

“It’s the first time that I’ve dreamt about the fox, but I do have other nightmares sometimes,” I confessed. “They wake me up, and then I can't fall back asleep.”

I flattened my ears, feeling a bit like a silly kit by admitting to him that bad dreams kept me up at night. But, when I glanced back over at him, his gaze was sympathetic.

"Have you tried speaking to Echosong about it?" he asked. "She may have an herb that'll allow you to sleep more easily."

I scraped my claws across the stone in frustration.

"I don't think she has any herbs that can cure bad dreams," I said with a forced purr.

Wolfshade purred lightly back in response, arching a brow.

"Are you sure about that?" he meowed drily. "Echosong has so many plants, sometimes I think she'd be able to cure the need to blink."

My whiskers twitched in amusement, but I didn't say anything. I glanced away from him again, gazing out into the distance.

"Well, you could lay down here for a bit, if you want,” Wolfshade added. "And, try to relax. The change of scenery might help you to drift off."

My tail twitched doubtfully.

_I don't think I'll be able to sleep, but I guess what's the harm in trying? I am tired._

I settled down in a crouch, feeling the cool, smooth stone brush my belly fur. I shivered slightly at the touch.

"Cold?" Wolfshade asked.

He crouched down too, his fur brushing my side as he leaned over to lend me his pelt for warmth. My heart started to hammer at the touch of his fur pressing against mine.

He was _so_ close to me.

My fur flushed, chasing away more of the cold.

_How does he expect me to sleep when being so close to him makes my heart race like a rabbit's?_

I glanced over at him out of the corner of my eye before turning my gaze back forward.

_Maybe he doesn't know the effect he has on me._

I rested my chin down on the cold stone, but then a sudden surge of boldness shot through me.

I don't know from what deep cave inside of me that courage crawled out of, but it prompted me to press closer to Wolfshade, nestling into his side and resting my chin on his paws.

For a fraction of a heartbeat, Wolfshade did nothing. I took a deep breath, feeling all my muscles tense, and my heart rate tick up. But, this time, it was from fear rather than excitement. My ears burnt hotter as a terrible surge of embarrassment rushed through me.

_Oh fox-dung! I've done something horribly wrong._

I was on the verge of springing back to my paws, stammering an apology, and possibly fleeing from Skyrock entirely when the soft caress of his tail brushed across my flank and draped over my side. My heart thumped in my ears as his body rumbled with a purr, and I felt the gentle rasp of his tongue on my head.

"Try to sleep," he murmured.

Then, the gentle rasping of his tongue resumed, rhythmically grooming my head and back. A loud purr rumbled in my chest to match with his. I felt myself relaxing as bright, warm happiness flooded through me. Now I didn't want to sleep. I wanted to be completely conscious to feel and remember every perfect second of us here together. But, as I was still purring, my eyes began to drift shut against my will. Lulled to the edge of sleep by Wolfshade's warm fur and gentle grooming, my purr faded away as I finally drifted off. My last feeling was the press of his pelt against mine and the smell of his sharp scent in my nose.

* * *

I awoke to a soft muzzle nuzzling my face.

"Lightningfire," a voice breathed.

"The sun's almost up."

My eyes flickered open, and my first feeling was one of confusion as I stared out into the brightening sky, not recognizing where I was. It wasn't until I turned to look at the cat next to me that I remembered.

Wolfshade's soft smoky grey fur still enveloped me; his long tail curled over my back. His grey-green eyes stared intently into mine as I raised my head from his paws. His face was tired, but there was a happy look in his eyes. Despite spending the night out on the cold rock, I felt better rested than I'd had in days.

My sleep had been unplagued by dreams, but with this new day and new energy came uncertainty where everything seemed so simple and easy the night before. I could tell Wolfshade felt it too when his gaze flickered awkwardly away from mine, but he let his tail linger on my back a moment longer before moving it aside.

I couldn't help but feeling a flash of disappointment when its soft pressure was removed. However, Wolfshade did stay pressed up close to me.

"Good morning," he purred.

"Good morning," I meowed through a yawn, blinking in the bright sunrise.

I turned my head to bury my face in the soft ruff of fur on Wolfshade's neck to block out the light.

"It's too bright out," I grumbled good-naturedly.

Wolfshade's body vibrated with a purr, prompting me to lift my face. He gazed at me with a warm look in his eyes. Impulsively, I leaned forward and gently rasped my tongue against his cheek, smoothing down his unruly fur. Wolfshade closed his eyes, his purr rumbling even louder in his chest.

"How are you feeling?" he meowed, eyes still tightly screwed shut.

I took this as an invitation to keep grooming him, smoothing down more of his pelt.

"I slept well," I meowed to him.

I was about to keep cleaning the fluffy ruff of fur on the back of his neck, when he interrupted me by twisting his head around to bury his face in my shoulder fur. I pressed my cheek to the side of his head in reply.

A happiness as brilliant and powerful as the sun burned in my chest. It felt like I was flying, the world at my paws.

_What is this? I've never felt this way before._

I felt a jolt of nervousness at that thought, my chest tightening. The strength of my feelings frightened me, but somehow I felt like I would be okay... as long as I was with him.

I heard Wolfshade breathe in deeply, drawing in my scent. I closed my eyes, doing the same to him, letting the sharp coolness of the pine smell nip at my tongue.

All I wanted was to stay like this, just the two of us, forever. But, the sun was coming up and cats were padding out of their dens. We had responsibilities to take care of.

"Will you head back to your nest to sleep?" I meowed.

"I don't want to," Wolfshade sighed into my pelt.

I purred, delight surging through me.

_He feels the same way that I do!_

But, then Wolfshade sighed and lifted his head. He gazed at me for a heartbeat longer.

"I'm going to sleep for a while, but then do you want to go for a walk with me later?" he asked.

"Sounds good," I meowed.

Wolfshade leaned forward to give my forehead a final lick before pulling himself to his paws. I got to my feet too and climbed down from Skyrock with him. When we reached the warriors' den Wolfshade departed with a wave of his tail, vanishing into the large, dark cave. I climbed the rest of the way down to the floor of the gorge, feeling like leaping around camp and yowling my joy to the open sky.

I resisted the urge, but as some of the high of the interaction wore off, I felt my mind starting to whirl as anxiety replaced excitement.

Question after question popped up in my head, mostly: _What did last night mean? Does Wolfshade actually like_ ** _me?_** _What about Minttail?_

I shook my head, trying to quiet the voices in my mind. I needed something to distract myself with before it turned into a full whirlwind of anxiety. I glanced around camp and noticed Sharpclaw organizing patrols, I started to pad over to him, but before I could make it to him, I was intercepted by Creampaw and Seedpaw.

“Lightningfire!” Creampaw called, placing a bundle of moss that she was carrying up to the elders’ den down so she could speak better.

I glanced over at her, my ears pricking with curiosity.

“Yeah, Creampaw?” I asked.

She shot me a teasing look that made my fur prickle.

“So, you and Wolfshade, huh?” she asked, her fluffy grey striped tail flicking mischievously.

My eyes widened.

_Mouse-dung! She must have seen us together earlier!_

I gave my chest a few swift licks, trying to flatten my fur as it prickled with embarrassment. Seedpaw tilted her her in confusion, shooting a glance from Creampaw to me.

“What are you talking about?” she asked.

Creampaw purred smugly, delighting in the knowledge she held over her sister.

My thoughts whirled.

If Creampaw saw us together, then I knew we would be the gossip of the camp before sun-down, even though we'd done nothing but talk last night! It was all so new, and yet, so quickly I’d have Clovertail teasing me about when the kits were due, and _StarClan,_ Briarspot would gloat endlessly about it.

_Why couldn’t Wolfshade and I even just have one day to try to figure things out without having all our clan-mates sticking their noses into our business?_

I wanted to bury my face into my paws in embarrassment, but with the apprentices' eyes trained on me, I knew I had to play it cool.

“We were just on guard duty on Skyrock together last night,” I said.

Creampaw arched a brow at me.

“Is that all?” she asked.

Seedpaw’s eyes widened as she finally caught on.

“Oh! Do you _like_ him?” she asked.

My ears warmed.

“Maybe a little,” I admitted, and Creampaw and Seedpaw both let out excited squeals.

Even though my heart fluttered as I felt a rush of their contagious excitement, I fixed as stern of a glance as I could manage on the two of them.

“But, can you two keep this to yourselves for right now? Please?” I asked. “It’s all very new, and I don’t want everyone gossiping about it yet.”

Creampaw and Seedpaw quieted immediately, and they nodded their heads solemnly as if they viewed this duty with the highest regard.

“We won’t tell,” Creampaw promised.

“Yeah, you’re our friend, Lightningfire,” Seedpaw said.

I let out a quiet sigh as I felt a small flicker of relief.

“Thank you,” I said, giving them both a nod goodbye and continuing on my way to Sharpclaw.

_Of course, even if Creampaw and Seedpaw stay quiet, it might not be much use anyway, since who knows how many cats saw us sleeping or sharing tongues on Skyrock._

I gave my head a shake as my chest tightened with worry again.

_We weren't exactly being inconspicuous. Ugh, I should have thought of this before!_

“Lightningfire,” Sharpclaw meowed, giving me a nod, and pulling me from my thoughts. “I want you to join Patchfoot’s dawn patrol.”

I dipped my head to the deputy and walked over to Patchfoot. The patrol consisted of him, Creekfeather, Sagewhisker, and Minttail. Sagewhisker and Creekfeather meowed a greeting, which I returned. Minttail on the other hand, cast me a weird sidewise look. The fur on my back prickled, but I tried to ignore it.

Patchfoot led us out of the camp and soon we were bounding through the trees. Minttail kept casting sidewise glances at me, but I tried to keep my gazed locked straight ahead. _StarClan,_ after the awkward conversation with Seedpaw and Creampaw back at camp, the last thing I wanted to do was to catch Minttail's eye.

"Lightningfire," Minttail rumbled, cutting in front of me to stop me in my tracks.

Anxiety stabbed at me, but there was clearly no way for me to ignore her now. I watched the other cats in our patrol pull ahead before turning my gaze to Minttail.

"Yeah?" I asked, blinking at her, half in confusion, half in apprehension.

_Why does Minttail want? We aren't exactly the closest friends. Unless... Oh fox-dung, she definitely knows..._

"I saw you with Wolfshade this morning," she hissed.

My belly clenched. I opened my mouth, but before I could speak, Minttail continued.

"You need to stop," she spat.

My jaw dropped open in shock now, and my eyes widened at the presumptuousness of her command.

"What?" I choked out.

"You need to stop seeing Wolfshade or whatever in StarClan's name you're doing," she snapped.

My brow furrowed, anger and indignation starting to bubble inside of me.

"Last I checked, Wolfshade was a full grown warrior, completely capable of deciding who he allows to sit by him," I said, a warning growl in the back of my throat.

She narrowed her eyes at me, a deep growl rumbling ominously in her throat in response.

"Sitting? You were curled up right next to him!" she hissed.

The fur on the back of my neck prickled hotly as I remembered the feeling of our pelts pressing together.

"Who do you think you are? Just because you're Leafstar's daughter doesn't mean you're StarClan's gift to SkyClan. I don't know what you think you're doing, but let me make one thing perfectly clear," she growled, taking a threatening step towards me.

I flattened my ears, holding my ground. Minttail was a slight cat, smaller than me, but she fluffed out her fur and stretched up to bring herself nose to nose with me. My tail twitched behind me.

"Wolfshade's mine," she snarled.

Outrage flashed through me.

"He's not a prize to be won," I snapped back.

Then suddenly the bushes rustled to our right. Patchfoot pushed through the leaves, coming back to check on us. I realized with a blink that we must have appeared to have vanished from the patrol. I saw Patchfoot's eyes quickly notice our bristling fur and unsheathed claws. I bowed my head, my pelt turning hot with embarrassment at being caught arguing with a clan-mate by the senior warrior.

"Is everything alright here?" he asked with narrowed eyes.

I flattened my fur, quickly stepping back, away from Minttail.

"We're fine," I mumbled, brushing past Patchfoot and bounding ahead, wanting to get far away from both Patchfoot and his judging eyes and _infuriating_ Minttail.

I dashed through the forest, quickly catching up to Sagewhisker and Creekfeather.

"Hey, there you are!" Sagewhisker purred to me, blinking his pale green eyes warmly.

After Minttail's outburst, Sagewhisker's presence was like a pool of cool water on a hot summer day. I purred affectionately back at him in reply, before taking the lead and bounding along the border.

The rest of the patrol was undeniably frosty between me and Minttail. She hung back in the rear of the patrol and did not say one word the entire time, to me or any other cat. Patchfoot would occasionally cast me or her a look, but he didn't bring up our confrontation in the woods again either.

When we got back to camp, Minttail immediately stalked off, heading to the warriors' den. I watched her go, my tail-tip twitching. Was she going to speak with Wolfshade up there?

My question was answered when a felt a soft pelt brush against my side.

"Hey," Wolfshade purred, having come over from near the Rockpile.

"I thought we could go out now... What are you staring at?" he meowed.

I blinked, tearing my gaze away from Minttail as she padded inside of the warriors' den. I stared down at my paws, my ears hot.

"There is something I have to talk to you about," I muttered, scuffling my paws on the ground.

His tail gave the faintest twitch.

"Ok..." he meowed in reply, sounding almost... worried?

My gaze flew up to his and my heart dropped at the sudden sound of disappointment in his voice. I stepped forward and pressed my muzzle into his shoulder.

“It’s nothing serious,” I assured. “I just… Minttail and I got into an argument on patrol today.”

Wolfshade’s eyes widened.

“What?” he asked.

I glanced down at my feet as embarrassment surged through me again.

"She saw us on Skyrock this morning and was upset about it because she likes you. Other cats saw us too. I'm afraid we'll be the talk of the camp soon," I meowed.

Wolfshade's tail twitched faintly.

"Our clan-mates gossip about everything," he muttered. "There's no changing that. But, I'll have to talk to Minttail.”

My ears twitched at the sound of paw-steps, and I glanced over to see Minttail striding towards us. She had just padded back down the path from the dens in the cliff, evidently after realizing that Wolfshade had not been there.

“Looks like now’s your chance,” I said, nodding towards her.

Wolfshade looked over his shoulder and spotted the angry grey tabby stalking over. He squared his shoulders and straightened in preparation for her. I moved closer to his side and tried to keep my fur from bristling.

"Wolfshade! I need to talk with you," Minttail growled, her tail twitching behind her.

"Yes?" he answered calmly, sitting and curling his tail over his paws.

Minttail blinked.

_Maybe she's surprised that he didn't offer to talk somewhere more private?_

I continued to stand tensely at Wolfshade's shoulder while my fur prickled with awkwardness and anxiety. I wished I could excuse myself and leave the two of them to talk alone, but, knowing Minttail, she would see that as a sign of weakness on my part.

"What are you doing?" she demanded.

Wolfshade's brow furrowed.

"What do you mean?" he replied.

"What are you doing with her!" Minttail meowed, jabbing a paw in my direction.

My heart started to pound at her confrontational tone, but I didn't reply to her. Instead, I mirrored Wolfshade by sitting and trying to smooth my prickling pelt. I lifted my chin, refusing to be scared off by Minttail.

“Lightningfire and I were going to go for a walk..." Wolfshade meowed.

"Don't pretend like you don't know what I mean," Minttail hissed, narrowing her eyes.

"Alright, I won't," Wolfshade meowed, with a flash of impatience in his green eyes. "I have feelings for Lightningfire.”

I froze, my eyes widening slightly. Happiness surged through me, fighting through the anxiety I felt about Minttail, making my paws feel as light as the wind.

_I can't believe he said it out loud!_

Despite the hostility still radiating from Minttail, I had to stifle a purr of pure delight. Minttail, on the other paw, stood dumbfounded, jaw hanging halfway open, her eyes wide.

"B- but- but, how could you!" Minttail stammered. "We've been close practically our whole lives! While, in comparison, you barely know her!"

Wolfshade blinked, turning his face away from her. I saw his ears twitch back a bit regretfully.

"Why Lightningfire?" Minttail insisted. "We were friends first... For seasons, _I'm_ the one that's had feelings for you."

Minttail's green eyes searched his face desperately after her confession. Wolfshade sighed, still not able to meet her eyes.

"Minttail, you've been one of my best friends since we were kits, and I'd hate to lose your friendship... but I just don't feel the same way about you. I never have really. I'm sorry," Wolfshade meowed.

Her expression changed as quickly as the wind, and Minttial was suddenly enraged. She pinned her ears back, tail whipping from side to side.

"You pile of fox-dung! So that's it then. You're going to throw away everything we had, for _her!"_ she spat.

I felt a flash of anger in my chest at her insults of Wolfshade. I curled my lip up at Minttail, but forced myself to remain silent. I knew that this ultimately was a conversation between her and Wolfshade, and Wolfshade was plenty capable of defending himself. I glanced over at him to see that the tip of his tail twitched, and his brow furrowed. Although he still looked composed, I could see the tenseness of his muscles bunching beneath his pelt. He seemed like he was quickly losing patience with Minttail.

"Lightningfire is—" Wolfshade began, his gaze flickering back to Minttail's.

"Lightningfire is nothing better than a _kittypet's_ kit who gets whatever she wants when she wails hard enough because her mother is Clan leader!" Minttail interrupted with a vicious hiss.

I felt a rush of hot indignation flood through my veins.

"Hey!" I snapped, leaping to my paws. "What does Brackenstorm having been a kittypet have to do with anything?! Your mother used to be a kittypet too!"

"Yeah, but Petalnose doesn't treat me like I'm StarClan's gift to SkyClan," Minttail sneered.

I snarled in outrage. But, before I could say any more, Wolfshade took a step towards Minttail with a growl. Minttail tensed, her pelt bristling. Tail lashing, Wolfshade glowered at her, his green eyes flashing with anger.

"Say whatever you want about me. But, leave Lightningfire out of it. She's done nothing wrong; _I'm_ the one you have a problem with," he hissed.

Minttail scowled at him, giving no reply. My fur pricked at the feeling of eyes on me. I glanced around camp, noticing our argument had drawn curious glances from our clan-mates. My tail twitched uncomfortably, my stomach rolling at the feeling of their piercing gazes on the three of us.

"This conversation is over," Wolfshade rumbled, then with a swish of his tail, stalked off.

With a final angry glare at Minttail, I followed him, leaving her standing alone by the fresh-kill pile with the full force of the Clan's gaze on her.

Wolfshade stalked out of camp, turning around the bend of the gorge. As I rounded the side of the cliff after him, I found him waiting for me at the edge of the forest. He was still fuming, pacing back and forth, but as I walked over to him, he still and softened, touching his nose to mine.

"Are you alright? I'm sorry about Minttail. She's not usually like that," he meowed.

I blinked, tail twitching slightly as I arched a brow. I wasn't entirely sure if I agreed with his last statement.

"I'm fine," I replied, deciding not to go into that right now.

Wolfshade shook his head, the final remainders of anger fading from his face.

"What are we going to do with her?" he sighed.

I felt a pang of sympathy for Wolfshade. Although I didn't particularly like Minttail, she was his friend and that friendship was suffering because of me. I pressed my muzzle to his cheek in a comforting gesture.

"She might get used it with time," I muttered. "I mean, it is all very... new."

"That's true," Wolfshade said softly.

“Why don’t we go for our walk now?” I asked. “It might be nice to be out of camp for a bit. Clear our heads.”

Wolfshade nodded in agreement, and he touched his muzzle to my ear.

We turned and padded into the forest, walking in silence for a while. My mood was lifted by the beautiful day in the woods, although I was careful to keep our path far away from the fox's body.

I shuddered to myself. I definitely didn’t want to almost step on it again, and I doubted enough time had passed yet for the ravens and crows to pick the carcass clean.

My pelt brushed with Wolfshade's, and our strides matched as we headed up the hill that led to the meadow above the gorge, completely in sync with each other. Birds chirped in the trees, the scent of new-leaf in the air making them lively.

I glanced over at Wolfshade. His dark fur rippled, wiry muscles flexing under his pelt. Sunlight shone in his grey-green eyes, making them shimmer like a deep pool. I felt myself relaxing by just being near him. I shook my head, putting aside my worries about the fox and about Minttail for now. A sense of mischief filled me, and I eyed him playfully, suddenly leaning forward to press my muzzle to the thick ruff of fur on his neck.

"What?" he purred, turning to look at me.

I didn't reply. Instead, I sprung at him, wrapping my legs around his body and knocking his paws out from underneath him. With a surprised meow, Wolfshade tumbled over, and we were rolling down the hill, back the way we came, head over tail. We bumped against the ground, and each other, but all the while we were purring until we were breathless. We came to a rest at the bottom of the hill, legs tangled together, pelts covered in leaf litter and sticks. I was half-draped over Wolfshade, our chests pressed together. Wolfshade lay on his back, purring so hard his shoulders shook.

He raised his head up, pressing his nose to my cheek. I closed my eyes for a moment, breathing in his scent deeply. When my eyes flickered open again, he pulled his head away to gaze at me with eyes shining with intense emotion.

"You make me really happy, Wolfshade," I murmured.

He was silent for a moment, searching my gaze with his.

"There is no other cat I would rather be with right now," he meowed softly.

Purring, I twined my tail with his, burying my head in his chest.


	23. Whispers

I blinked awake in the warriors’ den. As I stretched and yawned, my gaze immediately went flickering over to the nest next to mine to search for Wolfshade’s pelt. He wasn’t in his nest, but his scent was still fresh. I closed my eyes for a moment, a soft purr of delight vibrating through me as I remembered how we had moved our nests next to each others’ only a few days ago. His green gaze had been so gentle and shy when he had suggested it to me.

My gaze flickered around the cave to see Sagewhisker and Minttail still sleeping side-by-side in their nests on the far side of the den from me, and my stomach clenched, some anxiety replacing the warm glow of happiness in my chest.

My relationship with Minttail was still rocky to say the least. Leafstar had spoken to me about her and Wolfshade a few days back, when news of our argument had gotten to her. I wasn’t sure if I was more embarrassed about my mother scolding me for arguing over a tom, or if I was more indignant that I was being reprimanded at all, when it was Minttail who had so brazenly insulted both me and Leafstar.

Then there was still the fox omen. As the sunrises passed and Leafstar and Echosong remained silent about it, I began to suspect that they may not be planning on making any sort of announcement about it to the Clan at all. Which meant that I should probably put it out of my mind too, but instead, it only made me more nervous. It seemed important, so why didn’t they want to say anything?

_Have they been keeping other omens from us too?_

I gave my head a small shake.

_Maybe I should stop worrying about omens. It’s not my job— I should leave that to medicine cats and leaders. They know better about it than me anyway. Right now, to protect my Clan, I should just go out there and be the best warrior I can be._

I raised my chin, determined to take on the day. I cast a final glance around the cave before I turned and padded out of the den.

I was greeted by a bright morning, and the sun was shining down on the busy camp. Cats bustled to and fro, going in and out on patrols. I bounded down the cliff face, padding into camp, and raising my tail happily in greeting to all my clan-mates there.

"Hello, Crash," I meowed to the black-and-white tom as I passed him, giving him a polite nod.

He grunted in reply. My ears twitched.

_As friendly as usual._

I spotted Wolfshade grooming himself by the base of Rockpile. I bounded over to him, greeting him with a purr and a nose touch. Wolfshade purred and blinked back in reply.

"How are you today?" Wolfshade meowed.

I hesitated, wanting to tell him my worries about the fox for a moment, but then I gave my head an almost imperceptible shake. He would just respond with logic and reason as he did that first day when we came across the fox. I appreciated his clear-eyed sense of the world— it was like a bright ray of light for me, especially when I seemed to so easily get tangled up in my own dark, confusing thoughts. But, there was no point in having the same conversation over again.

"I'm doing okay," I said. "Eager to start the day. What are you up to?"

"I'm about to go on a border patrol. Do you want me to ask Shrewtooth if there's room for one more?" Wolfshade meowed, angling his ears towards the group of gathering cats.

"As tempting as spending time with you is, I'd prefer to hunt this morning, actually," I said with a brief purr to take the edge off of declining him. "I was going to go see if Sharpclaw could put me on one of those patrols."

"Alright," he said with a soft purr, touching is muzzle to mine in goodbye. "I'll see you later then."

I nodded in reply. Wolfshade got to his paws and bounded off. I watched him go for a moment, but then I looked around camp, searching for Sharpclaw's dark ginger pelt. I spotted him by the stream, and I rose to my paws to walk over to him. But, I only took a few steps before Leafstar was padding up to me, waving her tail in hello.

"Do you have a moment, Lightningfire?" Leafstar meowed, inclining her head to have me step aside with her.

For a heartbeat I worried it was about the fox omen, and I tensed up, fearing for the worst. But, one look at Leafstar put my concerns at rest. She seemed a bit tired, but her expression was bright and happy.

I purred at her in reply, my ears already pricking with interest.

"Yeah, sure," I said turned to her.

We walked a little away from the other cats to a semi-private edge of camp.

"There is something I'd like to tell you. I'll be making an announcement to the whole Clan soon, but I wanted to make sure you and Nightstorm heard it first," Leafstar said.

My paws prickled at the restrained excitement in her tone. I twitched my tail, growing increasingly curious.

_It's obviously not about the dead fox, but what other secret has Leafstar been hiding? And, a good one at that? Did she get another omen?_

"What is it?" I meowed, tilting my head at her.

Leafstar lifted her chin, her eyes shining.

"I'm expecting kits!" Leafstar said.

I jolted in surprise, dumbfounded for a moment.

"You're—what—"

I blinked hard a couple of times as the words processed, then I started to purr, my tail shooting up in excitement.

"Really, Mom?! I'm going to have siblings?" I meowed, fidgeting on my paws.

"Yes," she purred, her eyes bright with delight.

"That's amazing!" I meowed.

I was no longer able to keep still, so I surged forward to rub my face against hers.

"I'm so excited! I can't believe it! Brackenstorm must be over the moon!"

"Yes, your father was very excited when I told him too," Leafstar purred. "He can't wait to have some tiny kits to play with again."

I purred louder.

"I bet! Did you tell him that he's going to have to stay in the nursery with them full time this round?" I joked. "I mean, it seems only fair."

Leafstar lightly flicked my flank with her tail.

"Keep your voice down," she purred. "If your father overhears you, he'll take you up on that offer, and then I'll never see my own kits again! Brackenstorm would trade patrolling around a forest with rolling around with kits in a heartbeat!"

I laughed, my heart feeling warm and full in my chest.

"Now, if only Brackenstorm could give birth to them this time..." Leafstar meowed drily, a wistful expression on her face. "That's a trade that I'd love to make."

My ears pricked in a question, but my purrs continued to rumble loudly in my chest.

"Speaking of which, when are you due?" I meowed.

"It'll be another moon or so before they are here," Leafstar said, curling her tail around her belly.

I touched my nose to Leafstar's.

"I'm so happy for you," I said, feeling my excitement settle down a bit, but none of my delight dim.

"Telling her the good news?" Echosong meowed.

My ears pricked and I turned to her. She was padding over to us from the ferns outside the medicine cat's den, her eyes shining knowingly.

"Yes," Leafstar meowed, raising her chin and her tail curling up. "Now, I just have to go tell Nightstorm."

Leafstar touched her nose to my ear in farewell. I purred as she turned and trotted off to find my brother. I was still for a moment as I watched her go. It felt nice to bask in the warmth of my mother's announcement for a few heartbeats longer.

_I'm going to have more siblings!_

A darker mood shadowed my joy as my thoughts flashed again towards the fox omen again. I chewed on the inside of my cheek worriedly. My paws fidgeted again, but this time in anxiety rather than excitement.

_What if something bad happens to my new siblings? It would destroy Leafstar._

"Hey, Lightningfire. Are you doing anything right now?" Echosong asked.

I jerked and blinked, bringing myself back and forcing those thoughts from my head.

"I was thinking that I might go hunting. But, I haven't gotten on a patrol yet. So, no, not really," I meowed, turning to the medicine cat. "Do you need something?"

"I twisted my paw gathering herbs at dawn," Echosong meowed, raising a dainty white forepaw. "Nothing serious, it's just a bit sore. But, I wanted to clean out my herb storage today and would appreciate some help if you're free."

I tilted my head, feeling a flash of intrigue. I'd never done any medicine cat's work before, and I was curious about what it was like, even if this did just sound like pushing old leaves around.

My brow furrowed for a heartbeat.

_This might also be a good time to bring up the fox omen to Echosong... Maybe if I tell her that I got a bad feeling from it too, she'd be more willing to tell me what she thinks it means._

"Sure," I meowed with a nod.

"Do you want another set of paws?" Whisper asked, padding over to us.

Echosong looked at the rogue with slight surprise. I felt a small stab of disappointment as I also turned to Whisper. I didn't mind spending time with the former rogue, but if she helped us, I wouldn't be able to speak to Echosong privately about the fox.

"I overheard," Whisper meowed, her rasping voice a bit shy. "And, I'd like to do something to help if I could. I'm trying to learn how to be a good clan-mate..."

"I'd be happy for the help," Echosong meowed cheerfully, her face becoming warm.

_Well there goes my chance about the omen._

I shook my head slightly. I could always try to talk to Echosong about the fox another time. Maybe now would be a good opportunity to instead get to know one of my new clan-mates.

I blinked at Whisper in a friendly way, and she returned the look warmly.

Whisper and I followed Echosong into the medicine cat's den, where Echosong led us to the back of the den. I peered at the cave wall with interest. I had never really paid much attention to Echosong's herb storage, but it was really quite impressive. There were rows and rows of herbs there, each sorted and stored in neat little piles within the cracks of the cave wall.

"So, what I need you to do is go through each herb pile and anything brown or withered like this should be thrown out," Echosong meowed, hooking a shriveled leaf with her claw from one of the nooks in the wall to show us. "You can put all the herbs that look bad in a pile on the floor, and I'll clear it out for you."

"Alright, got it," I meowed, while Whisper nodded in agreement.

"Just meow if you need anything!" Echosong said, padding back towards the front of the cave to sort some fresh herbs.

Whisper and I got to work. I found it easiest to pull out the entire pile of herbs, sort through the leaves and pull out the bad ones, before shoving the pile back into the nook it belonged to. Soon, the cave was full of herb dust and tons of different plant-scents: musty, sweet, floral, and bitter all at once. I sneezed several times from it.

Whisper and I worked in silence for a while, but while we sorted the herbs, curiosity started to gnaw at me more and more. I glanced over at the ginger she-cat out of the corner of my eye. She was going about her task with intense focus, her brow furrowed as she meticulously shifted through the leaves to find any bad ones. I watched her work for a moment with unabashed interest. Her fur was a pretty auburn red, and it had become more sleek and healthy since she'd been living with us. Besides her odd voice, she looked like a rather normal she-cat, and yet I knew so little about her. Only her name and her three friends. But, where did she come from? How did she end up in our forest?

I cleared my throat, breaking the silence. Whisper blinked, and her amber eyes flickered over to me. She tilted her head, regarding me curiously.

"Um, do you mind if I ask you something?" I meowed to her, my voice a bit shy.

Whisper blinked at me.

"No, what's up?" The rasp of her voice was almost familiar to me now.

I took a deep breath, still a little nervous.

"Where did you and your friends come from?" I said, blurting words out quickly.

Whisper glanced away from me. Her paws were still busily moving over the herbs, but the look of quiet concentration that had been on her face was now troubled. A shadow had entered into her amber eyes. I twitched my tail, suddenly guilty. I had wanted to know to satisfy my own curiosity, but I'd never really considered that maybe it was something that Whisper didn't want to talk about.

I opened my mouth to apologize, but before I could, Whisper finally began to speak.

"If you follow the river that flows through your camp far downstream, you will find a city," she meowed.

She paused with her herb sorting, gently lying her paws on the ground in front of her.

"A city?" I echoed, my brow furrowed at the unfamiliar word.

"Oh—Er— It's like a big two-leg's place," Whisper explained, glancing over at me before looking down at the ground.

Her ears flattened against her head, and my stomach swirled worryingly at the unsettled expression on her face.

"There is a group of cats there. _A lot_ of cats, more than even here," she rasped.

I titled my head, trying to understand.

"Another Clan?" I meowed, my tail twitching.

"No," Whisper rasped, with a soft growl. "I wouldn't call them a Clan. They are nothing like SkyClan. Well, there's a leader, but we call her the Queen. And, there are no rules besides what the Queen says. There are no laws that everyone has to follow like the Warrior Code."

Whisper's gaze drifted up from the ground. She stared at the herb wall and a faraway look entered her eyes.

"That's where we're from," Whisper continued. "There aren't a lot of trees. No beautiful forests, like the one here. No green, all grey. Most cats live on the streets or in the alleys. There is one nice place though: the Park."

I blinked hard.

_Streets. Alleys. Parks._

My head spun with all the unfamiliar words. Whisper glanced at me, and seemed to notice the glazed expression on my face.

"A park is like a small forest in the middle of a two-leg place," Whisper explained.

"Why would there be a small forest in the middle of a two-leg place?" I asked, tilting my head in confusion.

Whisper shrugged.

"I dunno. Two-legs like it I guess. They seem to like to walk through it sometimes," Whisper meowed.

I shook my head. Hardly anything about that made sense to me, but Whisper continued with her story, not heeding my bewilderment.

"The Queen lives in the Park, along with other high-ranking cats. If lower-ranking cats want to see the Queen because they need something from her, they have to come to the Park. They are also forced to go there every few sunrises to bring her a portion of their prey," Whisper said.

"They bring the… Queen prey?" I asked, my tongue stumbling over the strange word. "Why?"

Whisper shot me a long, hard look from the corner of her eye.

"She'd send her lieutenants after them if they didn't," Whisper answered coldly.

My brow furrowed. I didn't know what 'lieutenant' meant but still my fur prickled, and a chill raced down my spine at the icy way Whisper spat out the word.

"My mother was a high-ranking cat," Whisper continued, her eyes taking on that distant look again. "So we lived in the Park when I was a kit. Just after I was born, I used to cry a lot. Day and night apparently. Pretty soon the Queen got sick of it. She said that I'd attract the two-legs to us, and they'd chase us out of the Park, or capture us. The Queen sent one of her lieutenants to me... 'Cause the Queen doesn't like getting her own paws dirty. Says the blood takes too long to wash out."

Whisper's voice trailed off, and she stared down at her paws. A creeping sense of horror grew in my stomach, making me feel ill. Whisper's strange, mangled voice was suddenly starting to make sense. But, she was a kit! A cat wouldn't... They couldn't...

I stared at her with wide eyes.

"...What did they do?" I whispered finally as the silence stretched on.

My paws trembled in dread, but I had to know the answer. Whisper took a deep breath, then tilted her chin up and raised a paw to her neck. I leaned forward. Through a parting of her dark ginger fur, I saw a jagged, milky-white scar, slashed right across her throat. I pulled back, my pelt pricking with horror.

"My voice never healed right," Whisper rasped, lowering her chin again. "But, the Queen got what she wanted; I never cried again after that day. I couldn't."

I gazed at her in silent dismay, disgust about what was done to her and pity towards her situation battling for dominance in my chest. Whisper looked away from me like she couldn't make herself meet my gaze. She went back to pulling out the old herbs from the piles.

"At least I got my name out of it," Whisper said.

I shook my head slowly, my heart twisting in my chest.

"To a kit. A helpless kit," I whispered.

Whisper's gaze flickered back to mine, before giving a shrug and looking away again.

"That's what life's like there," she meowed.


	24. Crash

"Lightningfire! Lightningfire!"

I jerked awake from a deep sleep, my fur prickling at the urgency in the voice.

"Huh? What?"

I lifted my head, looking around at the warriors' den groggily as the pale, early dawn light streamed in. My gaze quickly found Whisper. She was standing in front of me with her ginger fur on end, and her eyes wide with distress.

"Lightningfire! Have you seen Crash?" Whisper rasped, kneading her paws anxiously into the ground.

My brow furrowed in confusion at the odd question.

"No," I said, rubbing sleep out of my eyes with my paw. "Why would I've seen him?"

I could see the whites around Whisper's eyes as she looked at me with deep worry.

"He's missing and I don't know where he is, and I thought that you'd be the one, if anyone, that he'd say anything to about where he went since you're the one that brought us here," Whisper gasped, the words all running together as they spilled out of her.

She was speaking so quickly, I almost had trouble making them out with her mangled voice.

"Wait, what? Crash's missing?" I said, sitting up in my nest.

Wolfshade raised his head beside me, and other warriors were stirring around us too, awakened by Whisper's hoarse shouts.

"When did this happen? What's going on, Whisper?" I meowed, my thoughts clearing as sleep was chased away.

Whisper's ears were flat against her head, her tail bristled out and lashing.

"Crash and I got into an argument yesterday. He stormed off into the forest. I let him go so he could cool down, but when I woke up this morning, he was still gone! His nest wasn't slept in. I'm worried that something really bad has happened to him!" Whisper meowed, gripping the ground under her tightly with her claws.

"Are you sure he's not just sleeping somewhere in the woods?" Wolfshade said, his voice low and reasonable.

"Crash and I have been best friends since we were kits," Whisper said, turning to Wolfshade. "We've gotten into arguments before, but we've _never_ been apart for this long. He's been gone a whole day! He'd have come back by now."

Whisper began to anxiously pace, her fur bristled out like a pinecone.

"Please. You've gotta help me look for him," she meowed.

My chest twinged in empathy for her.

"Don't worry, Whisper. We will," I meowed, getting to my paws.

"I'll help too," Wolfshade said, rising to his feet next to me.

"And, take Sparrowpelt and Egg," Sharpclaw meowed, raising his head from his nest in the back of the cave.

The cats he named rose to their paws with only a couple of grumbles.

"Thank you!" Whisper gasped to Sharpclaw, who nodded his head to her in reply.

Whisper turned back to me.

"Thank you," she muttered again.

I lay my tail over her shoulders, trying to soothe her.

"It's no problem. It's what clan-mates do," I said with a soft purr.

The group of us padded out of the den and bounded down the cliff into camp. Shiver and Tattered were already waiting there.

"...Crash?" Shiver asked as Whisper bounded up to her.

Whisper shook her head.

"No one's seen him, but we're going to go look," Whisper rasped.

Shiver and Tattered exchanged a look.

"We're coming too," Shiver said, raising her chin stubbornly.

I glanced at her, my gaze resting on the pink, sealing wound that marked the white fur on her shoulder.

"Is your shoulder healed enough to go out on patrol?" I asked her.

Shiver flexed her claws and turned her head to rasp her tongue down the new scar a few times.

"Yes. I'll be fine. I have to help find Crash," Shiver meowed. "He would do the same for me in a heartbeat."

"Okay then," I said with a nod.

I looked around at the patrol of cats, searching to see who would take charge, but I was startled to see that all the cats were looking to me for direction... even Sparrowpelt, who was a senior warrior. My brow furrowed and my stomach flipped nervously. I rasped my tongue down my chest self-consciously a few times, suddenly well aware that my pelt was still a ruffled mess from sleep. Apparently, I would be leading my first patrol today.

_...Well it kinda makes sense. I was the first to volunteer to help Whisper._

I raised my chin, trying to gather my scattered thoughts.

_What would Leafstar do?_

I turned to Whisper, and the dark ginger she-cat looked at me eagerly.

"Okay, Whisper," I meowed. "Which way did Crash leave camp? We'll see if we can pick up his scent trail from there."

Whisper nodded vigorously. She padded over to the river.

"This way," Whisper meowed, nodding downstream.

"Alright, let's go," I said, raising my tail.

Whisper led the way as we padded out of camp, heading down the gorge. As we walked I breathed in deeply, running the air over my tongue to try to tease out Crash's scent. But, the scents of all of my clan-mates from camp were too entwined together for me to pick out a specific one.

"Anything?" Whisper meowed, turning to look back at us, taking in everyones' look of concentration as we scented the air.

Everyone shook their heads, and Whisper's face fell.

"Don't worry," Wolfshade meowed, padding up to Whisper. "Lightningfire is one of the best trackers in the Clan. If Crash's scent is still here, she'll be able to pick it up."

Shiver, Tattered, and Whisper all looked at me with hopeful eyes. I swallowed, my stomach twisting at the amount of pressure I felt radiating from their gazes.

 _Thanks for the vote of confidence Wolfshade._ I thought with bitter humor. _But now if I can't catch the scent, it'll break their hearts._

I took several deep breathes, both to scent the air and to calm myself. I closed my eyes to block out visual distractions and focused solely on the scent.

But, there was nothing there. Well, that's incorrect, there was _too much_ there. There were all of my clan-mates, their scents blending together in a chaotic tangle, which could only be described as the scent of SkyClan. There was the sweet and musky scent of the trees. The clear and crisp scent of the river. A hint of nutty scent from a nearby squirrel...

_Come on, Lightningfire. Focus. You've got this._

I shook my ears, trying to clear my head. Then I breathed in the warm morning air again, letting it linger in my nose and my mouth.

"...I think I've got something!" I meowed, my eyes snapping back open as Crash's coarse and slightly acidic-tinged scent drifted into my nose.

The former rogues looked at me with excitement as I bounded forward, taking the lead as we exited the gorge and entered the forest. Crash's scent became clearer in my nose as we drew away from camp, and the scents around me became less muddied. The scent trail continued to follow the river downstream. Our patrol loped single file with me at its head. We traveled through the forest for a while, Crash's scent heading unwaveringly parallel to the river. I could tell the scent was from yesterday, just starting to go stale.

I looked over at Whisper from the corner of my eye. She looked more and more distraught the farther the distance from camp we traveled; her tail low and ears angled back. I slowed my pace to drop back by her side.

"Do you mind if I ask you something?" I meowed to her. "Why were you and Crash fighting last night?"

Whisper shot me a glance, and I turned to look away from her.

"I mean, you don't have to tell me," I added quickly. "If you don't want to, you know."

Whisper sighed heavily.

"No, it's fine," she said. "We were fighting because... well now that the fox that wounded Shiver is dead and her cut has healed, he wanted the four of us to head back out into the woods and start living on our own again. I told him that I like it here and don't want to leave. He didn't like that very much."

My pelt prickled. I couldn't help feeling a bit insulted that Crash wanted to abandon the Clan after we've fed and sheltered him for around a moon now.

"Why would Crash want to leave SkyClan?" I meowed, twitching my tail.

"It's nothing personal," Whisper said with her mangled purr as she took in the offended look on my face. "He just doesn't like big groups of cats. He doesn't trust them. They remind him too much of where we grew up."

"Oh," I said, blinking in understanding. "I mean, after what you told me... that makes sense."

Whisper's ears twisted back.

"I like you guys though. You're not like them," Whisper meowed softly, turning her gaze back forward to scan the undergrowth for any sign of Crash's black-and-white pelt.

Her brow furrowed with worry.

"Crash wouldn't have left without me, Shiver, and Tattered," Whisper meowed quietly, half to herself, shaking her head as we continued to walk farther and farther from camp. "He couldn't have. We're family. The four of us have always looked out for each other."

Unable to assuage her fears, I didn't reply.

We walked on through the forest in silence. Crash's scent continued to follow the river, and eventually, we reached the edge of our territory. Here the river steeply dipped into a waterfall, tumbling through the air for several fox-lengths before crashing back to the ground. I stopped at our scent markers at the top of the waterfall, my gaze searching the unfamiliar forest ahead.

Crash's scent continued on over the border.

My patrol grouped around me at the border. Whisper's ears were flat against her head as she gazed out into the forest. Shiver pressed herself comfortingly against her side, and the ginger she-cat leaned gratefully into the touch. I glanced at Whisper, feeling pity twist at my heart for her.

"We can go on a bit farther," I meowed.

I glanced back at Sparrowpelt to see if that'd be okay. The senior warrior hesitated for a moment, before giving a nod of permission. I turned forward again, and our group slowly picked our way down the small cliff.

"We must be careful," Wolfshade murmured to me. "Who knows what kind of rogues, foxes, or badgers lie ahead."

I shivered slightly at the warning in his words.

"I know," I replied, briefly pressing my muzzle to his cheek.

The sun was high in the sky as we padded into the unfamiliar forest. My ears were pricked and every hair on my pelt vibrated with alertness as we traveled on, my paws crunching on the leaf-litter. These were the first paw-steps of my life outside of SkyClan territory.

What a strange thought.

I gazed up at the unfamiliar branches waving above my head, and the trees stretching around me in all directions. I remembered the forests and the fields that I could see in the distance from Skyrock, even the faint cropping of mountains far beyond the two-leg place where Ebonyclaw, Harveymoon, and Macgyver live.

_The world must be so large._

As we continued to travel, the sun started to fall from sun-high, showing that we've been gone more that half a day. We were still following the scent trail by the river, and there was still no sign of Crash. My tail began to droop in defeat.

_He has a whole day on us. We can't catch him. He wanted to leave, and now it looks like he's gone._

I sighed, resignation dragging at my paws as I came to a stop. I turned to look back at my patrol, opening my jaws to suggest that we return to SkyClan territory.

But, before I could speak, the heavy, salty scent of blood nipped at my tongue, carried over to me on the breeze.

"Oh no," I whispered, the fur on my shoulders rising in fear.

"Blood," Wolfshade confirmed quietly, walking up to my side to stare down the scent trail ahead.

Whisper took off at a sprint, tearing down the bank of the river.

"Be careful!" I yowled after her.

"Let's go," Wolfshade said, his brow furrowed.

We bounded after her with the rest of our patrol in pursuit. We ran down the river bank, the hot scent of blood growing stronger and stronger, until it was so powerful it coated my lungs and throat and made me want to gag in revulsion.

I saw the large lump of black-and-white fur washed on the stone bank of the river. Whisper made a bee-line for him, her paws scrambling on the loose stones, and a wail growing in her throat. Crash's hind-legs were in the river, swaying gently in the current. His front half was on the bank, and his torso was drenched in a pool of his scarlet blood. My stomach rolled.

Whisper gave another heart-wrenching, strangled cry as she nosed his side. I slowed as I padded up to them, my ears flattened against my head. Crash's eyes were wide, but they stared up at nothing. His throat was torn open so viciously I could see the gleam of the white bones in his neck. More gashes covered his sides and belly, those wounds just as deep as the one on his throat.

Whisper was hunched over the body, staring blankly down at Crash. I tore my gaze from the gruesome scene to gently touch my nose to Whisper's shoulder. Even though my stomach still twisted in terror and horror, I tried to comfort her with the touch.

"His fur is so cold," she rasped, her sides shaking violently.

"What could've done this to him?" Egg meowed, his eyes wide with absolute horror at the state of Crash's body.

Shiver and Tattered came to Whisper's side, and I moved away from her to give them space. The two cats pressed themselves on either side of her.

"It must have been a fox or a badger. Maybe a dog," Sparrowpelt meowed quietly as to not disturb Whisper, Shiver or Tattered.

I watched the three former rogues, their faces awash with grief as they sat by their dead friend's side.

"We've never been apart, since the day we met when we were just kits," Whisper rasped, her voice cracking.

She bowed her head, screwing her eyes shut.

"And, now he's gone," she whispered. "I'll never be with him again. And, I wasn't there for him when he needed me... I let him die alone and afraid."

She crumpled over, burying her face into his side.

"I'm—so—sorry—Crash," Whisper meowed into his fur, her words so garbled that they were barely understandable, and her sides shook so hard that she had to gasp for breath.

"It's not your fault," Tattered murmured to her. "Crash was the one that wandered out here, alone. You did nothing wrong."

Whisper didn't respond, still hunched over in pain. I watched her in silence for a moment, my heart twisting for her.

"Well, Crash is safe now," I murmured quietly to Whisper, trying to comfort her. "He's in StarClan, and you'll see him again one day."

"But, he wasn't a Clan cat," Whisper meowed, raising her head to look up at me.

"He was a loyal friend to you all, and he had a good heart." I meowed slowly. "I'm sure StarClan would…"

"If he was such a good friend why did he leave us," Tattered growled suddenly.

 _"Tattered,"_ Shiver hissed, giving him a glare then casting a pointed look at Whisper.

Tattered clenched his jaw and glared back at Shiver, but then he dipped his head to press his scarred muzzle to Whisper's cheek.

"Sorry, Whisper," he meowed. "I didn't mean it like that. I know Crash loved you very much. He made a stupid mistake coming out here, but he would've followed you to the ends of the earth if that's what you would've wanted."

"And, I know he would have come back to us," Shiver meowed, then cast a sad glance down at Crash. "If something hadn't stopped him first."

"We can take his body back to camp to hold vigil for him," Sparrowpelt suggested.

Whisper shook her head suddenly.

"No. Let's just bury him here," Whisper meowed, digging her paws into the stoney river bank.

She turned to glance over at the patrol.

"It wouldn't matter to him if he was buried here or in SkyClan territory," she said, shaking her head. "There's no point in dragging his body all the way back."

"Alright... Whatever you want," I meowed quietly.

We spent the next little while digging a hole at the edge of the forest, overlooking the river. Once it was done, Whisper, Shiver, and Tattered carried Crash's body to the grave. We filled it in with dirt, and Tattered dragged over a big grey stone from the bank of the river to mark it.

Whisper sat by the grave as the sun dropped lower in the horizon. Sparrowpelt sent us out to hunt while we waited for her to grieve, but instructed us to stay close in case whatever killed Crash was still lingering in the area. Wolfshade and I went off into the unfamiliar forest together, being careful not to stray too far from the river.

"It's terrible what happened to Crash," I meowed softly as we tracked down the scent of mouse.

"I know," Wolfshade replied, his whiskers drooping. "Poor Whisper."

"Do you think they were mates?" I meowed.

Wolfshade glanced at me, then looked away.

"I don't know," he said.

We caught two mice, which we brought back to the river bank. Sparrowpelt, Egg, Shiver, and Tattered returned with their own prey, and we ate together in silence. Shiver tried to bring Whisper half of a squirrel, but she sent Shiver away, saying she wasn't hungry.

I settled down after I finished my mouse to groom my fur. Wolfshade sat next to me, and I leaned over against his grey side. I breathed deeply, his sharp scent comforting as it washed over me.

Finally, Whisper slowly rose to her paws. Her amber eyes were dull and her tail held low, as she padded over to the rest of us. She cast a final glance at Crash's grave, before turning to me.

"Let's go back home," Whisper rasped.


	25. The Secret

My paws pricked with anxiety as I was waited impatiently at the base of the cliff with Nightstorm and Brackenstorm. Brackenstorm was on his paws and pacing back and forth along the bottom of the cliff, his white and ginger fur bristling slightly. Nightstorm sat with the entrance to the nursery several fox-lengths directly above him, looking composed but alert. I was on my feet, tail tip twitching, flexing my claws in and out of the sand.

"How are you doing?" Wolfshade meowed.

I jumped slightly at his mew, snapped out of my thoughts. I forced my kneading claws to sheathe, and I turned my head to glance at Wolfshade as he padded up to me. He bumped his head against mine in greeting, and I gave a brief purr.

"I _hate_ waiting," I replied to him when he pulled his head back. "And... I'm a bit nervous."

Wolfshade tilted his head at me, his gaze empathetic.

"Echosong will be taking good care of them. I'm sure they're all fine," Wolfshade meowed.

I glanced up towards the nursery entrance. I sighed and nodded, trying to see the sense in his words and not let myself get too swept up in my own worries.

Once I relaxed a bit, I flicked my eyes back to Wolfshade, and I noticed him gazing at me. His eyes seemed to glow with a soft green light, making my stomach flip. I almost felt like I was going to melt from their intensity.

"What?" Wolfshade meowed.

"What?" I echoed, my eyes widening.

"You had a funny look on your face," he said, his whiskers twitching with faint humor.

"Oh? Uh, I did?" I meowed, feeling my fur grow hot.

Wolfshade arched a brow at me, his expression becoming one of smug amusement.

"Er—Um. Yeah, it was nothing," I stammered, forcing the words out quickly.

"Really?" Wolfshade purred, tail-tip twitching playfully.

I shot him a look with a narrowed gaze in punishment for his teasing, but that only made him purr louder and my ears heat more. I bent my head to give my chest a few swift licks, trying in vain to cover my embarrassment.

When I looked back up, Wolfshade was still watching me intently. His grey-green eyes flickered, flashing all over my pelt as he studied me. The intensity of his gaze was tempered by soft fondness, like a sunrise on a foggy morning.

"…What?" I asked, a fluttering feeling in my chest.

Now it was Wolfshade's turn to blink and recoil slightly in embarrassment.

"I'm… It…" he said, brow furrowing with uncertainty as he closed his mouth.

 _"'It was nothing?'"_ I suggested, a teasing purr building in my throat.

A purr started to rumble in Wolfshade's chest in response. He blinked slowly at me, his face gentle.

"Yeah. Exactly," he meowed.

"Well I'm glad we are equally disinterested in each other," I said drily.

Wolfshade purred louder.

"Precisely," he said in a deep, serious rumble, but flattening one ear in a lighthearted look.

He rose to his paws.

"Speaking of, I've got to head out on a patrol," he meowed, flicking his tail on my side in goodbye. "See you later, Lightningfire."

"Bye!" I said to his back as he trotted off.

A warm feeling in my chest, I turned away, gazing at the cliff without actually looking at anything. When my vision slowly came back into focus, I noticed that Nightstorm was looking at me with a smirk.

"Oh, put a mouse in it," I muttered to him, my fur prickling with heat again.

"I didn't say anything," Nightstorm said with a snort, rolling his eyes.

"Hello!" a voice called from above our heads.

Echosong's silver-striped head poked out of the entrance of the nursery and peered down at us.

"You three can come up now," she purred, before withdrawing back into the nursery.

A rush of excitement and apprehension surged through my chest. Brackenstorm was already dashing up the cliffside trail, green eyes sparkling before Echosong even finished talking. Nightstorm cast me a look; his eyes were brightened by excitement, the teasing look gone.

"Come on!" he meowed, jumping to his paws and following our father up the trail.

I leapt forward, right on his tail. My heart thumped with excitement as we climbed quickly up to the den. We slowed as we made it to the entrance to the nursery and slipped quietly inside, not wanting to disturb anyone. My paws tingled as I followed Nightstorm into the den, blinking and waiting for my eyes to adjust to the darkness.

"Hello," Leafstar purred from the back of the cave.

Brackenstorm was already sitting by her head, his head held high with pride as Nightstorm and I approached. I looked at my mother's face carefully. Leafstar seemed tired, understandably so, but in good spirits.

"How are you?" Nightstorm said in his deep mew to our mother, sounding oddly formal.

"And, how are the kits?" I interjected quickly. "Are they doing alright?"

"I'm doing well, Nightstorm," Leafstar replied, looking at the two of us gently as if we were still tiny kits ourselves. "And, they are too. Come here, meet your new siblings."

I couldn't stop myself from dashing ahead of Nightstorm, running past Cherrytail and her kits, to close the last few tail-lengths between me and Leafstar's nest. My paws trembled in anticipation as I peered over to see two tiny kits at Leafstar's belly. There was a dilute tortoiseshell she-cat, her fluffy fur a swirling blend of grey and orange-cream, and a fluffy tom with light brown tabby fur and a white belly and muzzle.

"Aw, they're so cute, Mom!" I gasped, looking down at them. "I can't believe it!"

Leafstar purred, and Brackenstorm nuzzled her face. I brushed my cheek against Leafstar's and she happily leaned into the touch, purring louder.

"The little tom looks just like a long-furred version of you," I said with a purr to Leafstar, glancing down at my new siblings fondly.

"We're thinking of names for them," she meowed. "Do you or Nightstorm have any suggestions?"

I tilted my head thoughtfully.

"Hm, have you come up with any good options yet?" I meowed.

"Well I like Rosekit for her," Brackenstorm meowed, nosing the little dilute tortoiseshell she-cat. "Isn't she precious?"

Brackenstorm purred as he nuzzled her, but my little sister let out a fierce squeak, squirming away from him, and causing Brackenstorm yank his head up in alarm. Leafstar, Nightstorm and I burst into purrs of amusement, and Brackenstorm joined us after he shook off his surprise.

"I think Rosekit works well. It sure looks like she has thorns," Nightstorm said with a purr, his dark tail twitching with mischief.

"I agree," I said, once I caught my breath from laughing.

"Rosekit it is then," Leafstar said, bending her head to rasp her tongue on the newly named Rosekit's head.

"And, what about him?" I asked, my gaze flicking to my little brother.

"We're a bit stuck on him," Leafstar meowed, her tail twitching slightly. "I like Twigkit for his light brown fur."

"I am not naming my son 'Twig!'" Brackenstorm protested, furrowing his brow in mock anger at Leafstar.

"This is coming from a cat who used to be named _Billy_ storm," Leafstar teased, flicking her tail at him.

Brackenstorm gazed at Leafstar with shining green eyes.

"Hey! Billy is a very respectable name by two-leg standards," he playfully defended himself.

"Well, I suppose I fell in love with you despite your ridiculous name, so I guess _Billy_ can't be all that bad," Leafstar purred, looking at him with equal fondness.

"Still, _Twig_ is awful," Brackenstorm said, bumping Leafstar's head gently with his own. "I love you, but it's awful."

As my parents teased each other, I was still preoccupied with names, gazing at my little brother. I blinked as an image of a cute songbird popped into my mind.

"How about something like Wrenkit?" I meowed, glancing up at Leafstar and Brackenstorm. "His brown and white fur look just like a wren's brown and white feathers."

Brackenstorm's ears pricked.

"I like it," he purred.

"Me too," Leafstar said, a purr rumbling in her chest as well. "Wrenkit and Rosekit. Perfect."

Echosong ushered Nightstorm and I away from Leafstar not long after we decided on the kits' names, saying that Leafstar and our siblings needed to rest. I didn't mind the swift dismissal. My heart still felt warm and full after seeing my siblings and talking with Wolfshade earlier.

I stopped by Cherrytail's nest before exiting the den, purring a greeting to her and her kits.

"Hi Lightningfire!" Owlkit chirped, stumbling out of the nest and over to me. 

Adderkit followed her over, while Ripplekit stuck close to Cherrytail's side, his gaze timid.

"Are you going to practice battle training with us?" Adderkit asked with a high-pitched growl, showing a flash of tiny fangs.

"Yeah!" Owlkit mewed, bouncing around my legs.

I purred indulgently, my heart warming in affection.

"Lightningfire can't right now," Cherrytail said to her kits, answering for me. "Remember? We have to stay quiet in the den so we don't disturb Leafstar or the new kits."

"Another time," I promised.

"Can we play with the new kits?" Owlkit mewed, tilting her head to the side curiously as she gazed towards Leafstar's nest in the back of the cave.

"They're much too small and fragile for that right now," I said.

"We're not the smallest cats anymore," Adderkit said, puffing out his chest. "Did you know I'm going to be as big as Sharpclaw one day?"

"No! I will!" Owlkit yowled, pouncing at Adderkit.

Adderkit growled and began to wrestle with his sister, but Cherrytail interrupted their scuffle with a sweep of her tail, pulling all of her kits to her.

"Hush," she meowed in a soft, but firm voice. "You all are being much too loud! Leafstar and the new kits are resting remember? And, it's time for you all to take a nap too."

"But, I'm not tired!" Owlkit whined, blinking huge yellow eyes up at her mother indignantly.

Cherrytail sighed in exasperation.

"I better get going," I purred to her and the kits. "I'll see you all later."

"Tell Lightningfire goodbye," Cherrytail meowed. "And, then we're all going to sleep."

"Goodbye!" the kits chorused.

I turned and padded towards the den's exit.

"But, I'm not sleepy!" Owlkit peeped up again from behind me.

I purred as Cherrytail shushed her again.

I bounded down the cliff, happily entering into the camp. I lifted my chin, feeling like I had the world at my paws when I spotted Whisper walking across camp. My mood suddenly dimmed as I saw her drooped tail and dragging paws. My heart tightened in sympathy for her.

"Whisper, hey," I meowed, padding up to the ginger cat and greeting her by gently touching my muzzle to her shoulder. "How are you doing?"

"It's been hard. But, I'm trying to hang in there," she meowed, giving a sad blink.

She shook her head like she didn't want to say anymore.

"Leafstar was going to give birth today, right? Did you see your siblings?" she meowed, changing the subject abruptly.

"Yes. I just did," I purred, my eyes shining softly as my happiness came back to me. "Their names are Wrenkit and Rosekit, and they are so cute."

"I'm happy for you and your family," she said with a soft purr in reply.

I couldn't help but feel a flash of guilt that I was so happy, when she was still clearly grieving Crash's death. Whisper nodded in goodbye and started to turn away from me, but then she hesitated, turning back.

"Lightningfire, can I tell you something?" she meowed quietly, not quite meeting my eyes.

My ears twisted back, and a small amount of uncertainty appeared in my chest at the strange, serious tone of her voice.

"Sure," I meowed, my brow furrowing. "What is it?"

"Will you promise not to tell anyone?" Whisper meowed, her gaze meeting mine to search my eyes.

My pelt prickled. The uncertainty grew into full-blown foreboding.

_Why does it have to be a secret? Did Whisper do something? What does she know?_

I blinked, trying to pull myself out of my thoughts.

"I—I guess," I meowed slowly, my tail twitching.

Whisper took a deep breath, and I felt my muscles tense up in anticipation.

"I think Crash might have been killed by a cat," she whispered. "A cat from our old two-leg place."

The fur down my spine rose, and I jerked back in disbelief.

"What?" I meowed, my eyes widening. "What do you mean? But- but those wounds were terrible! You think a cat could have done that?!"

Whisper was silent, her gaze steadily locked with mine.

"We're talking about cats that slashed my throat when I was only a kit younger than a moon old," she meowed. "You have no idea how limitless their cruelty is."

My ears flattened against my head, and I felt a bit sick to my stomach.

"But, isn't SkyClan territory pretty far from this two-leg place?" I argued weakly. "What makes you think it was them?"

I dug my claws into the ground. I wasn't sure if I was trying to argue with Whisper or with myself. I certainly didn't want to believe that what she was saying could be true.

"Well, yes it is," Whisper admitted. "But, I wouldn't put it beyond them to try to find us. Cats aren't really supposed to just leave the city like we did... And, when I moved Crash's body to his grave, I found brown fur between his claws."

"Cat fur?" I meowed quietly, my pelt bristling. "Why didn't you say anything then?"

"I was in a state of shock," Whisper said, her fur rising defensively. "And... I couldn't smell any scent on it. Cat or otherwise. I think the water washed it all away, but foxes and badgers don't have brown fur."

"Dogs do," I pointed out, my tail twitching.

"Alright, you have a point," Whisper said, giving her tail a lash and sighing. "I'm just worried."

"Have you asked Shiver or Tattered about it? What do they think?" I meowed, tilting my head at her.

"No! They can't know!" Whisper said, whirling on me, her bushy ginger fur bristling. "That's why I asked you not to tell anyone. You can't tell anyone, _especially_ them. If they knew, they'd be terrified. They'd want to run, regardless of if Crash was actually killed by a cat from the city or not. And, then we'd have to leave SkyClan."

"Okay... Let's speak to Leafstar then," I meowed, angling my ears towards the nursery.

"Your mother just had kits. I can't bother her about this right now," Whisper meowed, shaking her head.

"No, she wouldn't mind," I insisted. "She'd want to help."

Whisper scuffled her paws in the sand, staring down at her feet.

"Are you sure of that?" she meowed quietly.

"What?" I meowed, my brow furrowing. "Of course."

"You don't think she would kick me and Shiver and Tattered out?" Whisper asked in a voice barely above a breath.

"Why would you think that?" I meowed, shaking my head, my ears flat.

"We came from a place with a bunch of very dangerous cats, that might have killed Crash and in doing so, wandered pretty close to SkyClan territory," Whisper said, her gaze raising back up to mine. "Leafstar has a whole Clan to look after, and she just had kits on top of that. Doesn't even a tiny part of you think that she might see us as a liability? And, that she'd want us gone because of it?"

I froze, my fur prickling.

"Most of your clan-mates have been very welcoming, but we haven't been here that long, and even the most welcoming cats still don't see me, Shiver, and Tattered as parts of SkyClan. We're still rogues in their eyes. And, I can tell that they're just waiting for the day that we run off, like Crash did…" Whisper's voice trailed off for a heartbeat before she continued. "Even your brother, Nightstorm, has always been cold to us. If the Clan found out that we posed any sort of threat, I think we'd be thrown out."

"No. I want you to be here," I said, shaking my head.

"I know you do. You've been nothing but kind since we met. That's why I trusted you enough to tell you this," Whisper said, her gaze searching mine. "But, does Leafstar? Maybe she does now, but if she thought we were a threat?"

"...My mother wouldn't do that to you," I meowed, but a shadow of doubt crept into my heart. "But- but- do you think that the two-leg place cats could be a threat?"

Whisper's eyes flashed as she picked up the hesitation in my voice.

"That is, assuming that they did kill Crash, which is a big _'if,'"_ I qualified. "Would they be a threat to SkyClan?"

Whisper paused for a moment before shaking her head.

"They have no idea what SkyClan is or where it is," she meowed. "If they want anyone, it'd be us. Shiver, Tattered, and I."

I gnawed on the inside of my cheek worriedly, my stomach rolling.

Would Leafstar really send the three of them away to advert this possible threat? And, if the two-leg place cats showed up and demanded the three of them or else they'd attack SkyClan, would Leafstar give them away to spare the rest of the Clan? Would I do that if I was in Leafstar's position?

I shook my head.

_No... I couldn't do that to Whisper and her friends... it's not their fault that the city cats are terrible._

_But, still..._

"Is there _any chance at all_ that these cats from the big two-leg place will find our camp?" I asked, kneading my claws warily. "I want you guys to stay, you know that. But, if they could be coming, we would have to be able to prepare. I have to keep our Clan safe. And, in that case, we'd have to tell Leafstar."

"I don't think so," Whisper rasped, her brow furrowed. "I think if they came across SkyClan's scent-marked borders, they'd just turn around. They have no quarrel with SkyClan, and the Queen was content to stay within the depths of the two-leg place when I was there. Besides killing my friends and I in revenge for deserting, I can think of no motivation for them to stray so far from their territory."

I nodded slowly, my brow furrowed and tail twitching.

"I trust you, Lightningfire," Whisper meowed. "So, if you think we should tell Leafstar, I will."

"I…" I meowed, blinking hard. "…I don't know…I don't _want_ to believe that Leafstar would make you leave if we told her... but..."

I sighed, looking down at my paws. My stomach was swirling nauseatingly, like the world was spinning around me.

"I can't be sure," I confessed.

"I know," Whisper meowed, making glance over at her. "But, even if she did make me leave, that wouldn't mean that she was a bad cat. She'd just be trying to protect you, and your family, the cats she cares about the most."

I nodded and turned my gaze back to the ground as I stood in silence for a few moments.

_What do I do? Whisper and her friends are good cats, and I don't want to have to force them to leave. But, can I keep something like this from my friends? From Wolfshade? From Leafstar and the Clan? Would that be breaking the Warrior Code? Would Leafstar even make them leave, or would she want to help?_

My tail twitched, and I dug my claws into the ground, indecision and frustration gnawing at me.

_I sort of wish Whisper never told me anything._

"Well?" Whisper meowed, glancing over at me.

I kneaded my claws in indecision.

_And, what if Whisper is completely wrong? There was no other cat scent, no paw-prints. What if it was a dog all along, and these two-leg place cats have nothing to do with Crash's death? Then this is a harmless secret. Nothing anyone has to know about, since it didn't even actually happen._

I made a snap decision.

"Alright. I won't tell your secret," I said.

Whisper looked at me with relief.

"Thank you, Lightningfire," she meowed, and I nodded, although I still felt a prickle of guilt.

"I'll see you around," I said and padded off, the fur down my back still prickling with discontent.

I meandered towards the fresh-kill pile, but my eyes were unfocused as if I was wandering around in a worried daze.

"Hey, Lightningfire!" Wolfshade's voice called, and I blinked in surprise, turning to him.

"Oh, hey!" I meowed happily as he came bounding up to me. "Back from your hunt?"

"Yeah," he said, giving his head a brief shake. "But, don't ask about me! How's Leafstar? And, your new siblings?"

I puffed out my chest, pushing aside my worry about Whisper.

"Great! There's two- Wrenkit and Rosekit!" I said.

Wolfshade purred at me, his green eyes shining.

"That's great!" he said, nudging my shoulder with his muzzle. "You must be really excited."

"Yeah!" I said, trying to muster the excitement I had felt earlier back up.

Wolfshade tilted his head at me, a bit of concern flashing over his face. He must have noticed some of my forced enthusiasm.

"Are you alright?" he meowed. "There's not anything wrong with Leafstar or the kits, is there?"

I shook my head hard, my tail tip twitching.

"No. No, nothing like that," I meowed quickly, feeling my belly clench.

His brow furrowed, and he still studied me closely.

"I saw you talking to Whisper a few moments ago, was that anything important?" Wolfshade asked.

I jumped slightly at the question. I hadn't realized that he had seen us!

I saw Wolfshade's eyes narrow a fraction as he noticed the movement.

_Great job me, way to look incredibly suspicious! Mouse-brain!_

"Er—nothing," I meowed quickly, hoping to cover the jump. "Whisper was just telling me something. It wasn't anything important."

Wolfshade was quiet, searching my face with his gaze. I felt my stomach twist, but I wasn't sure if it was from guilt about lying to him or worry that he would see through my words to the truth.

_Is he suspicious? Should I just tell him? What would he do if he knew? Would he be mad at me for promising Whisper to keep it a secret?_

_What if he thinks we should tell the Clan? Would he do that, even if I asked him not to?_

A million thoughts whipped around in my head, and a dizzy feeling appeared behind my eyes.

"…Okay," Wolfshade meowed finally.

I tightened my jaw to stop myself from sighing with relief.

"But, you would tell me if it was something important, right?" Wolfshade continued, locking his gaze with mine.

"Yeah," I meowed.

A feeling of guilt pierced a hot claw into my chest as I gave a nod and blinked up at him.

"Of course."


	26. Insecurity

After I promised Whisper that I would keep her secret, guilt and worry gnawed at me like a dog with a bone everyday for more than a half-moon. I just wished that I was able to know for sure that I was doing the right thing... But, no matter how many times I looked up at the night sky and asked Silverpelt, StarClan never answered.

I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts. It was an overcast day today, like the weather was mirroring my gloomy mood. I padded up to Wolfshade in camp, hoping that he could be a welcome distraction from my thoughts.

"Hey," I said with a purr.

He pricked his ears at me, giving a brief purr in response as a greeting, but his gaze seemed distracted.

"I'm glad I bumped into you," I meowed. "Want to join me on a hunt? We haven't had the chance to go out together in ages."

Wolfshade's whiskers twitched regretfully.

"Sorry, but I'm supposed to be leaving for a border patrol soon," he said.

My ears twisted backwards unhappily.

"Could you get someone to switch spots with you?" I meowed hopefully.

Wolfshade shrugged, his expression slightly uncomfortable.

"You know how Sharpclaw is... I don't want to get on his bad side," he meowed, avoiding my eye as he glanced to the ground.

"Okay," I said, trying to not let my disappointment show in my voice. "Some other time then?"

"Yeah," he meowed, padding away from me.

I watched him go with some distress swirling in my belly. It felt like he was ignoring me.

_Don't be silly, he's just busy... right?_

Insecurity ran up and down my pelt, whispering dark thoughts in my ears. I shook my head, trying to snap myself out of it. I spotted Briarspot across camp and padded over to her. She was grooming herself by Rockpile, but she glanced up over at me as I walked up to her and flopped on the ground next to her with a dramatic sigh. She gave me a look that was half amused and half concerned.

"Who put crowfood in your fresh-kill today?" she meowed.

"Well I just asked if Wolfshade would go hunting with me, but he said he'd been assigned a border patrol already," I sighed again, lying on my side and staring despondently out into camp.

I could feel Briarspot's eyes on my pelt as she stared at me.

"...And?" she prompted.

"I feel like he's avoiding me," I complained, twisting my head around so I could look at her.

She arched a brow at me.

"Have you considered that that might be a little crazy?" she said with a gentle purr. "Sharpclaw makes us all do things all of the time."

I heaved another sigh.

"It's not that he had to go on patrol," I defended myself. "It was how he said it. And, then just walked off without saying goodbye or anything."

Briarspot settled into a crouch next to me, her expression thoughtful.

"Maybe you should ask him about it when he comes back," she said.

I twitched my tail.

"But, won't that make me seem really needy? Or, insecure?" I meowed, peering up at her.

She purred.

"But, you are being really insecure right now," she teased gently.

"I _know,"_ I groaned. "And, I hate it."

Briarspot purred, lightly flicking her tail on my flank.

"It could also just be nothing though," she said. "Maybe he has a bellyache and is just being grumpy from that."

I tilted my head back to gaze up at the uniformly grey sky.

"I don't know... he wasn't grumpy exactly, more like... distant," I meowed.

I closed my eyes for a moment, guilt about the secret and worry about Wolfshade and everything swirling together all at once.

"Maybe he doesn't like me anymore," I muttered.

"Okay, _now_ you sound really insecure," Briarspot said with a snort.

I opened my eyes to shoot her a look.

"Not helping," I said pointedly.

Briarspot rolled her eyes, but she purred.

"Look, Lightningfire, he's more obsessed with you than I've ever seen him with any other cat," she said. "So, I don't think that he stopped liking you. But, if he did. Which is a really big _'IF.'_ It'd be his loss you know? You're awesome."

"Thanks Briarspot," I murmured. "I hope so."

* * *

Later in the evening, I had come back from a solo hunt, and I was lounging down in camp, half-heartedly picking at the mouse by my paws while I was watching Whisper across camp. She was talking with Shiver, Tattered, Lionclaw, and Briarspot. The rogues seemed to be settling into Clan life better and better with each passing day. I was glad for them, but I was also worried, for both them and for SkyClan. Every border patrol I went on, I was hyper aware for any stranger cat scents around... just in case it was the city cats. As I stared at Whisper, I found myself getting more and more absorbed in my own thoughts.

"Hey."

I started at the sudden voice.

"It's just me," Wolfshade purred, gazing at me with mild amusement as I glanced over at him.

I blinked, happy to see him back from his patrol.

"Sorry," I muttered with an embarrassed head shake. "I was lost in my thoughts."

I glanced away from him. Would this be a good time to talk to him about earlier like Briarspot suggested?

"I noticed," he said, sitting beside me. "Are you alright? You look stressed, and you barely touched that mouse."

He nodded at the fresh-kill at my paws.

I nodded in response to his question, guilt pricking at me since I knew I was lying to him.

"I'm fine, just- er- uh," I stuttered, trying to find a good excuse. "Thinking about things..."

Wolfshade looked at me, his expression a mix of curiosity and concern.

"You know can tell me if something's troubling you, right?" he meowed.

I sighed.

"Yeah," was all I said.

"Is it something about Whisper?" Wolfshade pressed, nestling closer to my side, but I just tensed up at the mention of Whisper's name. "I've noticed that you've seemed... on edge? About her ever since Crash died."

"It's not that. It's nothing," I meowed quickly.

Wolfshade blinked.

"Alright." He pulled back away from me a bit.

Wolfshade glanced away from me, scuffling his paws on the ground. I sighed quietly. He knew something was up with me, and I had made him feel bad. Now how was I supposed to ask about earlier when I was the one being weird and distant? I stared down at my paws.

Maybe it was best if I just didn't say anything. Then we could just forget about both of these conversations and move on.

"Wrenkit and Rosekit began to stumble around today," I meowed, abruptly changing the subject. "They're really uncoordinated though, so they keep bumping into things. Leafstar is terrified that Rosekit is going to stumbling right out of the nursery and down the cliff though. Apparently, she's much too curious for her own good!"

Wolfshade purred, and I felt some of the tension between us ease.

"Hopefully she's smart enough not to stumble off the cliff," he said in a joking voice.

"I hope so," I agreed.

We both purred, and as we continued chatting about my little siblings, I was happy things seemed normal between us again.

But, in the back of my mind, I couldn't shake this nagging feeling that nothing was resolved... just glossed over, and this wouldn't be the last time we'd visit this conversation.


	27. The Sunset

"Watch out!"

Wrenkit took a flying leap at my head from a rock at the base of Rockpile. I ducked his pounce, and he sailed harmlessly over my ears.

"Oomph!"

He tumbled through the orange sand for a moment before getting up and shaking out his fur. An instant later, he was tackled from behind by Rosekit. The kits rolled over the ground, getting orange sand in their pelts again. Wrenkit kicked Rosekit off and stumbled back to his feet.

"You have to watch your back when you fight, Wrenkit," I meowed to him, giving a purr of amusement at the look of irritation on his face as he shook the sand out of his fur again.

"Sneak attacks aren't fair, Rosekit!" Wrenkit mewed, turning to Rosekit. "Only rats attack from behind!"

"I'm not a rat!" Rosekit squeaked with a huff.

She shook out her fluffy grey and cream fur.

"I'm being a ShadowClan warrior! We _like_ to sneak in the shadows!" she mewed.

"You're SkyClan! Not ShadowClan! ShadowClan is back in the old forest, mouse-brain!" Wrenkit argued, shooting me a glance that said _Can you believe her?!_

I purred loudly, watching my little siblings argue with affectionate eyes.

_It's hard to believe they're already two moons old!_

They still seemed so tiny though. They had such small ears and paws, but huge eyes, both green. Although, Wrenkit's eyes were a light grass-green color, while Rosekit's eyes were dark like pine needles.

"Hey, how's the kit watching going?" Wolfshade meowed, walking over to me and touching his muzzle to mine in greeting.

I purred at the sight of him.

"Good," I said. "I'm-- _Ow!"_

I winced, turning to pull my tail out of Rosekit's mouth which was filled with tiny, needle-like teeth.

"Don't bite so hard!" I meowed.

Rosekit happily skipped off, unbothered by my scolding. I rolled my eyes.

"Too bad Cherrytail is too busy watching Owlkit, Ripplekit and Adderkit to also keep track of your siblings while Leafstar is out," Wolfshade commented.

"Yeah, Nightstorm and I spent a lot of time with Brackenstorm or Clovertail when we were kits. Cherrytail is a bit too overwhelmed by her own kits to watch Leafstar's right now though," I meowed with a purr. "Apparently those three are quite the paw-ful. But, I don't mind watching Wrenkit and Rosekit while our parents are busy."

"Really?" Wolfshade asked, sitting down next to me and wrapping his tail around his paws carefully.

I let out a soft purr of amusement as I noticed the movement, knowing how he worried about accidentally stepping on kits.

"Yeah, they're kind of fun," I meowed. "In a ridiculous sort of way."

"Wolfshade!" Wrenkit meowed, bounding up to Wolfshade.

Wolfshade titled his head at him quizzically. 

"Will you play with us?" Wrenkit squeaked, blinking big eyes up at him.

"Erm..." Wolfshade meowed, giving a few hard blinks.

"Please?" Rosekit asked, running over to join Wrenkit to gaze up at Wolfshade.

"Yeah, Wolfshade. Play with them," I purred.

"I, uh, don't know—" Wolfshade began.

"Wow! You're so big!" Rosekit meowed, circling around him with wide eyes.

Wolfshade carefully tucked his paws more tightly under himself.

"I bet Nightstorm is bigger though," Wrenkit meowed, sticking his tail into the air, and walking up to study Wolfshade too.

"He's my brother," Wrenkit boasted, puffing out his chest.

"I know," Wolfshade said.

"Why do you spend so much time with Lightningfire?" Rosekit meowed suddenly, looking up at Wolfshade.

"Well I like spending time with her," Wolfshade replied.

"I like her too," Wrenkit meowed, furrowing his brow. "But, you're always _staring_ at her."

Wolfshade's fur prickled, a look of discomfort plain on his face.

"You better play with them, or they'll never shut up," I teased Wolfshade, a bit amused at his embarrassment.

"I think Wolfshade _really likes_ her!" Rosekit said with a purr, bouncing up and down on her toes.

I purred back, but I noticed Wolfshade continued to sit in silence, his shoulders stiff.

My brow furrowed slightly.

"That's enough," I meowed gently to Wrenkit and Rosekit. "Stop ruffling Wolfshade's fur."

I rose to my paws to push them away with my muzzle.

"Why don't you go play rat attack by Rockpile," I meowed to them.

"Can we climb Rockpile?" Wrenkit gasped, looking back at me with eager eyes.

"Don't go higher than halfway... and don't tell Leafstar," I meowed.

Rosekit and Wrenkit let out squeaks of excitement and dashed over to Rockpile. I turned back to Wolfshade, studying his tense form.

"Are you okay?" I meowed to him, lowering my voice and blinking at him sympathetically.

"Yeah," he said, giving his head a shake and rising to his paws. "Sorry. You know I'm not good with kits."

"It's my fault, I shouldn't have let them bother you so much," I said, giving an apologetic purr. "I didn't mean to upset you. I was only teasing, and they're only kits, you know? They say silly things."

Wolfshade nodded, clearing his throat, but he wouldn't meet my gaze.

"Well, I'm going to go," he meowed, turning away.

My brow furrowed in concern and my tail twitched behind me.

"Wait, are you sure you're okay?" I meowed.

He paused.

"Yeah, yeah," he said a bit quickly. "I'm just going for a hunt."

I tilted my head at him.

"Want to wait until sun-high? I could join you then, once Leafstar gets back," I said.

"I- uh..." Wolfshade said. "I would rather go by myself. I want to have some time alone to think."

_Time alone? Or, time away from me...?_

Uncertainty swirled in my stomach.

 _Something's bothering him._ _He likes spending time with me... right?_

Wolfshade glanced at my expression, reading the concern on my face.

"I'm fine, Lightning," he meowed, purring slightly as he gave a reassuring blink over his shoulder. "See you soon."

I nodded, and he walked away. I turned back to watch my younger siblings tumble and tackle each other from the Rockpile, but the worry about Wolfshade still nettled me slightly like a burr caught deep in my pelt.

I continued to watch them until sun-high, when Leafstar returned to camp from her border patrol, and her meeting with Sharpclaw to review the status of the Clan.

"Thanks for watching them, Lightningfire," Leafstar meowed, padding up to me.

"No problem," I meowed with a purr, my siblings climbing all over my sides.

"Leafstar! Wrenkit called me a _rat!"_ Rosekit squeaked, bounding up to our mother.

"I did not!" Wrenkit protested, scrambling off of my side to run up to Rosekit.

"I just said you were _acting_ like one!" he concluded smugly.

"Rat this!" Rosekit yowled, springing at him.

Wrenkit squeaked as the two of them went tumbling through the sand again.

"That's enough you two," Leafstar scolded.

They ignored her, continuing to bat and nip at each other.

"StarClan give me patience," Leafstar muttered to herself.

"Alright. Back up to the nursery we go," Leafstar said, nosing my siblings apart and towards the dens.

"Good luck!" I purred to her as she tried to herd them away.

"Even with you causing trouble by sneaking out of camp, you and Nightstorm were relatively easy kits! How will I put up with another four moons of this," Leafstar meowed with a sigh over her shoulder, but her eyes glowed softly with love for my siblings.

"When Lightningfire was a kit she snuck out of camp!?" Wrenkit gasped.

His eyes lit up with mischief, and I could see several bad ideas turning in his head. I snickered, but tried to muffle my laughter as Leafstar stared down at them with wide eyes, mortified as she realized what she'd done.

"Never mind that!" Leafstar meowed quickly, nudging them ahead of her more swiftly now. "It's time for a nap!"

Leafstar shot me a desperate look over her shoulder, and I gave her a sympathetic blink in response. Still though, I couldn't help letting out a purr as I watched my rambunctious siblings walk away. My mother met up with Brackenstorm, and the two of them ushered my siblings up the cliffside trail to the nursery. As their tails disappeared into the den, I felt some of my happiness dim as worry replaced it.

My little siblings were fun and cute, but also so, so tiny and fragile. Their little lives were perfect right now. They hadn't experienced the pain or the worry or the death that sometimes consumed our lives. I'd seen them marvel at Nightstorm's frostbitten ear or Leafstar's long scar, wondering at them because their pelts were unblemished, and they couldn't fathom that there could be something so painful that it marked your body forever. I loved Wrenkit and Rosekit, and I wanted, desperately, to _protect_ them from pain and horror and anything that would end with them having scars on their pelts.

A deep gnawing worry filled me as the image of the dead fox, which so often haunted my mind, formed in my head. My thoughts then flickered to Whisper and her secret, and I sighed heavily. I found myself longing to be an apprentice again, when my only worry was how to get Wolfshade to notice me.

I shook my head sharply as Leafstar came bounding back down from the den, leaving my siblings in the charge of Brackenstorm.

"Did Wrenkit and Rosekit tire you out so quickly?" I said with a teasing purr as Leafstar trotted over to the Rockpile.

She purred in response.

"I promised Creampaw and Seedpaw an important ceremony today," she meowed. "And, I don't think they'd be pleased if I forgot about it."

My ears pricked in excitement.

"You're making them warriors?" I asked.

She nodded, her eyes sparkling. Then Leafstar turned and bounded up Rockpile, letting out a yowl to summon the Clan. I settled down on my haunches and watched as my clan-mates appeared, either coming down from their dens, woken up from naps or gathering closer from where they were lingering around the edges of the camp. I scanned the crowd, and I felt a happy jolt when I spotted Wolfshade's pelt. He must have come back from his hunt. Although the happy jolt was tempered by a bit of worry as I remembered his strange mood from earlier.

"SkyClan continues to grow strong!" Leafstar meowed, pulling me from my thoughts. "It is again time for me to preform my favorite ceremony: the making of new warriors!"

The Clan cheered, and I lifted my voice along with them.

"Seedpaw and Creampaw, would you please step forward," Leafstar said.

The two sisters padded into the center of the crowd, right at the base of Rockpile. Both of their heads were held high.

"I, Leafstar, leader of SkyClan, call upon my warrior ancestors to look down on these apprentices. They have trained hard to understand the ways of your noble code, and I commend them to you as warriors in their turn," Leafstar meowed, her voice joyful as the sunlight shone down on her sleek tabby pelt.

Leafstar bounded down Rockpile to stand in front of Creampaw and Seedpaw.

Both of the apprentices' eyes were shining. Creampaw's long grey tabby and cream fur was carefully groomed. Seedpaw's white and tabby patched short fur was sleek, and she stood with her head high. I felt a sort of pride while watching them; a soft warmth glowed in my chest to see how grown up, strong, and confident they looked. We had come so far since the two of them, and Nightshade and I, were in the nursery together.

"Creampaw, Seedpaw, do you promise to uphold the warrior code and to protect and defend your Clan, even at the cost of your lives?" Leafstar asked them.

"I do!" Creampaw said first, her grey eyes bright with excitement.

"I do," Seedpaw echoed, sounding a bit calmer than her sister.

"Then by the powers of StarClan, I give you your warrior names," Leafstar meowed.

"Creampaw, from this moment on, you will be known as Creamclaw," Leafstar meowed to her. "StarClan honors your bravery and enthusiasm, and we welcome you as a full member as SkyClan."

Leafstar rested her muzzle on Creamclaw's head. Creamclaw licked her shoulder before withdrawing, her head and tail held high.

"Seedpaw," Leafstar said, turning to the other sister. "From this moment on, you will be known as Seedheart. StarClan honors your loyalty and thoughtfulness, and we welcome you as a full member of SkyClan."

Leafstar touched her muzzle to Seedheart's head, and then Seedheart licked her shoulder before stepping back next to Creamclaw.

"Seedheart! Creamclaw! Seedheart! Creamclaw!" I yowled, raising my voice along with the rest of the Clan.

I noticed Bouncefire's eyes were bright with pride as he cheered for his first apprentice, and he was one of the first to go congratulate the sisters. Their parents Waspwhisker and Fallowfern were close behind, along with their older siblings. I padded up to them too, giving them both a friendly nudge with my muzzle.

"It'll be good to have you two back in the den," I purred to them.

"We were getting awful lonely in the apprentice den all by ourselves," Creamclaw purred.

"Congratulations!" I added, before withdrawing to make room for others.

As cats swarmed the sisters, my gaze drifted to Wolfshade, and I found his eyes already on me. I padded over to him, greeting him with a purr. I studied his face to see if any of the weirdness from before remained, but his expression seemed neutral. Although, I couldn't tell if that was because he was hiding his feelings, or if he was genuinely not upset.

"You're back!" I said.

"Yeah," he meowed with a friendly blink.

His gaze moved to Creamclaw and Seedheart.

"The apprentice den will be empty now," he commented.

I shrugged.

"Sure, but Ripplekit, Adderkit, and Owlkit will be apprentices soon enough," I meowed. "How was your hunt?"

"The hunt was pretty good," he meowed with a pleased nod. "I got several mice and two birds."

"And, I hope it gave you plenty of time to 'think?'" I asked, tilting my head at him.

He blinked once in confusion before his eyes widened as he remembered the conversation.

"Yeah," he meowed a bit bluntly, bending his head to give his chest a few self-conscious licks.

I narrowed my eyes at him.

_Why is he acting so weird about this?_

"Come to any deep revelations about life?" I joked, trying to lighten the strange tension between us.

Wolfshade purred slightly.

"Not really. Next time," he meowed, relaxing.

I nodded, studying him. Wolfshade was quite the mystery when he wanted to be. I would have more luck trying to fish in a murky pond with my eyes closed than I would trying to pry information out of him. I was musing over if it was even worth asking him any more questions, when Wolfshade glanced up at the sky. The sun had passed its zenith and was now dipping towards the horizon. Wolfshade glanced back at me.

"Want to go on a hunt with me?" he asked.

I blinked at him in surprise.

"But, you just came back from a hunt," I meowed. "Don't you want a break?"

Wolfshade purred quietly.

"Yeah, but it wasn't a hunt with you," he meowed, his green eyes gentle, and I felt my stomach flutter as if I had eaten a whole flock of moths. "What do you say?"

Warmth spread across my chest like a blossoming flower. It seemed like whatever was bothering him earlier was gone.

"Okay," I meowed. "Should we leave now?"

Wolfshade nodded, getting to his feet. I leapt to my paws, feeling a sudden rush of mischief. I took off without warning, running out of camp.

"Hey!" Wolfshade's voice shouted behind me, playfully indignant.

Wolfshade ran after me. As we tore through the gorge, exiting it and entering the forest, he lengthened his stride, eating up the ground to catch up to my side, where he matched his pace to mine. I shot him a challenging look out of the corner of my eye, then I bent over, stretching my long legs out as I doubled my speed, sprinting ahead of him. The wind whipped through my fur, and the sun dappled tree canopies flew by above me. Wolfshade's paws pounded close behind me. I turned my head, and I saw him right at my tail, his paws flying and his fur slicked back by wind as he ran. I turned my eyes back forward, my chest heaving in great breaths of the sweet new-leaf air. I soared over a fallen tree without breaking stride, then ran through the border of the trees, coming out of the forest and onto the fields above the cliffs of the gorge.

We tore through the tall golden grass, the scent of honeysuckle in my nose and the heat of the sun on my back. Wolfshade had caught up to me now, and he ran at my side, disappearing and reappearing in the golden fronds like the flickering of a fish under the surface of a stream. I turned slightly, climbing the big hill on the field. I slowed as we crested the hill, finally coming to a stop at the top of it. Wolfshade padded up to my side. We both panted heavily, trying to catch our breaths as we looked out over our territory. In front of us, the fields stretched on for a while longer before ending at the two-leg place where the daylight warriors' two-leg homes were.

I turned, and behind me, the fields rolled until it reached the gorge. I could see the jutting of Skyrock, then beyond that the top of the cliffs on the other side of the gorge, topped with trees, and the setting sun behind them.

I sighed, closing my eyes for a moment, and letting it all wash over me.

"It's beautiful isn't it?" Wolfshade murmured.

I opened my eyes and looked over at him. He gazed out over our territory, his green eyes sparkling and full of the reflection of light from the setting sun. He held his head high and his long fur blew in the new-leaf breeze, while his face was creased with solemn wonder as his gaze searched SkyClan's land. A soft purr rumbled in my throat as I gazed at him.

"Yeah it is," I meowed quietly.

He looked over at me. When our gazes met, he purred, stepping forward to press his cheek to mine.

"You look beautiful in the setting sunlight," he murmured softly to me before pulling his head back.

His ears pricked in an hesitantly hopeful expression as he gazed at me shyly, waiting for my response.

My heart hammered in my chest. Standing here, with him on this beautiful day, I couldn't imagine anything more perfect. It felt like I could fly.

I wanted to put words to the feeling. To tell him how my heart ached when we were apart. How just the brush of his fur against mine sent lightning bolts across my skin. How all I wanted was to lose myself in his beautiful eyes forever.

How _he_ was all I wanted.

"Wolfshade, I…" I meowed.

His eyes widened expectantly, and I couldn't get the words out.

I stepped forward, burying my face in his fur. I closed my eyes and just breathed.

"…Thank you," was all I managed to say.

"Let's watch the sunset," he meowed.

"Alright," I said taking my face out of his fur.

"No. Let's get a better view," he said with a soft purr. "I know the perfect tree for it."

"Tree?" I echoed, tilting my head.

Wolfshade just purred and didn't respond.

I followed Wolfshade as he led me out of the field and back to the forest. We walked for a while, and the sun began to dip lower and lower towards the horizon, but Wolfshade seemed like he was certain about where he was going. He padded with purpose though the trees, finally coming to a stop at a tall pine.

I let out a short purr of laughter when I recognized it.

"Really?" I meowed.

"You probably remember it from our first hunt together," Wolfshade meowed, tilting his head at me.

"The tree we caught the squirrel in during my hunting assessment. Yeah, I remember," I purred.

I walked over to him to flick my tail against his side.

"Funny. I never thought of you as so sentimental, Wolfshade" I added teasingly.

"This tree also happens to be the best tree to watch the sunset from in the whole forest," Wolfshade meowed, stubbornly ignoring my teasing for the most part, but I could hear a faint purr in his voice.

He tilted his ears towards the tree trunk.

"I'll show you," he meowed, starting to scale it.

I followed him up the trunk. As we climbed, I admired how he moved effortlessly up the tree, leaping from branch to branch with ease despite his large size.

We climbed very high, higher than I've ever went before, breaking through the tops of the canopies of the other shorter trees that surrounded the pine. I turned my head while my claws still clung to the trunk, looking over my shoulder to see the setting sun behind me.

My chest tightened in nervousness as my gaze flickered down, and I realized how far from the ground we were. I wasn't sure where Wolfshade was taking us. The branches here were becoming questionably thin. They probably would not be able to support our weights soon.

"Almost there," Wolfshade called from above me, and I felt my worries quell.

I turned back towards the trunk and continued to climb. Wolfshade only went up a few more tail lengths before disappearing suddenly in the shadows on the trunk. I blinked in surprise, then his head poked back out of a hole in the tree trunk that I hadn't noticed before. I climbed up to him, entering the hollow of the trunk. It was dark and cozy inside. A soft moss grew on the floor and up the walls, and there was just enough room for me and Wolfshade to sit side by side. When I turned around to look out of the hole, I could see a great expanse of green leaves stretching out in front of me. The sun was setting, dipping into the sea of shadowed leaves below, and, above, the sky was a swirling blend of purples and reds.

 _"StarClan,"_ I whispered, my eyes widening at the magnificent sight.

"I found this hollow about a moon ago, when I chased a squirrel all the way up this tree," Wolfshade meowed.

"I lost the squirrel," he admitted, scuffling his paws. "But, I stumbled across this. I don't think anyone else knows about it... I've been wanting to show you, but we've both been busy..."

Warmth blossomed in my chest, thrumming through me from my nose to my tail-tip. I tore my gaze off of the sunset to look at him. He was watching me eagerly, his eyes wide as he studied my face, trying to read my thoughts. I started to purr.

I couldn't believe how great he was, and how lucky I was. He found this stunning place, and out of all cats, he wanted to show it to _me_.

"It's amazing, Wolfshade. Thank you," I meowed.

"I'm glad you like it," he purred, his eyes lighting up.

I blinked up at him, happiness drumming in my chest as strongly as my heart.

_I love it._

I leaned against his side, twining his tail with mine. Then we turned back and watched the sun dip beneath the trees together.


	28. The Whispering Cave

I padded out of the warrior's den and down to the stream, the stars and the half moon shining above me. A dark dream of crashing thunder and wailing cats had jerked me from sleep just a few moments ago. Once I had sat up in my nest, panting and reassuring myself it was only a nightmare, I realized my mouth was as dry as sand. At least I didn't have to worry about waking Wolfshade with my fidgeting, since he had a shift of guard duty on Skyrock tonight.

I shook my head, trying to dislodge the clinging webs of the nightmare. It had been pitch-black in the dream, with nothing around me but flickering shadow-cats. I padded up to the bank of the stream, bending to lap up a few mouthfuls of the cool water from a slow moving area. I sighed as the sweet, cool taste soothed my tongue.

My whiskers sparkled with droplets in the moonlight as I raised my head and licked the last few bits of the water off of my lips. I watched as the ripples caused from my drinking dissipated, and the water stilled for a moment. I saw a shadowy cat staring back a me, the stars framing around her head. I flinched back, my mind immediately flying to my dream. But, the shadow-cat in the water recoiled the same, blinking dark amber eyes at me.

I released an embarrassed huff of air, shaking my head.

_It's just you, mouse-brain._

I licked my chest a few times to calm myself, and I watched as my reflection did the same, her orange and brown tabby face rippling with the small waves of the water. At least no one had been around to witness me almost jump out of my fur at the sight of my reflection.

But, then my ears prickled at the sound of paw-steps.

_Oh, fox-dung, maybe I wasn't as lucky as I thought._

My eyes drifted towards the noise. Echosong was padding along the on the other side of the stream, close to the other cliff, but she hadn't seemed to have noticed me.

My brow furrowed in confusion at the sight of her out before I remembered.

_It's a half moon. She shares tongues with StarClan tonight._

I watched her for a moment longer, curiosity prickling at my pelt, until she disappeared around a corner of the cliff. Then I rose to my paws, about to return to the den, when another flicker of movement appeared in the corner of my vision. I turned towards it, and the fur on my shoulders rose.

There was a cat following Echosong along the trail. I froze, all of my muscles tensing and claws unsheathing. I could just barely see the outline of the cat's pale pelt in the shadows, but it wasn't enough for me to recognize it. The mystery cat vanished around the corner of the cliff after Echosong.

_Who are you?_

A shiver of fear ran up my spine, and I jerked forward.

_What if it's a cat from the two-leg place? The one that killed Crash?!_

I almost yowled for help, but then I sucked in a deep breath of air, and felt the fur on my shoulder's flatten as I realized that I could scent nothing but SkyClan on the breeze.

_It's probably just a curious clan-mate then. Calm down._

I gave my head a shake.

_I'm letting my nightmares get the better of me._

But, still, I couldn't in good-conscious go back to my nest without going to investigate... just in case Echosong was in trouble.

I padded to the stepping stones. My paws prickled with urgency as I crouched down to leap to the first one. But, once my feet touched the first treacherous, slippery stone, I forced myself to move slowly and carefully as I jumped to the other ones, not wanting to take an accidental dip in the river. I managed to reach the other side of the stream without incident, but now I was standing on a narrow, twisting, wet path.

Taking a deep breath, I began to walk along the path at a measured pace.

 _Warriors aren't allowed here without a medicine cat escort,_ an intrusive thought whispered in my mind.

I sent the thought away with a flick of my ears.

_I'm making sure the medicine cat is safe._

I turned around the corner of the cliff that Echosong and the mystery cat had passed a few moments earlier. I could see the cat with the pale pelt several fox-lengths ahead of me. He was standing by the mouth of the Whispering Cave, and he turned his head to look at me.

My brow furrowed.

It was too dark and he was too far away for me to make out his features. But, I could tell now that it was a grey and white cat, and I couldn't help having a creeping feeling that I'd seen him before. There was something about the shape of his head, the silhouette of his ears in the moonlight, the paleness of his pelt...

_How do I know him?_

I unsheathed my claws. Whoever he was though, he wasn't a clan-mate. No one in SkyClan had grey and white patches like that.

The cat turned and vanished into the Whispering Cave.

"Hey, stop!" I yowled, jerking forward.

I dashed after him, my paws sliding on the narrow, treacherous trail. I slipped on to my side, letting out a sharp breath as I banged my hip against the hard ground. My heart pounded in panic as I slithered towards the edge of the trail.

Hissing in fear, I managed to scramble back to my feet, the dark, rapidly moving river only a tail length way from my muzzle. Digging my claws into the rocky ground for extra grip, I continued quickly forward, closing the gap between me and the mouth of the cave.

When I reached the entrance of the Whisper Cave, I froze for a heartbeat.

There was only darkness inside of the yawning mouth, but it was different from the darkness of the dens back in camp. That sort of darkness was warm and cozy, like the press of a comforting pelt. This darkness felt cold and threatening. A chilly wind blew out of the cave and stirred my whiskers. It felt vaguely like a challenge. As if it was daring me to see if I had the nerve to enter. I swallowed, taking a deep breath to steady myself, then I slipped inside.

Every hair on my pelt bristled on end as I followed the path through the cave, letting my whiskers guide me through the tunnel, since my eyes were useless. I knew I could bump into the stranger cat at any moment, and I had to be ready. My chest tightened as I walked farther and farther in, and still there was no sign of the tunnel ending or of the cat.

Then, so faintly at first I thought I was imagining it, I saw a yellow glow. It shone brighter as I continued forward, then, blinking, I stepped into a small cavern.

For an instant, I totally forgot why I had come here. I felt nothing but a wave of awe washing over me as I took in the sight.

The walls and ground on the cavern were covered in a glowing yellow moss that sparkled and shone like stars. Clumps of it hung down from the ceiling, where water dripped down, forming small puddles on the ground.

Echosong was curled up on a patch of dry moss in the center of the cave, eyes shut and contentedly asleep. My gaze drifted up, and I saw the grey-and-white cat.

He stood behind Echosong, regarding me calmly with pale blue eyes that glowed with the yellow light around us. My heart started to pound again. I took a threatening step forward, my lips curled back in a snarl. I wasn't going to let him hurt the sleeping Echosong.

"Who are you?" I growled. "What do you want?"

He blinked. His pelt grew transparent, and then he simply vanished.

_What?!_

My eyes went wide as moons. The fur on my shoulders rose, and I looked from side to side, even turning all the way around to check behind me, but he was gone. I shook my head as my thoughts raced wildly.

"Lightningfire? What are you doing here?"

I jumped straight up into the air in fright before my mind was able to focus enough to recognize the voice. I turned to see Echosong blinking awake, peering curiously up at me.

"I saw a cat following you here. So, I followed him because I was worried you were in danger. But, when I got here, I saw him just vanish right into the air!" I gasped, the words spilling out of me at rapid speed.

I shook my head, taking a deep breath as I tried to calm down.

"I don't understand it."

Echosong stared at me with an intensely curious gaze.

"...It sounds like you saw a StarClan warrior," she meowed.

"I know normal cats don't just vanish," I meowed, my brow furrowing. "But, that doesn't make sense either... Why would I see a StarClan warrior? I'm not a medicine cat."

Echosong hesitated. She opened her mouth like she was going to say something, but then she closed it again.

"StarClan works in mysterious ways," she meowed finally. "Maybe they wanted you to come here. Or, perhaps they were just feeling restless this half moon."

I tilted my head at her.

"Why would they want me to come here?" I asked. "Did you dream about something like this tonight?"

_And, what was that hesitation about?_

"No," she said, giving her head a small shake. "Let's get back to camp."

Echosong rose to her paws.

"If StarClan has something to tell you, you'll know it in due time," she added, padding past me.

I narrowed my eyes slightly at her comment.

_She definitely knows more than she's letting on..._

My tail twitched with unease, but I didn't say anything as I eagerly followed her out of the Whispering Cave. Although the powerful, heavy presence of my ancestors in there was comforting in some ways, in other ways it was terrifying... like there were thousands of eyes on me. I was grateful when I stepped out of the yellow glow. Echosong and I walked down the path back to camp in silence.

Echosong appeared distracted, her brow furrowed. Her gaze was clouded in thought, and she seemed to barely pay attention to where she put her paws on the narrow, slippery path. I, however, watched her intently; half wondering what she was thinking, and half worried that she was going to fall into the river, and I would have to leap in after her to haul her out. Thankfully, we made it back down the trail and across the stream without incident.

"Will I get in trouble for going to Whispering Cave without a medicine cat escort?" I asked, breaking the silence between us as we padded into camp.

Echosong blinked, turning to me, and her gaze focused like she was coming back to herself.

"Oh no. I think we can make an exception for you this time," she meowed with a soft purr of amusement.

"Goodnight, Lightningfire," Echosong meowed, turning and walking into her den.

My brow furrowed as I watched her go.

"Goodnight," I meowed to her back.

I bent my head and began to groom my pelt. I was much too on edge to go back to my nest yet, and the weird interaction with Echosong and this mysterious StarClan warrior was whirling in my mind like a storm.

_What could StarClan want with me? And, why do I have a feeling Echosong knows the answer, but won't tell me?_

I frowned to myself.

_It couldn't have to do with me getting a bad feeling from the fox omen, like Echosong did... right? Am I more in-tune with StarClan than other warriors? But, I'm not a medicine cat!_

I heard a rustle at the edge of the camp, and I lifted my head to see Whisper push her way through the undergrowth with two sparrows and a mouse in her jaws. I gave my head a small shake, feeling a prickle of gratitude that Whisper had shown up to be a welcome distraction.

"Hey, Lightningfire!" Whisper meowed, waving her tail at me as she dropped her prey off at the fresh-kill pile.

"Hey, Whisper," I meowed, padding up to the dark ginger she-cat. "You're up late."

"I was on a night hunt," she meowed, inclining her head towards the fresh-kill.

"I noticed. I mean, I figured you hadn't just stumbled upon a pile of fresh-kill," I said drily with a brief purr.

Whisper rumbled a brief purr back before she took a deep breath and sat down next to me.

"I'm glad I bumped into you, though," she meowed. "I wanted to tell you that I've been thinking about it more... and I think I was just being paranoid."

"What are you talking about?" I asked, tilting my head at her.

"Losing Crash really messed me up," she rasped quietly, staring down at her paws. "But, now that it's been almost three moons since he died... I've been thinking about it a lot, and given all the evidence, I think it's pretty unlikely that he was killed by the cats from the city."

My ears pricked in interest.

"What made you change your mind?" I said.

"Well, we haven't found any trace of strange cats around SkyClan borders or in the territory. I feel like if it was them, we might have heard or seen something suspicious by now, even just unfamiliar scents the edge of the borders... But, everything has been peaceful, and well... I think you were right about Crash's death too," Whisper said. "Judging by his wounds, it doesn't seem super likely that he could've been killed by a cat."

She glanced back up at me, and I nodded slowly. I felt relief lifting a weight from my shoulders. I really hoped Whisper was right, and we were just being paranoid.

"Well I'm glad that you think everything is safe," I meowed to Whisper.

Whisper nodded. For the first time since Crash's death, I saw a content expression on her face.

"Goodnight, Lightningfire," Whisper meowed, giving a wave of her tail as she padded off.

I nodded a goodbye to her as she headed up to the dens. As Whisper climbed the cliff, I noticed Wolfshade coming down from the trail that led to Skyrock. I lifted my tail in greeting to him, and he padded over to me.

"Why are you up so late?" he said, walking up to me. "Were you talking with Whisper?"

My ears twisted back slightly as I was forced to think about my earlier exchange with Echosong, and what she said about the spirit. I rasped my tongue down my chest self-consciously. How could I explain that I maybe saw a StarClan cat to Wolfshade, when I hardly understood it myself? He'd probably look at me like I'd grown a second head.

My tail twitched. I decided I didn't want to talk about it... not yet at least.

"Uh, I was kinda talking to Whisper, but not really," I meowed awkwardly. "I just bumped into her when she was on her way to her nest from a hunt. I was out to get a drink of water."

He paused, and I saw his eyes narrow. He must sense that I was holding back information. My tail twitched guiltily.

"Really?" he meowed.

"Well, that's mostly it," I said lamely.

He frowned at me, and I felt the fur down my back prickle. Now he definitely knew that I was lying to him. But, what else could I say?

"What did you and Whisper chat about?" he meowed coolly. "Important secret conversations?"

My ears flattened, and I scowled back at him, not liking the edge in his tone.

He seemed to have guessed that I was holding back about Whisper and not that something else had happened... although he was not actually wrong on about Whisper... I still hadn't told him about her fears about the city cats.

"Whisper's a good cat. I just like to talk with her, and it just happened that we were both still up," I said, doing my best to keep my mew neutral and steady, but I knew an undercurrent of defensiveness had entered my voice.

"I've noticed that you do talk to her a lot," Wolfshade meowed. "But, the conversations tend to end awfully quickly when anyone walks up to you."

I sighed, a dozen feelings swirling all at once in my chest, but I could tell the biggest ones were guilt and annoyance battling together.

"Just tell me what's bothering you, Wolfshade," I said, my tail-tip twitching. "Stop circling it like a vulture."

"Fine. For the past couple of moons, you've been acting strange whenever you talk to Whisper. If I pad up to you while you're talking to her, you clamp your jaws shut. And, you get this guilty look on your face," Wolfshade said bluntly. "It makes me feel like you're keeping something important from me. Lying to me."

My gaze flickered down, the feeling of gnawing guilt growing.

"You've got the look again, right now," Wolfshade said, his voice a tad sardonic.

"Ugh. I'm sorry. It's nothing," I said quickly, looking up at him and clenching my jaw.

"But, it's not nothing," he said, his brow furrowed. "If it was nothing, you wouldn't be acting like this! I don't understand why you want to shut me out. Aren't we supposed to help each other? Why can't you tell me what's going on with you and Whisper?"

I chewed the inside of my cheek as I stared at him. Maybe it would be better to tell him. He could have a different perspective on things, and he might be able to help both me and Whisper.

But, then an image of the look of fragile peace on Whisper's face appeared in my mind. I knew that would quickly shatter if my clan-mates found out her secret. What if Wolfshade insisted on telling Leafstar? And, something happened to Whisper, Shiver, and Tattered because of it? ... And, even if nothing happened, Whisper would never trust me again.

I looked down at the ground, my chest tight with anxiety and dread.

"...Whisper asked me not to tell," I meowed finally.

Wolfshade sighed heavily.

"I knew there was something," he said.

My shoulders sagged. I didn't look at his face, but I could hear the hurt in his voice.

"Look, I'm sorry," I meowed, my eyes flashing back up to his as I dug my claws into the ground to steady myself. "But, I made a promise to her, and I can't betray her trust like that. And, besides, I don't even think that it's a big deal... It's just this thing that Whisper..."

My voice trailed off, and a shrugged helplessly.

"But, if it's not even a big deal, then why can't you tell me?" he asked, his gaze searching mine.

My tail drooped to drag on the ground.

"She asked me not to tell _anyone,"_ I protested. "She's my friend."

"But, it's me, Lightningfire," Wolfshade said, his ears flattening. "I'm not just _any_ cat."

I stared at him, feeling the first stirrings of anger in my chest.

 _Does he really want us to tell each other everything?_ _**Wolfshade** wants this. The cat who's default reaction in uncomfortable situations is to clamp his jaws shut and just stand their like he's mute?! Maybe I haven't told him everything about myself, but he certainly hasn't told me everything about him. What about that day with my little siblings, when it was so obvious something was bothering him, but he wouldn't tell me a thing!_

_I never push too hard; why can't he do the same?_

I set my jaw.

"So, we're going to be totally transparent now? Fine. I'll tell you. But, only if you tell me what's been bothering you," I shot back, my tail tip giving a twitch.

His eyes widened.

"What?" he meowed taken aback, his face confused. "What are you talking about?"

"You've said that I've been acting weird with Whisper, but what about the times that _you've_ been acting weird?" I meowed in exasperation. "Like that time when I was watching Wrenkit and Rosekit. You just suddenly got all broody and quiet and want to be alone."

Wolfshade scowled.

"And, you're a broody cat, but I mean, more than usual," I added.

Wolfshade's fur fluffed up, flushing with heat. I saw him dig his claws into the ground.

"It was... I was just having... some... personal problems," he said through a clenched jaw.

My tail twitched more rapidly.

"What sort of problems?" I asked.

"Why does it matter?" he shot back, his voice exasperated.

I widened by eyes at him.

"Why does it matter?" I echoed incredulously. "Because you want me to tell you what's wrong, when it's not even anything to do with you! But, when I want _you_ to tell me what wrong, you won't! Even when I'm clearly part of the problem! I've only seen you get upset like that when you hang around with me!"

I didn't even realize the words were the truth until they were out of my mouth. My chest tightened in emotion, insecurity suddenly washing over me. It stormed together with the guilt I felt about Whisper's secret in my heart. I bowed my head, my jaw clenching.

Wolfshade stood still for a moment, just staring at me.

"I promise, it's my own issues. It doesn't have anything to do with you. And, I'm dealing with it. Don't worry about it," he meowed finally.

"And, Whisper's secret doesn't have anything to do with you. And, it also happens to me behind _me_ ," I said back, narrowing my eyes at him. "You don't want me to shut you out, but you won't tell me what's bothering you. So, why should I tell you what Whisper told me?"

Wolfshade's ears flattened, and his green gaze burnt into mine.

"At least I haven't been lying to you, Lightningfire," Wolfshade said, his jaw clenched. "I haven't proactively come forward about what's bothering me because it's hard for me to talk about. But, I've never lied to you about it. Not like how you've lied to me about Whisper."

My ears flattened. His expression was vulnerable, and I could see hurt swirling in his eyes. I felt sudden, aching guilt for arguing with him.

Maybe I had gone too far. I should've never thrown how he was being distant in his face like that. That had only made things worse.

I sighed heavily, my body stiff... but I wasn't able to say anything to him.

"Look. I like you a lot. And, I'd like to help you, okay? That's all," Wolfshade muttered. "But, if you aren't ready to open up to me... maybe we should slow things down some."

My eyes widened suddenly in shock, and my stomach flipped nauseatingly. I looked up to search his face, but he wouldn't meet his gaze to mine.

"Slow things down? What... what does that mean?" I meowed.

He didn't respond.

"Please, Wolfshade. I'm sor—"

I clenched my jaw against the words as, before I could say anything more, Wolfshade turned and walked away. I dug my claws into the ground as I watched him climb up into the warrior's den alone.


	29. Sooty

I padded into camp with Nightstorm at my side, and both of our jaws filled with fresh-kill. My back was pleasantly warmed from the sun, and the good weather had tempted plenty of prey from their dens. So many in fact, Nightstorm and I had a competition to see who could catch the most. He got two mice, a thrush, and a starling, while I got a squirrel, a pheasant, and a little song bird.

I _tried_ to argue that the pheasant was big enough it should count for at least both of his mice... but he wasn't having it and proclaimed himself the winner.

_Mouse-brain._

But, I still purred softly to myself thinking about it, my heart happy.

_I wish Wolfshade had been there too though..._

My whiskers immediately drooped, my good mood soured. Wolfshade had been giving me the cold shoulder for the past few sunrises. Every time we talked, it felt tense and awkward, although he always remained polite. He still slept next to me, but he'd vanish from the nest every morning before I woke up.

I just wanted us to go back to the way it was before this dumb argument.

_Wolfshade must know that I care about him right? I wasn't trying to hurt him by keeping Whisper's secret. I was just trying to be a good friend to Whisper..._

_I just need to make him understand that._

My tail twitched as Nightstorm and I went over to the fresh-kill pile to put our prey away. I sighed heavily to myself, determined to talk to Wolfshade today.

"Uh-oh," Nightstorm meowed, yanking me out of my thoughts.

"'Uh-oh,' what?" I asked, giving him look from the corner of my eyes.

He arched a brow at me.

"That sigh. Nothing good happens after you sigh like that," he said, his voice dry.

My brow furrowed, and I glared at him.

"What do you know, mouse-brain?" I grumbled.

Nightstorm shrugged.

"I have been living with you for our whole lives," he meowed. "I've heard that sigh more times than I can count. But, fine, discount my wisdom."

My tail twitched.

"Squirrels are wiser than you," I retorted.

"Would a squirrel notice that you wanted to go hunting with me today instead of Wolfshade?" Nightstorm asked, an infuriating self-satisfied look on his muzzle. "Did you get into a lover's quarrel?"

I swatted at his tail.

"That's none of your business," I snapped, the fur on my shoulders prickling.

Nightstorm was uncowed. He just shrugged again, putting on a look of disinterest.

"Fine," he meowed. "I just hope for your sake that sigh wasn't about him. Otherwise you're going to end up in more trouble than you started."

I hissed in irritation, but Nightstorm just turned on his heel and padded off to greet Creamclaw. I rasped my tongue down my shoulder to flatten my pelt, still feeling upset.

_Nightstorm doesn't know what he's meowing on about. He's just trying to ruffle my fur. Talking to Wolfshade will be fine._

Once I had smoothed my fur, I only had to wait by the fresh-kill pile for a few heartbeats longer before I saw Wolfshade across the camp. I took a deep breath and strode over to him.

"Wolfshade!" I meowed, raising my tail in greeting.

Wolfshade stopped, turning to me, ears pricked. I was relieved to see that, although he was a bit tense, he didn't look upset. He actually seemed rather happy to see me.

"Please, can we talk? I hate that we're fighting like this," I meowed to him, my stomach twisting.

Wolfshade relaxed, his tail raising in a hesitant but hopeful gesture.

"Me too," he meowed. "I've been doing some thinking..."

"Me too!" I meowed back eagerly. "I want us to make up."

"So you'll tell me what it is then?" he asked abruptly, and I pulled back slightly in surprise.

My tail drooped, and it felt like my heart suddenly fell down to my stomach.

_This wasn't where I thought this was going._

"Oh," I said, turning my eyes away from his face to stare down at the ground. "I, um, wasn't... That wasn't exactly what I meant…"

"…You weren't going to tell me?" Wolfshade meowed.

I glanced up at his face, and I saw his whiskers drooping.

"I thought we could just move pass this," I meowed, almost pleadingly. "It's just this one little thing! It's not important in the long run."

"Not important? Can't you see this is about more than just whatever Whisper told you about?" Wolfshade asked, raising his voice slightly in anger.

I flattened my ears.

"We're supposed to trust each other. We shouldn't keep secrets from each other," he said, his eyes flashing.

I felt a rush of anger in my chest, and I braced my paws against the ground.

"You say that, but you still never told me what was upsetting you! Can't you see that you're not being fair?" I flashed back, tensing my shoulders.

"I—I," Wolfshade said, struggling with the words. "I was having a problem, but I've gotten over it. What it was doesn't matter."

"Then why can't you tell me it?" I challenged.

"I'm not saying we have to know the complete and utter inner workings of each other's minds!" Wolfshade hissed, his eyes flashing. "Of course we are allowed to have our own thoughts! But, this is different than that..."

Wolfshade paused for a moment like he was struggling to explain himself.

"You lied to me about something," he meowed, his brow furrowed. "I know you feel bad about that, but you still won't tell me what it is. It makes me feel like you value other things, other cats over me... It's not that I'm saying you can't have friends or anything like that. It's just you're the most important cat in the Clan for me... but am I for you?"

I shook my head hard, the anger inside me fading away to be replaced by sadness.

"It's not like that," I insisted, staring at him. "You are important."

He gazed back, his eyes distressed.

"I want to believe you, but I don't know... How do I know something like this won't happen again?"

I opened my mouth, struggling to respond, and Wolfshade sighed heavily.

"We should be able to trust each other," he muttered. "What's a relationship without that? I know this is bothering you, and I want to help you... I don't understand why won't you let me..."

My stomach twisted.

Was it true? Did I not fully trust Wolfshade? Would I have brought him in on Whisper's secret if I did?

"Wolfshade, don't be like this," I rasped, flattening my ears. "Whisper's my friend. I can't betray her."

"She's your _friend,_ Lightningfire _._ And, that makes me your… what?" Wolfshade asked in a rumbling voice, bringing his eyes up to meet mine.

I blinked hard. I opened my jaws but no sound came out.

Wolfshade's tail dropped, and his ears flattened like there was suddenly a heavy weight on his back.

"Yeah. Come get me, when you can answer that question," Wolfshade meowed, his voice rough as he turned and walked away.

"Wait—no. I didn't mean—!" I meowed, scrambling after him.

Wolfshade didn't look back.

"Wolfshade!" I said.

He didn't turn. I took a few steps before coming to a stop, and I stood still as he strode away. Giving a frustrated hiss, I lashed my tail and dug my claws into the dirt.

_Fine. Be that way, mouse-brain._

"Lightningfire!"

I sullenly turned towards the sound of my name to see Leafstar padding over to me.

"I need you to help Creamclaw with changing the elder's bedding," she meowed.

"Are you serious?" I grumbled, lashing my tail.

"Yes. Our Clan doesn't have any apprentices right now," Leafstar meowed sharply at my tone, narrowing her eyes at me. "Are you all right? Why are you so upset?"

"Fine. And, I'm fine," I meowed, whipping around and bounding up to the elder's den before she could ask me anything else.

Creamclaw was alone in the den, since the elders were out enjoying the sunshine. She already pulling the old moss out of Tangle and Lichenfur's nests when I padded over to her side and started to help her. I scowled down at the moss, still caught up in a swirling cloud of turmoil after my argument with Wolfshade.

"I thought I finished having to do this moons ago," I complained.

I ripped the moss off the bottom of the den, taking a small amount of pleasure in the frustration the movement released.

"Well don't complain to me about it," Creamclaw mumbled around her mouthful of moss. "Complain to the queens. They're the ones that should have been having kits six moons ago!"

I snorted in amusement, pulled out of my dark cloud for a heartbeat.

We continued to work in silence for a while. The storm inside me quieted slowly as I tried to pushed Wolfshade out of my mind and focus on the task in front of me.

I padded out of the den with a mouthful of dirty moss, carrying it down into camp, when I caught a whiff of unfamiliar cat scent. My interest peaked, I turned my head and spotted a small, fluffy light grey tom padding into camp behind Ebonyclaw. His amber eyes were wide as he gazed around the camp and all of my clan-mates, and he moved closer to Ebonyclaw's side. I tilted my head, curiosity tugging at my fur. I dropped the dirty moss off outside of camp and went walking over to them.

"Hello," I meowed to the grey tom, giving Ebonyclaw a nod of greeting too.

"Hello," he meowed back shyly.

"My name is Lightningfire," I said. "Who are you?"

"His name is Sooty," Ebonyclaw answered for him. "He moved to the house next to me with his house-folk just a moon or so ago."

"Ebonyclaw has told me about you- I mean not you exactly," Sooty stammered quickly, eyes widening. "SkyClan, I mean."

A soft purr of amusement rumbled in my throat at the flustered young cat.

"He wants to train as an apprentice and be a daylight warrior," Ebonyclaw explained.

My ears perked up. It would be great to get more paws in the Clan.

_And, more apprentices, so no more moss duty for me..._

"That's great, Sooty!" I said to him.

"Thank you, I guess?" Sooty meowed with a soft purr.

"You'll fit right in," I reassured, before looking to Ebonyclaw. "Have you met with Leafstar?"

"I spoke to her about him already, but Sooty hasn't met her yet. I'm taking him to her now," Ebonyclaw meowed. "I'm sure she will like him though."

"She's your leader, right?" Sooty meowed, his expression a bit nervous.

"Yeah. And, my mother," I meowed.

"Your mother?" Sooty echoed, his eyes widening as he gazed at me, looking even more apprehensive.

"Don't worry," I said with a brief purr. "She's friendly."

I dropped my voice and leaned closer to him.

"It's the deputy, Sharpclaw, that you have to worry about," I whispered, flicking my tail to indicate the huge dark ginger tabby on the other side of the camp.

Sooty's eyes widened even more at the sight of Sharpclaw.

"Lightningfire, you're making him nervous!" Ebonyclaw scolded.

I purred.

"I'm sorry. I'm just teasing," I meowed, giving Sooty an apologetic blink. "I can take you to my mother. I think she's in the nursery with my little siblings."

I gestured with my tail for them to follow, then I padded over to the cliffside trail, climbing up to the nursery. I kept a close eye on Sooty on the trail. Despite his slightly nervous demeanor, his paws were confident on the side of the cliff. I slipped into the nursery, blinking as my eyes adjusted to the dim light.

_"Lightningfire!"_

I blinked as a bundle of five kits hurled themselves at me as I came inside, bouncing around my legs and throwing themselves at my sides.

"Hello kits," I purred, delicately stepping around them.

"Are you here to play with us?" Owlkit meowed, crouching down and baring her teeth at me in a tiny snarl. "I've gotten really strong!"

"Not as strong as me!" Adderkit proclaimed, whirling on Owlkit and leaping at her.

They started to scuffle on the moss covered floor.

"I actually have to speak with Leafstar," I meowed, but there was a purr in my voice.

"Will you play with us afterwards?" Rosekit chirped, rearing back on her hind-legs and pressing her forepaws to my shoulder.

"Maybe," I purred to her, as Sooty and Ebonyclaw came into the nursery behind me.

I lowed my voice as if I was conspiring with the kits.

"If Leafstar lets me..." I said in a loud whisper. "I'm supposed to be changing bedding right now."

However, I lost the kits' interest quickly when they noticed the newcomer.

"Who are you? I don't know your scent," Wrenkit meowed, tilting his head at Sooty.

"My name is Sooty," he said.

"That's funny. You're missing half of your name" Rosekit said, wrinkling her nose.

Sooty's brow furrowed in confusion at her comment.

"Are you from the two-leg place?" Ripplekit meowed in a soft, curious voice.

"Yeah," Sooty replied blinking down at him.

"Come in," Leafstar meowed from the back of the den, looking over at me, Sooty, and Ebonyclaw.

"And, you five come here," Cherrytail meowed to the kits, rising up from her nest. "Don't bother Leafstar while she's talking to Sooty."

"AW!" Owlkit complained. "But, why not? He's so weird!"

Cherrytail hushed her sharply as Ebonyclaw took the lead, and her Sooty and I padded into the back of the den.

"Hello, Leafstar. This is Sooty; the cat I was telling you about a few sunrises ago," Ebonyclaw meowed.

"Yes. I remember," Leafstar purred, blinking warmly at Sooty. "You would like to train to be a daylight warrior?"

"Yes," Sooty meowed, raising his chin bravely. "Ebonyclaw told me a lot. And, I- I want to be able to hunt and fight like you guys."

"How old are you?" Leafstar asked him.

"Eight moons," he replied.

"Apprentices begin training at six moons, so you have a bit of catching up to do... but I'm sure you'll be on track in no time," Leafstar meowed.

Sooty nodded, looking determined.

"Apprentices learn to hunt and fight, and they do chores around the camp. All the while learning about the warrior code," Leafstar continued. "Do you think you'll be able to dedicate yourself to SkyClan like that?"

Sooty's eyes were wide, as if he was starting to feel a tad overwhelmed, but he still nodded his head with certainty.

"Good," Leafstar meowed with a pleased nod. "You of course will still be able to go back to your house-folk during the nights."

I blinked at my mother's use of a kitty-pet word, and she then turned to me.

"Did you bring Sooty here with Ebonyclaw so you wouldn't have to change the elder's bedding?" Leafstar meowed, her voice firm, but her expression teasing.

I purred.

"That wasn't my intention..." I replied. "But, I wouldn't argue that changing moss would make a good first apprentice task for him."

Leafstar arched a brow at me.

"I think you should finish the chore that was assigned to you," she shot back. "Poor Sooty here hasn't even had his ceremony yet, and you're already off-loading tasks on to him.

I flattened my ears in mock disappointment.

"Speaking of the apprentice ceremony, I was wondering if maybe I could be his mentor," Ebonyclaw meowed, taking a step forward, and drawing Leafstar's attention back to her.

"You are still responsible for Tattered's training," Leafstar pointed out.

Ebonyclaw gave her head a small shake.

"They are adult cats. And, good hunters and fighters. I've already taught him the warrior code as best as I can. They don't need any more training," Ebonyclaw meowed.

"Perhaps it is time for me to speak to them about becoming full warriors then," Leafstar mused, half to herself. "Still, I would like to assign Sooty to another cat."

Ebonyclaw seemed a bit disappointed, but she dipped her head in acceptance to Leafstar.

"Tinycloud has been a warrior for a while and has not had an apprentice yet," Leafstar continued. "I think she'll be a good mentor for Sooty."

Leafstar turned back to Sooty.

"We'll have your apprentice ceremony in a little while," Leafstar said. "For now, have Ebonyclaw show you around camp and meet some of your new clan-mates."

"Thank you!" Sooty meowed, his eyes bright with excitement.

I turned with Sooty and Ebonyclaw, going to leave the den.

"Lightningfire," Leafstar meowed, and my ears pricked. "Stay here for a moment."

I turned back to her, my tail curled up in a questioning gesture. Leafstar titled her head, regarding me thoughtfully.

"Are you doing okay? You seemed pretty upset earlier," Leafstar asked.

My ears went flat against my head, and I felt a jab in my chest as my thoughts were drawn back to Wolfshade. The jab was then closely followed by a prickle of irritation at my mother's prodding.

"I'm fine," I said with a huff, my tail twitching.

"Alright," Leafstar meowed, but she didn't sound convinced at all.

My brow furrowed, and I turned and walked out of the den.

"Wait, aren't you going to play with us?" Rosekit meowed to my back once I got to the den's exit.

"Later," I promised, giving a tail wave of goodbye to the kits. "I have to finish changing some nests first."

I bounded down the trail and back into the camp, where I immediately spotted Wolfshade's dark pelt across the clearing, by the stream. I hesitated a moment. I knew I had to go back to the elders' den to finish helping Creamclaw, who was surely wondering where I went by now... But, I felt like I _had_ to try to talk to Wolfshade again. I needed him to understand my perspective...

My stomach clenched and my paws pricked with nervousness, but I took a deep breath and forced myself to pad over to him.

"Hey," I said softly.

His ears pricked, and he rotated one over towards me. He looked at me out of the corner of his eye, but didn't turn his head towards me.

"Have you seen Sooty?" I asked, gesturing with my tail towards the young cat, who was talking with Ebonyclaw, Bouncefire, and Plumwillow across camp. "He's going to start training soon. He wants to be a day-light warrior... I guess that solves our lack of apprentices problem."

Wolfshade continued to be quiet, and my stomach twisted with unease. I was silent for a moment, waiting to see if he would reply.

"Come on, Shade. Talk to me," I meowed plaintively to him.

"I've already said my part," he rumbled softly.

My ears rotated back.

"Why are you being like this?" I said, knowing I sounded like a petulant kit, but unable to stop myself.

"I could ask you the same thing," he meowed in a quiet voice.

"I've already told you why," I said, setting my jaw stubbornly. "Whisper asked me not to tell."

"And, I thought we wouldn't keep important things from each other," Wolfshade said.

I sighed, bowing my head.

"You aren't being fair..." I meowed softly to the ground. "I'm not trying to hurt your feelings. I'm just trying to help Whisper."

Wolfshade was quiet for a long moment.

"So, you want to know what had been bothering me, Lightningfire?" Wolfshade meowed finally in a low, flat voice.

I glanced up at him in surprise, but he was staring down at his paws.

"I'll tell you," he rumbled, his brow furrowed. "I like you, Lightningfire... I like you a lot, and it's scary."

My eyes widened, and he brought his gaze up from the ground to meet mine. I inhaled sharply at the hurt brimming in them.

"The closer we've gotten, the more scared I got. It's scary being like this, so _vulnerabl_ e," he said, a hint of a growl drifting into his voice. "Letting someone in. Giving them this power to hurt you."

My ears went flat against my head.

"I didn't— I've never meant to hurt you," I protested, my voice pleading. "I would _never_ want to."

Wolfshade shook his head, continuing as if I hadn't said anything.

"But, I spent a lot of time thinking about it, and I like you so much, I decided you're worth it. Worth the risk," Wolfshade muttered. "That's when I took you to the tree to watch the sunset. I wanted to share all of me and all the things I love with you. You're that special to me. But, now I'm worried that I'm not that special to you..."

"That's not true!" I said. "Please, listen to me, Wolfshade! I do like you a lot too!"

Wolfshade sighed, staring down at the ground again.

"I just need some space for a bit, Lightningfire. To think," Wolfshade meowed finally. "Please."

It felt like a rock had dropped into my stomach. My body from whiskers to tail-tip was cold in horror and shock that this was really happening. But, I managed to nod numbly. Then I got to my paws and walked away.


	30. The Patrol

"Let all cats old enough to catch their own prey, gather under Rockpile for a Clan meeting!" Leafstar yowled from her perch on the very top of Rockpile.

I turned to face Leafstar as cats bounded into camp and climbed down the cliffs from the dens. Rosekit and Wrenkit had been tumbling around in front of me, but they straightened without prompting, both turning to face our mother. I purred softly, gazing down at them with warmth. They both were getting so big. Brackenstorm padded over to us, purring a greeting to me, before sitting down by my younger siblings, taking over watching them.

My gaze drifted up, and I saw Sootypaw run over to his mentor, Tinycloud. He had only been training for a few days, but he already was fitting well into clan-life and he went about his apprentice duties with enthusiasm.

_Which means no more moss duty for me. Ever._

I twitched my whiskers happily, but I froze when my gaze found Wolfshade. He had just walked into camp, returning from a patrol with Petalnose, Creekfeather, Harveymoon, and Lionclaw. My stomach twisted at the sight of him, and I straightened sharply. His eyes flickered to mine for only a fraction of a heartbeat before he quickly looked away, instead padding over to the gathering group of cats to take a seat.

My my heart ached in anguish, and I found myself silently pleading with him.

_Please. Let me back in._

Wolfshade was never rude to me or cruel. But, he's been keeping a quiet distance between us and that seemed to hurt worse than any claws or sharp words could.

I sighed in frustration as I watched him pad away from me, searching for a place to sit in the crowd. I tensed up as I saw Minttail gazing over at him, and I noticed he was walked in her direction. A ferocious wave of jealousy rushed over me, startling me a bit with its intensity.

_He wouldn't._

To my relief, Wolfshade took a seat next to his brother, Bouncefire, and Plumwillow, not even casting Minttail a glance.

I let out a soft sigh of relief, feeling myself deflate a bit. Thankfully, I hadn't yet lost him completely.

"Today marks a very important occasion," Leafstar meowed, pulling me out of my thoughts.

I tore my eyes off of Wolfshade to look up at her.

"Tattered, Whisper, and Shiver have been living with us for a little more than four moons, and during that time, they've been great assets in hunting. They've practiced battle training, and they've learned the Warrior Code," Leafstar meowed. "They have proven that they are capable, loyal cats, who are willing and able to dedicate themselves to SkyClan. They have earned the title of warriors."

There were some murmurs from the cats around me.

"We still know next to nothing about them and their past," Nightstorm muttered from a few tail lengths to my left.

I turned my head to look at him sharply, silently reprimanding him. Nightstorm met my gaze, but he just shrugged at me in response. I huffed at him as Leafstar barreled along with the ceremony, not bothering to address the quiet murmurs of dissent.

"I, Leafstar, leader of SkyClan, call upon my warrior ancestors to look down on these cats. They have trained hard to understand the ways of your noble code, and I commend them to you as warriors in their turn," she meowed.

She looked down at Whisper, Shiver, and Tattered, who stood in the center of camp.

"Do you promise to uphold the warrior code and to protect and defend your Clan, even at the cost of your lives?" Leafstar asked.

"I do," Whisper replied.

"I do," Shiver and Tattered echoed.

"Then by the powers of StarClan, I give you your warrior names. Whisper, from this moment you will be known as Whisperheart. Shiver, from this moment you will be known as Iceshiver. Tattered, from this moment you will be known as Tatteredtail. StarClan honors your bravery and loyalty, and we welcome you as a full warriors of SkyClan," Leafstar meowed.

She bounded down from Rockpile and rested her muzzle on Whisperheart's head. Whisperheart licked her shoulder. Iceshiver and Tatteredtail did the same when Leafstar rested her muzzle on them.

"Whisperheart! Iceshiver! Tatteredtail!" I yowled, starting the cheer.

Many other cats joined in, but I noticed a few were silent. I glanced over a Nightstorm. He wasn't cheering until I narrowed my eyes at him, and he reluctantly raised his voice to join in.

As the cheering came to an end, I got to my paws to walk over to the new warriors, being one of the first to congratulate them. I pressed my pelt against Whisperheart, and she gave me her rasping purr in response.

"Congratulations guys," I purred to them. "You deserve it."

"Thanks," Tatteredtail rumbled in his classic deep, grumpy meow, but I could hear an edge of pride to it.

"Yeah. You've believed in us since the beginning," Iceshiver agreed, blinking at me happily.

"Thank you, Lightningfire," Whisperheart meowed, turning to look at me.

Our eyes met.

"For everything," she added softly.

I dipped my head to her, although I felt a twinge of regret that keeping her secret was coming at such a high price for me.

"I'm sure you all will make fine warriors," I said.

I turned and almost bumped into Wolfshade as he was walking over to congratulate the new warriors. Our eyes met and I saw his paw-steps falter.

"Wolfshade-" I said.

He closed his eyes for a moment, his brow furrowed. He sighed before he opened his eyes and continued to walk forward, brushing by me. I closed my eyes, my heart aching in my chest. I dug my claws into the ground. It was almost like I had lost the will to move at all.

But, I forced myself forward, tearing myself away from him. I padded out of the main crowd and spotted a group of cats to the side. I noticed Sagewhisker and Nightstorm among the cats in the group, so I padded over to them.

"Hey, Lightningfire" Sagewhisker greeted me.

His light green eyes brightening as he looked at me, but then his grey tabby brow furrowed when he saw my expression.

"Are you okay?" he meowed softly as I took a seat nearby him.

"Fine," I replied curtly, not making eye contact.

I turned to look at Nightstorm who was meowing to the group.

"Does everyone think that allowing the three of them to join SkyClan is a good idea?" Nightstorm was saying.

I scowled at him.

_Nightstorm keeps being hostile to them for no reason!_

"They've completed their training and seem like good cats. There is no reason not to make them warriors," Sparrowpelt replied before I could say anything.

I nodded in agreement with him.

"Well, I don't like it," Shrewtooth cut in.

He twitched his skinny tail and shot a nervous glance over his shoulder.

"Have you seen how ragged Tatteredtail's pelt is?" Shrewtooth meowed in a hushed tone. "He didn't get those scars by acting _like a good cat_."

"Leafstar says that SkyClan cannot survive alone. That we must welcome visitors and new clan-mates," Sagewhisker pointed out.

He looked around at the group of cats.

"Where would any of us be if SkyClan rejected us based on our origins?" Sagewhisker asked.

Nightstorm flicked his ear with the missing tip, and I saw a hint of annoyance creep across his face.

"I'm not suggesting that we turn away _everyone_ ," Nightstorm meowed.

He swept a sharp gaze over the cats around us, before resting his eyes on Sagewhisker.

"We just can't be _stupid_ about it. Shrewtooth had a point about Tatteredtail. What do we know about these cats' past? Where they're from? Anything at all?" Nightstorm asked, moving his gaze from Sagewhisker to look at everyone in the group. "They've never told us anything, beyond the fact that they lived on the fringes of our territory for some moons. Which is something that we of course already knew."

My stomach clenched, and I felt a twitch of guilt and worry in my chest.

I was the only cat here who knew the truth about that, but I remained silent as no cat spoke up to answer Nightstorm's question.

I knew Whisperheart viewed me as her closet friend in the Clan, which was why probably why she'd trusted only me with the information. Why Tatteredtail and Iceshiver hadn't told anyone in the Clan though, that I couldn't explain. Although, judging by Whisperheart's assessment of how terrified they were of their old home, maybe they just wanted to leave their past in their past.

_And, who can blame them for wanting to just forget about it? If they went through any sort of trauma there like Whisperheart did, it feels almost cruel to force them to relive it. If it had happened to me, I'd certainly never want to talk about it again._

"Nightstorm's got a point," Plumwillow muttered, pulling me from my thoughts.

"They've been helpful," Sparrowpelt argued. "And, cats should be judged based on their actions in the present, rather than the past."

"That seems awfully short-sighted, Sparrowpelt," Nightstorm meowed smoothly.

I tensed in surprise as Nightstorm so boldly addressed the senior warrior, and I shot my brother a sharp glare.

"I don't think that we can trust them," Nightstorm concluded with a tail twitch.

"Lightningfire," Clovertail meowed, turning to me. "You've spent a lot of time with them. What do you think?"

My pelt rippled with annoyance. I knew it wasn't about Clovertail's question exactly; it was more a result of the unpleasant slurry of emotions and stress swirling in me about Wolfshade with a dash of irritation at Nightstorm's antagonism to the former rogues thrown in. But, knowing that couldn't stop me from snapping at hapless Clovertail anyway.

"Isn't it obvious?" I said. "I think that Whisperheart, Tatteredtail, and Iceshiver are warriors of SkyClan now. And, everyone should accept that, and stop being a stupid mouse-brain about it!"

Clovertail blinked, startled as she gazed at me, her eyes wide. I cast my gaze to the ground, guilt immediately raking sharp claws down me that I had let my emotions get the better of me.

"I'm sorry," I murmured, my ears burning.

I got to my paws and padded away from the group, my head still bowed in shameful regret. Maybe if I went up to my nest and lied down for a while, it would help me clear my head.

"She's just a bit stressed right now," I heard Sagewhisker say in my defense to Clovertail from behind me.

My tail twitched, my annoyance reemerging at his comment.

_I don't need your help, Sagewhisker!_

"Lightningfire, can I talk to you?" Leafstar meowed, interrupting my brooding.

I froze, turning to look at her. I hadn't realized she was so close by. She cast a pointed glance at Clovertail before looking back to me. I bit back sigh before turning around and slowly padding over to her, my tail dragging in the dust.

"What's wrong?" Leafstar asked me bluntly.

I clenched my jaw, not replying.

"What's going on?" she insisted. "I've noticed that you and Wolfshade haven't been speaking much lately. What happened?"

My ears twisted back.

"Nothing," I muttered.

Leafstar arched a disbelieving brow at me.

"Nothing? Clovertail asked you one question, and you practically chewed her ears off!" she snapped, narrowing her eyes at me.

I twitched my tail.

"Why does it matter?" I grumbled. "Being grumpy isn't breaking the warrior code!"

Leafstar sighed.

"Lightningfire, I'm speaking to you as your mother, not as your leader," she meowed quietly. "I want to help you."

My shoulders sagged, and I felt my anger drain out of me.

"Your father and I definitely had our share of fights when we were younger," Leafstar continued, touching my shoulder with her tail-tip gently. "At one point, I didn't even think we could be mates. I thought having a family would distract from me leading our Clan... But, I was wrong, we made it through, and now we couldn't be happier. I know you really like Wolfshade. Don't throw away something great because of a silly argument. It may seem like a big deal now, but, trust me, it's so unimportant in the long run."

I was quiet, shuffling my paws in the dirt.

"And, you've got to remember that toms are dumb," Leafstar added with a small purr. "They can't help how mouse-brained they are some times."

I gave a soft snort of amusement, then I heaved a sigh, staring down at the ground.

"But, what if it's my fault?" I meowed quietly. "What if I'm the mouse-brained one?"

Leafstar shrugged.

"Then apologize," Leafstar meowed. "We all make mistakes."

I glanced back up at her.

"I've tried! I... I don't know if he'll forgive me," I said.

"Lightningfire," Leafstar said, giving me a look that was both stern and compassionate at the same time. "Just talk to him. Have an open and honest conversation."

My tail tip twitched uneasily.

"Don't let him slip away because of your stubbornness," Leafstar meowed.

I frowned.

"I'm not stubborn," I said, knowing fully well it was a lie.

Leafstar snorted.

"Good. Talk to him today then," she meowed.

My belly flipped with nerves at the suggestion.

"Well, I don't know... maybe not today…" I meowed sheepishly, searching for an excuse. "I mean... I just have stuff to do. And, I'm not sure if Wolfshade's in the best mood for it right now..."

Leafstar stared at me, and I could feel her gaze cutting clean through my body.

"Fine. Then I'll assign you a task," she said, her eyes flashing. "You're going on patrol. With Bouncefire. And Wolfshade."

I glared at her in exasperation.

"Mom!" I whined. "Don't meddle in my problems!"

Leafstar's eyes glinted as she rose to her paws and padded away from me.

"I don't know what you're talking about. I'm SkyClan's leader, and I'm just assigning a patrol," Leafstar meowed from over her shoulder. "I'll tell Bouncefire and Wolfshade. Leave at sun-high."

* * *

The three of us walked along in silence through a deep part of the forest, and my pelt prickled uncomfortably.

I was walking on one side of Bouncefire, and Wolfshade was on the other. I shot a glance over Bouncefire's ginger back at Wolfshade. He had his gaze fixed ahead. I turned my eyes back forward, staring straight ahead too. We continued to travel through the forest, the only sound the crunching of leaf litter under our paws.

"Well this isn't awkward at all," Bouncefire meowed finally, his voice dry.

My ears twisted back.

"I'm sorry my mother stuck you on this patrol to kit-sit us," I meowed with a forced purr.

Boucefire gave a good-natured shrug.

"Better me than Tinycloud," he said. "She would have already clawed both of your ears off by now for it."

I forced another purr in reply and shot another glance at Wolfshade. Wolfshade continued to stare ahead in silence. His jaw was set in a way that told me he was very unhappy about this interaction being forced upon him against his will.

_I wonder if he is mad at me... Or, mad at Leafstar for meddling. Or both._

I sighed. Either way, it just made things more difficult for me. My heart started to pound as I studied Wolfshade nervously out of the corner of my eye for a while longer.

_Why does this feel scarier than any battle I've ever fought?_

I took a deep breath, summoning my bravery, and then I dropped my pace back, coming behind Bouncefire to walk over to Wolfshade's other side.

"Hi," I meowed.

"Hi," he replied, his voice low.

_At least he's talking to me._

"I just want to say that I've been being a mouse-brain," I said, feeling the words spill out of me as if the simple 'hi' had broken a dam. "But, I mean, I also think you've kinda been being a mouse-brain too."

Wolfshade shot me a sharp look out of the corner of his eye, and I winced.

_Fox-dung! Think before you speak!_

"I didn't mean that, sorry," I meowed quickly. "No. That's a lie. I did! But, it's true! You are! Both of us were!"

I gave my head a vicious shake, my pelt burning with embarrassment at my stammering. I couldn't make myself meet Wolfshade's eye.

"I'm sorry; I'm not good at this," I meowed. "Talking about... stuff. I just want to say: I'm sorry. And, that I want to make it up to you. And, that I don't want to lose you. I really, _really_ don't want to lose you. I _do_ want to be with you. I'm so sorry."

Bouncefire had considerately moved over a couple of fox-lengths to make himself scarce as Wolfshade and I talked. Wolfshade turned to look at me finally. I searched his face a bit desperately. My heart eased some as I saw a thaw make its way across his expression. His eyes softened, and I even saw a spark of amusement appear in them.

"I'm curious to see where this rest of this apology goes, because I think you've already said 'I'm sorry' about a hundred times by now," he said drily with a quiet purr.

A soft purr began to grow in my throat as well.

"But, I am really sorry!" I muttered. "I should have never lied to you."

Wolfshade sighed.

"I'm sorry too. I think I've been being too hard on you," he murmured. "Or in your words 'being a mouse-brain...' I mean, it's not your secret really, right? It's Whisper's... It's not exactly your place to tell it."

I nodded, relief flooding me that he finally understood.

"I also really appreciate you opening up to me that last conversation we had," I added in a soft voice. "It was very brave of you to... But, I also shouldn't have thrown my insecurities in your face like that. So, I'm _also sorry_ I was being such a horrid badger-"

I was pulled out of the conversation as a strong scent drifted into my nose. I came to a stumbling stop, freezing as the fur on my back and shoulders bristled. I raised my head to the breeze, opening my jaws to catch the scent better.

A wave of icy fear crystallized in my veins as the heavy, putrid scent of badger rushed into my nose.

"B-Badger? Badger!" I said in a frantic growl, my gaze scouring the forest ahead.

Wolfshade suddenly stiffened beside me, unsheathing his claws

Bouncefire's green eyes widened as the scent hit him. Wolfshade took a step closer to me, opening his mouth to yowl something.

He was cut off when a bush shook violently, and a huge badger barreled over to us with a rumbling roar.

_Holy StarClan!_

My heart pounded in my chest as the three of us spilt up in different directions, scrambling aside. The badger chose to follow me. I shot a glance over my shoulder as I dashed away, and I saw it looming behind me, its beady, black eyes filled with anger.

"Run!" Bouncefire shouted, whirling around.

I was already dashing forward, but before I could sprint out of its reach, the badger lunged with surprising speed. Its massive jaws fastened around one of my forelegs. Searing pain shot up my leg as its teeth sunk deep into my flesh, scraping bone.

I shrieked in pain, twisting to claw at the badger's nose, and my cry screamed louder as with a lurch and a sickening pop, my shoulder was yanked out of its joint. Wolfshade was on the badger like a snarling lion, slashing his claws across its eyes, fury etched on to every line of his face. The badger dropped me in shock, recoiling from him. I stumbled to my feet and quickly backpedaled away from the badger.

The bushes rustled ominously again, and my blood ran cold with horror and dread as two other badgers appeared. They lumbered in to join the fight, circling us. I crouched down with a growl, trying to ignore my injured shoulder throbbing in pain. Bouncefire valiantly charged forward to meet a badger, a defiant snarl curling his lips. The third badger rushed to the first's aid, heading towards Wolfshade, who had his back to it, busy dealing with the other badger.

"Look out!" I cried in warning to him as I sprung on three legs into the badger's path.

I rose up on my hind legs, keeping my injured one close to my chest. I managed to swipe a solid blow with my good paw across the badger's face. My claws sliced through its skin, leaving a red trail of blood behind them. The badger roared and lunged, but I had anticipated the attack, and with the most power I could muster from my hind-legs, I dodged by springing up on top of the badger. I dug all four of my clawed feet into its course fur, even my dislocated leg, despite it howling in pain. I bit viciously at the back of the badger's neck, gagging on the oily hair. But, a jolt of brutal satisfaction ran through me when my teeth met flesh. The metallic taste of blood surged onto my tongue only for a moment, before with a shake of its powerful shoulders, the badger ripped my claws out of its fur and tossed me off of its back.

I twisted in the air, trying frantically to get my paws back under me, but I ended up landing heavily on my hurt leg. I let out another shriek at the aggressive stab of pain in my shoulder. I scrambled to my feet, but I drew my hurt leg closely to my chest with a whimper.

_I can barely move it now._

"Climb a tree!" Bouncefire screamed the order over the snarling as he fended off his badger.

I scrabbled out of the way as my badger sprung an attack at me again.

"I can't!" I gasped, my fur bristling out.

_Not with three legs._

A lull settled over the battle now. I had been separated from Wolfshade and Bouncefire. The two brothers were standing side to side, as the three badgers paced between us, dark eyes bright as they waited for the right opportunity to strike.

My brow furrowed in anguish. I knew we would get torn apart if we didn't run.

_They have to save themselves. I can distract the badgers long enough to let them get away._

_"Go!"_ I shouted to Bouncefire and Wolfshade.

My legs trembled with fear, but I braced my three good ones against the ground and held my chin high, knowing it was the right thing.

"I won't leave you!" Wolfshade said immediately.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him shoot me a burning look to emphasize his statement as he snarled at the badgers. My stomach sank as Bouncefire growled in agreement with him.

My ears pinned back at their noble idiocy. I wanted to glare at them, but I knew better than to move my gaze off the badgers pacing around us.

"So we all get torn apart instead of just me?" I spat furiously. "You mouse-brains! I don't want you dying for me."

"I'm not leaving my clan-mate alone," Bouncefire growled, his eyes narrowed.

"Good thing you don't have a choice then," Wolfshade snapped back at the same time.

Before I could say anything else, Wolfshade bared his teeth at a badger and crouched down in preparation to pounce back into battle.

"Lightningfire. I love you," Wolfshade said, his voice low and rough in his throat.

My gaze was ripped from the badgers, and I looked over to him.

"Wolfshade," I said, my eyes growing wide, a painful emotion tearing at my chest.

All at once, the battle exploded into life again.

Wolfshade's steel-green eyes were locked on the badger, and they narrowed in rage as he sprung at it with a renewed fury. He clawed up blood and fur as he drove it backwards with every massive blow, snarling.

Bouncefire was on the other badger's back, slashing and biting. The badger in front of me lunged forward, and I dodged back, my heart thumping in terror. I couldn't fend it off; the best I could do was to avoid its bites and try to get a quick blow in if I could manage it. As I danced around the badger, I saw behind it that the one Wolfshade was battling was being driven off. It was bleeding heavily, and half-blinded from a slash Wolfshade had scored through an eye. It turned tail and fled into the forest, evidently deciding this fight wasn't worth losing its other eye.

My attention shot back to the badger in front of me as its jaws snapped shut only a whisker's length away from my ears while I ducked. Suddenly, Wolfshade was at my side, slashing at the badger's face with his big paws, going for the eyes again.

The badger gave a roar of anger and shook its head, blood from its new cuts going flying. Both of its eyes were still intact though, and they narrowed in rage at it stared at Wolfshade. Then, over Wolfshade's shoulder, a flash of motion caught my attention. The other badger had lunged at Bouncefire and secured its fangs around the ginger cat's neck.

My heart dropped into my stomach.

 _"Bouncefire!"_ I yowled.

Wolfshade was too busy with the other badger to help, so I bounded over to Bouncefire as fast as I could with my throbbing injuries.

The badger shook him like a mouse. I watched his green eyes widen as he flopped limply in the beast's jaws, claws feebly scraping at its black-and-white muzzle. I leapt at the badger, sinking my teeth deeply into its exposed throat, latching on to its shoulder with three paws. Under my jaws, I could feel its pulsing heartbeat beneath its neck fur. My vision went red with anger as I clamped down. Hard.

I blinked, my vision coming back into focus as Wolfshade appeared. He had abandoned his attack on the other badger to help me free Bouncefire. He mirrored my attack, biting down onto the badger's throat, tearing out chunks of flesh. With two cats clinging to its neck, the badger was finally forced to open its jaws, dropping Bouncefire and gasping for air as we cut off its windpipe and sliced deeply into the live-giving pulse that pounded beneath my fangs. The badger stumbled backwards, but I still clung on tightly as blood flowed like a river from its neck, around my jaws, and down its front paws to pool on the ground.

Then sudden, awful, agonizing pain ripped down the length of my spine.

The force of the blow tore me from my grip on the badger's neck, throwing me to the ground. I writhed in the dirt, burning pain where the other badger had scored its claws across my back. It had come to help its brethren. I tried to scramble back to my paws, but my injuries made me too slow and the badger kicked me carelessly away, making a solid connection to my ribs. My breath hissed from my mouth, driven out of my lungs from the force of the blow and the sound of a _crack_ from my ribs. I felt a stab of excruciating pain radiate from my chest, screaming in chorus with the pain from my leg and back.

But, the sensation of pain was quickly eclipsed by panic.

_I can't breathe!_

My paws scrabbled on the ground as I helplessly gasped for breath. I tried to haul myself to my feet, but didn't have the strength without air. I stared, terrified, at the badger for what felt like days, but couldn't have been longer than a heartbeat. Its beady black eyes shone emptily into mine.

_I'm going to die._

The thought pounded in me with absolute certainty.

But, the badger turned away. Instead of coming to kill me, it strode over to Wolfshade. I could see that he was still so focused on subduing the first badger, he hadn't noticed the second one's attack on me. It had all happened only in the span of moments, although it seemed like ages because of how quickly the winds had shifted out of our favor.

The badger stepped nonchalantly over Bouncefire, who was lying brokenly on the ground, his ginger fur darkening with the crimson of blood. Its black, unfeeling eyes were locked on Wolfshade.

I tried to cry a warning to Wolfshade. Say his name. Anything. The only thing that came from my mouth was a wheeze. Time seemed to slow as I watched it happen.

The badger pulled its foreleg back.

_No._

Cold fear froze my muscles solid. Panic, icy and chaotic, twisted my insides into knots, clawing and ripping at my chest and my throat. My paws clawed for purchase on the ground weakly as I tried to pull myself to my feet, all the while trying to take a breath.

Wolfshade had just enough time to glance up and for his green eyes to widen in surprise when the huge paw came crashing down, slashing across his face. Blood splattered in an arc as Wolfshade flew from the badger. He landed on his back and a half a heartbeat later, his head followed his shoulders to the earth. His eyes shut as blood darkened his face into a red mask.

The badger with the torn throat collapsed to the ground, eyes closing as its massive pool of blood widened. The standing badger roughly nosed the collapsed one, but it did not respond. The badger let out a long, low growl as it seemed to realize its companion was dead or too far gone to be saved. Slowly, the badger turned to Wolfshade, seemingly intent on finishing him off.

_Wolfshade!_

My vision flickered with darkness from lack of air.

The badger lumbered over to him. It was in no rush now, knowing it had won.

The darkness crept closer, blotting out my peripheral vision.

It was tugging on me like a strong river current. I was about to fall into it.

_I have to…_

My eyesight flickered, and my other senses began to fail me as well, even as my heart still screamed at me to fight. To do _something!_

The darkness was about to overwhelm me when suddenly a figure appeared in front of me, his grey and white pelt glittering. He glared at me with pale blue eyes that were as harsh and bright as stars.

"This is not where you're destined to die," the cat snarled. "Strike back!"

He vanished as quickly as he came, but suddenly, sweet, sweet air rushed into my lungs. I gave a hoarse gasp as my vision cleared, the dark cloudiness around me violently driven away as if by a powerful wind. My senses came rushing back as strength returned to my bruised and broken body.

In a painful rush, the petrifying ice in my muscles became blazing fire. I rose to my paws, claws unsheathing as a snarl growled from my throat to echo the grey-and-white cat's.

The badger whipped around at the sound of my challenge. Ruthlessly blocking out all sensations of pain, I charged at it.

I sprung at the badger's face. It opened its jaws to snap at me, but I leapt higher than them, landing on the top of its head. I clung to its forehead with my front claws. Pumping my back legs, I slashed them downwards, raking my claws over its face and eyes over and over again, while stretching my neck over to clamp my fangs into one of its small ears. I yanked my head to the side, nearly tearing the whole thing off of its head.

I could feel my injuries protesting at every movement, but only mutely. Some part of me knew that I was only making them worse by ignoring them, but I barely noticed the pain under the fire that burned in my blood, fueling my attacks.

The badger bellowed with pain and lifted a paw to swat at me. Rather than facing the blow, I dropped to the ground, the paw flying harmlessly over me. Then I leapt at the badger, attacking one side, then springing back. I did it again and again, randomly changing sides to confuse it. The badger whipped its head back and forth, trying to keep up with me. It started to pant, frustration, confusion, and a bit of fear shining in its eyes.

"Get out of here!" I snarled, slashing at its side again.

I knew it didn't understand me, but still it slowly took a step back.

 _"Leave!"_ I yowled, springing forward, spitting furiously and bristling out all of my fur to make myself appear as threatening as I could manage.

The badger stumbled backwards, tripping over its own paws, then turned and finally fled into the trees. Panting, I stood still for a heartbeat, legs shaking as sudden silence crashed over the forest.

My eyelids fluttered and my head drooped. The energy that had fueled my final desperate fight faded, leaving nothing left in me. I swayed on my paws. It felt like I was a heartbeat away from collapsing to the ground.

_Wolfshade._

My eyes snapped back open, icy fear crystallizing in my veins.

That thought gave me the strength to turn, and I limped over to him as quickly as I could.

_Oh, StarClan. Please be okay. Please. Please._

He was still passed out, blood still oozing from his face, but my legs almost buckled from relief when I saw his flanks rising and falling. He was breathing.

He was alive.

I nuzzled his side, closing my eyes and silently thanking StarClan repeatedly. A picture of the grey and white cat flashed in my mind for a moment, stilling me. I thanked that warrior specifically before I shook the thought off. I didn't have time to dwell on that now.

I had to try to help.

Or get help...

Or something?

I shook my head, trying desperately to focus my woozy thoughts. My mind was off balance and confused, like I had made myself sick by eating a bunch of different kinds of Echosong's herbs.

_Herbs. That's what I need right? Herbs would help them. What herbs though?_

I glanced over at Wolfshade again. He had been bleeding heavily before, although it was slower now. The left half of his face was entirely caked in blood.

_He'll be okay. He'll be okay._

I repeated the thought to myself, trying to make myself believe it was true. I took a deep breath, my paws still trembling.

_…Although I can't tell how much of that half of his face he has left._

I blinked.

_What about Bouncefire?_

Tearing myself from Wolfshade, I limped quickly over to him, skittering around the dead badger. Almost all of Bouncefire's pelt was stained a darker shade of red from blood. At first, I could detect no movement from his flanks, but as I stood over him, cold dread rushing through me, his eyes weakly flickered open. Sharp relief stabbed through the dread, but it was muted when I noticed blood was still trickling from deep puncture wounds in his throat.

_I have to stop the bleeding. What does Echosong use for that? Cobwebs? There's no time._

I quickly began gathering up nearby leaves.

"Lightningfire," Bouncefire gasped laboriously, blood bubbling from the wounds in his neck.

"Thank StarClan you're awake," I said with a gulp, pressing the leaves I snatched up to his throat with my good paw, desperately trying to stem the flow of blood. "Don't try to talk. Save your strength."

"W—Wolfshade?" Bouncefire gasped, ignoring me.

"He's alive, but hurt. He'll be fine. You both will be," I insisted, some part of me, deep down, knowing I was lying.

Bouncefire looked at me, the truth shining in his clear green gaze.

"H—he— needs— you—" Bouncefire panted, blood trickling out of his mouth as he forced out each word. "Don't waste— time with— me— too late— save him— instead—"

_Don't talk like that!_

"Shh... Bouncefire," I whispered, reaching a paw out to cradle his face, trying to bring him some sort of comfort.

His gaze unfocused, and he looked over my shoulder.

"R—Rainfur?" he gasped.

I flashed a glance over my shoulder, but I saw no trace of the grey dappled warrior that died in the battle with the rats long before I was born.

"Yes— I'm ready," Bouncefire panted, turning his eyes back to mine one last time.

His throat bobbed as he struggled to swallow, his words growing even more faint.

"Tell my brother— I'm sorry— we couldn't... escape this one together," Bouncefire whispered, and the spark faded from his bright green gaze.

I pressed my paws to his neck a bit harder for just a heartbeat.

 _"Bouncefire!"_ I meowed.

He didn't stir.

I dropped my paws from his neck.

_There's nothing left for me to do._

I bent my head over him, grief washing over me. It felt like it would be so easy to give into it. I could just lie down here next to Bouncefire, let my wounds overwhelm me, and drift off into a deep dark sleep to hide from the agony.

_No. I need to get up._

I clenched my jaw in determination, digging my claws into the ground.

_I have to save Wolfshade. I can't let him die... I love him._


	31. The Aftermath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My apologies to anyone who has been waiting to read more of this story! Unfortunately life got busy for me, so I had to put editing this on hold so I still had time to work on writing my newer Warriors fic, "Frosted Heart." I've been slowly working my way through edits, however, so I now have some chapters that I can post here for you all!

The last of the fire that had filled me with strength after the appearance of the StarClan warrior had been extinguished, and the pain was coming back at full force.

I ground my teeth against it. The worst at the moment was my dislocated leg. The muscles around the joint were knotted up and crying out in terrible agony.

I would hardly be able to stumble around with it in this state, let alone try to put any weight on the leg at all. I glanced down at my paw, my jaw set grimly. I knew before I did anything else, I had to try to get it back into place. And, quickly before the muscles stiffened up completely into immovable boulders.

I sat down and gingerly secured my jaws around my foreleg. Taking a slow breath in through my nose, I screwed my eyes shut for a moment to brace myself. I gripped my leg with my mouth, hissing as I felt my own fangs digging into my flesh. Then before I could even allow myself to think about it, I yanked my head downwards.

The shrill shriek tearing out of my throat was muffled by my leg in my mouth. My leg lurched and searing fire coiled around my shoulder joint, but the limb didn't go back into its place.

My breaths came in and out in short panicked pants, and the world flickered in and out of focus around me from pain.

The wound was aggravated even more now, and the agony was overwhelming. I dug the claws of my good legs into the ground.

I couldn't do it.

I should give up.

I could stay like this. Walking on three legs forever wasn't that bad.

_No._

I exhaled sharply through my nose and tried to wrangle my cloudy and frantic thoughts back under control.

_Pain is just a message. And, I don't need to listen to it right now._

I closed my eyes, quietly focusing my thoughts on my body, and I mentally severed my mind from my leg.

The thing in my mouth wasn't my own. It wasn't my leg. It was just something that I needed to pull, and I needed to pull it _really hard._

A whimper whined in the back of my throat as my body rebelled against my thoughts, not buying it. But, I yanked my head down again before I lost my nerve. There was a jerk and a pop, and I gasped as I felt the joint slid back into place.

I slowly flicked my eyes back open. I stared down at the thing... _my leg,_ still in my mouth. I carefully opened my jaws to release it, tasting the salt on my own blood on my tongue. There were new puncture wounds in my leg from my fangs, but the pain that had been screaming in my shoulder had faded to a deep and throbbing, but manageable, ache.

_Check the rest of the wounds._

I moved stiffly, unthinkingly, as I followed the orders of my instincts. Now that the severe pain was gone, I could feel myself fading as exhaustion overwhelmed me, but the deep, wild part of myself which valued survival above all else kept me going. I assessed my back. The wound was long but mostly shallow.

_No organs are injured. I'm not going to bleed out._

I rasped my tongued down it a few times, wincing at the taste of blood, but decided to leave it as it was. It was my chest that pained me the worst now. Every breath was an ache and every jolt of my ribs a jab of agony. I stared down at the chest, but could detect no visible wounds. Something had been injured on the inside.

_Nothing I can do about that right now._

Now I had to focus on Wolfshade. I blinked, trying to find the strength to do so. Stiffly, I rose to my paws. I scraped up some nearby leaf-litter and hobbled over to him. I held my breath in fear as I approached him, and only released it when I saw his flanks were still rising and falling with life.

I pressed the leaves to his face, trying to stop the bleeding and wishing for cobwebs instead.

_What if the badgers come back?_

The thought raised the hairs on the back of my neck.

I shot several nervous glances over my shoulder as I held a paw to his face. If the badgers returned to finish the fight, we'd be killed. I barely had the energy left to stand. I couldn't manage another fight.

_We're prey. Being hunted in our own territory._

I looked back down at Wolfshade, my stomach twisting nauseatingly.

Any patrols in the area would pick up the scent of blood and rush to help us, but could we afford to wait for them? The badgers could come back at any moment, and Wolfshade's bleeding was barely slowing. His life hung in the balance of every passing moment.

I dug my claws into the ground for a heartbeat, drawing on all the rest of my strength as I readied myself for what I had to do.

I hunched down, nosing my way under Wolfshade's heavy form. My injuries all throbbed sharply in protest as I draped him across my back and straightened, knees shaking from his weight.

I swayed, and for a moment my heart hammered, terrified that I would collapse, but I miraculously found my balance.

I exhaled slowly, clenching my jaw in determination.

_I've got this._

I focused on clenching my fangs together to block out the pain and exhaustion that pounded through me. The blood from the cut on my back stained Wolfshade's grey fur and his tail dragged in the dirt, but I slowly took one staggering step in the direction of the camp. Then another. Then another.

The slice down my back bled heavier and hurt more from Wolfshade's body pushing against it. My chest and leg cried at the extra weight. Blood from Wolfshade's face dripped down into my eyes, making me wince and blink rapidly, but I continued to walk. Staggering, I stumbled through the underbrush.

My eyes glazed with pain and exhaustion as my chest heaved in pants.

It felt like I had been stumbling forward for moons. I had no idea how far I'd walked. It could have been only for one heartbeat or for a half of a day.

I couldn't remember. Couldn't spend the energy thinking about it. The only thing I could think about was taking one step. Just one step more, then I'd stop. Each step was just one step more.

_Keep going. Keep going._

My chin bobbed down towards my chest since I no longer had the energy to lift my head, and my whole body trembled, but my ears pricked when I heard a voice cry out from the distance.

"I smell blood!"

"I'm here!" I said, a desperate gasp with the last of my strength. "Help!"

With that, my legs collapsed out from under me, as if my body had taken it upon itself to decide it could give up now that we'd found some of my clan-mates. I whined as my injured chest struck the ground, closely followed by my chin. Wolfshade's weight pressed down on me like a boulder, but I managed to twist my neck back to check on him. I sighed in relief as I felt his breath hit my whiskers.

My eyes grew half-lidded as suffocating exhaustion tugged at me like a dark current, but I roused at the sound of shaking undergrowth.

Plumwillow, Egg, and Waspwhisker, and Harveymoon came shooting out of the bushes.

"What happened?" Egg meowed with horrified gasp, immediately bending over to help relieve me of Wolfshade's weight.

"Badgers." My voice shook with urgency and relief. "Wolfshade needs Echosong. Now."

"Harveymoon, go back to camp and tell Echosong that we're coming," Waspwhisker ordered quickly as he helped Egg take Wolfshade, carrying the large tom between them.

Harveymoon nodded, his eyes wide, then turned tail, running off through the trees. My legs shuddered as I forced them back under me. Plumwillow gently nudged my shoulder with her muzzle, helping me to my paws before giving me her shoulder to lean on as we followed after Waspwhisker and Egg.

"The badgers ambushed us," I rasped between pants of exhaustion. "Bouncefire's still back there. He's dead."

I saw shock and dismay appeared on their faces. Plumwillow let out a yowl of pain, and the two of us nearly fell over as she lost her balance. She managed to catch herself just before we tumbled to the ground, but grief still masked her face.

I blinked as I remembered with a jolt that Plumwillow and Bouncefire were very close.

_She just lost her mate._

I flattened my ears against my head, guilt stabbing me. I should've been more tactful with telling her. My expression crinkled up, and I had to look away from the pain on her face.

_I'm sorry._

I turned my eyes towards Wolfshade's limp form.

_But, StarClan, don't take Wolfshade too._

I closed my eyes swallowing around a huge lump in my throat.

 **_Please._** _I need him._

As soon as we stumbled into camp, Echosong was there to meet us, rushing over to Wolfshade with cobwebs clenched in her jaws.

"Lightningfire!" Leafstar cried, running across the camp in huge loping strides. "Haveymoon told us there was a badger attack."

Brackenstorm was right on her tail, his fur bristling with fear, and Nightstorm was there too, running to me with wide eyes.

I felt a jolt when I saw Nightstorm's face. I've never seen him look so afraid before.

Leafstar stood in front of me, her face frantic as she looked me all over.

"Where are you hurt?" she asked, her pelt bushed like a pinecone out as she gazed at me.

I realized that my pelt was coated in blood. Some mine, some Wolfshade's, some Bouncefire's, and some the badgers'.

"Please. Move," I rasped to her. "Is Wolfshade still breathing?"

I managed to push off of Plumwillow's shoulder, taking a few teetering, staggering steps forward. Echosong was already pushing the cobwebs on Wolfshade's face before he could even be brought into her den. She was hopping on three legs, one paw on his face to press the cobwebs against the wound, and barking uncharacteristically gruff orders to the cats around her, telling Sootypaw to make a nest for Wolfshade.

"Is he alive? Will he be alright?" I gasped to Echosong.

"He's alive, but he's lost a lot of blood," she meowed grimly, then didn't say anything else.

I staggered backwards onto my haunches, like her words were a physical blow. Leafstar came to my side, and I leaned gratefully against my mother's shoulder.

Echosong gave me a quick once over look.

"You're still standing, so I'll get to you later," she meowed.

"Great StarClan! Wolfshade!" Minttail cried, spotting him as she came into camp.

She tore over to him, frantically circling around him, Echosong, and his carriers.

"Give me some space," Echosong snapped impatiently at Minttail.

Minttail backed up, but she still stared, horrified, as they vanished into the medicine cat den.

I itched to follow them in, to watch over Wolfshade. But, I didn't also want to crowd Echosong. Thankfully, I only had to wait a few heartbeats before Egg and Waspwhisker came out of the den, opening up room.

"Can you help me inside?" I meowed to my mom.

I wasn't sure that I could stay on my paws for much longer.

"Of course," Leafstar said.

I leaned heavily on her side as I rose back to my feet and staggered slowly into the medicine cat's den. Brackenstorm followed, pacing to and fro anxiously behind me. Inside, Echosong was crouched over Wolfshade, who lay in a nest.

"The bleeding's stopping," Echosong meowed, without looking up.

Very painfully, I sat down in the other empty nest. Leafstar stayed at my side, not taking her eyes off of me, like she was afraid I would collapse at any moment.

_Which, I suppose is completely possible._

"Lightningfire, I need you to tell me what happened," Leafstar meowed softly to me.

I blinked.

"Badgers. Three of them," I meowed hollowly, feeling strangely detached. "They ambushed us in the eastern woods. Bouncefire's dead."

"Get Sharpclaw to send a large patrol to track the badgers and retrieve Bouncefire's body. If they find the badgers, they are not to engage," Leafstar meowed quickly to Brackenstorm.

My father gave a sharp nod, gently touched my ear with his nose, then dashed out of the den.

"Leafstar, help Lightningfire groom the blood out of her fur. I need her cuts clean, and I need to see where her wounds are," Echosong meowed, still busy with Wolfshade.

Echosong was already doing the same to Wolfshade, cleaning the fur on his face gently.

"I have a bad slash on my back," I meowed quietly, keeping my gaze on Wolfshade.

Leafstar got to work cleaning my shoulders while I watched Wolfshade. As Echosong cleaned away the blood, the extent of his injuries were slowly revealed. There were four big gashes running sidewise across the left side of his face, two on his cheek and two above his eye. He was missing big chunks of fur, and the area around the gashes had swollen up so badly that I couldn't make out his left eye. His left ear used to only have a nick in the bottom, but now half of it was torn off, taken off by the same blow that mauled his face.

I whimpered quietly at the sight of him, wanting to run to him and curl myself around him. I hardly felt my mother's tongue on my pelt. I hardly felt anything at all, expect for a whirling anxiety inside for Wolfshade. It clawed at my chest, swirling and rumbling like a thunderstorm. I stiffly lowered myself to the ground, watching Wolfshade the whole while.

_I would give anything to go back to yesterday._

I closed my eyes for a moment, overwhelmed.

When I opened them again, Echosong had pulled some herbs from her storage, and she was chewing them up. She pressed them to Wolfshade's face, caking the injured half in a sort of herb-mask. She dabbed some on his ear, then gave the rest of his body a quick look over. Wolfshade seemed to have no other injuries besides some swallow scratches. I glanced over at Echosong as she rose to her paws as if to head over to me, but then she stopped suddenly.

 _"Fox-dung,"_ Echosong swore loudly, causing my head to jerk up in alarm. "Wolfshade's seizing. Leafstar, come here, help me hold him!"

Leafstar leapt to her paws, rushing away from me to Echosong's side. A part of me wanted to run to him too, but the other part of me was frozen by dread. I stared, my stomach clenching in horror as I watched Wolfshade's body buckling against his nest, frothy saliva collecting in the corners of his lips. Echosong gently, but firmly held Wolfshade's head steady with her paws to keep it from banging against the ground while she ordered Leafstar to hold down his flanks.

After only a few heartbeats, it was over and Wolfshade was still again, but my heart still hammered in my chest and the metallic taste of fear lingered on my tongue.

"What's wrong with him?" I demanded, my tone shrill with panic.

"There's swelling around his ears," Echosong murmured in a low voice, not answering me. "Lightningfire, did you see if he had a head injury?"

I blinked.

"Yes, one of the badgers threw him to the ground, and he hit his head," I meowed.

My claws slid out and I dug them into the nest under me.

"What does that mean?" I asked. "I know head injuries are bad. Did he crack his skull?"

Echosong glanced at me, and my stomach twisted at the look of sadness in her eyes. But, she still didn't answer me, only reaching a paw out to smooth down Wolfshade's fur, which had been rumpled from his seizure. He still was passed out cold.

Echosong rose to back to her paws, padding over to me with herbs in her mouth.

"Let's fix that cut up first," Echosong meowed briskly around the leaves.

I nodded, listless. She worked quickly and in silence, chewing up the herbs and coating the long wound that snaked from my shoulders to the base of my tail. Leafstar lingered in the den, but she remained next to Wolfshade, like she was watching over him in case he began seizing again.

I didn't even twitch at the sting of the herb juices on the cut. I felt like my mind was lost in a fog far from my body.

"Where else are you hurt?" Echosong said, pulling some of my attention back to her.

I extended my foreleg.

"I was bit here," I murmured. "The wounds are small, but deep."

Echosong gave the bite marks a good lick to clean them out before dabbing some herbs on them too.

"We'll need to keep an eye on those to make sure they don't get infected," Echosong said.

I nodded.

"And, my chest hurts," I meowed.

"Your chest?" Echosong asked with a furrowed brow.

"Yeah. Really bad. A badger threw me to the ground too," I said.

I reached a paw up and lightly touched it to my chest. Echosong padded over to examine my chest. She buried an ear in my fur, listening carefully. Then she pulled her head back and ran a light paw over my chest.

"Tell me when it hurts," Echosong said.

She applied a light bit of pressure.

I let out a hiss of pain and recoiled.

"I think you cracked a rib. Maybe two," she meowed, pulling her paw away. "There is nothing I can do for that, besides give you something for the pain and wait for it to heal."

"My poor kit," Leafstar murmured, her eyes full of concern as she gazed at me.

I slowly turned my eyes back to Echosong.

"What's wrong with Wolfshade?" I repeated.

But, this time my voice wasn't panicked or demanding. Just horribly and utterly tired. Dread and weariness weighed it down.

Echosong's clear blue eyes met mine for a moment, before she looked away from me as if she couldn't make herself hold my gaze.

"You are injured too," Echosong murmured. "It doesn't make sense to tell you things which will only upset you when you need to heal."

The dread inside me grew, crystalizing into icy shards in my veins.

"But, I need to know," I said in a hoarse whisper. "Is he going to die?"

Echosong looked over at me again.

"I don't know," she admitted. "But, it's not good, Lightningfire. He's lost a lot of blood, but besides that... I think he's sustained a brain injury. The unconsciousness and seizures line up with that."

I was numb. Like there was nothing inside me but the roar of the wind in my head. Echosong gently lay her tail over my shoulders, being careful not to aggravate my cut.

"You should prepare yourself for the worse," she murmured.

Echosong lifted her tail away, and Leafstar padded over to me. My mother gently rasped her tongue over my head, and I flinched at it. It was just too much. The gentle touch felt like the stab of a claw. Leafstar peered down at me worriedly.

"Lightningfire needs to rest," Echosong meowed softly to my mother.

The worry didn't disappear from Leafstar's face, but she gave a small nod and straightened.

"Let me know if you need anything. Or, if she needs me," Leafstar meowed to Echosong as if I wasn't there, before turning and padding out of the den.

"Let me get you something to take away your pain and help you sleep," Echosong murmured once Leafstar had left the cave.

She walked over to her herb storage.

"I don't want to sleep," I rasped to her back. "What if Wolfshade get worse while I sleep?"

Echosong came hopping back on three paws. She extended the one she held off the ground towards me, and I saw two tiny black poppy seeds stuck to her pad.

"You need to rest to heal," she said. "There's nothing more that you can do for him now."

I blinked hard, not wanting to accept that truth. Echosong's eyes were soft with sympathy as she gazed at me, but her outstretched paws was unwavering.

I glanced over at Wolfshade. My chest ached terribly as I looked at him, and not just from my wounds.

"You'll wake me up if you need to, right?" I rasped. "If he's... if I need to say goodbye?"

"Of course," Echosong murmured quietly.

I gazed at him for a long moment longer, but finally I gave a nod. I lapped up the seeds from her paw before lowering my head down to the nest. It wasn't long before I felt a fog descending over me. Wolfshade's ruffled smoke-grey pelt was the last thing I saw before my eyelids drooped, and I fell into an uneasy sleep.

* * *

"Wolfshade," I croaked, eyes flickering open as I drifted out of my hazy, dreamless sleep.

I started to stumble to my paws, and I felt a sharp jab on pain in my chest and down my back at the movement.

"Easy there," Echosong meowed.

She put a white paw on my back and gently lowered me back into the nest. I didn't resist, but I continued to gaze around the den in confusion, my thoughts clouded from the poppy seeds.

"Wolfshade?" I asked again, looking around.

I stilled when my eyes rested on his grey form, lying in a nest across the den from me.

"He's here," Echosong meowed. "He hasn't woken up yet, but his breathing and heart rates are stable. That's good news, Lightningfire."

I let out a huge sigh, which made my chest ache angrily, and I lowered my chin to rest it on my paws so I could keep Wolfshade in my line of sight.

"But, the real test will be if he makes it through the night," Echosong said. "I'm hopeful that he will."

I nodded numbly.

Echosong glanced towards the entrance of the den and the darkening sky outside.

"The vigil for Bouncefire is about to begin," Echosong murmured.

My head lifted from my nest, my stomach twisting at the thought.

"I should go to him," I mumbled, stumbling to my feet and gasping as my chest cried out in agony at the movement.

Echosong moved to block me, her blue gaze firm.

"No. You need to recover. Bouncefire would understand," she said.

I gazed at her helplessly. Only this morning I could have dashed around her without a problem if I really wanted to leave, but now her standing at the entrance to the den was as effective as if a monster itself was inside of the cave, blocking my way.

"Please," I begged. "He... He shouldn't be dead. It's _my fault_ that he's dead. If I hadn't been arguing with Wolfshade, Leafstar would've never sent me on that patrol..."

I gulped, bowing my head as pain and grief marred my face.

"I need to at least say I'm sorry and tell him goodbye," I whispered to the ground.

Echosong sighed quietly, then I felt her fur brush my side reassuringly as she came over to me.

"No one could've predicted that badgers would be there. It's not your fault, Lightningfire," she murmured.

I turned my face away, still refusing to look at her.

"It still feels like it," I rasped.

Echosong was silent for a moment.

"Alright," she meowed. "You can go out and pay your respects to him, but I cannot allow you to hold vigil all night."

"I understand," I replied in a hoarse voice.

"Do you need me to help you out?" she asked.

I shook my head, slowly raising my chin and finally glancing at her out of the corner of my eye.

"No. You should stay to make sure Wolfshade is alright," I murmured.

Echosong nodded.

Walking as stiffly as an elder, I staggered out of the medicine cat's den and into the camp. The whole clan was already down in camp and assembled in a loose circle around Bouncefire's body. At the sound of my awkward gait, every cats' heads turned to look at me. They stared, taking in each scratch on my pelt, the pained way I took in every breath, the stiff way I held my front right leg, and the cut that stretched from my shoulder to base of my tail. I ducked my head as I limped closer, feeling my chest tighten as cats began to whisper.

All voices were rough with grief, but some also had an undercurrent of awe at how our three-cat patrol had managed to kill a badger. While others were hot with accusation and anger.

"What happened," Clovertail demanded, pulling my gaze back upwards.

She stumbled over to me from where she had crouched by her son's body, her eyes dull with grief. Tinycloud glared at me from behind her mother, her eyes angry as if she blamed me for one of her brother's death and the other's maiming.

I felt my stomach twist, and I pulled my gaze away from her, unable to keep eye-contact. I stopped walking, standing in the center of the camp and preparing to take the full force of their judgement on me.

"The three of us were on patrol," I began in a rasping voice. "While still deep in our territory, I scented badger. Then they came out of nowhere. There were three badges, all full size."

My voice cracked. I took a moment to swallow, trying not to break down.

"It all happened so quickly," I whispered hoarsely. "No time to run away. We were each battling a badger, but there was only three of us. My leg dislocated when my badger took it in his jaws and shook me. Bouncefire yowled for us to climb a tree, but I couldn't with my leg. I told them to run, but Wolfshade wouldn't leave me. Neither would Bouncefire. Wolfshade drove his badger away. I was still fighting mine when I saw the other badger had Bouncefire by the neck."

My eyes closed as the image of Bouncefire hanging limply from the badger's jaws formed in my mind.

Plumwillow whimpered. The rest of the Clan was dead silent.

"Both Wolfshade and I attacked the badger. We ripped into its throat with all our strength, but it was too late. Bouncefire was too far gone. We badly injured that badger, but the one I was fighting earlier came to the rescue of its companion. It tore me from the other badger with its claws," I muttered, flicking my ears back to indicate the slash on my back. "It knocked me to the ground, breaking my rib. Then it- it slashed Wolfshade, knocking him off of the other badger. His face was badly cut, and he hit his head against the ground, knocking him out. Wolfshade hasn't... he hasn't woken up yet."

I barely got the sentences out. They were like chewing gravel; something my body rejected with every movement of my mouth. I didn't want the words to be true.

Yowls of rage and sadness rose from some cats in the Clan as I finished the story. My stomach flipped nauseatingly. Most of them hadn't known about the severity of Wolfshade's injuries yet.

"The other badger was dead. And, I drove the last one off," I said, my shoulders sagging as if retelling the events sapped me of all my energy.

"Then you carried Wolfshade halfway back to camp," Sagewhisker added.

I shrugged.

"I don't think I walked that far," I said flatly. "But, I wasn't going to leave him to become crow-food."

There was admiration in some of my clan-mate's eyes when they looked at me. But, seeing their respect, I felt nothing but grief and sorrow digging their claws into my heart.

"I've already sent a patrol out. They tracked the badgers and they found that the remaining badgers have left our territory. But, for now, no cat is allowed to travel outside of camp alone. Tomorrow, we shall patrol extensively to ensure the badgers are really gone for good," Leafstar broke in, coming over to stand supportively at my side.

I hardly listened to my mother's announcement. I knew I wouldn't be able to leave camp for a long while anyway. I started to pad forward slowly again, and cats parted around me to allow me to reach Bouncefire.

My gaze flickered over his closed eyes, and his newly groomed fur that had been carefully brushed in such a way to hide the many slashes that covered his pelt. I stiffly and slowly crouched down next to him to bury my nose in the ginger fur of his shoulder. His fur was soft, but his body was hard and cold under my muzzle, and even the strong, floral herbs Echosong rubbed on his pelt couldn't hide the dank scent of dried blood and death.

"I'm so sorry I couldn't save you," I whispered so only he could hear, but not the other cats clustered around us.

Grief swirled in my belly, and I screwed my eyes shut, staying crouched next to him in silence for a long few moments. I tried to feel for Bouncefire's spirit near me, like how that StarClan cat had appeared to me before, or how Bouncefire had seen Rainfur.

But, around me, I felt only hollow, aching silence.

"Goodbye, Bouncefire," I murmured finally.

I rose back to my paws to see that Echosong had emerged from her den, probably to make sure I stayed true to my promise to come back. Slowly, I hobbled over to her, and I let her guide me back to the medicine cat's den.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading and especially to those who left kudos and reviews!!


	32. Healing

I stirred in the nest in the medicine cat's den, blinking in the sunlight that streamed in the cave. Echosong had given me more poppy seeds to get me to sleep after Bounceﬁre's vigil. Now it was morning, and I could feel them wearing off as my thoughts sharpened. I shifted uncomfortably in my nest, every part of my body stiff and achy.

I turned to look over at Wolfshade, anxiety swirling in my stomach. He was still asleep, but I calmed myself by counting the even rising and falling of his ﬂanks as he breathed.

"Wolfshade," I meowed, hoping to rouse him.

He didn't stir.

"You're up," Echosong said, padding over to me at the sound of my voice.

I dipped my head to her.

"Has Wolfshade woken up at all?" I asked.

Echosong shook her head, and my stomach clenched with concern.

"Let's change these herbs," Echosong meowed briskly, changing the subject and getting to work on my wounds.

"Has he had anymore seizures? Can I check on him?" I meowed, struggling to my feet before she could even reply.

"He's been fine. But, Lightningﬁre. Take a look at yourself. You need to rest," Echosong meowed sternly.

I peered down at my paws. I was standing on very shaky legs, taking laborious, panting breathes which made my ribs throb with pain, and the wound on my back was oozing blood around the herbs that coated it from the movement.

Echosong helped lower me back into the nest, and I didn't resist her.

"I don't want you leaving this nest at all today," Echosong meowed.

I blinked up at her in dismay. She softened slightly.

"I know you're worried about him," Echosong said.

I sighed, putting my chin down on my paws.

_That's an understatement._

"I'll get you some fresh-kill," Echosong murmured, leaving the den.

I heaved a sigh again, still staring at Wolfshade. I ﬁddled in my nest, rolling from side to side. It was hard to ﬁnd a comfortable position with my sore foreleg, injured back, and aching chest. At least I had an appetite, and I waited impatiently for Echosong to return with food. But, it wasn't Echosong that came through the entrance of the den with fresh-kill, but Sagewhisker instead.

"I brought you a thrush. That's your favorite, right?" Sagewhisker meowed, putting the bird down at my paws.

I blinked in surprise at his appearance, but I also felt a stab of gratitude for the gesture.

"Yeah, thanks," I meowed.

"How are you feeling?" he meowed sympathetically, his pale green eyes ﬂickering over my pelt, taking in my wounds.

"Like a badger dragged me through the forest and back," I said with a short burst of a bitter, humorless purr.

"Sorry. That was a dumb question," Sagewhisker said, ducking his head in embarrassment.

"No. It's okay," I said quickly. 

A small shard of guilt stabbed in my chest for being rude to Sagewhisker when he was just trying to be nice.

My gaze ﬂickered back to Wolfshade.

"I don't mean to be snappy. I'm just stressed and worried about Wolfshade," I said quietly.

"I can't imagine what you're going through," Sagewhisker said softly. "I mean with Wolfshade. And, your injuries. And, seeing Bounceﬁre…"

Sagewhisker's voice trailed off, and he dipped his head, sadness in his eyes. My heart twisted as the memory of Bounceﬁre's death washed over me again and at seeing the grief on the grey tabby warriors face.

"Your father came to guide him to StarClan in the end," I meowed quietly.

Sagewhisker's ears pricked. His gaze drifted back up, and he looked at me intensely.

"Rainfur? Really?" he asked.

I nodded.

"I heard Bounceﬁre say his name," I said.

Sagewhisker's eyes misted over.

"It's nice to know he's still watching over us," he said quietly.

Sagewhisker was silent for a moment. I was looking at Wolfshade, but as the silence stretched on, my gaze ﬂickered back to Sagewhisker. Sagewhisker was staring at me, but when our eyes met, he quickly looked away. He cleared his throat.

"I'll let you eat your fresh-kill," he said, getting to his paws.

He headed towards the den's exit, where he paused to glance back over his shoulder.

"If you ever need something… just give a yowl," he added with a soft purr.

I nodded as he left, then ate the thrush in silence, gazing over at Wolfshade the whole while. The morning was starting to wear on, and fragile hope stirred in my chest.

_I'm sure, any moment, he'll wake up._

But, the hope was quickly squashed by a cold surge of doubt. Echosong had said that he probably had a brain injury. Could cats even recover from that?

I gave my head a vicious shake.

 _Don't think like that!_ I scolded myself viciously, unable to even dwell on that possibility at all.

I settled down into my nest, eyes locked on Wolfshade, determined to wait.

Other cats came to visit me or to check on Wolfshade during the day. Nightstorm stopped by, delivering the news that no new badger scent had been found on our territory. After he left, my parents came, and they talked with me for a while, until Echosong ushered them out, saying that I needed to rest. I napped for a while during sun-high. After I had woken up, Whisperheart and Briarspot checked in on me, and finally Cherrytail came down with all ﬁve kits in tow.

"Now you can't be rough," Cherrytail told them sternly as they entered the den. "Lightningﬁre is hurt."

Wrenkit and Rosekit approached me ﬁrst, their green eyes wide.

"I was so worried about you!" Wrenkit cried, burying his head in my shoulder fur.

"I'm going to be okay," I said with a reassuring purr, licking the top of his ﬂuffy brown tabby head.

"Did the badger do that to you?" Rosekit meowed, her face furrowed with concern as she looked at all of the wounds on my pelt.

I nodded.

"But, you fought them off?" she asked, her high pitched voice insisting.

"Yes," I replied.

Rosekit relaxed. She scraped her tiny claws against the ground.

"Good," she growled.

"Were you scared?" Ripplekit asked, his eyes wide.

"Yeah," I said quietly.

The kits were silent, looking up at me with solemn eyes. They seemed more frightened by my admittance that I had been afraid than they did by the badgers.

"What's wrong with Wolfshade?" Wrenkit asked, breaking the silence as he glanced over at the grey warrior with concern.

"He's hurt," I muttered, glancing away from him.

I didn't want to get into the details.

"You must have been so brave," Owlkit said, her eyes growing as wide as her namesake.

"Don't worry," Adderkit added. "Sharpclaw says the badgers are gone now."

"I think that's enough," Cherrytail interrupted quietly to the kits. "Lightningﬁre is probably tired."

They started to whine, but Cherrytail shushed them. With a goodbye to me, she deftly herded the kits out of the den.

I settled back down into my nest, preparing myself to wait longer. But, as the day passed on, Wolfshade still didn't stir. At some point in the afternoon, Echosong padded over to Wolfshade, giving him a thorough check up, snifﬁng the herb mask on his face to make sure they were all still in place.

"No change?" she meowed to me, as she was still crouched over him.

I wasn't sure if it was a question or a statement, but I nodded anyway.

I saw a troubled look creep over Echosong's face, but when she straightened, her expression was smooth.

_She doesn't want to seem upset for my sake._

I dug unsheathed claws into the moss under me. On one paw, I hated that Echosong was treating me like a little kit, unable to handle any bad news. But, on the other paw, the more rational part of me was grateful for it... deep down I knew that I wasn't in any state of mind to grapple with the thought of losing Wolfshade.

I gazed at him. The left side of his face, including his eye, was coated in herbs and a bit of dried blood. If I just looked at the other half of his face, and ignored the injury, I could almost imagine he was simply sleeping peacefully.

The day continued to trickle past, and soon the sky was darkening as the sun set. Echosong walked into the den, her mouth full of newly picked herbs. She sat near the entrance and began sorting them. I looked over to her, my stomach heavy like I'd swallowed a boulder. As if she felt my eyes on her, her gaze drifted up and met mine.

"Why won't he wake up?" I said, my voice hoarse.

Echosong slowly stilled her paws as she stopped sorting, and she bowed her head, sighing softly.

"Remember what I told you about brain injuries?" she murmured. "Bad ones can cause a cat to fall into a deep sleep. And there are times…"

Echosong hesitated, watching me carefully. I stared back at her.

"And, sometimes they never wake up," she ﬁnished with a sigh.

I breathed in deeply, feeling like the air had been struck from my chest again. My ribs screamed in pain at the deep breath, but that even that pain dulled in comparison to my internal agony. I closed my eyes.

 _There's still hope._ I tried to reassure myself. _She said 'sometimes.'_

"That's why you didn't want me to sleep when I injured my head, during my training as an apprentice," I meowed to her, my eyes opening.

Echosong dipped her head to me in conﬁrmation, her eyes widening in slightly surprise that I remembered.

My tail flicked. I suppose she was used to warriors hurting themselves, then charging right back to battle again without giving a second thought to their treatment.

"So what can we do to help him wake up?" I asked, my jaw already setting with determination.

Echosong shook her head.

"This is a battle he must ﬁght alone, Lightningﬁre. I can give him herbs to help his body heal, but not even the greatest medicine cat in the world can help bring him back from this sleep," she meowed.

I lashed my tail, feeling a sudden spark of anger.

"Mouse-dung," I spat.

Echosong looked at me in surprise, taken aback by my tone.

"We can't give up on him," I growled.

She shook her head.

"I didn't say that I am," she said. "But, I'm just trying to be realistic…"

"We need to keep his strength up," I interrupted. "How can his mind heal if the body is weak?"

Echosong tilted her head, but she seemed more curious than offended by my outburst. She leaned towards me, an unidentiﬁable emotion gleaming in her eyes.

"So Lightningﬁre, what would you suggest I do?" she asked.

I hesitated for a moment. _She_ was the medicine cat.

_Shouldn't she know the answer?_

"He needs water. He's been passed out for a whole day now with nothing to drink," I meowed.

Echosong's tail twitched.

"But, he's sleeping. If we just poured water into his mouth, wouldn't he choke?" she asked.

My brow furrowed as I thought about it.

"We swallow our saliva when our mouth is closed while we sleep," I said slowly. "So, no. He should swallow it, as long as we drip the water in slowly."

Echosong nodded, then poked her head out of the den to call for wet moss. Sootypaw brought some in, and Echosong took it from him. I watched as she carefully held Wolfshade's mouth open as she dripped the water in. When a tiny pool of water had formed by the back of Wolfshade's tongue, he swallowed. I felt a flash of relief.

_It worked!_

I looked over at Echosong, trying to see if she looked pleased. Then I blinked in surprise. It almost seemed by the conﬁdent way Echosong held his jaws and the moss that she had known this would work all along.

_Had she been testing me?_

"Now what do you think we should do?" Echosong asked, her tone smooth and curious as she continued to drip the water into Wolfshade's mouth.

My brow furrowed. Now it _definitely_ felt like she was testing me.

"Well, he needs more than water," I said. "He needs to eat too… But, he can't chew. We could use blood from freshly killed prey and drip it into his mouth like how we're giving him the water."

Echosong nodded, and I tilted my head as I thought more on it.

"That might work for a while," I said. "But, I think it would be better to chew up some fresh-kill and give it to him, so he has some real sustenance."

My brow furrowed. The problem was how to get the fresh-kill mush into his mouth. We could try scooping it in with our paws or dropping it in from our mouths, but if we missed, we would waste a lot of food. We also couldn't risk getting _too much_ food in his mouth because then he would choke. If there was only a way to concentrate a small amount on the back of the tongue, so it wouldn't go down his windpipe…

A image of the reeds that grew in the river appeared in my mind. I thought about how Nightstorm and I used to play with them as kits, and how we were startled one day when we broke some and discovered that they were hollow inside.

"What if we used some reeds from the river?" I asked.

I quickly explained my idea of using the reed to transfer food to his mouth to Echosong. She thought about it for a moment, her brow furrowed.

"It's worth giving a try," she ﬁnally said with a nod.

She fetched a few reeds for me, each varying widths as I requested. We picked the one that looked like it would work best with the size of Wolfshade's mouth. Not too big, but not so small that no food would make it through. I broke the reed to the correct length, ending up with a small hollow tube.

Echosong began to chew up a tiny bite of a mouse.

"I need you to help hold his head," Echosong said around her mouthful.

I got out of my nest and hobbled over to her. She instructed me where to put my paws, so I could hold his mouth open, without tilting his head too far back. Echosong picked up the reed tube and bit one end carefully, holding it steady in her jaws.

I stiﬂed a purr at how ridiculous she looked with the reed sticking out of her mouth and watched as she carefully lowered the other end of the reed into Wolfshade's mouth. The mouse mush came out of the end of the reed and ended up at the back of his tongue. Echosong removed the reed, dripped a few drops of water from the moss into Wolfshade's mouth, and his throat convulsed as he swallowed the mush easily.

Echosong and I both hesitated, making sure that he did not choke or cough. Wolfshade continued to breathe easily.

"Well done Lightningﬁre," Echosong purred to me.

My pelt warmed at her praise. Then we quietly got to work feeding Wolfshade the rest of the mouse. It was a slow and meticulous job, but I didn't care. I was just happy he was getting food.

_Get your strength back Wolfshade and heal. Then come back to me._

As it became night, I asked if Echosong could move my nest next to Wolfshade's. Echosong obliged and set up a new nest for me.

Exhausted and achy, I curled up against Wolfshade's side, and I let the rise and fall of his ﬂank guide me to sleep.

* * *

Stirring, I woke up early, just as the sun was peeking over the horizon, yanked from the peaceful clutches of sleep by the throbbing of my ribs. I shifted in my nest uncomfortably before leaning over to check on Wolfshade.

"Wolfshade," I whispered, shaking his shoulder lightly with a paw.

He didn't stir, so this time I nosed him.

"Wolfshade," I murmured again, my breath stirring his fur.

He still didn't rouse, and I sighed softly.

"Come on, Shade."

My voice was rough with affection and sadness as I whispered the nickname, some irrational part of me hoping that that was what would pull him from the clutches of this deep sleep.

I saw Echosong stirring in her nest deeper in the den at the sound of my soft mew. I leaned back down onto my side of the nest as she raised her head.

"Lightningﬁre, you're up early," Echosong murmured with a yawn.

"My ribs are paining me," I meowed.

"Do you want some more poppy seeds?" she asked.

I shook my head, pricking at the moss of my nest with my claws.

"I don't want to sleep anymore," I muttered.

Echosong rose and padded over to me.

"Alright. But, be sure to tell me if the pain gets too bad," she said.

Echosong felt my chest with her paws, making sure the cracked bones had not slide out of place. Then she replaced the poultice on the long wound on my back. As I waited for her to slather on all the herbs, I batted a small piece of moss between my paws, thinking back on the badger attack. The image of the StarClan warrior reappeared in my mind, and I felt a mix of confusion, awe, and nervousness as I relived the memory of seeing him. Why had he come to help me?

"Echosong?" I meowed softly.

"Yes?" she replied, her paws still moving busily, putting the poultice in place.

I hesitated, staring down at the scrap of moss.

"Have you ever met a white and pale grey tom with blue eyes in your dreams with StarClan?" I asked.

Echosong's paws suddenly stilled. She was silent for a long moment, before she lowered her paws slowly.

"Do you mean Cloudstar?" she meowed, her voice hesitant.

My gaze ﬂickered up to hers in surprise.

"The cat who led SkyClan from the old forest to here?" I asked incredulously.

Like all of SkyClan's kits, I had grown up hearing his tragic, but inspiringly brave, story from the elders.

"That's the one," she meowed, nodding her head.

My stomach turned over uncomfortably. What could such an old and powerful leader want with me?

"Why do you ask? Did Leafstar tell you about him?" she said with obvious interest.

Before I could respond, she cleared her throat and glanced down, like she was trying not to act too eager.

My tail thudded worriedly against the ground.

"No," I meowed slowly. "I... I think he saved me. During the attack, after I broke my ribs, I couldn't breathe. The badger was closing in on Wolfshade, and I was about to pass out. But, then I saw him. Cloudstar, I think. And, it was like he gave me my breath back and more energy, and he commanded me to keep ﬁghting."

I scufﬂed my paws in the moss.

"I think I saw him that one time in the Whispering Cave too," I murmured. "I'm certain it was the same cat."

My eyes unfocused slightly as I delved deeper into my memories.

"…I think I've maybe seen him more times before that too. I have these hazy memories… they feel almost like dreams now— just ﬂashes of him in the shadows. I think they go all the way back to when I was a kit."

My gaze ﬂickered back up to Echosong, and I saw her staring at me with keen interest.

"Or, maybe they _are_ just dreams, or I was hallucinating from lack of air during the attack," I meowed quickly, my fur prickling at the odd look on her face.

"No!" Echosong meowed, sounding strangely excited.

She collected herself, leaning back, sitting and wrapping her tail around her paws.

"No," she repeated in a calmer tone. "I don't think you were hallucinating. Tell me, what did Cloudstar say to you _exactly_ , when the badgers attacked?"

I furrowed my brow as I thought about it.

"Something about striking back against the badgers," I said, recalling the intensity in his eyes and voice. "It wasn't my time to die. Or something."

"'Strike,'" Echosong muttered to herself. "He wanted you to attack, but he was also referring to a lightning strike. Your name..."

Her voice trailed off.

"Maybe he just wanted me to ﬁght with the ferocity of a lightning strike?" I asked.

She didn't reply, her gaze becoming distant and thoughtful. I shifted uncomfortably beneath her faraway look. From the way she was looking at me, she must think this was very significant.

"Does him appearing to me mean something?" I inquired.

My fur started prickling at the thousands of hidden thoughts ﬂickering in her gaze.

"I've seen him so many times. He _must_ be trying to tell me something, right?"

Echosong suddenly shook herself out of it.

"...You don't have to worry about that right now. You just concentrate on healing," she said, leaning down to lick the top of my head in a motherly way.

I frowned, my tail flicking behind me. I wasn't satisfied with that response, but she rose to her paws to walk away.

"Wait," I meowed, and Echosong stopped.

"Why me?" I asked.

Echosong cocked her head to the side as if she didn't understand.

"What do you mean?" Echosong said, turning back to me.

"Why did he save me? Why has this StarClan warrior chosen to talk to me?" I said, digging my claws into the moss of my nest. "Why not you? Or, Leafstar? Or, someone else? It's not like I'm special."

Echosong was silent for a moment.

"Maybe you are, Lightningﬁre," she meowed quietly.

I snorted at the absurdity of her comment. What about all those times I've missed a bird while hunting? Or, the times I slept in, curled up in my nest far long than I was supposed to be?

Or, how Whisperheart told me a secret, and I kept it, breaking my relationship with Wolfshade in the process.

Or, how I just had my tail handed to me by a badger, and I lost Bounceﬁre because I wasn't strong enough to save him...

I shook my head to myself, hot claws of shame and guilt ripping through my pelt.

"I don't know about that," I muttered, staring down at my nest.

Silence hung between us for a long moment, and as it stretched on, it drew my gaze back up to hers. Her blue eyes shone into mine... too intently. The look rose the fur on my shoulders.

"I believe our ancestors lay out the paths for all cats, Lightningﬁre. From the youngest kit to the oldest elder." Echosong's voice was strange and hollow as if her mind was far away from her body as she spoke. "And, some of us have bigger paw-steps to fill than others."


	33. The Sleep

I twitched my tail impatiently from my nest. Echosong was sitting in the back of the cave, quietly sorting herbs. I looked over at Wolfshade. Several more sunrises had passed since the attack, but he was still sleeping. Echosong and I continued to give him food and water, but I could see his bones beginning to poke out from under his pelt. He was losing weight.

I leaned over to gently lick Wolfshade's soft grey head.

"Don't worry. You'll wake up soon," I murmured to him.

As I pulled back from him, I dug my claws into the moss, utter helplessness washing over me.

_I wish there is something more I could do for him._

I sighed, my head sagging as defeat weighed me down.

"If I have to sit in this nest for one more day, I'm going to go crazy," I loudly announced to Echosong.

Echosong glanced up at me from her herbs with a look of surprise. She swept her gaze over me thoughtfully.

"How are you feeling? How much pain are you in?" she asked.

"I'm feeling well enough to manage just fine without a poppy seed," I meowed.

I stood up and was delighted to find that my paws were not shaky.

"See?" I meowed to her.

I hobbled over to Echosong. There was a soft ache in my chest, but it was manageable. I only felt a sharp jab of pain when I accidentally jolted my chest as I lowered myself back into a sitting position next to her.

"It seems like you are well enough to leave your nest," Echosong agreed, looking over me carefully. "You are free to go into camp, but don't try climbing anything."

"So, I can lie in the sunlight instead of in my nest?" I meowed dryly.

"If you want," Echosong replied with a purr.

I shook my head.

"I don't want to do that," I said. "I'm _bored._ "

"I'm afraid you still can't return to warrior duties for quite a while, Lightningfire," Echosong meowed to me.

I sighed.

"Just give me something to do. All day I sit in my nest, alone with my thoughts. I look at Wolfshade and hope he will wake up. I'll drive myself mad with grief and helplessness if this continues on much longer," I said.

Echosong gave me a sad look and opened her jaws to say something. I didn't give her a chance to reply. I wanted a distraction, not to continue to wallow in self-pity.

I nodded to the herbs at her paws.

"What are these?" I asked.

"Burdock root. It's the best herb there is for treating rat bites. Either to prevent infection or to stop one," Echosong said. "I haven't had to use it for quite a while, but I like to keep a big supply… just in case."

A small shudder ran through me at her dark expression. I'd never come across a rat in all my time as a warrior or an apprentice, but everyone in SkyClan knew the stories well, and we all stayed on high alert for any sight of them.

"And, what's that?" I said, nodding towards a pile of leaves.

"Yarrow," Echosong meowed, a pleased expression beginning to creep across her face, like she was happy to share her knowledge.

Maybe she missed having someone to talk to about medicine cat things since Frecklewish was gone.

I bent down to sniff the leaves.

"What is it used for?" I asked, crinkling my nose at its powerful, almost sickly-sweet scent.

"If a cat eats it, it'll make them vomit to remove something bad that they ate. Or, it can be rubbed on to wounds to remove toxins," Echosong explained. "But, I mostly use it to make an ointment to soften and heal cracked and irritated pads."

Echosong lifted her foot, showing me her soft pink pads. I lifted my foot to compare it. I blinked in surprise when I discovered my light grey pads were much harder than hers.

"A lot of us in the gorge unfortunately don't have the same hard pads as you," Echosong said, seeing my surprised expression. "These stones in the gorge can be rough our feet. I go through my yarrow supply fairly often, making ointment for a lot of our clan-mates, myself included."

Echosong gave a soft purr.

"Your supply seems low," I noted, glancing at the small pile.

"Yes. I was planning on gathering some more today," Echosong replied.

"Can I come?" I asked, eyes brightening.

"I know that there's a patch not far from camp," Echosong said slowly. "So, I suppose so, as long as you keep it slow, and let me know if anything starts to hurt."

I purred with delight.

"I'll have to get someone to watch Wolfshade while we're gone," Echosong said. "And, I'll need to get a warrior to come with us. Leafstar still doesn't want any cat going out alone."

I nodded.

_I don't care if I have to be watched over by another warrior like a kit. I just want to get out of camp!_

"Wait here. I'll go see who's available," Echosong said.

She got up and padded out of the den. I fidgeted where I sat, hardly able to keep still.

_I'm more impatient to leave camp now, than I was my first day as an apprentice!_

Echosong came back with Iceshiver and Seedheart in tow.

"Seedheart will watch over Wolfshade while Iceshiver comes with us to gather herbs," Echosong meowed.

"Great! Let's get going," I said, slowly getting to my paws.

Echosong, Iceshiver and I padded out of the den. I followed the two of them more slowly as we walked through the camp. I was so happy to be doing something, I didn't even care that I was walking as stiffly as an elder. I just tilted my chin up, purring as the sunlight warmed my face and the breeze stirred my whiskers, bringing with it the alluring scents of the forest. We had just reached the edge of camp when I heard a voice behind me.

"You're out of the medicine cat's den!"

My ears pricked and I turned to see Sagewhisker padding over to me.

"Yeah," I said. "I'm going with Echosong and Iceshiver to gather some herbs."

"Are you sure you're feeling up for that?" Sagewhisker asked, blinking at me in surprise.

I bristled slightly at his comment.

"Yes. I am," I said curtly. "And, last I checked, Echosong was the medicine cat, and she said it was okay."

"Sorry. I didn't mean to insult you," Sagewhisker said quickly with an apologetic blink. "I'm just a bit worried. Do you want me to come with you? The badgers could still be hanging around."

"No thanks," I meowed politely, trying to flatten my bristling pelt.

I mentally scolded myself again for being rude to him when he was just concerned.

"We have Iceshiver, and she's all the protection we need. Right, Echosong?" I said.

To my relief, Echosong nodded. Even though Sagewhisker was a sweet, caring cat, I didn't think I'd be able to stand him hovering over my shoulder like a worried mother-duck as we searched for herbs.

"We should get going," Echosong said, taking the lead as we walked out of camp, leaving Sagewhisker behind.

Iceshiver and I walked side-by-side, following Echosong who was a couple of tail-lengths ahead. My steps were slow, so Iceshiver slowed her pace to match mine.

"He seems to like you a lot," Iceshiver commented, glancing over at me from her sharp green eyes.

"Sagewhisker?" I asked, flattening my ears.

"He's a nice cat," Iceshiver added, turning to look back forward again.

My brow furrowed at Iceshiver's probing tone.

"I'm not interested. He must know that," I muttered, staring ahead.

"Well, no one can help how they feel," Iceshiver said, rotating an ear towards me.

"He's my friend, and I'd hate to hurt his feelings. But, I'm with Wolfshade. I don't want anyone but him. End of story," I muttered, my tail tip twitching.

Iceshiver let out a purr, noticing my irritation.

"Relax, Lightningfire. I'm not trying to push you to Sagewhisker, or steal Wolfshade. Although, I am a bit jealous of how you managed to get two toms to fall all over you," Iceshiver said, with a playful sweep of her tail.

I gave a snort of laughter, shaking my head. Iceshiver glanced away from me, looking after Echosong.

"What herb are we looking for again?" she asked.

"Yarrow," Echosong meowed. "I usually find it growing just by a fallen tree ahead."

"We want to collect the leaves," I added. "Echosong uses them to sooth hurt pads."

"Very good, Lightningfire," Echosong said, glancing at me over her shoulder with a purr.

I raised my head with pride at her praise.

"It has a strong, sweet scent, and small white or pink flowers," Echosong said, turning back ahead.

"You mean like sick-sweet?" Iceshiver said, pricking her ears and bounding up to Echosong's side.

"I've never heard of a plant called sick-sweet," Echosong said, brow furrowing with confusion.

"We call it that because it smells sickly sweet, and it'll make you sick it you eat it," Iceshiver said, raising her nose to sniff at the air. "Look! That's it!"

Iceshiver bounded over to a patch of leaves growing at the base of a fallen tree ahead.

"That's definitely yarrow," Echosong said, trotting over to her.

I followed much more slowly.

"How did you learn about this herb?" Echosong asked, turning to Iceshiver with a look of curiosity.

"My mother knew a bit about herbs. Not as much as you of course, but she knew about sick-sweet and how that you eat it when you eat something bad. Let's see… what else," Iceshiver said, her gaze thoughtful. "Oh, yeah! She also taught us about dandelion leaves. She said we could chew them to ease pain."

Iceshiver shrugged.

"It's not a lot, but she had to raise several litters of kits on her own, and that knowledge helped us survive to adulthood," Iceshiver said.

I noticed that Iceshiver left out the part about her mother raising her in a huge two-leg place, among dozens of vicious rogues.

_Knowing what herbs to use with injuries probably helped with surviving that too._

The three of us picked the yarrow, only stripping the leaves off of the plants. Echosong had us leave some plants untouched, so there would be yarrow still growing here in the moons to come.

We made the slow trek back to camp. I carried a much smaller bundle of leaves than Iceshiver or Echosong, but my chest still started to pound with pain by the time the trees gave away to the sandy gorge of the camp. As we walked towards the medicine cats' den, my whole body was limp with exhaustion. I shot a glance at Echosong and tried to even my breathing, not wanting her to put me back on den-rest.

_Hopefully she won't notice._

As we came into the medicine cat's den, I spotted Wolfshade's grey side.

"Wolfshade!" I called, as I padded in with the yarrow.

I saw Seedheart's white and tabby pelt stir, and she straighten from where she had been crouching close to Wolfshade, who continued lying still.

"How did the herb gathering go?" Seedheart asked, looking at Iceshiver, Echosong, and I.

I blinked hard, slightly startled.

_Mouse-brain!_

I shook my head.

For a few blissful heartbeats, I had forgotten that Wolfshade was still lost in a deep sleep.

"Good," I said with a forced purr.

I lowered my head to place the herbs down on the moss covered floor. It suddenly felt like there was a heavy stone in my stomach.

"Do you want to help me sort them?" Echosong meowed, blinking back at me.

"I'm actually feeling tried now," I mumbled, not looking at anyone.

"You should rest then," Echosong said, gazing at me sympathetically. "I don't want you over-doing it."

I nodded, murmuring goodbyes to Iceshiver and Seedheart as they left the den. With slow paws, I padded over to my nest, crouching down. I pressed my side to Wolfshade's, sighing that the familiar brush of his fur again mine. I screwed my eyes shut.

_Please, come back. I don't want to lose you._

Soon, I fell into an uneasy sleep.

* * *

The next morning, I stirred, blinking awake in my nest next to Wolfshade. I could feel his flank rising against mine, but it was sharp from the poking of his bones from under his thin pelt.

My stomach twisted as I took in his gaunt, sleeping form. I turned my gaze away, unable to look at him without being stricken by grief so terrible that it made me feel sick.

"How long has it been?" I asked in a hoarse voice Echosong.

She looked up at me from her nest in the back of the den.

"How long has it been since the badger attack?" I said.

She blinked, then bowed her head slightly.

"It's been over a quarter moon," she replied in a quiet voice.

I glanced over at Wolfshade again before tearing my gaze away again, staring down at my paws.

"It's been so long. He's not getting better is he?" I said bitterly.

She was silent. I looked up at her, forcing her to meet my gaze.

"You can tell me. Don't try to spare my feelings," I said, my voice sounding a bit more rough than I expected.

I swallowed hard.

"I will continue to do all I can for him," Echosong murmured quietly. "But, Wolfshade's life is in the paws of StarClan now."

I nodded. Hearing those words should've been like a kick to the gut. But, strangely, I felt only numbness, like someone clawed me open then drained all of my feelings out.

"I'm going to get some fresh-kill," I muttered, pulling myself to my paws, then staggering out of the den.

I padded outside and took a deep breath as I felt the warm touch of sunshine on my whiskers. I looked around the camp, watching cats go about their daily chores and patrols. I sighed. The normalcy of it comforted me. Out here I could pretend that everything was alright. I didn't have to see Wolfshade and remember it wasn't.

Just looking at him hurt.

I shook my head, and the movement caused a small jolt of pain in my chest that, thankfully, distracted me from my thoughts. I padded across the gorge towards the fresh-kill pile. Eating was another normal thing. A good distraction.

"Ho! SkyClan beware! Badgerslayer is coming through!"

The voice jerked me from my detached haze. It was Lionclaw, calling from the corner of the camp where he was lying in a pool of sunlight with Nightstorm, Ravenfur, and Creamclaw. I clenched my jaw, tail tip twitching with annoyance, but I ignored my obnoxious friend, continuing to determinedly limp towards the fresh-kill pile.

 _Shut up Lionclaw._ I fiercely sent the thought in his direction. _Can't you tell I don't want to think about the badger attack right now?_

"Badgerslayer is upset that Badgerkiller is still sick," I heard Lionclaw mutter to Ravenfur.

Something snapped inside of me. I whirled on Lionclaw.

"My name is Lightningfire, and his is Wolfshade," I hissed, arching my back defensively.

Lionclaw blinked, taken aback.

"I know, Lightningfire. I was only joking," he meowed.

I flattened my bristling coat, but my ears still twisted back. The anger faded as quickly as it came, being replaced with a flash of guilt for yelling at Lionclaw, and an overwhelming wave of sadness. It was sticky tar sloshing in my stomach, creeping up my throat, choking me. My body started to tremble, and I made a wet gasping noise.

"What's wrong?" Lionclaw meowed, getting to his paws and padding over to me.

His eyes were round with concern, and I could see Nightstorm, Ravenfur, and Creamclaw staring at me in the same way from behind him.

"He might never wake up, Lionclaw," I whispered, my voice breaking as I struggled over the words.

Sadness dulled his amber eyes.

"I'm so sorry, Lightningfire. And, I'm sorry that I said anything," he said in a low voice, clenching his jaw. "Wolfshade and Bouncefire…"

Lionclaw's voice trailed off, and his board shoulders slouched down under the heavy grief from the loss of one of his half-brothers and what was possibly the impending loss of the other. Perhaps his silly jokes were his way of coping with it.

"I don't know what I'm supposed to do," I rasped in a very small voice.

I closed my eyes for a moment. The whole world was falling apart around me. How could've my life deteriorated so quickly? Only a moon ago, I was at the happiest I've ever been. And, now...

I opened my eyes again to face the harsh light of reality. My heart twisted, and my legs began shaking so hard I could barely stand. Out of the corner of my eye, I caught a flash of movement. Sagewhisker was getting to his paws, like he wanted to come help me, but Lionclaw was already next to me, offering his side for support. I leaned against my friend's pelt, burying my face in his long golden fur. Lionclaw let me grieve against his shoulder, gently pressing himself against me in a silent show of comfort.

"I love him."

My whisper wasn't loud enough for Lionclaw to hear, but maybe if I said those words out loud, it'd convince StarClan, the world, or _something,_ to allow Wolfshade to stay.

After a long few moments, my trembled abated enough that I could stand without support. I left Lionclaw with a soft "Thank you," and finally finished my journey to the fresh-kill pile.

I scarfed down a small mouse near the pile, pretending like I didn't notice that my friends were still casting me sad, worried glances from across the camp. The food tasted like ashes in my mouth, but I chewed and swallowed it automatically. I definitely needed what little strength it provided me, if I was to get through these next few days.

As I ate, my thoughts were a whirling storm of anxiety. The worse case scenario played out again and again in my mind. I saw Wolfshade's emaciated form and dull grey pelt— a shadow of his once sturdy frame and sleek blend of black, grey, and silver fur, curled up frailly on a nest. His flanks were still, and Echosong stood over him, staring at me with mournful blue eyes. 'I'm so sorry, Lightningfire. He hunts with StarClan now...'

I jerked my head, sending the image away. I sunk my claws deeply into the ground to steady myself, root myself here, in the present moment, instead of in that nightmarish possible future.

I finished the meal slowly. My uneasily churning stomach made the task difficult, but I didn't want to waste a perfectly good piece of prey. After I was done, I wasted a few more moments by the fresh-kill pile, just shuffling my paws on the ground. My thoughts were a confusing, conflicting blend of intense denial that I could ever lose Wolfshade, and a suffocating, anxious belief that he would die at any moment.

Fear raked claws down my spine.

What if when I got back to the medicine cat's den... I'd find Wolfshade already dead?

I inhaled sharply.

_Maybe then, I should just stay out here... If I never go to the medicine cat's den, then I never see him dead. So, then he never actually dies, right?_

It took me several heartbeats to convince myself how stupid and irrational those thoughts were.

With a shaky breath, I forced myself to my paws and padded back to the cave.

My gaze shot towards Wolfshade as soon as I stepped inside, and I almost collapsed in relief when I saw he was still breathing. I stared at him hard, the flood of relief in my chest receding but leaving a glimmer of hope behind.

If he was still breathing now, if he hadn't died yet, he must be fighting. There must still be a chance he could still wake up... right?

I turned to Echosong, my gaze fierce with my renewed sense of hope.

"Will you teach me?" I asked her.

She looked up at me from her nest, her eyes widening in surprise.

"Teach you what, Lightningfire?" she asked, sitting up and curling her tail around her paws.

I nodded towards Wolfshade.

"How to care for him. What herbs you use on his face. How to put them on. Everything," I meowed.

Echosong's brow furrowed in a puzzled look.

"I don't mind teaching you more about herbs, but I'm curious... Why do you want to know?" she asked.

I chewed my lip indecisively, not quite understanding my desire either. It wasn't that I doubted Echosong's abilities to care for Wolfshade. If any cat could heal him, she could. But, I couldn't stand the idea of just standing aside and watching Wolfshade waste away without being able to do anything about it. Without trying to help him.

"I feel like the attack was my fault," I whispered in a small voice. "I was fighting with Wolfshade, so that's why Leafstar sent us on the patrol in the first place. She wanted us to make up. If Wolfshade dies—"

My voice cracked. I swallowed and continued.

"If he dies I want to be able to know that I at least tried. I tried so hard to save him," I said, digging my claws into the moss-covered floor of the den.

"Oh Lightningfire, this isn't your fault," Echosong said, getting to her paws and padding over to me.

She went to lay her tail over my shoulders in a comforting gesture, but I shrugged it off.

 _"Please,"_ I said, looking at her. "I need to feel like I've done something to help him."

She gazed at me silently for a moment before nodding.

Echosong turned, padding to the back of her den to her herb supplies, and came back with two different herbs in her mouth.

"This is marigold," she meowed, pawing at a pile of green leafs and yellow petals. "It treats and prevents infection. And, this is goldenrod." She touched a slimmer stalk that still had a few faded yellow flowers attached to one end. "It helps wounds heal. I've been chewing the two together in a poultice and using cobwebs to bind the herbs to the wound on his face."

I nodded, doing the best to commit what she said to memory. I gazed at the plants hard, memorizing the difference between the herbs' flower shapes and the shades of yellow on their petals.

Echosong showed me how to chew the herbs into a poultice, then had me do the same to some of the other leaves. I wrinkled my nose up at the bitter, unpleasant taste, but I didn't say a word of complaint. Echosong nodded approvingly at the poultice that I spat out on my paw. Then, with deft, practiced movements, she showed me how to clean the old, dry, crumbling herbs off of Wolfshade's face and apply the new ones. Echosong guided my hesitant paw as I slathered my part of the poultice over the wounds on his cheek, demonstrating the right amount of pressure to put so that the herbs stuck to his face, but not so much pressure that I hurt him. Finally, Echosong weaved sticky cobwebs on the edges of the herbs to keep the whole thing in place. She had me attempt that too, but I just ended up getting the webs tangled in the fur of my own paws.

"You did very well," Echosong purred encouragingly to me once we were done.

I nibbled at my paw with my teeth, still trying to pull the cobwebs from my fur.

"Even though I got more cobwebs on myself than on Wolfshade?" I said drily, mumbling around my paw in my mouth.

"That's the trickiest part," she said with another purr. "You'll get it next time."

I nodded, my chest warming at her encouragement.

My mind whirled with motivation. For the first time since the badger attack, I no longer felt purposeless. Chewing herbs definitely wasn't as pleasant as catching prey, but at least I was making a difference— doing something useful rather than spending my days moping in my nest. My paws still itched for more to do, so I asked Echosong if there was anything else she could teach me. With a pleased look, Echosong led me to the back of the den. My eyes widened at the sheer amount of different kinds of herbs lined up in cracks in the cave wall there. As the day wore on, we went through them all. She took each different herb out and had me look at, sniff, and even occasional lick them. She told me information about what they were, and what they're used for, and where to find them, until my mind felt like it would burst if I had to remember one more name.

I went to bed with my mind buzzing with herbs. As I settled into my nest, I gazed at Wolfshade. Seeing the herbs I applied on his face filled my heart with a new sense of determination.

_Wake up, Wolfshade._

As long as I cared for him, as long as he breathed, I could still cling to that tiny hope that one day he would.


	34. Memories

I blinked my eyes open blearily, wincing at the morning sunlight that fell across my face. As sleep was driven away, my mind sharpened, noticing the sensation of my side pressed against Wolfshade's back. The rise and fall of his flank as he breathed was reassuringly regular and even. I breathed out a murmur of gratitude that he was still doing alright.

I uncurled my paws out from under me, stretching and grimacing as my ribs groaned in protest at the movement, as well as the slash across my back; the tight, newly-sealed flesh pulling uncomfortably. Gingerly, I lifted myself into a sitting position, trying my best not to aggravate my wounds any further.

I leaned over Wolfshade, taking in a breath of his familiar scent. I rasped my tongue across his forehead a few times.

"Good morning," I murmured to him.

Then I got to work. I checked the light scratches distributed across his body. All were almost healed, only faint pink marks on his skin. Next I moved to his face. The entire left half was masked in herbs and cobwebs, but they were dry and crumbling from being on all night. I removed them with gentle licks, carefully peeling the herbs back as to not injure the sensitive, healing skin.

Four slashes from each of the badger's claws stretched from the center of his face to the left side. Although the wound closest to Wolfshade's left eye swept right over his eyelid, Echosong had examined the eye itself, and she concluded it didn't appear to have been injured by the blow. But, we would not know for sure if he could use it or not until he woke up, of course. His face had been badly swollen following the attack, but it had slowly receded as the days passed, and now his cheek was back to normal size. The large gashes across his face had disarmed me the first time I saw them, but the shock had faded as the scars began to blend into the rest of his face, becoming just another part of his features.

I gently licked the rest of the herbs from the four wounds. Then I breathed in deeply, searching for even the slightest hint of a sour scent that indicated infection. There was none, thankfully. My ears pricked as I heard Echosong stretching from her nest deeper in the cave. I got to my paws, padding past her towards the herb storage. She gave herself a quick grooming as typical of her morning ritual.

"Good morning, Lightningfire," she purred to me as I walked by.

It was another part of the routine that we had fallen into for the past several days, just like my morning greeting to Wolfshade.

"Good morning," I replied.

I padded confidently around the many piles of herbs, heading right to where I knew the marigold was. I picked up a few leaves, noting that the supply seemed low. I snatched up a couple stalks of goldenrod too.

"We need to get more marigold," I mumbled to Echosong around the herbs in my mouth, dabbing up some cobwebs with my paw as I said it.

"Really? I thought we had plenty left," she replied, trying to look around my legs to see the store from her nest.

I hobbled back over to Wolfshade on three legs. I put the cobwebs and the herbs down.

"We did but, then yesterday you told me to give some to Tangle to reduce the swelling of his stiff joints. And, we've be using it on me to soothe my stiff shoulder, remember?" I said.

I bent my head to chew up the leaves into a poultice. Once done, I spread it on the wounds on Wolfshade's face. I glanced up at Echosong thoughtfully.

"We can always use oak leaves on Wolfshade instead to prevent infection, if we run out of marigold. Or, I can go look for some more marigold today. There's got to be loads of it around. We've got plenty of water in the river for it to grow beside," I said to Echosong.

"You've learned a lot in a short amount of time, Lightningfire," Echosong said with a purr. "And, you've been a great help these past few days. You can go gather marigold if you wish, but don't go far. You're still healing remember."

I bowed my head to her. Warm delight glowed in my chest that I got to go out of camp, even if it was only to gather herbs. Lately, I had been gathering herbs at every chance I got, just to see the forest again. The herb storage was overflowing thanks to my frequent trips.

_I bet Echosong is going to miss me helping out once I can finally return to warrior duties... Maybe she should take on a new apprentice. Perhaps one of Cherrytail's kits will want to be a medicine cat?_

As I fixed Wolfshade's cobweb bandage in place, Echosong padded past me to grab a bite to eat from the fresh-kill pile. She coughed lightly as she walked by, and my ears pricked in surprise at the noise. But, Echosong shook it off and left the cave. I shrugged it away.

_She must've just had something caught in her throat._

Wolfshade's new bandage finished, I remained sitting next to him for a moment, gazing out of the entrance of the cave, trying to decide my next move.

_Should I have some fresh-kill before looking for herbs?_

Out of the corner of my eye, an unusual movement caught my attention. I turned my head towards it, and I noticed Wolfshade's breathing had picked up. My stomach clenched as waves of dread and hope crashed together inside me. I scrambled to my paws, staring down at him.

His paw twitched. Then his ear.

My heart pounded so hard, I thought it might burst out of my chest.

 _"Echosong!"_ I yowled after her, my voice half panicked and half hopeful.

Wolfshade's face twitched, and then for the first time in a half of a moon, his one uncovered eye opened.

My heart flipped over in my chest, and the sight of his familiar grey-green eye sent a surge of relief through me so powerful, it almost knocked me off my feet. Wolfshade's gaze was clouded, tired and confused. It flickered around the den before finally resting on me.

I inhaled a deep, trembling breath, too overwhelmed to form words. Shaking, I bent over and pressed my muzzle to his unhurt cheek, a purr starting to rumble in my throat. He gazed at me blearily.

"Where am I?" he said each word slowly, his voice hoarse with disuse.

At that moment, Echosong dashed in the den. A happy purr burst from her throat as she saw Wolfshade, awake and alert. She leaned over him, gently checking him over.

"It's okay. You're in the medicine cat's den," Echosong replied.

"Echosong," Wolfshade said with relief, his gaze sliding from me to her.

I crouched down, pressing my face into the thick ruff of fur around his neck.

"I'm so happy you're awake," I said into his fur, speaking through the lump of emotion in my throat.

I swallowed, trying to compose myself, and I pulled my face back.

"Do—do you want some water?" I managed.

Briefly, his gaze flickered back to mine.

"Yes, thank you," he replied before his eyes slid back to Echosong.

"I'll get it," Echosong meowed. "You should have some prey too, Wolfshade. Only something small though at first. You've been asleep for a while, so we'll have to work up to full meals."

She turned, quickly vanishing from the cave.

I gazed at Wolfshade, warm joy tingling all through my body. I felt like yowling in jubilation and collapsing from relief at the same time.

He was awake! Everything was going to be alright.

He seemed a little confused and overwhelmed right now, but that reaction seemed totally natural. He'd been asleep for a half-moon, after all.

"How are you feeling, Wolfshade? Are you okay?" I asked in a gentle voice, scooting a little closer to him so I was crouching by his side.

"I—I—I'm okay. I think," he said, blinking hard several times as he gazed at me. "I feel very weak though."

Echosong came back into the cave with a clump of soaking moss in her mouth and a mouse dangling by its tail. She dropped the moss first at Wolfshade's paws. He quickly bent his head down, drinking eagerly. He lapped for a while, and I saw him relaxing, like strength was returning to him with every mouthful. Echosong began partitioning the mouse into small bites as we both waited for him to finish in silence.

I blinked hard, my head spinning and my paws weightless. I still could hardly believe how lucky we were that Wolfshade had come back to us.

"We have to tell the camp," I meowed to Echosong in a breathless voice. "They'll be so happy."

"We will in a minute," Echosong said with a purr to me. "But, let's give Wolfshade a few moments to recover first. We don't want to overwhelm him."

Echosong turned to him, pushing a small bite of mouse over to his paws.

"You should have some of this prey," Echosong meowed. "We'll just start with a little bit first, alright?"

Wolfshade finally lifted his head from the moss and nodded, twitching stray water droplets from his whiskers.

"I'm starving," he declared, his voice much clearer and smoother now. "And, my face hurts."

Wolfshade lifted a paw to touch his injured cheek. He cocked his head to the side.

"What happened?" he asked, looking at Echosong.

I opened my mouth to answer him automatically. But, I hesitated, the reality of what he was asking setting in like ice creeping slowly across the surface of a pond. I blinked, and my brow furrowed with concern.

"Wait, you mean you don't remember?" I meowed, perplexed.

Wolfshade's uncovered eye flickered from Echosong's eyes back to mine again.

"I'm sorry," he said hesitantly, his gaze apologetic but guarded. "Who are you?"

My eyes widened, and I froze. My stomach dropped to my paws as my heartbeat picked up, sending pulses of building confusion and dread through me with each beat. I blinked hard, giving my head a jerk to try to shake off the strange rushing sound that had suddenly filled my ears.

Wolfshade's question echoed in my mind over and over again, and the delight that had filled me withered like a flower in leaf-bare, dying in the icy wind and rotting under the snow.

"Wolfshade?" I whispered, his name coming out like a pained gasp.

He looked at me, but his gaze was suddenly unfamiliar to me. It was his face, but there was no spark of recognition in his uncovered eye.

I took a step backwards.

"No. No. No," I growled, shaking my head over and over again.

I dug my claws into the mossy ground.

"You don't remember me?" I said, a whimper threatening in my throat.

I clenched my jaw against the escaping whine, as if somehow that would keep me from totally breaking down. Echosong's flank brushed against mine as she tried to comfort me, but I felt her touch only dully, as if I was actually leagues away from my body. Wolfshade gazed at me, his good eye wide and bewildered.

"No. I'm sorry," he said.

"I'm Lightningfire," I said my name forcefully like the word would make him remember it.

Wolfshade's gaze lit up.

"Like Lightningkit, Leafstar's daughter?" he asked.

Echosong's gaze met with mine, her face echoing my confusion.

 _Lightning_ **_kit_ _?_ **

"Wolfshade, what's the last apprentice ceremony you remember?" Echosong asked, gently stepping away from me.

"Briarpaw's, Lionpaw's, and Ravenpaw's," Wolfshade replied slowly, a look of confusion on his face at the question.

I sucked in a trembling breath.

Four seasons.

A whole year was gone from his memory.

"Why did this happen?" I hissed to Echosong, turning on her with slightly bristling fur.

She shook her head, her eyes wide with shock.

"I don't know. His brain injury… the injury must have caused some memory loss," she replied.

"But they'll come back?" I said, more of a demand than a question.

Her ears twisted back.

"I don't know," Echosong murmured.

My stomach clenched, and I suddenly felt nauseous. That wasn't the answer I wanted.

Wolfshade watched our conversation with confusion. My gaze only brushed over him for a heartbeat before I had to tear my eyes away.

I couldn't look at his face. Not when it belonged to a stranger.

My chest heaved as I panted in distress. Stumbling over my own paws, I scrambled backwards and bolted out of the den.

"What's wrong? I don't understand," I heard Wolfshade say as I ran away.

"Lightningfire is just upset right now…" Echosong said, her voice soothing.

I couldn't even make it across camp at a run. My ribs hurt too much.

I floundered to a stop by Rockpile, panting wildly and chest aching. The world had started spinning around me. Searching desperately for something to steady me, I stumbled over to one of the boulders, leaning my head against the smooth side of the stone. My claws unsheathed, and I dug them into the ground. Fury, frustration, and terrible, aching sadness ripped through me, shaking me to my bones.

Was StarClan playing a cruel joke?! They returned Wolfshade to me, but they also didn't.

"It's just like while he was sleeping. I have his body, but not his mind," I muttered out loud to myself.

Nearly hysterical, I started to laugh at the terribly irony of it.

"Lightningfire, are you alright?" A soft voice asked.

My shoulders shaking from the strength of my purrs, I looked up to see Sagewhisker hesitantly approaching me. I gazed at him blankly for a moment. Then slowly at first, I started shaking my head.

"No," I replied.

"No. _No,"_ I said with increasing frantic head shakes.

He walked over to me, and I pressed myself against his side, burying my face in his shoulder while the hysterical purrs continued to vibrate out of my mouth.

"Shh," he soothed.

My purring died out, but in its place a strangled wail grew in my throat, and my trembling only increased.

"What happened? Is it Wolfshade?" Sagewhisker asked as my wail faded.

He pressed himself a bit harder against my side.

"Is he… dead?" Sagewhisker whispered.

"No. He woke up," I mumbled into his side around the huge lump in my throat.

"Really?" he asked, his voice coming out relieved, but then he tensed against me. "Well that's good. So… what's wrong?"

I screwed my eyes shut, not lifting my face from his fur.

"He doesn't remember me, Sagewhisker. My face, my name, nothing. He doesn't remember anything that's happened since four seasons ago," I whispered, letting out another wail like a kit.

I snapped my jaws shut, cutting off the cry, but it took me a moment to compose myself. I was still shaking like a leaf in a storm, crouched over and pressed as closely to Sagewhisker as I could, like I could hide from the world in his short pelt.

Sagewhisker was silent for several long moments.

"Oh, Lightningfire, I'm so sorry," he finally murmured.

I clenched my jaw, sorrow gripping me in its sharp, cold fangs. It didn't matter how sorry he was. It wouldn't bring Wolfshade back. Nothing would.

"Lightningfire?" a voice said from behind me.

I took a shaky breath, summoning my strength, and I lifted my face from Sagewhisker's shoulder.

Echosong approached me.

"I explained to him that he lost his memory," she said. "It really does seem like he can't remember anything since his half-siblings apprentice ceremony."

Echosong looked at me with pity in her blue eyes.

"You look like you're in pain. Did you injure your ribs again? Come back to the den—"

My fur bristled out.

"I can't go back in there," I blurted out, cutting her off.

Echosong blinked, taken aback.

"Why, Lightningfire?" she asked gently.

"He doesn't know who I am," I said, blinking hard as my voice shook. "I can't see his face and care about him so much and have him look at me like I'm a stranger! I'm not strong enough. It hurts too much."

My voice trailed off, and I screwed my eyes shut for a moment, digging my claws into the ground.

"Will you leave us, Sagewhisker?" Echosong meowed softly to the grey tabby tom.

"But—" Sagewhisker protested, shooting me a look.

"Please," Echosong insisted, staring intently at him.

He relented, giving her a stiff nod and padding away.

"Lightningfire," Echosong said, coming to sit by me.

I glanced over at her, and she gazed at me with her wise blue eyes.

"Can you imagine what Wolfshade is going through right now?" Echosong asked softly. "He's confused and lost. He's woken up in a place that he's not familiar with. His brother is dead, and there are hundreds of other thing that have happened that he has no clue about. The very cats around him are different than what he remembers. He needs someone to be there for him, to fill in those gaps in his mind. Someone who will be patient with him and who cares about him. Wolfshade needs you."

"How can he need me when he doesn't remember me," I whispered bitterly, staring down at the ground between my paws.

"That's exactly why he needs you so much," Echosong said.

"What about me?" I rasped, lifting my head slightly so I could look at Echosong out of the corner of my eye. "I need Wolfshade too. And, he's gone."

She pressed her muzzle to my ear comfortingly.

"I know you love him, and you feel like you lost him," Echosong said. "But, you haven't lost him. He's back! You two can be together again, you just have to try."

Echosong got to her paws. I stared out in the stream in front of me. Her encouraging words fell flat against my ears.

I was so tired. I'd already tried everything I knew how to do to help Wolfshade, and it never worked. I clenched the ground beneath my paws.

I just wanted to give up.

"How can I help him? I tried to help him. I tried to save him from the badgers. Then I tried to heal him with your herbs, but I failed both times. Apparently I'm a lousy warrior, and I'm not a medicine cat either. You are, but even you can't heal his memories," I said with a sigh, closing my eyes for a heartbeat. "I don't know what to do, Echosong."

"Let's start with walking back to the den to him," Echosong said softly.

I was motionless for a moment. Then I finally gave a slow nod. I opened my eyes and got to my paws. I turned away from the stream to face the camp again. Together, Echosong and I walked back to the medicine cat's den.

When we reached the entrance of the cave, I padded inside warily behind Echosong. Wolfshade was still lying in his nest, but now there was a pile of bones at his paws from his meal. He looked at me as we came inside the den, his uncovered eye sweeping over my form curiously. I froze when his eye settled on me.

"Er— hello," I meowed, my stomach twisting sickeningly.

"Hello," he said with a nod of greeting.

"I'm, uh, sorry for running out like that," I managed to say stiffly.

"It's okay," Wolfshade said, sounding as equally as awkward as I felt. "Echosong told me that I lost some memories, I guess... but that I knew you."

"Yeah," I said with a nod. "We know each other well. I was a bit shocked that you didn't remember me."

"I'm sorry," Wolfshade said.

He looked uncomfortable, like he felt bad for inconveniencing me with his memory loss. I gave my head a shake, shuddering at how terrible and weird this whole situation was.

"Lightningfire, right?" Wolfshade asked.

"Yeah," I said with a nod.

"That's a nice name," he said in his deep rumbling meow.

A purr of surprise rumbled in my chest.

"What is it?" he said, brow furrowing in confusion.

"Oh, nothing," I said. "It's just that you've told me something like that before."

"Oh," he said, blinking a few times.

Silence stretched between us again.

"So…" Wolfshade meowed finally, clearing his throat.

"You and I… You're my…" Wolfshade said.

I stiffened, Wolfshade's voice from the past echoing in my ears.

_'That makes me your… what?'_

"How do we know each other, I mean?" Wolfshade managed to say, giving his head a small shake.

"Oh. Well, um, it's a rather long story," I said with another nervous purr. "We've known each other for quite a while now, since I was an apprentice… We're friends."

I cringed as soon as the word left my mouth, a twinge of panic tightening in my chest.

_Idiot! You know that's not right! Say something else!_

"We're _good_ friends," I meowed quickly.

Wolfshade's uncovered eye narrowed slightly in confusion.

_Mouse-dung. Now I'm just confusing him._

I clenched my jaw, giving my head a tiny sharp shake.

_But, am I supposed to say? That he loves me and that I love him? Then he'd think I'm a complete mouse-brain, and he might never even talk to me again! I'm a stranger to him now!_

"Are you friends with Minttail too?" he asked.

My ears twitched back uncomfortably.

"No. Not exactly," I said, the words awkwardly dragged out of me.

"Is Minttail alright?" Wolfshade asked, his eye widening in concern.

"She's fine," I said with a sharp nod, trying my best to hide the jealousy that bubbled right beneath my words.

Wolfshade relaxed slightly.

"Are Egg and Sagewhisker alright? And, my mother?" he asked.

"Yes," I said.

"Tinycloud and Bouncefire?"

I hesitated, my stomach dropping down to my paws. I broke eye contact with him, staring down at the ground instead.

"Wolfshade…" I meowed quietly.

Echosong padded over to us, lying a small white paw on Wolfshade's shoulder.

"I'm sorry Wolfshade. Bouncefire is dead. He died in the same badger attack you and Lightningfire were in," Echosong said, her voice soft and sympathetic.

Wolfshade's uncovered eye widened in despair.

"No," he growled, digging his claws into his moss bedding, anguish in his green-grey eye.

"I'm sorry," I said, my heart twisting at the sight of the pain on his face. "I tried so hard to save him, but there were three badgers, against the three of us…"

Wolfshade turned his face away from me. He lifted one of his paws, pressing it to his covered eye.

"How could I have been attacked by three badgers? How could my brother have died, and I don't even remember it?" His words were quiet, but a deep growl rumbled in his throat.

I hesitated for a moment as the desire to comfort him warred with the confusion and repulsion I felt towards him now. The former won out— I couldn't stand to see him look so tormented and do nothing. I took a few steps closer, closing the distance between us and bending over to press my muzzle against his forehead. Wolfshade froze, glancing up at me. I pulled my head back.

"Bouncefire's last words to me were to tell you that he was sorry you both couldn't escape this one," I murmured.

Wolfshade gazed at me, grief dulling his eye.

"Thank you," he meowed softly.

"Why don't you rest for a bit, Wolfshade?" Echosong meowed gently. "You're still very weak. You need to get your strength back."

Wolfshade nodded. His expression was listless now, his eyes unfocused and staring at nothing. I sighed, glancing away from his pain.

"Can you fetch some thyme to help with this shock?" Echosong murmured in my ear.

I nodded and got to my paws. I limped slowly to the back of the den, easily picking out the sharp scent of thyme. I snatched up the herb, and I brought it over to Wolfshade, leaving Echosong to coast him into eating it and drinking a bit more water.

Soon he had drifted off.

* * *

News of Wolfshade's recovery and subsequent memory loss spread quickly through camp. In the sunrises following the day he woke up, the medicine cat's den was flooded with visitors coming to see him. I watched Wolfshade interact with our clan-mates from a distance. I had moved my nest to the edge of the den against the wall, as far from his as possible.

I had seen him purr as Clovertail came in, and she covered his ears in licks. I had watched as his uncovered eye went wide when Lionclaw, Briarspot, and Ravenfur entered the den.

"You're all so big!" he had gasped.

I had watched him joke and laugh with Egg and Tinycloud like no time had passed since they last talked. And, I had seen how Wolfshade touched noses with Minttail gently, and how she had bent down to murmur something into his ear.

Echosong never let the visitors stay very long. She said Wolfshade still needed to recover and regain his strength, and so he needed his rest. I'd never felt such gratitude towards Echosong as I did when she padded up to Minttail and told her she needed to leave.

In the times there weren't other cats visiting, Wolfshade and I spent some time talking. It was always awkward, but conversation was unavoidable, considering that it was only the two of us and Echosong living in the den. He was understandably curious about what he had forgotten, and there were a lot of new things for him to learn and a lot of new names to remember. He was determined to learn as much as he could about the cats he couldn't remember and their personalities. He told me that he wanted to be like he hadn't ever forgotten.

First I gave him updates on the cats he could remember. Then, I went through the major events of the past year; first explaining softly and sadly about how Frecklewish had died. Then moving on to how we met Whisperheart, Tatteredtail, and Iceshiver as rogues, and how they eventually joined our Clan. I talked about the troubles we had with the fox and how the rogues had saved me, Creamclaw, and Seedheart from it when we were only apprentices.

Then I talked more deeply about the cats he didn't know: I told him about Creamclaw and Seedheart, and about our new daylight apprentice, Sootypaw, and about Cherrytail's kits, Owlkit, Adderkit, and Ripplekit.

"Is Sharpclaw their father?" he had guessed.

"Yes," I had replied.

"I knew it," he had said with a smug flick of his tail.

I told him about my younger siblings, Wrenkit and Rosekit. Then I told him all about Nightstorm. I went on and on about my brother describing everything about him in detail, down to his missing ear tip, and how he'd gotten it by getting frostbite in the snowstorm.

And, finally, after I had nothing more to say about anyone else, he asked about the only cat that I hadn't talked about yet: me.

* * *

I had just finished my story about the snowstorm, and our conversation had come to a stop. Now I was grooming my side very gingerly, careful not to twist too much as I did it so my chest wouldn't hurt, when I heard Wolfshade suddenly speak from across the den.

"And, who are you?" he said.

Out of the corner of my eyes, I could see him gazing at me curiously. My eyes narrowed, and I paused my grooming so I could lift my head, studying him more closely.

"What do you mean?" I asked warily.

My brow furrowed deeper as my gaze grew more concerned. He rolled his uncovered eye.

"I haven't forgotten you again," Wolfshade said. "I know you're Lightningfire. I know you're a member of SkyClan and Leafstar's daughter. But, _who_ are you?"

"That's a difficult question to answer," I replied, the tip of my tail twitching. "In the grand scheme of things, who are any of us, really?"

Wolfshade gave a brief burst of a purr, and I couldn't stop my heart from clenching at the sound.

"You're stalling," he drawled.

I twitched an ear at him.

"Well look at that, you've already figured me out," I meowed drily, as I turned my attention back to grooming. "I don't think I even need to answer your question."

He narrowed his good eye at me.

"You didn't have a problem answering it for every other member of the Clan," he pointed out, straightening from his lounging position and tucking his paws under his chest.

The motion attracted my attention, and my gaze flitted over him briefly. His fur was a lot sleeker now, and his body was starting to fill out again. I could no longer see the shape of his bones under his pelt, at least. I glanced away from him, not wanting to seem like I was staring. I rasped my tongue down my fur a few more times before finally looking over at him again.

"Fair point, I suppose," I said with a small huff. "But, you have to agree that it's harder to answer a question like that when it's about you."

"Yeah," he said with a nod.

He didn't elaborate any more than that. Silence stretched between us, and he gazed at me expectantly. I sighed to myself. Clearly, there was no getting out of it.

_I suppose we have to talk about it at some point..._

"…Well?" he meowed after several long heartbeats passed.

"I'm thinking," I said, twitching my tail tip.

Wolfshade quieted, this time waiting patiently for me to speak.

I gazed at the ground, nerves suddenly swirling in my stomach like I had eaten a whole flock of butterflies.

I couldn't talk about me without talking about him, and about _us—_ a topic that I had managed to conveniently avoid until now.

I bit the inside of my cheek, my muscles tensing.

How do you tell someone that you love them when a pawful of sunrises ago, they didn't even know your name?

_The answer is easy: You don't._

I frowned at the whispering thought.

Could I not tell him about our relationship at all? Just omit every gentle touch or sweet word out of all our history?

_Maybe it would be easier like that. There would be an empty field for a new tree of our relationship to grow. While if I told him about our past, it would be like a tree trying to grow out of a rotting stump._

I winced at the thought.

A fresh start did sound appealing in someways. It would be nice to have our relationship be clean and new again. I could undo all the arguing that had happened before the badger attack. This whole predicament in someways was _caused_ by the trouble in our relationship... and I could erase it.

_Don't be crazy._

I gave my head a tiny shake.

_I have to tell him._

I imagined the pain I would feel watching him go about everyday being completely oblivious. And, it would be my fault. How could I live knowing that he didn't care for me because I never gave him the chance to?

And, besides... hiding the bad parts of our relationship from him was selfish. He deserved to know the full truth of the matter. What our relationship would turn out to be—a friendship or something more, was not only up to me to decide. He had to decide too... so he had to know.

"I've known you for a long time," I began in a soft voice.

Wolfshade pricked his ears and looked at me with interest.

"You became my best friend, and I'd like to think I was yours," I meowed.

A faint ray of sunlight poured in from the entrance of the den and fell across his glimmering gaze.

"You're still my best friend," I added, correcting myself.

His gaze flickered away from mine. My jaw tightened, and I turned my eyes to the ground.

I had known talking about it would be painful, but knowing that still didn't prepare me for the rush of sorrow that filled me like a rising tide. Judging by the aching hollowness of grief in my chest, I should be recounting the story of the two of us after his death. But, Wolfshade was right here... I was _talking_ to him. I shouldn't feel so much like he was gone.

"We first got to know each other when I was an apprentice," I said, doing my best to keep my voice steady. "Cherrytail was my mentor."

"She was mine too," Wolfshade said.

I let out a quiet huff of air.

"I know," I said, glancing over at him.

"Oh," Wolfshade said, casting his gaze down to his paws in embarrassment. "Of course."

"That's how we first bonded I think," I said softly. "She would always yell at you like you were still her apprentice too."

Wolfshade let out a quiet snort of laughter.

"Cherrytail would do that," he said in a mutter.

His purr coasted out my own. He looked up at me. We made eye contact for a moment before I looked away, clearing my throat.

"We spent a lot of time together. Doing mundane things like patrolling or hunting," I said, my gaze unfocusing as I got swept away by the memories. "Then one night, I tried to sneak out to go hunting alone, and you caught me."

From the corner of my eyes I could see Wolfshade was watching me intently.

"You didn't make me go back to my den. But, you didn't want to let me go hunting alone either. You said something about over-confident apprentices who sneak out alone get eaten by foxes."

I rolled my eyes to myself.

"So instead you came with me."

I finally turned my head to meet the full-force of Wolfshade's gaze. I blinked, a lump forming in the back of my throat and the ache in my chest deepening. The dark, green-grey color was so familiar.

"We hunted together," I whispered. "At the end of the hunt there was a nightingale singing in the forest, and you stopped and listened to its song. You were listening to a bird not because you were trying to track it and hunt it, but because _you liked the way it sounds_. And, I remember thinking you must be the weirdest cat in the world."

I shook my head, giving a sad, soft purr. Wolfshade cleared his throat awkwardly, shifting in his nest. He looked away from me, scuffling his paws in the moss. His pelt prickled in embarrassment even though I knew that hearing the story must feel like I was talking about a stranger.

I turned my eyes up towards the ceiling of the den, trying to imagine instead of the sandy, orange rock above our heads, it was a dark indigo night sky, stars twinkling down through tree branches.

"I thought you were the weirdest cat in the world, until I stopped and listened to the song too," I added in a quiet voice. "And, I realized it was beautiful."

My eyes searched the stone ceiling for a moment longer, but as much as I tried, I couldn't turn the swirling oranges and tans into a starry night. I lowered my gaze back down, resting it on my paws. I couldn't make myself look at Wolfshade, but I felt the heat of his uncovered eye on me.

"Things changed after that night. Or, I mean, it did for me. I began seeing you differently..." I murmured.

I took a deep breath, readying myself to continue.

"Lightningfire," Wolfshade said suddenly.

My gaze flew over to him as my heart lurched in hope. He couldn't, somehow, remember something... right? He was staring at me with a pinched, pained expression.

"I… I…" he stammered, searching for the words. "… Stop."

I recoiled, my ears flattening and hot hurt tightening my muscles. The fragile, vulnerable hope that had blossomed in my chest was stomped down by cold reality; gone as quickly as it came.

"I'm sorry. You asked—" I began defensively, my lip curling up.

"I didn't mean it like that," Wolfshade broke in quickly, the expression in his uncovered eye still pained. "I'm sorry. You're right. It's my fault for asking."

I clenched my jaw.

"What do you mean?" I said through my fangs.

"It's just…" he said, giving his head a small shake. "I mean, I suspected. The way you greeted me when I first woke up. How you looked when I couldn't remember your name… But, then you hadn't said anything to me, and I wanted to know."

I curled my tail tightly around my body like that could somehow shield me from his painful words.

"And, I was telling you," I shot back hotly.

"But, I shouldn't have asked," he repeated, his ears flattening guiltily.

Wolfshade looked away from me.

"I don't want to know," he murmured, unable to meet my eyes.

My stomach dropped to my paws.

 _"What?"_ I yowled, staggering to my feet.

I looked around the den, but it was empty. I remembered faintly that Echosong had left this morning to gather herbs, so no one was around to be upset by my outburst. Or, conversely... try to calm me down.

"It has nothing to do with you," Wolfshade said, managing to look up at me again. "I don't want to hurt you. You seem like a really nice cat, and you've been nothing but kind and helpful towards me… but it's just that I don't _know you."_

I dug my claws into the mossy nest.

"Do you think that I don't know that?!" I growled, my gaze scouring his.

He looked away again, and it felt like that little motion ripped through all my defenses.

The haphazard barriers I had thrown up between us— the distance I put between our nests, the detached conversations... they all came tumbling down. Then words and emotions were spilling out of me like water rushing from a broken dam.

"But, I do know _you,"_ I said, my voice almost begging as I stepped towards him. "And, I know what we have. And, I know that I _miss_ it. And, I miss you."

My gaze frantically searched his face, but Wolfshade continued to stare at the ground, refusing to lift his eye. My stomach twisted.

"Please, talk to me," I said, clenching my teeth against a choked sob. "That's all I've wanted you to do in a half a moon! To just wake up and talk to me."

Wolfshade lifted his gaze and my eyes met with his.

"I'm sorry, Lightningfire," he said quietly.

His face was an expressionless mask. I could see no emotion flickering in his eye.

"It's just that all of this, forgetting so much… it's too much for me to handle right now. I'm sorry," he repeated.

I swallowed, digging my claws into the ground to steady myself. My stomach clenched, white-hot pain blazing inside me. It was too much to keep in. My throat spasmed, desperate to spit out some of the burning poison.

I gave into the desire, hurling pain-laced words at Wolfshade.

"Fine," I hissed, blinking hard. "Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I don't know you."

I whirled around and dashed out of the den.


	35. Sealing Scars

I sprawled out on a large, flat boulder at the base of Rockpile with half-lidded eyes, lulled close to sleep from the warmth of the sun blazing down on my pelt. Under my belly, the rock radiated the sun's heat back upwards, soothing my aching ribs. As the sunrises passed, they healed more and more, but not as quickly as I wanted. My ears twitched, picking up the soft hum of conversation coming from my nearby companions. Nightstorm and Creamclaw were on my left side, teasing each other in low voices. On my right side, Whisperheart and Iceshiver lounged, purring at some joke I'd missed.

But, a different, clearer voice made my ears prick and eyes flicker open. It was Echosong.

_Mouse-dung._

My heart dropped to my stomach as I saw who was with her. Wolfshade and Echosong had walked out of the medicine cat's den and were heading right in my direction.

My stomach twisting, I looked away from him, staring out into the middle of camp instead, but still carefully tracking their progress out of the corner of my eye. I'd been spending a lot more time outside of the medicine cat's den since my last conversation with Wolfshade a few sunrises ago, doing my best to avoid him. We'd barely spoken since, but just yesterday, Echosong had taken him off of den-rest, allowing him to go out into the camp.

As my clan-mates bustled around the camp, I watched them greet Wolfshade cheerfully as he made his way across the clearing. Everyone seemed happy that he had recovered enough to go out into camp, and my pelt prickled with shame that I wasn't. I mean, _o_ _f course_ I was happy that he was recovering... it just hurt me too much to be around him. I at least had been able to have the camp to myself before, but now I've lost my last sanctuary from him.

Wolfshade and Echosong drew closer to the Rockpile, and I began to hear what she was meowing to him.

"…The cuts on your face have sealed so there's no more chance of infection," Echosong said. "It appears like you'll still have full vision in your eye, but I must warn you, the scarring on your face will be dramatic."

_They're taking the herbs off._

I froze in place, torn. Half of me wanted to leave, so I wouldn't be too close to Wolfshade, but the other half of me desperately wanted to see his face without the bandages obscuring half of it.

I hadn't yet made up my mind on what I should do by the time Wolfshade and Echosong walked by where I was sitting on Rockpile and came to a stop at a slow moving section of the stream.

Echosong turned to Wolfshade and began to peel off the herbs, using both her paws and rasps of her tongue. Almost against my will, I found myself slipping down from the boulder and creeping closer, as if I was a pebble rolling down a hill, completely at the mercy of a force too strong to be disobeyed.

Echosong started with Wolfshade's ear, revealing the full extent of the damage done there. The outer part of it was gone; the ragged edges were a light pink color, standing out in sharp contrast against the grey backdrop of the half of the ear that remained. Echosong then moved to his face, uncovering the four jagged scars. As the last clump of herbs fell away, Wolfshade blinked open his left eye, and he screwed it shut almost immediately, inhaling sharply at the bright sunlight. After a moment, he tried cracking it open again, and this time he managed it. The eye itself looked normal, although the scarring of the flesh around it kept it from opening fully, giving him a slight perpetual one-eyed squint. His deep grey pelt was starting to grow back in on some parts of his face, but it was clear no fur would cover the four reddish-pink scars that framed the eye.

I tilted my head, studying his face. To me, he still seemed handsome, despite the slash marks across half of his face. Both his eyes were bright and alert, and still the same pleasant grey-green.

"How does your eye feel?" Echosong asked. "Can you see fine? Does it move well?"

"Yeah. It's good," Wolfshade replied, blinking and flicking his gaze around the gorge.

Wolfshade took a step forward and peered down into the still pool of water to gaze at his reflection. I stared at him as he did so, but his expression didn't change the entire time he quietly studied his face.

My heart twisted as I watched him. Without the herb mask, he looked even more like the old Wolfshade. The Wolfshade I knew. I walked closer to him and Echosong, still under the spell of the same magnetic pull that got me off the rock and after them.

"...Wow. I'm lucky I have the eye," Wolfshade said finally, straightening.

He reached a paw up to touch his face.

"Those are a lot of scars," he muttered to himself.

"But, when it comes to overall scar area, I think I've got you beat," I joked, trying to cheer him up, flicking my ears back to indicate the long wound that stretched along my spine

Wolfshade glanced over at me, blinking. He purred softly in reply, but his gaze was distant.

_Oh._

My heart suddenly dropped. For a fraction of a second, as I stared at his familiar face, it had almost been like I had forgotten that he didn't remember me.

I dipped my head, walking over to lap up some water from the stream to cover my blunder. My pelt prickled with heat, and I could still feel his eyes on me. I swallowed hard against the lump forming in my throat.

_I've got to get out of here._

"Can I go gather that marigold that we're low on?" I said abruptly, turning to Echosong. "I never got it that other day."

I kept my gaze locked on her's even though I could see Wolfshade's eyes in the background, watching me.

"I don't see why not," Echosong said, although her eyes widened in surprise at my sudden question.

I dipped my head to her and quickly whirled around to stride down the bank of the stream and out of camp.

"Hey! Want some company?"

My ear twitched back as Sagewhisker came bounding up to me. I clenched my jaw, fighting back the sobs of grief and wails of frustration that threatened on the back on my tongue.

"Sorry. I want to be alone right now, Sagewhisker," I said, tightly, not looking over at him.

If I glanced at his face I knew I'd see that look of concern and gentle pity, and it would snap my fragile composure. And, I was _not_ breaking down right now, in front of the whole camp. I heard Sagewhisker's paw-steps falter as he fell back.

"Alright…" he meowed as I padded away.

I sighed as I brushed into the undergrowth. Some tension began to melt from my shoulders as trees popped up around me. The branches swayed soothingly over my head. The sunlight shone green down through the leaves. Tempting prey scents brushed my nose, making my mouth water. The forest felt very solid and unchanging. These trees had been here seasons and seasons before I was born, and they would remain long after I was dead. The permanence of it comforted me, especially given that the badger attack had so rudely reminded me how quickly the winds of fate could change.

I wanted to set out into the trees, to lose myself among the ancient sentinels. But, I wasn't healed enough to wander far. My ribs no longer ached with pain with every breath and step that I took, but I could still not climb or walk for long before they cried out in agony.

I turned my head away from the trees and towards the river instead, scenting the air for herbs.

As I walked down the river, I spotted a patch of marigold growing by a rock on the bank. I padded over to the herb, nipping off the leaves and flowers I wanted with an air of detached ease, my thoughts far away from my body. I gathered the herbs together and picked them up. I was steeling myself for the task of heading back to camp, and possibly having to face Wolfshade again, when a tree caught my eye from farther down the bank. It was an old willow growing out of the sandy shore of the stream and leaning over the water.

_Willow bark for infection._

Relieved to have a distraction to keep me out longer, I padded over to the tree, where I scraped my claws against it to pull back the hard outer bark and dig into the softer bark underneath. I clawed out slivers of the softer bark from the tree, then collected the fragments to bring back with the marigold. I picked up my bundle of herbs in my mouth and stood still at the edge of the stream for a few heartbeats longer.

_I should go back._

I hesitated.

_But, Wolfshade is there._

I took a deep breath, and I made myself walk back to camp, my paws dragging in the dirt. I padded slowly through the sandy gorge, and my eyes did not catch a glimpse of Wolfshade's familiar pelt in camp. My ears flattened. I knew that meant that he was likely in the medicine cat's den then. My feet slowed even more as I headed towards the cave.

"Lightningfire!" Leafstar called, bounding over to me from the cliff.

A surge of gratitude ran through me at her appearance. Another distraction. Good.

"Hi, Leafstar," I said, bending my head down to drop the herbs at my paws so I could talk.

"I wanted to check on you since we haven't talked much in the past few days. How are you doing?" my mother asked, concern for me shining in her eyes.

"I'm fine," I said, twitching an ear. "My ribs are healing well. I'm not doing anything that Echosong tells me not to do—"

"I meant about Wolfshade," Leafstar said, quietly interrupting me.

"Oh well. I think he's doing fine too." I tried to swallow, but my throat had suddenly gone dry. "He just got his bandages off this morning."

"But, are _you_ doing okay?" she said.

"Yeah. Why wouldn't I be? He's awake, right?" I said with a forced purr.

_Why doesn't she understand that I want her to distract me from Wolfshade, not ask me about him!_

Desperately needing to escape the conversation, I bent my head, going to grab the herbs.

"You know that's not what I mean," Leafstar said, draping her tail over my shoulders to stop me from walking away. "You hardly seem yourself. I know this must be really hard for you. Have you talked to him about anything?"

I bit the inside of my cheek to keep the despondent cries at bay.

"I've tried," I whispered. "But, I guess he needs some more time."

"This has been quite the traumatic experience for him," Leafstar murmured. "It's understandable if he's still processing things."

I nodded, keeping my expression tight under my iron grip of control.

Leafstar gave my forehead a soothing lick.

"Everything will end up alright," she said. "And, I'll always be here if you need to talk about anything."

I closed my eyes for a moment. I wanted to bury my face in her fur like I would have done as a kit, and forget about the worry of the world in her pelt's comforting touch and scent. But, I knew that this was a problem not even Leafstar could fix.

"Thanks, Leafstar," I said, opening my eyes.

I bent my head to actually pick up the herbs this time, and I walked into the medicine cat's den, my pace even since I knew Leafstar's watchful gaze was on me.

Wolfshade was the first thing I saw as I walked inside, but I was quick to slide my gaze away before we could make eye contact. My fur prickled as I noticed Minttail was there too, visiting him. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her press herself closer to his side as I strode past them and padded deeper into the cave, towards Echosong.

I ignored her as fiercely as I could even though my lip twitched, threatening to curl up in a snarl.

"Hello, Echosong, how's it going?" I called with forced cheerfulness in my voice.

She didn't look up at me from the herbs she was sorting, but she purred in greeting.

"Alright," she meowed. "Wolfshade had another headache, so I gave him some feverfew. We may need to collect more of that soon in case his headaches become more regular."

I nodded.

"Well I've got the marigold. I grabbed some willow bark too, so we won't be low on any infection preventing herbs in the future," I said.

She glanced over at me then.

"Thank you! I think you remember herbs better than some medicine cats," Echosong said with a teasing purr, her eyes shining.

I shrugged.

"I'm just happy to help," I replied, but my pelt still warmed from her praise, taking a tiny bit of edge off of my miserable mood.

As I put the herbs down next to Echosong and began to help her put them away, I felt the heat of Wolfshade's eyes on my back.

 _Keep ignoring them._ I reminded myself.

"Are you training to be a medicine cat now?" Wolfshade asked suddenly, and I stiffened in shock.

I whirled around towards him, my muzzle wrinkling up in confusion and surprise.

"No! I'm a warrior!" I gasped, shooting him a glare. "Being a warrior is what I've always wanted!"

Wolfshade just blinked and shrugged in response.

"Sorry. You just seem to be really good with herbs," he said. "I thought that maybe you'd decided to switch."

I clenched my jaw.

_Wolfshade should know how much I love being a warrior! Before the attack, he'd never think for one moment that I'd want to stop!_

I stared into Wolfshade's familiar eyes. How could I look at this cat and know every piece of fur on his pelt, yet his mind be a complete stranger to me?!

I wanted to wail.

_It isn't fair!_

"Lightningfire," Echosong meowed quietly.

I shook my head, snapping myself out of it. I turned towards the back wall to sort the herbs into their correct places. I heard Minttail murmur something to Wolfshade from behind me. I clenched my jaw again, glaring icily at the sandy wall in front of me. As Echosong helped me sort the herbs, she noticed my poisonous gaze.

"Minttail's bothering you," Echosong said quietly, a statement, not a question.

"She and Wolfshade stopped being close friends when they got into a fight moons ago!" I hissed to Echosong, but not loud enough for Minttail to hear. "But, now she's cozying right back up to him when he can't remember it! The fox-hearted snake!"

"If I recall correctly, you and Wolfshade also had a fight," Echosong said in a mild voice.

"Yeah, but we made up before the badgers attacked," I muttered bitterly, lashing my tail. "They never made up."

"So, what are you going to do about it? Will you tell him about his falling out with Minttail?" Echosong asked. "...I doubt Minttail will."

I was silent.

"He doesn't want to know," I said finally, the words like gravel in my mouth.

"Know about what?" Echosong asked.

I dug my claws into the ground, sorrow and frustration rippling through my pelt.

 _"Anything_ about him and me. He doesn't want to know about us because he thinks he doesn't think he knows me well enough," I muttered. "I'm a stranger to him..."

I dipped my head.

"...As much as he seems to me now," I added in a rasp.

Echosong was quiet for a moment as her paws worked busily sorting the herbs.

"I'm sure he'll come around," she said finally.

My ears flattened, a heavy weight of worry and grief in my gut.

"You don't know that," I muttered. "Besides, look at the two of them."

I flickered my ears back to indicate the two cats behind us and how close they were sitting.

"Wolfshade loved you, Lightningfire," Echosong said, turning to lock me in the full force of her clear blue gaze. "He can love you again. You just have to show him why he fell in love with you in the first place."

I clenched my jaw to bite back a cry.

"How can I if he doesn't want me to?!" I whined through my fangs, doing my very best to keep my voice hushed. "He doesn't _want_ me."

Echosong's eyes went round with sympathy.

"Oh, Lightning-" she began, but I jerkily stumbled to my paws, interrupting her.

My breaths were coming in and out in short, panicked gasps. It was all too much. This day. These past few sunrises. Every waking moment since the badger attack. It was all too much.

Echosong opened her jaws to continue, brushing one of her paws against my own to try to stop me, but I was already turning and staggering towards the den's exit. I had to get out of this cramped, suffocating den.

I needed air.

I couldn't breathe.

I was about to stumble out of the den and into the light when a familiar deep voice stopped me in my tracks.

"Are you alright?"

I froze as suddenly as I had lurched into motion, half turning my head back. I risked a glance at him. Despite the press of Minttail's pelt against his, and how she was scowling with displeasure, Wolfshade's green gaze was only focused on me.

"I—I just need a moment," I replied, my voice hoarse and raw.

I turned and hurried out of the den.


	36. Medicine Cat

Echosong allowed Wolfshade to move back up to the warriors' den a few sunrises after removing the herbs on his face. Besides his occasional headaches, he was recovering well physically and was more than capable of climbing the cliff to get to the dens, although, Echosong hadn't quite cleared him for full duties yet.

When he first left, I initially alternated between relief that I no longer had to be so close to him all the time, and jealousy that his body was healing faster than mine despite the fact that his memories were still broken. But, after a couple of days of only me and Echosong in the den, those feelings faded and I found myself growing lethargic and bored even though I still kept myself busy helping her with her herbs. It grew harder and harder to find a reason to get out of my nest in the morning. I begun sleeping in late and heading to bed early.

The den just seemed a lot emptier without Wolfshade...

Echosong let me have my sleep. She said that I was still recovering.

I stirred in my nest, waking when the sun was already above the trees. I lifted my head and looked around the den, searching for Echosong's grey tabby pelt, but the cave was empty.

_Echosong must be already out gathering herbs or doing... something._

I sighed and lowered my chin back down to my paws, listlessly considering my options for the day. I could go get some fresh-kill, but that would involve getting out of my nest. Maybe I'd just close my eyes and see if I could manage to sleep longer instead. Over the past few days I'd learned that if I lied very still and kept my eyes shut for long enough, sleep would eventually come. None of the insomnia of my apprentice days plagued me now. Now, if anything, I slept entirely too much.

_I'm not sure if that is worse or better._

I spent the better part of the morning drifting in and out a hazy, dreamless sleep, only fully surfacing around sun-high. Now thirst was what finally drove me to my paws and stumbling out of the den. I wasted no time with trying to groom my sleep-ruffled pelt, simply pointing my paws in the direction of the stream. The camp was fairly empty, which I felt a flash of gratitude for. No one would try to talk to me that way. As I went to lap water from the bank of the stream, the only cats I spotted were Waspwhisker taking a nap in some shade by the cliff, and Sootypaw carrying a bundle of dirty moss away from the dens.

My thirst taken care of, I aimlessly let my paws guide me forward. Instead of leading me back to the den, I found myself leaving camp, padding down the bank of the river. I walked through the forest, following the same trail I had walked a few days ago to gather herbs. When I reached the willow tree, I stopped.

I padded over to its base, brushing through the long tendrils of leaves to get there. The gashes I left on its side to collect bark were still plain and raw on the trunk. I lifted my gaze higher, towards the branches and the strands of green leaves that swayed gently in the breeze like long fur around me. I watched the sunlight glimmer through the curtains of leaves, turning the edges a pale, gentle gold. I sighed, enjoying the feeling of the warm dappled sunlight on my pelt and the sound of the wind sighing through the branches. Here next to the trunk of the willow, I was protected from the outside world, hidden from sight like a kitten nestled in her mother's long pelt.

My gaze lifted again, settling on the lowest branch of the tree. It was just a few tail-lengths above my head. In the past, I could have probably sprung onto it in one bound, but now it seemed as impossible to reach as was pouncing on a cloud. But, the wide, warm brown-colored branch looked extremely inviting... I could already see myself lounging on it, protected in the embrace of the willow.

The decision already made, I set my jaw in determination. Slowly, I rocked back on my haunches and reached up with my fore-claws to sink them into the bark. As I lifted my hind legs off of the ground, for a fraction of a moment, I hung suspended by only my front paws, and my ribs throbbed with bright pain. But, then I dug my back claws into the bark, and the pain subsided, the pressure taken off of my chest. Very carefully, I clawed my way up the trunk and to the branch, moving as stiffly as elder.

Panting, I crawled onto the branch, giving a wince at the throbbing of my ribs.

_Echosong would claw my whiskers off if she saw me right now._

My ears flattened.

_Maybe it was a mouse-brained idea. I don't want to make my injuries worse._

Thankfully though, the ache was already fading, so I couldn't've done any real damage. As I settled on the branch, I began to purr at the caress of the warm sun against my pelt, and my troubled thoughts were stilled by the peaceful presence of the forest... so I decided the pain was worth it.

I gazed out over the stream. The water sparkled and danced with sunlight, minnows flickering beneath the surface. The willow's leaves swayed in the breeze, and I found my breathing slowing as if to match their languid rhythm.

I stayed out there on the willow tree for as long as I could, dozing occasionally as the sunlight and breeze lulled me to sleep, and avoiding the Clan and all of my problems. But, as the sun dipped lower and lower towards the horizon, my stomach started to growl with hunger, and I decided I finally had to return home. I climbed down the tree slowly both because of my ribs and because I was reluctant to leave my perch and the embrace of the willow. Then, I padded back to the gorge.

As I entered the camp, I kept my gaze locked on the fresh-kill pile. My goal was to eat as quickly as possible and then go immediately back to my nest without having to interact with anyone, but I wasn't as lucky as I was earlier, and Sagewhisker appeared in front of me, his brow furrowed in concern.

"Are you alright?" he asked, his gaze flickering over me.

I tilted my head to the side, blinking in confusion.

_What is he talking about?_

My ribs were a little sore from the climb up and down the tree, but I wasn't in terrible pain nor was I limping. I knew my expression wasn't horribly tormented either; the time I spent alone with the willow had soothed my thoughts. I followed Sagewhisker's gaze down to my pelt, and I stiffened when I realized my fur was knotted and tangled, bits of moss, leaves, and dirt dotting it. I looked like I hadn't bothered to groom in a quarter moon.

_How did this happen? I just groomed... well it wasn't this morning, but yesterday...? No wait... or was it the day before? ...I can't remember._

Sagewhisker was still staring at me, waiting for a response, and I felt my ears growing hot with embarrassment both at my slow reaction and the state of my pelt.

"Yeah I'm alright," I mumbled. "Just hungry and tired. I think I'm gonna take a mouse to my nest."

"Well, okay..." he meowed hesitantly. "You can always let me know if you need anything."

I nodded and padded away from him at a fast pace, but not so quick that it seemed like I was _actually_ running away from him. I snatched up a mouse from the fresh-kill pile and made my way back across camp to the medicine cat's den. Some motion caught my attention, and my gaze flickered over to see that Sagewhisker was still down in camp, grouped together with Lionclaw, Briarspot, and Nightstorm, all of them talking together in low, worried tones. I saw Lionclaw shoot me a concerned look, and I quickly turned my gaze away from them, hurrying the rest of the way to the den. Thankfully, I managed to duck into the cave before they could intercept me.

I curled up in my nest with a sigh, putting my mouse down in front of me and eating quickly. As soon as I finished, I screwed my eyes shut and tried to sleep, hoping that if any of my friends came into the den after me, they'd see me in my nest and decide not to wake me up.

No one did, and soon my thoughts became more and more incoherent as I slipped off.

I blinked, suddenly finding myself surrounded by a thick, grey fog. My ears pricked, eyes flicking around warily as I tried to decipher where I was. I was unable to see much of anything in any direction, and I couldn't hear anything besides the whispering of the wind.

The cloud around me swirled, as tumultuous and confusing as the emotions that spun in my head. I stumbled forward, trying to break through the fog, and hope fluttered in my chest as I spotted a silhouette of a cat in the distance. My heart lurched as I felt a flash of recognition, and my eyes narrowed, trying to make him out better.

"Cloudstar?" I asked.

The cat didn't show any reaction to my call, but I tensed anyway. Somehow, I knew with deep certainty that it was him.

I sprung forward, bounding after him. Maybe he knew the way out of this confusing mess of fog. My chest heaved as I sprinted, but it seemed like I wasn't getting any closer to him. I ground my teeth together, pressing forward faster, but Cloudstar still stayed right on the edge of horizon no matter how hard I ran. A growl of frustration rumbled in my chest.

_"Cloudstar!"_

This time, although he was still so far away, he turned back to look at me as if he had heard my cry. I saw the glimmer of his blue eyes through the mist.

 _"What do you want from me?"_ I yowled in despair.

A wall of blackness suddenly rose up around me. I whirled around, my claws unsheathing, but it had surrounded me on every side. I winced, closing my eyes and bracing myself as it surged forward like a terrible wave and came crashing down on my head.

After a moment of stillness, I gingerly blinked my eyes back open, and immediately felt panic tighten my chest.

_Why can't I see?!_

I blinked hard, but there was just darkness in front of me. I whirled around, seeing nothing but more and more blackness no matter how I spun. I lifted my paw, waving it in front of my face, but I couldn't see even it. I touched my paw to my nose and felt the soft brush of my fur against my muzzle.

A shudder ran through me as a yowl echoed through the air.

Suddenly, the sounds of cats snarling and the echo of battle cries exploded around me. I felt pelts jostling me from every side, pushing and shoving me back and forth. Claws unsheathed, I whirled around, shoving my way through the cats around me. The battle raging around me was a little bit clearer now; I could see black shapes flashing, but they were still indistinct, wreathed in a dark fog. Panting with nervousness, I forced in a trembling deep breath, trying to calm myself. But, as soon as I inhaled deeply, I gasped and hacked as my lungs and throat suddenly started stinging and burning.

 _It's not fog! It's_ _smoke!_

I stumbled forward, still coughing and now water streamed down from my eyes,

"What's going on?" I shouted.

The darkness was punctured by a short, brilliant flash of white light from the sky. I screwed my eyes shut, temporarily blinded. The flash was followed by ringing silence; the sounds of battle and the pressure of jostling pelts gone. I stood alone in the soothing darkness for a moment, hearing a rumble of distant thunder.

I gasped, my eyes flying open.

I staggered to my paws, stumbling out of my nest and towards the mouth of the medicine cat's den. I poked my head outside, expecting to be greeted by a torrential downpour and the rolling of storm clouds.

It was a sunny, cloudless day.

My brow furrowed. Squinting and confused in the bright light, I stumbled back into the den. I collapsed back into my nest, and soon I was sound asleep again.

When I woke up for the second time it was sun-high, and the terrifying dream felt fainter in my mind.

_It must have just been a nightmare._

I rose in my nest, giving my fur a quick grooming, finally cleaning off the days-old leaves and dirt and undoing the worst of the tangles in my pelt. As I worked on flattening my fur, my thoughts remained on my dream, and my brow furrowed as I remembered the flash of the white and grey pelt.

_...Unless Cloudstar's trying to tell me something._

I shook my head to dislodge the thought.

 _Well if he is, he better send me another dream, and be a lot clearer about it next time._ I thought with an irritable tail-twitch.

I left the den to have a quiet meal, and when I'd finished, I saw Echosong was outside of the medicine cat's den, lying some herbs to dry in the sunlight. Eager to have something to do to distract myself from my dream, I joined her. For a while we lay the herbs out in companionable silence, working while our clan-mates bustled along around us, coming back or leaving on patrols. The amount of cats who were running around camp today at this time made me very grateful that I had taken the time to groom this morning. I wouldn't be attracting so many concerned looks this way.

Echosong finally broke the silence between us after we had almost finished laying out all the leaves.

"How are you feeling today, Lightningfire?" Echosong murmured lightly without looking up from her herbs. "Did you sleep well?"

There was an odd note in her voice that made my pelt prickle.

"Alright," I said, my paws stilling. "Why do you ask?"

"This morning you seemed like you were having a bad dream," Echosong said, glancing at me out of the corner of her eye. "You were twitching and mumbling about something."

"Oh," I meowed, bending my head to give my chest fur a self-conscious lick, trying to flatten my slightly bristling pelt. "I had a nightmare, but it was nothing."

I felt nervous about telling Echosong that I'd seen Cloudstar in my dream. I remembered how odd and intense her expression had looked the first time I had mentioned him, like I'd suddenly sprouted wings in front of her.

_I'm not even sure that this was a dream from Cloudstar or StarClan. It didn't make any sense! There's no reason to get her worked up about it._

"I heard you say Cloudstar's name," she murmured, glancing over at me again.

I froze.

_Mouse-dung!_

"...I thought he was in the dream, but I'm not sure," I finally admitted, my tail twitching. "I was running through fog, and I saw a grey and white cat in the distance. But, I couldn't catch him, and then it suddenly became pitch black... I could hear and feel cats fighting around me, but I couldn't really see anything to make sense of it. Then I woke up."

Thoughtful silence wreathed around Echosong. I glanced over at her to see her gazing out at camp, a faraway look in her eyes.

"Does that mean anything to you?" I asked, my chest tensing.

Echosong blinked and glanced back at me.

"No," she said, and I let out a sigh of relief.

"It must have just been a nightmare then," I meowed, turning back to the herbs.

Echosong didn't respond. But, my attention was pulled away from her and my dream, when out of the corner of my eye, I saw a familiar grey pelt as Wolfshade returned from the forest with Minttail. I locked my eyes on the ground, fiercely avoiding looking at them.

"No progress on Wolfshade?" Echosong asked, noticing my averted gaze.

"I'm open to talk when he wants to," I said, not looking at her either.

"Give him time, it's a lot to process," she assured.

I sighed heavily, screwing my eyes shut.

"I think he's avoiding me," I whispered. "He hasn't tried to speak with me at all since he moved back to the warriors' den... I'm afraid I've lost him."

Echosong brushed her tail down my flank comfortingly.

"Do you truly believe that?" she asked in a soft voice.

I shuffled my paws on the ground.

"Yes… No… Maybe," I said with a sigh. "I _really_ don't want to."

"I know," she murmured. "It must hurt badly."

I nodded tightly, still unable to lift my gaze to look at her. We finished placing the rest of the herbs out in silence.

"...There is something else that I want to talk to you about, though," Echosong said softly, drawing my gaze to hers.

She stared at me intently.

"I know that you are going through a lot right now with Wolfshade, and that your body is still healing as well... but I feel like StarClan has shown me this path," Echosong meowed with a solemn blink.

My brow furrowed, confusion and nervousness prickling my fur.

"What do you mean?" I asked hesitantly.

"You've been a great help for me this past moon," she said. "You're talented at identifying herbs, and you've pick up other medicine cat skills quickly. You're kind, compassionate, and clever. But, more than that, you also display a deep, innate connection to our ancestors. More so than even me."

I froze, my muscles tensing as I guessed where Echosong was going with this.

_Oh no._

My stomach flipped. I began to shake my head, but she barreled on.

"I haven't had an apprentice since Frecklewish's death, and I cannot serve SkyClan forever. Lightningfire, I think you could make a fantastic medicine cat," Echosong said, her eyes meeting mine.

I was surprised at the eagerness I saw there.

"I hope this doesn't come across as too forward, and I don't want to pressure you into accepting, but please, at least think about it," she insisted.

I continued to shake my head, with increasing vigor now.

"I don't have to think about it," I said quickly, my voice gentle but firm. "I'm sorry Echosong, but I cannot accept. I am a warrior."

Echosong blinked.

"It is possible for a medicine cat to be a warrior before StarClan turns their paws down the path of healing," she said.

"I know that. That's not what I meant. I'm a _warrior,"_ I repeated, getting to my paws.

I squared my shoulders, lifting my head.

"I swore to protect and defend my clan until my last breath," I said, my chest swelling with fierce pride as I remembered my vows.

"Isn't that what medicine cats do too?" Echosong said in a quiet voice.

My fur prickled with the beginnings of frustration.

"But, I don't _want_ to be a medicine cat," I said. "Even if-"

I bit my lip, not wanting to say the words out loud. But, I closed my eyes and forced them out.

"Even if Wolfshade and I never get back together," I managed. "I will always want to be a warrior. You are young Echosong. There is plenty of time for you to find and train another cat who loves to heal and help our clan-mates as much as you do. And, I will always reach out an aiding paw if you are overwhelmed, or if you need someone to grab you a bundle of herbs. But, I won't be a medicine cat."

I thought I saw despondence and frustration flash in Echosong's blue eyes for a moment before they became unreadable. I dipped my head to her, the formal nod of a warrior to a medicine cat, and I walked off.


	37. Something More

The sunset of the day after my conversation with Echosong, I moved back to the warriors' den. Climbing the willow tree made me realize that I was capable of making the climb up the cliff if I was careful, and for the past day, things had been really awkward between the two of us, after I had rejected her offer to train as a medicine cat.

Nightstorm, Lionclaw, Briarspot, Ravenfur, Creamclaw and Sagewhisker all greeted me warmly as I settled back into the warriors' den. Sagewhisker showed me the soft feather lined nest that they had made for me nestled between his nest, Briarspot's nest, and Nightstorm's.

The large nest I used to share with Wolfshade was on the other side of the den, and now my half of the it reeked of Minttail's scent. I didn't even bother hiding my curling lip when I walked past the nest and caught a wave of her scent. A small part of me spitefully wished that sometimes Wolfshade or Minttail would occasionally catch a whiff of my old scent when they curl up on the moss. I also hoped that when Wolfshade first moved back, my scent was still strong and it mingled with his. But, I knew that was unlikely, considering the length of time he was passed out and our nest was vacant.

I sat in my new nest, while Sagewhisker purred something excitedly to me about how he was certain that I would be back to warrior's duties in no time. I nodded and purred along, but I was only half-listening. My thoughts had drifted faraway from my body.

Wolfshade padded into the den. His eyes met mine for the briefest of moments before he looked away and padded to his nest to curl up. I hadn't anticipated the intensity of the disappointment that dragged at my belly.

"I'm feeling tired, Sagewhisker," I said as he paused for breath.

"Oh, okay," he said, blinking understandingly. "You need your rest."

I nodded listlessly.

"Goodnight," I murmured.

I curled up in my nest, bringing my tail to my nose and tightly shutting my eyes. A heartbeat later I felt Sagewhisker's flank brush mine as he settled into his nest. I sighed softly, wishing that the brush of fur was Wolfshade's instead of his. Then I drifted off to sleep.

A few sunrises later, I crept down the side of the cliff slowly, sighing when I finally reached the ground. I stretched in the sunlight, my muscles relaxed for a moment, but then I caught sight of Wolfshade and I immediately tensed back up. He had been cleared by Echosong for some light duties, and now he was walking out of camp on a patrol with Minttail at his side. I dug my claws into the dirt in anger and frustration as I stared at Minttail's grey tabby pelt.

_If only Wolfshade would quit being such a mouse-brain, I could talk to him before Minttail sunk her fangs any further-_

"You know staring and sulking isn't going to make anything better," Echosong called from a few fox-lengths away.

I turned towards her, blinking in surprise that she'd spoken to me. We hadn't interacted much in the past few days, since the conversation about becoming a medicine cat. I dipped my head to her and padded over, secretly hoping she wouldn't mention anything of her offer from before. I wasn't in the mood to tactfully deal with that.

"And, what would you know about that, Echosong?" I said, trying to keep my mew playful. "You're a medicine cat. No mates remember?"

I did my best to look friendly on the outside, but inside, my stomach churned with bitterness. I was angry. At myself, at Minttail, and at Wolfshade, but also a bit at Echosong, for asking me to do something I didn't want.

 _Echosong did nothing wrong._ I chided myself. _All she did was ask me._

She just wanted to do what was best for our Clan.

"I wasn't always a medicine cat," Echosong replied with a purr, her eyes sparkling.

I blinked, my eyes widening as I remembered that Echosong had once been a kitty-pet. With ancestors and traditions that stretched back generations and generations, it was sometimes easy to forget that our Clan was still so young.

I felt my anger towards her ebb away as I imagined her young and confident, courageously leaving her home and two-legs to join SkyClan.

"That's right," I said, my tone becoming teasing. "Well, are you going to regale any of your tales of romance and heartbreak?"

Echosong purred, but then turned her head to cough into her shoulder. My humor evaporated, as my brow furrowed in concern. I took at step closer to her.

"Are you alright Echosong?" I asked.

She dismissed my worry with a wave of her tail.

"I'm fine," she said. "I just had a feather from my meal stuck in my throat."

I blinked, not entirely convinced.

_But, a medicine cat must know if she is getting sick, right?_

"Although I think I'll save the stories for another time," Echosong purred after clearing her throat.

She circled me to inspect my injures.

"How are you feeling?" she asked.

I shrugged.

"No more achy than usual," I meowed.

"Your scars have healed well," Echosong commented, flicking her tail to indicate the long slash of pink skin that ran on my back from my shoulder to hip.

"It's an impressive wound," I agreed.

"Lightningfire!" a voice called, interrupting our conversation.

My ears pricked, and I glanced up to see Sagewhisker bounding over to me.

"Hey. I know your ribs aren't quite healed enough to go hunting yet, but I was wondering if you wanted to take a walk around the forest with me or something?" he asked.

My stomach clenched.

Alone, in the woods, with Sagewhisker? ...That seemed like a recipe for disaster.

"Oh, uh—" I meowed awkwardly, my gaze flashing from Sagewhisker to Echosong.

I made eye-contact with her, and I widened my eyes slightly to convey my silent panic.

_Help me!_

But, Echosong just dipped her head in farewell.

"See you later, Lightningfire," she said, shooting me a knowing look as she turned away.

I glared at her retreating back, hoping she could feel the sting of my displeasure from my gaze boring into her pelt.

_Some friend you are!_

My tail tip twitched as I slowly turned my gaze back to Sagewhisker. The pale grey tom was waiting patiently for my answer, his eyes bright. I chewed the inside of my cheek indecisively, my thoughts whirling.

_Well, it's not too late to fake injury or sickness and get out of it. Oh StarClan, I hope he didn't overhear me telling Echosong I was feeling well..._

My ears flicked back.

_But, that's not even a good plan. If I tell him I'm not feeling well, then he'll just ask me to go another time. It wouldn't really solve my problem._

I blinked, considering a different option.

Maybe I was overthinking it...

 _What's the harm in saying yes? I'd enjoy a walk in the forest with a friend._ _I just don't want to give him the wrong impression. We are after all, just friends._

Sagewhisker's patient eyes met mine. In comparison to how cold and distant Wolfshade's gaze has been recently, Sagewhisker's pale green-blue eyes felt like basking in a warm pool of sunlight.

I hesitated, my heart clenching in pain.

Did I really just want to be friends with him? Right now it felt like Wolfshade had no interest in getting back together with me. But, Sagewhisker liked me... If there was really no hope left for me and Wolfshade, I guess Sagewhisker and I could be something more.

My stomach flipped at the thought.

_Do I want that?_

My heart thrummed nervously in my chest.

I wasn't sure.

"Um… okay," I agreed after another moment of hesitation.

"Great!" Sagewhisker said.

His eyes lit up with eagerness, and my regret was immediate. A sudden sinking feeling tugged at my stomach, and my muscles tensed in anxiety.

_Mousedung. This was definitely a mistake._

As we padded towards the edge of camp, my paws dragged, and I dropped behind him. I spent every step frantically trying to think about how I could tactfully abort this walk. My thoughts whirled.

_This isn't fair to him. I definitely don't like him as much as he likes me. He's a nice cat, but right now, I can't imagine being with him... How do I get out of this?_

I was about to fake a shoulder injury or start complaining about my ribs when I caught a glimpse of Sagewhisker's excited face as he turned to look at me.

"I'm really glad you're feeling better now," Sagewhisker said. "I've missed going on patrols with you."

I felt a stab of guilt in my stomach.

Was I being mean by wanting to so badly get out of talking with him? It's not that I _didn't like_ hanging out with him. But, I didn't really, _really_ like him.

I wanted to growl in frustration.

_Why does this all have to be so confusing?!_

But, instead I just nodded at Sagewhisker, picking up the pace so that we were side-by-side as we entered the forest.

_I guess one walk can't hurt…_

"Thanks. I think I can go back to doing some warriors duties soon," I said. "I feel like a useless lump. If I have to take it easy for much longer, I'm going to go crazy. You won't believe how boring sitting around camp for close to a moon is."

He purred lightly.

"Well when I broke my leg as an apprentice, I was trapped in camp for a moon, so I can believe it," he teased.

I blinked.

"Oh. I forgot that that happened to you," I meowed.

I shot a glance at the leg he had broken. It looked just like his other legs, and he didn't walk with any hint of a limp.

"I hope my ribs heal as well as your leg," I continued. "How did you manage being stuck in camp for so long?"

He shrugged.

"It was hard," he said. "My warrior ceremony was delayed because of it. It was definitely rough seeing Minttail and the other apprentices training without me. And, especially hard to see her get her warrior name before I did. I tried to be happy for her... but honestly I was a bit jealous."

His tail twitched as if he still felt a little guilty about that.

"I know I wouldn't have been very happy if Nightstorm got his name before I did," I confessed as I imagined myself in his position. "It feels like we did practically everything together when we were younger... and we always were competing with each other over those things too. It would've driven me up the wall to have him beat me to being a warrior. Even if the reason my ceremony was delayed was because of an injury."

Sagewhisker purred.

"I know what you mean," he said. "Minttail and I were super close before my accident. But, then afterwards, it felt like she was on a whole other level than me, and she'd gotten closer to the other apprentices."

I was silent for a moment as I imagined a younger Sagewhisker and Minttail.

"The other apprentices..." I echoed him. "When you started your training, Bouncefire, Wolfshade and Tinycloud were apprentices too, right?"

"Yeah," he meowed, glancing over at me out of the corner of his eye.

"What was it like training with them?" I asked, careful to keep my voice from sounding too interested in hearing about a younger Wolfshade.

"We were a tight-knit group," he said, staring back out into the forest. "I think especially so since the five of us were SkyClan's first kits."

He chuckled quietly to himself.

"Minttail and I were always following the older litter around. We really looked up to them. When we first started staying with SkyClan, Petalnose actually wasn't sure that she wanted us to join permanently, but Minttail and I couldn't understand why not. The older kits always talked about how they were going to be warriors, and there was nothing Minttail and I wanted more than to do the same," he said, his eyes unfocusing as he lost himself in the memories. "Wolfshade was always the quieter one. Tinycloud was fiery, even as a kit. But, Bouncefire was the most adventurous one, and he was the one always getting the rest of us into trouble... Although he was always the one helping us get out of trouble too."

Sagewhisker's voice trailed off, and sadness welled in his gaze.

"You must really miss him," I murmured, my stomach twisting as an image of Bouncefire's body flashed in my mind.

"I do," he sighed, his whiskers drooping.

We were silent for a few moments.

"It sounds like the five of you were really close," I muttered, breaking the silence.

"Yeah," he said, shooting me that strange side-ways glance again.

Quiet settled over us as we traveled deeper into the woods.

It felt like a stone had appeared in my stomach. The reminder of Bouncefire's death had already soured our moods, and now as my thoughts turned to Wolfshade and Minttail, I found myself becoming even more depressed.

 _No wonder he and Minttail seem inseparable now. They were a tight-knit group,_ _while he hardly knows me now. He and I had moons to get to know each other before... but those memories are all gone. Now all he remembers is Minttail. How can I compete with that?_

Insecurity made my footing shaky, and I had to concentrate in order to step over a twisting root.

_I can't. It's hopeless._

"You're thinking about him aren't you?" Sagewhisker asked, snapping me out of my thoughts.

I blinked hard and glanced over at him. I noticed with a jolt how much further we'd walked into the forest while I'd been lost in my brooding.

"Huh? Bouncefire?" I asked.

Sagewhisker shook his head, a rueful expression creeping over his face.

"No," he murmured. "Wolfshade."

My stomach lurched. I bit the inside of my cheek and glanced away from Sagewhisker.

"...Yeah," I admitted in a whisper.

"I thought so," Sagewhisker murmured.

When I looked back over at him, he was staring out into the trees again, his gaze resigned.

"You must know that I like you," Sagewhisker said in a quiet voice.

I jolted in surprise at the sudden admission.

"But, I don't think I can compete with him," he murmured.

I stopped walking, Sagewhisker halting next to me.

"Sagewhisker..." I began hesitantly. "You're a great cat..."

"Why do I sense there's a 'but' coming?" Sagewhisker said with a dry, humorless purr as he continued to stare out into the trees.

My ears flattened.

 _"But,_ I'm still trying to figure things out about Wolfshade," I said. "Even if I could imagine something with you, it's not something that I could think about right now."

Sagewhisker glanced at me then, his gaze solemn.

"Even though Wolfshade might not want to be with you?" he asked.

My stomach lurched, and I dug my paws into the ground.

"Do you know something?" I asked in a harsh whisper. "Has Minttail said anything to you?"

Sagewhisker shook his head.

"Nothing specific," he sighed. "But, I have eyes, the same as you. I know you must've seen them together."

I clenched my jaw and looked away from him.

"I have," I muttered to the ground. "But, just because he's forgotten his feelings for me, doesn't mean the way I feel about him has changed. Yes, I hope that he wants to be with me. But, if not, that doesn't change the fact that I still love him... Even if he forgets me a thousand times."

Sagewhisker nodded and sighed again. I glanced back over at him.

"I'm sorry if I ever gave you the wrong impression," I meowed. "You're a good friend, and I care about you, but not in that way. I don't think I'm the right cat for you... and you're not the right cat for me."

"I understand," Sagewhisker murmured.

He looked forlorn, and my chest tightened. I was trying to be as nice as possible about this, but I knew that I was still hurting his feelings. It didn't seem fair; not when he was such a nice cat.

"I would like to still be your friend, but I understand if you need space," I said in a soft voice.

He shook his head.

"I was foolish to even hope in the first place. I should've never even brought it up," he said with a hint of bitterness in his voice. "The badger attack must have been really traumatic for you, and what happened with Wolfshade on top of it... It was selfish of me to say anything when you're still dealing with so much physically and emotionally."

"It has been really hard," I muttered.

_Maybe things would be easier if I did love Sagewhisker though. That way we could get together, and Wolfshade and Minttail could, and we'd all be happy._

"But, it's okay," I added, touching my tail-tip to his shoulder. "I guess it's better that we talked about it, than leaving it to loom over our heads, right?"

"You're probably right," he said, and I could see that he was trying to put on a more cheerful expression. "How do you feel about us finishing our walk then, as friends?"

I purred quietly.

"I'd enjoy that," I murmured.

As the sun set, staining the sandy gorge red, we padded back to camp. Silence had lapsed between us during the last leg of our walk, and now the only sound I could hear was the rusting of the undergrowth in the wind and the chirping of the birds in the trees. As we rounded the corner to enter camp, I spotted Minttail and Wolfshade walking together, side-by-side towards us, like they were getting ready to head out of the gorge.

For a moment, a sudden rush of bravery filled me. My conversation with Sagewhisker had given me new clarity about my situation with Wolfshade. Although it might be easier if we could just quietly go our separate ways, I was sure now that it wasn't something that I could do. I had to tell Wolfshade how I felt.

The surge of strength knotted in my stomach, filling me with crackling, nervous energy. I stared at Wolfshade and Minttail.

_I can do this. It's now or never._

I took a deep breath, steeling myself.

"Give me a moment, Sagewhisker," I murmured to him before I went bounding away.

I dashed over to Wolfshade and Minttail, coming to a skidding stop, and forcefully halting the two of them in their tracks.

"I need to tell you something," I blurted out to Wolfshade, my pelt prickling with tension.

Wolfshade blinked at me, his gaze confused and uncertain, but I didn't wait for an affirmation. I locked my eyes with his and dug my paws into the ground, bracing myself.

"I know you told me that you don't want to know. And, that you need time, and space, and whatever, and I've been giving it to you," I said, the words rushing out of me like flooding water.

I took a deep breath, unsheathing my claws and sinking them into the sand.

"But, I'm tired of waiting because it's killing me," I said.

Wolfshade blinked at me, surprise and confusion mixing on his face.

"And, you know what?" I continued, hot hurt bubbling up beneath my words now as my emotions rushed over me. "I don't think you need more time; I think you're just scared. You're scared because it's all new to you since you can't remember and that makes you afraid. And, I get that. But, these memories, what you've forgotten, it isn't just about _you_. It's about me too."

I stared deeply into Wolfshade's eyes, searching his gaze with mine intently.

"And, you're hurting me, and I've done nothing wrong," I said, my voice breaking slightly over the words.

I swallowed, steadying myself, and I continued.

"So, you can keep hiding from me and avoiding me as much as you want. But, you can't hide from the past, and you can't change it either, even if you can't remember it. Because it _happened,_ Wolfshade."

I stared into his green eyes.

"I loved you. I'm still in love with you," I said, my voice a rasp.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Minttail's lip curl back in anger. She lunged forward to snap something, but Sagewhisker leapt in front of her, blocking her from running to me. Minttail's green eyes flared in outrage as she glared at her brother blocking her, then she slid her gaze away from him to watch Wolfshade, waiting for his response.

I stared at Wolfshade too. This whole time, his gaze had never left mine.

Wolfshade's eyes stretched wide as he stood frozen in shocked silence.

Blood pounded in my ears as I waited. I knew in reality only a few heartbeats passed, but it felt like moons before he finally spoke.

"I'm sorry, Lightningfire, but I'm not that cat any more," Wolfshade mumbled, dropping his gaze from mine.

I closed my eyes, my heart tearing apart in my chest.

"I understand," I whispered, opening my eyes and forcing myself to look at him.

I tensed my jaw, trying to control the pain in my words.

"I just had to tell you once. I never got the chance to before," I mumbled.

I stepped forward and tilted my head to press my nose to Wolfshade's. His gaze flickered up to mine in surprise, and I stared into the eyes I once knew so well.

"Goodbye, Wolfshade," I breathed with the finality I had whispered into Bouncefire's fur the night of his vigil.

Then I stepped back and turned aside, leaving the three of them standing in the camp. With the quickest pace I could manage, I strode into the forest and didn't look back.

I brushed through the quickly darkening undergrowth, sighing in relief as I disappeared from their sight, but behind me I heard the sound of paw-steps and snapping twigs.

"Lightningfire!" Sagewhisker called. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. I just need a moment alone, Sagewhisker," I said around the lump in my throat, continuing to press through the ferns.

Sagewhisker's paw-steps slowed.

"Okay... let me know if you need anything," he said.

Then it was just me in the forest.

I clenched my fangs, not able to help comparing Sagewhisker's response to what I imagined Wolfshade would do, if I had stormed off into the woods, deeply upset, in front of him.

_Wolfshade would have gone after me. He would've known that I wasn't actually okay._

I shook my head, sending those thoughts away.

_No. That Wolfshade is gone. This Wolfshade would not have run after me either._

The dark trees loomed over me, completely silent except for the swirling of the wind through the branches. I walked with no destination in mind, my pace slowing the longer I traveled so I could keep the ache of my ribs at bay. I walked for a long time, and eventually, I reached the scent markers that announced the end of our territory. I paused at the border, staring out into the unfamiliar forest ahead.

_What if I just kept walking? How long would it take the Clan to notice I was gone?_

They'd surely send a search party out, but when they tracked my scent to the border, would they keep going? How far would my family and friends go to get me back?

I gave my head a rough shake, stopping the ridiculous thoughts and turning aside.

Why was I even thinking these things? Running away would not solve any of my problems, only create new ones. I would miss my friends and family so much. And, anyways, what would I even do without my Clan? Could I even survive on my own? I could try to become a kittypet I suppose. I knew from the daylight warriors that some two-legs were nice. But, they also said that some of them kept their kittypets inside all of the time, and I couldn't imagine never seeing a forest again... so I guess if I was without my Clan, I'd become a rogue. I'd live on my own, hunt on my own, and maybe one day find a nice cat who'd become my mate, and we'd raise a litter of kits together.

As I padded away from the border, I cast a final glance over my shoulder towards the unknown trees.

_Maybe being a rogue wouldn't actually be all that bad._

I gazed into the distant forest for a moment longer before I turned back towards the camp.

The only problem was that when I imagined my hypothetical rogue mate, I could only see Wolfshade.

My pace was so slow that it was the dead of night when I finally made it back to the camp. I hovered around the edge, hiding in the shadows behind the boulders and bushes.

_Do I really want to go back to my nest?_

I hesitated, looking out over the sandy gorge that stretched in front of me. Dread weighed me down as I imagined my friends and family staring at me in concern as I crawled into my nest. And, I'd have to put on a strong face for them.

_"I'm fine."_

I shook my head. I didn't think I could convincingly manage that lie right now.

Finally, I decided to turn back to the trees.

Far past the edge of our camp, but before the forest proper took root, the gorge walls were low. There, I scrambled up the small cliff. It should have been an easy climb, but I was left panting at the top, short of breath, and ribs aching. After I recovered for a moment, I heaved myself up and turned back in the direction I came, walking back along the top of the cliff towards the camp again. The trees faded to make space for the field that stretched out above the gorge. I made it back to where our camp was, but now I was on the top of the cliff above the dens, high off the ground. I couldn't climb directly down the cliff, but more importantly, other cats couldn't climb directly up. I sat on the grassy cliff top, careful to stay a few tail-lengths from the edge, so I didn't knock any stray pebbles down into the camp, and I turned my eyes upward to Silverpelt.

 _What have I done to deserve this?_ I asked the stars.

They were as silent as always.

I sighed, bowing my head.

_Oh, Wolfshade._

I was filled with deep mourning and grief, but also a strange sort of acceptance crept over me. I felt oddly... at peace.

I had seen there was no hope to mend our relationship. I had stared deep into the eyes of the cat I once knew and said goodbye to the Wolfshade I loved. And, now I could finally move on.

It was like there had been a huge thorn buried deep inside my pad, and I had been walking on it for sunrises and sunrises. But, now I've pulled it out.

The wound was deep, and it still hurt. It hurt badly. But, without the thorn, the puncture could heal. It just might take some time.

I lay down, crouched under the indigo sky. I stared down at the quiet camp below me. I seemed both close to my clan-mates, but also unfathomably distant, as if I was watching over them from Silverpelt itself.

I turned my gaze back up to the stars, my thoughts turning to my dead clan-mates up there.

_My Wolfshade is dead. He died with his brother when the badgers attacked us, but I've only just realized it._

I stayed awake all night, holding vigil for the cat I loved, until the sky began to lighten, turning pink with dawn.

Only then did I curl up right where I had sat, closing my eyes and letting my exhaustion wash over me.

* * *

"I want to know," a voice rasped from behind me, snapping me out of my sleep.

Startled, I leapt to my paws and whirled around, sending pain jolting through my chest. Wolfshade stood uncertainly a few fox lengths away, partly in the edge of the woods. He was wreathed by shadows, but his eyes gleamed in the pale light of the barely rising sun. Our gazes met, and he seemed to rally his confidence. Wolfshade took a step forward, the shadows falling from his face. My paws shook, but I couldn't tell if it was from exhaustion or emotion. I had to dig my claws into the ground to hide their trembling from him.

"What?" I croaked, my voice hoarse from not speaking all night.

He lashed his tail and flexed his claws, but he didn't seem frustrated with me— more with himself. He paced agitatedly for a moment, turning to look at me over his shoulder.

"I want to know everything. What I've forgotten..." His voice trailed off, and his gaze flickered up to meet mine.

"What I've forgotten about you."

My breath caught in my throat. For that heartbeat that our eyes met, it was like a fiery connection blazed between us, and for an instant, he was my Wolfshade again. But, then he lowered his eyes and the moment ended.

He shook his head.

"I'm sorry about what I said before. The truth is… you're right," Wolfshade meowed, staring down at his paws. "I was scared. I _am_ scared. It's a lot…"

His voice trailed off as he struggled with what to say. His tail tip twitched, and he took a deep breath.

"…To find out that things I thought I knew aren't true," he muttered in a low, gravely voice. "That so many things have happened, but to me, it feels like they didn't. It's scary to wake up one day and be told you love someone and not even remember her face."

I winced slightly like his words were a physical blow. Wolfshade took a step towards me, his expression pained.

"I'm sorry. Please, hurting you is the last thing I want to do. I—I don't know what we were, or are, or are supposed to be…"

His voice trailed off.

"And, I know the memories may be gone forever… But, I can't help feeling like I'm only living a _fraction_ of my life. I don't want to hide from the rest of it anymore. I owe it to myself to at least try to remember. ...And I owe it to you," he meowed, gazing at me.

 _You do,_ a quiet, selfish voice whispered in my head.

I silenced it with a flick of my ears.

"And who knows…" Wolfshade looked at me with a shy, hesitantly hopeful expression. "Maybe something you say, somehow, will bring the memories back."

I hesitated, blinking at him and unable to find the words to respond.

_What should I do...?_

I gave my head a tiny shake.

 _Tell him everything, mouse brain,_ I replied to myself.

My jaw clenched.

_...But, is that the right decision?_

Every sunrise since the badger attack, I'd woken up in pain, knowing Wolfshade was gone from me. And, now he wanted to try to know me again... Any chance, any tiny flicker of hope that he could be mine again made me want to help, to try to make that happen. But, really, what was the chance that he would remember? That he would love me?

A heavy weight fell down into my belly like I'd swallowed a stone.

_I would only be putting myself through more pain. Raising my hopes just to dash them against the boulders again._

I just pulled this thorn from my pad. How stupid would I have to be to step on it again? _On purpose?_

I stared at my paws, my shoulders hunched in despondence. But, slowly, my gaze lifted back up to him. Wolfshade stared at me, waiting for my response.

I looked into his eyes, feeling my heart ache more and more powerfully in my chest with every beat.

_But… I love him. I want us to be together._

Maybe it was stupid. Maybe love _made me_ stupid. But, there was nothing I could say to myself to argue with that fact.

I began to nod, slowly at first, but with quickly escalating vigor.

"What do you want to know?" I said.


	38. Familiar Friends

Wolfshade swallowed nervously.

"Everything," he meowed, meeting my eyes steadily despite the prickling of his pelt.

The edges of his fur were beginning to glow as dawn brightened into morning. I stretched the stiffness from my limbs and shook out my pelt. The sun had begun warming my fur, and as the clear light of day strengthened, so too did the confidence and hope in me.

I wasn't dreaming. Wolfshade was here, and he _wanted_ to be here. He wanted to talk to me. And, for now, that was more than enough.

"That's a lot to discuss," I meowed, getting to my paws and padding over to him. "So, I guess we should get started."

I stood at his side, but I still kept a careful distance between our pelts. Despite my newfound hope, I wasn't foolish enough to think that just because Wolfshade was here that it meant that things could just suddenly go back to the way they were before. Wolfshade glanced at me, golden light reflecting in his eyes.

"Should we go for a walk?" I asked, inclining my head towards the forest. "Or are you busy? Do you have patrols to be on this morning?"

He blinked, a sheepish expression drifting over his face.

"Well… Maybe. I don't know. I left camp to look for you before dawn, so Sharpclaw wasn't up yet to assign patrols," Wolfshade said, his tail twitching guiltily.

A soft purr of amusement rumbled in my chest at his embarrassment, but, secretly, my heart warmed to know that he had cared enough to go out searching for me, even if it meant missing patrol assignments.

"Sharpclaw will have your pelt," I teased gently.

He arched a brow at me.

"Maybe I'll tell him that I forgot what patrol assignments are," he meowed drily.

My amused purr rumbled louder.

"Do you think that'll work?" I asked.

Wolfshade shrugged.

"We'll find out," he said.

"It sounds like you're taking the day off then," I meowed, tilting my head to the side.

"I suppose so," he agreed.

The warm feeling spread throughout my chest. I pointed my muzzle towards the trees.

"Should we get going?" I asked.

"Alright," Wolfshade replied, giving a nod.

I led the way into the forest. When I stepped into the dark shadows beneath the trees, I yawned suddenly as my body reminded me of the fact that I didn't sleep at all last night. But, then Wolfshade was at my side, and my exhaustion was chased away by a surge of nervousness. The last time the two of us had any sort of proper conversation was over a moon ago, before the badger attack, and Wolfshade was a different cat back then. I hardly knew how to even start this conversation with him now.

Luckily though, Wolfshade chose to speak first.

"How are your wounds feeling?" he murmured, gazing out into the forest as we walked. "Will you be able to return to warrior's duties soon?"

"They're healing well," I said. "It's mostly just my ribs which occasionally hurt now. They were broken so I think the bones have been taking awhile to heal. But, I think I should be able to start hunting and patrolling again soon. Now they only hurt really if I do something mouse-brained."

Wolfshade nodded, glancing over at me out of the corner of his eye.

"And, while you've been confined to camp, you've been helping with medicine cat duties?" he clarified.

I nodded.

"It's useful to me to keep my paws busy," I said. "It stops me from pulling my own fur out."

Wolfshade chuckled lightly.

"Do you do that often? Pull out your own fur I mean," he said.

I purred.

"Not really," I said with a wry twitch of my whiskers. "I mostly leave that to Rosekit, Wrenkit, and Cherrytail's litter."

"Do you spend a lot of time with the kits?" he said, growing serious again and tilting his head inquisitively.

"As often as I can," I meowed, my purr rumbling louder in my throat. "I love those little hellions."

Wolfshade glanced away from me, his fur prickling slightly.

"I'm not that good with kits," he murmured.

I softened as I gazed at him.

"I know," I said.

He looked back over at me, his eyes widening slightly in surprise.

"You're afraid of stepping on them when they're little," I added. "And, you don't know how to act when they get bigger."

Wolfshade huffed, shaking his head incredulously for a moment in silence.

"What else do you know about me?" he asked suddenly.

I blinked, puzzled at the odd question.

"What else do I know about you?" I echoed.

"Yeah," he said, a faint purr underlaying his voice. "So you don't have to respond with 'I know' to everything I say."

My fur prickled with embarrassed heat at his teasing.

"Oh," I said with a small purr.

I ducked my head to rasp my tongue down my chest a few times to smooth my fur back down.

"Sorry," I murmured, my shoulders still hunched. "Nightstorm tells me that I can be a bit of a know-it-all sometimes."

"It's okay. I'm not bothered by it," he said with a reassuring blink.

I lifted my head back up, my shoulders relaxing as I breathed a sigh of relief. Wolfshade's ears flicked thoughtfully, and he glanced back out towards the forest, studying the trees hard like he could find the words he wanted out there, among them.

"I just think it would be easier for the both of us," he murmured. "It's quite disorientating for me sometimes. I mean, I know I must have told you those things for you to know them. But, it's still surprising nevertheless. I think if we both know what you know about me... it may be a good first step."

I nodded.

"That makes sense," I meowed.

Then my whiskers twitched as a sudden playfulness washed over me.

"If it makes you more comfortable, I can act surprised every time you tell me something," I teased gently.

A deep purr of amusement rumbled in Wolfshade's chest, and my heart clenched at the familiar sound.

"I think we can start with you telling me what you know, and then we can move on to that if the first doesn't work," he said drily.

I purred again, but then fell silent for a few moments, trying to gather all my thoughts about Wolfshade together.

"Your favorite kind of fresh-kill is rabbit," I said finally. "Then birds and squirrels, and you like mice least."

Wolfshade glanced over at me, a look of both amusement and surprise on his face.

"Your favorite way to sleep is to curl up with your tail over your nose," I meowed, feeling more comfortable as I got into it. "You prefer hunting to patrolling because you think border patrols can be boring. You got the nick in your left ear during a battle with some rats."

"That's all true," Wolfshade said with a soft purr.

I paused for a moment to take a breath, studying his expression.

_Should I stop?_

Wolfshade looked at me.

"Well, go on," he said, giving a nod, his eyes glowing softly.

"You love to climb. You get hot really easily. You like being the night guard on Skyrock," I blurted out. "Your favorite color is the golden-orange color of the sunset."

"Wait I—" Wolfshade said, his brow furrowing in confusion.

I stopped speaking to glance over at him, and our eyes met.

"Oh, never mind," he said, the look of confusion dissipating.

"No, what is it?" I asked, my brow furrowing.

"It's nothing," Wolfshade said, shaking his head with a purr. "Keep going."

I frowned. Despite Wolfshade's encouragement, his reaction still nettled me. I wanted to know what had confused him.

"I'm serious," I said, meeting his eye stubbornly. "Did I say something wrong?"

I put on a small burst of speed to move myself in front of him, planting my feet in the ground and forcing us both to stop walking. Wolfshade gazed down at me.

"What did I say?" I prodded again. "Is that not your favorite color?"

Wolfshade blinked.

"I do like that color a lot. It's one of my favorites," he said slowly.

 _"One_ of your favorites? But, not your _favorite_?" I asked, digging for clarification.

His tail twitched.

"My favorite color is dark blue, like the night sky," Wolfshade admitted.

I breathed out a soft purr.

"Are you saying that you _lied_ to me about your favorite color?" I asked, my voice gently teasing.

"No. No," Wolfshade said, shaking his head. "I'm sure I didn't lie to you. I bet that was my favorite color."

Wolfshade's brow furrowed.

 _"Is_ my favorite color," he corrected himself. "Or is it _was?"_

He gave his head another shake.

"Sorry. Memory loss is confusing," he said.

"Wait," I said, trying to get this straight. "The golden-orange color was your favorite color before you lost your memory, but it isn't now. So, that means four seasons ago, the sunset color wasn't your favorite color then either."

I looked at Wolfshade, my brow furrowing.

"Why did your favorite color change?" I asked quietly, speaking half to myself.

I didn't expect Wolfshade to remember the answer.

"Ah those sorts of things happen I suppose," Wolfshade said, breaking eye contact with me to look out into the forest.

I blinked. As he glanced away, the muscles in his shoulder tensed slightly.

_Wait... he knows something._

"Hey…" I said, my brow furrowing. "Hold on… You know, don't you?"

"What? I'm sure it's nothing," Wolfshade said in his deep meow, shaking his head.

"I can't believe it," I said, a playful purr building in my throat. "You're such a liar, Wolfshade. Tell me why."

"I don't know exactly..." Wolfshade said, his fur starting to prickle with heat.

"Oh come on," I said, purring as I prodded his shoulder with a paw. "I thought we were getting to know each other again! So, why did golden, sunset orange become your favorite color?"

Wolfshade closed his eyes in resignation. He began to purr softly, giving his head a slow shake. Then he opened his eyes, and his gaze met mine.

"I'm not sure, but I have a pretty good guess," Wolfshade said. "It's the color of your eyes."

"I—oh," I said, my mouth hanging open then closing again just as quickly.

Now it was my turn for my fur to flush with heat. Wolfshade glanced down at me, taking in my embarrassment with an amused sweep of his gaze.

"You asked," he said with a soft purr.

I shook out my pelt, clearing my throat awkwardly.

"And, I'm glad you told me," I murmured. "The answer was just sweeter than I imagined."

"Ah," Wolfshade said, his tone teasing, but his gaze gentle. "Finally something that I knew, but you didn't."

I chuckled and familiar rush of warmth filled me. But, that happiness was quickly soured by a pang of longing. I missed talking with him like this.

My ears flattened, and I glanced away from him, down at my paws.

"Are you alright?" Wolfshade mewed quietly, noticing my change in expression.

"Yeah, I'm..." I began before swallowing against the lump in my throat.

I paused for a moment to compose myself.

"I'm- I'm grateful that you told me now," I managed, digging my paws into the leaf-litter under me. "But, a part of me can't help but wish you'd told me it before. Back when it meant something to you."

Wolfshade was silent, and I didn't lift my eyes off of the ground to take his expression.

"... I'm sorry," Wolfshade said finally, his voice low.

I shook my head vehemently.

"Don't apologize," I said, lifting my eyes to meet them with his intently. "It's not your fault. Nothing about this happening to you is your fault."

His brow was troubled as he gazed at me.

"Logically I know that," he murmured. "But, it doesn't stop me from feeling that something in my mind betrayed me."

He glanced away from me, looking out into the trees.

"Sometimes, things don't really feel that different for me," he said, his voice barely above a breath. "Like the Clan overall is pretty much the same. You get up, go for a hunt, go for a patrol. I miss my brother of course, but the rest of the Clan is still mourning him too. So, I don't really feel _out of place._ But, sometimes... especially with you..."

He glanced over at me again, his eyes pained.

"I feel like I hardly know anything," he said. "That things are so different."

My tail twitched uncertainly, and Wolfshade's gaze flashed as he caught the motion.

"I mean, it's not always different in a _bad_ way," he clarified, giving a small, sad purr before his gaze pulled away from mine again.

He stared down at the ground for a moment.

"You know that I don't like that this has happened, right?" he whispered.

"Of course," I murmured.

He glanced over at me again.

"Good," he said softly. "I just want to make sure that you know that I wasn't avoiding you because I _like_ the life a have now. I do wish that I remembered. It would make things easier for everyone."

"It's weird for me too," I said, my brow furrowing. "I mean, I _feel_ like I know you, but I don't really, right? Like the favorite color example."

I gave my head a small shake.

"I know a version of you that no longer exists," I clarified. "And, it took me a while to accept that. I think I might still be working through it a bit, honestly."

I stared into his eyes.

"But, I'd like to get to know you again," I said. "Get to know the new you. Or, the _old_ you."

I rumbled a brief purr, and I was rewarded with a chuckle from him. Warmth kindled in my chest as I gazed into his green eyes.

"It's not just about you learning what you forgot. It's about both of us learning about each other," I continued.

I glanced away from him, my claws kneading anxiously into the ground.

"I mean, I don't want to pressure you into a relationship with me or anything," I said quickly. "I wouldn't do that. Like, I know you don't _know_ me. Not really. But, right now, I do want to be your friend."

I looked back over at him, searching his face a bit desperately for his answer. My muscles loosened in relief as he nodded.

"I'd like that too," he said softly.

I purred with happiness, feeling like heavy weight that I'd been carrying on my back for sunrises was finally lifted off. Wolfshade purred softly in response.

"You know, this whole conversation has gone really different than how I expected it to," I said, blinking at him.

Wolfshade tilted his head to the side.

"How so?" he asked.

"I guess..." I began hesitantly. "I expected that you'd treat me more like a stranger. It's odd to me."

Wolfshade's brow furrowed like he still wasn't getting it. My fur prickled nervously as I found myself growing flustered.

_I need to explain it better._

_"You're_ not odd to me," I said quickly. "It's just the fact that you're not more cold that's odd."

Wolfshade frowned, his ears flattening.

"You want me to be cold?" he meowed.

"No!" I blurted out, my fur flushing with heat. "What I mean is that the conversation was more open than I expected. It's weird, but it's a _good_ weird."

Wolfshade shot me an amused glance, and I pressed a paw to my face, wishing that I could melt into the ground.

"Ugh," I muttered. "Forget that I said anything."

"Do you always babble like this when you get nervous?" Wolfshade asked, a playful gleam in his green eyes.

I slowly lowered my paw from my face so I could glance over at him.

"Yes," I said in a quiet voice, my ears burning. "But, I think you found it endearing."

Wolfshade purred, and I began to purr in response, some of my embarrassment fading. After a moment, Wolfshade spoke quietly.

"I think I understand what you're saying," he murmured, studying me with his gaze. "I feel comfortable with you. I mean, I still can't remember anything, but… you're still somehow familiar. Like a faint scent on the breeze. I can't quite place what the scent is, but I do get this feeling that I've known it before."

Our gazes met.

"It's something, right?" he asked.

I nodded, a gentle warmth in my chest.

"Yeah, it's something," I agreed.


	39. Lost

We continued on our walk through the forest, stopping only once around midday for a hunt.

"I'd offer to come with you," I said to Wolfshade around a yawn. "But, in this current state I'm in, I don't think I could catch a mouse, even if it came over and sat on my paws."

His whiskers twitched in amusement.

"Don't worry," he meowed. "I'll take care of it. You can rest for a bit if you want."

I nodded gratefully.

"Thanks Wolfshade," I meowed as he turned and padded off, scenting the air.

As soon as he vanished into the ferns, such a violent wave of exhaustion crashed over me that I could do nothing but crawl under a clump of bracken and collapse into a nap.

I was woken up much too soon by the sound of Wolfshade's mew.

"Lightningfire?" he called. "I caught a couple birds for us."

I groaned as my eyes flickered back open, and I yawned so widely that my whole body shuddered with the effort. Then, pawing sleep out of my eyes, I stumbled out of the bracken patch.

"How are you back so soon?" I muttered, blinking as my vision readjusted to the sunlight. "I swear you left just a heartbeat ago."

Wolfshade blinked at me from where he was sitting with two sparrows at his paws.

"Prey's running well today," he meowed. "They were nearby. I bet even you could've gotten gotten them."

 _"Even_ I could've gotten them?" I parroted, sleepiness fading as I narrowed my eyes playfully.

"I meant in your current state, you know, your injury and exhaustion. I'm not taking a swipe at your hunting prowess," Wolfshade said with an amused huff.

"Good," I said, twitching my tail in mock annoyance. "Because I'll have you know, I'm one of the best hunters in this whole forest. Thank you very much."

Wolfshade arched a brow at me.

"Oh yeah?" he challenged. "Prove it."

I plopped down on the ground next to him.

"Obviously I can't right now with my injury. So, you'll just have to take my word for it," I informed him in a haughty voice. "Now pass me one of those sparrows. I'm starving."

We ate in silence, mostly because I was devouring my food much too quickly to even think about speaking. Once I was done, I reached my legs far out in front of me in a deep stretch.

"Ah," I sighed, settling back down on the ground and tucking my paws back under my chest. "Now that I've eaten, all I want to do is take a nice long nap."

"Bored of talking to me already?" Wolfshade quipped playfully as he continued to pick at his meal.

I glanced over at him sharply.

"That's not possible," I said, a purr rumbling in my throat.

“I just think that—“

Wolfshade’s teasing voice broke off as he winced, his eyes squinting as his face wrinkled up in a grimace.

I straightened immediately and blinked at him in concern.

“Are you alright?” I asked, the fur down my back prickling.

“Yeah,” he muttered, blinking his eyes hard. “Just a headache.”

He let out a quiet, pained growl as he lowered himself to the ground to lie down. I was on my paws now, circling him anxiously.

“Do you want to go back to camp?” I said.

I knew from Echosong that Wolfshade had been having these headaches on occasion, but since we’d been avoiding each other lately, I’d never seen him gripped in the claws of one before now. My stomach twisted at the discomfort etched into his features.

“No. It hurts more to move,” he said, pressing a paw to his head. “Sometimes they come on really quickly like this. I just need to wait a bit. They usually become more bearable after some time passes.”

“I wish I had some feverfew,” I meowed, continuing to pace. “It would help you.”

I glanced around the woods, noting that this damper area of our territory would act as good growing grounds for the herb. I lifted my muzzle to the breeze and parted my jaws to drink in the scents in the air, hopeful that there may be some growing close by. My ears jutted up eagerly as the tangy scent of feverfew settled down on my tongue.

“I think there’s some nearby,” I said quickly. “I’ll be right back. Don’t go anywhere.”

Wolfshade gave a weak huff of laughter.

“I don’t think that’ll be a problem,” he said, closing his eyes.

I scampered off into the trees, all of my focus narrowed in on following the scent of feverfew. It grew stronger as I approached the river, and my pelt prickled in relief as I spotted the telltale white flowers. I quickly nipped off a few stems, just enough for one dose, and hurried back in Wolfshade’s direction.

As I brushed through the undergrowth, a sense of foreboding crept over me. I couldn’t stop the image from forming in my mind of the last time I had seen Wolfshade lying injured on the forest floor— his body sprawled out; his eyes closed. Half his face masked in blood.

The fur down my back bristled, and my chest tightened in anxiety. I gave my head a sharp shake, trying to dislodge the memory.

_The badgers are long gone. Wolfshade just has a headache._

Still though, I found myself letting out a sigh of relief as I rounded a patch of ferns to see Wolfshade lying alone in the clearing just like how I left him. There were no hulking shadows looming over him, and no growing crimson stains in his fur.

His eyes flickered back open as I dropped the herb at his paws.

“Eat that. It should take some of the pain away,” I said, sitting down next to him and wrapping my tail around my paws.

He gave a murmur of affirmation and lapped up the plant, his lip curling up in a grimace of disgust as he chewed the bitter leaves. Wolfshade swallowed it and sighed, resting his chin back down on his paws and shutting his eyes again. I remained silent as we waited for the herb to take effect, listening to the sounds of distant birdsong.

After sometime had passed, my gaze flickered down to Wolfshade’s face, and his eyes opened as if he sensed me looking at him.

“How’s your head?” I asked.

“Improving,” he said, pushing himself back up to his feet. “The herbs definitely helped. Thank you.”

I shrugged.

“It’s not a problem. I’m just happy you’re feeling better,” I said, giving him a warm purr.

I glanced out into the woods, struck by a sudden thought.

“Do you think anyone back at camp is looking for us?” I asked. “It’s passed sun-high, and I’ve been gone since last evening without really telling anyone. And, you’ve been gone since last night.”

Wolfshade’s brow furrowed as if he hadn’t considered that other cats may think that we’re missing.

“I hope not,” he muttered. “But, Minttail might be concerned.”

I winced at the sound of her name, and Wolfshade’s eyes flashed as he noticed the movement.

“What?” he asked, tilting his head a bit.

I chewed my lip as my stomach churned uneasily. Sitting here in the woods together, with no one around to interrupt us, it seemed like the perfect opportunity to tell Wolfshade about what he couldn’t remember about Minttail. But, before I could even think of how to begin the conversation, I found the words getting stuck in my throat.

Would he believe me over Minttail?

Doubtful thoughts clamored in my head.

_Why would he? She’s his friend, and I’m… just someone he can’t remember._

“I thought we were getting to know each other better,” Wolfshade prodded me gently.

I dipped my head, rasping my tongue over my chest to flatten my uncomfortably prickling pelt.

“I know,” I murmured finally. “It’s just… Has Minttail told you anything about me?”

He shrugged.

“Not too much. Although I’ve definitely gotten the sense that she doesn’t like you. That’s been obvious enough. And, now I’m sensing that the feeling is mutual,” he said drily.

“Do you know that she has feelings for you?” I said, gazing down at my paws.

He hesitated for a moment.

“Well she’s my friend…” he said.

I glanced over at him sharply, but I also gave a small huff of amusement.

“Romantic feelings, mouse-brain,” I said, rolling my eyes.

Wolfshade looked away from me, his fur prickling slightly.

“I’ve picked up on that,” he admitted.

“I mean then… if we were together before, then that means you weren’t with Minttail,” I continued in a softer voice.

“Well… yeah. That makes sense,” he said.

He looked over at me, studying me as he picked up on the gaps between my words.

“But, from the way you’re talking, it sounds like something more than that happened with Minttail,” Wolfshade meowed. “What don’t I remember?”

I sighed softly, shifting my weight on my paws.

“Some moons ago, she confessed to having feelings for you,” I said. “The three of us got into an argument about it because you told her that you didn’t feel the same way, since you and I had justgot together. Some insults were exchanged, and it… Well it resulted in you and Minttail hardly speaking since then.”

Wolfshade was silent, and I glanced over at him, trying to read his thoughts on his face. His brow was furrowed. I swallowed hard.

_Does he believe me?_

“So you’re saying, before the badger attack, I wasn’t even really friends with her?” he clarified.

“Yeah…” I meowed quietly. “I think she was still too upset by the fact that you and I were together to be friends with you anymore.”

Wolfshade gazed out into the forest for several moments, his tail-tip twitching and his ears twisted back.

“…What are you thinking about?” I asked after several long heartbeats of silence had passed.

He sighed, his gaze dropping down to his paws.

“Well, the argument, like everything that I can’t remember, feels like it didn’t happen to me, but to an entirely different cat,” he murmured. “So, I’m not sure if I can hold that against her. But, what bothers me is the fact that for the past moon, she hasn’t said anything about it.”

“So you believe me?” I asked with a blink of relief.

He glanced at me with surprise.

“Well… yeah,” he said. “I mean, if I didn’t, I could just ask another one of our clan-mates to verify it. But, what reason would I have not to trust you?”

I blinked and looked away from him, my stomach twisting as my thoughts suddenly turned to a different secret; something that Wolfshade and _I_ had fought about.

_Do I need to tell him about that argument in order to be totally honest with him?_

Almost immediately, a different part of my mind rebelled against that thought.

_Whisperheart’s secret is a totally different situation! It’s not my place to tell it, and there’s no reason that I need to bring up our argument over it either because Wolfshade and I made up about it on the patrol before the badger attack. That argument was resolved, while the argument with Minttail wasn’t._

My ears flattened indecisively, but I could feel myself being more and more convinced by that part of my mind.

_Yes. That fresh-kill is eaten and those bones are buried. Why dig them back up, and tell him about it? It wouldn’t anyone any good, and at worst, only risk upsetting him._

“There's no reason,” I said finally. “It’s just that, to you now, Minttail has been your friend for longer than I have.”

“Yeah. That just makes it seem more deceitful of her to hide it,” Wolfshade muttered.

“…Maybe she saw this as a sort of second chance,” I murmured. “A do-over.”

Wolfshade blinked in shock.

“Are you defending her?” he asked incredulously. “I thought you two were rivals.”

I grimaced.

“I’m just trying to see things from her perspective,” I said lamely.

Wolfshade shook his head and was silent again. I sighed, gazing out into the forest.

“I’m sorry that I brought it up,” I mumbled, my whiskers drooping. “I feel like we were having a pretty good time, and I ruined it by turning the conversation to this.”

“It’s alright,” he reassured with a blink as he glanced at me. “It’s was important for me to know.”

Wolfshade stood and gave his pelt a shake.

“But, you’re right,” he meowed. “We came out here to get to know each other again. I can deal with Minttail later.”

I shifted uncertainly. Maybe it would be better for us to go back to camp so he could speak to her sooner rather than later.

“But—“ I began.

He turned to me, locking me under the trance of his green eyes.

“Forget Minttail,” he suggested. “My headache is gone. Let’s continue our walk… I mean if you still want to.”

“Of course I want to,” I assured, rising to my paws now as well. “I just didn’t want to keep you if you wanted to go back to camp.”

He gave his head a small shake.

“I don’t want to,” he meowed. “Not yet.”

“Alright then,” I said softly.

We continued into the woods, but we walked in silence for quite a while, only commenting on trivial scenery that we passed. Evidently both of us were preoccupied with our thoughts, despite our earlier remarks about continuing to get to know each other better.

I frowned down at the ground as we navigated around a patch of particularly thorny undergrowth.

_Maybe I shouldn’t’ve said anything about Minttail so directly. What if she tries to retaliate against me somehow? Will she tell Wolfshade about how he and I had fought before the badger attack? That’s possible, but she’d have no idea what that argument was about, so Whisperheart’s secret would still be safe at least…_

I blinked in surprise as Wolfshade spoke suddenly.

“The sun will be setting soon. Maybe we should head back to camp,” he said.

I lifted my gaze, and through the trunks of the trees, I spotted the sun hanging low in the sky. My heart clenched as a memory surfaced of the last time Wolfshade and I had watched the sunset together from a perch high in a tree, with the entire world at our feet.

“Yeah,” I agreed, turning to him with a quiet purr. “But, would you like the watch the sunset with me first?”

Wolfshade cocked his head to the side, his brow furrowing in slight confusion.

“…Alright,” he meowed. “If you want.”

He took a seat and turned to face the setting sun, but I was already shaking my head.

“Not here,” I said. “I know the perfect place.”

* * *

It was a short walk to the tall pine tree. As we stood at the base, I took a deep breath, readying myself. My rib injury had hardly bothered me all day, but the climb up and down this tree would surely be asking for trouble. I had to be sure I could make the climb before ascending.

I reared up on my hind-paws and dug my claws into the trunk. To my relief, my ribs didn’t complain at the movement.

“Follow me,” I meowed over my shoulder. “We have to climb almost to the top.”

Concern glimmered in Wolfshade’s gaze as he looked at me.

“Are you sure you can make that climb?” he asked. “Why can’t we just watch the sunset from the ground?”

“It’ll be worth it,” I insisted. “Besides, if the first few bounds up the tree hurt my ribs at all, I’ll stop and we won’t go up. If they don’t though, I’ll keep going, but I’ll take it slow and take breaks on branches.”

“Okay…” Wolfshade agreed, although he still looked somewhat reluctant.

I huffed out a brief purr of laughter.

“Don’t worry,” I meowed, turning my gaze back to the tree trunk. “I’m not mouse-brained enough to undo a moon of healing with one climb!”

I began the ascent, all of my movements carefully calculated as to not over-exert my injuries. Wolfshade trailed behind me as I took my time climbing up the trunk. I glanced down at him occasionally, searching for impatience in his expression since I knew that normally he’d like to climb a lot more quickly than this, but he just watched me with a careful gaze, as if he was ready to leap in and help me if I took a misstep or injured myself.

I relaxed as we climbed higher, and the pain in my ribs remained at bay. We climbed past the canopies of the other trees, so that there was nothing around us but open air. I breathed the clean, cool scents in deeply as the wind whipped around my head, ruffling my fur. I noticed the branches around us were growing thin.

_We must be close._

I scanned the trunk above me for a few heartbeats before spotting the hollow, hidden in the shadows, only few more tail lengths above us.

"We're here!” I meowed.

Panting slightly from the excursion, I slipped into the moss filled hollow in the trunk, turning to face its entrance and moving to the side to make room for Wolfshade to squeeze in next to me. He followed me inside, blinking in the shadows.

"This is really high up," he meowed, studying the inside of the hollow with a curious gaze.

"Soft moss," he added, pawing at the ground.

My fur prickled with excitement as I caught a glimpse of the sky, halfway hidden behind his outline.

"That's not the best part. Look," I said, nodding towards the entrance.

Wolfshade turned to look back outside, and his eyes widened.

"Whoa," he gasped.

The sun was a brilliant orange as it hovered right above the horizon. In the deep red sky around it were light pink clouds, floating like rose petals in a breeze. An unbroken sea of dark leaves stretched out from under us. They billowed and rippled in the wind like real water, and I could almost imagine that I could leap down there and swim through them.

"This is amazing... I've never seen anything like it," Wolfshade said, tearing his gaze away from the view to look at me. "It's beautiful."

I purred quietly, my heart filling with happiness as he turned to look back outside.

"How did you find this place?" he asked.

The purr quieted in my throat as some of the warmth in my chest cooled.

"I didn't actually," I said quietly. “…You did."

Wolfshade looked at me, staring in surprise.

"You found it chasing a squirrel up this tree, then you showed it to me," I said, glancing back outside again. "But, no one else in the Clan knows it exists."

“I- I found this?” Wolfshade muttered, gazing around the hollow.

I nodded, looking at him from out of the corner of my eye. His brow furrowed as he stared down at his paws, and he dug his claws into the mossy floor suddenly, his face crinkling up.

I glanced over at him.

“Are you okay?” I asked, my brow furrowing in concern. “Do you have another headache?”

He looked up at me and shook his head.

"How could I have found this? How could I have forgotten this?” he asked in a harsh whisper.

Wolfshade gazed back outside, his body tense. As he stared out into the beautiful sunset, his lip curled up in anger. I studied him, confusion and worry mounting.

"What's wrong?" I asked quietly.

Wolfshade gave a low growl.

 _"It's not fair,"_ he spat, the words exploding out of him as the fur on his back bristled. "How could my own mind betray me like this? How could it take all this from me?"

He lashed his tail in frustration.

"I know I don't know everything that I've forgotten yet, but my life seemed pretty good. I was happy," Wolfshade said, pausing for a heartbeat and swallowing hard.

I noticed his paws were trembling slightly.

"And, I _lost_ all that. I lost my memories. I lost that happiness. And, now I feel lost," Wolfshade said, his voice cracking over his final sentence.

The anger seemed to seep out of him suddenly. His ears flattened, and he let out a long sigh. His head bowed like he no longer had the strength left to hold it up, and he stared down at his feet.

“I’m empty and useless,” he growled, his expression pained. “Like I’m not a whole cat anymore. I’m a ghost adrift. And, how do I just accept this fate? How do I move on? How am I supposed to know where to go, if I can’t remember where I’ve been?”

My heart ached with sympathy as I gazed at him, but Wolfshade wouldn’t look at me. Instead he just closed his eyes in defeat.

Desperately needing to comfort him, I reached over, lying a paw on top of his. He opened his eyes again and glanced at me with a gaze that was clouded with confusion and pain. I studied his eyes for a moment.

“I can’t imagine the pain you must be going through,” I said softly. “I want to reassure you. To say that everything will be okay. But, I can’t predict the future. I don't know if this will get easier or better with time.”

I paused as my gaze traced the lines of torment etched into his face, wanting nothing more in that moment than to make them go away.

“But, I do know one thing,” I whispered. “I promise you, I’ll always be here to help you. No matter what; you haven't lost me."

Wolfshade didn’t respond beyond blinking hard at me a few times. I shuffled closer to him so our flanks brushed, and abruptly, he turned his head and buried his face in the fur of my shoulder. My heart aching quietly, I gazed out over the trees and towards the darkening sky, letting Wolfshade hide from the world in my pelt.


	40. Warrior Duties

I blinked awake in the warriors den as the pale light of dawn streamed into the cave. I sighed, closing my eyes again for a moment to relish the quiet sounds of the warriors breathing, stretching, and whispering around me. I had missed that reassuring murmur of my clan-mates while alone with Echosong in the medicine cat's den. I opened my eyes and straightened to give my pelt a quick wash.

A few sunrises ago, I had moved my nest again, this time away from Sagewhisker. I didn’t go far, but just didn't feel right to be right next to him after I rejected him so recently… I didn’t want to send the wrong message. My nest was now in between Briarspot's and Ravenfur's. Wolfshade had moved his nest as well, and now it was only a few nests away from mine.

I tried not to read too much into that.

But, I did know that he moved it the night we got back from our walk. He and Minttail must have had a talk about what we’d spoken about, if the poisonous looks she had been shooting me for the past few days were any indication. Whatever argument they had though, it must not have been disastrous, since I’d seen that he still spoke with her. They would share prey occasionally and willingly participated in patrols that they were both assigned to.

I flicked my ears, trying to send thoughts about Minttail away.

At least she was no longer monopolizing his attention. Wolfshade and I had taken time to chat too, but it has been nothing like our day-long walk and talk from a few sunrises ago. It was impossible for me to spend so much time with him— he was busy with his warriors duties, and I was busy still being not allowed to do them.

I sighed in frustration, pausing my grooming so I could grouchily bury my nose in my paws.

_It’s not fair! I wish I could go back to hunting and patrolling too._

Being stuck in camp all day without even medicine cat duties to keep me busy made me feel like an elder.

But, elders had spent their whole lives hunting and fighting.

I was just useless.

Nightstorm brushed past me as he padded out of his nest. I watched him out of half-lidded eyes as he roused Rabbitleap, Egg, Clovertail and Creamclaw for the dawn patrol. My brother led the way to the den’s exit as the other cats filed behind him.

_Nightstorm gets to lead the dawn patrol even though Rabbitleap, Egg, and Clovertail are all more senior than him?_

My brow furrowed.

_The only patrol I’ve ever gotten to lead was the one to look for Crash. And, that was just from pure luck since Whisperheart chose to wake me up first._

Nightstorm held his tail high with confidence as he slipped out of the den. My ears flattened as I watched him go.

_I’m falling behind._

A pang of hot jealousy stabbed at me, closely followed by a flash of guilt for being envious of my brother’s success.

I gave my head a small shake to dislodge those feelings as I rose to my paws and padded out of the den. From my perch at the top of the cliff, I could see that Nightstorm and the dawn patrol had already vanished out of camp. Sharpclaw was sitting at the base of the Rockpile with the small group of warriors who were already awake and not on dawn patrol. Sharpclaw chatted with them as he waited for more cats to head down so he could begin assigning the rest of the patrols for the day.

I shook out my pelt and took it slow as I descended the cliff, even though my ribs weren’t aching this morning. Giving a nod of greeting to Sharpclaw, Petalnose, Patchfoot, and Shrewtooth, I padded past them so I could grab a mouse off of the fresh-kill pile.

It was a bit stale, likely caught sometime yesterday afternoon, but I figured I didn’t deserve much better since I would just be sitting around camp like a useless lump all day. So, I took my meal over to the base of the cliff and crouched beneath the ferns that grew near the entrance to the medicine cats’ den to eat.

As the sun rose a bit higher, the clan began to wake up. By the time I’d finished my mouse, the camp was bustling with warriors. I gazed after them mournfully, shifting from paw to paw to displace some excess energy.

 _What I would give to have Sharpclaw order me on a patrol right now… I’d go on the longest, most boring patrol, stuck on it with_ **_Minttail_ ** _even, if it meant that I could just go back to being a warrior._

My ears pricked as the ferns near me shivered, and Echosong’s silver striped head poked out. As the medicine cat padded out into camp, I sprung to my paws.

“Echosong!” I called, hurrying over to her.

She blinked in surprise at my sudden appearance, turning to me.

“Lightningfire,” she meowed, nodding at me in greeting. “How are you this morning?”

“I’m well,” I said, my twitching tail betraying my eagerness. “Great even. That’s why I wanted to talk to you. I think I’m ready to return my warriors duties.”

“You do?” Echosong asked.

She circled me, now casting a critical eye over my body. I straightened my posture, hoping to appear to be the pinnacle of health.

“Yes,” I meowed with conviction. “My ribs hardly bother me at all anymore.”

Echosong paused her circling. She ran a paw over my chest for a moment before placing some light pressure on my ribs.

“Does that hurt?” she asked.

I shook my head.

“No,” I said.

Echosong hummed and pulled away from me.

“Well in that case, I see no reason that you can’t return to hunting and patrolling,” she said, and my tail shot upwards in glee. “But, be careful not to overdo anything. Your ribs may no longer pain you, but that doesn’t mean the bones are back to their full strength yet. You don’t want to crack them again. That means keep to one hunt or patrol a day for now.”

I nodded emphatically.

“Of course!” I meowed. “Thank you, Echosong.”

I whirled around, my gaze scouring the camp. My eyes settled on Wolfshade. He was still here, looking like he was gathering for a patrol with Tinycloud and a few other cats.

My heart leapt with excitement. Finally, we would get to patrol together again!

“Lightningfire, one more thing,” Echosong said before I could rush over to him.

I tore my eyes off of Wolfshade reluctantly, turning my head back towards her.

“Yes, Echosong?” I asked.

She hesitated a moment before lowering her voice.

"You haven't happened to have given my offer any more thought?" she asked.

My pelt prickled.

_Can’t she see how excited I am to be a warrior again? Why is she still trying to force something on me that I don’t want?_

“My answer is still no,” I said firmly, but not unkindly. “I’m sorry.”

Echosong's whiskers drooped, and her gaze grew distant.

"That's alright, Lightningfire," Echosong said, glancing away from me.

I shifted uncomfortably from paw to paw.

_I wish she would just understand._

_…Maybe if I try really hard with my duties, I can show her how good I am at being a warrior and how much I love it. Then she’ll realize that I can support our Clan better by being a warrior than a medicine cat._

Echosong’s gaze drifted across camp, settling on Wolfshade. My fur warmed in a hint of embarrassment as I realized she must have noticed me staring at him earlier. She nodded in his direction.

“Looks like you can still catch his patrol if you hurry,” she said, a familiar, kind expression returning to her face as she glanced back at me. “Go on then.”

I dipped my head to her.

“Thank you,” I murmured.

Without another word, I turned away from her to trot across camp. Wolfshade, Tinycloud, Sootypaw, Plumwillow and Lionclaw were just getting to their paws to leave.

“Have room for one more?” I called to the group, making them glance back at me.

“Lightningfire!” Lionclaw said with a blink of pleasant surprise. “What are you doing here?”

I puffed my chest out.

“I get to be a warrior again!” I declared. “Echosong said my injuries have healed enough.”

“That’s good news,” Wolfshade rumbled.

I purred warmly.

“It is,” I agreed.

“Of course you can join our patrol,” Tinycloud meowed. “We’re going hunting.”

She flicked her tail to summon the group to her, and she took the lead as we began to pad out of camp. I followed with a spring in my step, feeling like an apprentice on my first day out of camp.

“Where are we hunting?” I asked. “The southern woods? Prey always runs well there.”

“We’re heading to the forest and field above the gorge actually,” Tinycloud said, glancing back at me from over her shoulder.

“Yeah,” Lionclaw meowed. “Prey’s running better there now. A fox passed through the southern woods recently, and I think the lingering scent is keeping the prey away.”

I blinked in surprise.

“A fox?” I asked. “I hadn’t heard about that.”

Lionclaw shrugged.

“It’s wasn’t a big deal,” he said. “It was easily chased off by a patrol almost a quarter moon ago. No one got hurt.”

I frowned to myself.

_I’m so out of the loop that I didn’t even know about this fox._

I shook my head, even more determined to throw myself back into the life of a warrior fully. As we exited the sandy and rocky landscape of the gorge, I slowed my pace to drop back to Wolfshade’s side. The two of us fell into matching stride almost automatically. Trees began to pop up around us and soon we were in the forest.

"What can you scent, Sootypaw?" Tinycloud asked.

I turned to watch the light grey cat, curious to see how his training was going. The apprentice lifted his nose to the breeze and took a huge sniff of the air.

“A mouse passed by here not long ago," Sootypaw reported. "…And, uh owl, I think, left over from last night.”

I blinked, impressed that he had managed to pick out the very faint owl scent.

_It looks like he’s already come a long way since he began training._

"Very good," Tinycloud praised.

Sootypaw's chest puffed up in pride.

"And, if we can scent the owl, prey can too," Tinycloud continued. "And, they'll avoid the scent, which means we should keep going further into the woods.”

Our patrol turned, heading up the slightly sloping ground until Tinycloud raised her tail to signal for us to split off and hunt in the area. Tinycloud and Sootypaw slunk off together, while Lionclaw strode off, his ears already pricked in concentration. Plumwillow scented the air and padded off alone as well. I turned to Wolfshade, my pelt prickling slightly with worry that he might want to hunt alone too.

“Can I hunt with you?” I asked.

My worries vanished as Wolfshade flattened one ear in a roguish expression.

“Need some pointers about hunting since you’ve been out of commission for so long?” he quipped.

I huffed in offense, my pelt fluffing out.

“How _dare_ you!” I said. “If anyone here will learning anything, it’ll be you!”

“Oh, that’s right,” he said, his face dead-pan but his gaze playful. “You were going to show me how talented at hunting you are.”

“That’s right,” I grumbled. “And, you’ll be so impressed your whiskers will fall off.”

Wolfshade flicked his tail towards the trees.

“By all means then, show me how it’s done,” he said.

“I will,” I meowed, sticking my nose up in the air as I brushed past him, but on the inside, I actually felt a flicker of nervousness.

_Honestly, my skills will probably not be in top form since I haven’t hunted for myself in more than a moon… But, now I’ll look like a fool in front of him if I mess up._

I gave my head a small shake.

_Ugh. Nice going! Look what I’ve done now…_

I tried to push my self-doubt away as I opened my jaws to drink in the air. My ears pricked as a caught the scent of rabbit, and my attention focused.

“Rabbit,” I murmured to Wolfshade from over my shoulder. “Follow me.”

I slipped down into a hunting crouch and was grateful to find that the position still came naturally to me.

_I won’t make a complete fool of myself at least._

We stalked through the undergrowth. My eyes were alert for any flicker of movement as the scent of rabbit grew stronger. I swiped my tongue around my jaws, my mouth already watering in anticipation. As I poked my head out of a patch of ferns I froze as I spotted the rabbit several fox-lengths ahead of us.

It was grazing in a small clearing, hopping meanderingly from here to there as it munched on grass. My gaze scanned the terrain as I tried to determine our best course of approach. The clearing had little undergrowth, which was maybe why the rabbit chose to graze here— so that it could see any incoming predators. Neither Wolfshade or I were fast enough to catch a rabbit if it fled, so we’d have to work together to nab it. My gaze drifted to a large bramble bush at the edge of the clearing.

_Rabbits love hiding in bushes like that. I bet if I run at it, it’ll head to the bush to shelter._

A plan in mind, I slowly slipped back into the patch of ferns, where I turned to Wolfshade.

“Here’s what we’ll do,” I whispered in a voice barely above a breath. “You’ll circle the clearing, giving the rabbit a wide berth and go hide under that big bramble bush. I’ll chase the rabbit towards you. It’ll go to the bramble bush to hide, where you’ll catch it.”

Wolfshade nodded.

“Whatever you say,” he murmured before slipping off, his body pressed as low to the ground as possible.

I poked my head back out of the ferns to keep an eye on the rabbit as he got into position. It was still blissfully unaware of our presence, continuing to graze. I waited patiently to give Wolfshade more than enough time to get ready. Once I was sure he’d be in position, I began to creep forward, silently brushing out of the ferns and heading towards the rabbit with swift steps. Its eyes flickered to me, and in a flash, it was in motion, its white tail bobbing. I threw myself forward, my paws flying as I shot after it. The rabbit suddenly made a sharp turn left, and I followed it, my stomach lurching as for an instant I feared it would take off into the forest. But, it turned out to be a feint to throw me off its tail, because just as quickly, the rabbit pirouetted back to the right and shot straight into the bramble bush, disappearing from sight. There was one sharp squeal, then silence.

The bush began to shake as Wolfshade came slowly pushing his way out of it, the rabbit dangling from his jaws.

"Ow. Ow. Ow!” he mumbled around the prey in his mouth as the thorns pulled on his fur.

He managed to wiggle himself the rest of the way out, only leaving a little clump of grey fur in the brambles. I raised my chin, my tail curling up happily.

“Well?” I asked. “Are you impressed?”

“Quite,” he said, dropping the rabbit to the ground and shaking out his fur. “Although I’m not sure if I’m more impressed by your hunting strategy, or the fact that you somehow tricked me into sacrificing my pelt to the thorns instead of yours.”

A purr rumbled in my throat.

“I didn’t _trick_ you into doing anything,” I said. “You knew that was a bramble bush when you agreed to go inside it.”

Wolfshade gave a noncommittal grunt.

“Well, next time, you’re the one crawling into the patch of thorns,” he said.

I flicked my tail.

“Alright. Deal," I purred.

As Wolfshade went to go store the rabbit for us to pick up later, I opened my mouth to scent the air again, and the warm scent of a robin drifted onto my tongue. I went stalking off in its direction, leaving Wolfshade to follow me. The scent grew stronger in my nose, but as I slunk around a patch of bracken, I saw that the bird was already taken— Plumwillow was crouched a few fox-lengths away and had her gaze fixed on the robin. It was pecking at the roots of a maple tree, too intent on its own prey to notice Plumwillow stalking up from behind.

Wolfshade and I hung back to let Plumwillow make the catch. She was nearly on it when her paw brushed a fallen leaf. The robin’s head jerked up at the sound. It took flight in a flurry of wingbeats, letting out an alarm call. Letting out a hiss of frustration, Plumwillow sprung quickly, but the robin was already too high, swooping out of reach of her slashing claws. Plumwillow landed back on the ground and lashed her tail furiously.

“Bad luck!” I called to her.

She jerked, turning to look back at me and Wolfshade.

“You two saw that huh?” she asked bitterly, shaking out her pelt. “I can’t seem to do anything right lately.”

My brow furrowed at her down-trodden tone.

“It’s alright. No one makes every catch,” I meowed.

Plumwillow lashed her tail again, her jaw clenching as she looked away from me. I gazed at her, a bit baffled. She seemed unreasonably upset for just having missed one bird.

“Is everything alright, Plumwillow?” Wolfshade asked her, taking a pace forward.

She was silent. As the heartbeats stretched on, I began to think that maybe she wasn’t going to respond at all. Then her tail trembled as she screwed her eyes shut for a moment.

“I’m expecting Bouncefire’s kits,” she whispered.

My stomach dropped. Her gaze flickered open again, and her eyes were full of anguish as she looked over at me and Wolfshade. My mouth opened, but no sound came out at first.

“Oh… Plumwillow,” I said.

"But, he's not here," she continued, turning her head away. "I'm scared, and I miss him. And, I don't know what to do."

She curled her tail around her belly.

"And, they're the only part of him that I have left," she whispered.

I glanced over at Wolfshade, my eyes widening.

 _What do we do?_ I asked him with my gaze.

Wolfshade looked as equally shocked and helpless as I felt. My stomach twisted for him. He had just found of that his brother would have been a father, if he was still alive. It must be a hard blow.

I swallowed, deciding that I needed to take the lead here. I padded over to Plumwillow, gently laying my tail over her shoulders in a supportive, comforting gesture.

"Everything is going to be alright," I said gently. “Bouncefire might not be here anymore, but the whole Clan will look after you and your kits. And, I’m sure he'll always be watching over you and them from StarClan. He loved you.”

Plumwillow sighed, still not looking up at me.

“And, he would’ve loved your kits,” Wolfshade said suddenly.

Plumwillow’s eyes slowly drifted up to him. Wolfshade froze, his gaze flickering to mine for a heartbeat. I nodded at him encouragingly. Hesitantly, he took a step closer to Plumwillow.

“I remember when Lionclaw, Ravenfur, and Briarspot were young kits, Bouncefire was always stopping by the nursery to visit them,” Wolfshade murmured in a low voice. “He’d talk with them and play with them, letting them clamber all over him, while he rolled around on the ground.”

Wolfshade paused for a moment, grief and fondness in his expression as reflected on the memories.

"He was much better with them than I was.” Wolfshade voice grew smaller as his gaze dropped down to the ground. "I always admired that about him."

Wolfshade sighed before his eyes lifted to meet Plumwillow’s again.

"Bouncefire would have loved your kits with all his heart. I'm sure he _still_ loves your kits even though he can't be here to help you raise them," Wolfshade said.

Plumwillow swallowed hard, bowing her head.

“…Thank you Wolfshade,” she murmured.

Wolfshade just nodded, his face expressionless as he returned to his usual taciturn and stoic self. His gaze flickered from Plumwillow to me for a moment. I purred at him softly as our eyes met, but he broke our gaze quickly, clearing his throat as he turned aside.

“We should get back to hunting,” he said, rather abruptly changing the subject.

“Right,” Plumwillow said softly, rising to her paws.

She turned away from me and Wolfshade and scented the air. As she began to pad off into the forest, my pelt prickled with worry.

“Wait! Are you sure you want to go hunting by yourself? Wolfshade or I could come with you,” I meowed.

Plumwillow hesitated for a moment.

“No, I'm alright," she said quietly over her shoulder. "I think I want to hunt alone for a bit.”

Some tension drained out of my shoulders as I realized her voice and expression were much calmer than they was before.

“Okay. We’ll see you later than,” I said as she padded away.

Wolfshade and I walked into the forest in silence. Wolfshade didn’t seem to be in the mood for conversation anymore. He gazed into the trees with a faraway look in his eyes.

“Hey…” I meowed softly. “Are you okay?”

Wolfshade glanced at me out of the corner of his eye before looking straight forward again.

“I miss Bouncefire too,” he said finally.

I nodded, my whiskers drooping.

“I can’t imagine what losing a sibling must be like,” I murmured, my heart clenching at the mere thought of Nightstorm, Rosekit or Wrenkit being seriously injured, let alone _dying_ …

Wolfshade just nodded again, his expression carefully guarded.

“I’m always here for you,” I said quietly. “If you ever want to talk about anything.”

He glanced at me out of the corner of his eye again, but this time his face seemed to soften slightly.

“Thank you,” he murmured.

I nodded.

“Of course,” I said.

* * *

As the day wore on, in addition to the rabbit, we managed to catch a squirrel and a few birds and mice. I tried to not let it show, but by the end of the hunting patrol, I was exhausted. My ribs were aching slightly, but mostly my whole body was just tired. I hadn’t done much moving around at all in a full moon, and it was clear my body needed time to readjust to exercise. I was close to over-exerting myself.

I was trailing behind Wolfshade as we padded by the edge of the forest near the field when I spotted a large shadow in the sky. Sensing an opportunity to rest my aching body, I stopped walking under the guise of studying the shadow. Wolfshade noticed as I came to a stop, and he followed my gaze up towards the sky. His brow furrowed as he squinted at it, trying to make it out better.

“Forget that owl Sootypaw scented earlier,” Wolfshade muttered. “That bird is _huge."_

I nodded. It was a massive specimen; its wingspan longer than a cat from nose-tip to tail-tip. It circled the field, golden-brown feathers gleaming in the sunlight.

“I think it must be an eagle,” I meowed.

I tensed as the eagle folded in its wings, diving suddenly towards the ground in the middle of the field. Its wings flashed open again at the last moment as it landed, catching a prey animal in its talons before its long, hooked beak came rushing down to kill the creature.

I shuddered at its strength as the bird lifted back into the air, its prize clutched in its talons. It was hard to make out the type of prey from the distance, but I could tell it was sizable. Likely a rabbit or a large squirrel.

“We should tell Leafstar about this,” I said. “Kits could be in danger if it flies too close to camp.”

My thoughts flickered from my little siblings, to Cherrytail’s litter, to Plumwillow.

Wolfshade nodded solemnly in response. I watched the eagle for a moment longer.

“Maybe we can track it to its nest,” I muttered, my tail twitching in thought. “If we harass it there enough, it’ll surely leave our territory right? Go find somewhere more peaceful to live.”

“That’s a good idea,” Wolfshade said.

I nodded, taking a few steps in the direction the eagle was flying in. But, I didn’t make it far before Wolfshade suddenly stepped in front of me, his brow furrowed.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

I blinked in confusion.

“Going after the eagle, of course,” I said.

“Right now?” he meowed, tilting his head to the side.

“When else?” I asked, my tail tip twitching slightly. “We might not have a chance like this again. What if we don’t see it again later?”

Wolfshade looked increasingly bewildered.

“Then we can comfort ourselves with the fact that it must nest far from here, so it’s unlikely to return to our territory,” Wolfshade said.

“But we—“ I began to protest.

“Lightningfire, you look like you’re barely staying on your paws right now,” he said sharply in his deep voice. “You’re clearly in no state to go after it. And, I’m certainly not going alone because it would be entirely mouse-brained for one cat to take on an eagle.”

I blinked in surprise that he had so easily noticed my exhaustion. Wolfshade gazed at me for a moment before letting out a huff of incredulous laughter.

“What? You thought I wouldn’t notice that you’re going to collapse at any moment?” he asked.

“I- I thought I was doing a better job at keeping up than that,” I stammered.

“Why do you think I suggested that we collect our prey and head back to camp?” he asked, his green gaze glinting teasingly.

“I don’t know— maybe because we’ve been out for ages already?!” I huffed, my tail tip flicking.

Wolfshade’s whiskers twitched. I grumbled to myself, torn between happiness that he was amused and annoyance that it came at my expense.

“Come on, tireless one,” Wolfshade deadpanned, turning in the direction of where we stashed our prey and gesturing with his tail to indicate for me to follow.

I rolled my eyes, but a soft purr rumbled in my throat as I padded after him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and especially to those who left comments and kudos! :)


	41. Teacher

I padded back into gorge at the head of my patrol, my tail held high. I’d been back to warrior duties for about a half a moon now, and just a few sunrises ago, Echosong had given me a cautious go ahead to return to full-time. Things were finally starting to go back to normal.

Even better, this was the first border patrol I’d been appointed to lead, ever. As we walked around, I’d kept an eye out for the eagle, but there hadn’t been much sign of the raptor since the first day Wolfshade and I had noticed it. We had warned Leafstar about it that day of course, but since then, besides a few far-off glances of it here and there, it seemed to be staying out of our territory. At least, for now.

The border patrol had ended up being a rather uneventful stroll around the territory, but I was still glad for the experience. Hopefully Sharpclaw and Leafstar would notice my competence and assign me more responsibilities.

I nodded at Rabbitleap, Fallowfern, and Tatteredtail dismissing them from the patrol as we entered into the camp. It was a warm sun-high and a lot of my clan-mates seemed to be out in camp at the moment, sharing tongues, eating prey, or just napping in pools of sunlight. My gaze flickered around the camp, searching for Wolfshade, but there was no sign of his dark pelt, and my eyes settled on Leafstar and my younger siblings instead. Wrenkit and Rosekit were wrestling together as Leafstar watched on from the edge of camp. I trotted over to them, letting out a mew of greeting.

“Lightningfire!” Wrenkit gasped in excitement, sprinting over to me with Rosekit hot on his heels.

Wrenkit pounced on my side, and I exhaled sharply, my breath driven out of me as he knocked me to the ground. Rosekit sprung on me as well, purring loudly.

“Ah! Quit it you two! You’re squishing me!” I growled playfully, batting at them with gentle swats of my paws.

My siblings were four moons old and growing up fast. They weren’t full-sized yet of course, but they still seemed _huge_ now to me. Their legs were so much longer, and their pudgy, kitten roundness was gone— replaced with large ears and paws instead. But, clearly they had lost none of their playful attitudes.

“You two better not be too rough with Lightningfire,” Leafstar said sternly. “Remember, she was really hurt not that long ago.”

“Oh, I’m fine Mom,” I reassured, shrugging my siblings off and stumbling back to my paws.

Wrenkit and Rosekit leapt away, squeaking as they resumed whatever battle they had been waging together before I had shown up. I closed the rest of the distance between myself and Leafstar, lying down next to her. She purred and began grooming my ears while my eyes half-drifted shut as I enjoyed the warm touch of the sun on my pelt.

“How was the border patrol?” Leafstar asked after a few moments of silence had passed.

“Everything is peaceful,” I said, my eyes flicking back open. “This was the first border patrol I’ve gotten to lead.”

“Really?” Leafstar said, pausing her grooming. “And, you’re so young too! That’s good news! Sharpclaw must see potential in you.”

I snorted.

“I’m not that young of a warrior anymore,” I pointed out. “Creamclaw and Seedheart are younger than me. And, _Nightstorm_ has gotten to lead dozens of patrols by now.”

“Well, Nightstorm was Sharpclaw’s apprentice,” Leafstar mewed, her voice measured but her eyes glinting playfully. “And, Sharpclaw may say he doesn’t play favorites, but everyone knows that’s not true.”

“Well, _you’re_ clan leader,” I said, my tail-tip twitching. “Can’t you tell Sharpclaw to assign me as the leader for more patrols?”

“Telling Sharpclaw to assign you as patrol leader more often just because you’re my kit doesn’t seem very fair,” Leafstar said, arching a brow.

I rolled my eyes.

“So, Sharpclaw gets to have favorites, but you don’t?” I scoffed.

Leafstar stared at me, unimpressed by this argument.

“What would your clan-mates think?” she asked.

I sighed and grumbled, closing my eyes again.

“Well you wouldn’t tell Sharpclaw to assign me to lead more patrols because I’m your kit,” I said. “You’d tell him it’s because I’m good at it.”

Leafstar was quiet for a few long moments. I was close to drifting off into a nap when she spoke again.

“Is this something that’s actually bothering you?” she asked.

I opened my eyes and looked over at her.

“I don’t know,” I sighed. “Kinda. A bit.”

“Haven’t you gotten to lead hunting patrols before?” she asked, tilting her head to the side.

“Yeah, but that’s not a _real_ responsibility,” I meowed. “Hunting patrols mostly consist of walking out into the woods together and then splitting up with everyone hunting separately. Border patrols are the only ones that can have a proper leader.”

“Why are you looking for more responsibility?” Leafstar said, her gaze intent on mine. “This never seemed to trouble you so much before the badger attack.”

I glanced away from her, scuffling my paws on the ground. As usual, my mother’s insight had cut straight to the heart of the matter.

“I spent an entire moon unable to do _anything_ ,” I said. “Besides help Echosong that is. Now I’m finally a warrior again, but I feel like I’ve been left behind. I wanna prove myself.”

“I know you’re a good warrior, Lightningfire,” Leafstar said softly, touching her nose to my ear.

I pulled away, glancing at her sharply.

“It’s more than you knowing,” I said. “I want to prove myself to _me._ I don’t just want to be a good warrior. I want to be the _best.”_

Leafstar studied me intensely in silence for a heartbeat.

“This doesn’t have anything to do with Wolfshade does it?” she asked suddenly.

My brow furrowed.

“No. This isn’t about him,” I said. “It’s about me.”

“How is your relationship with him doing right now?” she asked, pressing on.

I looked away from her again.

“We’re just friends,” I murmured. “We’re getting to know each other again. I don’t want to force anything.”

“And, you throwing yourself into your warrior duties doesn’t have anything to do with trying to distract yourself from him?” Leafstar insisted.

My shoulders stiffened.

“No!” I protested. “I just want to be the best warrior I can be.”

I gazed at her face, trying to see if she believed me. She seemed unsure, but to be fair, I wasn’t totally certain that I believed myself either. I gave my ears a small shake.

_I have always wanted to be a great warrior, that’s not a lie. But, it is also nice to be busy instead of moping over him all the time… So what if it’s a bit of both?_

Leafstar finally gave a small nod of acceptance for my answer. Then she glanced out over the camp, shifting her weight from paw to paw in thoughtful silence.

“You know, I never wanted leadership,” she said in a soft voice. “It was something that was quite literally just given to me instead. I’ve learned to shoulder the burden, although if I’m being honest, I would not want my kits to have to go through the same.”

My eyes widened in surprise. My mother had never talked so candidly about being leader before to me.

“Even though you didn’t want it, you still do a brilliant job at it,” I meowed quietly, brushing my muzzle against her shoulder. “But, besides, who said anything about me being leader? I don’t want you to go anywhere anytime soon. I just want to be a great warrior.”

Leafstar purred softly.

“But, what comes after being a great warrior? A great deputy? Then a great leader?” she meowed, glancing over at me with her sharp, intelligent eyes. “The drive you’re describing is hard to satisfy. It doesn’t go away once one goal is met. It pushes onward.”

I blinked at her in dismay, my stomach twisting.

“No!” I meowed. “You think I’d want you to die, so I could replace you?! Or Sharpclaw? I love you!”

Leafstar brushed her cheek against my own.

“I know you don’t want that,” she soothed. “I’m not faulting you for your ambition, dear. Ambition is not something inherently bad. I’m just warning you against running yourself ragged trying to chase a ghost.”

I relaxed some, relieved. But, my brow furrowed in confusion at her last few words.

_What does she mean? Being a great warrior isn’t a ‘ghost.' It’s a goal I can easily achieve if I’m given the opportunity._

My tail twitched as I mused on it. But, before I could truly figure it out, Leafstar spoke again.

“If more responsibility is what you truly wish though,” she said. “I can help you with that. I may not be able to tell Sharpclaw to make you leader of each patrol, but there are three kits who are ready to become apprentices.”

My ears jerked up in surprise as excitement prickled at my paws.

“Are you saying that you might allow me to train one of Cherrytail’s kits?!” I said, my voice hushed but vibrating with eagerness.

A low purr rumbled in Leafstar’s throat.

“You get along with them well. You’ve been close to them practically since their eyes opened,” she said. “I think you could be a good fit as a mentor for one of them.”

My head spun.

“Really?!” I meowed incredulously, blinking hard.

Leafstar nudged me with her muzzle.

“Would I tease about such a thing?” she asked, her gaze sparkling.

“Oh thank you Leafstar!” I exclaimed, kneading my claws eagerly into the ground. “I would love that! I promise I won’t let you— or Cherrytail or Sharpclaw— down!”

Leafstar nodded.

“It’s decided then,” she meowed.

She rose to her paws.

“I see no reason to wait,” she continued. “I’ll hold their ceremonies today. Do you mind keeping an eye on Wrenkit and Rosekit? There are a few things I need to attend to first.”

“Yeah of course,” I said with a vigorous nod. “Who will the other two mentors be?”

“I’ve got a few cats in mind,” she purred. “But, you’ll just have to wait and see like the rest of the Clan.”

I nodded, and Leafstar padded away. I purred to myself as I turned to watch my siblings, suddenly in a great mood.

_I get to be a mentor!_

My mind whirled as I imagined what it must be like.

_I’ll be able to show my apprentice everything I know, and I’ll help them grow into a brilliant warrior!_

My tail flicked from side to side in excitement.

_And, these are Cherrytail’s and Sharpclaw’s kits! Their parents are such strong warriors, Ripplekit, Owlkit, and Adderkit surely must be great apprentices. They have so much good potential!_

I blinked, pulling myself out of my thoughts as Rosekit and Wrenkit came tumbling towards me.

"Take that, fox!" Rosekit snarled, giving Wrenkit a sharp nip on the ear.

"Ow! Hey!" Wrenkit said.

"Foxes can't talk," Rosekit reminded Wrenkit.

Wrenkit's quickly gave a deep growl, clamping his jaws shut against his words. He hunched his back, sticking out his tail. A loud purr rumbled in my chest at his ridiculous fox imitation.

_These kits haven't even ever seen a fox!_

Feeling a surge of playful energy, I rolled to my paws.

“Watch out!” I said in the deepest, rumbling voice I could manage. “Another fox has appeared, and she’s gonna eat you!”

I gave my best angry growl and sprung at them.

 _"Eek!"_ Rosekit cried, her eyes widening in mock fear.

She and Wrenkit scattered. I swiped at them, my claws sheathed, snarling and bristling out my fur.

“Get her!” Wrenkit yowled.

He dashed over to me, leaping onto my back. I grunted under his weight, but I managed to stay on my paws, shaking my shoulders as I tried to dislodge him. Meanwhile, Rosekit leapt into my side. I allowed myself to lose my balance now, tumbling to my side and rolling to trap Wrenkit, who was still clinging to my back, beneath me.

 _"Mmmph!_ Get off of me!" Wrenkit said, wiggling under me, his voice muffled from my fur.

"Argh! I can't. I'm dead!" I said, lolling my tongue out of my mouth, closing my eyes and dramatically flopping my head back. “You two slayed the fox!”

Rosekit tried to stifle her purrs, her shoulders shaking as she watched Wrenkit struggle out from under my body while I lay there limply.

"Ah!" Wrenkit gasped for breath as he got to his paws, shaking his fluffy brown and white pelt. "You almost suffocated me!"

I cracked an eye open to look at him.

"You look fine to me," I purred. “That was repayment for you two squishing me earlier.”

I closed my eyes and went back to lying in the sunlight, still purring to myself.

"Lightningfire! Lightningfire!”

My ears pricked and my eyes opened as I heard my name being called repeatedly. I rose to my paws to see Owlkit, Adderkit, and Ripplekit running over to me and Wernkit and Rosekit. My purring grew louder as I straightened into a sit.

"Guess what day it is?!" Owlkit cried.

“What?!" I asked, knowing full well what the answer would be.

"We get to be apprentices!" Adderkit said, crouching down and digging his claws into the ground in excitement.

"What? That's today! Not fair!" Wrenkit said, his brow furrowing. "I want to be an apprentice too!"

"Me too!" Rosekit added, running over.

"Well you're not old enough yet," Adderkit said, puffing out his chest.

Wrenkit's face fell, his whiskers drooping.

"Don't worry though, it'll be your turn soon," Ripplekit said.

"But, it's our turn today!" Owlkit cried, leaping around, her fluffy fur bristling.

I purred warmly at her excitement, my gaze sweeping over the three of them.

_Who will be my apprentice?_

There was Adderkit, who was, in more ways than just his dark ginger pelt, a lot like a smaller version of Sharpclaw. He was brave and strong, the largest of his litter. Then there was Ripplekit. He was timid but thoughtful and intelligent. I didn’t doubt he would be a good listener and try his hardest at his tasks. And, finally there was Owlkit. She was fiery and full of excitement and energy, and exactly what I imagined Cherrytail must have been like as a kit, before the wisdom she gained from age tempered her.

"Behave yourselves, you three," Cherrytail said, padding over to us.

Owlkit hardly seemed to hear her. She was still springing around her pelt bristling. Cherrytail’s brow furrowed as she gazed at her daughter.

"Are you really going to go to your apprentice ceremony looking like that?" she asked.

Cherrytail scooped her kit over to her with one swipe of her paw, bending her head to give her a quick grooming.

"Mom! I look fine!" Owlkit protested, her long, fluffy fur standing up every which way.

"Your fur is a mess!” Cherrytail said between licks, trying to flatten it down. “If the Clan sees you like this, they’ll think I’m some sort of terrible mother who doesn’t even groom her kits!”

Owlkit wiggled out of her grasp.

"Apprentices can groom their own fur," Owlkit said with a huff, shaking out her pelt and making the fur Cherrytail had managed to flatten poof up again.

"Listen to your mother," Sharpclaw grumbled, coming over to stand at Cherrytail's shoulder, towering over his kits.

"Yes, Sharpclaw," the three kits chorused, even Owlkit bowing her head to him.

Sharpclaw's sharp green gaze softened, and he dipped his head to give each of his kits a nudge with his muzzle.

"I'm very proud of each of you," he said. "Listen to your mentors, and the three of you will make wonderful apprentices."

Sharpclaw turned to look over his shoulder.

I followed his gaze, and I saw Leafstar bounding up Rockpile. My heart pounded in excitement, and I lifted my chin.

"Looks like the ceremony is about to start," Sharpclaw said. "I've got to go."

He turned to gaze back down at his kits.

"Be good," he reminded them.

Sharpclaw turned and padded over to Rockpile, taking his seat at its base. As he settled down, Leafstar raised her tail.

"Let all cats old enough to catch their own prey, gather under Rockpile for a Clan meeting!" she yowled.

"This is it!" Owlkit said, bouncing around on her toes.

Cats began to gather around, padding over from the dens, appearing from the shadows under the cliff and blinking in the sunlight.

Cherrytail gave her kits a nudge with her muzzle, nodding towards the center of the camp. I saw their eyes widen with excitement and bit of anxiety. Even Owlkit shot a nervous look over her shoulder as they padded forward into the center of the ring of cats.

Once all our clan-mates were sitting, Leafstar nimbly bounded down from Rockpile. She stopped in front of the three kits, blinking down at them.

"Adderkit, Ripplekit, and Owlkit, you have all reached the age of six moons, and it is time for you to be apprenticed," Leafstar meowed, her voice ringing clearly through camp.

She turned to the first kit in the line, Adderkit.

"From this day on, until you receive your warrior name, you will be known as Adderpaw. Your mentor will be Egg," Leafstar said.

The cream colored tom stepped forward, his eyes shining with pride.

"I hope Egg will pass down all he knows on to you," Leafstar said, turning to look at the warrior. "Egg, you are ready to take on an apprentice. You had received excellent training from Sharpclaw, and you have shown yourself to be brave and loyal. You will be the mentor of Adderpaw, and I expect you to pass on all you know to him."

Egg dipped his head to Leafstar, his blue eyes pleased. Then he touched his nose to Adderpaw's, and the two of them stepped back.

Leafstar turned to Ripplekit next. The small grey kit looked up at her with wide eyes, trembling slightly.

"From this day on, until you receive your warrior name, you will be known as Ripplepaw," Leafstar meowed, blinking kindly down at the nervous kit. "Your mentor will be Sagewhisker. I hope Sagewhisker will pass down all he knows to you.”

Sagewhisker rose to his paws, his light green eyes widening slightly in surprise. His tail curled up happily over his back as he strode over to Leafstar and Ripplepaw. Ripplepaw peered up at him, blinking a lot.

"Sagewhisker you are ready to take on an apprentice," Leafstar said. "You had received excellent training from Petalnose, and you have shown yourself to be thoughtful and hardworking. You will be the mentor of Ripplepaw, and I expect you to pass on all you know to him."

Sagewhisker and Ripplepaw touched noses, and they stepped back too. Leafstar turned to the last kit, Owlkit. Owlkit was fidgeting from foot to foot, looking like she just couldn't make herself stay still no matter how hard she tried.

"From this day on, until you receive your warrior name, you will be known as Owlpaw," Leafstar said to the small white and ginger cat.

Owlpaw finally stilled, gazing up at Leafstar earnestly. Leafstar raised her head, and her eyes met mine from across the camp.

"Your mentor will be Lightningfire," Leafstar announced.

I straightened my back suddenly, my excitement turning a bit to nervousness as I felt the eyes of all my clan-mates turn to me.

"I hope Lightningfire will pass down all she knows to you," Leafstar said.

I stayed sitting for a moment, like my paws had frozen to the ground. Leafstar continued to gaze at me in silence.

_Oh! Mouse-dung! Get up!_

I quickly rose to my feet, striding over to Leafstar and Owlpaw. Owlpaw looked at me from over her shoulder as I walked over, her fluffy white tail sticking straight up.

"Lightningfire, you are ready to take on an apprentice," Leafstar continued as I stood in front of her.

My heart pounded eagerly. I shot a glance out of the corner of my eye down at Owlpaw. She was rocking happily on her toes, gazing over at me.

"You had received excellent training from Cherrytail, and you have shown yourself to be dedicated and clever," Leafstar said. "You will be the mentor of Owlpaw, and I expect you to pass on all you know to her."

I dipped my head to my mother, then I turned to Owlpaw. I bent my head forward, and Owlpaw delicately touched her bright pink nose to mine. Her fur bristled with excitement as she gazed at me.

"Adderpaw! Ripplepaw! Owlpaw!" the Clan shouted.

I purred warmly as I straightened. Cats padded over, purring congratulations to the new apprentices.

"I'm not the only apprentice anymore!" Sootypaw meowed happily, his tail curling up as he twined around the three new apprentices.

Sharpclaw puffed his chest out, looking so filled with pride that he might burst. Cherrytail leaned on his dark ginger shoulder, her eyes glowing warmly with love. Owlpaw did a happy little spin, gazing gleefully at all the cats surrounding her.

Sagewhisker turned to me, his eyes shining.

“It’s so exciting that we get to be mentors together!” he said.

I nodded, purring.

“Yeah, I can’t wait to start training!” I said.

“Congrats on the apprentice,” Nightstorm rumbled in a low voice from behind me.

I turned around to glance over at my brother. His words seemed genuine, although I did notice what seemed to be a bit of jealousy glittering in his green eyes.

“Thanks,” I meowed, nodding at him. “I hope I make Sharpclaw and Cherrytail proud training their daughter.”

“You’re lucky to get an apprentice so soon after you recovered from your injuries,” he added.

“Yeah I am,” I said, but my stomach flipped uncomfortably as his words stirred up some worry.

_He has a point. Am I even actually prepared to have an apprentice? I've only just begun getting used to being a warrior again…_

Nightstorm nodded silently, padding off. My ears perked up as I noticed Wolfshade walking over to me to take his place, and I was distracted from those thoughts.

“Wolfshade!” I said with a happy blink. “You’re here! I didn’t see you in camp earlier.”

“I came back from a hunt right before the ceremony began,” he said. “Congratulations. Owlpaw is lucky to have you as her mentor.”

I bowed my head, my ears warming at the praise.

“Thank you. I hope I’m ready,” I meowed.

“I’m sure you are,” he said, his gaze warm.

My pelt flushed with even more heat. I lifted my eyes from the ground and our gazes locked together. Wolfshade cleared his throat, but he was spared from saying anything more when Owlpaw leapt in front of me.

"What are we going to do now!?" Owlpaw asked, blinking at me and bouncing from foot to foot.

"Um…" I said, noticing that our clan-mates had dispersed after the ceremony, and I had no plan in mind.

"How about we practice some hunting?" I suggested quickly.

My gaze flickered back over to Wolfshade. He dipped his head to me in a silent goodbye. I purred in response as he turned and padded away.

"Yes! Great!" Owlpaw said, running in a small circle around me.

I gazed at my apprentice, warmth spreading in my chest.

"Don't tire yourself out already," I said to her with a purr, turning and beginning to walk towards the edge of camp.

"I won't!" she squeaked, excitedly dashing to my side. "I feel like I can run for moons."

I remembered how tired I was at the end of my first day as an apprentice, and my whiskers twitched in amusement at her comment.

_We'll see about that._

“Hey!” Sagewhisker’s voice called as he and Ripplepaw came trotting over to us. “Mind if we join you? Egg already has a border patrol to go on, so he’s taking Adderpaw with him there.”

“Not at all,” I said with a nod. “Let’s head out.”

The four of us padded through the gorge and towards the forest.

“Okay, so who can tell me what the first step in hunting is?” I asked, my gaze flickering to the apprentices.

“Um… the hunting crouch!” Owlpaw answered immediately, her yellow eyes lighting up. “Look! I'm really good at it! Sharpclaw showed me how!”

She dashed ahead of the group, crouched down, then quickly stalked forward a few steps before springing on a fallen leaf. She mauled the leaf for a moment before looking back up at me with tiny brown shreds of the leaf on her muzzle. Sagewhisker and I exchanged an amused glance. Meanwhile, Ripplepaw’s expression was thoughtful, like he was still considering my question.

"See?" Owlpaw asked, slipping into the crouch again and stalking in a circle around me before I even got the chance to reply. “How’s this?”

It was amazing how much noise her paw-steps made for such a small cat, but I had to admit, when it came at least to her form, her hunter's crouch was pretty much flawless.

"You need to walk quieter, try putting your paws down more softly," I said. "But, your crouch form is very good."

Owlpaw started delicately placing her feet down, still stalking in a circle around me.

“How’s this?” she asked again, but this time in a loud whisper.

“Better, but the hunting crouch wasn't the answer I was looking for," I added.

"Huh?" Owlpaw asked, tilting her head at me, stopping her pacing. "What then?”

“You have to find your prey before you stalk up to it," Ripplepaw piped up, his green eyes wide. “Right? So the first step must be tracking the prey.”

I nodded.

“Yes, very good Ripplepaw,” I meowed, glancing at him.

Ripplepaw’s chest puffed out in pride.

"Oh!" Owlpaw said, her tail sticking straight up. "Of course!"

“Can either of you two scent anything?" Sagewhisker asked as we walked into the forest.

We paused beneath the cover of the trees, standing close to the pebbly river bank.

"Trees…" Owlpaw meowed, sniffing the air. "Lots of other plants… Mud…"

"You have to try to filter those scents out. We're looking for prey," I reminded her.

Owlpaw wrinkled her nose.

"But, there's so many smells!" she protested. “How can I find the one I want?”

"You know what prey smells like," I meowed, my brow furrowing. “Open your mouth to draw the air over your tongue. Search for it through the other scents. Concentrate.”

Owlpaw closed her eyes and took a deep breath for a few moments, standing still for once.

“It’s hard,” she meowed, her tail drooping in defeat.

I frowned, my tail flicking.

_Owlpaw is smarter than this! Why did she give up so easily? Am I just not explaining it well enough?_

“Why don’t you give it a try, Ripplepaw?” Sagewhisker prompted, glancing over at his apprentice.

After a moment of hesitation, Ripplepaw lifted his nose to the breeze, inhaling slowly.

“I think I smell a vole,” he said after a few heartbeats, glancing at Sagewhisker for confirmation.

“That’s good!” Sagewhisker said with an encouraging purr.

Owlpaw’s tail drooped even lower.

“Are you able to scent the vole now?” I asked her. “Now that you know what scent you’re looking for among the rest?”

Owlpaw sniffed the breeze uncertainly.

“Maybe?” she said.

“Why don’t you track the vole down, Ripplepaw,” Sagewhisker said. “Can you tell what way the scent is coming from?”

Ripplepaw took a few hesitant steps down the back of the river.

“This way?” he asked, glancing back at us from over his shoulder.

“Yes, good job,” Sagewhisker said, padding after him. “Get down into your hunting crouch now and remember to place your paws down really gently as you stalk closer.”

“Um, you guys go ahead,” I called to Sagewhisker and Ripplepaw. “Owlpaw and I are going to practice scenting for a little bit longer while you’re hunting that vole.”

Sagewhisker nodded.

“Alright, see you in a bit,” he meowed.

He and Ripplepaw slipped into the undergrowth.

“Aw,” Owlpaw whined, her ears flattening. “I wanted to catch that vole.”

“Ripplepaw caught its scent so it’s only fair that he’s the one that goes after it,” I pointed out. “Besides, you won’t be able to catch anything at all if you can’t find it first.”

Owlpaw jutted her chin out, pouting.

I sighed quietly to myself.

_What am I doing wrong? I thought this would be a lot easier._

“Okay, let’s slow down and start from the beginning with scenting,” I said, taking a seat and wrapping my tail around my paws.

Owlpaw reluctantly took a seat as well, although her tail still swished agitatedly from side to side.

“You want to breathe in deeply, draw the scents into your mouth slowly,” I said. “That will give you the highest sensitivity.”

“It’s not that I can’t smell _stuff._ It’s that I can’t smell the right thing,” Owlpaw sighed, her tail lashing more quickly.

“Don’t get discouraged,” I said. “Try again. You just have to ignore the scents you don’t want. Like the plants and stuff.”

“But, they’re so overwhelming!” Owlpaw protested.

My brow furrowed as I turned over her problem in my mind.

“Maybe it’s just because it’s your first time out in the forest,” I said thoughtfully. “I’m sure once you get used to it, it won’t bother you as much.”

Owlpaw tilted in head to the side.

“You think so?” she asked.

I nodded.

_Maybe there isn’t any point on forcing her to keep trying scenting right now. It seems like Owlpaw isn’t interested in it, and it may be impossible until she’s more adjusted to the scents of the forest._

I got to my paws.

“We’ll give you some time to adjust, and in the meanwhile, I’ll begin the process of tracking something, and then you take over so you can practicing your stalking alright?” I said,

Owlpaw’s eyes lit up.

“Yes!” she yowled, springing to her paws, immediately back to her normal eager self.

“Owlpaw, you have to be quieter, or there’ll be no prey to hunt since you’ll scare it all off!” I admonished.

“Oops. I mean, _yes,”_ Owlpaw meowed in a much more hushed voice.

I did my best to stifle a purr of amusement as I turned away from her. I lifted my nose to the breeze and scented the air. Squirrel scent caught my attention almost immediately, and I went stalking after it, gesturing for Owlpaw to follow.

As the scent grew stronger, I flicked my tail at Owlpaw to call her up to me.

“You take the lead,” I said. “You’ve got the scent now, right?”

She nodded eagerly, her eyes bright.

“Remember to walk quietly,” I added as I nodded for her to go.

She slid into her hunter’s crouch and stalked forward. I crept right at her side, spending half of my attention on her to evaluate her form, while using my other half to stop myself from treading on twigs or crunchy leaves. As we brushed through some ferns, I froze, spotting the squirrel several fox-lengths away, perched on a tree stump, grooming its face. Owlpaw’s eyes widened as she caught sight of it as well, her muscles beneath her fluffy coat tensing.

I touched my tail-tip to her shoulder before she could prowl forward.

"Check the wind. You don't want your scent being brought to the prey," I whispered in her ear.

Owlpaw blinked in acknowledgement. She raised her head, letting the breeze stir her whiskers, then she changed her approach, slipping away from me in a different direction. I stayed crouching in the patch of ferns as she stalked up to the squirrel. Once she was close enough, Owlpaw didn't hesitate a moment before pouncing. She sprung right up to the stump, her claws grabbing the squirrel, and she brought her head down to deliver a killing bite before it could even squeak. Owlpaw looked up at me in triumphant, the limp body of the squirrel dangling from her jaws.

A rush of pride filled my chest. She had managed to catch something on her first try!

“Fantastic!" I purred, straightening and walking over to her.

Owlpaw's yellow eyes shone with delight.

"That kill was very clean," I said. "Keep this up, and you'll be the best hunter in the clan in no time.”

Owlpaw purred loudly. My heart warmed with fondness for her, although I also felt a prickle of guilt that I had allowed myself to get frustrated with her earlier.

_I was probably expecting too much from her. It is her first day out of camp after all._

“Although to be the best hunter, I need to learn how to scent first,” Owlpaw said drily, dropping the squirrel from her mouth. “How did you catch the scent from so far away?”

“I’ve had a lot of practice,” I said, flicking my tail. “You’ll learn it too.”

My ears pricked as I heard the sound of approaching paw-steps, I turned towards the noise and saw Sagewhisker and Ripplepaw pushing their way out of the undergrowth.

“There you guys are,” Sagewhisker said. “I thought I heard meowing over here.”

“Look what I caught!” Owlpaw declared, leaping off the stump with the squirrel clutched in her fangs.

“Great job!” Sagewhisker purred.

“Aw,” Ripplepaw said, his whiskers drooping. “I missed the vole.”

“It’s okay,” Owlpaw purred, nudging her brother’s shoulder. “Lightningfire had to scent the squirrel for me before I caught it.”

“You both will figure it out soon,” Sagewhisker reassured before glancing at me. “Should we keep going?”

I nodded.

“Owlpaw, scrape some dirt over the squirrel, and we’ll try to find some more prey,” I said.

"Alright, Lightningfire!" Owlpaw chirped, trotting over to a bush to stash the fresh-kill under.

I purred as I watched her pad away, her pelt bristling with excitement.

_I think I could get used to this._


	42. The Stranger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content Warning for misogynistic and ableist language in this chapter.

My eyes blinked open as a cool breeze blew into the warriors den, stirring my whiskers. I yawned deeply, uncurling from a ball and reaching my paws out in front of and behind me in a long, luxurious stretch which left my muscles aching in the most pleasant way possible. Then I sat up in my nest, my eyes locked on the pale light that streamed in through the cave’s entrance. I rose to my paws and padded out of the den.

It was just before dawn, and the cloudy sky was a soft grey like silver cotton. For the moment, the camp was empty. Not even Sharpclaw was out of his nest yet to organize patrols. I climbed down the cliff, taking a seat in exactly the center of the empty camp and digging my paws into the soft, fine sand that coated the ground.

I took a deep breath. The air was still cool from the night but soon the green-leaf sun would come out and warm the world up around me.

_What should I do today?_

Since I was already up, I could join the dawn patrol. Or, maybe I should just go hunting. I could see if Wolfshade wanted to…

_Oh… wait. Owlpaw. Right._

I gave my head a small shake. In my just-barely-awake state, I had completely forgotten about my new apprentice for a moment.

Even though I'd been a mentor for several sunrises, I still wasn’t quite used to the idea that I couldn't just leave camp whenever I wanted now, without telling anyone. It felt a little bit like being an apprentice again, although at least this time, I was the one deciding what we should do and where we should go.

I turned back to face the dens, padding over to the cliff to scale the trail to the apprentices’ den. I poked my head inside the dim, cozy cave. Owlpaw, Adderpaw, and Ripplepaw were curled up together in a bundle in one large nest. The litter-mates slept peacefully, their sides brushing as their flanks inflated with each breath. I paused in the entrance of the den, allowing myself for a moment to gaze affectionately at the young cats. I knew this would be the most serene and calm Owlpaw would be all day, so I had to savor it.

Then I walked over to Owlpaw and gave her side a soft poke with my paw.

Owlpaw twitched, but didn’t rouse, just rolling over as she continued to sleep.

“Owlpaw,” I said in a quiet voice, poking her again, a bit more insisting this time.

Her ears flicked.

“Mmm… ah? Five more heartbeats…” Owlpaw murmured, her eyes still shut.

She started to softly snore again.

"Come on, Owlpaw," I said. "The day's not getting any younger.”

I bent my head to nudge her face with my muzzle this time, and she let out a reluctant groan, cracking open one bright yellow eye.

“The sun’s not even up yet,” Owlpaw protested, squinting at me. “And, Adderpaw and Ripplepaw are still sleeping.”

"Not if you keep meowing on like this," Adderpaw grumbled, curling into a tighter dark ginger ball.

"I expect you down in camp very soon," I said, straightening and peering down at her.

“What kind of cat wakes their apprentice up this early?” Owlpaw bemoaned dramatically, covering her face with her paws and still not rising from her nest. “Are you some kind of sadist? Sharpclaw even isn’t this demanding.”

I let out a huff of amusement, my tail flicking mischievously.

“If that’s true then I’ll head down and tell Sharpclaw that you won’t get up, so he can come up here and wake you instead,” I threatened.

In an instant, Owlpaw was sitting up in her nest.

“I’m awake! I’m awake!” she meowed, blinking sleep from her eyes.

I purred.

“Good,” I said with a nod. “Remember: come down to camp soon.”

As I left the den, I saw that it was properly dawn now, and more cats were up and mingling in the middle of camp, chatting and grooming. I quickly noticed Wolfshade near the base of Rockpile. He was trying to flatten an unruly, tangled piece of fur on his back. I bounded down the cliff and trotted over to him.

"Good morning," I meowed.

"'Morning," he muttered around the fur in his mouth.

I began the task of grooming my own pelt. It took me only a few swipes of my tongue to flatten the rumpled areas. The quick grooming didn’t make my fur the sleekest or cleanest in the world, but it was at least presentable, which was good enough for me. Finished, I lifted my gaze to see Wolfshade still struggling with the knot on his back, his head craned back awkwardly to reach it.

I couldn’t stop my whiskers from twitching with slight amusement at the sight of his contorted form.

“Need some help with that?” I asked.

He lifted his head with a frustrated sigh.

“Go for it. StarClan, my neck is aching,” he complained, rolling his head.

I leaned over and started working the tangle out of his fur. Wolfshade’s gaze flickered over my expediently groomed pelt.

“Shouldn’t you have finished grooming yourself first before you helped me?” he asked.

“I am finished,” I mumbled as I continued licking him. “I prioritize function over vanity.”

“Your pelt is still sticking up in some spots,” he pointed out.

“My fur has a little waviness to it, it just does that,” I said, before gently tugging some of the tangle apart with my teeth.

“And, you have bits of your nest in it,” he meowed, nosing a tiny piece of moss from my shoulder.

I huffed and pulled my head back, the tangle on his back only half-undone. I glared at him.

“You talk a big game for a cat who has such a big mat,” I said. “That didn’t pop up overnight.”

“It’s on my back! I was hard for me to notice before,” he said, a faint scowl drifting over his features.

“Well shut up about the state of my pelt, unless you want the tangle to stay there,” I said teasingly, leaning back forward to finish grooming him.

“Fine, bossy-tail,” Wolfshade huffed, but he didn’t actually sound annoyed.

I rolled my eyes, but I continued grooming the tangle. I let out a soft mew of victory as I pulled the last of the hairs apart. I lifted my head up, my whiskers twitching in satisfaction.

“Done!” I declared.

Wolfshade shook out his fur, giving a soft sigh of relief.

“Thank you, that’s much better,” he said.

I stretched and flopped over onto my side on the sandy ground.

“And, my services will only cost you one freshly caught thrush,” I purred.

Wolfshade gazed down at me, tilting his head to the side as his eyes shimmered with amusement.

“I have to pay you for your help?” he asked. “I thought you were doing it out of the goodness of your heart.”

I crinkled my face up at him.

“Where in StarClan’s name did you get that idea?” I scoffed as if that was the most ridiculous suggestion I’d ever heard.

Wolfshade gazed meaningfully at me, and I stiffened. It suddenly felt as if the two of us were playing a game of chicken.

The unspoken words in his eyes were the same as the answer that he would’ve given if he had not forgotten his memories— if there had been no badger attack— ‘Because you love me.’ And, I would have huffed and puffed in mock bluster, but knowing there was no good counter to that, I would’ve finally relented and said that he was right.

But, he couldn’t say it now, even if he was thinking it. Of course, he knew that I had loved him; I told him so. He probably knew that I _still_ loved him too. But, saying it would be too intimate, even if he was saying it just to tease.

So, instead we were stuck in this silent showdown. My stomach flipped with nerves, but as the pause dragged on, I widened my eyes at him, almost in a challenge. Was I daring him to say it? Did I want him to say it? …Honestly I wasn’t sure.

Wolfshade was the first to break eye-contact, clearing his throat as he glanced away from me.

“You drive a hard bargain,” he rumbled in his deep voice. “One freshly caught thrush it is.”

We were saved from saying anything else when Sharpclaw let out a loud meow to signal for the warriors to gather around for him to assign patrols. I got to my paws, and Wolfshade rose next to me. Together we joined the crowd forming around Sharpclaw

"Alright, I want one hunting patrol to be led Sparrowpelt. Take Sagewhisker, Ripplepaw, Creekfeather and…" Sharpclaw was meowing.

As Sharpclaw talked, my gaze drifted over the crowd, searching for my apprentice.

_Where is she?_

"I'm here," Owlpaw gasped, dashing over to me through the crowd of warriors like my thoughts had summoned her to me.

Her fluffy white and dark ginger fur was still ruffled with sleep, and bits of moss clung to it all over like she has grown green spots overnight. She gave a huge yawn, leaning against my side for balance as her eyelids fluttered sleepily. Wolfshade and I exchanged an amused glance.

I leaned over towards him to whisper in his ear.

“And, you thought _I_ didn’t groom my pelt after I woke up,” I said.

"Lightningfire."

My gaze flickered to Sharpclaw.

"Lead a hunting patrol. Take Creamclaw, Whisperheart, Wolfshade, and Owlpaw with you," Sharpclaw said.

Owlpaw's eyes immediately snapped wide-open.

"Hunting! Yes!" she said, bouncing up and down on her toes like she had already forgotten she was tired just a moment ago.

I dipped my head to Sharpclaw in acknowledgement, my chest warming with pleasure that I got to patrol with Wolfshade. As the deputy continued to give out duties, I slipped away from the crowd with Owlpaw and Wolfshade in tow. I turned to Wolfshade, my tail flicking playfully.

“Now’s your chance to get me that thrush,” I teased.

Owlpaw tilted her head to the side.

“Why does he need to get you a thrush?” she asked me before Wolfshade could respond.

“He owes me,” I meowed simply, swishing my tail.

“Just for helping me groom a tangle out of my pelt,” Wolfshade grumbled. “Your mentor is tyrannical.”

Owlpaw purred, her eyes lighting up.

“Oh, I know! Do you know how early this morning Lightningfire woke me up?!” Owlpaw squeaked to him, her fur prickling. “It was before dawn!”

Wolfshade shook is head in mock disgust.

“Truly despicable,” he said.

“Hey, I’m right here!” I huffed in offense, but I was purring as I waved my tail in greeting to Creamclaw and Whisperheart as they padded over join us.

“Who’s despicable?” Creamclaw asked, her gaze bright and curious.

“Lightningfire,” Wolfshade rumbled, his tail twitching.

“Lightningfire?” Whisperheart echoed, her gaze widening in surprise. “What? No she isn’t.”

“Finally, one cat who has some sense,” I said with a grateful nod.

“We’re just teasing,” Owlpaw clarified to Whisperheart.

Wolfshade shrugged.

“Speak for yourself,” he said, straight-faced.

“Remind me why I hang out with you again?” I quipped as I brushed by him on my way out of camp.

The rest of them followed me, and we headed off into the forest. Owlpaw ran a little ways ahead of the rest of the group, eagerly dashing from here to there, sniffing the air for prey scent the whole while. Her scenting abilities had greatly improved since her first day out of camp, now that she was more used to all the smells of the forest.

After we had walked for a little while, Wolfshade fell into step at my side.

"How's the training with Owlpaw going?" he asked.

“Oh? I thought my mentoring was too ‘tyrannical’ to even be dignified with discussion,” I teased, my tail flicking.

Wolfshade’s gaze glinted, and he nodded towards Owlpaw.

“That hardly looks like a cat who’s spirit has been broken,” he said drily. “If anything, it seems like you could be a little more stern with her, since she may scare off any nearby prey by rustling all that undergrowth she’s poking her head into.”

“I’ve realized that it’s better for her to burn off some of her excess energy now, before we get into the actual hunt,” I said.

"Does she ever sit still?" Wolfshade asked, his gaze tracking Owlpaw as she ran from one bush to peer under another.

I shook my head.

"Not unless she’s sleeping. But, I'll let you know if she ever does because that'll really be something," I purred.

Wolfshade responded with a soft purr of his own. We fell into companionable silence for a few moments, a soft breeze blowing through the branches of the trees above us as our patrol padded through the woods. I glanced over at him, and I was struck by how handsome he looked with the wind stirring his whiskers and the sunlight turning the edges of his fur silver. Even the four prominent scars on his face didn't give me pause anymore. In fact, I was starting to like how rugged they made him seem.

"I'm glad we get to hunt together today," I said quietly. "I like hunting with you."

Wolfshade glanced over at me, and his gaze softened slightly.

“Yeah. Me too," Wolfshade said.

"Lightningfire! I smell mouse!" Owlpaw yowled from several fox-lengths ahead.

I broke eye contact with Wolfshade, turning to look at Owlpaw.

"Then be quieter so you don't scare it away, and go get it," I said.

Owlpaw eagerly turned and slipped into the undergrowth. I looked back at Wolfshade.

"I better go supervise," I said, flicking my ears towards the undergrowth that Owlpaw disappeared into.

Wolfshade nodded.

"Good luck, mentor," he said, amusement in his tone.

I was brushing through some bracken when Owlpaw suddenly reappeared, a mouse already in her jaws.

I blinked, impressed.

"Wow! Great job," I purred, my chest warming with pride.

Her yellow eyes glowed with pleasure.

"Thank you!" she said, sticking her tail straight up.

I gave the air a few careful sniffs, but couldn't detect any more prey scent nearby.

“Bury that for us to pick up on the way back, and let’s continue further into the woods," I meowed.

Our patrol ended up wandering towards the southern border, where there was a lot more prey-scent on the breeze. I signaled for the patrol to disperse, and I went off with Owlpaw to hunt.

She had taken to the task very naturally. I watched her as she caught a sparrow by herself, and later I killed a squirrel she herded straight into my claws. Then her nose twitched as she caught the scent of finch.

I let her go after this one alone, my gaze tracking her through the undergrowth as she crept up on it. She had prudently moved down-wind and was moving in to close the last few fox-lengths of distance.

I realized the problem right before it happened. Her gaze was locked on the bird, and she wasn’t paying any attention to where she was putting her paws.

A loud crack echoed through the trees as she broke a branch beneath her foot. The bird’s head jerked up, and it took to the air, letting out a loud alarm call. Owlpaw sprung, but she was too far away and it was too late.

Owlpaw landed back on the ground with a frustrated hiss, and the finch escaped into the sky.

"You're a very talented hunter," I said, padding up to her. "Your crouch is near flawless, but you need to pay more attention to the things around you."

"I can't believe I stepped on a stupid twig," she muttered, her ears flat as she pouted. "I would’ve caught it if I hadn't."

I nudged her side with my muzzle.

"I know this is your first miss while hunting, but it's alright. No cat has a perfect record,” I meowed.

My ears pricked at the sound of cats pushing through the undergrowth. Creamclaw, Whisperheart, and Wolfshade reappeared, having heard the loud alarm call from the bird.

"We should move on," I meowed to Owlpaw. "The prey around here will be gone or hiding after hearing the finch's alarm call."

Owlpaw nodded, getting to her paws.

"I'm going to catch the next prey we find," she promised, her jaw setting determinedly.

"Good," I said with a purr.

I gestured with my tail, and the patrol set back off. Owlpaw perked back up again rather quickly as we walked through the trees. She wasn't the type of cat to stay down for long.

I lifted my muzzle to the breeze, enjoying the brush of my pelt against soft, green ferns and the warm touch of the sun on my back.

My nose twitched, and I came to a stop.

I raised my head, inhaling deeper, a strange scent rushing into my nose. The furs on my back stiffened.

"There's unfamiliar cat scent here," I said in a quiet voice, so my words would only reach my clan-mate’s ears. “It’s faint, but fresh.”

Wolfshade's ears pricked, and he turned to look at me intently. Whisperheart raised her nose to scent the air as well.

"I can't smell anything," she rasped, her brow furrowed.

"I can't either, but I believe Lightningfire. She's a great tracker," Wolfshade said in a quiet voice.

Distracted from the scent for a brief moment, my fur flushed with warmth at his compliment. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Creamclaw roll her eyes.

"You two are disgusting," she said jokingly. "Come on, Wolfshade. Everyone in the Clan knows that, you moonstruck mouse-brain.”

Wolfshade’s ears flattened with embarrassment, an uncomfortable expression creeping over his face as he glanced down at the ground. As much as I wanted to relish in Creamclaw’s teasing of him and overanalyze his reaction (Had he looked away from me because Creamclaw was right, and he had started having feelings for me again? Or, had he looked at the ground because Creamclaw was so off the mark about his feelings, but he didn’t know what to say to her or me about it?) I knew now wasn’t the time.

“Shh,” I murmured. “The cat may still be nearby.”

"Which way is the scent coming from, Lightningfire?" Owlpaw demanded.

She planted herself in front of me, looking up with sparkling yellow eyes and bristling fluffy white and ginger fur. She didn’t at all seem frightened by the thought of running into a stranger— quite the opposite in fact, she appeared positively delighted by this new adventure. Her paws fidgeted as she vibrated with excitement and energy.

I glanced down at Owlpaw. I opened my mouth to tell her to speak quieter and remind her that the cat may not be friendly, but before I could say anything, she whirled around and dashed off into the forest. My stomach lurched.

"Owlpaw!" I called. “Wait!”

She ignored my order.

“Is it this way?" she yowled over her shoulder, barreling away through the trees and towards our border.

I leapt forward after her.

"No, Owlpaw! Come back!" I shouted, a rush of panic surging through me as another whiff of the unfamiliar cat scent drifted to me on the breeze.

Wolfshade, Creamclaw and Whisperheart were right on my tail, and we ran after my disobedient apprentice.

"I smell it now!" Whisperheart gasped from my side, her eyes going wide with fear.

A squeal echoed from the forest ahead, and my heart jumped up to my throat.

 _"Owlpaw!"_ I yowled, shooting through the undergrowth.

As I burst through a patch of bracken, I was greeted by the sight of Owlpaw crouching on the ground, her pelt bristling with fear. A massive light brown and white tabby tom stood over her, glowering down at her, one paw drawn back, ready to strike.

Only one thought pounded in my mind— Owlpaw was in danger.

I leapt without hesitation.

The tom’s orange eyes flickered up to mine, and they went wide with surprise as I barreled straight into him. My body slammed against his and the ground as we tumbled head-over-tail. I clawed at his sides, nipping at his neck. His chest rumbled against mine with a deep, angry growl. I yowled in pain as his huge paws dug into my shoulders, clawing out fur and scraping my flesh.

His weight shifted as he twisted to regain his balance. I understood what the cat was trying to do. He was huge, and judging by the corded muscles rippling under his short pelt, stronger than me. If he got his paws back under him, he could easily pin me.

I jerked back suddenly, wiggling out of his grasp like an snake. I dodged back from him to stand in front of Owlpaw, who still cowered on the ground, seemingly frozen in fear.

As the cat sprung back to his paws, I arched my back, fluffed out all my fur and let out the most vicious hiss possible.

 _"Get out of our territory!"_ I spat, digging my claws into the ground.

The light brown and white tabby sized me up, lifting his chin. He barely seemed winded by our scuffle.

"You call that a fight?" he sneered, his orange eyes gleaming. "I know kits that can do better."

The rogue’s gaze flickered over me, and I stiffened, not liking the way his eyes lingered over my body.

"You are only a she-cat though. And, such a pretty little thing too. I'd hate to hurt you," he said, curling his lip up to bare his teeth at me.

My muscles tightened as white-hot anger seared through my veins.

"Say that again, and I'll claw your tongue out," I growled.

Wolfshade, Creamclaw, and Whisperheart flanked me; the four of us making a wall in front of vulnerable Owlpaw.

I glared at the tabby. He didn’t seem like good news, whoever he was. At first, I thought that he just had an oddly ruffled pelt, but then I realized that the thin furrows in his fur were because of old scars. Almost every part of his pelt from his head to his tail were covered with them. Both of his ears had nicks in them, and he had three small scars trailing down one of his cheeks, under his right eye. None of his scars were as large or dramatic as the ones carved by the badger’s claws on Wolfshade’s face. No. It was clear that all of the rogue’s scars had been inflicted by other cats.

"Leave our territory. _Now,"_ I repeated, my voice a low growl.

The tabby arched a brow at me, very unimpressed by my order.

"Or what? You'll make me as ugly as him?" he said with a nod towards Wolfshade.

Wolfshade glowered at him, silent and impassive as if his words had no effect on him. But, they did on me. The anger flowing in my bloodstream boiled to something closer to fury. I snarled, taking a threatening step towards the tom.

“If you value keeping all your limbs intact, you should run,” I spat at him. “It’s four against one.”

He smirked.

“Good. It should almost be a fair fight for you all then,” he said.

Keeping the cat in my peripheral vision, my gaze flickered over my clan-mates. Their jaws were set, claws unsheathed, ready to attack. The tabby rogue sensed it coming. He crouched down, a sparkle in his orange eyes, almost as if he was enjoying this.

“Come and get me, beautiful,” he sneered.

Wolfshade, Whisperheart, Creamclaw, and I moved as one, surging forward like a river. The rogue, to his credit, did not flinch in the face of our onslaught. Instead, he rocked back on his haunches, freeing both of his paws to swipe at us. I ducked, rolling under his blow. As I spun around him, I was able to make out enough of his expression to see his look of surprise at my speed.

In that moment of distraction, Wolfshade landed a hard blow on the rogue’s other side, a solid hit to the ribs. The rogue snarled, turned to face him, and the two big cats rose up on their hind paws. Wolfshade was a large cat, but the rogue was still a little bit bigger than him. They clashed together, grappling for dominance, long hooked claws slashing. I sprung toward the rogue's back,hoping to knock him off his paws, but he saw me coming and disengaged with Wolfshade so he could turn to slash at me before I could leap onto him.

I dodged back to avoid his claws with a frustrated hiss, but Whisperheart came at him from his other side, landing a couple of scratches on his shoulder while he was over-extended. He snapped at her, but she had already sprung back out of range. Creamclaw darted in from his other side then, but the rogue was more prepared this time. He lunged, sinking his fangs deeply into her front leg.Creamclaw hissed in pain, and I sprung forward with a snarl. Bright red blood beaded on his muzzle as I raked my claws across it repeatedly, only stopping when he dropped her. I offered Creamclaw my shoulder for support as she limped back, blood dripping from her leg. As the rogue shook blood from his vision, Wolfshade gave him a powerful cuff on the head that sent him reeling. Meanwhile, Whisperheart slashed at his flanks, her lips curled back in a fearsome snarl.

Bombarded on all sides, the rogue whipped his head back and forth, trying to keep all four of us in his field of vision. He took a step back.

A vicious jolt of satisfaction thrummed in my chest.

_That's right. Turn tail and run._

I saw the rogue's gaze flicker around me, and his eyes narrow.

He lunged, but not towards me or Wolfshade or Whisperheart or Creamclaw. Instead he sprung around all of us.

_Owlpaw!_

"No!" I yowled, leaping at the rogue.

Owlpaw tried to leap away from him, but the rogue flashed out a huge paw, hooking his claws into one of her hind-legs. He pulled his leg back to drag her closer to him, but before he could get the rest of his claws in her, I recklessly tackled him for the second time. Thankfully, Owlpaw quickly freed herself as the rogue and I went rolling. We were a tumbling ball of slashing claws and flashing fangs. Pain stabbed up and down my body as the rogue raked his claws over me. I gritted my teeth against it, focusing instead on the feeling of clawing his fur out. He gripped my shoulders in his paws again, and this time, I let him catch me. The rogue righted himself with surprising speed, pinning me with my back to the ground. But, before he could even savor his victory, I had drawn my hind-legs up against my stomach, my claws unsheathed, then sent them kicking as powerfully as I could up against his belly.

As my claws sliced through flesh, the tabby jerked, letting out a harsh cough as I drove his breath out of him, and his eyes went wide. He didn’t have time to recover before Wolfshade knocked him off me with a hard swat. The rogue stumbled aside, giving a hiss and a feeble defense when Whisperheart dashed over to land a few more vicious slashes on his ears. Wincing at my new wounds, I rolled back to my paws. As Whisperheart beat at him relentlessly, the rogue took another stumbling step backwards, leaving a trail of blood in front of him, and I realized my claws must have done severe damage to his underside.

"Do you yield?" I snarled, limping over to him.

I was panting, short of breath, and my chest ached— my old rib wounds flaring up again. I also had plenty of new wounds. The rogue had decorated my back and shoulders with burning slashes, but despite it all, I held my head high as I went to stand next to Whisperheart. She looked like she wouldn’t mind clawing him up a bit more, but I touched my tail-tip to her shoulder to signal for her to hold back.

 _"Never,"_ the tabby wheezed, before collapsing to his haunches and pressing a paw to the wounds on his white belly, trying to stem the flow of blood.

Despite his protests, it seemed clear that the rogue was no longer a threat. I stalked up to him, standing only a tail-length away.

"Who are you?" I demanded.

"The name's Ripper," the tabby growled, baring crimson covered fangs at me.

"Where do you come from? What do you want?" I spat.

Ripper was silent, glaring at me murderously, so I made a show of slowly sheathing my claws in front of him to demonstrate that I thought he was much too weak to attack me again. Ripper's eyes flashed as he noticed the movement, the gesture not escaping him.

"So many questions. It's typically polite to introduce yourself now that you know my name," Ripper finally spoke, his voice taunting.

Wolfshade gave a wordless hiss, prowling over to me so he could loom over Ripper’s collapsed form.

 _"She said:_ what are you doing here?" Wolfshade repeated in a low, dangerous tone.

"He speaks!" Ripper sneered, his face twisting into a ugly snarl as he turned to look at Wolfshade. "I was beginning to think that those scars damaged your brain as much as your face."

Anger pounding through me, I unsheathed my claws again, thinking that a quick slash of them across the eyes might help teach the rogue some manners.

"Relax, beautiful.” Ripper gave a strangled purr. "Did picking on your pet cripple upset you?"

I curled my lip up, actually drawing my paw back to strike now. But, Wolfshade touched his muzzle to my shoulder to stop me. His expression was emotionless, but I could understand the thoughts flickering in his eyes. They warned me to not let the rogue get under my skin.

I reluctantly lowered my paw again, but I couldn’t let Ripper get away without any response.

I turned my gaze back on him and loudly tsked my tongue like I was dealing with a naughty kit.

 _“Someone’s_ lashing out. What’s the matter, Ripper? Not used to being beaten by a she-cat?" I sneered down at him in the most condescending voice I could manage.

Ripper snarled back at me in reply before wincing and pressing his paw harder to his bleeding stomach. He was starting to look woozy, so I turned to our patrol to figure out what our next move should be.

"What do we do with him?" I asked Wolfshade.

"He'll likely die if we leave him here," Wolfshade said. “If he doesn’t bleed out, infection will get him. Or a fox.”

"Good. The buzzards can pick his bones clean,” Whisperheart cut in suddenly, baring her teeth.

I blinked, a bit surprised at Whisperheart’s violent agreement.

“But, the code says warriors don’t have to kill to win their battles," Wolfshade added, although he also seemed tempted by the idea of leaving Ripper to rot.

“But, does it really count if we just let nature take it’s course?” Creamclaw broke in, limping over. “I mean, we aren’t killing him ourselves.”

Whisperheart nodded. I frowned, my tail twitching.

I had no desire to save Ripper’s life, but I couldn’t help but feeling wary about the idea of leaving Ripper here. Firstly, we had gotten next to no information out of him besides his name. What if our Clan was in immediate danger— could he be a member of a larger group of hostile rogues lurking nearby, ready to snatch up our territory? Or, even not, what if we leave him here, and he somehow survives, and then comes back with a burning vengeance against us?

“I say we take him back as our prisoner," I said, giving a soft growl. "He's dangerous, so I don’t think we should just leave him here alone. What if he does survive, and later he comes back to get his revenge?”

“That’s a good point,” Creamclaw meowed.

Wolfshade murmured in agreement. Although Whisperheart didn't look exactly pleased, she didn't protest either.

Wolfshade strode over to Ripper.

"Get up," he growled to him, prodding his shoulder with a paw.

Ripper winced at the touch and started struggling to pull his feet under him. As Wolfshade took care of that, with Whisperheart watching on in case Ripper tried anything, I turned to Creamclaw.

"How's your leg?" I asked.

"I'm fine," she said.

I swept my gaze over her skeptically. She held her injured paw off of the ground, not putting any weight on leg, and the wound was still oozing blood. Creamclaw let out an impatient sigh.

"Don't worry, Lightningfire, I'll make it back to camp on three legs," she said. “It hurts, but clearly I’m not bleeding out.”

I gave a nod and turned to find Owlpaw. She had put a good several fox-lengths of distance between herself and Ripper. Her eyes were wide and her pelt was still prickling with fear as she gazed at the rogue. As I strode over to her, a storm of emotions swirled in my chest— relief that she wasn’t badly injured, fury that she had put herself in such a dangerous situation in the first place, and terror as I imagined what could’ve happened to her if our patrol hadn’t arrived when we did.

My rumpled apprentice didn’t even look at me as I walked to her side. It was like she couldn’t make her gaze move away from Ripper.

"Are you okay?" I murmured.

Owlpaw’s eyes finally flickered to me then, and she gave a timid nod.

"My leg hurts, but not too bad," she said, extending the hind-leg Ripper had clawed for me to see. “I can still use it.”

Silently, I bent my head to give her wound a closer examination. Blood clumped in her long fur, but as I cleared it away with a few swipes of my tongue, I saw that she was right, and the scratches were shallow.

Now that I’d confirmed that she was okay, my relief that she was alive began to fade as my anger towards her grew. As I lifted my head, Owlpaw seemed to sense it because her ears flattened and her chin bobbed down.

“Lightningfire, I’m really sorry…” she muttered.

“Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t have you hauling moss and picking ticks everyday for the next several moons,” I growled, the fur down my back bristling.

Owlpaw’s eyes widened in protest.

“What?” she gasped. “You’d do that?! But, I—“

"Running off like that was a really mouse-brained thing to do!" I snapped, my eyes flashing. "Not only did you put yourself in danger, but you put the rest of your patrol in danger too by charging into an unknown situation and forcing us to chase after you!”

I gestured towards Ripper with a jab of my tail.

"You just saw what he can do; how he can fight. And, you're young and inexperienced and have _no_ battle training! He could’ve _killed_ you, if we were two heartbeats too slow getting to you!”

“I know. I’m sorry," Owlpaw said, scuffling her paws and staring down at the ground.

But, my anger hadn’t burnt itself out yet. I began to pace, my fur prickling.

"Imagine if I had to tell your mother that you died, or Sharpclaw, or your brothers,” I growled. “They’d be so heartbroken."

"I didn't mean it. I wasn't thinking," Owlpaw said, still not looking up at me.

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes.

"Yeah. That's the problem. Try doing a bit more thinking next time," I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm.

Owlpaw continued to stare down at the ground. I glanced at her, and her downtrodden expression finally pierced through my shell of anger, making me suddenly feel guilty for what I said. I stopped pacing, inhaling in a few deep breaths to calm myself down. Then I padded back over to her and gently touched my tail-tip to her shoulder.

“I’m sorry,” I murmured. “That was mean of me to say. I shouldn’t’ve gotten so upset. I just— I was just _really_ worried about you! I don’t know what I would’ve done if you got badly hurt. I’m so glad that you’re safe.”

I whisked my tail away from her shoulder so I could nose her there with my muzzle instead. I was relieved that she didn't pull away from my touch, instead she turned her head to bury her face in my neck fur. I pressed my cheek against her a bit harder, and I felt her trembling.

I mentally kicked myself for being so angry with her when the whole fight had clearly been so scary for her.

“You’re a smart cat, and I love how much energy and enthusiasm you have for everything,” I said into her downy-soft pelt. “But, you need to _listen_ to me a little bit more, okay? I know one day you’ll be a brilliant warrior who will be an absolute terror on the battlefield. And, when that day comes, you can jump into situations headfirst, claws out, as much as you want because I know you’ll be able to defeat any opponent you come across. But, until then it’s my job to teach you and keep you safe. Understand?”

She nodded, and I pulled my head back from her.

"I promise I'll do better next time, Lightningfire," Owlpaw said, finally looking up at me with her big yellow eyes.

"I know you will," I said, giving her a brisk lick on her head.

I turned back towards the rogue and the rest of our patrol. Wolfshade and Whisperheart had managed to get Ripper to his paws, and now they flanked him, watching him carefully. But, Ripper didn't seem like he was going to put up anymore of a fight. His eyes were half-lidded, and he looked a bit unsteady on his feet.

"Let's get back to camp," I said, raising my tail and taking the lead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm excited that we have finally reached Ripper's introduction! He's a stinky boy, but he's fun for me to write.  
> By the way, I just completely rewrote/updated the prologue, so now it's written from first person point-of-view like the rest of the story! I had to get a little creative, since I was writing from a newborn's perspective, but I think I like the way it turned out. Check it out if you're interested!  
> Thank you all for reading and especially to those who have left comments and kudos!


	43. Prisoner

Our procession padded through the trees in silence. I considered sending Owlpaw to run and pick up the prey that we caught, but then I decided against splitting the patrol up, fearing that there may be more rogues like Ripper lurking around in the forest.

My tail-twitched uneasily at that thought. I sniffed the air, my gaze narrowed with suspicion as I searched for unfamiliar cat scents. But, nothing seemed out of place.

"Lightningfire," Whisperheart said softly.

I turned my head towards her voice, and she slipped up to my side. Realizing that this meant Wolfshade had been left alone with Ripper, I quickly twisted my head back to check on them. I relaxed as I saw Wolfshade was managing Ripper just fine without Whisperheart. The rogue's orange eyes were dull and blood still dripped from his white belly fur. He looked like he could barely keep himself upright on his paws, let alone attack anyone or try to run away.

I turned back to Whisperheart,

"What is it, Whisperheart?" I asked.

My fur crawled uncomfortably as she stared at me, her amber eyes wide with fear.

 _"I know him,”_ Whisperheart rasped, her voice so hushed I could barely understand her.

My stomach dropped down to my paws.

 _“What?!"_ I hissed, lowering my voice so no one else in the patrol could overhear.

Whisperheart’s throat bobbed as she swallowed hard.

"He's from the same big two-leg place that Iceshiver, Tatteredtail, and I are," she muttered.

A rush of hot anger and fear seared through my pelt.

_Whisperheart promised that there was no way these cats would ever find SkyClan! But, there's one right here! And, he attacked us!_

"Does _he_ know you?" I hissed.

She shook her head.

"No. He didn't seem to recognize me," Whisperheart whispered. "It's not too surprising either. He's a lieutenant, a very high ranking cat. He wouldn't have even bothered to look my way unless I did something wrong or the Queen wanted something from me. And, I doubt he'll know Tatteredtail or Iceshiver, or that they'll know him. Tatteredtail and Iceshiver were very low ranking, living on the fringes. The only reason why I recognize Ripper at all is because I lived in the Park when I was kit since my mother was a high-rank."

I stared out into the forest ahead of us, my muscles taunt as we continued to walk.

"So, Ripper's very dangerous then? Because he's a lieutenant?" I asked.

Whisperheart nodded, her eyes round with fear. I flattened my ears.

"I'm sorry, Lightningfire," Whisperheart rasped, seeing my upset look. "I didn't think that it was possible that any cat from that place would travel so far upstream."

"What do we do?" I asked, my voice barely above a breath. "Do you think he's alone? What could he possibly want from us?"

"I don't know," Whisperheart replied, her tail flicking uneasily. "While I lived in the Kingdom, the Queen was comfortable with her territory. I don't know why she would send out a scout to travel so far from the two-leg place. Maybe he is traveling alone. It’s possible that he could’ve even defected as well, although not likely I think. We used to live off scraps as low-ranks, but lieutenants feast. They have authority, power, and all the food that they want.”

I nodded slowly, my brow furrowed.

_Can we get any information out of Ripper?_

"Do we tell Leafstar that we know where he's from?" I asked quietly.

Whisperheart was silent, her ears flattening against her head. She didn’t respond, but I could see her fear shining in her eyes.

I bit the inside of my cheek as I gazed at her.

_Confessing the truth about Whisperheart's, Tatteredtail's, and Iceshiver's birth-place could be really bad for them. And, me. Leafstar would be furious at us for keeping a secret from her that could put our Clan in danger…It could even end in their exile. That is assuming that Iceshiver and Tatteredtail don’t flee our territory immediately once they realize a lieutenant made it here._

I swallowed.

_Could I do that to to three of them? In order to protect my clan-mates?_

I looked at Whisperheart out of the corner of my eye. The dark red she-cat stared back at me with a sad gaze.

 _But, Whisperheart, Tatteredtail, and Iceshiver… they_ are _my clan-mates too. Which means I also have a duty to protect them._

My tail flicked.

"I don't think there's a point in saying anything now," I whispered. “But, I don’t know if we can keep it from her for much longer. If we find out from Ripper that they are planning to invade our territory, then of course she needs to know.”

Whisperheart nodded.

“Of course," she muttered. “And, thank you Lightningfire… for everything.”

I nodded.

As we drew closer to camp, I noticed Ripper's pace slowed even more. His tail dragged through the dirt as he limped along, but his orange gaze was still calculating. It flickered from side-to-side, taking in the unfamiliar territory around him.

We were drawing close to the edge of the forest and reaching the gorge when my ears pricked as the bushes rustled ahead.

"I smell blood," Patchfoot meowed, shoving through the bracken with a border patrol consisting of Macgyver, Nettlesplash, Minttail, and Briarspot at his back.

Patchfoot's gaze swept over my patrol's scratched pelts and bloodied fur before his gaze came to a rest on Ripper.

"What happened?" Nettlesplash asked, his fur prickling as he gazed at Ripper.

"We captured this rogue, and we're taking him to camp," I said, flicking my tail at Ripper.

He half-heartedly bared his fangs in response.

Patchfoot gazed at our patrol, his brow furrowed. He opened his mouth for an instant, like he was going to challenge the wisdom of bringing Ripper into camp. But, then he seemed to decide against it, instead closing his mouth and turning back in the direction of the gorge.

"We'll help you escort him back to camp," Patchfoot meowed over his shoulder.

I shook my head.

“No, I don’t think that’s a good idea,” I said.

Patchfoot's eyes narrowed as he looked back at me. My pelt prickled under the senior warrior’s gaze, but I pushed my discomfort about challenging the older warrior aside as I continued.

"We don't need help. He is in no state to fight," I meowed, flicking my tail at Ripper again. "But, he may not have been alone. I think you all should go on the border patrol like you were planning and stay alert. Keep an eye out especially around the southern border. That’s where we found him.”

Briarspot nodded.

“That’s a good point,” she said.

I sent a grateful glance at my friend, pleased at her support. Patchfoot finally gave a curt nod.

"Very well," he said.

He raised his tail, and his patrol followed him as he bounded away into the trees. I sighed, feeling tension that I didn't even know was there drain out of my shoulders as the possible confrontation with Patchfoot passed.

"You just like to tell everyone what to do, don't you beautiful?" Ripper meowed from behind me, making me glance back at him.

"Shut up," Creamclaw hissed at the rogue, her grey eyes flashing like a stormy sky.

I turned back towards the gorge, ignoring him and leading our patrol forward again.

"Don't worry," Ripper continued to meow from behind me. "I like bossy she-cats— _ow!"_

I looked over my shoulder to see Ripper wincing in pain, and Wolfshade snarling and still holding his paw up like he was thinking about cuffing him again.

I had no qualms about hitting Ripper. In fact, I couldn’t stop a part of myself from feeling pleased that Wolfshade had done it to defend me.

But, I also thought that beating Ripper until he was incoherent wasn’t totally productive to our goals. We needed information out of him. And, in a much more practical sense, it’d be very inconvenient if we had to drag or carry him the rest of the way to camp.

Wolfshade glanced at me at me, his gaze questioning if I wanted him to cuff him again.

"I think he learned his lesson. He’s already injured enough," I said.

"Clear not enough if he still has the energy to talk about you like that," Wolfshade rumbled his deep voice.

He snarled down at the crouching rogue, but he lowered his paw. Ripper hissed at him in response, but he didn't say anything else as we continued walking again, clearly deciding getting hit again wasn’t worth it.

The trees fell away as we padded through the sandy gorge, making our way into camp. As we approached, we attracted a crowd immediately as our clan-mates noticed our bloody coats and the unfamiliar cat. I strode up to Petalnose, the nearest cat to us.

"We captured a rogue who was intruding on our territory," I said to her. “Where's Leafstar?"

"Up in the nursery," Petalnose meowed, her eyes wide as she swept her gaze over at all the marks on our pelts. "Oh StarClan! Are you all alright?"

"No serious injuries, thank StarClan," I meowed, while brushing my tail over Owlpaw’s side to get her attention.

“Please go fetch Leafstar," I meowed to her.

She gave a nod, then whirled away, dashing towards the dens in the cliff. I noticed Ripper looking around camp with wide eyes, taking in everything from the pile of fresh-kill to the tall cliff face that was studded with caves and dens.

"Creamclaw," I said, turning to the fluffy grey-and-cream she-cat. "You should go see Echosong first. You have the worst injury out of the rest of us."

Creamclaw nodded and started to limp away, towards the medicine cat's den.

"Creamclaw!" Nightstorm yowled, dashing over to her from across the camp as he caught sight of her.

He pressed himself to her side.

"What happened? Are you alright?" he meowed, his eyes wide.

Creamclaw nodded, leaning against his shoulder for balance while she kept her hurt leg tucked tightly against her chest.

"Yeah," Creamclaw meowed. "We were attacked by that rogue while on patrol."

Creamclaw nodded towards Ripper, and Nightstorm turned to look at him, his green eyes narrowing with rage.

"You mangy flea-pelt," Nightstorm spat, unsheathing his long hooked claws and striding over to the rogue. "I'll tear your insides out and feed them to the crows."

Ripper curled his lip back, raising his chin defiantly as Nightstorm crouched down, preparing to spring at him.

“Nightstorm, calm down," I said firmly, stepping in front of my brother. "You don't need to attack him. Look at him. He’s already barely staying on his feet."

Nightstorm blinked and seemed to notice Ripper's blood soaked belly for the first time.

"Good," Nightstorm growled, the bristling fur on his back flattening, but he still glared at Ripper from over my shoulder. “Serves you right, you fox-heart. I hope all your innards leak out.”

"You're going to let that she-cat stop you so easily?" Ripper jeered. "Come on. Face me like a tom!"

Nightstorm's green eyes flared, but I whirled on Ripper before he could reply, my muscles taunt with anger.

"You better put a mouse in it before this _she-cat_ decides to rip your throat out to go along with your stomach," I spat, unsheathing my claws.

Ripper gave a rough purr, making me blink in surprise.

"You've got fire in you, I'll give you that," Ripper said.

I stared at the rogue in bewilderment. He was so unsteady on his paws from blood loss that it looked like the gentlest breeze could knock him over, yet here he was, still acting like he had the whole world at his paws.

"I'm serious," I said, hissing aggressively to cover my confusion. "Say one more thing, and I'll tear out your tongue, then I'll let Nightstorm claw you up too. Just for fun.”

Nightstorm rumbled a low, appreciative growl from behind me. Ripper opened his mouth like he was going to say something else anyway, but before he could, Owlpaw was back with Leafstar, Brackenstorm, and Sharpclaw.

"This is the rogue?" Leafstar asked, padding over to my patrol.

She gazed at Ripper with cold blue eyes, her head and tail held high. Ripper straightened and met her gaze evenly.

"Yes," I meowed, turning to her. "His name is Ripper. He attacked our patrol."

"Owlpaw told me everything that happened," Leafstar said with a sharp nod.

"He's very dangerous, so I didn't just want to leave him at the border," I meowed, my gaze narrowing. “I’m certain he would have killed Owlpaw if we had not gotten there in time."

"Owlpaw doesn't look too injured," Brackenstorm pointed out mildly. "Do we know that for sure?"

"Nah, I would have killed her," Ripper cut in with a hiss, his orange eyes flashing.

Sharpclaw gave a deep, menacing growl, his claws unsheathing and his muscles rippling under his short pelt. Ripper looked unfazed by Sharpclaw’s aggressive posturing. I was beginning to wonder if the rogue’s blood loss was effecting his brain, since his decision-making skills here didn’t seem particularly sharp.

"It's good that you brought him here, Lightningfire," Leafstar said, her gaze flickering to mine for a moment. “We wouldn’t want to leave such a dangerous cat to his own devices.”

I nodded, feeling a prickle of relief that I’d made the right choice.

"What do we do with him then?" Sharpclaw asked.

Our clan-mates, driven by curiosity, had started to gather around and were watching our exchanges with wide eyes. Leafstar turned, bounding up Rockpile.

"Let all cats old enough to catch their own prey, gather under Rockpile for a Clan meeting!" Leafstar meowed.

Almost everyone was already in camp, but a few more cats appeared from the dens and came running over. I looked around the camp. Everyone was here besides Patchfoot's patrol, and Sagewhisker and Ripplepaw, who I assume must be out training. Ripper was escorted forward by Brackenstorm and Sharpclaw to the base of Rockpile. They flanked the rogue, guarding him, but when Ripper collapsed rather than sat onto the sandy ground, it seemed like to me that he needed very little guarding.

"This cat's name is Ripper, and he was captured today after attacking a hunting patrol," Leafstar meowed.

A murmur rose up around me as cats whispered and speculated about the skirmish. I glanced over at Wolfshade who was sitting a little ways away from me, and I saw Egg was leaning over to him, clearly asking about the fight.

Echosong had been cleaning and bandaging Creamclaw's leg, but once she was done with that, she grabbed some herbs and cobwebs and strode over to Ripper. Ripper glared at her, but Echosong told him something that managed to convince him to let her take a look at his wounds. She put some herbs on and quickly bandaged them up. Leafstar bounded down from Rockpile once Echosong finished, a hush settled back over my clan-mates.

"Why were you in SkyClan territory?" Leafstar asked Ripper.

Ripper's gaze flickered around the Clan, seeming unbothered by the amount of eyes on him.

"Were you stealing prey?" Leafstar prompted, and Ripper's gaze flickered back to her.

"I was just passing through," Ripper growled.

"If you were just passing through why did you attack our patrol, unprovoked?" Leafstar asked.

Ripper shrugged.

"They told me to leave, and I didn't want to," Ripper said. "I only do what I want to do."

Leafstar narrowed her eyes at him.

"Would you have killed my clan-mates if you could have?" she asked.

"If I feel like it, I'll kill anything that gets in my way," Ripper said with a low growl.

My stomach flipped at the unfeeling coldness in his voice.

_This cat is a monster._

My clan-mates began to murmur again, a bit louder this time. I saw pelts bristling and claws unsheathing. Leafstar stared at Ripper, her eyes icy. She turned to look at the Clan.

"Ripper will be kept here as our prisoner under constant guard until his wounds have healed some. At that time, I will reevaluate what we should do with him," she said.

Leafstar nodded, indicating that the meeting was over. Cats dispersed or grouped together, still whispering about Ripper. I got to my paws and padded over to Leafstar.

"He will be kept in that small cave over there at the base of the cliff," Leafstar was saying to Sharpclaw, nodding at the cliff to indicate a small crack in the face, a bit of the ways away from the other dens, but not too far.

"I can take the first guard duty if you want," I meowed.

I wanted to see if I could get any more information out of Ripper. Maybe in his injured state, he’d be less careful with his words. Could I get Echosong to give him a herb that’d make him even more uninhibited?

I frowned to myself, weighing the ethics of that for a moment. Before I had come to a conclusion, Leafstar glanced over at me.

"Thank you, Lightningfire," she said.

Her gaze swept over me, her eyes darkening with concern as she took in my cuts.

"Are you sure though? I can have someone else do it if you need Echosong to take a look at your wounds first," she said.

“It’s alright," I said. “They don’t hurt too much. Echosong can treat the others in my patrol first. But, I promise I’ll go right to her after my shift so they don’t get infected.”

Leafstar nodded.

"Alright then," she said. "I'm proud of you Lightningfire. You did a good job today."

I dipped my head, my pelt warming.

"Thank you, Mom," I said.

I padded away, heading towards Ripper. I stood over the scarred light brown and white rogue. He was still lying on the ground at the base of Rockpile, his orange eyes dull with exhaustion. I stared down at him, flattening my ears. Despite his earlier bravado, the tom almost looked pathetic now.

"Why are we keeping him prisoner?" Nightstorm said, pulling me out of my thoughts as he walked over and snarled down at Ripper.

I glanced over at him, my brow furrowing.

"Because our mother said so," I said, resisting the urge to roll my eyes. "And, she's Clan leader."

"You know that's not what I meant," Nightstorm said with a soft growl.

"What would you prefer to do?" I pointed out. "Exile him?"

"No!" Nightstorm meowed, his eyes widening. "He's dangerous! He could come back that way!”

My tail twitched.

"Then what other choice do we have?" I asked.

I didn’t like having Ripper here either, but it seemed like the best option.

Nightstorm was silent, a broody look on his face. I could tell how conflicted he was. Ripper injured Creamclaw, and Nightstorm cared deeply for her. And, now here Ripper was, being kept in camp among us, along with all of Nightstorm's other friends and family. Of course he’d prefer if Ripper was gone.

"You could kill me," Ripper meowed from below us.

I jolted in surprise, looking down at him. Honestly, I thought he had become unconscious at this point. But, no— Ripper was blinking clear orange eyes up at me. The rogue seemed oddly calm for just having suggested his own death.

Nightstorm and I were both silent for a few heartbeats.

"…That's not our way," Nightstorm said finally, his voice a deep rumble.

Then with a twitch of his tail, Nightstorm whirled around and stalked off. I turned to Ripper.

“Can you stand?” I asked him.

He just grunted in response, but he forced his paws under him and rose onto unsteady legs.

"Follow me," I said. "I'll take you to your den. You will stay there until Leafstar decides what else to do with you.”

I padded towards the cliffs, and he followed me with stiff steps, wincing as his wounds stretched. As I led him across camp, my clan-mates parted around him as if he was diseased, and we walked to the small cave at the base of the cliff. It had a very narrow entrance, and inside it opened up into a small cavern that had just enough room to maybe fit four cats, if they packed in tightly. The cave was much too small to function as a den for our Clan, but it would make a good prison to keep Ripper. I noted that the narrow entrance would also make it difficult for him to get out easily.

I nodded at the cave. Ripper shot me a look, but he obeyed, padding inside. He had to squeeze through the small entrance, his broad shoulders scraping the walls on either side. Once he was inside, he turned around, blinking his orange eyes at me from the shadows.

"Your mother is your leader?" Ripper asked.

I narrowed my eyes at him, surprised by the sudden question.

"Yeah. So what?" I meowed suspiciously.

"Nothing… Princess," Ripper said with a harsh purr, slowly settling down onto the floor of the cave.

 _"Princess?"_ I echoed in confusion, wrinkling my face at him.

Ripper let out a huge, exaggerated sigh, annoyance flashing over his face.

"You stupid forest cats don't know anything, do you?" Ripper said.

I went back on the offensive.

"Hey, watch it, or I'll claw the rest of your belly out," I growled.

"Whatever you say, Princess," Ripper said, curling his lip up at me, so his fangs gleamed in the dim light of the cave.

My tail-tip twitched as he said the unfamiliar word again.

_I just wish I knew if he was insulting me._

I made a mental note to ask Whisperheart about the word later.

"You do realize that my name is Lightningfire, right?" I said.

Ripper shrugged.

“I think I'll stick with Princess," he said.

I growled softly, prompting Ripper to curl his lip back at me again.

"Or, do you prefer _beautiful?_ " he meowed in a sickly sweet voice.

I flattened my ears, glaring at him, but after a few moments, I decided it would be better to ignore him than reply. He obviously enjoyed the interaction, so I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of ruffling my fur.

As I stared at him in silence, Ripper blinked his wide eyes at me. They were a vibrant orange color, so bright it was almost harsh.

As I continued to watch him, I started considering how to best get information out of him. But, before I could come up with my list of questions, Ripper started to drift off to sleep. His eyes fluttered, eyelids drooping and obscuring the orange for a moment. Then they snapped back open quickly, and I was greeted by the full force of his bright gaze again like I was standing in the light of a scorching sun. But, only a few moments later, his eyelids were falling back down as his exhaustion gripped him tighter. Ripper lowered his broad head to rest his chin on his paws and in a moment, he was asleep.

I stared at the sleeping tom, my muscles tightening as dread swept through me.

His eyes reminded me of another pair of bright, orange eyes that I’d seen in the past. They had the same cold, calculating, reptilian look.

_Ripper isn't a cat. He's a snake._

_And, who knows when he'll strike._


	44. Conversations and Threats

I watched Owlpaw approvingly as she swiped fresh moss off of a log. It’d been about a quarter moon since we captured Ripper, so Owlpaw was still on tick and moss duty for disobeying my orders.

_But, I think today will be the last day of that._

She had been really diligent about the extra chores and hadn’t complained once, even though I knew her claws must be aching from all the swipes collecting moss requires.

I helped her pick up some of the moss now, both of us carrying large bundles through the woods and back to camp. It was unusual to have such a silent walk with Owlpaw, but even she couldn’t talk through such a massive ball of moss in her jaws.

As we padded through the trees, I found my mind drifting from Owlpaw to Ripper. Our new _guest’s_ wounds were healing, and he was the talk of the camp. I couldn’t even count the number of speculating conversations that I’d heard about him, as my clan-mates theorized about his heavily scarred pelt, where he was from, and what he wanted. The braver of my clan-mates tried asking him while they were assigned to guard duty, but I was pretty sure that Ripper gave every single one of them a different answer to every question.

One day, I’d overheard him tell Nettlesplash that he got all scarred up when he killed a dog in a fight. But, later that same evening, he’d told Briarspot that it was a battle against twenty rats. The next day it was that he’d escaped from a two-leg inside a moving monster and got all banged up when he hit the thunder-path.

There was no getting real information about the intentions of the cats downstream at the two-leg place out of him either. He was very tight-lipped about that fact, never mentioning the ‘city,’ as Whisperheart called it, even in passing as a joke.

It was clear to me that talking to Ripper was pointless if you wanted to get any sort of real answer. But, there was no way to _avoid_ talking to him. If a cat was unfortunate enough to be assigned as his guard, he’d talk to you, or more accurately in some cases, _at_ you, non-stop whether you responded or not.

And, he _definitely_ didn’t mind using vicious insults to provoke an answer. Although, to be fair, I did think that any cat who sat within his sight-line got insulted either way at some point, whether they’d entertained him with conversation or not. Sharpclaw had already had to break up a few fights when some of my clan-mates lost their cool and started slashing at him.

I shook my head, pulling myself out of my thoughts as we entered back into the camp. I dropped the bundle of moss I was carrying on the ground.

"Once you take these up to the elders and make them new nests, you should go have some fresh-kill and rest for a bit," I said. “Today will be the last day of your punishment. We’ll resume regular training later.”

Owlpaw’s eyes lit up, and she nodded at me vigorously. I purred affectionately.

"Lightningfire," Sharpclaw said in his deep meow, padding over to me. "Go relieve Shrewtooth on prisoner guard duty. And, bring the prisoner some fresh-kill.”

I dipped my head to the deputy.

"Yes, Sharpclaw," I meowed respectfully, before I lifted my head back up, my whiskers twitching in bitter amusement. “Talking to Ripper will be a joy.”

Sharpclaw’s gaze darkened.

“I know,” he meowed. “That cat is a special kind of infuriating.”

Owlpaw gazed at the two of us curiously. Ripper was too dangerous to allow apprentices to act as his guards, but I imagined Owlpaw was dying to know what sort of nonsense Ripper had been saying, especially given the fact that she’d surely heard several his crazy stories from second-hand gossip. But, Sharpclaw bent his head to nose Owlpaw off.

"You better get that moss up to the elders before you tip over from its weight," Sharpclaw said to Owlpaw in a softer voice.

Owlpaw gazed up at her father with sparkling yellow eyes, giving a purr and bouncing away. Sharpclaw stared after her as she left.

"She's not giving you any more trouble is she?" Sharpclaw asked, before I could walk over to Ripper’s den.

"Nothing I can't handle," I assured. “She’s been an especially good listener these past few sunrises, putting extra effort into even the most menial of tasks.”

Sharpclaw nodded, relaxing slightly.

“Good,” he said.

I left Sharpclaw with a tail wave, first heading over to the fresh-kill pile to grab a mouse for Ripper, then walking over to where Shrewtooth was sitting outside of the small crack in the cliff.

"I'm here to take over guard duty," I said to him around the mouse in my jaws.

"Good," the black tom said with a growl, eagerly getting to his paws. "He's all yours."

"Aw come on, I thought we were becoming friends!" I heard Ripper call from inside the small den.

Shrewtooth's thin tail lashed as he stalked away.

I padded over to the entrance of the cave, sticking my head in the crack.

"Princess!" Ripper said, his orange eyes gleaming with delight in the dim light. "I'm so glad it's you, I was getting tired of looking at the skinny back of that mangy fur-ball."

I dropped the mouse, ignoring him.

"This is for you," I said.

I backed away, settling down in a crouch to face the cave, so I could watch him. Ripper rose to his paws stiffly, his wounds obviously still bothering him, and he stepped forward, eagerly snatching up the mouse. He began to devour it, hunched over the prey. I watched him in silence, grateful for the fact that he at least didn’t speak while he was eating.

Ripper slowed his chewing as he polished of the final bit of the prey. Then, he looked up at me suddenly.

"Why are you all so kind to me?" Ripper demanded.

I blinked at him in surprise.

"Um, no offense," I said. "But what are you talking about? You're our prisoner. And, also I’m pretty sure everyone here hates you. You’ve got your sunny disposition to thank for that.”

Ripper curled his lip up in a half-sneer at my jab, but his gaze was still serious as he stared at me.

"But, you're feeding me," Ripper meowed, jabbing at what remained of the mouse with his paw. "You haven't hurt me since you brought me here. You're _talking_ to me.”

“Haven’t hurt you..?” I echoed, my brow furrowing. “Didn’t Nightstorm just claw you up a bit yesterday?”

A sudden grin split Ripper’s face.

“Yeah, but to be fair, I was asking for it,” Ripper admitted. “I said something to him that I shall not repeat because I don’t want you pouncing at me too.”

I let out a huff of laughter despite myself, but I tried to cover it by rolling my eyes.

“To address your other points though,” I meowed, continuing swiftly in hopes that Ripper wouldn’t notice my brief flash of amusement. “I only talk to you because you'd jabber on like a mockingbird regardless of whether I respond or not. But, besides, I don't think feeding you and keeping you alive really qualify as 'kind.'"

Now it was Ripper's turn to huff in incredulous amusement.

"If you think that, then you definitely don't want to see my 'mean,'" Ripper said, shooting me a dangerous look out of slightly narrowed eyes.

My pelt began to bristle as I remembered how brutal and ruthless he actually was. For a few moments, I hadn’t been thinking about it because for at least one instant he had seemed… almost normal.

 _I can’t let him get my guard down._ I scolded myself.

"I think I could take it," I growled back. "I'm the one that left _you_ bleeding out, remember?"

"And, let _me_ remind you that you had me out-numbered five to one, Princess," Ripper argued, snarling slightly.

“Oh boo-hoo,” I mocked. “Didn’t you say something about that nearly making it a fair fight for us?”

He glared at me.

"If my friends were here, we would have eaten you for breakfast,” Ripper growled, his pelt bristling threateningly.

I stiffened at the mention of his “friends.”

I got to my paws and padded closer to him, driven forward by bubbling anger in my chest.

_Friends?! Friends! These are disgusting monsters who rip apart vocal cords of kittens for fun. They hardly deserve to be called ‘cats,’ and yet he calls them his ‘friends?!’_

"Don't think you can fool me," I hissed to him a low voice. "You may not have said anything to my clan-mates, but _I_ know where you're from. And, I know what sort of cats you and your 'friends' are."

"What are you talking about?" Ripper said, narrowing his eyes at me.

I dropped my voice even quieter.

"You're from downstream, about a day's journey from here. There's a big two-leg place. A city. With a Park and lots of cats. Lawless, disgusting rogue cats, just like you," I spat viciously.

Ripper flattened his ears, his orange eyes flashing with surprise and another emotion I couldn’t place.

"How do you know all that?" Ripper hissed, his expression deadly serious.

It was quite different than his normal light-hearted, mocking one. I realized that I had managed to finally get under his skin, after he had spent so many sunrises getting under mine and my clan-mates. My lips quirked up in a smirk.

 _How does it feel to have_ **_your_ ** _pelt ruffled, Ripper?_

I reclined back onto my haunches, savoring the power that I held over him.

“You talk in your sleep,” I sneered.

Ripper scowled, his tail lashing.

“No I don’t,” he rumbled.

“Do you know that for sure?” I asked.

“Tell me the truth,” he growled around clenched fangs.

"Why would I?" I snapped. “It doesn’t feel good to be lied to, does it? Maybe if you tell me the truth to the things I want to know, I’ll tell you.”

Ripper glared at me with smoldering eyes, strangely silent.

"Do your clan-mates know? Are you going to tell them?" he asked after a few heartbeats.

I arched a brow as if I was considering it.

In reality, I had no intention of telling my clan-mates. It would only get me, Whisperheart, Tatteredtail, and Iceshiver into trouble. And, there was no way SkyClan would ever travel into that two-leg place, and so we would never be any sort of threat to the cats that lived there… But, _Ripper_ didn't have to know that.

"I don't see any reason to…" I said, glancing down at my paws to flex my claws briefly.

I looked back up at Ripper.

"… As long as you're a good little prisoner," I hissed.

Ripper narrowed his eyes at me.

"Are you _threatening_ me, Princess?" Ripper asked with a quiet growl.

I bared my fangs at him.

“It’s not a threat," I said, staring into his fiery orange eyes. “It’s a promise.”

"Ha," Ripper said, making a noise in his throat that was halfway between and hiss and a purr. “…You’re quite something, aren't you, beautiful?"

I didn't say anything in reply to that. Instead I just continued to glare at him, flexing my claws into the sandy ground. Ripper studied me in response with his sharp gaze.

"It seems like we've come to an impasse then," he said. ”So, what is it that you want from me in exchange for your silence?"

"Information," I meowed curtly.

Ripper angled an ear towards me, a wary look on his face.

"Why are you here?" I asked, leaning forward to stare intently at him. “And, don’t spin me some sort of fox-dung tale about how you chased a shiny blue butterfly upstream.”

“I’m here because you tore my belly out and took me prisoner, as you _so_ often love to remind me," Ripper jeered, curling his lip up.

"You know that's not what I meant," I snapped, digging my claws into the ground. "Why were you in SkyClan territory in the first place?"

"I didn't know it was SkyClan territory," Ripper spat, the fur down his back bristling.

I blinked in surprise, leaning back from him slightly.

"Wait… you didn't?" I asked.

"Of course not," Ripper snorted derisively. "You're all a bunch of weirdos! Talking about codes and cats in the stars all the time. If I did know, I would have stayed as far away from you crackpots as I could. ”

Oddly enough, I believed him.

"Then _why are you here?"_ I demanded, lashing my tail.

Ripper narrowed his eyes at me, and for a moment I thought he wasn’t going to answer me. But, then he began to speak, slowly and reluctantly.

"… About a year or so ago four cats vanished from the ranks of our group," Ripper said.

I blinked.

_Four cats._

My blood ran cold as a mental image of Whisperheart, Crash, Tatteredtail, and Iceshiver came into my mind.

"They were nobodies, so low ranking that I didn't even know their faces," Ripper said, curling his lip up in disgust. “But, on the night of the new moon, when it was time for them to bring their tax of fresh-kill to the Queen, they didn't show up. So, the Queen sent a patrol of lieutenants to search the city for them to collect the tax. When they weren't found, we figured that they had just died, and their bodies had been taken by two-legs or dogs. But, they didn't die— they left. One came back about six moons after they first disappeared to try to get more cats to leave with him. News traveled to the lieutenants about him being back, so I tracked him down and killed him a ways upstream for abandoning the Kingdom."

My eyes widened slightly, and I felt sick as I remembered that mangled black-and-white body my patrol and I found in the river, a bit south of our territory.

_Oh StarClan… Crash… Ripper killed him?!_

"But, still word got around about how these four cats left successfully," Ripper snarled, bitterness in his voice. "And, more and more members of our group have been disappearing as the moons have passed, following their example. We were losing cats so fast our society was falling apart, until we really started to crack down on the traitors. I'm here because my Queen sent me to search for defectors, hunt them down and bring them to justice. Unfortunately, that quest led my path to cross yours.”

I dug my unsheathed claws so deeply into the ground, they began to ache.

So, this was it. Finally, the true story about why Ripper was here had come out. There was no doubt in my mind that it was the truth. Everything he said lined up too well with what I knew about Whisperheart and the other former rogues for it to be a lie.

"Don't you think there must be something wrong with your _'society'_ if cats are so eager to leave it?" I asked with a snarl.

Ripper shrugged.

"Our lives are hard, but that's the way it's supposed to be," Ripper said. "The strong rise and survive."

"What about the others? The 'nobodies?'" I demanded, all of my fur fluffing out at his dismissive tone. "Aren't they cats too? Don't they deserve the same treatment that is lavished on the Queen, and you, her precious lieutenants? Can you blame them for wanting to escape such misery?"

Ripper leapt to his paws suddenly, and I jumped up too, startled by the sudden movement. I raised a paw to defend myself, but he made no move to attack.

"They are _weak_ ," Ripper spat, glaring at me with orange eyes that smoldered like embers. "She is the Queen, and we are her lieutenants _because we are strong._ If they had our strength, they could be us and take the so-called 'lavish' treatment that you claim we have. But, they can't, so they don't."

"But, that's not fair," I said, lashing my tail with a growl.

 _"Life's not fair, Princess,"_ Ripper said, sneering down his muzzle at me. "Do you think the mice think it's fair when we eat them? But, we do because we have to, or we die. Them or _us.”_

I flattened my ears.

"What's fair and what's right and what's wrong doesn't matter," Ripper continued in his deep voice, lashing his tail. "All that matters is surviving."

"There's more to life than surviving," I argued back with a growl.

"Then _enlighten_ me." Ripper sneered, cocking his head to the side and leaning back on his haunches. "What else is there?”

I huffed, waving my paw in the air vaguely as if to indicate everything around me.

"Family. Friends. A warm green-leaf breeze. A good run. A beautiful sunset," I said.

I paused for a moment, an image of Wolfshade's face flashing into my mind.

"…Happiness," I said.

Riper groaned so loudly, I was sure cats outside of camp could hear him.

“Listen to yourself! _‘Happiness?’”_ Ripper repeated with an incredulous snort, eyeing me out of narrowed eyes.

He gazed at me for a long moment before giving his head a slow shake.

"You are so naive, Princess," Ripper meowed. “Do you know anything about the real world?”

"What?" I snapped, my fur bristling defensively again as anger rushed through me at his condescending tone. “Do you think I’ve never experienced suffering? Do you think we just sit around all day in pools of sunshine and wait for food to appear and jump straight into our mouths? I’ve watched cats I care about die. I’ve known terrible pain. But, I’ve also known joy and contentment. Are you telling me that you've never been happy? That nothing makes you happy?"

"What makes me happy is being strong," Ripper said with a menacing growl, flexing his claws. "And, taking what I want."

"If that's all that makes you happy, then I pity your sad existence," I spat.

Ripper just sneered at me as I glared at him, my tail lashing.

As the silence stretched on for a few moments, some of my anger dimmed, allowing my thoughts to clear. I realized that I’d gotten all the important information I needed from Ripper. I didn’t have to indulge him with this stupid conversation any longer.

With some difficulty, I forced my claws to sheathe, then I turned away from him, fed up with having to look at him.

"Speaking of happiness, what's the deal with you and Scarface? I've seen how you look at him," Ripper said as soon as I dared turn my attention away from him.

It was obvious bait to provoke me, but knowing that didn’t stop it from working. A surge of hot anger scorched through me at the rude nickname for Wolfshade.

"If anyone should be called Scarface, it's you," I spat, whirling back towards Ripper. "You've got more scars than I've ever seen on any cat."

"But, mine are trophies," Ripper said, puffing out his chest. "A collection that shows how many fights I've been in and survived. They're reminders. I don't leave a fight until making sure I've gotten a new scar."

Ripper reared back, exposing his white underbelly and the new wounds that I left on his stomach. They were very obvious— still a fresh red color, plastered with herbs and cobwebs, and they peeked out clearly through his white belly-fur. I flattened my ears at Ripper as he dropped back down onto all four paws. His orange eyes gleamed as he looked at me.

"See? Now I'll never forget you, Princess," Ripper said with a deep, rumbling purr.

I clenched my jaw.

_I wonder if that’s the truth about his scars, or just another one of his lies._

"That's the most mouse-brained thing I've ever heard," I spat.

Ripper shrugged.

"Whatever. You didn't answer my question though," he said in an insisting voice.

I rolled my eyes.

 _"Wolfshade_ is my friend," I said.

"Uh-huh," Ripper said, an entirely unimpressed expression on his face.

"He is!" I protested, the fur on my shoulders rising with irritation.

Ripper pricked one ear towards me.

"I don't even know why I'm talking to you about this," I growled. “I know you're just trying to get a rise out of me."

"You're not telling me the whole story," Ripper said. "I can tell."

"Put a mouse in it, Ripper," I growled, turning and sitting so my back was firmly to him.

"Aw don't be like that," Ripper whined from behind me.

I didn't turn around, determined not to give him the satisfaction of acknowledgment, no matter what he said. I just silently stared out into camp as if I was a cat carved out of stone.

"Are you and Wolf-face or whatever mates? Did you have a falling out?" he asked.

Ripper paused, waiting for an answer that didn't come. I heard some shuffling from behind me like he had begun pacing around in the small cave.

“Come on tell me!" he complained. "Sitting in this cave all day is so tedious. I need some gossip or I’ll die from boredom.”

_Good._

_I hope your death is as painful as possible._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been churning through these lately, but I think updates will slow down a bit since I'm going to have to more heavily rework the next few chapters. Anyway, thanks for reading and especially to those who have left comments and kudos :)


	45. Changing Winds

Ripper had spent some time bouncing insults off of my back, trying to get a reaction, but as the afternoon wore on, I was pretty sure he grew tired and fell asleep since he quieted down and then stayed that way.

Owlpaw had found me after her sun-high break, but I wasn’t able to take her out because of guard duty. Thankfully, Wolfshade had volunteered to do some battle training with her, and Owlpaw enthusiastically agreed. I’d watched them leave camp a bit enviously. Training with them sounded a lot more fun than guarding Ripper for the rest of the day.

The day trickled past, and the sun was setting by the time my shift was over. My ears pricked as Sparrowpelt came padding over to me.

“I’ll take over as his guard now," he meowed.

I rose to my paws gratefully, stretching the stiffness from my muscles.

“Thank you,” I said with a yawn, blinking hard a few times.

"You look tired," Sparrowpelt commented, tilting his head at me.

"He grates on you," I said, twitching my ears back to indicate Ripper.

"What are you talking about… You should be honored. I’m more charming than any other cat here," Ripper muttered sleepily from his nest inside his cave.

I turned to cast him a final glare, and he cracked one orange eye open to stare unblinkingly at me.

"Well you can get some rest now," Sparrowpelt meowed.

I nodded in thanks, starting to walk away.

"Goodnight, Princess! See you later!" I heard Ripper faintly call from behind me.

I rolled my eyes, giving an exasperated sigh. As I headed for the cliff-side trail to head up to the dens, I stiffened as I saw Whisperheart on her way there too. She must have just gotten back from a patrol and was going to her nest to sleep.

I swallowed hard.

_I need to talk to her about what Ripper told me._

“Whisperheart!” I called, trotting over to her.

Her ears pricked, and she turned to me, greeting me with a rasping purr.

“I need to speak with you. Privately,” I murmured in a low voice. “I found out why Ripper is here.”

Whisperheart’s ears twisted back and her eyes went wide, the purr dying in her throat. I led her to secluded corner across camp, so we were out of earshot of any of our clan-mates.

“I got Ripper to tell me a few things,” I whispered to her after glancing around to verify that we were truly alone. “I learned that he never meant to end up in SkyClan territory. More cats have been leaving the city, and Ripper is here because he was searching for the defectors. I think to make examples of them to discourage more cats from leaving.”

Fear flashed in Whisperheart’s eyes, and she stiffened.

“Is he looking for me and Iceshiver and Tatteredtail?” she rasped.

My tail twitched.

“I’m not sure,” I said. “I think you three and Crash were actually the ones who started this movement. He told me that the first cats left the city about a year ago, which would’ve been around the time you all left. Ripper said that he didn’t know who those cats are, but he might have been given descriptions about your pelt colors and names. It’s a good thing that you all took warrior names. I mean, your original names are still included in them, but it won’t match up perfectly at least… Since Ripper doesn’t know any of you personally, I think that should be enough to allow you all to blend in with the rest of the Clan.”

Whisperheart nodded, but her eyes were still wide. Another sudden thought flashed into my mind, and I stiffened.

“But, you have a very distinctive voice, Whisperheart. If Ripper is looking for you, that likely would’ve been something that he was told about,” I said urgently, my paws prickling. “You haven’t spent a lot of time around him have you? Like have you had to guard him yet? Oh fox-dung, he might have heard you speak back when we first captured him!”

“I haven’t had to guard him yet,” Whisperheart reassured, swiping her tail over my flank to calm me. “I still think he didn’t recognize me back on that day, but that is a good point. I’ll have to be careful when I’m near him.”

I nodded, relaxing somewhat.

“Maybe you shouldn’t guard him at all,” I said. “Just to be safe. If you get assigned to him, come find me, and I can take your shift for you.”

“You’re a good friend. Thank you,” Whisperheart said, blinking at me affectionately.

A soft purr rumbled in my throat, but only for a moment before my thoughts turned to the last piece of key information that Ripper told me— what happened to Crash.

I hesitated for a moment, biting my lip.

_Do I tell Whisperheart? If I did, what would happen? Would she try to do something to Ripper?_

I put those thoughts out of my mind for a moment.

“I was wondering if you’ve said anything to Iceshiver or Tatteredtail about all this?” I murmured.“Are they suspicious of Ripper?”

Whisperheart’s tail flicked.

“They’re suspicious of all new cats,” she meowed. “But, they don’t know Ripper is from the city. They don’t recognize him at all.”

She glanced down at her paws for a moment.

“And, I haven’t told them about him,” she admitted. “Maybe I should, but I just… I’m worried about their reaction. For the first time in their lives, they are happy with where they live. They like being here. I don’t want to frighten them or make them feel like they need to leave, especially if the Ripper thing turns out to be nothing… I mean, you said that he never meant to be in SkyClan territory, right? And, if he never recognizes any of us, maybe Leafstar could just exile him, and he’d never come back…”

I nodded, struggling with the decision if I tell Whisperheart about Crash, as much as she was clearly struggling with her decision about telling Iceshiver and Tatteredtail about Ripper.

I ended up debating myself in my head.

_Knowing Ripper killed Crash won't change anything. Crash will still be dead. But, Whisperheart would want justice for him. Would she attack Ripper, to avenge him? She might. She was so vindictive when we captured Ripper, and she didn’t even know that he murdered Crash then._

_It’s true that Ripper_ **_deserves_ ** _to be punished for what he did, and Whisperheart and Crash deserve justice…_

_But, if she did attack Ripper, our clan-mates would know. Then they would find out about everything, and this whole mess of about the city cats would come out. Whisperheart could get into a lot of trouble…_

“I also don’t want to leave here,” Whisperheart rasped softly, pulling me out of my thoughts. “But, if Tatteredtail and Iceshiver wanted to go… I can’t stand the idea of being apart from them. So, it feels easier not to tell them… is that selfish of me?”

“No! By not telling them, you’re just trying to do what’s best for everyone,” I said quickly, but I wasn’t sure if I was trying harder to convince her or myself.

Whisperheart sighed, her eyes still downcast. I brushed my pelt against her side to reassure her, and she leaned into my touch, tucking her head against my chest.

I rested my chin on the top of the shorter she-cat’s head, and I realized that I had made up my mind— I couldn’t tell her about Ripper killing Crash. It wasn’t to protect Ripper, of course not. But, I had to protect Whisperheart.

“There is one other thing that Ripper told me,” I murmured to her, pressing myself a bit closer to her supportively. “I think the day Crash disappeared, he went back to the city. Ripper said that a few moons ago one of the first defectors returned, trying to get more cats to leave with him. But, once some lieutenants heard about it, those cats found the defector, Crash, and… executed him.”

I could feel Whisperheart stiffen next to me. She was silent for a long few moments.

“I knew it,” was all she rasped finally. “Of course they did.”

“I’m so sorry,” I said.

Whisperheart was silent for several more heartbeats.

“…Crash went back to the city? Why?” she muttered.

“Were there other cats there that he wanted to get out?” I asked.

“No… he always was adamant about how the three of us were the only cats he cared about,” Whisperheart mumbled. “It was partly why he felt like he didn’t fit in with SkyClan.”

My brow furrowed.

“Didn’t you guys get into some sort of argument about that the day he left?” I asked.

“Yeah,” Whisperheart said. “He wanted to leave SkyClan and have the four of us be on our own again. But, I liked being in the Clan and wanted to stay.”

My tail flicked thoughtfully.

“Maybe he thought you’d be more likely to leave if he could get more cats from the city to come with you? So you all could be your own little clan?” I wondered out loud.

“It’s possible…” Whisperheart muttered. “But, I guess we’ll never know for sure why he did it now.”

I gently pulled away from her.

“Are you alright?” I asked, gazing down at her with round eyes.

She sighed.

“I will be,” she muttered. “I just wish that we’d left that part of our lives in the past… and it didn’t follow us upstream.”

She shook her head. “Although it’s too late for thinking like that. Not with him in that cave.”

She flicked her tail towards Ripper’s den.

“Hopefully Ripper will be out of our fur soon,” I said.

Whisperheart nodded.

“Well, if you’re sure you’re alright…” I meowed. “I need to go speak with Owlpaw now. See how her training today went while I was stuck watching Ripper.”

“I am. Goodnight, Lightningfire,” she said, managing to give a friendly blink.

“Goodnight,” I purred.

We split apart from each other, her heading up to the warriors’ den as I padded up the trail to the apprentices’. As I walked into the cave, I noticed Owlpaw was the only apprentice in the den. Her familiar ruffled white-and-ginger pelt was curled up in her nest, but she lifted her head as I padded inside.

"Lightningfire!" she purred.

"Hello, Owlpaw," I said, giving a quiet purr in response as I sat down next to her nest. "How did your battle training go today?”

“Oh! I was so much fun,” Owlpaw said, her eyes lighting up. “Wolfshade said since I’m small, I need to be quick and nimble while fighting. He taught me a lot of cool moves that I can use against bigger opponents! There’s this one where you leap onto an opponent’s back. When I tried it out, Wolfshade said he's never seen a cat jump so high!"

Owlpaw puffed her chest out with pride, and I purred louder, my heart warming.

"That's great!” I said. “I can’t wait to see what you learned when we practice next time.”

Owlpaw’s tail flicked playfully.

“You’ll have to watch out,” she warned. “I know a lot of tricks now.”

The purr rumbling in my chest turned into a playful growl.

“There’s still no way you can beat me!” I said, swiping at her ears with a gentle swat.

Squeaking, Owlpaw ducked my cuff, then rolled over in her nest to kick out with her hind-legs, barraging my side with a series of light kicks.

“Ow. Ow!” I said, at first just teasing, but then actually wincing as she hit a few of the remaining bruises from my fight with Ripper. I scooted out of her range. “Okay, I surrender! Stars, what’s Wolfshade been teaching you? He trains you for one day, and you already come out this vicious.”

Owlpaw purred at my teasing.

“I’m _so_ excited for when we get to train together,” she said, flopping dramatically down on her side. “Can we do battle training tomorrow?! You were so amazing when you fought Ripper! And, Wolfshade says you’re a brilliant fighter!”

I blinked.

“Wolfshade talked about me?” I asked, trying to keep the question casual sounding.

Unfortunately for me, Owlpaw was much too clever for that, and her eyes flashed as she picked up on my thinly disguised interest.

“Maybe…” she said, her gaze sparkling. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

“You… you little imp!” I growled playfully, lightly flicking my tail across her muzzle. “Tell me!”

She just purred louder and drew away from me.

“If you want to know so bad, why don’t you ask him yourself?” she challenged.

My ears warmed slightly, and I felt myself drifting away from teasing and growing serious.

“Well… I don’t know how he feels about me… but he already knows how I feel about him, and I don’t want to push it by bothering him about it,” I murmured.

Owlpaw’s brow furrowed.

“What do you mean?” she asked.

I sighed, my shoulders sagging slightly. But, it was only natural that Owlpaw was curious. She would not have much context on the details of my relationship with Wolfshade; she’d been too young at the time.

“Do you remember the terrible badger attack that Wolfshade and I were in a couple moons ago?” I asked.

“Of course,” Owlpaw responded, her eyes growing as large and round as her name-sake. “Bouncefire was killed.”

I nodded.

“Yeah. And, Wolfshade badly injured,” I said.

“That’s how he got the scars,” Owlpaw chimed in.

“Right,” I meowed, my stomach filling with a familiar, heavy weight of grief as I remembered the attack. “But it was more than that… Things that you probably didn’t hear about or completely understand since you were only a kit at the time… The head injury he received affected his memory. He lost about four seasons of memories. When he woke up after the badger attack, one of latest thing he could remember was Lionclaw’s, Briarspot’s, and Ravenfur’s _apprentice_ ceremony.”

Owlpaw blinked hard a few times as she processed this.

“But… that was so long ago… Lionclaw and Briarspot and Ravenfur are older than you, right?” she asked.

I nodded, biting the inside of my cheek as my body tensed.

I knew talking about it would be hard, but I didn’t expect how painful explaining it was. It forced me to re-live the entire situation… when I mostly just wanted to forget about it.

“Yes. So, when Wolfshade woke up, he had hardly any memory of me. He just knew me as Leafstar’s kit,” I said.

Owlpaw stared at me in silence for a moment, putting the pieces together.

“But… before he lost his memory?” she prompted.

I looked away from her, staring down at my paws.

“We were together. And… I loved him,” I mumbled. “But, he doesn’t remember any of that now.”

The fur on my side suddenly stirred as Owlpaw scooted over to nestle up beside me.

“Oh, Lightningfire, I’m so sorry!” she gasped, pressing her muzzle to my shoulder.

“It’s okay,” I said a bit half-heartedly. I glanced over to look at her again. “It’s been over a moon now since he… you know. I’m starting to get over it. And, at least I get to be his friend again.”

Owlpaw gazed at me doubtfully, blinking hard a few times.

“But, how do you that he doesn’t like you back?” she insisted. “I mean, if it happened once…”

I shuffled my paws, sighing.

“I just don’t want to push too hard. It’s like I said earlier: he _knows_ how I feel. I’ve told him. So, I mean, it’s up to him now, right?” I said.

Her brow furrowed skeptically.

“So, you’re just going to avoid him and wait until he makes the first move?” she asked.

My fur prickled slightly.

“That’s not what I said,” I protested. “I’m not avoiding him. We’ve gone on patrols and stuff together.”

“But, only when you’re assigned to the same one,” Owlpaw pointed out. “How is he supposed to like you again if you don’t hang out with him?”

Unsure of how to respond, I gave my head a small shake. As Owlpaw waited for my answer, she yawned widely, suddenly looking sleepy.

_Maybe I shouldn’t even be talking about this with her. She should be focusing on her training, not analyzing my love-life._

I rose to my paws, deciding to put an end to this conversation.

“Get some rest,” I meowed. “We can do battling training tomorrow.”

"You should spend more time with him," Owlpaw declared. "Go talk with him tonight."

My whiskers twitched.

"I'm not taking relationship advice from my apprentice!” I teased, shooting her a stern glance.

She crawled back into her nest.

“Well you should because—“ She heaved another huge yawn, her eye-lids fluttering. “I’m _so_ smart.”

I shook my head in exasperation, but a soft purr rumbled in my chest.

“I’ll see you tomorrow. Goodnight,” I said, heading towards the den’s exit.

“Goodnight!” she meowed from behind me.

As I turned and padded up the trail to the warriors’ den, I came to the reluctant realization that maybe Owlpaw was right, at least a _little bit,_ about me avoiding Wolfshade. At least, she was right that I did only rarely speak or interact with him outside of patrols.

When we were on patrols together, I felt like I had a reason to talk to him, but outside of patrols, I couldn’t help but overthinking most interactions with him— I didn’t want to come across as desperate or obsessed with him, or make him uncomfortable in anyway… After all, I’d promised him that I wouldn’t try to force a relationship on him, and I meant it. But, I couldn’t shake my feelings, so it seemed easier to only be around him when I had an excuse for it.

 _But, is Owlpaw right, and it’s making me seem disinterested?_ _Am I sabotaging myself?_

_How would I act with him if he was only my friend? …I would be spending more time with him, wouldn’t I?_

I shook my head, trying to sort out my thoughts as I entered into the warriors’ den, blinking as my eyes adjusted to the shadows and hearing the soft murmur of my clan-mates talking to each other as they settled down to sleep. Almost immediately, my gaze was pulled towards Wolfshade. He was lying in his nest, his body relaxed, but his eyes open and bright like he wasn't actually feeling sleepy.

My conversation with Owlpaw played over in my head, and I made up my mind. I padded up to Wolfshade, my stomach churning.

 _Stop that._ I scolded myself. _You know Wolfshade. You aren't charging into battle, you're just going to talk to him._

“Hey,” I meowed.

He glanced up at me.

“Hey,” he responded neutrally.

I ducked my head slightly, my ears suddenly a bit warm.

“So… maybe this is dumb, but I was talking with Owlpaw and she made me realize that I haven’t… really… been spending much time with you. Outside of patrolling at least. But, it’s not that I don’t want to! It’s just I— uh— haven’t known how to. I guess.”

I gave my head a small shake, well aware that I was rambling, but helpless to stop it. Pelt burning even more, I looked away from him, pointing my muzzle towards the den’s exit.

“So, um— anyway, I've been cooped up in camp almost all day guarding Ripper. I thought I might go for a walk or something… Um— you wouldn't happen to want to join me, would you?” My gaze flicked back to his, and I tensed up, waiting for his response.

He blinked, his gaze and expression unreadable.

“Yeah,” he said, rising to his paws. “Sure”

Relief flooded through me, and I suddenly felt much more at ease in his presence.

“Oh… alright. Great!” I said, a purr starting to rumble in my voice.

We turned towards the cave’s exit.

“Oh, and by the way,” I meowed, glancing back over at him as we padded through the den. “Thank you for taking Owlpaw out today. She had a good time training with you.”

He shrugged.

"It was no problem," he murmured.

“But, you didn't have to do it," I pointed out. "So, it was very nice of you."

Wolfshade shrugged again like he didn't really know what to say.

"You were on guard duty. Didn't want her to have to stay in camp all day…" His voice trailed off.

I rolled my eyes.

"Just accept my gratitude, mouse-brain," I teased gently.

Wolfshade glanced at me. He gave a quiet purr, then looked back away.

"Alright. If you insist," he said.

As we exited the den, my pelt prickled as I suddenly felt eyes on me. I glanced back to see Minttail watching us, her green gaze flashing. As Wolfshade and I turned out the cave, I saw her lean over to Sagewhisker and whisper something in his ear.

I shook my head, but I was unable to put Minttail out of my mind as Wolfshade and I scaled down the cliff and into the camp.

“So… Minttail…” I meowed.

Just like Owlpaw had earlier, Wolfshade picked up on my blatant curiosity instantly. He shot me a sharp glance from out of the corner of his eyes.

“I never got the chance to ask you about how things are with her…” I continued.

_Because I’ve been too scared to ask you anything too personal, since I don’t want to frighten you off…_

“How did she take the news when you found out about your argument?”

I knew that I was dancing around my real questions. But, no matter how easily Wolfshade’s sharp gaze could see through me, I could still pretend like I had _some_ dignity left to cling to.

“She wasn’t pleased,” Wolfshade rumbled. “But, we’re still friends now, so I don’t think she has too much to complain about.”

I nodded. I wanted to dig deeper, ask him about if she still had romantic feelings for him, and more importantly, did _he_ have feelings for her… But, that seemed like I’d be pushing a step too far.

I twitched my ears, actually putting Minttail out of my mind now as we padded down the gorge and towards the forest. Then sun had made it completely below the horizon, and the trees had turned to a shadowy blend of deep blues and blacks. I lifted my muzzle to the breeze, opening my mouth to carefully breathe in the scents.

The forest had once felt like a place of pure joy and adventure to me. But, since the badger attack, and especially since Ripper’s appearance, I’d grown acutely aware of the danger that could lurk in the woods. Thankfully though, I detected no unusual scents in the air tonight, and some tension drained from my shoulders.

I turned to glance at Wolfshade, my tail twitching as I felt a sudden surge of playful energy.

“Want to race?” I asked.

Wolfshade’s eyes narrowed slightly as he picked up the challenge in my words.

“…Only if you want to lose,” he rumbled in his deep voice.

“No chance, slow-snail!” I growled, baring my teeth in something between a grin and a snarl.

I was in motion without warning, leaf-litter kicking up behind me. I tore through the forest, flashing between the dark trees like a swooping owl. My heart warmed with pleasure at the feeling of my legs stretching out to their full length, propelling my body onward.

I shot a glance over my shoulder to see Wolfshade running a few fox-lengths behind me, his long fur slicked back from his speed. I turned my gaze back forward and focused on moving my paws as quickly as I could.

But, the longer we ran, Wolfshade started to close the gap between us as my endurance flagged. He was only a few footfalls behind me as we ended up on the fields above the cliffs, where there was nothing but a sea of tall grass around us.

As we dived into the densely packed stalks, I used this as an opportunity to vanish. I crouched low in the deep shadows, taking a sharp, sudden turn before coming to a stop and shaking Wolfshade off my trail. From my hidden place in the grass, I could see him come to a slow stop several fox-lengths away from me. His head twisted from side to side as he gazed around the field, his ears flattening with confusion as he tried to find where I went.

My paws prickled mischievously, and I swallowed back the purr that threatened to rumble in my throat. I began to creep forward, my eyes locked on his broad, grey back. I paused for a heartbeat as I reached striking distance, my hindquarters wiggling before I pounced with a victorious snarl.

But, my victory was short-lived.

I blinked in shock as Wolfshade ducked, and I went sailing harmlessly over his head, hitting the ground hard.

An _“Eep!”_ escaped my mouth as my momentum propelled me forward, and I tumbled head over tail, coming to a stop a few tail-lengths away from Wolfshade.

I stumbled back to my paws, shaking my pelt off to try to dislodge both the dust and my embarrassment, but I still felt a bit sheepish as I turned back towards Wolfshade.

“How’d you know I was there?” I asked.

“Well you’re no ShadowClan warrior,” he responded drily, his whiskers twitching. “With the amount of noise you were making, it's a wonder that you’re able to catch any prey at all when you hunt.”

My eyes widened.

 _“Rude!”_ I huffed.

His eyes shimmered in amusement as I attacked him again, this time rearing back on my hind-legs and swiping at him with my forepaws. But, I quickly realized this was likely also a mistake when he mirrored me, his larger size and strength becoming extremely apparent as we clashed together, grappling at each other’s shoulders with our paws as we tried to unbalance the other.

Knowing there was no way I’d win against him in a contest of brute strength, I changed tactics. I shifted my weight lower to the ground before dropping my paws from his shoulders and twisting to the side, driving one of my shoulders into his chest. The hit was enough to knock him off of his feet and the both of us fell to the ground. I pinned him quickly.

“I win!” I crowed gleefully.

But, as the flash of victory faded, every hair in my pelt prickled as I realized that I had landed part-way on top of him. This was the closest we’d been physically since the badger attack.

My gaze flashed to his, and I froze. He was staring at me as if he’d had the same realization, and for a heartbeat our amber and green gazes mingled together before I looked away. My fur burning, I rose off of him, taking a step back.

Wolfshade rose to his paws, still silent, and I was unable to look at him as he shook out his ruffled pelt. My whole body felt like it was on fire. My ears flattened against my head as I stared down at the dirt beneath my paws. I wanted to curl up and sink into the ground in embarrassment.

 _Stupid. Stupid!_ I scolded myself. _Why did I take Owlpaw’s advice, and go out here with him tonight?! Now I’ve just made things all weird again. And, what if he thinks_ ** _I’m_** _weird now? Stupid!_

“Is something wrong?” Wolfshade asked, making me jerk in surprise as I was pulled out of my thoughts. “You didn’t get hurt, did you?”

My eyes slowly lifted from the ground and drifted back towards him. He was studying my tense form, his brow furrowed slightly.

“No… I’m okay,” I said. “Er… are _you_ okay?”

He blinked, his expression back to being unreadable.

“I think so,” he said simply.

I relaxed slightly. Maybe things weren’t quite as disastrous as I’d first feared.

Wolfshade padded over to me and took a seat at my side, close enough that our pelts brushed. I tensed again, my heart-rate picking up at the contact.

“You know, you weren’t actually that noisy while you were stalking me,” he said. “You were just upwind of me.”

I shook my head.

“Still a rookie mistake,” I muttered.

He purred softly, giving a half-shrug.

“No one’s perfect,” he said.

I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye. He was staring straight ahead, his gaze searching the horizon.

We were _so_ close together. It’d be so easy to lean into his side, brush my muzzle against his fur. But, fear kept me rooted in place. I was too scared to move any closer, but I was also not strong enough to pull away.

As I stared at him, I ended up tracing the scars on his face with my gaze when suddenly he glanced over at me. I froze like I had earlier when our gazes had met— as if I’d been caught doing something wrong.

He tilted his head to the side.

“What is it?” he asked.

I swallowed, my mouth suddenly dry.

“Oh. Nothing. I was, uh… just looking at your scars,” I said, my ears twisting back with embarrassment.

I wasn’t sure what else to say— I couldn’t lie to him; he’d _seen_ me staring.

He blinked for a moment before he turned his head, angling his scars away from me and breaking eye contact.

“Do they bother you?” he asked, his voice barely above a breath.

My eyes widened into two huge moons, and I almost let out an incredulously huff of laughter.

_I was just thinking about how badly I want to be closer to him, but he thinks that I find his scars repellent?!_

“No!” I said, conviction making my voice come out a bit louder than I intended. “That’s not it at all.”

He glanced back over at me. We just stared at each other in silence for a moment, and again, I was filled with the powerful, desperate urge to lean into him.

This time, even my fear couldn’t fend it off.

Instead, I gave into it. I let it guide me forward, pulling me closer towards him. I moved slowly, giving him every chance to break eye-contact or turn away.

But, he didn’t. His gaze was unwavering on mine until our faces were so close that our eyes could no longer focus on the other’s. Then, when there was less than a whisker’s length of distance between our faces, it was Wolfshade who closed the gap, leaning in to gently brush his scarred cheek against one of my own.

I inhaled sharply. My heart clenched with some sort of emotion that was undeniably painful and intensely joyful at the same time, and a soft purr started to thrum in my throat.

Then we both jerked at the sound of crashing undergrowth— the fragile moment between shattered. Both of our heads twisted towards the noise, and a loud yowl echoed through the still night air.

_“Lightningfire!”_

I was already on my paws, my fur prickling with fear at the tone of panic in the cry. Creamclaw burst through the undergrowth, sprinting towards us, her chest heaving as she panted.

"Creamclaw! What is it? What's going on?" I asked, my claws unsheathing as a million anxious scenarios flashed through my mind.

Creamclaw sucked in a deep breath, coming to a skidding stop.

"You have to come quickly," she gasped, her grey eyes round with fear. "It's Echosong. She's very ill.”


	46. Shadows and Whispers

By the time we rushed back into camp, there was a small gathering of cats around the entrance to the medicine cat's den. Anxious buzzing rose from the crowd, and I spotted Leafstar among them. Wolfshade and I exchanged a worried look before I pushed forward, shoving my way through my clan-mates and into the mouth of the den, Creamclaw following me. There a cat was sprawled, half covered in dark shadows.

I stared down at Echosong's limp tabby form, dismay rooting my paws to the ground. I nosed her shoulder, but she was unresponsive.

"How long has she been like this? What happened?" I demanded, turning back to Creamclaw.

"I stepped on a thorn on the way to the dirt-place, so I went to have her take it out. She was fine, then the next moment, she just collapsed!" Creamclaw cried, her grey eyes wide with confusion and fear. "I woke Leafstar, then went and got you because I know you learned about herbs and healing from Echosong. So, I thought you might be able to help."

My gaze swept over the crowd. My clan-mates’ faces were dark with worry, but they were clearly staring at me for direction.

_Oh StarClan! Why me? I wish Frecklewish was still here!_

I gulped, looking away, and I turned my gaze to Wolfshade's instead. Wolfshade hung back by the entrance to the den with Leafstar, but when our eyes met, I found reassurance in his gaze. His eyes were as sturdy as an old pine, impervious to even the strongest storms and winds. I inhaled several deep breaths, forcing my rising panic down.

Then I bent down to examine Echosong more closely. I noticed a bit of blood collecting in the corner of her mouth. I wedged her jaw open, searching her cheeks for sores or a bitten tongue, but I found no source for the blood. Echosong coughed suddenly and a few blood droplets flew from her throat, hacked up from her lungs.

I froze, my pelt bristling in horror at the mysterious and terrifying symptom.

Echosong stirred, her blue eyes cracking open.

"Lightningfire," she wheezed, before falling into another coughing fit.

In an instant, I was crouching down at her side, pressing my pelt comfortingly against hers.

"Shh, Echosong. You will be alright. How long have you been coughing like this?" I asked, guilt stinging me as I remembered the times I had noticed the cough and brushed it off.

Echosong gazed up at me with sad blue eyes

"I'm dying," she whispered, her voice barely a breath.

My muscles coiled up into knots, and I dug my claws into the ground.

"…What?" I asked, icy horror freezing in my veins.

But, Echosong's eyes had already drifted shut as she slipped back out of consciousness.

I stayed crouching next to her.

_Echosong has no idea what's wrong with her. She thinks she's dying. What can I do if she's given up?_

I shook my ears.

_No!_

I steeled myself, inhaling a deep breath.

_I refuse to think like that._

_But, I can’t do this alone! I’m not a real medicine cat. I need help, but there’s no living cats in the Clan who knows herbs and sicknesses like Echosong does…_

_No living cats… That’s it!_

I whirled back towards the crowd of cats at the entrance of the den, my gaze finding Leafstar.

"I need to go to the Whispering Cave," I gasped.

"What? Lightningfire, why?" Leafstar said, blinking in confusion.

The rest of my clan-mates looked equally bewildered from over Leafstar's shoulders.

"Please, leave us. Go back to your dens," Leafstar said, turning to them. “Lightningfire and I will take care of Echosong.”

Slowly, the cats dispersed, casting confused and worried glances over their shoulders. Wolfshade lingered for a moment and our eyes met. I gave him a single nod, putting on a brave face. Wolfshade inclined his head in response, and he slowly turned and walked away too. I glanced back at my mother.

"I've seen visions of a StarClan cat before. Cloudstar," I explained to Leafstar, stepping closer to her. “I think they might talk to me. I have no idea what is making Echosong so sick, but StarClan could help me!”

I blinked, my thoughts flashing back to the badger attack.

“Cloudstar at least has helped me before," I added.

Leafstar’s eyes widened in surprise at my admission, her gaze flashing with an unreadable emotion.

“Why have you never told me about these visions before?” she asked.

I shifted uneasily under her intense gaze.

“I’ve brought it up to Echosong before, but she told me not to worry about it,” I said. “She said that if StarClan had something to say to me, it would become clear with time.”

“…I—“ Leafstar began before giving her head a small shake. “Never mind, we don’t have the time to discuss this now. Very well, go to the Whisper Cave and see if our ancestors will speak with you. I will stay here and watch over Echosong.”

I nodded, lifting my chin and squaring my shoulders.

"Send a cat to wake me if her condition worsens," I said.

Then I was running out of the den. I dashed through camp, slowing as I reached the edge of the stream. I squinted at the river. I could barely make out the edges of dark stepping-stones in the faint moonlight. I took a deep breath before bounding onto the first one, forcing myself to move slowly so I did not slip on the slick surface.

I breathed a sigh of relief as my paws reached the narrow path on the other side. I followed the winding trail at a brisk pace, but my steps slowed as I reached the mouth of the cave.

The darkness inside gave me the same sense of foreboding that I’d gotten moons ago when I first followed Echosong and Cloudstar in. I took a deep breath, summoning my courage, and I strode into the blackness.

I let my whiskers guide me through the pitch-black tunnel. The only sound in my ears was the rushing of the wind and the loud pounding of my heart. I blinked hard a couple of times, and my eyes widened as I spotted a faint yellow glow ahead. The light grew brighter as the tunnel opened up into a cavern covered with glowing yellow mosses. They coated the floors and walls, as well as dangled down from the ceiling, dripping slow-moving water.

It was just as breathtaking as it was the first time. The moss shimmered as if it was alive with starlight, and my paws made ripples in the puddles of water as I strode through the cave, causing the lights to dance and flicker.

I walked to the same spot of raised, dry moss that I had seen Echosong sleeping on. I crouched down there and closed my eyes, preparing for sleep to take me. The quiet trickling of the dripping water soothed me, draining the tension from my muscles.

I sent a silent prayer up to StarClan.

They’d never answered me before, but there was a first time for everything.

_Please. I need you._

As I lay there, the heartbeats stretching on, nothing seemed to happen. The quiet dripping of the water remained in my ears. I screwed my eyes shut more tightly, willing myself to drift off.

I _needed_ to talk to one of our ancestors. Someone who could help me help Echosong. My ears twitching, I waited for the sounds around me to fade as I was swept up into a dream. But, the dripping water stayed constant.

Suddenly, a large, cold droplet landed right on my nose. Giving an irritable hiss, my eyes flew open.

I jerked in surprise at the sight that greeted me, and I stumbled to my paws.

This wasn’t the Whispering Cave.

I was in an unfamiliar forest. The sky above me was a light, cloudy grey and a gentle sprinkle of rain fell down through the thick canopy of trees, explaining the trickling sound. The woods around me rustled with soft prey noises, and many warm cat-scents filled the air, but there were none that I recognized.

_Is this StarClan?_

"Cloudstar?" I called hesitantly into the undergrowth, hoping to spot the flash of a familiar pelt. “Bouncefire? Frecklewish?”

There was no response besides the echoing of my own voice back at me.

My tail twitched in annoyance.

I didn’t have the time for this! I wasn’t sure if time in dreams passed differently than it did when I was awake, but every moment I spent asleep in the Whispering Cave was a moment in which Echosong got a little more sick.

Picking a random direction, I started sprinting through the green-leaf woods.

"Cloudstar! Cloudstar!?” I shouted again and again, bursting through the undergrowth, sending prey scattering in all directions.

_StarClan must know that I’m here right?! But, where are all the spirits? Are they hiding from me on purpose?_

I came to a panting stop in a clearing when my legs trembled with tiredness and my lungs ached for air. I hissed in irritation. This was a dream! Shouldn’t I be able to run forever if I wanted?

As I caught my breath, I studied the clearing that my paws had taken me to. Four lonesome oaks towered above me, encircling a massive, jutting stone in the center.

“Someone? Hello?” I shouted. “Anyone?”

Only more silence met my words. A growl began to rumble in my throat.

"This is not the time for shadows and whispers!" I snarled to the empty trees around me.

Then I startled as a voice spoke from behind me.

"Lightningfire, it is a pleasure to finally officially meet you. Tell me, why are you yowling about at the top of your lungs?"

I whirled around to see the now familiar white and grey StarClan warrior crouched on top of the huge boulder. He gazed down at me with eyes that shone with some sort of unearthly power, curling his tail over paws that glimmered with starlight. I blinked, my irritation fading as I stared up at the intimidating cat.

"Cloudstar?" I asked, my voice hoarse from yelling and from awe.

Cloudstar dipped his head to me in confirmation.

I padded over to the rock, gathering my haunches under me. I sprung onto it in a single bound. Cloudstar waited in silence as I settled down beside him and took a moment to appraise our surroundings.

"Where are we?" I asked.

"A place I have not been for a very long time," Cloudstar said with a sigh, gazing at the oaks.

I frowned at his lack-of-answer, but then brushed it off, deciding not to waste time searching for a less cryptic response.

“I’m here because of Echosong," I meowed. "She's very sick—"

"I know, Lightningfire," he interrupted me gently.

I blinked, gazing at him for a moment.

“Well, then tell me what to do! What is wrong with her? Why is she coughing blood?" I demanded, trying to keep the desperation out of my voice.

Cloudstar shook his head.

"I am sorry young warrior, but there is nothing I can do to help you," he replied, his eyes shimmering with an ancient sadness. "StarClan sent an omen to Echosong, warning her that this was coming, but there is nothing we can do to stop it."

I froze, stunned into silence that Cloudstar was admitting defeat.

_He’s from_ **_StarClan_ ** _; he can do anything, right?! What does he mean that he can't help me?_

"So you have no idea?" I rasped.

Cloudstar paused for a moment, his ears flicking.

"The sickness that sinks its claws into her is not unheard of. Through the ages there have been whisperings of a disease that roosts in the lungs, clawing and tearing them up from the inside, filling them with blood. But, it is rare," he meowed.

I arched a brow.

“So… do you know a cure?" I asked, my tail-tip twitching.

Cloudstar sighed.

"There is rumored to be a herb…" he meowed.

I leaned towards him eagerly.

"What is it?" I said, my pelt prickling with anticipation.

Cloudstar shook his head.

"I can't tell you," he meowed.

My brow furrowed as anger started smoldering in my chest. I swallowed hard, trying to keep my composure.

_I doubt he’ll be more inclined to help me if I lose my cool and begin yowling at him._

"Why not?" I meowed. "You _can't_ tell me, or you _won’t_?"

Cloudstar gazed at me, his expression unreadable.

"StarClan cannot interfere in every affair. Cats must be allowed to live their own lives. And, die their own deaths," Cloudstar said.

My tail flipped from side to side.

"So that's it then? What you're saying is Echosong is going to die," I said flatly.

Cloudstar tilted his head to the side.

"Perhaps," he mused.

"What will our Clan do without a medicine cat?" I demanded, my shoulders tensing.

Cloudstar stared at me.

"Echosong is not dead yet," he reminded me. "The answers you seek are already among you. You may find the answer to save her. And, if you do not, then you shall find the answer to your other questions as well.”

"Me? But, how can I cure here all by myself? I'm not a medicine cat!" I said.

Cloudstar continued to gaze at me unwaveringly. I narrowed my eyes, a terrible suspicion filling me.

"But, you think I should be. That's why you keep sending me visions and walking in my dreams, isn't it?" I asked, swallowing back a growl that threatened in my throat.

Cloudstar didn't reply. I unsheathed my long, curled claws, scraping them against the stone beneath me. Frustration bubbled higher, and this time, I couldn’t stop the growl from rumbling in my chest.

_Our ancestors are supposed to help and guide us, but all Cloudstar’s done is give me non-answers, useless advice, and confusing visions!_

"Answer me!" I demanded, lashing my tail. “Why have you singled me out like this? Why did you save me from the badgers, but now you refuse to save Echosong!?”

"The future is fogged, even to the warriors of StarClan. We can see a great struggle coming for our Clan, and you are a key part of it,” he said. “I saved you for that reason.”

My brow furrowed.

“What? What’s that supposed to mean?” I said, almost wanting to wail with frustration.

_How is it that with every question I ask him, I just get more confused than I was before?_

He shook his head.

“I’m sorry, but there’s nothing more I can say to help you. I don’t have all of answers. I do not know what is the right path for you to follow. All I do know is that you must tread carefully Lightningfire, for your destiny will shape that of SkyClan's," he rumbled.

I curled my lip, any respect I had left for him burned away by anger.

“I’ve had enough of this. _I’m_ going to save Echosong, even if you won’t. Because _I_ make my own destiny," I hissed, turning aside and vaulting down from the rock.

I began to stalk off, but a single word rang out that froze me in place.

_“No.”_

I tensed, turning slowly to glance back at him. Cloudstar was sitting just as I’d left him on the large rock, tail wrapped calmly around his paws.

“No?” I echoed.

“No. You don’t make your own destiny. You don’t _choose,_ Lightningfire; you were _chosen,”_ Cloudstar rumbled.

My stomach flipped, and I swallowed hard, my mouth suddenly dry. Cloudstar rose to his feet, his eyes beginning to glow like tiny, twin suns of blue fire. He lifted his chin and his tail, looming over me from his perch on the boulder. I took a step back from him, suddenly stricken by the power of the ancient warrior.

"Beware, Lightningfire," Cloudstar said, but his voice was amplified as if there were dozens of cats speaking as one. "A terrible storm is coming, and _deafening thunder will rip through the sky_."

"What—?" I began to meow.

But, before I could even finish my question, darkness appeared at the edge of my sight and surged forward to overtake my whole vision.

The pained screams of my clan-mates filled my ears, and invisible pelts jostled me from every side. Fear gushed through me at the scent and noise of their panic. I strained my gaze, but I could only make out the palest of outlines of cats.

 _"Lightning sears and scorches,"_ Cloudstar's voice whispered in my ears.

Then an intense flash of light blinded me, silencing the sounds of battle with a rumble of thunder and soothing darkness.

I gasped awake, eyes flying open.

I was back to being alone in the Whispering Cave, the yellow moss still glowing around me. I raised my head from the ground, panting heavily, my paw-pads damp with perspiration. My body trembled as the terrifying dream still sunk its claws deeply into my mind. Then an image of Cloudstar's grey and white face flashed in my head, and a surge of anger burned away the fear.

_Useless._

I gave my head a sharp shake to dislodge the lingering images of the dream and stumbled to my paws, running out of the cave. I tore down the path, bounding across the stepping stones with careless speed. I made it to the other side and sprinted across camp, bursting into the medicine cat's den, panting hard.

"Lightningfire!" Leafstar meowed, turning to look at me with concern in her blue eyes.

"StarClan was no help," I hissed, stalking over to her.

I gazed down at Echosong's weak, sleeping form. Leafstar’s brow furrowed, her tail swishing uneasily.

“So, you don't know what's wrong with her?" my mother asked quietly.

I shook my head.

"But, that doesn't mean that I'm giving up," I said firmly, before lowering my voice to mutter under my breath to myself. "Not like Cloudstar.”

I padded over the herb storage, where I started pawing through the piles of leaves, flowers, and roots. I sniffed out some horsetail.

_To stop the bleeding._

I grabbed the fleshy stalks in my jaws and carried them back over to Echosong. Leafstar watched on in silence as I did a quick assessment of Echosong, running my paws over her body as I had seen her do to so many other warriors and myself. I brushed my paw over her stomach and chest, probing gently and carefully, but uncertain as to exactly what I was looking for.

_Oh, mouse-dung! I wish I knew what I was doing._

Nothing really felt out of the ordinary to my untrained paws. I bent over and gave Echosong's face a sniff. Besides a faint tinge of blood, I could detect no rotting, sickly scent of infection. She seemed almost _normal._

_No wonder she hid this so well. Besides coughing blood, it looks like nothing's wrong with her._

I touched her nose to my paw-pad. It was dry and hot, burning with fever. My brow furrowed with concern as I pulled my paw away. I carefully opened one of Echosong's eyes. Her pale blue gaze was glassy. I gently let her eye shut, and I got to my paws again, heading back to the herb storage to grab some feverfew. I carried it back over with me and laid it next to the horsetail.

"What did StarClan tell you?" Leafstar asked.

I glanced over my shoulder back at her. My pelt prickled as I heard Cloudstar’s last words echoing in my ears.

_Lightning sears and scorches._

I looked down at my paws.

_He’s talking about me._

"Um," I said, hesitating.

Suddenly all of the hot anger I’d felt towards Cloudstar was instead replaced by cold dread and anxiety as his words finally sunk in.

_What do all of those things mean? My destiny shapes SkyClan’s? ‘Lightning sears and scorches?’_

_What have I done? Or, what_ **_will_ ** _I do?_

_And, how much do I tell Leafstar?_

"I spoke with Cloudstar," I meowed. "He told me that StarClan's heard of the rare disease that Echosong has, but he can't help me cure it. He said that I may be able to cure it myself though.”

“That’s good news!” Leafstar said, nodding encouragingly. “Why did you say that they were no help?”

My tail swished from side to side, and I stared down at the ground.

“Because he knew what it was but wouldn’t tell me!” I protested. “And, because of these other things he said to me… I’m not sure what he meant. It was like he was warning me, but he wouldn’t tell me from what. But, he did say something like that I must tread carefully because my destiny will shape SkyClan’s.”

I bit the inside of my cheek and glanced up at Leafstar. I had dearly hoped to see some sort of light-hearted expression on her face, and she would laugh Cloudstar’s warning off as some sort of mistake. Or, even a messed-up joke. But, my mother’s expression was grave and deadly serious as she gazed at me, and I swallowed hard, pulling away from her slightly.

“…Mom?” I meowed hesitantly. “Does that… mean something to you?”

Leafstar blinked like she was snapped herself out of a spell.

“Did he say anything else that seemed important?” she asked instead of replying, her gaze still intense but slightly less worrying now as she met my eyes.

My ears flattened, the words _‘lightning sears and scorches’_ echoing in my head.

“I’m— I’m having trouble remembering,” I lied. “The dream was confusing, and Cloudstar wouldn’t give me a straight answer to anything.”

Leafstar nodded, a strange absent-minded look in her blue eyes. It reminded me of the look Echosong had when I first told her that Cloudstar spoke to me during the badger attack. Like she knew more than she was telling.

My stomach clenched.

 _Do Leafstar and Echosong know something that I don’t about those things Cloudstar said? Has he spoken to them before… about_ **_me?_ ** _And, if they do know something about me, then why haven’t they **told** me?_

I swallowed hard, the obvious answer coming to me.

_Because it’s something bad. Cloudstar warned me to ‘tread carefully,’ and ‘lightning sears and scorches’ hardly calls to mind pleasant imagery._

My eyes widened, my body filling with cold as if my blood had turned to ice. But, I blinked, snapping myself out of it as Leafstar spoke again.

“Well, if you remember anything else, you can always talk to me about it,” she meowed, seeming more normal.

I nodded hesitantly, looking away and back down at the herbs at my paws. I cleared my throat.

“Well, I'll try this for now for Echosong," I meowed, briskly changing the subject and pawing the herbs together. "I'm hoping it'll bring down her fever and stop the bleeding in her lungs."

I chewed the herbs together, just enough to make them mushy, but not enough that I swallowed and absorbed their healing juices for myself. Then I dropped the leaf-mush into Echosong's mouth and coasted her into swallowing it just like I had done to Wolfshade when he was locked in his deep sleep.

"I hope this works," I muttered, staring down at Echosong's limp form.

Leafstar padded over to me and pressed her muzzle to my head in a comforting gesture.

"Echosong is in good paws," Leafstar meowed. "StarClan believes in you and so do I.”

I glanced up at my mother, doubt swirling in my belly.

_Do they? And, do **you?** …I hardly believe in me._

But, I didn’t say those words out loud. Instead, I just nodded.

"Your primary duty will be taking care of Echosong instead of performing warrior duties for the time-being," Leafstar meowed, pulling back from me.

I noticed her words were more of a command than a request, but I nodded along anyway.

“Good," she said with a nod. “Come get me if anything happens.”

She got to her paws and padded out of the den, leaving me alone with the sick medicine cat and my dark thoughts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you believe that Lightningfire actually thought that StarClan was going to be nice and helpful? Like, girl, come on, have you ever even read a Warriors book?

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Shadow and Lightning](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27732934) by [SavvySpirit](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SavvySpirit/pseuds/SavvySpirit)




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